Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

“No he did *not* just put his nuts on my neck.”

(Dana White, checking out Melvin Guillard‘s junk.)

With this new interview for the Baltimore Sun‘s MMA Insider blog, Melvin Guillard joins Quinton Jackson and Frank Shamrock in the ranks of fighters who can’t even fake sanity when speaking in public forums. Read on for the interview’s highlights, where Guillard switches back and forth between delusional and incredibly fucking delusional:

On his moral victory over Rich Clementi at UFC 79: “He didn’t take my heart. I took his heart before he got in the ring. He was scared to fight me before he got in the ring…when I see him again, I’m going to fight him again…I went home for New Years and the places he wants to go, he wasn’t even there. He knew I was going to be there looking for him. He never showed up anywhere. As long as he keeps hiding from me, running from me, I’m winning the war every day…he was holding on like a scared little bitch [during the fight]. He was holding on for dear life as if if he let me go, he knew he would lose the fight…When I do fight the next jiu-jitsu guy, I hope they have a prayer for him — I’m not going to be so nice anymore.”

On Clementi’s “Suck It” gesture after the fight: “He put his nuts on the back of my head. When I catch him, I’m going to kick him in his [expletive deleted] nuts…My dad always told me if a man spit on you or slapped you, [expletive deleted] kill him. And if he put his nuts on my head on national TV, I’m going to [expletive deleted] kill him, period…as I’m getting up, it’s like he kicked me in the back of the neck, and it pushed me back down a little bit. So, I’m like, ‘What the [expletive deleted]?’ And, I jump up like, ‘No, he did not just put his nuts on my neck.’ So, that’s why I went after him like I did.”

On popularity: “I got booed before the fight, I got booed after the fight, but I’m still one of the crowd favorites.”

On the origins of his psychological issues: “Nobody is ever going to stand in front of me and beat my ass. My mom did that all my life so those days are over with.”

On the importance of work: “Being suspended for eight months really hurt my pocket. You can put in the article [that] anybody [who] wants to donate to the Melvin Negro Fund, they can donate to that too because right now my pockets [are] hurting. Being suspended for eight months … I almost had to go work a regular job to survive. I don’t want to have that feeling again.”

On wishful thinking: “Well, I wanted to fight Roger Huerta [next], but they said he’s on vacation right now. So, that fight’s up in the air. Other than that, man, I don’t care. As long as they put me back in. I’d prefer to fight a few strikers for a while until I can get my jiu-jitsu game up.”

On staying committed: “Without fighting, I don’t know what I’d be doing … I’d rob a bank or some [expletive deleted]. I’d probably do something that desperate because there’s nothing else I want to do.”

Cagepotato Comments

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Decipher- January 14, 2008 at 2:11 am
Rob a bank ??? get ahold of urself man, send em packin back to the hood, and so we are clear dont talk so much crap and then just get pwned wit the girly tap.....TAP...dude!?! talk all that smack and tap ....really???? go to sleep
Eveboy- January 9, 2008 at 1:14 am
Wow get idiots like these out of the U.F.C. Quick! jesus he makes himself sound like a complete idiot
BIG CHRIS- January 8, 2008 at 6:11 pm
???? ALLEGED???? How could you miss it?? I think totaldb has a permanent drool of some kind....
Skeeter- January 8, 2008 at 5:51 pm
This foo is hella weak..