(Easy come, easy go: Horwich and McGivern)

You’ve already read our blow-by-blow results of IFL’s rock ‘em sock ‘em season opener. Now, Ben Fowlkes gives his insider’s perspective on last night’s action. Read it and learn something.

I already knew Matt Horwich could take a punch, but I didn’t know until last night that he could take so many and remain so unfazed. Ryan McGivern hit Horwich with everything but a Zuffa lawsuit in their five-round fight. It made for a sharp contrast from the wrestling match that erupted the last time these two fought, and it proved that while both have come a long way, McGivern is improving at an almost frightening rate.

That’s not to say it was an easy night for McGivern, even if he did walk away with the title. I saw him backstage and his face had already turned several different colors, though he was so happy I don’t think he noticed. For those who were surprised to see McGivern win with his striking, perhaps this anecdote from Pat Miletich will clear it up.

Miletich said that during the training for this fight, they brought in a pro boxer to go a few rounds sparring with McGivern. After three rounds, the guy was done. McGivern had destroyed his ribs. So then a Muay Thai fighter got in there to help him finish up, but after a couple of rounds he was finished as well. Then, Miletich said, one of his guys “who holds a belt in another organization” got in against McGivern, and he also took a beating. No wonder McGivern is the new champ.

(Ryan “The Lion” Schultz G-n-P’s John Gunderson.)

Last night at the Orleans Arena in Vegas, 3,931 fans watched the IFL kick off its 2008 season with three title matches – lightweight, middleweight, and heavyweight – in addition to their camp-on-camp battles. Ryan “The Lion” Schultz, who won the lightweight title back in December when he beat the shit out of previously undefeated Chris Horodecki, retained his title by earning a unanimous decision over John Gunderson. “The Lion” claimed recently that Gunderson had been offered this fight many times, but had neglected to take it until now. The champ held a strong position through much of the fight – which was fought on the ground for the most part. Both Schultz and Gunderson had chances to end the fight with a choke early on, but neither could execute it.

Heavyweight Roy “Big Country” Nelson also successfully defended his belt by getting a TKO over Fabiano Scherner at 3:20 in the first round. “Big Country” has been improving his striking and this fight showed that as he unleashed a barrage of rights to get a stoppage.

(“Big Country” has a celebratory seizure.)

One title did switch hands and it happened the night before the ex-champ’s wedding, too. Matt Horwich put his middleweight title on the line against Ryan McGivern, which made for the best fight of the night. Horwich almost ended it via armbar in the second round, but the bell saved McGivern’s ass. Horwich almost went down himself in the fourth when McGivern drilled him with a flurry of strikes, but “The Fighting Hippy” held on. In the end, a unanimous decision gave the middleweight crown over to McGivern, ending a two month run as champ for Horwich. Hope he ices his face for the sake of the wedding pictures – he didn’t grow the mohawk out for nothing.

Strikeforce lightweight champ Gilbert Melendez…

…American Idol runner-up Justin Guarini…

…and Sideshow Bob.

(Rampage, Randy, Hendo, and Trigg at the day job.)

— On the BetUS Radio show, Damon and I debated which news story was bigger: Kimbo Slice on CBS or Spuds McKenzie on the center of the Octagon.

— Bob Sapp defended his crown as the worst pound-for-pound fighter in MMA history.

— Joe Riggs busted his back and played a piss-prank on a paraplegic.

— A simple, innocent video list on illegal knockouts turned into a total fucking fiasco. In retrospect, we should have replaced Huerta/Halvorsen with Herring/Nakao/”I’m not gay.” Commenter Matt Tatt sincerely hoped we die for publishing such an inaccurate feature. Sounds like my last editor!

— Taking a last-minute fight against Jon Fitch at a reduced pay rate? Chris Wilson is crazy like a fox.

— During our UFC 82 preview coverage, we explained why Anderson Silva is still going to be the champion on Sunday morning, wondered if Josh Koscheck’s Octagon days are numbered, and took wild guesses at who’ll be walking around with a little more spending money.

— We saluted MMA’s style pioneers.

— Bill Goldberg currently leads Mike Goldberg 62% to 38% in our current poll on which Goldberg should never be allowed near a microphone again.

Don’t forget to watch the IFL’s season opener tonight, and come back here tomorrow night at 10 p.m. for our rip-roarin’ UFC 82 liveblog. Our prediction? PAIN.

EliteXC signs with CBS. The UFC signs with Budwesier. And CagePotato.com makes its first appearance on BetUS Radio.

It was a monumental week for MMA, and Damon D had me on the show today to plug the Potato, discuss the week’s wild news, and guide all you gambling addicts through the smart picks at UFC 82. I’d like to thank whoever gave me a cold this week, which left my naturally warm and sonorous voice a nasally, scratchy wreck. I’d also like to thank Sprint for their always crystal-clear cell phone reception. (Honestly, it sounds like I did the show via tin-cans-and-string from the bottom of a coal mine.) And on an unsarcastic note, I want to give a big shout-out to Damon for letting me swing by and talk shit for 40 minutes. The man’s energy…is contagious. Check out BetUS’s official UFC 82 odds here, and GO HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SHOW! You can also find the podcast in the iTunes store; just search for “UFC,” then click “See All” in the Podcasts section. Feedback appreciated!

Also Important: As I mentioned at the end of the show, I’m flying down to Columbus tomorrow to take in the fights, and I’ll have some first-person impressions and exclusives for you by Monday. Liveblogging the action in my place will be TheFightingLife‘s Ben Fowlkes, so be sure to come back here tomorrow night starting at 10pm ET/7pm PT for round-by-round updates. And go easy on him, okay?

The IFL’s “New Blood – New Battles” season opener goes down tonight at the Orleans Arena in Las Vegas, with Team Tompkins set to do battle against Mario Sperry’s World Class Fight Center, and Matt Lindland’s Team Quest facing off against Ken Shamrock’s Lions Den. Also, title-holders Ryan Schultz (lightweight), Matt Horwich (middleweight), and Roy Nelson (heavyweight) will defend their belts against John Gunderson, Ryan McGivern, and Fabiano Scherner, respectively. TheFightingLife‘s Ben Fowlkes (who also writes news for IFL.tv) has been on the scene since Tuesday and gave us this glimpse into the high-tension among the fighters before the event. Watch the action tonight on HDNet, starting at 11 p.m. ET/8 p.m. PT.

Covering the IFL for the past year and a half, here’s one lesson I’ve learned: during any interview with Matt Lindland, he’s going to get mad at me at least once. I can never tell what will cause it; it could be anything. This time it’s Kimbo Slice.

It’s the day before the IFL Las Vegas event and we’re interviewing all the fighters and coaches. It can be monotonous, to say the least. We get just about everyone to weigh in on Kimbo, but as soon as I ask what Lindland thinks of him, the mood of the interview changes.

“He’s a bum,” says Lindland. The look on his face tells me to leave it alone. I ask what he means by that. He glares at me. I bring this on myself. I really do.

“I mean he’s a bum,” he says. “He’s a nobody. What do you want me to say? You asked me what I thought and I told you. I don’t have anything else to say about him.”

The hell of it is, despite how ornery he can be I really like Lindland. I can’t help it. Even when he gives me the look like he’s trying to figure out how one human being ever got to be this stupid, at least I know it’s sincere. You have to respect honesty like that.

Writing about fighters, sometimes honesty is difficult to gauge. Do these two guys really hate each other, I find myself asking, or are they just trying to hype the fight? In the build-up to Friday night’s IFL event, I wondered this about Ian Loveland and Dennis Davis, two former teammates who are slated to go at it.

9. Don Frye

Full pints of 40-year-old ball-sweat have passed through the Predator’s Old Glory nut-huggers. Just seems a little disrespectful, that’s all.

8. Ken Shamrock

Watching Ken sport these old-schoolers transports us to the time we spotted the 80-year-old next door during one of her “spells.” Those are some granny panties we’ll never get out of our mind.

7. Rich Franklin

Half badass, half…pink? He earned the right to get his ass handed to him by Anderson Silva. But he was a hit at the post-fight pride parade.

(Andrei Arlovski could be one paid motherfucker tomorrow.)

Our monthly roundup in which we express fight predictions via the UFC’s customary “Of the Night” payouts. Last time didn’t go so hot, but we have a good feeling about UFC 82. Again, here’s the lineup:

MAIN CARD
Anderson Silva vs. Dan Henderson
Heath Herring vs. Cheick Kongo
Chris Leben vs. Alessio Sakara
Yushin Okami vs. Evan Tanner
Jon Fitch vs. Chris Wilson

PRELIMINARY CARD
Andrei Arlovski vs. Jake O’Brien
Luke Cummo vs. Luigi Fioravanti
Josh Koscheck vs. Dustin Hazelett
Diego Sanchez vs. David Bielkheden
Jorge Gurgel vs. John Halverson

Fight of the Night: How could it not be Silva vs. Henderson? It’s rare that the Octagon hosts this much combined talent. We see this one going into the championship rounds, with both men pounding the hell out of each other along the way. As you know, we’re leaning toward Silva.

Knockout of the Night: Andrei Arlovski. Other MMA pundits have said that the undefeated O’Brien will grind his way to a lay-and-pray victory, but Arlovski is coming into this fight with the combined rage of 10,000 insulted Soviets, and he’ll be looking to prove that undercards are beneath him. There’s a chance this could be his last fight for the UFC, so putting an exclamation point at the end of his Octagon career would be a priority; we’ll say KO/TKO, round 2. Dark horse: Jon Fitch. His fight against Chris Wilson may look like a mismatch, but Wilson’s ground skills are underrated. Still, we see Fitch putting Wilson out on his feet early.

Submission of the Night: Josh Koscheck. Speaking of mismatches…Koscheck’s recent performances haven’t been awe-inspiring, and he knows he needs a dramatic win against the gift-wrapped Dustin Hazelett, who’s never faced an opponent as skilled as Kos; it’s looking like a first-round armbar. Dark horse: Sanchez over Bielkheden. Same deal as with Koscheck — Bielkheden is being brought in for his UFC debut to build Sanchez’s confidence, and on paper, Sanchez’s ground game scores much higher. But if Ali Sonoma is still fucking with his concentration, we’ll stop short of saying this is a guaranteed win for Nightmare…

See it differently? Let us know in the comments…

(Tompkins at work.)

The first round of the UFC/Randy Couture legal dust-up was scored 10-9 for the UFC, as Xtreme Couture has asked the IFL to remove their name from tonight’s 2008 season opener (more on that later) due to Randy’s ongoing litigation with the UFC. MMAPayout reports that the camp will instead use the name Team Tompkins, named for Xtreme Couture’s head trainer Shawn Tompkins, who has been coaching the team. Team Tompkins will feature last year’s contenders Chris Horodecki and Benji Radach, and reigning welterweight champion Jay Hieron. According to Joe Favorito, the IFL’s Senior VP of Communications, “The IFL is not in any way involved in this litigation, we are doing this out of professional courtesy for Randy and his group.” According to FightOpinion, judge Jennifer Togliatti ruled for further proceedings in terms of discovery (whatever that means), with the next hearing set for March 6th.

Though this move seems like a major concession to the UFC’s complaint that Couture is promoting other MMA organizations, he still has that “false and injurious statements” thing to deal with, which won’t be as easily solved as a name change. But at least it looks like Couture won’t be stonewalling for stonewalling’s sake; he’s willing to bend on the small stuff in order to free himself from his contract. More on this as it comes…

Previously: Shawn Tompkins Gets Knocked Out Four Times

And also: Inside Xtreme Couture Episode 2

All things must pass. And so it went with Tito Ortiz, who found himself on the business end of a “y’fiyahd” last night on Celebrity Apprentice. Coerced into leading Team Empresario by Omarosa (who knew the next losing project manager would likely get pink-slipped), Ortiz had to develop a four-page ad spread for Dove Yogurt Bodywash or some shit, with Omarosa, Trace Adkins, and Stephen Baldwin as his associates. Unfortunately, Ortiz was a bit lost on how to approach the challenge, and Baldwin stepped in as the team’s de-facto leader, organizing a photo shoot that saw Trace seducing a hot model in a desert. It turned out surprisingly well, but Ortiz was a shifty, stammering mess when he was called on to present their work to a trio of Dove executives. Here’s one line from his pitch:

“Of course we used Trace, the reason why we used Trace is the demographics that we did have were from ladies ranging from the age of 20, or excuse me, 30 to 59, which, uh, most country folk ladies that would love Trace’s, uh…y’know, kinda push the product exactly.”

And such as. He also pronounced perfect (adj.) as per-FECT, and risque as RISK-ay. In the end, the Dove execs picked Team Hydra’s advertorial, which featured Carol Alt taking a bath and getting bitten, Marv Albert-style, by a male model. Thus, Ortiz was on the chopping block. And though Omarosa was called out for dodging a challenge that fit into her area of expertise (marketing, not washing), and Baldwin was criticized for being an overbearing prick who was directly responsible for their losing concept, the buck stopped at the project manager, and Tito was dunzo.

But Trump was so impressed with Ortiz’s performance on the show that he gave the HBBB $50,000 anyway for his charity. He called Tito “really special” and “the best there is,” which is strange because Ortiz honestly didn’t do that well on the show; he never got a chance to show off his leadership skills or business acumen, and only lasted as long as he did by hiding behind the greater failures of others. It reminded me of that SNL sketch “The Sinatra Group” where Frank Sinatra (Phil Hartman) tells 2 Live Crew’s Luther Campbell (Chris Rock) “you don’t need to work blue, kid, you got talent,” and Rock is like “no, I really don’t.” I wish that video didn’t cut off in the middle so you could actually see what I’m talking about.

“Issue #4: Milli Vanilli, what is this faggot crap?” Classic.

(Alvarez vs. Derrick Noble in ’06.)

Although Eddie Alvarez signed a multi-fight deal with the EliteXC last month, he has also agreed to fight in DREAM’s Lightweight Grand Prix. 5oz. of Pain confirmed the deal this afternoon. The tournament will be in Japan on March 15th. Alvarez will fight Andre “Dida” Amade in the first round.

“The fight is 100 percent,” began Alvarez. “I just got a call from my manager, Monte Cox, everything is underway. Everything is approved and I will be heading over there (Japan) on the 10th to fight in the lightweight Grand Prix. I’m excited.”

“Monte (Cox) talked it over with EliteXC and EliteXC was happy to work with DREAM,” Alvarez responded when asked if special permission was needed to compete in a tournament that could require Alvarez to fight on three separate DREAM shows. “I’m sure they want to do business with them in the future so I’m sure they are more than happy to lend me over and let me do the fight.”

Alvarez also said he might be fighting in May for an EliteXC Atlantic City event, but nothing is set in stone. He will certainly be busy getting down to lightweight for the fight and mentioned he is doing three-a-days to make weight. The fighter is 12-1 overall and last fought on January 25th when he defeated Ross Ebanez via TKO in the second round of their battle at The ShoXC Elite Challenger Series. He’s an exciting fighter to watch and has only lost to Nick “The Goat” Thompson (April, 2007).

Andre “Dida” Amade is 6-2-1, losing his very first pro fight and his latest – a submission loss to Gesias Calvancante last September at K-1 HERO’s – Tournament Final. He has been with K-1 his last four fights. Amade is with Chute Box; Alvarez from Philly’s Fight Factory.

Gotta’ hand it to the guys at DREAM for putting together a solid card so far. More than I can say for another organization set to debut soon.

(The future centerpieces of the UFC.)

I don’t make a habit of reading askmen.com unless I’m researching how to properly organize my closet or how taking a cooking class can make me a better lover – my closet has never looked better by the way – but MMA News is directing attention to askmen’s article, 5 Things You Didn’t Know: The UFC. The piece digs up some absurd stuff we knew and some we didn’t about the organization. Case in point:

1- It was supposed to involve alligators
If nothing else, you can’t successfully accuse the original promoters of the UFC of failing to think big. Specifically, in addition to such outrageous ideas as putting electric fences around the ring, one of their many schemes was to include live alligators thrashing around in moats. Fortunately, UFC doctors were a bit more practical in their thinking, advising against such plans because of the potential harm these could do to the fighters.

Was Bob Meyrowitz behind the curtain on this one? It doesn’t give an exact date as to when the gators were to make their appearance, but I’m guessing YAMMA’s showman had crocs and gators as an idea for a new “surface”.

Point number two details John McCain’s flip-flop on his stance concerning MMA, specifically the UFC. That we are well aware of – as we are of point number five, which is that Dana White kept Tito in the UFC in 2006 by offering to go three rounds with him – a ploy that likely won’t work this time around.

Apparently I’m a subscriber to the UFC.com newsletter — which means I can totally buy tickets before the rest of you commoners, right? — and this poster came into my inbox today. Maybe this is nit-picky, especially in light of the three amazing headlining fights on this card, but can we talk about the “ill will” font? The name wasn’t blowing me away to begin with, and that’s the weakest, most limp-dicked presentation I’ve ever seen. White crayon, all lowercase? If that’s that creative direction they were going with, why not call the event “nap time” or “i’m sad”? Whatever happened to overcompensation? If I was designing this thing, I’d put “ill will” in all caps, in a tread plate-inspired font that shot fucking fireballs. No, don’t thank me, my wisdom is a gift to the world.

(Pour one out…)

It’s kind of sad that it’s taken this long for the UFC to get a non-malt-liquor beer sponsor. But after years spent presenting Rock Paper Scissors tournaments, the Phoenix Suns’ official blog, the New Jersey State Barbecue Championship, and countless games of Beirut, Bud Light has decided that the UFC is finally respectable enough to bear its name. From today’s press release on UFC.com:

COLUMBUS, Ohio (Feb. 28, 2008) – This spring, millions of Ultimate Fighting Championship® fans will see a new heavyweight take the center of the Octagon™. Today Anheuser-Busch and UFC® announced that Bud Light, the world’s best-selling beer, will become the new exclusive beer sponsor for the UFC.

Bud Light’s three-year deal with Zuffa, LLC, owner of the UFC brand, makes the American-style light lager with superior drinkability the exclusive beer sponsor of the UFC – the world’s premier mixed martial arts organization…

“Landing Anheuser-Busch and Bud Light is huge for us, our fighters and especially our fans,” said Dana White, UFC president. “We’ve got the number one selling beer in the world and one of the top marketers in all of sports as our sponsor. If our TV ratings, pay-per-view buys and venue sell-outs weren’t enough, this definitely cements UFC as a major player in sports business.”

So, starting with UFC 84 in May, the Bud Light logo will be in the center of the Octagon and on the vertical bumpers, and will be featured during press conferences and weigh-ins. It will also be the presenting sponsor for two UFC pay-per-view events per year. And beginning June 1, Bud Light will also be the official beer sponsor of World Extreme Cagefighting events on VERSUS.

Update: An source who wishes to remain anonymous has revealed to CagePotato that EliteXC has just locked down Coca-Cola to sponsor its live events on CBS, and that an enraged Dana White has killed two people in his office. We’ll keep you posted on this shocking turn of events…

Arguably the best fight from the best fight card of 2007: Dan Henderson’s romper-stomper against Wanderlei Silva for the middleweight title at PRIDE 33, last February 24th in Las Vegas. If you’re calling the Silva/Henderson match for Hendo, I have no beef with you; anyone who can put on a performance like this is capable of others like it. And that knockout punch was a thing of beauty…

Part 1

Part 2

(Melendez – and his hair – in need of an opponent.)

— Strikeforce lightweight title-holder Gilbert “El Niño” Melendez was supposed to fight Jorge Masvidal at the Strikeforce/EliteXC March 29th event – but the fight has been cancelled due to a shin injury Masvidal received during “Strikeforce at the Dome” in Washington. The injury came in a fight against Ryan Healy, which Masvidal won by decision. A replacement could be named soon to battle Melendez since he is one of the top fighters on the card. Middleweight champ Frank Shamrock will put his title on the line against Cung Le in the highly-anticipated main event.

Melendez is 13-1, snapping a 13-fight win streak and picking up his first loss at “Yarennoka!” on New Year’s Eve. He lost via decision to PRIDE vet Mitsuhiro Ishida. The lightweight has seen success almost everywhere he’s fought, including Strikeforce, PRIDE, WEC, and ROTR. El Niño’s ex-opponent, Masvidal, has seen recent success in Strikeforce and BodogFIGHT and boasts wins over dudes like Joe Lauzon and Yves Edwards.

— We reported the surprising retirement of welterweight star Paul “Semtex” Daley earlier this week. The out-of-nowhere announcement was posted on Cage Warriors’ message board. While speculation to Daley’s retirement at age 25 ranged from him being bored with the sport to a ploy to pull in a huge payday from the highest bidder, it’s still unclear to why he would do this or if it was just a hoax. Sherdog was able to reach FX-3 promoter Paul James, who confirmed Daley would be giving up his EliteXC position after he fulfills his contract on March 29th. And in a text message exchange with Daley, they say the fighter refused to talk about the decision because he didn’t want to make a big deal of it. Well, it is a big deal to us when a star athlete who could dominate their division decides to drop it all.

MMA Betting Blog has the odds for Saturday’s UFC 82, and breaks down a few of the match-ups here. Their current numbers for the main card (favorites followed by underdogs) are:

Anderson Silva (-150) vs. Dan Henderson (+120)
Cheick Kongo (-175) vs. Heath Herring (+145)
Chris Leben (-165) vs. Alessio Sakara (+135)
Yushin Okami (-220) vs. Evan Tanner (+170)
Jon Fitch (-550) vs. Chris Wilson (+350)

I’ve flip-flopped on my prediction for the main event, which is one of the most evenly matched and toughest-to-call in UFC history. At first, I bought into the oft-repeated line of “Silva’s never faced as good of a wrestler as Henderson.” Which is absolutely true, but now I don’t think that will be the deciding factor in the fight. For me, it comes down to this: Which will each man’s strategy be, and how likely is the success of that strategy?

(Saturday Night Live: Slice and Shaw)

From the press release that just landed, growling and steaming, in our inbox:

CBS AND PROELITE JOIN FORCES TO BRING MIXED MARTIAL ARTS TO PRIMETIME BROADCAST TELEVISION

One of the Fastest-Growing Spectator Sports Comes to CBS With Four Live, Two-Hour Events Per Year

LOS ANGELES, Feb. 28 — The CBS Television Network and ProElite, Inc., a Los Angeles-based leading entertainment and media company that produces world class mixed martial arts (MMA) events, today jointly announced a multi-year agreement that will bring one of the fastest growing spectator sports to a major broadcast television network for the first time.

CBS will broadcast four MMA events per year, produced by ProElite’s EliteXC fight division, as two-hour live primetime specials targeted for Saturday nights.

The agreement augments an existing relationship between CBS Corporation (NYSE: CBS and CBS.A) and ProElite (PELE.PK), which began broadcasting its EliteXC live MMA events on CBS’s SHOWTIME premium cable network in 2007. EliteXC events will continue to air on SHOWTIME.

Still no word on when the first EliteXC/CBS event might take place, but Kevin Iole guesses that it’ll be in April, in either Atlantic City or Newark, with Kimbo Slice headlining.

Dana White is surely icing his balls right now. Adam Swift of MMAPayout jogs our memory:

This is the second door opened by the UFC that EXC has walked through. MMAPayout.com was the first to report that negotiations between the UFC and CBS had stalled in December over creative control issues. EXC landed its spot on Showtime after the UFC attempted to use the network for leverage in its failed negotiations with HBO.

But hey, the UFC doesn’t need CBS anyway. As Swift writes:

Multiple sources have told MMAPayout.com that FOX is believed to have interest in MMA with rumors suggesting that the network even went so far as to make a bid on the entire company during recent negotiations with the UFC.

You know, a UFC/FOX deal would actually be pretty cool, and I look forward to the day when Ultimate Fighter hopefuls have to audition for the show in front of Randy, Paula, and Simon.

“That arm-triangle was absolutely dreadful.”

Suki MMA reports that PRIDE/K-1 star Kazushi Sakuraba will open his first official gym on April 1st. When I first saw this picture I thought, “Okay, so he’s setting up downstairs from a Japanese improv comedy club.” But no. “Laughter7″ is actually the name of the gym. I wonder if this is one of those situations where Sak didn’t really understand the meaning of the word, but he chose it for its look. You know, like how Chuck Liddell thinks those characters on his head mean “house of peace and prosperity” but they really mean “spicy tuna roll”? Further examples of this phenomenon on Japanese t-shirts after the jump.

(Am I weird, or is this chick hot?)

For all you nerds who like trivia, flexing your brain, and shit, head over to FightMetric to do it up MMA style. The quiz sports questions to test how much you really know about MMA – specifically how fights end. I got 8 out of 10 correct and I would’ve scored better had I not popped open the bottle of tequila at noon. The questions/answers are pulled from FightMetric’s extensive database of fight endings from both major and minor organizations.

We’ve spent our share of hours checking out FM’s number crunching on everything that happens in a fight such as strikes thrown and landed, types of punches, kicks, positions, time spent on the ground, etc. Their reports are pretty in-depth and they arrive at their data via some Einstein-esque equations. Don’t believe me? Here are two formulas they use to get their figures (actually taken from the site):

My head hurts. I’m going to go watch TV.

(Will Kimbo kick ass after “Without a Trace”?)

MMA Junkie is reporting that ProElite – the parent company of EliteXC – is set to announce a partnership with CBS to air their events. An agreement has apparently been approved between both parties.

The EliteXC airs on Showtime under EliteXC and ShowXC. As we already stated, EliteXC and Kimbo has had at least something to do with Showtime’s recent spike in subscribers. Showtime is cheaper than dishing out for UFC pay-per-view events every month and you get to see tasteful adults films late at night as a bonus. This rumor is easy to buy into because CBS owns Showtime and has certainly recognized the channel’s cross-over potential to network television – “Dexter” airing on CBS being a recent example. EliteXC: “Street Certified” pulled in a sold-out crowd and pulled in over 500,000 viewers to Showtime. Sure, Kimbo was a major part of that, but other EliteXC shows will reap residuals from him being in their fold. Network execs know that larger-than-life sports personalities draw ratings, so naturally they’d want to be in the Kimbo business.

And with Dana White ruining every chance of getting the UFC on network television – CBS was once the frontrunner to air UFC events – networks have started seeking other organizations to sign up. CBS and EliteXC is by far the marriage with the least hoops to jump through, so we could get this announcement very soon. The events would be broadcast live in prime-time and probably every month.

This could be a very large step and do for MMA what network TV has done for Arena Football…okay, bad example, but you get what I’m saying about the exposure. And I know I probably don’t even have to mention it, but “What Would Kimbo Do?” would be natural fit for CBS’s Saturday morning kid’s programming. Story line ideas now being accepted.

— Matt Lindland let it slip to MMA Weekly that he’s just signed a contract with a new fight promotion that will pay him more for his first fight than he made in his entire UFC career combined. He will be fighting only as a middleweight, and his first match is slated for June. Though Lindland wasn’t at liberty to discuss who’s behind the shadowy promotion, word is that Affliction is a primary partner in the deal, and another partner may be Oscar De La Hoya’s Golden Boy Promotions. If you’ll recall, an earlier report suggested that the UFC had banned Affliction from sponsoring its fighters due to the fighting league it had in the works. Lindland — who has always sort of reminded us of Woogie Woganowski — hasn’t fought since his loss to Fedor Emelianenko via armbar at BodogFight: Clash of the Nations in April.

— Fightlinker found an image from a YAMMA ad that may reveal the design of their mysterious pit. If those are iron bars lining the cage, this thing is going to be run out of town faster than you can say “Meyrowitz.”

— I don’t think I’ve posted about anything non-MMA related on this site since I found out that Ben Curtis was taking orders at Tortilla Flats, but I have to give up the props when it’s necessary. This video list on HolyTaco is the greatest thing I’ve seen online since I discovered the Professor Brothers. Not the father FTW.

Good God, this guy has the best haymaker we’ve seen since Clubber Lang. Who knows if the Cro Cop fight will actually come together, but we’d love to see it. Check out Mo throwing bombs during his K-1 kickboxing career. Could his power-punches trump Mirko’s head-kick? We say: Maybe!

The love/hate relationship between Joe Riggs and his agent Ken Pavia is a matter of public record. In fact, Pavia has enough admiration for Joe Diesel that he has no problem blowing up the dude’s spot once in a while, as in his latest column for MMA Junkie. Though this story about Riggs’s run-in with a paraplegic grappler isn’t quite on the level of the Ricco Rodriguez car-accident switcheroo, it’s still pretty amazing. Check it:

[Nick] is a son of a bitch who is 200 lbs. of super-human upper-body strength and walks on his hands because he has no legs, literally…The first time Pat Miletich [told Riggs] to roll with him he thought it was a joke. Diesel playfully obliged and got into his guard. Nick proceeded to clap his stubs, which end mid-thigh, into Joe’s jugular vein and twist his arm off. He said his neck was sore for two weeks as a result. Joe said he got pissed and cursed at him. He said, “Let’s go again.” This time Nick grabbed him in a leg lock and was so strong that Joe was forced to tap again. But Nick, who apparently didn’t like to be cursed at, said “not yet Joe” and torqued it further. That kind of stuff doesn’t go ever well among fighters.

Now, Joe was really heated and demanded to try again. Well, he lasted a little longer — like a minute — before it was tap No. 3…Diesel was so upset that he stormed off to the locker room and showered up. In came Nick walking on his hands and Joe, in an act of retribution, proceeded to pee on the shower floor.

Nick then forced Joe to shampoo his hair for him. No, not really, but I like the visual.

By the way, Riggs is pain-free after undergoing a procedure yesterday to freeze three nerves in his lower back that were pinched by an out-of-place disc suffered in his fight with Cory Devela, and wants to get back in the cage as soon as possible. As Riggs told Pavia: “Make sure Devela doesn’t fight anyone else. I don’t want him exposed before I smash him.”

(Gunderson in his favorite jersey.)

— Appears Cro Cop will be facing Siala “Mighty Mo” Siliga at Dream 1. No official announcement yet, but one could be coming soon. Mighty Mo fights out of Southern California and is 3-0. His two fights last year were in K-1 against Warpath Villareal and Min Soo Kim – and their 16-20-3 combined records. Mo hasn’t really been tested in his career and Cro Cop is certainly going to be ready to put on a show in his new home.

— TAGG Radio had IFL lightweight John Gunderson on yesterday. Gunderson is facing IFL champ Ryan “The Lion” Schultz on Friday and is repping The Lion’s Den. However, Gunderson recently jumped over to Xtreme Couture and he’s banking on that move to help him defeat Schultz.

“For me it’s a night-and-day difference between the training that I’ve had before,” Gunderson said of his move to Xtreme Couture. “There isn’t a day gone by that I haven’t been tapped out or got rocked a little bit. And I don’t really ever remember that happening in Reno, Nev.”

“In two to three weeks, I’m not going to show a dramatic or drastic change in my skill level,” Gunderson said. “I’m no fool, but I think within six months, I’m going to be able to show a lot better skill level… I’ve got so many great training partners, and we’ve got some good coaches there, too. I love the opportunity, and I love the gym.”

Ryan Schultz has won four in a row and picked up the IFL lightweight title when he handed Chris Horodecki his first loss back in December. Gunderson is 2-2 in the IFL and lost his last fight – to Wagnney Fabiano in November.

The esteemed EliteXC commentator freezes up while looking at dancing girls, stammers like Foghorn Leghorn, and will not give up his microphone.

If you missed part 1, click here. We’d also like to direct you to our new homepage poll, over on the right. Sure, Mike has sucked for a lot longer, but Bill has the potential to reach new depths of awfulness. Let us know how you feel.

(Kimbo posing with Tappy McTapsalot.)

Alright, so that may be a bit of a stretch. But Variety reports that Showtime subscriptions jumped 11% in the fourth quarter of 2007; parent company CBS Corp.’s profit fell 19% in the same period. We’d imagine that many of those new subscribers were people who signed up just to see Kimbo Slice destroy Bo Cantrell at EliteXC: Renegade. It sure as hell wasn’t for The Tudors.

In other dollar-related news…

— “Strikeforce at the Dome” took in more money than any other combat-sport event ever held in Washington state. 7,089 disappointed fans packed the Tacoma Dome and gave up $300,000 of their money, which they immediately regretted.

— Rich Franklin has put the Hummer H2 he was given for being a coach on the second season of The Ultimate Fighter up for auction on eBay. The starting bid is 80 grand, and you can “Buy It Now” for $125,000. The auction ends on March 2nd, and 10% of the proceeds will go to the Keep it in the Ring Foundation, which channels youthful aggression through after-school sports and martial arts programs. We hope Franklin is more successful at this eBay thing than Ricco Rodriguez, who eventually settled for $250, a dozen Krispy Kremes, and a pack of smokes.

EliteXC’s welterweight top-dog Jake Shields was awarded his BJJ black belt yesterday by Cesar Gracie at Team Fairtex Gym in San Francisco. Nick Diaz, Gilbert Melendez and others were on hand to congratulate him the only way they know how. Hmm…I assumed this moment would be a little more dignified. Anyway, big ups to Shields, who faces UFC vet Drew Fickett at the March 29th Strikeforce/EliteXC show headlined by Frank Shamrock/Cung Le.

(Video courtesy of Sherdog)

We’re starting to feel the UFC 82 adrenaline building and it’ll certainly be hitting on all cylinders by this Saturday. Check out these vids from ESPN of the two headliners dishing about their battle.

Anderson Silva doesn’t believe Dan Henderson is his toughest challenge.

Dan Henderson talking the style match-up and why he believes he will beat Anderson Silva.

(Is “Semtex” done?)

— Cage Rage vet and current EliteXC fighter Paul “Semtex” Daley has posted on-line that he is calling it quits when his EliteXC contract is over on March 29th.

This is for the fighters, fans, promoters and trolls alike.

As of now i will be stepping down as Cage Rage Champion (British and world), FX-3 Champion and KOTR champion. I vacate all these titles. Futher more i consider my self retired (from all MMA/Thai boxing) as of March 29th. March 29th i will fullfill my contracted commitment for Pro Elite, against a yet un named opponent.

No speculation, No futher annonucments, once i’ve found the path i originally set out on in the Martial Arts, i may return to this SPORT, Maybe 6months-Maybe 6 years, who knows.

Who will be the next welterweight CRC champ. FX-3 champ????…

Thanks

Although this message is put together with a wordsmith’s touch, it’s hard to believe “Semtex” would be bowing out of the sport at this time in his career. 5oz of Pain seconds that backed by personal interaction with the fighter. The guy is 17-6-2 and can command a solid payday in several organizations. Maybe that’s what this is about…drawing a big payday from the dudes willing to “pull him out of retirement”.

— The IFL is adding to its exposure by partnering with the social media network imeem. The organization already has agreements with other media and networking sites such as Break.com, YouTube and PalTalk. The IFL’s press release says that imeem’s 23 million users will be able to view and interact with media from the IFL at www.ifl.imeem.com.

The partnership will create an IFL TV channel on imeem where fans can find engaging and fresh media content from the professional mixed martial arts sports league, ranging from match highlights to athlete and coach interviews and instructional segments. The imeem community can also express themselves with their favorite IFL content by creating and sharing custom video playlists with friends on imeem and through embeddable widgets on third party sites across the Web.

So more chances to see our boys Roy “Big Country” Nelson and Matt “Sauve” Horwich in action.

— An update on the state of MMA in the, um, state of Maryland. Today the Maryland Senate went to committee over Senate Bill 649. You’ll recall that the bill proposes the legalization of MMA in the state – amateur and professional. If you want to put in your two cents, go here. Delegate Kirill Reznik (District 39, Montgomery County) has been pushing to make MMA legal in the state and Luke Thomas over at BloodyElbow was even asked to speak to the Senate committee today about the matter. That’s the proactive action MMA needs. Keeping our fingers crossed for you guys.