(“On second thought, I’ll just take your word for it…” – Guy on the Left)

Horrific penis injuries: They’re the new injured foot of MMA injuries.

UFC veteran Waylon Lowe has made his way back into headlines the hard way today, as he is suing The Mood – a sex shop on South Street, Philadelphia – for selling him a product that has permanently scarred his genitals. Of course this is how the unfortunate bastard manages to finally get MMA fans talking about him again, because why wouldn’t it be.

Assuming you haven’t already skipped to the comments section to unleash your best one-liners, you can read details about the product he used and the injury itself [NSFA] after the jump.

(Why do I get the feeling that I’m about to have sand kicked in my face? / Photo via MediaTakeOut.com)

MMAJunkie breaks the news that Alistair Overeem will make his Octagon return at UFC on FOX Sports 1 1 — which takes place August 17th in Boston — where he’ll face dangerous heavyweight Travis Browne. (Sorry, Milwaukee-area Reem-fans. You’ve been duped.) According to the Junkie, the Overeem vs. Browne match will not be the show’s main event, which gives some credence to Dana White’s bold claim that UFC on FOX Sports 1 1 will be “the best television card we’ve ever done.”

Overeem and Browne have some shared history, in that they were both flattened in recent fights against Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva, despite coming in as heavy favorites against the Brazilian future champion. Since then, Browne has rebounded with a quick-knockout of Gabriel Gonzaga at the TUF 17 Finale — aided by some controversial elbows — while Overeem has been inactive due to injury.

A year ago, I would have predicted “Reem by murder.” But now…I’m not so sure. Who would you put your money on for this one?

(Guida engages the UFC on FOX: Johnson vs. Dodson audience in the ancient Native American dance known as the “Iwannanothadrinka.” Photo via Combat Lifestyle.)

We’ve thrown the word “curse” around a lot here at CagePotato in the past year or so (as in “injury curse,” “cursed from birth,” and “curse you Dana for setting this up!”), but featherweight contender Chad Mendes is one of the few fighters who might actually be able to stake a claim to that title. In his past three scheduled fights, all of his original opponents have pulled out due to a last minute injury, leaving Mendes to face off against late replacement opponents on two occasions and cancelling his fight altogether in the third. Then again, any curse that ends in you collecting two quick knockouts and upwards of eighty thousand dollars is a hell of a lot better than the festering boils and dead first born I’ve been stuck with.

Anyway, the last man to pull out of a fight with Mendes was none other than recently-converted featherweight Clay “N-Pray” [*rimshot*] Guida, who was replaced by Darren Elkins just as quickly as Darren Elkins was defeated by Chad Mendes when the two eventually met at UFC on FOX: Henderson vs. Diaz. According to Ariel Helwani, the UFC is considering rebooking Mendes vs. Guida for the August 31st-scheduled UFC 164 card, which will also feature the beginning of Brandon Vera’s second attempt to become the UFC’s first two-division champ when he returns to the heavyweight division to face…Ben Rothwell. Baby steps, folks.

Props to BabesofMMA.com for introducing us to Naomi Das, a veteran “Hexagon Girl” for EFC Africa who will be back in action at EFC Africa 20 on June 27th. Originally hailing from North Wales, Naomi currently resides in Johannesburg where she spends her time as a model, hostess, and bikini competitor when she’s not circling the cage. The half-Indian, half-English beauty has also been a brand-ambassador for Luxy lingerie, and a news-reader for Babe News Nework.

Check out more of our favorite Naomi Das photos in the gallery below, and get to know her better on Facebook and Twitter.

Previously: Hot Potato Gallery: EFC Africa Ring Girl Riana Roberts

(*crickets* / Photo via US Presswire)

Looks like getting picked up right away by the World Series of Fighting after recently being fired by the UFC did not take away any bitterness from our favorite President-threatening lightweight, Jacob Volkmann. This past February, Volkmann lost by submission for the second time in his last three fights and was subsequently released by the UFC.

The elfin warrior tells AboveAndBeyondMMA.com that he didn’t deserve to be cut and is now on a mission to expose what he sees as the UFC’s unfair treatment of fighters.

“Well, I didn’t realize there was that much politics in martial arts, especially in the UFC. That was kind of frustrating. It’s not who is the best; it’s more of a political kind of BS,” he said.

“I was released after a loss against Bobby Green, which I should’ve never lost. It was kind of a fluke loss, going into the fight sick. I lost and then after that, they cut me. I was 6-2 at lightweight and they still cut me.

“You’ve got to know the right person, have the right manager in there. And your style determines if you stay in, too. The guys that stand and bang are the ones who are still fighting for the UFC. The ones that take the fights to the ground and focus more on the technique on the ground, they’re not in there because apparently the fans don’t like that.”

(We assume that this is how Barnett’s contract negotiation went down.)

Although we might have jumped the gun when we noticed that Josh Barnett’s profile had been added to UFC.com some weeks back — which honestly, can you blame us? – it finally appears that the perennial top heavyweight IS in fact headed back to the UFC despite rejecting his initial contract. For serious this time (via MMAJunkie/USA Today):

USA TODAY Sports/MMAjunkie.com today confirmed with promotion officials that former UFC heavyweight champion Barnett has signed a new multi-fight deal with the promotion and is expected to make his return to the octagon later this year. An official announcement is expected soon. 

“The Warmaster” has not competed since effortlessly strangling out some dude at the final Strikeforce event, but his addition to the UFC’s apparently shallow heavyweight division will undoubtedly make for some fireworks. Who would you like to see Barnett face first, Potato Nation? Personally, I’d like to see him rematch Nandor Guelmino, the scary-looking sumbitch who if I recall correctly gave Barnett one hell of a fight at…what’s that? You say Nandor *is* the guy Barnett effortlessly tapped at the final Strikeforce event? Joe Silva, I don’t know how you pull it off, you magnificent “mean little f*cker.”

To celebrate Barnett’s sure-to-be-triumphant return, we’ve compiled the definitive collection of Warbringer songs (and the Bolt Thrower song after which Barnett is nicknamed) after the jump. If you don’t understand why, well then you just don’t know Josh Barnett.

(Image via addisonsportsmedia.com)

Bryan “Back of the Head” Caraway may have just been replaced as the world’s biggest villain to female MMA fighters. After Invicta FC CEO Shannon Knapp posted a Facebook message on Sunday warning the public about a predatory MMA manager who was using lies and intimidation to influence female fighters into signing with him, veteran fighter (and rumored TUF 18 castmember) Tara LaRosa outed him by name — Brett Atchley, president of Addison Sports Management and Media, who manages Zoila Gurgel and Fallon Fox among other clients.

The accusation inspired BloodyElbow’s Brett Brookhouse to do some deep digging about Atchley’s behavior, and if you have the time, you should read his first two reports here and here. In short, Atchley is accused of being a despicable scumbag by a wide range of female MMA fighters who have had the great displeasure of encountering him. Here are the highlights…

- According to LaRosa, Atchley stole sponsorship money from Maurice Smith, and was once caught on tape at a casino stealing money out of the purse of a woman he was dating, who happened to be the mother of one of Ivan Salaverry’s students. These incidents led to a falling out between Atchley and Salaverry. Atchley responded by sending Salaverry some rather impolite text messages, in which he promises to blackball all of the female fighters that train at Salaverry’s gym from competing for Invicta or Strikeforce.

- After LaRosa turned down Atchley’s offer to manage her, due to the fact that she was already managed by Monte Cox, Atchley physically accosted LaRosa twice during the weekend of Invicta 3:

(Hey, it could have been worse, right? / Photo via Getty Images)

In an effort to beef up a card that recently lost a title fight due to injury, the UFC has just added a heavyweight bout between Roy Nelson and Stipe Miocic to the main card of UFC 161 (June 15th, Winnipeg). It’s an unexpected booking, to say the least — and not just because it gives Nelson a speedy seven-week turnaround between fights.

“Big Country” is currently on the hottest streak of his UFC career, picking up his third-straight first-round knockout against Cheick Kongo at UFC 159 last month. Meanwhile, Miocic is a much lower-profile prospect, whose hype as an undefeated wrecking machine fell apart when he was TKO’d by Stefan Struve last September. In other words, the matchup is a bit of a step down for Nelson, who doesn’t have much to gain here other than the possibility of earning his fifth UFC Knockout of the Night bonus.

In addition, Miocic was already booked on the card against returning Australian banger Soa Palelei, who has knocked out his last eight opponents while competing in Australia. (See, now that matchup made sense.) But with UFC 161 in need of extra star power, Roy Nelson replaces Palelei, who will be sitting this event out unless he’s needed as an injury replacement. But don’t cry for Soa — he once stood up Danga for an interview, so he’s pretty much dead to us. What, you thought Dana White was only guy who could hold grudges?

In a related story, MMAJunkie reports that UFC officials are currently seeking a replacement opponent for Eddie Wineland, and if they can lock one down, UFC 161 will feature six fights on the pay-per-view card instead of the usual five. The current lineup is after the jump…

(Oh yeah, Rashad, we just went there.)

It has recently been announced that, following Renan Barao’s withdrawal from his scheduled interim title fight with Eddie Wineland — the battle between light heavyweight wrestlers Rashad Evans and Dan Henderson will now serve as the headliner for UFC 161. While this change would at first seem like a huge downgrade (hence the kneejerk reaction title) given both fighter’s underwhelming performances against Antonio Rogerio Nogueira and Lyoto Machida, respectively, it actually has all the makings for one hell of a fight. Perhaps even because of that fact.

The news was passed along by the UFC’s official twitter account earlier today. The fight is still scheduled for three rounds.

Evans has dropped two of his past three fights and is in need of a big win if he is to ever delay any more discussion of a potential (and likely dreadful) drop to middleweight. Henderson also finds his back somewhat against a wall, as the 42-year old’s stock has been decreasing ever since he was forced to pull out from his UFC 151 title fight with Jon Jones. Again, these may sound like criticisms, but in all reality, they only heighten the chance that these two veterans put on a show for the ages come June 15th.

As for the Jake Shields/Tyron Woodley fight that will likely be bumped up to the main card in light of this…

-J. Jones

No, really. She said that.

I won’t go into more than has been written on this site on the subject of Fallon Fox, the first openly transgender MMA fighter, who was born a man and then underwent (and continues to undergo) hormone treatments and surgery to change her sex, but you definitely need to watch the video above.

AXS TV Fights recently interviewed Fox. During that conversation, Fox was asked if she felt she had an advantage over her opponents in Women’s MMA who were, you know, born women. Fallon went further than saying that she and her opponents were equally matched — she assured that she was, in fact, at a disadvantage.

If I know anything about the CagePotato audience, you probably stopped reading right there, so I will see you and your outrage in the comments section.