It’s pretty much known by anyone who possesses a working set of ears that Taylor Swift has the vocal range of a walrus being strangled to death by a vibrating belt machine (as opposed to say, Warbringer, who are basically the Three Tenors of our generation). Still, that fact hasn’t stopped her from snatching up damn near every Billboard, CMT, MTV, BET, or Grammy award out there, because musical talent is something that is apparently determined by how many lovestruck 12 year-old girls buy your relationship-prostituting albums nowadays.

In any case, Ms. Swift and her voice have become quite the subject of parody on the Twitters and Youtubes lately, with her hit song “I Knew You Were Trouble” taking the brunt of it. While her duet with a screaming goat might be the most notorious of these parodies, Youtube user FreeFights4You has offered an alternative, MMA-themed take on the song that will surely ascend to the top of the Taylor Swift-based parodies for at least a week.

Featuring none other than UFC 160′s Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva on guest vocals, this parody might just be the greatest thing you will ever witness today. I mean, it’s no “baby monkey riding on a pig,” but what will ever top that slice of fried gold, honestly?

Now if only the UFC would quit being so stubborn and start accepting fan-made promos like “Nick Diaz: Crazy, Shirtless Mofo” and “Knowing About Horse Meat is Half the Battle,” we guaran-damn-tee that they would see their pay-per-view sales increased tenfold. TENFOLD WE TELLS YOU.

-J. Jones

(Looks like this year’s harvest will be even better. Sanguis Bibimus! Corpus Edimus! Photo via Getty Images.) 

By Dan “Get Off Me” George

This Saturday night, Cain Velasquez will attempt to make WILL MAKE the first title defense of his career in his second term as UFC heavyweight champion when he rematches Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva, Mark Hunt will look to continue WILL CONTINUE his Cinderella run in the co-main event against former HW champ Junior Dos Santos, and a possible #1 contender the next lightweight title contender WILL BE DECIDED in the sure-to-be-brawl between Gray Maynard and T.J. Grant. Whew.

With one of the strongests undercards (on paper) in what feels like an eternity, UFC 160 is primed to become, at the very least, a night chock full of wild finishes and entertaining scraps that will leave *no fan* unsatisfied. I really hope I’m not overselling it. Anyway, join us now as we try to underline the right favorites and highlight some possible underdogs in the hopes of finding that ever-elusive payout for UFC 160. The gambling lines, as always, come courtesy of BestFightOdds.

Undercard bouts:

Brian Bowles (-280) vs. George Roop (+240)

Having only lost twice, to Urijah Faber and injuryweight world champion Dominick Cruz, Bowles comes in as a healthy -280 favorite (and rightfully so) against the woefully inconsistent George Roop. Roop is coming off a less than convincing win over Reuben Duran in his return to bantamweight, whereas his opponent is looking to get back on the short list of top contenders in the division. Bowles should be able to close the distance on Roop and get this fight to the mat, where we may see a submission victory for the former WEC champion. Bowles makes the parlay at -140 and the prop bet that he is able to end things before the final bell.

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Earlier today, we came across this wonderful Michael Bisping photoshop by UG’er JCSUPERMAN, which The Count liked so much that he’s currently using it as his twitter avatar. Indeed, it’s a breathtaking image — and it just begs for the Joseph Ducreux treatment. So, the CagePotato staff decided to turn Bisping’s portrait into the latest MMA meme. Check out more of Bisping’s old-timey trash-talk after the jump, and if you want to take a crack at making your own, grab the original image and post your originals on our Facebook page.

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(Danny Castillo comes dangerously close to being Sass’d at UFC on FUEL 7 in February. / Photo via Getty Images)

Ladies and gentlemen, the Sassangle is back in business. After recently losing his UFC contract following back-to-back losses, British lightweight submission specialist Paul Sass (13-2) has been picked up by Bellator; his debut date and opponent are TBA. The promotion announced the signing yesterday, in addition to pickups of two other top British 155-pounders:

- Martin Stapleton (12-1), who you may remember from his stint on TUF 9. After picking up two more wins in his home country following the reality show, Stapleton took nearly three years off due to a commitment with the Royal Marines. He returned in 2012 and went 5-0 that year, including three wins in one night at an eight-man Cage Contender tournament last December, where he out-pointed Tommy Maguire in the finals.

- Rob Sinclair (12-2), the reigning BAMMA lightweight champion who is riding a five-fight win streak, with four of those wins by KO/TKO. Fun fact: Sinclair lost a split decision to Paul Sass in October 2009, becoming the first man to go three rounds against Sass without tapping.

So, will Bellator throw all these guys at each other in an upcoming Bellator: U.K. lightweight tournament? We can’t say for sure, but the latest crop of Brit-signings is no coincidence. As CEO Bjorn Rebney explains:

(“On second thought, I’ll just take your word for it…” – Guy on the Left)

Horrific penis injuries: They’re the new injured foot of MMA injuries.

UFC veteran Waylon Lowe has made his way back into headlines the hard way today, as he is suing The Mood – a sex shop on South Street, Philadelphia – for selling him a product that has permanently scarred his genitals. Of course this is how the unfortunate bastard manages to finally get MMA fans talking about him again, because why wouldn’t it be.

Assuming you haven’t already skipped to the comments section to unleash your best one-liners, you can read details about the product he used and the injury itself [NSFA] after the jump.

(Why do I get the feeling that I’m about to have sand kicked in my face? / Photo via MediaTakeOut.com)

MMAJunkie breaks the news that Alistair Overeem will make his Octagon return at UFC on FOX Sports 1 1 — which takes place August 17th in Boston — where he’ll face dangerous heavyweight Travis Browne. (Sorry, Milwaukee-area Reem-fans. You’ve been duped.) According to the Junkie, the Overeem vs. Browne match will not be the show’s main event, which gives some credence to Dana White’s bold claim that UFC on FOX Sports 1 1 will be “the best television card we’ve ever done.”

Overeem and Browne have some shared history, in that they were both flattened in recent fights against Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva, despite coming in as heavy favorites against the Brazilian future champion. Since then, Browne has rebounded with a quick-knockout of Gabriel Gonzaga at the TUF 17 Finale — aided by some controversial elbows — while Overeem has been inactive due to injury.

A year ago, I would have predicted “Reem by murder.” But now…I’m not so sure. Who would you put your money on for this one?

(Guida engages the UFC on FOX: Johnson vs. Dodson audience in the ancient Native American dance known as the “Iwannanothadrinka.” Photo via Combat Lifestyle.)

We’ve thrown the word “curse” around a lot here at CagePotato in the past year or so (as in “injury curse,” “cursed from birth,” and “curse you Dana for setting this up!”), but featherweight contender Chad Mendes is one of the few fighters who might actually be able to stake a claim to that title. In his past three scheduled fights, all of his original opponents have pulled out due to a last minute injury, leaving Mendes to face off against late replacement opponents on two occasions and cancelling his fight altogether in the third. Then again, any curse that ends in you collecting two quick knockouts and upwards of eighty thousand dollars is a hell of a lot better than the festering boils and dead first born I’ve been stuck with.

Anyway, the last man to pull out of a fight with Mendes was none other than recently-converted featherweight Clay “N-Pray” [*rimshot*] Guida, who was replaced by Darren Elkins just as quickly as Darren Elkins was defeated by Chad Mendes when the two eventually met at UFC on FOX: Henderson vs. Diaz. According to Ariel Helwani, the UFC is considering rebooking Mendes vs. Guida for the August 31st-scheduled UFC 164 card, which will also feature the beginning of Brandon Vera’s second attempt to become the UFC’s first two-division champ when he returns to the heavyweight division to face…Ben Rothwell. Baby steps, folks.

Props to BabesofMMA.com for introducing us to Naomi Das, a veteran “Hexagon Girl” for EFC Africa who will be back in action at EFC Africa 20 on June 27th. Originally hailing from North Wales, Naomi currently resides in Johannesburg where she spends her time as a model, hostess, and bikini competitor when she’s not circling the cage. The half-Indian, half-English beauty has also been a brand-ambassador for Luxy lingerie, and a news-reader for Babe News Nework.

Check out more of our favorite Naomi Das photos in the gallery below, and get to know her better on Facebook and Twitter.

Previously: Hot Potato Gallery: EFC Africa Ring Girl Riana Roberts

(*crickets* / Photo via US Presswire)

Looks like getting picked up right away by the World Series of Fighting after recently being fired by the UFC did not take away any bitterness from our favorite President-threatening lightweight, Jacob Volkmann. This past February, Volkmann lost by submission for the second time in his last three fights and was subsequently released by the UFC.

The elfin warrior tells AboveAndBeyondMMA.com that he didn’t deserve to be cut and is now on a mission to expose what he sees as the UFC’s unfair treatment of fighters.

“Well, I didn’t realize there was that much politics in martial arts, especially in the UFC. That was kind of frustrating. It’s not who is the best; it’s more of a political kind of BS,” he said.

“I was released after a loss against Bobby Green, which I should’ve never lost. It was kind of a fluke loss, going into the fight sick. I lost and then after that, they cut me. I was 6-2 at lightweight and they still cut me.

“You’ve got to know the right person, have the right manager in there. And your style determines if you stay in, too. The guys that stand and bang are the ones who are still fighting for the UFC. The ones that take the fights to the ground and focus more on the technique on the ground, they’re not in there because apparently the fans don’t like that.”

(We assume that this is how Barnett’s contract negotiation went down.)

Although we might have jumped the gun when we noticed that Josh Barnett’s profile had been added to UFC.com some weeks back — which honestly, can you blame us? – it finally appears that the perennial top heavyweight IS in fact headed back to the UFC despite rejecting his initial contract. For serious this time (via MMAJunkie/USA Today):

USA TODAY Sports/MMAjunkie.com today confirmed with promotion officials that former UFC heavyweight champion Barnett has signed a new multi-fight deal with the promotion and is expected to make his return to the octagon later this year. An official announcement is expected soon. 

“The Warmaster” has not competed since effortlessly strangling out some dude at the final Strikeforce event, but his addition to the UFC’s apparently shallow heavyweight division will undoubtedly make for some fireworks. Who would you like to see Barnett face first, Potato Nation? Personally, I’d like to see him rematch Nandor Guelmino, the scary-looking sumbitch who if I recall correctly gave Barnett one hell of a fight at…what’s that? You say Nandor *is* the guy Barnett effortlessly tapped at the final Strikeforce event? Joe Silva, I don’t know how you pull it off, you magnificent “mean little f*cker.”

To celebrate Barnett’s sure-to-be-triumphant return, we’ve compiled the definitive collection of Warbringer songs (and the Bolt Thrower song after which Barnett is nicknamed) after the jump. If you don’t understand why, well then you just don’t know Josh Barnett.