(Watson, seen here showing Flava Flav how a *true* hype man accepts an award. via Getty)
Rumors have been swirling for days that longtime UFC site coordinator Burt Watson had left the promotion following a mid-show dispute with management at UFC 184. While most of us were hoping that those rumors were just that, today brings the confirmation that Watson has in fact departed from the UFC after a 14-year stint as their “Babysitter to the Stars.”
(Mark, are you giving up?! I need a sign Mark! Literally *any* sign! No? Well, fight on then!” via Getty.)
By CP Reader Steve Hand
It’s hard to believe that a night which saw five fighters finished inside of three minutes could feature so many late stoppages, but such is the incompetency of the modern MMA referee (second only to that of, you guessed it, Frank Stallone the MMA judge). Without using too much hyperbole, I feel comfortable saying that UFC 184 was the biggest reffing travesty since the 2007 NBA Betting Scandal, and maybe of all time. And with that, let’s take a look at just how bad the ball was dropped over the course of the night.
As Michael Bisping might say, Cat Zingano didn’t last as long as a virgin on prom night in her long-awaited title bid against Ronda Rousey last weekend, succumbing to an armbar in just 14 seconds of their UFC 184 main event tilt. “Alpha” let her emotions get the best of her, both in the fight itself and in her post-fight interview, and it cost her big time. My heart breaks for the poor woman.
Aside from it’s lightning-quick main event, UFC 184 also saw Josh Koscheck and Mark Munoz get choked within an inch of their lives, Holly Holm pick apart Raquel Pennington (sort of), and Alan Jouban announce his arrival to the welterweight division with a vicious standing hellbow. Join us after the jump for all the highlights from UFC 184, most of which totally aren’t in the form of illegal gifs. (*removes sunglasses*) (*winks*)
(Easy there, Dave. One second it’s doing your job, the next it’s a lawsuit. via Getty)
By Sam Stilson
Well if we learned anything from UFC Fight Night 61, it’s that MMA is perhaps the most unpredictable sport in the world. That, and Bigfoot Silva is slowing shrinking and will soon be nothing but an Easter Island statue made of glass.
The fact that 10 of 11 underdogs won last week has surely given some hope to the massive long shots featured in both the main and co-main events of this weekend’s UFC 184 card. But confidence is hardly enough when facing the best of the best in the women’s division (though this guy might disagree).
Let’s take a look at who the money-makers are for UFC 184.
My arm hurts, and my brain is nearly empty. After six months of thinking about nothing but a 16 second fight, it’s hard to envision tackling a new project. So instead of making more artwork, Cage Potato has given me the opportunity to tell you a bit about how I made this one.
Ladies and gentleman, the women’s heavyweight division. Where breaks are taken mid-fight to adjust loose-fitting sports bras. Where the referees don backwards hats. Where the only thing that’s thin is the talent.
You know what, despite what I’ve just written, I would actually like to applaud these women for their courage, commitment, and surprisingly impressive cardio. (I’m sorry, I literally can’t help myself.)
After the jump: Round 2. Yes, there is a round 2. Ish.
(Looks like Andy Serkis just found himself out of a job for the Lord of the Rings reboot. Props: r/MMA)
If you’ve been watching the excellent UFC 184 Embedded series thus far, chances are that you’ve been thoroughly entertained by the-GOOD GOD WHAT IS THAT THING BEFORE ME.
Captured by r/MMA user lrkr486, the Gollum-esque looking creature pictured above is apparently Expendables star Mickey Rourke, who we can assure you definitely isn’t, as one commenter suggested, “on the heels of a three week crack binge.” It’s more like an eight to ten week binge for sure.
Rourke told the cameras in episode 2 of Embedded that he met Ellenberger while training for a fight in Russia (which, LOL) around the same time Jake was training for a fight of his own, and the two have become buddies in the time since. That being the case, perhaps now’s the time for Ellenberger to gather Rourke’s other closest friends around and hold an intervention for whatever the Hell is happening to
After the Jump: The first 3 episodes of UFC Embedded, via the UFC’s Youtube channel.
(We hear that if you play that song backwards on loop, it lines up perfectly with the Wizard of Oz, maaaaaaan.)
Disclaimer: Guys, I am really digging the articles you’ve been sending in, but especially these Onion-style pieces ala “Ultimate Roided Fucking Killers League.” Here is another such article that’s just as hilarious. — Jared
By CP Reader Scott Johnson
Off the heels of the major announcement made by the UFC last Wednesday, the Nevada State Athletic Commission (NSAC) has decided to follow suit with a groundbreaking decision of their own. Beginning June 30th, NSAC will begin implementing a new drug testing policy upon itself in the hopes that it will curb the erratic, irrational behavior that has long plagued its decision making process. (See: everything from the past month)
The new policy will see representatives of the NSAC, which includes referees, judges and commission members, be subject to year round random drug tests as well as mandatory testing prior to any events or hearings. These new changes are expected to help to eradicate the poor decisions that have adversely affected all aspects of MMA.
“After reviewing the hearing that took place on February 17th of 2015, it was clear that changes needed to be made to ensure that the integrity and good name of the Nevada State Athletic Commission would remain intact,” said Francisco Aguilar without a hint of irony or self-awareness in his voice.
By now, you’ve probably seen the video of UFC/Bellator veteran Josh Neer brutalizing Patrick Martin, a non-professional fighter who was talking a whole heap of mess to Neer on the social medias, in his Iowa-based gym. Reactions have ranged from “Dude got what was coming to him” to “Neer is a scumbag who should be brought in on assault charges”, so we figured we might as well weigh in on the story in the most cynical way possible. Starting with…