By far the wildest and bloodiest match of Saturday’s Ultimate Fighter 6 finale, John Koppenhaver and Jared Rollins’s three-round demolition derby was the people’s choice for fight of the night. Koppenhaver dominated from the top position in the first round, but took a truly nasty barrage of elbows to the head in the process. With both fighters leaking blood, Rollins took control in the second frame, raining down punishment from above, pressuring War Machine with choke attempts, and coming very close to a TKO-by-strikes victory. And then this happened:

Any other referee would have stopped the fight at the 3:33 mark. Luckily for John Koppenhaver, Steve Mazzagatti is a sadistic maniac.

Apologies for our utter lack of attention to the results of Saturday’s K-1 World Grand Prix 07 Final tournament, but now that the Hong Man Choi/Fedor Emelianenko rumors are swirling again (read on after the jump), something needs to be said.

First things first: Surprising few, Hong Man Choi lost in the quarterfinal match to French kickboxing star Jerome LeBanner, who succumbed to a leg injury in the semi-final round to Semmy Schilt (the eventual tournament-winner). The matchups went down like this:

QUARTERFINALS
Jerome LeBanner def. Hong Man Choi (unan. dec.)
Semmy Schilt def. Glaube Feitosa (unan. dec.)
Remy Bonjasky def. Badr Hari (majority dec.)
Peter Aerts def. Junichi Sawayashiki (KO, round 1)

SEMI-FINALS
Semmy Schilt def. Jerome LeBanner (corner stoppage, round 2)
Peter Aerts def. Remy Bonjasky (unan. dec)

FINAL MATCH
Semmy Schilt def. Peter Aerts (KO, round 1)

A detailed recap of the night’s events can be found at MMA Weekly, who made the following observation:

Schilt’s victory continues a Dutch domination of K-1 that is nothing short of astounding. The three Dutch fighters in tonight’s WGP Final all won their quarterfinals, and were only eliminated by fellow Dutchmen; the K-1 WGP Champion has been a Dutchman for the last six years; and in K-1′s 15-year history, a Dutch fighter has won the WGP 12 times.

Well sure, it’s like I’ve always said: “If you ain’t Dutch, you ain’t much.”

Anyway, back to our boy Hong…

Our homies at Complex just gave us the heads-up about their new photo shoot and interview with former Octagon Girl and current UFC All Access host Rachelle Leah. To see more pics from the shoot — and to find out where Rachelle would take a punch if she absolutely had to — click here. Or, feel free to gawk at some of our all-time favorite pics of Ms. Leah after the jump…

“I was hurt. He rocked me, man. I was slightly knocked out but I knew what was going on. I just heard this ringing, and it was the weirdest thing, all I saw was all this hair, I didn’t know if it was a human being or a lion attacking me, then after about 10 seconds I was like ‘Hey Clay’ and it was back on.” — Roger Huerta, to Yahoo! Sports

Forget all this “interim” bullshit — according to an article posted yesterday night on UFC.com, BJ Penn and Joe Stevenson will fight for the true, undisputed lightweight championship at UFC 80: Rapid Fire on January 19th. Before the Ultimate Fighter 6 finale on Saturday, UFC officials confirmed that Sean Sherk had been stripped of the lightweight title after his suspension for steroid use was upheld (sort of) by the California State Athletic Commission. Says Dana White: “I have nothing but respect for Sean Sherk and I believe he’s been honest throughout this whole process. But BJ Penn and Joe Stevenson will be fighting for the lightweight title at UFC 80 on January 19th and Sean Sherk will fight the winner for the title.”

Penn’s fight against Stevenson will be his third attempt at securing the UFC’s lightweight belt, and fifth title fight overall; he was briefly the UFC’s welterweight champion after defeating Matt Hughes at UFC 46 (1/31/04). UFC 80 represents the first title shot for Stevenson, who has been fighting professionally since he was 16. Though initial reports suggested that “Rapid Fire” — which is being held in Newcastle, England — might be presented to American audiences as a taped prime-time special on CBS, Fightlinker.com is now floating a rumor that the first UFC/CBS collabo will actually be UFC 81. So if you plan on watching the Penn/Stevenson bout next month, be prepared to roll out of bed at the ungodly hour of 12 p.m. PT/3 p.m. ET and start your Saturday with a steaming bowl of bloodshed.

Potent — a new documentary about MMA co-produced by Bas Rutten — is now available for purchase at PotentTheMovie.com. Peep the trailer below; though the film’s angle seems to be that MMA is an arduous though ultimately rewarding way to make a living, it could probably use some gritty Smashing Machine-style pathos to appeal to a broader audience. Or, at the very least, a few crowd-pleasing kicks to the groin…

Looks like somebody didn’t read our list. According to a press release, Bob Sapp will make his “highly-anticipated” return to MMA competition when he headlines “Strikeforce at the Dome” in Tacoma, WA, on February 23. Sapp’s opponent will be named shortly.

Arguably the world’s worst pound-for-pound mixed martial artist active today, Bob Sapp’s career highlights in the past two years include:

— Agreeing to headline a May 2006 K-1 event in Holland against Ernesto Hoost, and then backing out halfway through the show.

— Agreeing to fight Gary Turner at Cage Rage 21 in February of this year, then backing out a few days before the fight was scheduled to go down.

— Cracking up Jay Leno with his impression of Billy Bob Thornton in Sling Blade.

— Defeating “Hard Gay” at a HUSTLE Pro Wrestling event on November 4.

— Eating hoagies?

Best of luck to Strikeforce and Ticketmaster in dealing with all of the refund demands that will result from Sapp’s upcoming non-appearance. The people of Tacoma deserve nothing but the best from your respective customer service departments.

So, Mac Danzig proved a few things at Saturday’s Ultimate Fighter 6 finale: 1) I should really stop making public predictions. 2) Experience trumps raw power. 3) With his killer ground-and-pound and the ability to end nearly every fight in a rear naked choke, Danzig may already be a top-5 contender in the UFC’s lightweight division. The UFC is pretty aggressive about pulling their vids from YouTube, so get it while it’s hot…

On Sunday, the Green Bay Packers took the field for the first time since losing to the Dallas Cowboys. But their Saturday night had them as giddy as a bunch of schoolgirls. Why, one might ask? Jay Glazer of Fox Sports reports that the Pack was paid a pre-game visit by none other than Randy Couture. Rumor has it that ageless wonder Brett Favre is a huge fan and coach Mike McCarthy also felt the Cheeseheads needed a pep talk from someone who knows how to fight through pain.

After playing clips of The Natural’s greatest hits, during which the Packers cheered like high school boys watching the American Pie movies, Coach McCarthy brought in Couture for a pep talk. Glazer writes:

The highlight of the talk came when young, brash defensive back Frank Walker got up and said there was a linebacker in the room named Brady Poppinga who was much bigger than him and stronger than him and continually picking on him. Was there anyway Couture could knock him around a bit?

The room exploded in laughter.

“Hilarious,” said McCarthy. “Only Frank Walker. Classic.”

May you rest in peace, Brady Poppinga.

Aside from movies and TV, Randy might even have a third career in motivational speaking. He was to spend four days in Green Bay, which is 3 1/2 days too long for anyone who has been to Green Bay. He lunched with Favre on Saturday, during which the two discussed aging like a fine wine while still kicking ass. The Packers went on to beat the Oakland Raiders 38-7 on Sunday. The Raiders must have been given a pre-game pep talk by Richie Hightower.
-Kipp Tribble

So how much cheddar is Dana White making exactly? Enough to warrant an hour-long documentary. Check out this press release that just landed in our inbox…

AN ORIGINAL DOCUMENTARY TAKES A BEHIND-THE-SCENES LOOK AT THE BUSINESS BEHIND THE NATION’S FASTEST-GROWING SPORT

One-Hour Special Reported by CNBC’s Scott Wapner to Premiere on Thursday, December 13th at 10PM & 1AM ET on CNBC

ENGLEWOOD CLIFFS, N.J., December 10, 2007-In an unprecedented event, CNBC, First in Business Worldwide, takes a no-holds barred look at the business behind the nation’s fastest growing sports franchise: Ultimate Fighting. On Thursday, December 13th at 10PM & 1AM ET, CNBC presents an original one-hour documentary, “Ultimate Fighting: From Blood Sport to Big Time,” reported by CNBC’s Scott Wapner.

With unusual access, the program tells the story behind the rise of the Ultimate Fighting Championship as both a business and cultural phenomenon. From its controversial beginnings to its mainstream acceptance and millions of dollars in ticket sales, the UFC is making money hand over fist.

This holiday season I am thankful for friends with real jobs, nice apartments, four-foot HDTV’s, and pay-per view. Aside from TUF’s finale, there was a quaint little boxing match between the infinitely humble Floyd Mayweather and Bedazzled British brawler-slash-sequin-model Ricky Hatton. Pretty much everybody I talked with wanted to see Floyd shitting his teeth out by the 6th round. But he fought a great match, paced himself, and proved that he is (unfortunately) the best. I know, this is an MMA blog. But we have to admit that the sports coincide. Here’s some topical analysis from Bloody Elbow.

MMA is vying for the space that boxing has occupied for years. The popularity of TUF proves that it’s only going to be more and more mainstreamed. Rumors have even popped up that CBS might be airing UFC81.

In other news, don’t forget that Versus is taking time out of their stellar line up to give us this one. Should be good. I envison a future where the popularity of MMA yields to a sport that involves clones of Randy Couture in unarmed combat against 1500 pound amphetamine-fueled bulls. Ultimate Bull Fighting Championships. We’re going to copyright that.

Bas Rutten had been away from fighting for over seven years when he stepped back into the cage with Ruben “Warpath” Villareal on 7/22/2006 at WFA – King of the Streets. Always a great kicker, Bas took over two minutes before he finally unloaded his tree trunk of a leg. Before that, he methodically circles Warpath and lands an array of well-placed and jarring shots to his victim’s face make-up. Bas could have flown in and crushed Warpath with brute strength, but instead used a lumberjack technique: keep chopping away at the base and eventually the tree will fall. Warpath tries to limp his way back into contention but Bas isn’t having it. The last kick sends the chubby giant to his knees where he’s in so much pain he can barely tap out. And we’d all like to thank Kevin James for showing up.

Dana White blew his load a little early over the weekend. Before his “big announcement” today, he let it slip at the end of The Ultimate Fighter 6 Finale that Forrest Griffin will be one of the coaches on The Ultimate Fighter 7. He also teased that he had “big plans” for UFC Light Heavyweight Champion, Quinton “Rampage” Jackson in the new year, leaving us to conclude that he’d be the other coach.

White also noted that the two coaches will fight each another when the TUF 7 series is completed. Shooting begins in January and will likely debut on SpikeTV in April 08. It will feature 16 up-and-coming Middleweight (185 pounds) fighters.

Although Rampage and Griffin are 205 pounds, they should have any problem coaching the middleweight contenders. At the very least, The Ultimate Fighter will get a shot of personality that it so desperately needs, and hopefully another chance to fill the void in the Middleweight division.

Hey CagePotato fans, this is Greg Clark from MMA Fever, I’ll be filling in for Ben as he recovers from his breast-reduction surgery, so let’s dive into The Ultimate Fighter 6 Finale shall we…

Ben Saunders vs. Dan Barrera

The first fight of the Spike TV televised card set the tone for the rest of the night: Brutal, nasty, and damn entertaining.

Saunders defeated Barrera in Episode 6 by majority decision, so this bout was a true grudge match for both fighters to showcase their talent to the UFC and its fans.

Ben Saunders started round 1 demonstrating his superior striking skills, complemented by his leg kicks from his 6’3″ frame that connected on Barrera at will.  The fight was filled with back-and-forth action, but Barrera, who had been coached by Matt Hughes, showed that he was way out of his league against the Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu specialist when the fight went to the ground.

At one point, Saunders had Barrera’s back and put him in a body lock which set up the rear naked choke attempt.  As both fighters were dripping with sweat, Barrera was able to escape the bout ending submission.  Saunders stuffed Barrera’s takedowns easily which appeared to be the only weapon he had during the fight.  He also dominated on the ground and clearly won rounds 1, 2 and 3 for the unanimous decision victory against the battle worn Barrera.

Ben Saunders def. Dan Barrera via unanimous decision

Next up: Rogan’s Matt Hughes interview

First, the good news:

The “Yarennoka!” New Year’s Eve event that will feature Fedor Emelianenko will be shown live on HDNet. The all-high-definition cable channel already had a stacked month of MMA scheduled, with live broadcasts of HDNet Fights: Reckless Abandon on 12/15 and the IFL 2007 World Grand Prix Finals on 12/29, and the landing of Fedor Emelianenko in his first match since April is a huge coup.

“This announcement reinforces our commitment to becoming the home for live MMA action,” said HDNet owner Mark Cuban. “No one else but HDNet will have the return of Fedor live from Japan.”

Now, the bad news: Emelianenko’s opponent has not yet been named. Hong Man Choi competes at the K-1 World Grand Prix Final tournament this Saturday, and with a first-round draw of Jerome Le Banner, he could be in no condition to fight again just three weeks later. Later rumors named Josh Barnett as Fedor’s opponent, but his participation hasn’t been locked down yet either. So, kind of a gamble for HDNet — the possibility of Fedor fighting a random last-minute replacement could make for a supremely disappointing night that could negatively affect MMA fans’ opinion of the channel. But honestly, who the hell would fight Fedor Emelianenko on such short notice? Bo Cantrell? It should be noted that heavyweights Mark Hunt and Aleksander Emelianenko are also scheduled to fight at Yarennoka!, but currently lack opponents. I say throw the three of them in a cage together and see who’s the last man standing. Obviously, the Emelianenko brothers would table-top Hunt, pound him out, then agree on a draw, but hey, if you can think of a better main event I’m all ears.

For all the attention we’ve been giving to the Danzig/Speer matchup at Saturday’s TUF Finale, we haven’t shown much love to the Roger Huerta (19-1-1, 5-0 UFC) vs. Clay Guida (22-8-0, 2-2 UFC) lightweight bout that’s actually headlining the card. Many fans have been questioning Huerta’s impressive record, arguing that the UFC has given him easy matchups to protect its Hispanic poster-boy. But as tough as Clay Guida is, he has trouble finishing fights, and it’s not like he’s been tested by the best either; he’s certainly lost to talented fighters, but he hasn’t really beaten any. Personally, I think the Guida love among fans is a little unwarranted (maybe they just want to see him destroy something beautiful). I’m going to pick Huerta in a unanimous decision. But hey, feel free to come to your own conclusions. You can start by watching this clip from the UFC 79 press conference, then Huerta and Guida’s most recent fights…

(Roger Huerta vs. Alberto Crane, UFC 74, 8/25/07)

Click here to download Clay Guida/Marcus Aurelio at UFC 74 (221 MB), courtesy of MMALinker.

Sorry ladies — he’s married!

Following in the footsteps of past Ultimate Fighter finalists like Rashad Evans, Joe Stevenson, and Diego Sanchez, Mac Danzig plans to drop down in weight class after Saturday’s TUF finale — no matter what the outcome of his fight against Tommy Speer. As he says in a profile on UFC.com:

“I decided that before I even went on the show. I really have no business fighting the top five guys at 170, or even the top ten when it comes down to it. It’s not that I can’t beat them, but if you put me in with Matt Hughes or Georges St-Pierre ten times, I’m gonna win a number of those times, but realistically, with all skills being the same, those guys are extremely skilled and much bigger than me. I walk around at 170, those guys walk around at 190, so it’s not a good idea for me. I really want to make a run for a title, and 155 is my weight class. I feel that within a couple of years I can be a world champion at 155.”

Danzig has shown tremendous balls in moving up from from his natural weight to compete on The Ultimate Fighter — and for saying that he could beat Matt Hughes on a good day — and dropping down to lightweight is clearly the right move for his career. But God damn, the UFC really needs to put the brakes on this tradition of finalists dropping down in weight as soon as the show ends. The second season of TUF was partly intended to inject fresh blood into the heavyweight division; of the two finalists, one (Rashad Evans) immediately dropped down to light-heavyweight and the other (Brad Imes) doesn’t even compete in the UFC anymore. The next season of the show will feature middleweights in an attempt to get some new names in the hat for the UFC’s second-weakest division, but the finalists could easily drop down to 170 pounds afterwards, adding to the welterweight division’s gridlock. Many suggestions have been offered to aid The Ultimate Fighter‘s sinking ratings — would it hurt to have the competitors sign an agreement stating that the weight class they competed at on the show is the one they’ll stay at for the length of their initial UFC contract? At this point, I feel that anything that would make the seasons’ results matter more in the long run could help maintain the interest of fans, who are jumping the TUF ship in droves due to its predictability.

Thoughts?

In a press release distributed yesterday, EliteXC announced that it had granted long-term contract extensions to Murilo “Ninja” Rua (who defeated Xavier Foupa-Pokam at Cage Rage last Saturday) and Antonio “Big Foot” Silva, a former super-heavyweight who dropped from 300 pounds to 265 in order to fight (and submit) Jonathan Wiezorek at last month’s “Renegade” event. EliteXC live events prez Gary Shaw seemed particularly confident about Big Foot’s abilities:

“I believe Silva is the No. 1 heavyweight in the world which is why I wanted to make sure he stayed with us. If there is a UFC heavyweight or, for that matter, any heavyweight out there that feels they are the best then lets make a match. We can do the fight in an Octagon, in the EliteXC cage or any venue. I truly believe ‘Big Foot’ will kick any heavyweight’s butt and look forward to giving him the opportunity to do it.’’

Wow…that is rich. I’m not sure who Silva has defeated to be considered “No. 1 heavyweight in the world” — his most notable wins were over Wesley “Cabbage” Correira and Ruben “Warpath” Villareal, both of whom could have been included in Wednesday’s list — but setting aside the utter outlandishness of Gary Shaw’s claim, there’s no reason EliteXC should be looking outside of its ranks for challengers. That’s what you do when all other contenders have been smashed, not when your guy is on a two-fight win streak and Kimbo Slice is sitting on his hands waiting for someone who can remain upright for more than 90 seconds against him. Silva vs. Slice — that’s the announcement that EliteXC should be making now. If Big Foot can win that fight, then maybe he can be mentioned in the same breath as these guys. Until then, he’s just another Silva…

Mac Danzig was already a fully-formed competitor by the time he stepped into the ring at King of the Cage: Shock and Awe (10/1/05). Riding a six-fight win streak (which would eventually become a 12-fight win streak), the future KOTC lightweight champ uses his flawless technique to take apart opponent Frank Kirmse. When it’s over, he climbs to his feet and shrugs, seemingly without a scratch or even a drop of sweat on his forehead — a sign of things to come for the castmembers of The Ultimate Fighter 6.

Model/party-host Patrycja Mikula visited Jarry Park today to chat about MMA and her relationship with BF Andre Arlovski, and to answer accusations that she’s a distraction for the Pitbull. According to her, she isn’t. In fact, she’s completely supportive, even going as far as cooking and cleaning for him.

Damn, Andre’s a lucky man. You’ve haven’t experienced true joy until you’ve had a Polish lady clean for you…

According to an interview on The Fight Network, Brandon Vera has decided to stay at heavyweight, despite Joe Silva’s advice to drop down to light-heavy after his loss to Tim Sylvia at UFC 77:

“I was like, ‘For what? I ain’t moving nowhere,’” Vera said. “Why the hell would I even think of moving [down]? I have a whole bunch of stuff to do still. I’ve got to beat Tim. I’m not going to let that one go. Our paths will cross again, I promise…To me, that wasn’t even a loss. I didn’t catch an ass whoopin’. I didn’t get beat down.”

Vera suffered a broken hand during the fight that affected him in the clinch, and required a four-hour operation and three screws to repair. He has five fights left on his UFC contract, and will be ready to fight again as early as mid-April.

Personally, I’d stay at heavyweight too if I were Vera. The UFC’s heavyweight division is an all-inclusive resort compared to the grinder known as the 205-pound division. Unless Brock Lesnar can bring in the Undertaker and The Big Show to thicken up the weight class, Vera is top ten just by showing up, and he never has to worry about shedding his love-handles. Must be nice!

(Source: MMA Fighting via Break.com)

The lovesick ex-Ultimate Fighter contestant — and best man at Matt Serra’s wedding — is opening his own Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu academy. Also, him and Serra are still tight. Just thought you’d like to know…

How quickly the game changes. Despite all his efforts in reminding his team to breathe, Matt Serra’s two remaining fighters were eliminated on last night’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter. As Matt Serra himself might say, “Ouch!” Let’s take it from the top…

The episode opens tragically, with Matt Arroyo suffering a rib injury while practicing with Richie useless motherfucking Hightower. He tries to work through it, but the pain convinces him to see the doctor; the prognosis is a small crack in the rib and deep bruising. The doctor doesn’t actually forbid him from fighting, but Arroyo knows that he wouldn’t be able to get through two rounds against Mac Danzig in the shape he’s in, so he takes himself out of the competition. Dana White, who has maybe never fought with a broken rib before, pressures Arroyo into fighting hurt (“words cannot fuckin’ describe what you’re giving up”), and basically calls him a filthy quitter, but Arroyo makes the right choice and stays sidelined, which means a replacement has to be found.

Dana and Matt Serra interview War Machine, Troy, and Richie to see if they’d step in against Mac. The guys want absolutely nothing to do with him. Richie is concerned about dropping 20 pounds in three days; I’m just as concerned that he apparently gained 20 pounds in three days. Anyway, as we all knew would happen, Smilin’ John Kolosci rolls in, pleads for the fight against Mac, and he gets it.

This doesn’t sit well at all with Mac, who looks nervous for the first time all season. “I beat this guy decisively, and he gets another chance to fight me, and if he beats me he’s in the finals?” he asks. Mac starts worrying about getting caught with a shot from Kolosci, who, as Mac points out, has by now “figured out what not to do” against him.

Then there’s this awful commercial for Wahl beard trimmers, co-starring Andre Arlovski:

You know that teleconference that “Big” John McCarthy is holding tomorrow? Let’s just say some of the suspense has been lost. Scoop-getter/thunder-stealer Kevin Iole at Yahoo! Sports has revealed that the 45-year-old ref is retiring after Saturday’s Ultimate Fighter finale, and is taking a job as an MMA analyst for The Fight Network. Stay tuned to find out if McCarthy’s decision to leave the UFC was spurred by a perceived lack of respect (a la Randy Couture) or if it was just about the money (a la Randy Couture).

I’m going to throw out a rumor now — you can take it or leave it. Dana White has been saying that the UFC is going to “shake things up” with the next season of The Ultimate Fighter, right? I’m thinkin’ sixteen referees living in a house, two coaches (Herb Dean and Steve Mazzagatti, obviously), and one six-figure contract. If you thought alcohol creates havoc when in the hands of young fighters, you haven’t seen what a pack of drunken refs can do. These guys love to drink. Upper-decking is how they normally use the toilet…

In honor of Ken-Flo’s upcoming debut in the announcer’s booth, here’s his most recent fight against Din Thomas at UFC Fight Night 11 (9/19/07), which was kind of a fiasco, actually. First, Florian nails Thomas with the hardest accidental groin kick I’ve ever seen. He was looking to break Thomas’s leg with that shot, and instead nailed him directly in the pills. Then, Mario Yamasaki does an awesome job of standing there with his thumb up his ass while Florian repeatedly pounds Thomas in the back of the head; at one point, Florian makes a gesture at Yamasaki as if to say, “Do you actually need to see the dude’s brains before you jump in?” But hey, all’s well that ends well.

— According to The Fight Network, veteran UFC ref “Big” John McCarthy will be making an “important announcement regarding his future” during a teleconference on Friday morning. John, please don’t walk away from the Octagon — now is the time when we need you the most.

— Tim Sylvia will be fighting at UFC 81, against a fighter who hasn’t been named yet. If the match isn’t against Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira for the vacant heavyweight title, UFC 81 would be the fourth-consecutive pay-per-view UFC event without a championship fight.

— Sean Sherk won’t fight in the state of California ever again. BJ Penn won’t fight Sean Sherk anywhere.

— Matt Serra will be hosting a viewing party for UFC 79 at Madison Square Garden. UFC fan club members can purchase tickets starting tomorrow, UFC.com newsletter subscribers can buy ‘em starting Friday (with the pre-sale password “SERRA”), and the general public can pick up what’s left on Sunday. The price is $30 for a general admission ticket, or $25 if you order before 12/22 — a small price to pay for the opportunity to start chants of “BRIDGE AND TUNNEL!” as soon as Serra shows up to sign autographs. With MMA competitions banned in New York state, watching a jumbotron surrounded by drunk meatheads is as good as it gets!

Choi Hong Man on Tunnels no Minasan no Okage Deshita:

By CagePotato.com contributor Kipp Tribble

10. Dan Severn (80-15-7)

Yes, he’s a UFC Hall-of-Famer who still racks up wins in smaller organizations. He’s also 53 goddamned years old. That has to be retirement age for a mixed martial artist. At this point in his life, he should be sipping Metamucil coladas and yelling at kids to get off of his lawn, not rolling on the mat with guys half his age. But we’ll vote to let “The Beast” stick around for at least one more match to see if he can maintain bladder control when socked in the gut.

9. Elvis Sinosic (8-11-2)

His retarded nickname is bad enough; his consistent mediocrity is absolutely inexcusable. Let’s start with the fact that he just got knocked out at Cage Rage by Paul Cahoon — a fighter playing .500 ball himself — in a mere 21 seconds. Well played, King, well played. While he may still have some fights left in him, we’d rather not risk having to yawn through another of his sleepwalk matches. Go back to Australia and rock ‘n rumble with the ‘roos, Elvis. They’ll probably take longer than 21 seconds to knock your middling ass out.

8. Nick Diaz (15-7, 1 NC)

Nick gets a spot on the list not for his positive marijuana test or terminated UFC contracts, but for his volcanic eye sockets. By now, the guy isn’t able to make it through one round without his eyelids shredding, the result of a rare condition also known as “shitty defense that causes your fragile face to get punched in.” We felt his pain when the doctor stopped his fight against K.J. Noons at EliteXC: Renegade, but unless he’s allowed to step into the ring wearing safety goggles, Little Nicky’s gotta go.

Quote of the day, from 15Rounds.com via MMA Mania:

What do you think about Fedor Emelianenko’s choice not to fight in the UFC?
WS: He’s crazy. I don’t know why the guy doesn’t want to fight here. These are the best events. This is the biggest promotion. The guy could be a symbol here. He could have money for the rest of his life. He could do well with the promotion, with sponsors, with commercials, and many other possibilities…He needs to come to the UFC.

Silva went on to say, “Dana White is an intelligent, virile, beautiful man who definitely does not keep me in a cage at night and beat me with hoses. Well, sometimes he beats me with hoses, but they’re thin hoses, and it’s only because I’m so clumsy and ungrateful.”

But seriously, you should read the rest of the interview, in which Wandy gives major props to Forrest Griffin and addresses the rumor that he could be a coach on the next season of The Ultimate Fighter:

I’d love to coach or even be a fighter on it. What I think they should [do] some day is have a program with major professional fighters. For me, I’d want to do it. It’s a great show.

Having pro fighters compete on The Ultimate Fighter is a fantastic idea, but it might be a little tough to pull off. For now, I think the UFC should just hold a one-off TUF special where Silva fights Richie Hightower to the death. Winner gets a Xyience sponsorship!