10 of the Dumbest Quotes in MMA
10. Quinton “Rampage” Jackson
Quote: “When I be losing I be gettin’ my ass whupped. But when I be winnin’ I be doing the ass whuppin’!”
Admittedly, Rampage has had enough funny/dumb quotes to fill a book and over 2/3rd of them contain some version of “ass whuppin’”. We’ll let this well-said overly obvious statement represent the many that he has given us — and the hundreds more that are sure to come.
9. BJ Penn
Quote: “My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs.”
We like BJ - and he’s a fan favorite - but, Prodigy, a little extra effort would be appreciated when you’re fielding questions about your diet. Everyone knows what Atkins is, so if you add the carbs…well, then it’s not Atkins at all is it?
8. Wanderlei Silva
Quote: “I want to fuck…I want to fight Chuck, fuck Chuck.”
We understand English is not his first language, but if I’m going to be at press conferences and giving recorded interviews, I’m going to at least make sure I’m not saying I want to bone a dude instead of fight him. But maybe that’s just me. I’m not from his country. [Ed. note: Sure, GSP’s accent has led to some hilarious moments, but never did we misconstrue him as wanting to bed Matt Hughes.]
7. Jim Brown
Quote: “I don’t know what kind of technique was used there, but there was a lot of kicking and punching.”
Astute observations like this is what helps us understand the ins-and-outs of MMA. Sure, the use of Jim Brown may have just been a ploy to throw some celebrity power behind the broadcasts, but my grandmother could have made this remark. Actually, my grandmother has made this remark.
6. Phil Baroni
Quote: “I fight because I can’t sing, I can’t dance, and it beats working all day. Now ask me a question that doesn’t sound so fucking stupid.”
Well, for those of you who can’t sing, dance or fight, I guess you’re up shit creek. Looks like you’ll be working all day for the rest of your miserable existence. Baroni never did handle interviews with kid gloves, but when you make comments that are just plain stupid, expect to make the dumb list.
5. Tank Abbott
Quote: “I felt like I was being raped by Freddy Mercury.”
Tank made this comment over a decade ago after losing to Dan Severn. Now, we’re not sure if Tank actually had the experience of being violated by Queen’s bandleader or if that was the first person who came to mind when he was asked how he felt. Even though Dan Severn and Freddie Mercury shared similar mustache styles, this still ranks as one of the dumbest.
4. Tim Sylvia
Quote: “Half of this game is 90% mental.”
We may feel a little sorry for him sometimes, but this guy just can’t stay off of our worst lists. This one was just begging to be here. And for those of you who failed math more than once (is that so wrong?) half is 50%, not 90%. Hence the dumbness.
3. Mike Goldberg
Quote: “He wants to get in close to use that reach advantage.”
Goldie is a master at the dumb quotes and has a multitude during each broadcast - like “Looks like Tito is taking a book out of Chuck’s chapter.” This gem comes from Ultimate Fight Night 10 and it will certainly be topped by an even dumber quip by the toothy commentator soon. It’s only a matter of time before Rogan chokes MIke out for his idiotic sayings.
2. Paul Buentello
Quote: “Don’t fear me. (pause to get the crowd pumped) Fear the consequences.”
We’re sure he had something cool to say, but as soon as he got the first three words out it all went blank. Then cheesy movie lines started rushing into his head and he’s stuck with this embarrassing quote for life.
1. Ken Shamrock
Quote #1:”You got kicked. By a kick.”
Quote #2: “I am very confident this fight can go either way.”
We could do a top 100 of Ken’s quotes, but we’ll only use these two from TUF 3 for this list. Quote #1 is so blatant, it hardly warrants anything be said about it. The second quote is a classic Ken when a microphone is shoved in his face and he must rely on his mind to do the heavy lifting for him. The results are hi-larious. But careful about making fun of him, he will “beat you into a living death” (an actual Ken quote).
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February 8th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
This is by far one of the funniest lists you have put up so far. “You got kicked. By a kick.” Did Shamrock say that to one of the guys he was coaching? If you were within earshot how could you not burst into laughter? The only thing that would contain my laughter is knowing that he might break my arm off… Then again, Ken does have a habit of jumping into punches (just ask Rich Franklin) so I might have a chance!
February 8th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Some of these are dumb, but some are jokes and meant for you to laugh. Like the BJ and Tank quotes. I know I laughed. I guess some people have no sense of humor.
February 8th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
AGAIN……great job with the top ten lists. What is even funnier is that I remember half of those.
I know that Jim Brown said some really stupid shit in the early UFC days when he used to be in the booth. Good job!!!
February 8th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Baroni’s the best interviewer mma has. Period. His shit cracks me up everytime.
February 8th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
I think when rogan said ‘this is the best bj i’ve seen in awhile’ that has to be on the top 10, i think it was the 2nd hughes fight.
February 8th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
How many other MMA sites throw in links to drag queen videos in their articles? Not many!
Killer shit, mayng…
February 8th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
NICE!!
HILARIOUS!!!
the only ones of those that i’ve never actually heard were #1, #5, & #7.
and..
the only ones that don’t make the person saying it seem like a complete retard are Tank’s and Buentello’s…
THANKS FOR REMINDING ME OF THESE!!!
February 8th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
it seems to me that you didn’t quite understand the joke in bj penns quote. it’s funny, not dumb, therefore i nominate “i never lost a fight i didn’t want to lose” by matt hughes.
February 8th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
There is nothing mathematically wrong with Tim Sylvia’s statement. 90% of half is just a stupid way of saying 45%. It should be on the list, just not for the reason you listed. Also, didn’t Joe Dirt make the same statement.
February 8th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
These quotes solidify my previous assumtion that Ken Shamrock has a cinderlock inside of his head instead of a brain.
February 8th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
cinderblock… FUCK!
February 8th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
ryan:
Nice call on the Joe Rogan line! But, I think that would be better served under best quotes in MMA!!!
February 8th, 2008 at 5:10 pm
Hilarious quotes…but what we really need is a top 10 Mike Goldberg quotes and/or fuck-ups. He’s the king of them all.
February 8th, 2008 at 7:26 pm
The best one is a Ken quote too: ”I’ll knock your hair black!” (talking to tito ortiz)
February 8th, 2008 at 7:55 pm
I think Yogi Berra made the 90% mental quote
February 8th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
God damn it, I love your top 10’s. From Penn on I was fucking rolling (I must be to used to Rampage’s quotes by now)
February 8th, 2008 at 10:07 pm
Got some good laughs from this article. But the best was when I read that Kimbo’s lice had a comment.
February 9th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
Nice one.
To be perfectly fair he could have meant a nine tenths of half is mental effectively making it 45% mental. But he probably didn’t.
February 9th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
90% of half means that it is AT LEAST 45% for there could be a percentage of the other half that is mental. as in “half this game is 90% mental and the other half is 20% mental”. that game would be 55% mental.
February 9th, 2008 at 5:10 pm
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February 9th, 2008 at 5:31 pm
90% of 50% is 45%….it is dumb to say for that reason, but whoever wrote this is a moron for not realizing that there is this thing called math
February 9th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
The 90%/50% comment is actually a Yogi Berra quote. Granted, it’s a slight misquote, but it’s not HIS stupid quote; it’s a stupid quote he’s using for ironic effect.
February 9th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
As has been stated already, Tim Sylvia’s comment is not dumb for the reason this list says it is. You can have 90% of 50%. If you are going to call out people for saying dumb things, it would be wise to not type dumb stuff yourself. It’s an entertaining list anyway.
February 9th, 2008 at 6:14 pm
Baroni said that cause the interviewer asked
why he fights.
What did you want him to say?
Were you looking for a caveman response?
February 9th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
I’m surprised the Ken Shamrock quote which he said: “I’m going to punch you into a living death!”
February 9th, 2008 at 6:51 pm
When referring to Matt Hamill, Joe Rogan once said, “He’s completely deaf–he cannot hear at all!”
February 9th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
If you can’t fight, sing or dance and are too stupid to hold a job, you can still make Top10 lists! ZING!
February 9th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
Hmmm, none of these are very stupid…
February 9th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
Hilarious stuff.
The Baroni quote, of course, is a reference to Rocky though…
Some golden stuff in there though.
February 9th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
Haha! I think BJ was just saying he eats whatever he feels like, and well
half the game is 90% mental, 10% physical and the other half is..advertising.
February 9th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
Tim sylvia didn’t invent that saying, it’s a old joke he stole from Yogi Berra
http://www.quotedb.com/quotes/1310
February 9th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
Wow you’re stupid. You failed to see that Rampage, BJ, Jim Brown, Baroni, Tank, and Sylvia’s lines were all meant to be taken as a joke. But you couldn’t figure that out.
February 9th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
This is a pretty awful list. I think the other posters have covered why the BJ, Baroni, and Sylvia quotes are not dumb, but I think the Tank one is hilarious. Do you remember Severn? He looked like fat Freddy Mercury, and his fighting style is best described as taking someone down and laying on them for a half an hour.
February 9th, 2008 at 9:29 pm
What about Joe Rogan when he was interviewing the guy from the “Blade” tv series. The guy was also the actor who played Shaft and Joe said “I likes me some Shaft. Oops, that didn’t come out right”
February 9th, 2008 at 10:19 pm
I believe Wanderlei’s quote went more like this: “I want to fuck, fight Chuck here.. fight Chuck” although it is better for your post to have him say “I want to fuck, fight Chuck, fuck Chuck” I beleive you have misquoted him.
February 9th, 2008 at 11:22 pm
Some of you are just dumbasses. If you have even paid an ounce of attention to this site you will know the writers sense of humor. Tim Sylvia didn’t invent the saying? No shit, but Sylvia also didn’t understand what the fuck he was saying when he did. And he didn’t even quote it properly. BJ’s quote? If he just wanted to say he ate everything, rephrase it then, pot-head!
Baroni? Rocky or not, he’s a douche. JIm Brown? IMO, that quote could stand for all the dumbass things he says everytime he’s on TV.
And I think SSilva is also off on quoting Wandi, but either way, it still sounds like he wants to fuck Liddell, which is just funny and dumb both. And TINFunny, writing that 3 or 4 quotes are not dumb out of ten makes you kind of dumb.
Read some of the site’s shit. And learn to understand sarcasm. This list is fun.
February 10th, 2008 at 1:05 am
I have some Dirty Joe Rogan quotes:
“Well you see, Brazilian JiuJitsu Blackbelts have a blackbelt in…… Brazilian JiuJitsu”
“A lot of times, you beat a person who beat a person who can beat you.
I mean, it doesn’t make any sense.”
“Rampage looks so calm. Like hes going to the grocery store to
meet some friends.”
and of course who can forget: “If Tyson Griffin was a girl, I’d say he has a badonkadonk.”
There are so many more but those are just the ones i remembered/looked up when i started documenting. I hope Rampage NEVER retires so he can keep giving us pure poetry every time he opens his mouth. One of my favorites is:
“Then i thought ‘i better do somethin’ or else danny gon’ kick my ass!’”
February 10th, 2008 at 3:13 am
Rogan’s Heroes, you sound like the guy who tries to convince me that Dane Cook is hilarious, and I just don’t get the jokes. I get the jokes in this list. I understand sarcasm. This is not funny.
I have looked around at this site’s “shit”, and liked a lot of it, but this list is just filler. The only thing lazier than a top ten list, is a bad top ten list. Four out of ten are not dumb. So 60% is good for you. Keep setting that bar high jackass.
“Now, we’re not sure if Tank actually had the experience of being violated by Queen’s bandleader or if that was the first person who came to mind when he was asked how he felt.”
That is pure comedy GOLD. I bet when someone says, “This tastes like shit”, you are the comedic genius that says, “You have tasted shit?!?! Har de fucking har”. Die painfully.
February 10th, 2008 at 6:06 am
I felt that the BJ quote was meant to be funny. If I’d heard that from him, and not in this list, I would laugh at the joke, and not even ponder whether it was a mistake or not. Seems like his kind of humour.
February 10th, 2008 at 11:19 am
This Is Not Funny: I logged on this morning with a smile because I knew you would fall right into the trap I set for you.
Sometimes others are smarter.
Your response will prove if you get it or not.
February 10th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
Who remembers the infamous…”History will be made for the first time in History” at UFC 57? followed by the “This man needs no introduction, the famous…[pause and looks to his queue card]“
February 10th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
This is not funny: I totally agree
isn’t 90 percent of 50 percent……still 45%? Even though it is still a dumb comment, the comment this site makes about it is even dumber.
and tank’s comment is hilarious, i never saw the connection between freddie merc and dan the beast. classic.
and as far as jim brown goes…give the guy a break, he didn’t know any better and at least he didn’t try to pretend like he did…unlike some of the brilliant postings on this site.
shitty list, but passes the time when i’m at work nonetheless
February 10th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Yeah, this list really isn’t that good at all. Half of the quotes were MEANT to be sarcastic/funny/etc–NOT DUMB! Especially Penn’s. Are you going to say that everyone who tries to make a joke is making a dumb statement?
February 10th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
If you actually knew the context, the Jim Brown quote isn’t dumb at all. This was at an early UFC (possibly the first one), when a huge deal was made of the supposed variety of styles matching up in the octagon. In reality, styles pretty much went out the window and most fights degenerated into a wild, flailing bar brawl. Jim Brown voiced that observation in response to another commentator’s attempt to recognize styles being used.
For those of you trying to mathematically explain the Sylvia quote, Jesus Tapdancing Christ!
Many of these comments are obvious jokes or ironic comments that seem to have gone completely over the editor’s head.
February 10th, 2008 at 7:24 pm
You guys seriously think this list is OVER the editor’s head? Considering potato’s stories and humor, I’m guessing the editor knows what’s up. I agree with whoever said earlier that Tim S. probably didn’t even know what he was saying when he made the Berra comment, and that makes him dumb. But keep coming up with your 45% equations to defend him!
This list is an obvious dig at some fighters trying to be funny or witty with their quotes, so it comes off as dumb. And Shamrock is just dumber than dirt anyway.
And you guys need to learn the definition to ‘ironic’.
February 10th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
As in “humorously sarcastic or mocking; conveying an intended meaning obliquely”? After so much was made of “different” styles matching up, Jim Brown mocks the fact that the fights are not exemplifying any styles at all. That is an ironic comment.
Yes, given the explanations under each comment, I seriously think some of them are over the editor’s head. Not thinking someone’s joke is funny is one thing, but not recognizing it as a joke is another.
“Everyone knows what Atkins is, so if you add the carbs…well, then it’s not Atkins at all is it?” indicates the latter.
February 10th, 2008 at 10:03 pm
The BJ Penn quote was made intentionally, as a joke.
February 10th, 2008 at 10:33 pm
whoever4 wrote this is retarded.
“Half of this game is 90% mental.
thats a F***ing Yogi Berra Quote
February 10th, 2008 at 10:57 pm
top 48 dumbest posts
February 11th, 2008 at 11:49 am
FYI… Paul Buentello had previous asked the crowd “Are there any Paul Buentello fans out there tonight?” And then he said the first part of his usual tagline “Don’t fear me” And he expected the fans to finish it by saying “Fear the consequences” But because the fans were dead silent… he had to finish the tagline himself. Just watch any of his King Of The Cage bouts to hear him say the whole tagline without pause.
February 11th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
BJ Fan: you’re a dumbass
the 45% comment was not by any means defending Sylvia, i hate the bastard. i’m simply pointing out that the way the writer ripped the comment apart was stupid, he was calling it dumb because it doesn’t make sense mathematically…when it does. and for me to come up with a 45% “equation” as you said, is just ridiculous. if you need an equation to figure out that 90% of 50% is 45…then i’m surprised you can find the home row on the keyboard in order for you to type your retarded ass comments
February 11th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
Baroni’s comment isn’t dumb, it’s classic. He doesn’t belong on this list, but I’m glad you put it in there because it’s the funniest one on it.
February 11th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
I can’t believe this one didnt make it:
“Who knows what would have happened to him, aeronautically speaking.” - Dan Severn
February 11th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Looks like a couple of these picks are because the author has an axe to grind and wants to make some people look stupid. While i agree that most of them are funny quotes, i don’t particularly think these are the “stupidest.” The author, however, doesn’t seem to check his own material as some of these quotes were said in jest to begin with or taken completely out of context (like the buentello quote).
All in all a half-ass list that is mildly entertaining.
February 11th, 2008 at 11:29 pm
Quote: “Half of this game is 90% mental.”
I think you fail to see the true genius involved here.. What he is saying is that half (being 50%) of this game is 90% mental.. So actually he is saying 45% of the entire game is mental, considering 90% of 50% = 45%.
Thank you, thank you. Yes I did go to MIT.
February 12th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
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February 13th, 2008 at 11:06 am
…I fuckin love Rampage man, everything he says is pure gold…and that pic of Joe Rogan and Mike Goldberg is fuckin PRICELESS, I laughed til I cried!
February 15th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
Do a list of dumb Mike Goldberg quotes. He is the only one on this list that gets paid to talk. I can forgive a guy who gives/receives blows to the head for a living for saying something dumb, but who did Mike Goldberg blow for his job? He is TW (the worst).
February 17th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
I heard that there was a time when WWE was trying to get Goldberg as a new commentator, and UFC was considering hiring Jim Ross for the same job.
Rogan: He’s landing some good shots. HE’S GOT HIS BACK!
JR: STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD!
February 17th, 2008 at 11:45 pm
the 90% mental is a direct “Madden” quote from the ‘05 game
February 18th, 2008 at 10:29 am
I dont know if this has been posted within the past comments.
“NOT ALOT OF PEOPLE KNOW THIS..BUT, I’VE GOT JU-JITSU!”
-rampage. haha
February 20th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
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http://www.spymac.com/details/?2345083
February 20th, 2008 at 8:39 pm
well sammie doesn’t get it but jay whitlow and eric y think that it is all a bunch of red-neck bullcrap.
February 26th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
*The Tim Sylvia quote is actually a quote from the late baseball great Yogi Bera (sp?) It goes Baseball is 90% half mental.
*The Bj Penn quote is funny–I think he meant I eat alot of meat and whatever the hell else too. It’s actually a witty way to put it.
February 26th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
What about after the Pride riot between Mark Coleman and Wanderlei Silva, Wandy shouting “You kick me! You kick my face in the ground! You too!” sounded hilarious with his accent
February 26th, 2008 at 10:33 pm
Tim Sylvia is quoting Yogi Berra (hall of fame Yankee catcher). Yogi was known for weird/funny quotes. Looks like you’re the dumb ass.
February 27th, 2008 at 12:35 am
WOW, I can’t believe how pissed off some people get at this list! I mean c’mon, lighten up a little bit, it’s just a little bit of information that was for your entertainment. I was just hoping for more people to come up with quotes that were missed in the list. I can’t quote it exactly, but I thought it was funny and somewhat awkward when Diego Sanchez won the ultimate fighter finale against Kenny Florian and when being interviewed he went on some emotional rant about who he thanked and went on about god and wanted to thank everyone he could think of off the top of his head until Joe Rogan basically yanked the microphone away from his face. I’m not really doing it any justice, but if you watch it, it’s pretty funny.
March 12th, 2008 at 11:37 pm
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March 13th, 2008 at 10:01 am
how many of you actually read the other comments before you post?? could you please continue to repeat the same stuff over and over…i dont think i fully understand….assclowns
March 15th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
The Quote: “I fight because I can’t sing, I can’t dance, and it beats working all day.Well Phil Baroni copied that from the movie rocky
March 23rd, 2008 at 11:04 pm
lol all this shit was funny…keep it going