(Small man, big money.)

It was announced today that boxing superstar Floyd Mayweather Jr. will pocket a very-real $20 million for fake-fighting “Big Show” at WrestleMania XXIV in Orlando on March 30. Let’s put that figure into perspective: $20,000,000 is 40 times more than the UFC’s highest-paid star, Chuck Liddell, made for real-fighting Wanderlei Silva. It’s 166 times more than Anderson Silva made for his last title defense. If you laid every one of those dollars end-to-end, it would stretch from Mayweather’s ass to the back of the garage he keeps his Bentleys in.

“Wrestling takes care of business right on the spot,” Mayweather said in the AP article. “There’s no waiting three, four, five months. Quick results, quick money. Quick big money, too.” And at the press conference, this happened:

Mayweather incited the couple hundred of already hyped fans at Staples Center by whipping out a thick wad of cash and repeatedly tossing $100, $50 and $20 bills into the crowd that had nearly as many women as men.

A mad scramble ensued, with a light pole nearly getting knocked over and two small children caught in the chaos.

As Mayweather’s manager Leonard Ellerbe very astutely put it, “Either I’m going to be a genius with this or I’m the biggest idiot.” Hey, why not both?

One of the most embarrassing aspects of pro wrestling (and there are many) is that it forces men to trash-talk about a fight that isn’t even real. A WrestleMania XXIV preview on WWE.com quotes Big Show as saying “At WrestleMania, I’m going to show you that wrestling can hurt…Look at the size of my fist. It’s the size of your head. Once you get a load of this, it’s ‘BOOM!’ You’re out.” Paul? Something tells me you’re going to lose this one.

Let’s hope this doesn’t distract Floyd from his budding MMA career. Oh, you already forgot about that, didn’t you?

Related: Stripper admits Oscar De La Hoya Drag Pics are fake (site sorta NSFW)

There are so many things about this video that confuse me — the three-minute first round, the standing 8-count, the “hey, no hitting!” stoppage at 2:39 — but basically what you’re watching here is kickboxer Ray Sefo beat the crap out of Min Soo Kim in Sefo’s MMA debut at K-1 Hero’s 2 (7/6/05). If you’re an expert on K-1 history, let us know if the Hero’s rules were all screwy in the promotion’s early days, or if they’re using a hybrid kickboxing/MMA rule-set to ease Sugarfoot Sefo into the world of MMA. Anyway, despite his serviceable grappling, Kim is basically knocked out twice at the beginning of the second round — once by a kick, once by a punch. Since Sefo (along with roommate Jan Nortje) just joined Xtreme Couture’s fight team, we’ll hopefully see more beatings like this in the future.

(“I’m ready to go in there and shock the world.”)

By CagePotato Special Contributor Ben Fowlkes

Chris Wilson is in a difficult spot. The Team Quest welterweight and former member of the IFL’s Portland Wolfpack was offered his first UFC fight just a few weeks ago, against one of their toughest, most highly touted 170-pound contenders: Jon Fitch. Of course he accepted, but now oddsmakers have him as one of the biggest underdogs going into UFC 82. In this exclusive interview he indulges in a little straight-talk about taking a pay cut to fight in the Octagon, training with Dan Henderson, and how he plans to prove everyone wrong on Saturday night.

CagePotato: Jon Fitch is obviously a tough fighter, and he’s riding a fourteen-fight win streak. What are you expecting from him and how are you planning to deal with it?
Chris Wilson: I expect him to come in and do the things he does best, which is throw hard punches, try to get you in a corner, and get on top. That’s his game plan. That’s where he’s most comfortable and that’s what’s worked for him, and I don’t see him trying to change that now. If he were looking to come in and show how good his striking is, I think he would try and do it against someone with much less chance of knocking him out. But if he’s going to stand in front of me it will make his night a lot harder.

A lot of people talk about Octagon jitters when a guy has his first UFC fight. You’ve fought in front of big crowds before in several different organizations, so how do you think your first UFC fight will affect you?
It’s hard for me to say that I won’t be affected by it because I haven’t been there yet. But like you said, I have fought in front of crowds of many thousands of people. Maybe not as many as the UFC brings in, but I know what that kind of pressure feels like. There are certain things that I think will help me deal with it. Being an underdog helps take some of the pressure off me. Also, it helps that I’ve been to UFC events and cornered my teammates there. I’ve walked through that tunnel and out into the arena with the screaming fans. Even if it wasn’t me who was fighting that night, at least I know what to expect. I guess I just have to wait and see.

(Cro Cop still without an opponent for DREAM 1.)

The new Japanese DREAM organization from FEG and DSE has announced – via press conference and their website – the addition of three more fights to their debut event, DREAM 1, on March 15th. The show will of course go down in Japan.

Gesias “JZ” Calvancante vs. Shinya Aoki has already been announced for DREAM’s 16-man lightweight tourney, and now they have added Tatsuya Kawajiri against Kultar “Black Mamba” Gill, Joachim Hansen versus Kotetsu Boku, and Kazuyuki Miyata facing Luiz Firmino. Andre Amade, Mitsuhiro Ishida, Caol Uno, Gilbert Melendez, Artur Oumakhanov, and Jung Bu-Kyung, are all expected to fight in the tournament as well but opponents have not been named.

Aside from the Lightweight Grand Prix, Cro Cop may also fight at the event. No opponent has been named, although it’s being reported that Ray Sefo has turned down the fight – via the Xtreme Couture blog. The fighter didn’t feel he had enough time to prepare since the match was just offered to him last week. He does hope to fight Cro Cop, maybe even this summer. So a Cro Cop fight is still up in the air for March 15th.

(Perfectly legal, mind you.)

Ah, the good old days — when men were men, women were women, and ballsacks could be repeatedly pummeled inside the Octagon without Big John McCarthy doing a damn thing about it. Above, of course, is the fateful UFC 4 fight between Keith “By Any Means Necessary” Hackney, and Joe Son (who later appeared as Random Task in the first Austin Powers movie). By the late ’90s, rule changes had made mixed martial arts look somewhat civilized, and dozens of attacks/holds/gouges were deemed verboten. But regrettably, accidents still happen. And now, our favorite “accidents” ever…

7. Anderson Silva upkicks Yushin Okami

Before The Spider was the deadliest dude in the UFC, he was just a guy trying to get Yushin Okami the fuck off of him at Rumble on the Rock 8. His knockout kick was a crowd pleaser, but unfortunately he was DQ’d on a technicality — Okami’s knees were down.

6. Andrei Arlovski rabbit-punches Marcio Cruz
After back-to-back losses at the hands of Tim Sylvia, Arlovski was dying for a win, and he wasn’t above fighting dirty to get it. When the opportunity presented itself at UFC 66, the Pitbull started whaling on the back of Marcio Cruz’s head. Herb Dean gave him a warning. Arlovski kept doing it. Herb Dean warned him again. Arlovski kept doing it. Herb Dean stopped the fight and gave Andrei the win. Love that Herb Dean.

MMA Weekly has just added a fight between Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou and Kazuhiro Nakamura to its UFC 84 rumors page. Nakamura is an 11-7 PRIDE vet who lost a unanimous decision to Lyoto Machida during his Octagon debut at UFC 76 last September; he holds wins over Kevin Randleman, Murilo Bustamante, and Igor Vovchanchyn. If the match holds up, UFC 84 — slated to be held May 24th in Las Vegas — would be a memorably badass night. Here’s what the main card currently looks like:

- B.J. Penn vs. Sean Sherk (confirmed; for lightweight championship)
- Tito Ortiz vs. Lyoto Machida (confirmed; will likely be Ortiz’s last fight in the UFC)
- Wanderlei Silva vs. Keith Jardine (confirmed)
- Rashad Evans vs. Thiago Silva (likely)
- Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou vs. Kazuhiro Nakamura (rumored)

That’s more light-heavyweight action than we can handle. Theoretically, one of UFC 84′s lower-profile fights — Wilson Gouveia vs. Goran Reljic and Rousimar Palhares vs. Ivan Salaverry have also been scheduled — could be swapped in for Evans/Silva or Sokoudjou/Nakamura on the main card. It would blow if the UFC sacrificed big names for variety, but we wouldn’t put it past them.

If this had happened a few weeks earlier, it might have made our Best Street Fight Videos list – even if it wasn’t much of a fight. Recently, former “Desperate Housewives” actor Jesse Metcalf demonstrated how to pretend you’re a bad ass, when you’re really just shitting your pants and trying not to cry because you got jacked with a monster right.

Were those four or five ounce gloves the small dude was wearing? I must admit I get great pleasure in seeing this priss get taken to the ground. And his reaction after the punch makes it even funnier. He waits just long enough so his posse of secret service dudes shuttle the offender away, then pretends like he wants to brawl. “What the fuck?”, apparently being the key phrase that makes you look tough. I’ll tell you WTF: you got punished for what you did in the video below.

What the fuck indeed. Now I want to punch you, Jesse Metcalf. I hope Joe Rogan meets him at a Hollywood party and chokes him out.

(Future MMA heavyweight champ?)

Slower than molasses today. Here are some snippets for ya’:

— Jon Fitch talked to 5oz of Pain recently about who he thinks are the next big things in MMA coming from his camp, AKA (via MMA Fightline).

There are two guys that stick out the most. One is another Purdue wrestler that just graduated named Nathan Moore. He’s been training with me out here and he was also a team captain at Purdue. He fights at 185 (pounds). Tremendous ability. He’s more of an athlete than I am and a better wrestler than I am. He’s picking up the striking and jiu-jitsu very quickly so he’s a name to watch out for in the next couple of years.

And then the biggest one is Cain Velasquez. I like to call him “Sugar Cain.” He’s a heavyweight and he’s the biggest and baddest heavyweight you guys have ever seen. He’s going to turn the heavyweight world upside down in another year or two. Nobody is going to be talking about Kimbo. Nobody is going to be talking about Fedor or Randy. Everybody is going to be talking about Cain.

…he’s fought a couple of fights for Bodog. The problem is that we can’t find fights for him because won’t just take fights against him. I think what’s going to happen is that he’s going to fight at UFC 83. I think he’s got a fight and they’ve got him on that card. So he’ll be making his debut, I think, at UFC 83. I’m not 100 percent sure on that but he’s been training for that and I think that’s going to happen. He’s tough. He was an All-American at Arizona State. He’s just a tremendous athlete.

Bold statements. We’ll wait this one out.

— I was disappointed with Dan Henderson‘s appearance on “Rome Is Burning” this afternoon. Hendo may not be the greatest interviewee, but Rome mostly just stuck to softball questions that didn’t give us much new info or stoke the UFC 82 fires. There is to be a second appearance on “Rome” this week by Hendo, so maybe then we’ll get a better scoop.

— David Loiseau will be the headliner for “HCF: Crow’s Nest” when he faces Todd Gouwenberg on March 29th in Quebec. Loiseau’s nickname is “The Crow”. Get it…”Crow’s Nest”? Originally, “Cyborg” Santos was going to be in the fight, but Gouwenberg stepped in after Santos was dropped by HCF because he plans to fight in a World Victory Road show coming up. The Crow is 1-4 in his last five. Grouwenberg is 4-1 during that stretch.

(Koscheck — unapologetically weird-looking.)

Somehow we slept on this one when it was published Friday, but FiveOuncesofPain recently interviewed Josh Koscheck and got him to not comment on the current state of his contract with the UFC — and you know what that means. The juicy bit:

Adam Morgan: There’s been a lot of talk about contracts and pay in the UFC right now. Are you happy with your current deal?
Josh Koscheck: I’m just gonna say no comment with that and just avoid the question altogether. It’s tough times right now and I’m gonna be coming up for a renegotiation of my contract after this fight. I’ll let my managers do all that. I don’t want to have anything to do with it. That’s why I have an awesome manager, Zinkin.tv, probably one of the best management companies in the world right now in mixed martial arts. I’ll let them handle that and I’m just gonna not comment on it. That’s their job and my job is to fight.

Are you still on your Ultimate Fighter contract? And is this the last fight on it?
Yes I am. I’ve fulfilled my nine fights and now there’s just time remaining on the contract but I didn’t just want to sit around for 8 or 9 months so I decided to just fight again.

We’d previously wondered what Koscheck and Diego Sanchez did to deserve being stuck on the undercard of UFC 82, and now it smells like Kos might be in the same boat as Andrei Arlovski; he was at the end of his contract, his management and Zuffa couldn’t see eye-to-eye during re-negotiations, and now he’s being punished with a dark match for what could be his last fight inside the Octagon. If the UFC has been paying Kos the same rate since the first Ultimate Fighter Finale in April 2005, it’s safe to say that he’s been underpaid for a while, and deserves a little extra. I don’t know if DeWayne Zinkin is demanding some outrageous figure for his client, but if you’re the UFC, it would probably be a good idea to keep your mid-level stars happy, when the big names are waltzing out the door, one by one. And if Diego Sanchez signed a contract at the same time Koscheck did (we can only assume), could this little drama be playing out with him as well? Is the UFC 82 undercard just a big graveyard for stalled contract talks?

Well, here it is — your main event from Strikeforce: At the Dome. Watch as Sapp starts running for his life at the 3:37 mark. By the way, Nortje’s “14-12 MMA record” is a complete fabrication. But then again, Bob Sapp was never an “NFL star.”

(Partnering with the WWE for MMA events is not something to cheer about, Dude.)

In an e-mail exchange with Mark Cuban on Thursday, The Edmonton Sun posed some questions regarding the 49-year-old gazillionaire’s involvement in MMA and where HDNet’s participation in the sport was headed. Cuban’s HDNet most recently broadcast MFC 15: Rags to Riches last Friday, where Pete Spratt was choked out by Ryan Ford. The channel has been partnering with several organizations this year to become the MMA broadcast king – including showing their own HDNet Fights.

Q: Why did you decide to carry so much MMA content on HDNet? (The channel has created the HDNet Fights brand.)
A: “We think MMA is just starting to take off. It’s a great sport that combines athleticism and strategy and of course toughness that is just starting to go mainstream.

“It’s a great opportunity for HDNet to gain viewers in the U.S. and Canada.”

Cuban goes on to speak of his love for MMA and his plans to attend scores of live events in the near future. And he plans on keeping HDNet on track to get MMA in every house.

With “Pride of a Champion” only five days away, it’s time to get in that Octagon mood again. To that end…

Dangerous Dan Henderson talks about his upcoming matchup with Anderson Silva and what he learned from his loss to Quentin Jackson:

(Parts 2-4 to this interview can be found here.)

Our platonic girl-buddy Joanne from the MMA Girls gives her rundown of 82′s fights. She’s calling it for Dan Henderson in a decision over Anderson Silva (partially on the basis of his clothing company’s name), Alessio Sakara over Chris Leben (based on women’s intuition), and Evan Tanner over Yushin Okami, but advises you not to bet money on her predictions.

— A new MMA rankings site called MMA Hitlist breaks down Pride of a Champion based on something called “Fighter Value.” According to their calculations, Anderson Silva will destroy Dan Henderson, while Koscheck and Arlovski will just barely come away with victories.

— “UFC 82 Countdown: Silva vs. Henderson” debuts tonight at 11 p.m. on SpikeTV, with replays next Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. Or, you could just spring for DVR service like a civilized person.

— I’ll be flying out to Columbus on Saturday to attend the show. If you’ll be there too and you know of any afterparties with free booze, be a doll and let us know.

When Don Frye, Oleg Taktarov, Gary Goodridge or Maurice Smith book an MMA match at the ripe age of forty-something, it’s an event. When 53-year-old Dan Severn fights, it’s just something to do on a Saturday night after the early-bird special. Since his MMA debut at UFC 4 in December 1994, “The Beast” (the original one, not the God-awful one) has never fought less than five times in a given year, and has racked up a record of 83-15-7 along the way. Last year he went 7-1; in 2004, he fought a full 12 times.

And he’s not making his living in big-money freak-show matches against other throwbacks, either, but in small regional promotions, far away from any kind of mainstream recognition. Severn fights because he loves it, not to prove a point. According to this press release, his next bout will be against Irish brawler Colin Robinson at a MAX Xtreme Fighting event in Belfast on March 9th. Even though Robinson hasn’t looked very slick in his UFC appearances — Eddie Sanchez TKO’d him at UFC 72, and he suffered a bizarre 17-second loss to Antoni Hardonk at UFC 80 — there’s no way he’ll take it easy on the old man, especially in front of an Irish crowd.

Anyway, we just wanted to give it up for one of MMA’s true pioneers. Now enjoy this video of Severn making his UFC debut at the expense of Anthony Macias’s spine. (Holy Christ, those suplexes.) This was back in the good ol’ days, before there were weight divisions, and when baby-blue high-top Asics were an acceptable part of a fighter’s attire.

(Props: FightOpinion)

Here’s the Riggs/Devela fight from Saturday’s Strikeforce event, which shows just how Riggs got his back effed up.

Says agent Ken Pavia in an e-mail to CagePotato:

[Joe] is having a procedure this week where they freeze a nerve. Disc is impinging on nerve now. Similar pain to a broken hip. He is ok though.

After the surgery, they’ll know more regarding how long Riggs will be out of action. We’ll keep you posted.

(Combined weight: 689 pounds. Combined talent: 25 milligrams. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

I’d like to congratulate everyone who put money on +450 underdog Jan Nortje in his Strikeforce headlining match against Bob Sapp last night — you are officially smarter than a 5th grader. Video of the fight will be posted early this week in case you missed it (and honestly, how many of you subscribe to HDNet?) but wow, what a performance. The Beast rushed out after the bell and immediately got caught with a punch, then clinched and pushed Nortje into the fence. After some fat-man hugging, the two super-heavyweights separated and Sapp stuck Nortje with some stiff jabs. But as soon as Notje got the chance to throw some leather, Bob winced, ran in the other direction, and fell to the mat, where Nortje pounded him until the ref stopped it at 55 seconds into the first. Classic Sapp. Now are you ready to retire, dickhead?

But it wasn’t all slapstick comedy at the Tacoma Dome. Joe Riggs had to be carried out on a stretcher after his submission-via-agony loss to Cory Devela. Riggs and Devela clinched early in round 1, and Devela broke the stalemate with a hip throw that slammed Riggs hard onto his back. Not only was the pain immediately apparent on Riggs’s face, but he barely had the strength to tap out; the ref called it at 1:22 of the first round. Unable to get to his feet, paramedics had to remove the former UFC fighter from the cage. Making the scene even more brutal, Riggs’s entire body seemed to spasm involuntarily while he was laid out. For a guy who was previously addicted to painkillers, Riggs will have a tough road ahead of him, even if the prognosis is just a few slipped discs. We’ll update you when you know more.

In the evening’s other notable match, 46-year-old former UFC heavyweight champ Maurice Smith spolied the MMA debut of 41-year-old kickboxer Rick “The Jet” Roufus. Roufus was totally lost once Smith shot in for a takedown, and Mo’ was able to get full mount and tap Roufus with an armlock at 1:53 of round one. It was the second fight in Smith’s current farewell-tour; he stepped away from the game in 2000, but returned to action with a TKO victory over Marco Ruas at an IFL event last May.

The night’s other matches weren’t nearly as exciting, unless you dig slow three-rounders fought by guys you’ve never heard of. But here’s how they turned out:

Eddy Ellis def. Steve Berger via unanimous decision
Jorge Masvidal def. Ryan Healy via unanimous decision
Mychal Clark def. Josh Bennett via TKO (doctor’s stoppage), end of round 2
Lyle Beerbohm def. Ray Perales via submission (guillotine choke), 1:19 into round 3
Mike Hayes def. Matt Kovacs via unanimous decision
Zach Skinner def. Scott Shaffer via unanimous decision
Nathan Coy def. Dave Courchaine via KO (punch), 1:46 into round 1

(Sir Robert Sapp, middle, headlines Da’ Dome tonight.)

I’m in the mood to check out some of the weekend’s news, so how ’bout it?

— Wanderlei Silva is close to putting his ink on an agreement to fight Keith Jardine. Rumors have been flying about this one, but now Wandy is confirming the showdown will be for UFC 84. There is an English version on Wandy’s official blog if you prefer the Americanized version – just click on the US flag in the upper right corner. This adds to a fight card that also includes B.J. Penn v Sean Sherk, Lyoto Machida v Tito Ortiz, Rashad Evans v Thiago Silva, among others. The show will be on May 24th in Vegas.

— Speaking of UFC 84, tickets will be available for the event via an exclusive presale on February 28th. (From MMA Mania)

— Brock Lesnar’s next showing could be against Justin McCully at UFC 85. The fighter was on Friday’s episode of HDNet’s “Inside MMA” and said he is in discussions with the UFC to face the much-hyped ex-pro wrestler/ex-NFL player. McCully’s words: “We’ve been talking about fighting this big huge guy that just crossed over from some wrestling promotion. Thats in talks right now. We’ll see what happens. I hope it comes through. I really like the fight.” Regardless if it’s Lesnar or not, McCully claims he’s coming back this summer.

(YAMMA’s next “Super Fight” contestants.)

— You guys rocked it again as we gave away our last copies of Chuck Liddell’s Iceman: My Fighting Life. And don’t forget to contribute to the latest challenge we tossed at ya’.

— The EliteXC paid Kimbo serious cheddar. The other fighters not so much. But at least they attempted to ‘splain their $1 payday.

— YAMMA added to their “Old Farts Throwin’ Down” debut event.

— We continued shaking our heads at the Xyience mess.

— Kimbo videos got some play, including episode two of “WWKD?” and a Showtime Short.

— Sick submissions. Believe it.

— UFC Fight Night 13 was upped to three hours and gained another fight.

— News came at you in nuggets, morsels, bits, and small potatoes.

— Wandy and Baroni made love, not war.

— MMA reality series continued to be churned out of the crap factory.

— We talked chicks – and CP reader Anonymous obviously has a score to settle with Kim Couture.

Enjoy the weekend. We’ll do this all again next week!

It’s Friday, and past 5 p.m. (hint, hint), so you might be interested in watching Kimbo Slice try to sing a Kelly Clarkson song in this new Showtime promo. And if not, hey, no worries.

(Dude does a mean Truffle Shuffle.)

— The fight card for Sengoku‘s first show has been announced. Scheduled to go down March 5th in Tokyo, the event is headlined by Josh Barnett’s fight against champion judoka/mediocre MMA fighter Hidehiko Yoshida, which Barnett should win handily. Sengoku 1 also features bouts between Takanori Gomi and Duane “Bang” Ludwig, and Kazuo Misaki vs. Siyar Bahadurzada.

— Jens Pulver choked Cub Swanson directly into the minor leagues. Swanson faces Donny “Eagle Eye” Walker at IFBL Fight Night 11 tomorrow night in Niles, Ohio. Sucks to be you, brah!

— TUF 6 castmember Jon “War Machine” Koppenhaver will receive no jail time for that little shirtless misunderstanding he had last September.

— Did we hear that right? Did Bob Sapp say he can actually run for ten straight minutes?

— Chuck Liddell proves he’s no less intelligent than the average American during his disastrous performance on highbrow NPR quiz show “Wait Wait…Don’t Tell Me!” Not sure who advised him that this would be a good idea, but they should be taken off the payroll immediately. (To save yourself a whole lotta boredom, skip past the first five minutes.)

So Gary Goodridge will be taking on Butterbean in April, and tomorrow’s Strikeforce event will feature Bob Sapp against 1-5 Euro-can Jan Nortje. If you’re curious about Goodridge and Nortje’s current skill level, just watch this sad match from K-1 HERO’s 8 (3/12/07), where Goodridge takes piles of abuse in one of the roughest, stupidest rope-a-dopes ever, then pounds back when Nortje is completely gassed. Again, Sapp is a -600 favorite in tomorrow’s match, even though his usual game plan (slug away all your energy then fall over) is exactly the same as Nortje’s. Anyway.

And because commenter “fightfan” asked for it, here’s Goodridge’s November 2005 loss against Glaube Feitosa in a K-1 kickboxing championship match. Watch as Feitosa knocks out Gary’s front teeth at 3:44, and recoil in horror during the slo-mo replay at 5:08.

8. Ivan Salaverry’s Anaconda Body Lock

Unfortunately, we could only find evidence of Salaverry’s UFC 50 match against Tony Fryklund in a poorly-soundtracked highlight video, but skip to the 1:51 mark and watch as Salaverry takes Fryklund’s back and squeezes until “The Freak” taps out in agony.

7. Frank Mir’s Kneebar

Frank Mir took a beating from Brock Lesnar during the ex-WWE star’s UFC debut at “Rapid Fire.” But Mir patiently waited for an opening and capitalized against a technique-deficient Lesnar.

6. Nick Diaz’s Gogoplata

Nick Diaz and Takanori Gomi were in a fucking war at PRIDE 33. When it went to the ground in round two, Diaz unleashed his BJJ to wrap up a perfect G.

(Don’t worry, Butterbean: We don’t think Gary’s creaky hips will allow any flying kicks.)

In addition to a previously reported fight between UFC throwbacks Don Frye and Oleg Taktarov, YAMMA Pit Fighting’s inaugural show on April 11th will also feature a second “Masters SuperFight” bout between Eric “Butterbean” Esch and Gary Goodridge. We’re not sure what Esch is a “master” at, other than swallowing basketballs whole without chewing, but he’s built up a decent 11-5 MMA record since 2003, with wins over Wesley Correira and James Thompson; his last fight was a submission loss to Nick Penner at TFC: First Blood in December.

Gary “Big Daddy” Goodridge is probably best known for his horrific knockout-by-elbows of Paul Herrera in his Octagon debut at UFC 8 (2/16/96). He later jobbed through a mediocre career in PRIDE, then moved to K-1 HERO’s where he built up a 3-1 record since 2005. His last fight was a TKO victory last March over Jan Nortje (more on that later). Fun fact: The average age of the four men booked for YAMMA’s Masters SuperFights is 41.

As for the eight-man heavyweight tournament that YAMMA also has planned for its debut show, the word is that Wes Sims, Chris Guillen, and Travis Wiuff will participate. Here’s hoping that Bob Meyrowitz‘s new spectacle doesn’t get MMA re-banned across the country. And good luck turning a profit. This sort of thing tends to suck up money faster than Butterbean sucks up pans of lasagna.

Well, some of you sons-of-bitches are going to be pissed after this one. With the last signed copy of Iceman: My Fighting Life up for grabs, over 150 captions were submitted, and you guys were throwing straight fire. Unfortunately, less prizes + more entries = disappointment. Will you agree with our choice? Probably not. But with so many awesome captions, we had to pick the one that gave us the most unexpected laugh. Check out the honorable mentions below, and the winner after the jump. Special bro-grabs to Dutton Books for making this whole thing possible!

Frank: GSP taking the bitches out for a walk

Dudeman: Josh Koscheck…The Ultimate Pooper Scooper

BG75: The odd couple 2: Napoleon and Sisqo

dleacock: Ultimate Fancy Championship

SikSik6: No really Josh, seriously, your gameplan against GSP was a good one……for me to poop on.

Niceguyeddie:

John-01: Matt Serra never saw his dog again….

The BOOG: Anything less.. would be uncircumcised.

Wyatt: F*cking French Canadians…

First off, Hendo has dentures? If anyone knows the story behind his tooth-loss — which we assume came suddenly and violently — please let us know in the comments.

(CombatLifestyle.com via BloodyElbow)

Also, if you know how this particular prom night ended, we’d love to hear about it.

When there’s an MMA event, medical suspensions are sure to follow. The Florida State Boxing Commission has dropped their list of suspended fighters from the EliteXC: Street Certified joint that happened in Miami last Saturday. (Props MMA on Tap)

Tank Abbott got a 60 day medical suspension because he got KTFO by Kimbo. Joining Tank on the 60-day list were James Thompson, Kyle Noke, John Doyle, and Edson Berto. Mario Rinaldi wasn’t KO’d but got the shit kicked out of him by Dave Herman, so he also earned 60 days on hold. On that note, Dave Herman and Jirka Hivati – who made $500 for the night – were told they must be cleared by a doctor before being allowed back in the cage. Herman due to a knee injury and Hivati because of a laceration on his face.

Let’s talk more suspensions, shall we? The California State Athletic Commission has fined and suspended two fighters for dancing with mary jane. The fighters – Mike Moreno and Jermaine Wilson – both fought last Saturday at the Total Combat 26 show that went down in San Diego. Mike Moreno will be out of action until May 16th and was fined $500 (maybe he can get Jirka Hivati to cover his fine). Jermaine Wilson is out until August 14th and was fined $1,000. Wilson’s penalty was a bit stiffer because it was his second marijuana offense in three months – his pro record is two fights, two lossess, and two suspensions due to drug use. That’s rollin’ Kendall Grove style.

Only four out of the fourteen fighters at the event were tested and half tested positive for drugs. And both fighters lost via submissions, so what does that tell you, Kids? If you’re going to toke it up, improve your takedown defense.

On a side note, Total Combat’s ring girls are called the Combat Dolls. They deserve close inspection…trust me.

— UFC Daily is reporting that UFC middie Chris Leben has inked a new deal with the organization that kicks his dough up to $25k to appear and $25k to win. That’s an increase of $15k per category. No word on how long the deal is for. The next fight for Leben is a mere week away – March 1st at UFC 82 versus Alessio Sakara. The colorful-haired fighter has been in the UFC since April ’05 and is 7-3 in the organization. He’s 17-4 overall.

— Dan Henderson spoke to the Orange County Register about seeing Anderson Silva in PRIDE and why he thinks he’ll win next Saturday at UFC 82:

“I think he is a tough guy and very skilled but I wouldn’t consider him the top pound-for-pound fighter, just because I’ve seen more of his past than what the U.S. crowd has in the UFC. The guys he’s fought in the UFC really complement his style. I expected him to walk through most of those guys. He’s very skilled on his feet. The guys he’s fought aren’t very good wrestlers.”

This is a valid point and we know Henderson is one of the best. This is a war we’re jonsein’ for and it’s destined to be a classic. And who does Henderson think is the best pound-for-pounder?

A new Croatian interview with Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic (translated here) sheds a lot more light on the heavyweight’s reasons for leaving the UFC and his goals in the new DREAM organization and beyond. Some highlights:

On non-financial reasons for parting ways with the UFC: “I was in full training and wanted to compete in March. However, the UFC couldn’t find me an opponent that fast and I didn’t want to stop my preparations and start all over again for a match in May. Besides I was HUNGRY for a fight and nervous (anxious) like a dog…I asked for a rematch with Gonzaga but that was not possible because he lost to Werdum. Then I asked for Kongo but that wasn’t possible either.”

On business practices that will eventually screw him: “Although I didn’t sign any contract [with DREAM] we came to an agreement for 3 fights in March, June and September. I never had written contracts with the Japanese because we have always done business by oral agreement.”

On returning to the UFC: “I’m going to go back to the UFC without a doubt…The date of return depends on a possible fight with Fedor. The fight should take place on 31st December if Fedor accepts. If that fails I’ll be back in the UFC by the end of this year.”

On his “psychological crisis”: “I lost that killer instinct. I lost 5kg (10lb) before the fight with Kongo, I had a hard time wanting to train and on the day of the fight I thought to myself: Why do I even need this, why am I fighting a guy I have never seen before. I was fed up with it all.”

On diplomacy: “I have managed to come to terms with Dana and I’m thankful for his cooperation and understanding.”

Wow, so Fedor could potentially get a legitimate opponent at the end of this year? Crossed fingers! Emelianenko previously won a lackluster decision over Filipovic at PRIDE Final Conflict 2005 — Fedor was injured, Cro Cop was jet-lagged — but whatever, it’s something. Filipovic will be fighting Mr. X at DREAM’s inaugural show at the Saitama Super Arena on March 15th.

(Props: MMAFightline.com)

Kim and Randy take us inside the Xtreme Couture gym, and give us unnecessary insight about the Couture-household chore-wheel.

Bill Goldberg’s lowlights from “Street Certified.” Gotta love the soap-opera staredown at 0:48 and the Kimbo ass-slap out of nowhere at 1:08.

(Props: BloodyElbow)

Our earlier mentions of Chute Boxe and rope-a-dope reminded us of this light heavyweight match from Cage Rage 15 (2/4/06), which could easily earn a place in our greatest fights of all-time list. The first round features as much slugging as you’d expect from these two, but it’s the second round that makes the fight legendary. Cyborg and Melvin become so exhausted from whaling on each other that at one point they can do little more than stand with their hands down and suck air. Luckily, Manhoef has a little extra in the tank. Watch Cyborg baby-punch Melvin’s lifeless body at the end — totally adorable. (Fight starts at the 2:26 mark.)