(Rodrigo Gracie [right] with great-uncle-thrice-removed-or-something Royce Gracie)

You think Fighting Fedor is a bad idea? Ho, baby. From a new press release on Reuters.com:

Rodrigo and Crosley Gracie have decided to co-produce a reality television show of mixed martial arts, combined with the Gracie Jiu Jitsu flavor, and a little drama. [Ed. note: Rodrigo and Crosley are cousins, and grandsons of Carlos Gracie.]

The reality show is based on true life grudges. Imagine a famous face knocking on your door. He/she shows you a photo. “Do you know who this is?” You know exactly who it is. He/she is the person with whom you have a grudge to settle. Then, without a clue as to where you are going, you are whisked off to an undisclosed location where you will be trained by one of the world famous Gracie Jiu Jitsu family members. Did you know that the person in the photo is also receiving the same treatment? Did you know that now is the chance to “Settle Your Grudge?”

The IFL announced this morning that Xtreme Couture middleweight contender Benji Radach has pulled out of the IFL’s 2008 season opener in Las Vegas on February 29th due to injury. Replacing him in the scheduled bout against World Class Fight Center’s Leopoldo Serao is a face that’s familiar to many — particularly Michael Bisping’s fists. Radach’s Xtreme Couture camp-mate Josh “Bring the Pain” Haynes, who competed as a light heavyweight on the third season of The Ultimate Fighter, will be stepping in to make his IFL debut as a 185-pounder. Haynes, who sports a Ken/Tank-esque 2-6 record in his last 8 professional fights, was optimistic about his chances against Brazilian submission-artist Serao:

“It’s a style matchup. You’ve got a jiu-jitsu guy coming in to face a standup striker and a brawler, and it’s just going to be one of those classic, who-can-impose their will kind of fights. This is something I’ve been looking forward to for a while. I think this kid will come to bang and if he stands in front of me he’ll go to sleep. I love the opportunity and I love the matchup.”

Following his loss to Michael Bisping at the TUF 3 finale, Haynes lost a decision to Rory Singer, was knocked out by Luke Cummo, and was dropped from the UFC. His last fight was a knockout loss to Cedric Marks at XCF Battlegrounds in November. Now, for your viewing displeasure, we present Haynes’s fight against Singer, as narrated by some punk-ass 12-year-old:

Fedor Emelianenko rolled through three opponents last Thursday in St. Petersburg to win the 2008 Russian Combat Sambo Championship. His first two matches lasted just 35 and 10 seconds long, and his final match against Stanislav Shushko (who had a near-Hong Man-esque height advantage against Fedor) lasted a full minute. The video from that match is below. This is the third-straight year that Emelianenko has won the tournament, and fifth overall.

In other Fedor news, M1MixFight.com has posted a new preview video for an M-1 Global-sponsored reality show called Fighting Fedor, in which 16 MMA hopefuls will do battle for a chance to get their ass tore up by Mr. Emelianenko himself. I gotta say, this isn’t going to do much to deflect criticism that Fedor is avoiding high-level competition. The trailer even doesn’t mention if all these guys are even heavyweights (Update: it does, and they are) — or what channel this show might be on. But hey, great concept! The video doesn’t allow embedding, so go to M1MixFight.com and see for yourself…

Chris Leben, who was on the first TUF, has announced via his myspace fan club that he has inked a two-year extension with the UFC. This new deal pushes aside Leben’s old one which is used for TUF cast members. The new contract will pay Leben $25k to show and the same as a win bonus for each fight. That’s a $15k increase for both categories from his previous contract.

Leben is 17-4 and has gone 7-3 since starting up for the UFC. The Crippler has proven a great TV personality and draw for the UFC and he is next slated to bring his brand of controversy to UFC 82 on March 1st. Leben’s opponent will be Alessio Sakara, someone that Leben has said he respects, but:

“Honestly, as much respect as possible to him, but I really don’t think he deserves to be in the UFC. I haven’t seen him win the fights or do what he has to do to prove himself at this level. You know, we’re going to pressure him and test him and I’ll tell you what , he has a pretty good opportunity to prove himself if that’s what he wants to do.”

Leben made the above statement during the myspace fan club interview and his comments aren’t completely unfounded. Sakara is 3-3 with one NC since arriving on the UFC scene. Beating guys like Elvis Sinosic, Victor Valimaki and James Lee won’t even get you to the front of the line at The Sizzler. Sakara does have a lot to prove against Leben who, love or hate him, is a dynamic fighter who looks to be back on track after a stretch that saw him drop 3 of 4 fights, including one to Anderson Silva – which is hard to fault him for.

What, you didn’t think we tracked the dude down just so he could say hi to us? Tomorrow marks the premiere of What Would Kimbo Do?, an original series starring Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson that we put together with Break.com and ProElite.com. As the press release tells it:

The premise of each 30- to 60-second Webisode focuses on a down-on-his-luck guy facing a series of everyday dilemmas, but rather than just grin and bear it, Kimbo steps in and handles it in his own special way.

Obviously, we’re beyond ecstatic that a hair-brained idea hatched months ago is actually becoming a reality. Stop by tomorrow as we make history, and spread the word to all your Kimbo-lovin’ pals.

Also: We’re hoping that WWKD? is just the first step in taking CagePotato to “the next level” (whatever that may be). Right now, all the writing on this site is done by two dudes, and we could always use more help with reporting and features. If you’re interested in contributing to CagePotato on a freelance basis (yes, there’s money involved), e-mail feedback@cagepotato.com. Professional writing experience is a plus; original ideas are required.

Slated for release in April, Redbelt is a new film by writer/director David Mamet (Glengarry Glen Ross, Hannibal, The Untouchables) about a mixed martial arts instructor who’s forced to compete in prize bouts. (Or something.) The cast includes Randy Couture, Tim Allen, Chiwetel Ejiofor, brilliant card-manipulator/actor Ricky Jay, MMA pioneer Enson Inoue, and Brazilian-born model Caroline de Souza Correa, who has previously appeared in Star Wars: Episode III — Revenge of the Sith and The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (fittingly, as “Sexy Brazilian Model”). At the very least, her role should be enough for you to throw this one on your Netflix queue. If you need further persuasion, check out more pics of Caroline after the jump.

(Griffin and Bonnar: Enemies 4-eva.)

According to Yahoo! Sports, Stephan Bonnar tore ligaments in his knee during training last week and will be out for six months. As a result, he’ll be unable to fight Matt Hamill at Ultimate Fight Night 13 on 4/2. Said Bonnar: “I was doing nothing out of the ordinary, just working on my (jiu-jitsu) getting ready for my fight. I heard a pop and I thought, ‘Damn, what is this?’ I walked around on it a little, but when I got home, it was really stiff and swollen.” The American Psycho will have surgery soon in Los Angeles, where a ligament from a fucking cadaver will be placed into his knee. By the time his recovery period is over, Bonnar will have been inactive for 10 months (his last fight was a TKO victory over Eric Schafer at UFC 77 in October).

This blows, completely. Out of all the big fights at UFN 13, the Bonnar/Hammil match is the one we were most looking forward to. We hope the UFC can find a solid opponent for Matt Hammil so he’s not dropped from the card. In case Joe Silva is reading this, two possibilities come to mind:

Tim Boetsch: UFC fans want to see more of this guy after he kicked/slammed/punched the shit out of David Heath at UFC 81. With another fight or two at that same level of intensity, he’ll earn a place in the light-heavyweight division’s mid-range mix.

Wilson Gouveia: He’s been 4-0 in the UFC since losing to Keith Jardine at the Ultimate Fighter 3 finale, including his highlight-reel knockout of Jason Lambert at UFC 80. One more credible win and he’ll be ready for top-ten-caliber competition.

(Kim Couture has a long way to go before she’s in Gina’s league.)

HDNet Fights has announced in a press release that they will air an event featuring The Natural’s third wife, Kim Couture, on February 29th, exclusively on HDNet. “HDNet Fights Presents: The Debut of Kim Couture” was the title we were handed down. Here’s the lead-in to the announcement:

DALLAS (February 11, 2007) – Andrew Simon, CEO of HDNet Fights, announced today that HDNet will feature exclusive coverage of Kim Couture’s debut fight. Kim is the wife of MMA legend Randy “The Natural” Couture. Her debut will occur in a Boxing/Muay Thai Smoker, a mixed martial arts event, to be held at the Xtreme Couture Gym in Las Vegas, NV.

Talk about home field advantage. Might as well have held it in the Couture’s bedroom. Hmm, that just gave me an idea for my next reality show pitch. Anyway, the event will air after HDNet’s coverage of the network’s LIVE IFL show. There are to be eight fights, each consisting of three two-minute rounds. The event was originally announced as a February 23rd event against an unnamed opponent. The date has changed, but the name of the opponent is still a mystery.

(A ladies man, also named Leonard Garcia.)

With WEC 32 just a couple days away, some sites are picking up on last week’s MMA Weekly interview with Leonard “Bad Boy” Garcia. The Bad Boy was 9-1 and set to fight for the UFC starting in April of 2007. After a battle with Roger Huerta at UFC 69 for his debut loss, he fought twice more in the organization, taking his record to 10-3 overall.

“I was excited about being able to fight a guy as tough as Roger (Huerta), but this year I hope to do more. Last year I got my name out there, and I feel l should accomplish more than I did.

“Now that I’m going to be at 145, I think it is going to allow me to get to where and do the things I was supposed to do at 155. Last year it was good to get my name out there, but this year is the year I’m going to work towards achieving my goals and get a title somewhere. I’m a little bit faster and I look leaner. Strength-wise everybody thinks I feel stronger now than what I did. I’m doing more push-ups, pull-ups, and cleans, so I’m getting a lot stronger now at 145 than I was at 155.”

Garcia is now down to 145 and has moved over to the WEC and its already competitive featherweight club. Garcia will surely be in another exciting battle during WEC 32 when he faces Hiroyuki Takaya. Takaya is lightning quick and can strike with the best. Garcia is confident that he can beat Takaya and that it will be a great move for his career. And he also cautioned fans not to blink, because they might miss something.

On the WEC 32 injury front…

Jesse Moreng has injured his leg in training and has dropped out of his Wednesday night fight with Scott Jorgenson. The WEC has announced that local Team Jackson fighter Damacio Page will fill in for Moreng. Page is 9-3, to Jorgenson’s 4-1 record. The fight falls to the un-televised prelim card – not that being on the undercard these days means you suck – and it’s unclear if it will be a featherweight or bantamweight fight.

WEC 32 kicks off live on Versus at 9 pm (EST) this Wednesday.

Well, that was chaotic, wasn’t it? Luckily, commenter ‘Geoffr0y’ nailed all 5 answers at 2:43 p.m.:

1) A place of peace and prosperity (or as Chuck wrote, “House of Peace and Prosperity”)
2) Dana White
3) 2 kids by 2 mothers
4) Green
5) Jägermeister

Three minutes later, Geoffr0y realized the futility of this contest, and wrote: “Fuck this shit, we’re all just guessing. Whats the point of a contest where you have to already own the prize to win it? I’m going to the Gym.”

Well, Geoffr0y, I hope you had a good workout…BECAUSE YOU JUST WON THE SIGNED COPY OF ICEMAN!!! E-mail your address to feedback@cagepotato.com and we’ll get it to you ASAP. Big ups to everyone for playing. The final round of the Iceman caption contest goes down next Monday, so stay loose.

Totally unrelated: EliteXC just announced that Miami-based rap artist Pitbull will be performing at Street Certified on Saturday. Damn — I hope the BankUnited Center is insured. In honor of the booking, here’s the video to “Bojangles.”

PRIDE-vet turned UFC-welterweight Akihiro Gono recently had surgery to repair the hand injury that forced him to pull out of a bout with Jon Fitch at UFC 82. He wrote about the experience on his blog yesterday, and Suki MMA was kind enough to translate:

My operation went well and I left the hospital yesterday. I hope I recover soon. It was a 5 hours operation, cutting a part of bone in radius and transplanting it in my right hand. I have never been so tired and feeling destroyed like this time. It was extremely tough operation and I am having the worst pain ever after the operation. I almost gave up and ran away from everything. Although, I have nothing to do but fighting , so I continue to being MMA fighter.

I couldn’t sleep well because my right hand is in pain even if I take pain killer pills. I realized how hard to do everything by my left hand. I want to get married so bad now. I’m 33 years old and this is my first time to dream about getting a wife. I want someone who is attractive and respectful. I should be competitive to be chosen by my dream girl though.

Anyway, thank you for supporting me and my operation went well. After dinner, I will study English which is a part of my project to be an attractive guy.

Oh man. This is going to get him so much tail. “My project to be an attractive guy” — can we cast McConaughey and Hudson in this shit already?!

P.S.: I love how losing the use of his right hand is what compelled Gono to start thinking about getting a wife. Trust me dude, as long as old lefty is functional, single life isn’t that bad.

P.P.S.: “Pain Killer Pills” is an awesome band name.

P.P.P.S.: If anyone can translate Suki’s translation of “I should be competitive to be chosen by my dream girl though,” it would be a huge help. Broken English on blogs seems to be the theme of the day…

As we mentioned earlier, ICON Sport middleweight contender Kala Kolohe Hose’s brief career has been marked by some memorably fierce knockouts. If you’ve never seen him in action before, now’s your chance. Below are the end of his most recent fight against Frederic Belleton at the last ShoXC Challenger Series (1/25/08), and his complete 67-second match against Kekoa Baker at Icon Sport: All In (2/9/07). Check out the way Hose waits with his hands on his hips until Belleton comes in to eat a good-night knockout punch. That’s a confident young man…

According to The Fight Network, Patrick Cote is out at UFC 83. It was just days ago that Cote’s involvement in the event was being reported in a match-up against Alan Belcher. Now Cote is being forced not to take the fight due to injury. MMA Mania is quoting Cote’s manager, Stephane Patry, on the matter:

“We were still talking [to the UFC] about an opponent when Patrick fell on the ice. He went for the MRI, and the doctor told him it’s sprained and he can’t train for four to six weeks – so he won’t be available to fight [in April]… We were not going to take that fight [with Belcher] anyway. It wouldn’t make sense.”

Snap! Patry say no-makey-sense. Whatever, we move on. On to Jason “Dooms” Day that is. Day has signed a multi-fight deal with the UFC and his virgin fight with them will now be against Belcher at UFC 83 on April 19th. Middleweight Day is 15-5 and 14-2 in his last 16. His split decision win at HCF: Destiny on February 1st over former UFC 185-pounder David Loiseau probably boosted him to his own UFC signing.

Belcher is 12-4 and will be going for his third win in a row. Not many of his fights go to decision, so he’ll look to wrap the win up early.

And in other news:

-Remember THQ? No, it’s not the miracle tablet that makes you go all smiles for the better part of a cab ride, but the video game maker that’s been working on the UFC’s new video game. The game will be revealed in a ‘to date’ format at UFC 84, which is slated for Saturday, May 24th. MMA Junkie is saying the company made the teasing comments during a financial/stockholder conference call.

THQ’s five-year contract gives them the rights to UFC games until the end of 2011 for all console and portable platforms, and wireless formats. A street date should also be revealed at UFC 84, and maybe even the official name of the game. It’s been referenced as “UFC 2009″ and “Ultimate Fighting Championship 2009″ so far. So get your thumbs loosened up and tell your mom to slide your TV dinners under the basement door. There’s games to be had.

-The Dayton Daily News is reporting that tickets for UFC 82 are going fast and about 10,000 have already been snatched up. The UFC expects a sell-out, of course. Last year, the Nationwide Arena in Colombus, Ohio hosted UFC 68 where it set a UFC attendance record with 19,049. It’s own venue record could go down on March 1st.

We’ve been giving away copies of Iceman: My Fighting Life for the last couple of weeks, and during that time, it’s been my go-to for bathroom-reading. Consequently, I’ve learned a lot about Chuck that I didn’t know before — things that only devoted fans and family members would know. We’re taking a break from the caption contest this week, but we’d like to send an autographed copy of Iceman to the first reader who can correctly answer the questions after the jump, which are based on facts pulled from the book itself (UPDATE: We have a winner). But first, we’d like to excerpt our absolute favorite part of Iceman, which basically confirms that all the stories you’ve heard about the guy are true. Read it and weep:

Here’s what happens when you win a big fight: Girls flock to you. I was once at a club in Vegas with my girlfriend after I had beaten some guy up, and right in front of my girl, another woman came up to us and handed me her key. When I fought Tito, I wasn’t dating anyone seriously. So after a night of celebrating at the clubs, I brought some company back up to my room. A lot of company. I can’t remember how many woman, but I know it was more than two. I had promised Dana the gloves and trunks from the fight, and he had forgotten to get them in the celebration after. He came by my room in the morning, knocked on the door, and someone let him in. He saw two girls asleep in the living room, two more girls in the bathroom, and a girl in bed with me. None of us had any clothes on. And Dana remembers seeing condoms hanging from the lamps, on the floor, pretty much everywhere. He looked at me, asked me for the gloves and the trunks, then said, “Get the hell out of here.” I ended the morning by having sex while doing an interview on the phone with a radio station. Again, I’m not trying to brag. This is just the way it was.

And now that we’re all in the mood, the trivia contest:

Although it’s happened to countless office-drones in recent years, Tim Sylvia may be the first mixed martial artist to be fired from his job for talking shit about his boss on his blog. On Friday, he posted the following on the tim-sylvia.com forums:

i have one fight left on my contract i want to stay with the ufc but i am going to go were the money is right now Brock is making more m0ney then me that has to change i have a better name then him and i am a better fighter then him, in case u didn’t know my manager runs m1 so i have a pretty good in so we will see what happens in the next few months.

Why doesn’t it surprise me that Tim Sylvia writes like a 14-year-old mall-girl? Dude, would it kill you to throw in some punctuation? Various websites picked up on the “Tim Sylvia to leave UFC for M-1″ angle of the forum entry and quickly re-posted it. Realizing that things on the Internet tend to get around, Timbo posted the following bit of damage-control on his site yesterday:

well let me just start off by saying people r fucked up by saying that i want to leave the ufc. I dont its my home and i would love to be there for the rest of my carear. Second I didnt say i wanted or even was thinking about m1 u guys (forum users) asked about it and I told u my manager runs it thats it, so please dont take shit out of context. Some of u people are going to get me in trouble with the ufc.

See what you’ve done, you bloodsuckers? You’ve gotten Tim so hot and bothered that he’s abandoned apostrophes altogether. And spell-check? Fucking forget about it. We think that once Monte Cox patiently explained to Sylvia that M-1 is not a legitimate fight organization, but rather an elaborate front set up to promote/protect Fedor Emelianenko — and leaving the UFC for M-1 would actually be a terrible career move — the Maine-iac had an “oh shit” moment and made that follow-up post.

The fact that Brock Lesnar has a $250,000 guarantee per fight clearly bothers Sylvia. What bothers us is the fact that Sylvia seems to think his recent performances should entitle him to a raise. He isn’t popular with fans, and he’s at least a couple fights away from another title shot. Meanwhile, Brock Lesnar probably generated 20 times his salary in UFC 81 pay-per-view buys. Supply and demand — it’s a bitch, buddy.

(Phil Baroni and Kala Kolohe Hose.)

Yesterday, we reported that middleweight free-agent Phil Baroni had signed a multi-year contract with EliteXC after weighing offers from six different organizations. It now looks like an immediate title-shot could have been a major factor in Baroni’s decision. ICON Sport — the prestigious Hawaii-based MMA organization owned by Pro Elite — announced that it has stripped Robbie Lawler of his middleweight championship belt because of his ongoing inability to defend his title due to injuries, and the vacant title will be on the line in a March 15th fight between Phil Baroni and top ICON contender Kala Kolohe Hose.

Baroni’s last fight was a submission loss to Frank Shamrock at Strikeforce: Shamrock vs. Baroni in June of last year. He’s a veteran of both the UFC and PRIDE, and holds notable wins over Amar Suloev, Ryo Chonan, and Yuki Kondo. Hose (5-1) has won his last four fights by first-round KO/TKO, and defeated Frederic Belleton at last month’s ShoXC Elite Challenger Series. He was originally scheduled to face Lawler for the ICON title in December, but Lawler was forced to pull out, leading to the entire event being canceled.

In an article on TheFightNetwork, Lawler was quoted as saying, “I’m disappointed and upset, but I understand why this happening. In 2007, I did well when I was healthy. I accept the decision, but I promise everyone that I will return. And I will get my belt back.” On his next opponent, Baroni said: “Kala is like a younger version of me. I like him. It’s too bad Lawler was afraid to fight him, but I’m not. I’ve been fighting top guys my entire career, and I’m going to show the Hawaiian fans what a real middleweight champ looks like.”

(Heavyweight champion of the industry.)

Whether you need to take your fight career to the next level, or you’re stuck in a Thai prison for a “misunderstanding” with a local bar-girl, Ken Pavia is your man. The New York-bred, Huntington Beach-based MMA agent drives the careers of Karo Parisyan, Rob McCullough, Chris Lytle, James Thompson, Renato Sobral, Phil Baroni, and a few dozen others, and his work doesn’t stop at just arranging fights and locking down sponsorship deals. After realizing we knew next-to-nothing about what an MMA agent actually does, we decided to drop “The Pav” a line and get the lowdown on how he got his start and how he keeps on top of the competition. Also, coffee enemas.

THE EARLY DAYS

You were a sports agent for 12 years after graduating from the Miami School of Law. Did you focus on any sport in particular?
I primarily represented baseball and hockey players, though I did have a couple basketball players and a football player. I had my own firm from about ’91 through ’03 or so.

And you’ve said you retired because you got bored. Was there more to it than that?
I don’t know if it was so much boredom — I was a boutique firm competing against larger, much better capitalized corporate firms, and capitalization was ultimately a stumbling block in my ability to maintain higher-profile guys. I’d recruit a football player coming out of college, and it’d be about six to nine months before he saw any money, and he’d want a couple-hundred-thousand dollar advance. After a while I needed a break from recruiting and the daily grind.

So what did you plan on doing with the rest of your life?
Well, I took a couple years off and sat on the couch, watched sports, ate bon-bons, and went through a divorce. I was semi-retired and trying to figure out what I wanted to do. Eventually I opened up an auto auction and I met Ricco Rodriguez, who dragged me into the MMA game.

Was Ricco your first client?
He was. A mutual friend introduced us, and Ricco sat me down and said “We need mainstream agents to cross over and help the fighters get the kind of compensation that the owners are getting.” I had been a fan of the sport — I think I’d seen pretty much every UFC event — but Ricco’s the one who convinced me to get in from a business standpoint.

How did you go about finding and attracting clients in those early days?
Having the former UFC heavyweight champion was sort of a high-profile thing, and being in Huntington Beach — which was a hotbed for MMA talent at the time — I was able to find a couple of local guys with Ricco’s help. I’d take Ricco to fights, he’d meet the up-and-coming talent, and they’d pretty much come to me. I was blessed that the talent was seeking us out as opposed to the grind I had in other sports.

(I’ll kick your ass in 1996!)

We recently chatted to UFC founder Bob Meyrowitz about his newly-formed YAMMA Pit Fighting organization, but couldn’t bribe him to give up the names of fighters he was close to signing for the debut event. Well, jump in your time machine and set it for the mid-1990′s. Don “The Predator” Frye was interviewed by TAGG Radio and has revealed he has signed on the dotted line to fight none other than Oleg “The Russian Bear” Taktarov.

As posted by MMA Junkie:

“I hope (YAMMA) made the announcement because I just signed to fight Oleg Taktarov,” Frye said.

The alleged old-timers ball is supposed to be for the April 11th Trump Taj Mahal show and will be one of the “Masters SuperFights” that YAMMA has planned to go with their eight-man tournament that evening. The report is that the New Jersey State Athletic Control Board has tentatively approved it with shorter rounds and medical examinations sandwiched by fights.

(Fedor feeding the geese, or catching them for his supper? You be the judge.)

We’ve heard from Randy Couture about all the shit surrounding the attempt to make the Fedor/Randy fight happen and the subsequent lawsuit spin-offs. And we’ve heard from Dana White almost daily defending his ridiculous position. Now we’re hearing from Fedor Emelianenko himself about the fight and Lex Luthor’s repeated public bashings of him. In an open letter to Dana White that was posted on m1mixfight.com, the site of Fedor’s management team, the Russian superstar let it all out.

As posted on MMA Junkie:

As Emelianenko wrote (keep in mind it’s been translated by a third party):

Numerous times have I read mister White’s statements on Internet concerning myself. In my opinion, allowing yourself to say those things is not a sign of a gentleman or a grown man at all! If he candidly wants to prove himself right then let my fight with Randy happen or let me face the reigning UFC champion Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira. In the future I wouldn’t want to hear those statements in my address ever again and I won’t tolerate that.

My last fight in Japan proved that I’m ready to fight anybody with any height advantage, skillset or experience. I have fought and still wish to fight the best athletes. The Randy fight is my goal number one right now, he’s a great fighter and this is a very unfortunate situation when too strict and one-sided UFC contracts don’t let this fight happen.

The whole world is eager to see me fight your champions, people don’t want to listen to your press-conferences. I’m signed with M-1 Global and this promotion is ready to organize such fights under our banner or in co-promoted events.

Fedor wants to fight the best. For those out there who thinks he only takes mediocre fights, he wants to shut them up. But he didn’t sign with the UFC because of the restrictive contracts and Dana White’s business tactics. We all know Dana’s style. If you don’t want to play by his sometimes-absurd rules, he’ll make it his life’s work to kick shit on your name. And he’s tried to do that with Fedor and now Randy.

Yet again, M-1 is ready to make this happen. Fedor has penned a letter begging for it. Randy is willing to be sued in order to hold out for it. Dana, you blow.

(I know this picture has nothing to do with MMA. Still, it amuses me.)

— Our latest caption contest produced over a hundred new variations of “Kevin Federline sucks.” Well done.

— Bob Meyrowitz dodged our questions, much like the fighters of YAMMA will have to dodge the laser-firing sharks in his Mystery Pit.

— A female member of the Gracie clan was discovered. Bonus: She’s hot!

— We scored our first celebrity endorsement, who provided us with the greatest slogan in history.

— The UFC has more cases than Howie Mandel.

— Frank Shamrock stopped by, and revealed that he’ll be retiring in 2018. We’ll start planning the party.

— Tickets to UFC 83 were going, going, gone. Hey, we didn’t want to be there anyway. :’ (

— Some fighters are even dumber than they look.

— The Potato Nation proved their allegiance, rising up when a misguided, microphallic BloodyElbow fan named “MrTypo” wandered in and threatened to unbookmark us from his web browser. Somehow, MrTypo found his way back to this site even without the bookmark. For that sir, you deserve our undying admiration. Now get the fuck out of here and never come back.

As for the rest of you: Have a bomb-ass weekend, and make sure to swing by on Sunday for our exclusive interview with MMA Super-Agent Ken Pavia, and next week for more guaranteed insanity.

Here’s Mr. Ferguson’s appearance on Jimmy Kimmel last night. It was just aight for me, dog — although the Mr. T/Jeffrey mash-up was pretty brills. The most interesting revelation is that Kimbo has a George Foreman-esque egocentric quirk w/r/t naming his children. Of his six kids, two sons are named Kevin, and he has a daughter named Kevina. And of course his two-year-old is muthafuckin’ bulletproof.

Not many earth-shattering stories coming out of the MMA world this afternoon, but here’s some UFC news that warrant mention.

-Remember when Sean Sherk’s steroid suspension was reduced by the California State Athletic Commission but not overturned? Well, the Muscle Shark had said he would never fight in California again because of their refusal to overturn the suspension. And according to MMA Weekly, he’s sticking to his chemically-enhanced guns: “There’s no reason for me to ever fight in California again. The way they treated my case and the way they handled everything was so unprofessional that there’s absolutely no way I’ll ever fight in the state of California again, unless they get rid of the entire commission and hire a whole new commission.” Call me crazy, but that’s not going to happen.

-Going along with our previous post about states that are behind the times in legalizing MMA, Dana White has guaranteed that the UFC will have events in both New York City and Boston in 2008. The Fight Network quotes Baldie: “I’m going to be as bold as to say I guarantee you either we’ll be in the Boston Garden or Madison Square Garden.” In New York, the sport is illegal every way you cut it. In Massachusetts, the Mass. Boxing Commission cannot oversee MMA, but shows can operate under promoters if he has the city’s permission. So, it’s technically not illegal. How many times have I justified my actions by saying that?

-MMA Junkie has a TAGG radio interview posted with Frankie Edgar. Edgar speaks about his upcoming UFC Fight Night 13 battle with Gray Maynard. Both fighters are undefeated and Edgar is expecting a battle. “I actually see this fight going everywhere. With both of our wrestling abilities, it could hit the ground real quick, or it could stay standing. I’m just expecting to have a fight that ends up in every position.”

-For you ladies and gents who were trying to get tickets to GSP/Serra II at UFC 83, we told you it was going to be tough. Now, it’s going to be even harder. The UFC has announced that the tickets are no more and it is the fastest to sell out in the UFC’s history.

-And props to BloodyElbow for linking to Evan Tanner’s journal which has pics and details about his training for his fight with Yushin Okami at UFC 82.

10. Quinton “Rampage” Jackson

Quote: “When I be losing I be gettin’ my ass whupped. But when I be winnin’ I be doing the ass whuppin’!”
Admittedly, Rampage has had enough funny/dumb quotes to fill a book and over 2/3rd of them contain some version of “ass whuppin’”. We’ll let this well-said overly obvious statement represent the many that he has given us — and the hundreds more that are sure to come.

9. BJ Penn

Quote: “My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs.”
We like BJ – and he’s a fan favorite – but, Prodigy, a little extra effort would be appreciated when you’re fielding questions about your diet. Everyone knows what Atkins is, so if you add the carbs…well, then it’s not Atkins at all is it?

For the second week in a row, you’ve proven your dedication to the noble cause of winning free shit. Last week’s Chuck Liddell caption contest took in 100 entries. This week: 102. Progress! Before we name the four (!) people who won signed copies of Iceman: My Fighting Life, let’s take a moment to recognize the runners-up:

SikSik6: In today’s press release, Liddell announced that he will be changing his nickname from “The Iceman” to “The Douche Magnet.”

darylo: Chuck n Cheesy
[Ed. note: Great. Now I have a craving for ball-pits.]

totaldb: The Liddelerline’s first night out
[Ed. note: Doesn't quite roll off the tongue like TomKat or Bennifer, does it?]

Niceguyeddie: http://mikey99.deviantart.com/art/K-Feddell-76490856

BG75:
K-fed: ay dawg its some fine ass breezies round hurr put it in the browntown from downtown
Chuck: *snorts a line,nods*
[Ed. note: We're suckers for stage-directions.]

And now the winners…

(Bob Sapp, doing what he does best.)

HDNet announced yesterday that it would be broadcasting four Strikeforce events in 2008, beginning with “Strikeforce at The Dome” on February 23rd. The Tacoma, Washington card features fights between Bob “The Beast” Sapp and K-1 vet Jan Nortje, and former UFC heavyweight champ Maurice Smith against kickboxing star Rick “The Jet” Rufus in his professional MMA debut. The HDNet deal doesn’t apply to the events that Strikeforce has already partnered with EliteXC for, which will still be broadcast on Showtime. Check out the new promo clip for the EliteXC/Strikeforce March 29th event in San Jose, California, featuring a main event of Frank Shamrock vs. Cung Le. It looks like they’re playing up the “Frank Shamrock may be insane” angle, which can’t be bad for business.

(Somebody’s gonna’ pay for this scratch!)

The Natural is speaking out regarding the lawsuit he’s been slapped with – courtesy his friends who run the UFC. This comes shortly after a preliminary injunction was filed by Zuffa, LLC against Couture on February 1st. That was the same day the heavyweight champ was in the corner for his Xtreme Couture fighter, Mike Pyle, at a Hardcore Championship Fighting event. This is apparently one of the many breaches the UFC crew is crying about.

Couture recently spoke to MMA Weekly about the mess that probably won’t end well for anyone. As most suspect, he seems to know Zuffa is wanting to make him spend so much money, he’ll be arm-barred into fulfilling his contract. But they’ve got another thing coming, says The Natural.

“It’s unfortunate that things have kind of degraded to that point,” Couture said in the interview. “I’m sure that’s part of their ploy, to force me to spend enough money that I’ll have to come back and fight for them, which isn’t the case.”

Randy Couture has understood his contract will just run out at some point, but the UFC insists he owes them fights. Randy’s ready to take the next step to prove he’s right.

“I’ve got a very good team of lawyers. I think we’ll basically have to get a declaration from the state of Nevada on what they interpret the contract as, but the way I see it, the contract is up in July,” Couture stated.

— We didn’t think Jimmy Kimmel could score a more awesomely random pairing than Tank Abbott/Heidi Montag, but he’ll make it happen tonight as he welcomes none other than Kimbo Slice and Dr. Phil McGraw to his couch (ABC, 12:05/11:05c.). And of course, Tito Ortiz and Ricco Rodriguez are still hangin’ in on Celebrity Apprentice and Celebrity Rehab, so tune in tonight and show your support.

— Also, Fightlinker has launched a petition to convince SpikeTV to make UFC Fight Night 13 into a 3-hour broadcast, and they’re reaching out to folks like us to spread awareness. It’s a good cause, so if you care about seeing as much of the super-stacked card as possible, e-mail feedback@spike.com with the following (or a variation that more closely reflects your personal truth):

SUBJECT: UFC Fight Night on April 2nd

Hi
I’m writing to ask that the UFC Fight Night on April 2nd be given three hours of time instead of two. The card is one of the best UFC cards ever put on Spike, and it deserves a longer timeslot. The entire fight community is looking forward to seeing this event, and I am sure you’ll have a significantly higher number of viewers if you decide to show more of the card.

Thank you for your time
[your name]

Five years before Frank Mir disposed of Brock Lesnar via kneebar, he put away Tank Abbott with an ankle-lock at UFC 41: Onslaught (2/28/03). The fight marked Tank’s first professional match since 1998, and Mir’s sixth overall. Though Tank showed some nimble movement on the ground, Mir displayed his ability to keep calm against an aggressive opponent while expertly working toward a submission. Following this fight, Mir won two victories over Wes Sims (the first by illegal-stomp DQ, the second by KO) then faced Tim Sylvia for the title. Abbott would close out 2003 by losing to Kimo Leopoldo and Wesley Correira, then leaving the UFC.

(It’s all about the hair.)

The TAGG Radio Network did an interview with Jake Shields this week, where the EliteXC welterweight made some pretty bold statements. Shields is certainly one of the most exciting up-and-coming fighters in action today and soon he just might add a 170-pound title to go with his impressive 20-4-1 record. Shields faces former UFC-er Drew Fickett and his 31-5 record on March 29th at the Strikeforce/EliteXC event.

Remember that whole “one game at a time” shit that coaches are always preaching to their players so they won’t overlook their current opponent? Apparently Jake Shields doesn’t buy into that. And the fighter he has his eye on happens to be one of the legends in the sport: Frank Shamrock.

Shamrock is headlining the March 29th event and will put his Strikeforce middleweight title on the line against Cung Le.

TAGG provided the following for MMA Junkie:

“I would do that tomorrow,” Shields said regarding the match-up with Shamrock. “In fact, when there was that whole Baroni thing going on, I actually got a phone call asking me if Baroni didn’t come through would I be willing to take that fight. It was about four days before the fight, and I said I would take it… I was willing to step up on four days’ notice and fight him.”

The report says Shamrock would possibly be interested in the fight, but would want Jake to go up to middleweight. Shields says, “Fine, Bee-otches!” – in so many words.

For all the debate over Steve Mazzagatti’s controversial point-deduction during UFC 81′s Lesnar/Mir fight, we’ve overlooked one other questionable reffing moment from “Breaking Point.” Watch the video above and count how many unanswered punches to the face Tim Boetsch gets in on David Heath — who doesn’t even have his hands up — before Herb Dean decides to come back from his cigarette break.

Of course, Boetsch himself can’t be faulted for laying down the fury. In fact the Pennsylvania-based light heavyweight, who filled in for Tomasz Drwal at UFC 81 on just 10 days notice, believes that his dramatic K.O. of Heath will earn him a return trip to the Octagon. As Boetsch told TAGG Radio:

“I haven’t heard anything as of yet. But just from the response from the fans and everybody that saw it, I think they’re going to have a hard time not bringing me back. So I’m looking forward to getting back in there for them, hopefully in the near future, and putting on another good show.”

Though the $60,000 Knockout of the Night bonus went to Chris Lytle, Boetsch received extra pay on top of his salary, saying that “[the UFC] takes care of you if you put on an exciting fight.” As for the wild ending to his match last Saturday, Boetsch remembers it like this:

“I knew when (Heath) didn’t put his hands out to catch himself (falling) he was in trouble. His head bounced off the floor, and I knew he was hurt pretty bad. I dropped in and started hitting him, and I knew nobody was home at that point.”

We don’t think he’d have much luck throwing around the UFC’s top-ten-caliber light heavyweights, but we’d love to see Boetsch developed for a while against gatekeeper-types like Jason Lambert and Eric Schafer. The kid’s got potential…