Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

January, 2008

Week in Review: Hog Huntin’


The hype of Brock Lesnar washed over us like a dark, awesome wave.

— We ranked the members of the legendary Gracie family in order of importance.

— You bastards went all-out in the first Chuck Liddell caption contest, and three people won autographed copies of Chuck’s new book. Come back Monday and at least two more signed books will be up for grabs.

Details started to leak about The Ultimate Fighter 7.

— We never thought we’d write the phrase “pit fighting” again, but here we are.

— We took our Power Rankings to the next level.

The gory image of a post-fight Joe Stevenson compelled the Potato Nation to dispute the specific legalities of inserting fingers into orifices.

— What we do in life echoes in eternity. Also, a bunch of losers share a very ironic nickname.

— At the time of this posting, 39% of you think Frank Mir will beat Brock Lesnar by submission, while 38% of you think Brock Lesnar will beat Frank Mir by TKO/KO. We shall see, won’t we…


‘Breaking Point’ Weigh-Ins, Livebloggin’, and More

(“Ladies and gentlemen…I’m just a caveman. I fell on some ice and later got thawed out by some of your scientists. Your strange weight-measurement machine frightens and confuses me! My primitive mind can’t grasp these concepts. But there is one thing I do know — those girls behind me have glorious racks.”)

Alright settle down, settle down:

— Weigh-ins for UFC 81 go down today at 4pm PT / 7pm ET, and will be broadcast live from the Mandalay Bay Events Center on

— More importantly, we will be liveblogging UFC 81 tomorrow starting at 7pm PT / 10pm ET. Readers who have experienced our previous liveblogs know that it’s the best party on the Internet. Especially if you’re too cheap to pay for the event.

— In other UFC news, Michael Bisping has confirmed that his first fight as a middleweight will be against Charles McCarthy at UFC 83 in Montreal on April 19th. Dana White predicts that 83 will be “the biggest UFC event ever.”

— And: FiveOuncesofPain reports that a match between lightweights Frankie Edgar and Gray Maynard has been added to the talent-bloated Ultimate Fight Night 13 (Broomfield, CO; 4/2). Man, they should really break that card up into two back-to-back nights. Especially if they expect us to watch 16 non-stop fights directly afterwards. Our minds need time to recover…


Fight of the Day: Mauricio “Shogun” Rua vs. Alistair Overeem

Chuck Liddell is now saying that his next fight could be against Shogun in June — which would be a hell of a lot more interesting than Jardine. Since we haven’t featured Rua on F.o.t.D. lately, here’s his match with Alistair Overeem at PRIDE 33 (2/24/07). Though Overeem dominated early with his striking, Rua eventually got the Demolition Man on his back and punished him with strikes from the top. The fight starts at the 5:14 mark:

UPDATE: The Liddell/Rua fight is official. Nice! Judging from their last fights, the Iceman will smoke Shogun like a pork shoulder


Action-Packed MMA Weekend: The Non-UFC Version

(The Nogueira brothers: Like lookin’ in a mirror.)

Lots of MMA action this weekend and we’re not just talking about UFC: 81 Breaking Point. Let’s start with tonight.

Hardcore Championship Fighting: Destiny
Tonight’s event features Antonio Rogerio Nogueira against Todd Gouwenberg, a 7-2 journeyman who is riding a four fight win streak. The event will air on The Score, a not-so-high-profile Canadian sports network. Should be an adjustment for “Little Nog” since he’s been used to fighting under some pretty bright lights. The Western Canadian organization is fighting for recognition and Rogerio was a great score, but someone like Gouwenberg is not the type of talent he should have to step down to fight. Also on the HCF card are some other fighters you’ll recognize – and some you’ve never heard of:

-Evangelista “Cyborg” Santos v Gegard Mousasi
-Thomas Schulte v Garett Davis
-David Loiseau v Jason Day
-Brendan Seguin v Derrick Noble
-Damir Mirenic v Mike Pyle
-Andrew Buckland v Dan Chambers
-Myles Merola v Ariel Sexton
-Tim Hague v Miodrag Petkovic
-Nabil Khatib v Lucas Rota
-Fabian Cortez v Juan Barrantes

BodogFIGHT: Nick Thompson vs. John Troyer
The main event tonight will feature Nick “The Goat” Thompson vs. John Troyer, hence the title. This one goes down in Vegas and will see Troyer in the biggest fight of his young career. This welterweight title fight is also notable because it will apparently be The Goat’s last bout for BodogFIGHT. Losing a character like Nick Thompson will certainly be a blow to Bodog, especially for an organization that is already hurting for fans.


Chuck Liddell Caption Contest #1: Results Are In!


It’s hard to express the love we have for you all right now. When we posted our first Chuck Liddell caption contest on Monday, we thought we’d be lucky if we got a couple dozen entries. Well, you guys must really want those signed Iceman: My Fighting Life books, because the contest brought in 100 captions before today’s deadline, and almost all of them were LOL-funny. Seriously, you guys kicked ass, and we had a great time reading your one-liners. In fact, we’re going to give out three autographed books today instead of the two we were originally planning on parting with. This was a very difficult decision, but…

Than: “Yeah, my buddy Tim is outside, he’s down for a gang bang, but be warned his championship belt is gonna bruise you.”
[Ed. note: Oh! It's so topical!]

Colin G: “Hey baby, did you read my book? …… Me neither”
[Ed. note: Good pickup line...great ghost-writer. Jokes aside, our contact at Dutton has assured us that Chuck has read every page of his book — and he loves it!]

Brad: “People say that I don’t train hard anymore, but they have no idea how hard you have to work to get laid with this haircut”
[Ed. note: ...and in just 25 words, Brad has summarized the entire essence of Chuck Liddell.]

Toolman: Chuck: Man…uhhh i tellya’s eh um. yeah dude…for real. i was like… know whut i’m sayin.
[Ed. note: That probably comes closest to what Chuck was actually saying at the time.]

KLovick Says: What has one thumb and wants to replace your cigarette with his dick?………
[Ed. note: Clever.]

MMA-hole: “Nikki — my Range Rover, 15 minutes. Andre — the bathroom, now.”
[Ed. note: The idea of a pansexual Chuck Liddell terrifies us.]

natureboy: Ultimate Fighter Chuck Liddell attempts to recruit a camera operator for a “3 Girls, 1 Chuck” internet video.
[Ed. note: We love "3 Girls, 1 Chuck." But shouldn't she be a co-star? I don't know if I'd relegate her to the crew...]

beast: Would you mind putting out the cigarette, maam? This is a no smoking area.
[Ed. note: "Plus, my tiny bald friend says you've been using his head as an ashtray."]

RawDawg: “Then I said ‘careful my thumb might be a little cold,’ then POW! Right in the pooper! — Oh hey babe.”
[Ed. note: "...I was just telling my friend about the time I stuck my thumb up your ass."]

Roark: “Sorry lady, I thought that was the belt Rampage took from me!”
[Ed. note: Damn, that is a big belt.]

sean: Iceman Brakes The Ice By Braking a Midgit.
[Ed. note: Lame pun + misspelling "break" twice and "midget" once = quadruple failure points.]

Than, Colin G, and Brad: Please drop a line to with your addresses and we’ll get the books out to you as soon as we can. As for the rest of you — we still have seven more autographed Iceman copies left to give away, so come back Monday and we’ll do this aaaaaaall over again.


UFC 81 Bonus Predictions: Five Figures of Death


Since it was such a success* last time, we thought we’d take another crack at predicting which fighters will pocket tomorrow‘s end-of-night bonuses. But first we’d like to predict the amount of the bonuses themselves. If you’ve been paying attention, you know that the UFC’s Fight/Submission/Knockout bonuses have decreased from $55,000 to $50,000 to $35,000 over the last three pay-per-view events. After the last drastic reduction, the general opinion was that the amounts were going down to recoup some of the money lost to the UFC’s European expansion effort. Now that the show is back in the U.S., they can be a little more generous. And they will — but just enough to demonstrate improvement and shut people up. We’re saying the bonuses will be $40k each. Now let’s get to the fight card:

Tim Sylvia vs. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira (heavyweights)
Frank Mir vs. Brock Lesnar (heavyweights)
Jeremy Horn vs. Nate Marquardt (middleweights)
Rob Yundt vs. Ricardo Almeida (middleweights)

Gleison Tibau vs. Tyson Griffin (lightweights)
Chris Lytle vs. Kyle Bradley (welterweights)
Marvin Eastman vs. Terry Martin (middleweights)
David Heath vs. Tim Boetsch (light heavyweights)
Keita Nakamura vs. Rob Emerson (welterweights)

Knockout of the Night: Eastman vs. Martin is a battle between two good fighters who have had terrible luck in the Octagon. The winner will prove that he still belongs there; the loser could very well be banished forever. Thus, we expect both men to come out swinging their asses off. We were tempted to give this a Fight of the Night nod, but it feels too much like a first-round-TKO kind of match. Marvin Eastman has been knocked out every time he’s fought in the UFC. Four of Terry Martin’s last five fights have resulted in KO/TKO victories — and we think he’ll do it again tomorrow night, picking up the bonus in the process. Dark horse: Kyle Bradley. If you want to talk about good fighters who have had rough times in the Octagon, Chris Lytle is Exhibit fucking A (34-15-4 MMA record, 3-7 in the UFC). There’s nothing to suggest that his fortunes will improve at “Breaking Point,” and his opponent Kyle Bradley is a guy who has been paying his dues in regional promotions as a knockout artist. His current seven-fight win-streak includes five first-round KO/TKOs, and he could be on his way to adding one more.


Morning Beatdown: When Brock Met Min

Yeah, you’re probably sick of this one by now. But we thought we’d run it One! More! Time! as we enter the home stretch to Lesnar’s UFC debut tomorrow against Frank Mir. Lesnar’s opponent at K-1 Dynamite USA (6/2/07) was an overfed can whose most notable fights were losses against Bob Sapp and Don Frye. And what did we learn? Brock has no time for the customary pre-fight fist-bump. Yes, that’s ex-WWE superstar Bill Goldberg freaking the fuck out when his homeboy scores his first MMA win.

And sure, why not — here’s the video of Frank Mir breaking Tim Sylvia’s arm.


UFC 81: Party Time!

(It’s his party, and he’ll cry if he wants to!)

The usual UFC event parties hosted by fighters are being planned, one for tonight and another for Saturday when UFC 81 blows up in Vegas. Of course, you actually have to be in Vegas to join in the merriment.

Joe Daddy Stevenson – who fought at UFC 80, losing to BJ Penn – will be the man of the hour this evening at TAO, which is in the Venetian. On Da Strip, no less. It is open to the public and Joe Daddy will be there signing autographs with his blood and posing for pics starting at 10 p.m. (PST). Luckily, you’ll have two days to get rid of the hangover before the next par-tee.

On Saturday, Frank Mir will host a post UFC 81 party at Rum Jungle, which is in the Mandalay Bay. How convenient since that is where he will be fighting Brock Lesnar. This will be the party to be at since a lot of fighters and MMA execs usually attend the closest after-party. It’s being sponsored by Xyience Warrior Wear and MMA Warehouse. If you have trouble finding Rum Jungle, just follow the pieces of the penis tattoo that Frank Mir ripped off of Lesnar during the fight.

If trying to find Joe Daddy’s party, follow the blood trail.


“Pee Wee” Herman in at Street Certified; Kimbo’s New Video Here

Looks like Dave “Pee Wee” Herman is being added to the EliteXC February 16th card. The heavyweight is 9-0 and will be fighting Seth Petruzelli – yes, the same Petruzelli from TUF 2. Petruzelli is 9-4. The two heavyweight fighters will square off in Miami. This is the first in a multi-fight deal for “Pee Wee”.

Herman is a hot prospect and has knocked out six of his nine opponents and has never gone to the second round. He’s only been pro for about 13 months, so he obviously likes the cage. Petruzelli is 2-2 since TUF 2, both of those losses coming in the UFC.

Showtime will air the “Street Certified” event where the main event will see Kimbo attempting to rip that dumbass goatee right off of Tank Abbott’s face.

Here’s what things are looking like for the 16th:

Tank Abbott vs. Kimbo Slice
Ricco Rodriguez vs. Antonio Silva
Yves Edwards vs. Edson Berto
Dave Herman vs. Seth Petruzelli
Kyle Noke vs. Scott Smith
Brett Roges vs. James Thompson

In Kimbo’s latest video, he talks about his web mastering skills, making his johnson look big, and the guy is obsessed with beatin’ down Sean Gannon.


Brock Lesnar Mildly Regrets Cock-Sword Tattoo

He also talks about some other stuff, like his love of steak. But my goodness, if Lesnar can withstand the questions lobbed at him by these boring hacks, he can withstand just about anything. I got to the 4:41 mark before tapping out.

(Props: BloodyElbow)