(And remember folks, this is a UFC main event, so the fight will be scheduled for five rounds, and both fighters will be allowed to receive injections of synthetic testosterone during training. Wait, what’s that? Only *one* of them can do that? Well how the fuck does that make any sense? / Photo via Getty Images)

Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to go live from Jaraguá do Sul — known to many* as the Kansas City of Brazil — for UFC on FX 8: Belfort vs. Rockhold. Once again, the Phenom has home-country advantage and the Lord’s blessing. Will that be enough to stave off the invasion of a young, hungry, and very amped-up former Strikeforce champ? Plus: Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza makes his UFC debut against Chris Camozzi, and Rafael Dos Anjos clashes with Evan Dunham in the lightweight division.

Taking us through the play-by-play tonight will be Matt Kaplan, who will be stacking live results after the jump beginning at 9 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and toss in your own thoughts in the comments section — or just holler at us on twitter @CagePotatoMMA.

* Or perhaps, nobody?

(Paul Kelly, leaving his audition for the upcoming Don’ You Go Rounin’ Roun to Re Ro sequel. / Photo via Liverpool Echo)

Paul “Tellys” Kelly, the thickly accented Scouser who compiled a 5-4 record while competing in the UFC as a welterweight and lightweight from 2008-2011, was just convicted of drug-trafficking in his native England, and is currently awaiting sentencing next month. According to the charges filed against him, Kelly — who has maintained his innocence throughout his trial — led a significant heroin dealing operation, in which he and his friend Christopher St John McGirr used couriers to import and distribute heroin. The Liverpool Echo (which Tellys doesn’t seem to hold a very high opinion of) adds more details:

West Derby hard man Paul Kelly had denied being a major heroin dealer after an acquaintance of his was picked up with 1.5kg of import purity drugs in the footwell of his car. But after a four day trial jurors returned unanimous guilty verdicts and he was remanded in custody to await sentence…

During his trial he claimed he earned £100,000 a year and did not need to deal drugs for money. But prosecutor David McLachlan said the fighting money had dried up after he left UFC and ended up losing a “journeyman” bout in India.

(Not only did he charge little Billy twenty bucks for the autograph, but he also spelled his name “G-o-f-u-c-k-y-o-u-r-s-e-l-f.” Image via Caraway’s Twitter account.)

Okay, let me get this sentence out of the way as quickly as possible: Even though he expressed his opinion in a profoundly stupid manner, perhaps Nate Diaz has a damn good point about Bryan Caraway being a less-than-admirable individual.

I’ll give you a few moments to let that sink in.

(What, were you expecting something different?)

I’m not here to fault Caraway for accepting Pat Healy’s UFC 159 Submission of the Night bonus after Healy failed his drug test – even though he was obnoxiously self-righteous about it – because if my boss offered me sixty thousand dollars I wouldn’t exactly turn it down. But allegations of hitting a woman and selling drugs? That dog won’t hunt, monsignor.

Cheick Kongo owns and operates a high-end clothing boutique in Los Angeles called FragoLA. I’ve got nothing clever to say about that right now because that true statement is pretty weird and awesome sounding on it’s own, isn’t it?

Kongo has always gone for a minimalist type of style (think, his vale tudo shorts, necklace and wire-rimmed glasses weigh-in uniform) so I suppose it makes sense that the former UFC heavyweight has chosen to invest in a store selling the latest seasonal offerings from expensive designers. Ok, it doesn’t really make sense but it is a hell of juxtaposition – A bear-voiced 240 pound professional fighter asking little Angelino women if they are finding everything alright – so, check out the video above, if only for the novelty of it all.

Karyn Bryant models some of FragoLA’s finest while interviewing Kongo in the store. I won’t say the interview is bad, I just couldn’t understand much of what was going on. Neither could Bryant.

Kongo shadily refuses to reveal how he keeps prices so low on his men’s and women’s designer duds and, for some reason, talks a lot about how he is black. I’d personally never before noticed that he was.

Kongo’s accent and weird “humor” make for an awkward sit-down. Any tater that gets through all sixteen minutes gets a special place in my heart and a shout-out in my next event live-blog.

So, in conclusion, Cheick Kongo owns and operates a high-end clothing boutique in Los Angeles called FragoLA. Wow.

- Elias Cepeda

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

During Thursday’s UFC on FX 8 pre-fight press conference, Vitor Belfort did that thing he loves to do where he held his right fist out to Luke Rockhold‘s chin during their photo-op staredown. Luke was not amused. So, after the two headliners weighed in today at Arena Jaragua in Jaragua do Sul, Santa Catarina, Brazil, Rockhold just walked straight through Belfort’s fist-pose, making body contact with the Brazilian fighter. Belfort shoved Rockhold, and Bootleg Dana had to separate them.

Video of that incident is above, and the full “Belfort vs. Rockhold” weigh-in results are after the jump. Be sure to come back to CagePotato.com tomorrow night at 9 p.m. ET for our liveblog of the main card!

(It’s a gif of a guy eating cotton candy, played backwards. You either love this or you don’t. Props: Deadspin/Bob’sBlitz)

The Business of Fighting: A Look Inside the UFC’s Top-Secret Fighter Contract (BleacherReport)

UFC on FX 8 Predictions: Main Card (FightDay)

Nate Diaz, The UFC and The Other F-Word (MMAJunkie)

UFC Fighters That Smile Before a Fight Lose More; Science Is Awesome (MiddleEasy)

“…so basically, I’ll kneel down behind Anderson, and you push him over me. Trust me, it’ll be epic.” (Facebook.com/CagePotato)

Josh Barnett Reignites Hope for UFC Deal, Saying It’s Where He Can Cement His Legacy (MMAFighting)

History of the UFC Video Game (Pt. 1) – Enter the Digital Era (MMAPayout)

UFC 165 Booked for Air Canada Centre on Sept. 21 in Toronto, Canada (MMAMania)

Sam Sicilia is Still on the UFC Roster (MMAWeekly)

CrossFit: Your Ultimate Training Guide (MensFitness)

“Mortal Kombat: The Live Tour” Was a Real Thing That Happened in 1996 and It’s Deliciously Awful [Video] (Complex)

How Do Men React to Labor Pain? (Break)

Star Trek Recast: If Other Celebs Were Star Trek Characters (WorldwideInterweb)

Lessons From a Self-Made Millionaire: Meet Adam Carolla (DoubleViking)

25 Absolutely Ridiculous Daytime Television Screenshots (EgoTV)

(Stupid Things MMA Fans Used to Believe #26: THIS will be a competitive match up.)

Although he’s getting more press for his TRT usage than he is for his actual octagon performances nowadays, there was a time when Vitor Belfort was just a fresh-faced Brazilian assassin who was quite literally trimming the fat from the UFC’s heavyweight division. That time was 1997, and there was perhaps no greater a display of Vitor’s ability to crush hopelessly outmatched and overweight opponents than his UFC 12 thrashing of Scott Ferrozzo. Thankfully, UFC.com has made the fight temporarily available to the public, presumably so we can gain some perspective on what a true squash match looks like and be happy with the fights we’re given.

As hilarious as it is depressing, join us after the jump as we take a look back at just what constituted a UFC tournament final. You will laugh, you will cry, you will declare that you’re getting too old for this shit.

(Let’s just say that Diaz’s apology is still in the early draft stage.)

Update: Diaz has received an immediate 90-day suspension and $20,000 fine for violating the UFC’s fighter code of conduct.

Regardless of how you feel about the whole Pat Healy situation (it’s some bullshit) or Bryan Caraway’s subsequent anti-marijuana rant, it would be hard to argue that Nate Diaz expressed his opinions on the situation correctly when he called Caraway a “Fag” for “taking” Healy’s SOTN bonus. Whether he meant to offend the LGBT community or not when he typed it (our guess is that he didn’t, which his manager has also *attempted* to affirm), he probably should have known that, as a public figure, you can’t so much as call someone “lame” in the public forum without incurring the wrath of all the stump-footed people you offended shortly thereafter. It’s the world we live in, for better or for worse, and it’s also why a “Code of Conduct” was recently established in the UFC.

The fact that UFC fighters have been fired over similar (albeit much more offensive) tweets in the past should have raised some red flags, which is maybe why Diaz deleted his original tweet, then reworded it to his liking before posting it yesterday. Unfortunately for Diaz, the UFC has responded quickly and harshly, stating the following:

We are very disappointed by Nate Diaz’s comments, which are in no way reflective of our organization. Nate is currently suspended pending internal investigation and we will provide further comment once the matter has been decided.

We are going to fine, suspend or cut him. One or two of those three will happen.

(“It’ll never happen, ladies. Now go back to the kitchen and make me an eight-sided sandwich.” / Image via CagePotato’s Facebook page, which you should all follow immediately.)

By the CagePotato.com Staff

They were undeniable truths — until suddenly, they weren’t. Check out our latest list below, and ask yourself: What do I believe now that will turn out to be utter bullshit someday?

1. Alistair Overeem will become the UFC heavyweight champion in less than a year.

(Photo via Esther Lin/MMAFighting.com)

2. There’s no way a boxer could ever beat a mixed martial artist under MMA rules.

3. Rickson’s record is 400-0. No, seriously.
 

(Somewhere in Indiana, Miguel Torres is breathing a sigh of relief.) 

Ladies and gentlemen, we give you the single dumbest tweet of 2013. The top one.

385 retweets. 184 favorites. And counting.

Feel free to start speculating how much Diaz gets fined for this, or what his inevitable apology to the LGBT community will sound like, in the comments section.

-J. Jones