(Misinterpret “rap battle” much?)

Nah, just playin’. The show could actually have potential, though it’s hard to make a final judgment based on last night’s episodes, which were focused on the teams and the fighter selection process. There were a couple surprises: Krazy Horse Bennett has apparently never trained for a fight and has only been in a gym twice, and Wes Sims somehow snuck onto the show, despite being a seasoned MMA veteran and caucasian. But to hold our attention for an entire season, we’d suggest two changes:

— The celebrity “team owners” should actually have to learn about and train for the sport; in particular, Juelz Santana could stand to benefit from some kettlebell work. Ludacris seemed to be the only one who showed any interest in getting in the gym with his guys. At the very least, MMA training would give T.I. something to shout at his fighters besides “kill the head and the body will follow!”

— Do not, edit, the fights. The second episode featured the show’s first match, but it was hacked down to just the “ooh!” moments. If there’s anything we’ve learned from IFL Battleground, it’s that fight fans want to see the whole thing.

Did anybody else catch the show? Thoughts?

To finish off your St. Patty’s Day hangover, here are some news morsels from the MMA world:

— World Victory Road‘s next event, “Sengoku II”, is scheduled for May 18th in Japan. MMAWeely has the rumored fighters — although no opponents have been named: Roger Gracie, Satoru Kitaoka, Yoshihiro Nakao, Yuki Sasaki, and Kevin Randleman.

— A Jaime Fletcher and Aaron Rosa fight has been included in ShoXC’s Friday show, scheduled to be aired on Showtime at 11:00 p.m. (ET). The match-up is a light-heavy fight between two up-and-comers. Fletcher is 5-3, losing his last three fights, and Rosa had his ten-fight win streak snapped recently, dropping his record to 10-1. The battle has been added to replace a chick fight between Cris Cyborg (aka, Cyborg Santos‘s wife) and Jen Case. Apparently, Cyborg — the chick version — wasn’t able to get into the states for the fight (taking place in California), hence the cancellation. Her record is 4-0…her husband was 2-2 in his first four pro fights. Ouch.

— 5oz of Pain is reporting that Robbie Lawler might be close to signing an extension with EliteXC. He is currently the organization’s middleweight champ. Lawler is reportedly going to be fighting in EliteXC’s debut on CBS in two months. Robbie has not fought since September of last year and has been battling an injury since December.

— It’s just days away and “The Ultimate Fighter 7″ preview is already floating around cyberspace. Check it out below:

Peace, Bitches.

(The classic taste test.)

Seriously, can we just push Fedor Emelianenko and Randy Couture into the alley behind Bed, Bath & Beyond and let them beat the shit out of each other? That’s all we want. Let’s just do this. We’ve heard about The Natural’s numerous UFC legal tangles that stemmed from Couture’s efforts to set up a fight with Fedor, and recently Fedor’s free agency details have also started to surface. And while we’re talkin’ contracts, did Fedor even have one with M-1 Global? Apparently not, according to Sherdog:

The Russian heavyweight’s only agreement with the company — according to the source, who spoke on the condition of anonymity — came in the form of a letter of intent.

The return of a $1.5 million signing bonus paid by M-1 Global to Emelianenko is the only hurdle to the former Pride champion’s potential free agency. That should be remedied this week, the source said.

M-1 Global CEO Monte Cox declined to comment.

Once Emelianenko is clear of his M-1 obligations he is expected to field offers from several MMA promotions. The early leader, according to the same source, comes from the purported partnership between Affliction and Oscar de la Hoya’s Golden Boy Promotions, which Sherdog.com has learned could debut on June 28.

So the possible Randy/Fedor fight plot thickens. Golden Boy did not comment either, but a source claimed that Fedor would get $1.5 mill for a fight with the organization and his managers would get the TV rights in Japan and Russia. The report also claims that Fedor’s bro — Aleksander — will probably sign with Affliction along with Matt “Movie Screen Forehead” Lindland (previously reported).

So the official contract between Fedor and M-1 was reportedly never signed by the Russian heavyweight. But what does it mean if I forged my uncle’s name on my apartment lease? Am I cool with skipping the April rent? Sweet.

Because it’s been a long day, and I just need some Krazy Horse in my life. Maybe you do too.

JarryPark has the technical-difficulty-ridden audio to today’s EliteXC/Strikeforce conference call, where Frank Shamrock and Cung Le pumped up their battle on March 29th; Gary Shaw, Jake Shields, and Drew Fickett were also in tele-attendance. Some highlights:

— Shaw predicts the live gate to exceed $1 million.

— Frank: “Like most people, [Cung's] afraid to go to the ground with me.”

— Shaw on not pursuing the Randy/Fedor fight for EliteXC: “I do not tortiously interfere with anybody’s contract or any fighter. I respect the fighter, I respect the contract, and believe it or not I respect the UFC. I have had talks with Fedor, I don’t deny that, but I have not approached Randy Couture, and I can’t approach Randy until I know that he’s out of everything with the UFC. But I’d be thrilled to put it on…I’d sign it in less than a heartbeat.”

— Frank on a fight with Tito Ortiz: “I think it’s a great idea…there’s a lot of strength and brand value in some of these old-timers like myself, Tito, guys like Ken. I’ve been talking to Tito about it and we’re trying to work it out. Hopefully it’ll come to fruition ten years after I last whupped him. I beat him on striking last time when my striking was really terrible. Now my striking is ten years more advanced and my conditioning is even better. I just think I would destroy him, but it would still be a great money fight and a great story.”

— Shaw: “The biggest belt I wear is the one around my fat waist. On a serious note…”

— Frank: “To me it’s about how big we can make a promotion, how much attention we can draw to it…I’d rather fight a guy like Phil Baroni who can sell a match like nobody else in the world — and who can take a beating like nobody else in the world — than a champion who can’t put two sentences together and who doesn’t draw big crowds.”

— Frank on bro Ken’s last loss: “I was pretty disappointed in his performance. I don’t know if he’s still got the heart of a lion in him…I know Ken’s skill level, and I just think he’s having trouble connecting his desire with his mind and his body, and putting all that together to be an exciting fighter.”

— Shaw: “On a serious note, [Ken] was sick that night. He got some type of stomach ailment so he didn’t go into the cage 100%, but he absolutely told me he’s still got enough left to take your ass.” [Frank laughs] “Alright, you’re laughin’.”

Also: Tomorrow, EliteXC will make an announcement regarding the fights on their first CBS card. Stay tuned.

(Yep, that’s Dana White’s handwriting.)

This thing has been dragging on for a year and now Brandon “The Truth” Vera‘s ex-manager, Mark Dion, is saying Vera should change his nickname to “The Liar” after the botched UFC contract negotiation – resulting in the two splitting and Vera doing nada for a long stretch. An extensive rundown of what started all this is over at cityboxing.com. The report says Vera should have to fulfill the agreement with Dion and give the manager 1/3rd of the dough made from the 2007 Tim Sylvia bout, in addition to $100K from future fights.

The Post It note at the head of this post was apparently penned to Vera from Dana White in the middle of the negotiation process. Here are the details:

– Three fight deal worth $90K/$90K, $100K/$100K, $115K/$115K, and then $150K/$150K, $170K/$170K, $185K/$185K if Vera were to become the UFC Heavyweight Champion.

Or:

– $7 Million over 4 years, plus a $100K signing bonus if Vera were to become champion.

Vera didn’t like the offer, so he and Dion countered with this:

– $150K/$150K, $175K/$175K, $200K/$200K, plus a $1.5 million signing bonus.

Or:

– Insured 10 fights over three years, $3 million per year, plus a $1.5 million signing bonus.

Here’s the five-round stomp-n’-wheeze from Saturday night’s ICON Sport “To Hell and Back” event, where Kala Kolohe Hose overcame Phil Baroni’s soccer kicks (and breathtaking glam-guido ring entrance) to win the middleweight title. Major props to our new blood brothers at MMAVideosOnline for the hookup.

Part 1

Part 2

As reported here earlier, Aleksander Emelianenko will be headlining an M-1 Challenge event in St. Petersburg on April 3rd. M1MixFight now has more details on the event, revealing that “Aleksandr Emelyanenko” (whoever that is) will be facing former Brazilian pro boxer Fabio Maldonado, who has compiled a 4-1 MMA record facing nobody you’ve ever heard of. In the event’s other “superfights,” Roman Zentsov will take on equally anonymous Brazilian fighter Junior dos Santos (5-1), and Amar Suloev will take on Polish journeyman Jacek Buczko (11-3).

I know — dullsville, right? But the night’s main card might provide some patriotic excitement, as a separate Russian team will compete against a Japanese crew, and a quintet of Fins face off against Team Korea. The lineups:

Team Finland vs Team Korea
Niko Puhakka vs. Kim Jongman
Janne Tulirinta vs. Lee Yonghoon
Lucio Linhares vs. Lim Hyungyu
Toni Valtonen vs. Choi Seunghyun
Jarno Nurminen vs. Kim Jihoon

Team Russia vs Team Japan
Yuri Ivlev vs. Nakamura Daisuke
Islam Karimov vs. Hamamura Ken
Ansar Chalangov vs. Watanabe Yuta
Besike Gerinava vs. Sakuragi Yuji
Ahmed Sultanov vs. Fujii Katsuhisa

As for M-1 Global, their site is still a dead-end, and Russian MMA reports that Vadim Finkelchtein wrested control of the operation from the Americans last month. So, Mitchell Maxwell and Monte Cox should be receiving the news in another few weeks.

(Props: FiveOuncesofPain)

From M-1 Mixfight. Money quote:

Interviewer: Do you care where you would fight Fedor Emelianenko, does that matter to you?
Couture: Well, I care at this point that it’s not in the UFC.

I’m sure Emelianenko feels the same way. The Natural also mentions his obvious preference to fight in a cage should the match ever come together. Good luck convincing Fedor’s people to have him fight Randy outside of a ring. Does anyone else think this is the dispute that will sink the fight altogether?

(Fisher…out!)

First, a blown-out knee threw a monkey wrench into what was going to be the most interesting fight of UFC 85. Now it’s Ultimate Fight Night 13‘s turn to lose a highly anticipated bout, as a shoulder injury has forced Spencer Fisher to withdraw from his match against Marcus Aurelio on April 2nd. Said Fisher’s manager Monte Cox:

“Marcus Aurelio is not the kind of fighter you want to fight at 80 percent. [Fisher] was willing to fight but we decided it just was not a smart decision.”

Aurelio is now expected to face Jim Miller, a 10-1 lightweight who has never set foot in the Octagon, and whose sole loss came at the hands of Frankie Edgar at a Reality Fighting event in 2006. Should be a……………….ah, sorry, nodded off for a second there.

In related news, 6-0 middleweight Bryan “The Beast” Baker has stepped in to face Chael Sonnen next Wednesday at WEC 33, which will be headlined by a light-heavyweight title fight between Doug Marshall and Brian Stann. Paulo Filho is still drying out in a Brazilian rehab facility, working the program and taking it one day at a time.

(Just hangin’ around the house on a lazy Saturday.)

There’s been more than one message board in the MMA cyber world with posts claiming some pretty disappointing news. The rumor – and it is just that right now – is that DREAM officials are talking about Cro Cop fighting at DREAM 3…against Hong-Man Choi. The posters have been saying that the press in Japan are backing up these claims. Shit. That would suck more than enough ass.

If this shit happens, it won’t go to the mat unless HMC falls on top of Cro Cop like he did against Fedor. Neither guy has much by way of a ground game, so it’d probably amount to some low kicks to the Techno Goliath’s legs until he toppled. DREAM could certainly do better than this, but the Japanese seem insistant on making Hong-Man Choi an MMA star. Sure, it’s business and you need viewers. The ratings for DREAM 1 reportedly blew and HMC versus Crop Cop could bring in the Japanese viewers. Good for DREAM, bad for us.

Ratings aside, let’s hope this one doesn’t materialize and Cro Cop gets a solid test for his next fight. But if this is to be believed, I’m going to go drink myself into a coma. It is St. Patty’s Day afterall.

(Jess Liaudin and his sweet trophy.)

Frenchie Jess “The Joker” Liaudin has said he’ll next battle Englishman Paul Taylor at UFC 85 in a welterweight match. From Liaudin’s myspace blog:

“On the 7th of June i will be doing my 4th fight in the UFC and will be fighting against Paul Taylor at UFC 85. I fought Paul about 6 years ago and lost a controversial decision (the fight is available on youtube) so it s a rematch. Paul is a well rounded fighter with good cardio, strength and a big heart. This fight is very important for me as my actual record in the UFC is 2-1 so another loss may mean that i can get booted out.”

Yes, Taylor has actually beaten the Joker once already at Cage Rage 2, but it was five years ago instead of six. This will also be Taylor’s fourth UFC fight, although he’s 1-2 in those bouts, last going down to Paul Kelly at UFC 80 via decision. Liaudin also lost at the January event – getting KO’d by Marcus “The Irish Hand Grenade” Davis, who had just beaten Paul Taylor at UFC 75. Just try and keep up ’cause we’re not going to explain all this again.

Liaudin’s overall record stands at 12-9 and Taylor’s is 8-3-1. UFC 85 is scheduled for June 7th in London. Aside from the crappy headlining fight between Chuck Liddell and Rashad Evans, here’s a look at the “unofficial” officially rumored card as it currently stands:

– Brandon Vera vs. Fabricio Werdum
– Mike Swick vs. Marcus Davis
– Martin Kampmann vs. Jorge Rivera
– Nate Marquardt vs. Thales Leites
– Roan Carneiro vs. Ryo Chonan
– Thiago Tavares vs. Matt Wiman
– Jess Liaudin vs. Paul Taylor

(Props to MMAMania)

Classic shit from MMA Posters & Collectibles (go there and spend!) via MMA.tv:

(Shockwave 2005)

(Heavyweight GP 2004)

(Bushido 3)

And our favorite…

(They…can’t…touch…him. Photo credit: MMAWeekly)

In the wake of UFC 82, Cage Rage 25, WEC 32, Sengoku 1 and DREAM 1, we’ve put together a long-overdue update to our Power Rankings page. Check it out, and be sure to click on each individual weight division to read our comments and leave your own. Some notable developments since last time:

— Yes, Anderson Silva is the best fighter in the world right now.
— Our middleweight list underwent a complete deck-reshuffling, with Henderson, Lawler, and Lindland sinking in the rankings due to losses, injuries, and inactivity.
— Masakazu Imanari’s recent performance (and title grab) at Cage Rage moves him up to the third-ranked featherweight in the world, after Urijah and “Kid.”
— The top half of the heavyweight rankings list remains in stalemate, and there were virtually no changes to the light-heavyweight top ten; expect chaos to ensue beginning in May.
— Sokoudjou is off our light-heavy list. We just couldn’t justify including a guy with only six pro fights, two of which he actually lost.
— We’ve included a two-person tie for the first time, at the #10 slot of the welterweight list. The decision was too difficult to make; let us know how you feel.

By far the best fight from Saturday’s DREAM show. Props to Boku for lasting 15 minutes with this animal…

(Bennett’s bringin’ the Krazy to BET tomorrow night.)

It’s tomorrow night, Ladies and Gents. I’m referring, of course, to BET’s “Iron Ring” which kicks off its debut show at 11 p.m. (ET). MMAPayout has a solid rundown of the show, being described as a mix of TUF and the IFL with a twist. The twist being hip hop celebrity types owning the teams. The show is thirty minutes, but the debut will be two back-to-back joints.

Here’s what MP is saying:

The one hour premier episode (two thirty minute episodes combined) focuses largely on the celebrity owners and their coaches. The show has a gritty feel provided by low key production and locations as well as a strong hip hop influence. The opening scenes looks more like the rawness of fight club than the spectacle of major MMA. Whether this will be the case once the actual competition begins remains to be seen, but the product definitely has a distinctive feel, unlike any other MMA production. Street Certified may be a more appropriate title for the series than it was for EliteXC’s previous offering.

There are six teams with fighters reppin’ lightweight – 170 lbs by “Iron Ring” terms – middleweight, and the heavies. Jamie Foxx’s pal, Rashon Kahn, will be the token speech-maker. Chuck “Krazy Horse” Bennett and Shonie Carter are two of the coaches and the other four are Roberto Traven, Abdul Mutakabbir, Jermaine Andre, and Novell G. Bell. WTF? you might be asking, so we have the scoop on those dudes after the jump.

(Evan Tanner, eating what appear to be testicles.)

While you were watching Cro Cop beat up a helpless Japanese boy…

— Evan Tanner announced that he’ll be returning to the Octagon this summer, but hasn’t revealed the date or his opponent yet. Tanner was most recently knocked out by Yushin Okami at UFC 82, but then defeated the urge to drink that came immediately afterward.

— Pancrase/PRIDE vet Kazuo “Grabaka Hitman” Misaki signed a two-fight deal with the San Jose-based Strikeforce organization; his first fight is expected to happen this summer. Since he’ll be fighting as a middleweight, Misaki could potentially face Frank Shamrock, Cung Le, or Joe Riggs. Misaki’s last two fights ended in a guillotine choke victory over Shooto champ Siyar Bahadurzada at Sengoku 1 (3/5/08), and a soccer-kick KO victory over Yoshihiro Akiyama at Yarennoka! (12/31/07) that was later ruled a no contest.

— Tito Ortiz sent Takanori Gomi a bunch of garbage in honor of his victory at Sengoku 1. Also, Rumina Sato just became a father.

— Dan Severn won his 106th match on March 9th, against Colin Robinson. JarryPark has an audio interview with the living legend about his “Kiss My Ass” retirement tour, YAMMA Pit Fighting, and his MMA legacy.

— Seven participating fighters in DREAM’s upcoming middleweight grand prix were announced on Saturday, including Kazushi Sakuraba, Yoshihiro Akiyama, and Ikuhisa “The Manboob Hunter” Minowa. Kiyoshi Tamura and Denis Kang are on the event poster, so they’ll likely be fighting as well. The first round of the DREAM middleweight tourney goes down April 29th at the Saitama Super Arena.

By CagePotato Guest Contributor Ben Fowlkes

On April 2nd, Kenny Florian headlines the next edition of Spike TV’s “UFC Fight Night,” where he’ll take on lightweight up-and-comer Joe Lauzon. While most fans know that Florian, like Lauzon, got his start in the UFC with The Ultimate Fighter, what they don’t know is that his journey really began with a near-death experience that changed his outlook on life.

Florian took a trip to Brazil in the summer of 2003 with the goal of improving his jiu-jitsu. While hiking down a mountain with some friends, Florian slipped on the wet, mossy rocks and began sliding off a precipice. Friends tried to grab him, but Florian plummeted over the edge and fell “for what seemed like an eternity.” He landed on a rounded rock that stopped his fall and ultimately saved his life. The experience was an eye-opening one for Florian, and it prompted him to abandon the safety of his white-collar life and pursue his dreams.

In this exclusive interview, Florian talks about the ramifications of that incident, about being haunted and motivated by defeat, and about his impending showdown with Lauzon and what it means for his career.

CagePotato: You came into the UFC by way of The Ultimate Fighter, and you’d only had a few professional fights at that point. What’s the major difference between that Kenny Florian and the one we see in the Octagon now?
Kenny Florian: That last Kenny Florian’s a punk. No, the Kenny Florian on The Ultimate Fighter was a guy who was trying to test his Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. He was a guy who really wasn’t sure if he wanted to become a fighter. It was just an opportunity that was presented to him at the time.

Now you’re seeing a guy who wants to learn it all and who wants to be a master of it all, and who sees the beauty in any technique that works. Whether it’s striking or wrestling or expanding my jiu-jitsu game for MMA, I’m trying to not only get good at the individual arts but find a circle of techniques that flow into each other and compliment each other. It’s an art in itself, just finding what works for MMA.

Now that you’re fighting at lightweight and having success, do you ever look back and wonder, “What was I thinking trying to be a middleweight?”
I was fat, that’s the main thing that comes to my mind. I had no concept of nutrition, of strength and conditioning. Not until after the Sherk fight did I have any concept of those things like the way I do now. I was definitely a work in progress, but I was crazy then. I was really a natural 155’er who was given an opportunity to compete at 185 and I thought, why not? I had nothing to lose.

I had no idea it would become this big, running show. I thought it could have been my only opportunity to fight for the UFC or fight on TV and help bring this sport to the masses. It was an opportunity I couldn’t pass up, and on top of that, week after week, I became more confident. I thought, with the skills I have now I’m doing well against all these experienced mixed martial artists, I may have a chance at winning this thing.

It was really one of my first experiences with mixed martial arts and it was a great chance to work out with great coaches like Randy Couture and Chuck Liddell and find out what it takes to get to that next level. Those are the guys that planted the seed in my head for what I’m doing now.

Reading past interviews with you, it seems like you’re really motivated by your losses. What’s it like after a big loss, when you get back to the dressing room and have to face that dark moment? How do you move past it?
It’s a terrible, terrible feeling. My loss to Sean Sherk haunts me to this day. At the same time it motivates me, and I can look at it as a positive experience. You can let things like that defeat you, or you put them behind you and learn from them and get better. That’s what I tried to do. There’s no such thing as a setback in life. There are only lessons. We’re made to evolve and get better and faster and stronger. You can do that within your own life.

It’s like pushing weights for the first time and your body’s sore and it sucks and it’s really hard, but after a while your muscles and your nervous system and everything gets stronger. Your muscle memory gets better. That’s the way it is with certain things in fighting. If you have a loss, you need to look at it and learn from it. What technical mistakes did I make? What strategic mistakes did I make? What mental mistakes did I make?

You cover all those bases and, if you need to, write it down and start working on patching those holes up. You can only look at it as a positive and live in the present day. If you live in the past, you’re dead.

From Saturday…

Mirko Cro Cop steamrolls Tatsuya Mizuno in 56 seconds.

The night’s freak-show feature: “Minowaman” taps out doughy Korean ex-baseball player Lee Kwan via kneebar.

Kala Kolohe Hose roasted Phil Baroni like a pig at a luau (take that, Ranallo) last night at the Neal S. Blaisdell Arena in Honolulu, defeating the “New York Bad Ass” via TKO due to punches early into the fifth round and winning ICON Sport’s middleweight title. Baroni was dominant in the first round, taking the Hawaiian brawler to the mat right away and brutalizing him with strikes from the top. But Hose managed to hang in, and Baroni appeared gassed for the rest of the fight. In the second round, after Hose was warned for striking Baroni in the back of the head, Baroni leaned over with his hands on his knees and desperately sucked air; in the third round, he came out with his hands down. Hose pounded on Baroni through the third and fourth rounds, and at one point during the fourth, Baroni actually crawled under the bottom rope to escape the onslaught; he was deducted a point. Hose put Baroni out of his misery in the fifth, dropping the NYBA with a punch and finishing him on the ground. The fight was called at the 0:26 mark.

Baroni was attended to by paramedics before being taken to a hospital. As Baroni’s manager Ken Pavia told Sherdog, “Phil’s alert, he’s responsive. It was a tough fight, but he’ll physically be OK…I guess perhaps we underestimated his ability to get in shape in a short period of time, [Baroni] didn’t have it in the gas tank for five and Kala came up and fought a great fight.” Hose, who increased his record to 6-1, called the match “the best fight of my life.” Logically, his first title defense should be against former champion Robbie Lawler as soon as Lawler can get healthy.

We hadn’t heard of any of the other 24 fighters on the “To Hell and Back” card, but if you’re interested in the results, they’re after the jump.

(Aoki’s magic tights couldn’t protect him from a fight-ending elbow strike. Photo courtesy of MMAWeekly.)

Dream’s debut event went down earlier today in Japan and showcased some soild action and an annoying “no contest.” To the surprise of no one, Cro Cop rocked Tatsuya Mizuno, ending the fight by a KO just 56 ticks into the match. Mizuno was drilled repeatedly by Cro Cop’s punches and couldn’t recover to survive the onslaught.

MMA Weekly has a choice quote from Cro Cop:

“A lot of fighters refuse to fight me these days, but he had courage and he accepted,” said Filipovic afterward from center ring. “For my next fight, I will need a stronger opponent, so anyone is welcome.”

Well, if you need a stronger opponent, anyone is not welcome. Let’s just get him a worthy adversary next time.

In the Lightweight Grand Prix fight many of us were eyeing, Gesias “J.Z.” Calvancante and Shinya Aoki’s fight was ruled a “no contest” which always blows. J.Z. caught Aoki with an elbow to the back – which is illegal – and the ref stopped the action. Aoki was given ample time to recover, but couldn’t continue. “J.Z.” reportedly did some weird arm-raising prayer routine in his corner while waiting for Aoki to bounce back. When the fight was called by the ringside doc, both fighters apologized to the fans.

In other notable fights, Mitsuhiro Ishida beat Jung Kyung by decision in a fight that had many complaining for lack of actual fighting. “Dida” Amade and mouthy Eddie Alvarez saw Alvarez overpower and pound away, giving the Philly native the win.

Tatsuya Kawajiri outagressed Kultar “The Black Mamba” Gill for a decision win, and Ikuhisa “Minowaman” Minowa kneebarred Lee Gwan into a submission at 1:25 of the first. The tournament winners will fight in May to see who goes to the finials in July.

This joy ride happened when Joe was in Columbus, Ohio for UFC 82. An Affliction t-shirt-wearing douche decided to heckle Rogan during his set. We’ve learned you don’t fuck with Joe in an MMA bout. And we also know you don’t fuck with Joe in a “To Catch A Predator”-style bust. This guy wasn’t aware.

UFC.com put up an entertaining and surprisingly frank rundown of the current career prospects of every castmember of The Ultimate Fighter 3. Michael Bisping is labeled “The Top Gun” for his star power and relative success in the Octagon, while Ed Herman and Matt Hamill are in the “A Win or Two Away” category and Kendall Grove lands in the “On the Bubble” group for his recent losses. No surprises there, but it’s interesting to read up on some of the UFC castoffs who you haven’t thought about since TUF‘s third season — the never-wills who make up the list’s “Off the Radar” category. Some highlights:

Noah Inhofer
UFC record – Never fought in the UFC
Do I need to even go here? A participant in one of the most bizarre incidents in TUF history when he left the house because he wasn’t allowed a call to his girlfriend. There aren’t too many certainties in this world, but I’d be willing to bet that Inhofer (1-1 since the show) won’t ever be setting foot in the Octagon after the way he left the show.

Solomon Hutcherson
UFC record 0-1
Along with buddy Kendall Grove, was one of the ‘Dagger’ twins on the show (Ed. note: Aw man, you remember how annoying that was? Dagger!), and he showed promise, but ultimately his chin was what let him down, both during the series when he was knocked out by Rory Singer, and in the TUF3 finale, when he drew a tough opponent in Luigi Fioravanti and was KOed again. Went 2-0 in two fights outside of the UFC in 2007.

Danny Abbadi
UFC record 0-2
A nice kid with heart, Abbadi just wasn’t ready for the UFC, and though he dropped to lightweight and went the distance with Jorge Gurgel at UFC 63 after being submitted by Kalib Starnes at middleweight at the TUF3 finale, it’s unlikely he’ll be back in the Octagon anytime soon, especially with a 1-2 record in small shows since the loss to Gurgel.

In reference to gash-face Ross Pointon, the article says “if Pointon’s talent matched his heart, he’d be Anderson Silva.” Right. And if your aunt had a dick she’d be your uncle.

(A Dreamy Fighter: ex-pro baseballer, Gwan Lee.)

Nothing like waiting until the last minute to name an opponent for Ikuhisa “Minowaman” Minowa at tomorrow’s DREAM 1. And with all that extra time, you’d think they would have gotten a better opponent. Instead, Minowaman will be fighting a former Korean professional baseball player. Actually, he’s still Korean to our knowledge, but no longer a baseball player. His name is Gwan Lee and he owns an MMA record of…who knows? His middle name is also reportably “Bun”, which kind of makes me smile.

Look, we know Minowaman is on a two fight losing slide and needs a win. DREAM wants him to win, but can’t we find some tomato can who has somewhat of an MMA career going? I’m just saying. As we’ve stated, this is a rockin’ card with some great match-ups, but this one is even more weak than the Cro Cop versus Tatsuya Mizuno fight. Oh well, suppose you can’t win them all.

Here’s the final, final card for DREAM’s debut show, set to go tomorrow in Japan. The tournament fights will be broken up by the non-tournament fights.

Non-Tournament Fights:
Ikuhisa “Minowaman” Minowa vs. Gwan Lee
Hayato Sakurai vs. Hidetaka Monma
Mirko Cro Cop Filipovic vs. Tatsuya Mizuno

Tournament Fights:
Joachim Hansen vs. Koutetsu Boku
Kazuyuki Miyata vs. Luis Buscape
Katsuhiko Nagata vs. Artur Umakhanov
Mitsuhiro Ishida vs. Bukyung Jung
Andre “Dida” Amade vs. Eddie Alvarez
Tatsuya Kawajiri vs. Kultar “Black Mamba” Gill
Gesias “JZ Calvan” Calvancante vs. Shinya Aoki

(Props to MMA Japan for the assist.)

Our 16 favorite noms de guerre, and our favorite photos found through Google-image-searching those words/phrases. High concept, we know, but stay with us and click on the links.

16. Jeremy “Gumby” Horn

15. Mauricio “Shogun” Rua

14. Bret “The Angry Hick” Bergmark

13. Evangelista “Cyborg” Santos

12. Rameau Thierry “The African Assassin” Sokoudjou

11. Don “The Predator” Frye

Check out this news segment about ICON Sport’s “To Hell and Back” event tomorrow, where Phil Baroni will take on Kala Kolohe Hose for the vacant middleweight title. To summarize…

Baroni: “Ain’t no Hawaiian guy that’s gonna beat me. Dudes wish they were me, chicks wish they were with me.”
Hose: “[unintelligible]”

By the way, is this what anchormen in Hawaii really look like? Did we just catch this guy on casual Friday? Our ears are still ringing from that shirt.

Also, here’s Rampage Jackson and Forrest Griffin chatting about their July title fight on Inside MMA. Quinton passes out from boredom at 2:40.

I think I know what this show needs: a live studio audience. Applause for new guests and scattered chuckles at the weak jokes would really fill those dead spaces.

Oh, and if you’re interested, here’s Chris Leben biting through a two-liter bottle of Diet Pepsi and then barfing. Good times.

First we mocked him for pulling out of his WEC 33 fight against Chael Sonnen. Then it looked like he sacked up and the fight was back on. Well, now it’s off again, and drugs are reportedly to blame for Filho’s mysterious depression and personal issues. From WEC.tv:

WEC Middleweight Champion Paulo Filho has chosen to withdraw from his March 26th title defense against Chael Sonnen after voluntarily checking himself into an undisclosed rehabilitation center in Brazil on Thursday morning, March 13, to seek help for a substance abuse problem.

“This is horrible news, but we’re proud of him for stepping up and recognizing his problem,” said Filho’s manager, Ed Soares…“Paulo apologizes to his fans but he thanks them for their support and he promised that the next time they see him, he’ll be back at 100 percent and will be the Paulo Filho everyone expects to see.”

The WEC light heavyweight title bout between Doug Marshall and Brian Stann will now be moved into the March 26th main event slot. Any further plans regarding the card will be announced at a later date.

In a follow-up article on Sherdog, Jorge Guimaraes — also referred to as Filho’s manager — added:

“We tried our best with Filho, but it didn’t work and he’ll not fight in the WEC. He tried with all his effort to accomplish the title defense, but he realized he couldn’t do it due to chemical dependence and depression. He knew this kind of stuff does not have a link with the sport, and I’m happy he had a conscience and looked for help…The WEC staff was superb with us. They understood the situation, and Filho will return and defend his belt in June.”

Well, we wouldn’t bet on it. We’ve watched enough Celebrity Rehab to know that Filho has two choices here: focus on his recovery for a long period of time and get healthy, or go back to training and fighting around the same people and situations that allowed his drug problem to escalate in the first place. An extended rehab stay is necessary, but it could seriously get in the way of his training. Who knows if he’ll be ready three months from now, mentally or physically? We’ll update you when we know more, and we truly hope Filho can bounce back from this and eventually get on with his truly promising career.

Congratulations Gavin Haughey — you’ve just won $500 in cash and $500 in Serious Pimp gear for creating the highest-voted t-shirt in our Serious Pimp design contest. Gavin’s design, known as “Good Evening Bitches” (above), edged out Ray Thorsky’s “Manuscript” piece by just 16 votes. We’ll keep you updated on how the dude spends his money. Our suggestion? Convert that shit into singles and make it rain!

Unrelated: There’s a new poll on the homepage — take it.

It takes a special human being to command this sort of emotional range.

The network TV deal beast was recently conquered by EliteXC when they signed up with CBS for a four-event deal and now their frequent co-promoter, Strikeforce, is following in their footsteps. The California-based company is reportedly ready to sign with one-time UFC possibility, NBC. MMAJunkie says a formal announcement could be made in the next week, though it should be noted that the head cheeses over at Strikeforce have yet to comment. For now, we’ll take “no news” as “good news.”

It’s also possible that Strikeforce may air an event on NBC even before EliteXC goes up – possibly airing a highlight show in April. The highlight shows are popular these days, from Spike TV’s treatment of some UFC events, PRIDE on FOX Sports, to the IFL’s Best Of’s. Time slot would be key for Strikeforce, especially if they start airing live events.

The program will likely air on late Saturday nights (early Sunday mornings) either immediately after or soon after the hit NBC series, “Saturday Night Live.”

Although unconfirmed, there’s speculation that the deal could possibly lead to live or, at the very least, tape-delayed Strikeforce events airing on NBC. However, other than the weekly highlights show, few other details of the deal are known at the time.

What goes hand-in-hand more than “SNL” and “MMA”? Exactly. Seems like they’d pick a better lead-in – say something other than a ratings-challenged show that jumped the shark back in the 90′s. But enough bitchin’ about that.