He’s dumped roommates in garbage cans and flame-broiled cockblockers. But in this episode, Kimbo Slice deals with an office lunch-stealer through the power of conversation. (Spoiler alert: Just kidding!)

(Sorry bro, rock beats finger.)

Nightmare of Battle has the official fight order for Saturday’s highly-anticipated DREAM show. Notably, the fight between Gesias Calvancante and Shinya Aoki will headline the event, Cro Cop’s match with Tatsuya Mizuno will serve as a break between the first half of the lightweight tournament bouts and the second, and the opener will be Ikuhisa Minowa in an “open-weight” fight against a freak to be named tomorrow. Cutting it kind of close, huh? Anyway, the lineup goes like this:

Lightweight Tournament 1st Round (second group)
10. J.Z. Calvan vs. Shinya Aoki
9. Tatsuya Kawajiri vs. Black Mamba (Kultar Gill)
8. Andre Dida vs. Eddie Alvarez

Heavyweight Feature
7. Mirko CroCop vs. Tatsuya Mizuno

Lightweight Tournament 1st Round (first group)
6. Mitsuhiro Ishida vs. Jung Bu Kyung
5. Katsuhiko Nagata vs. Artur Umakhanov
4. Kazuyuki Miyata vs. Luis Buscape
3. Kotetsu Boku vs. Joachim Hansen

Welterweight Feature
2. Hayato Sakurai vs. Hidetaka Monma (correction: This fight isn’t part of the lightweight tournament, as we said yesterday. Props to reader “robnashville” for being smarter than us.)

Open Weight Fight
1. Minowaman vs. TBA

Christ, I’d give my left nipple to be at this show. Joachim Hansen could be a dark horse to win it all, though most likely the eventual winner will be the guy who survives Saturday’s main event. Calvancante’s utter domination of his past opponents make him the obvious front-runner, and he’s been working with Eddie Bravo to deal with Aoki’s rubber guard and straightjacket-like grappling. There are some interesting betting lines here, which list Ishida/Kyung-Jung as the biggest first-round mismatch (-1000/+550), Kawajiri as the favorite to win the entire tournament, and Kultar “Black Mamba” Gill as a laughable +3800 under-underdog to go all the way. Holler at a brotha’s comments section if you have any big predictions for the show…

You know that guy who still says Whaaaaaazzzzzuuuuuuppppp! all the time? Kind of like the guy who is keeping the “Priceless” line alive. It’s about time both of these pop culture polluters died.

If you’re into “priceless” moments, Frank was on Sherdog today. He fights Cung Le on March 29th.

(Brad Blackburn: “My nickname sucks ass.”)

It’s about three weeks away from the IFL’s next event – which will see the return of Chris Horodecki when he takes on the just added lightweight, Nate Lamotte. Lamotte is an IFL virgin and is not the only fighter being added to the April 4th fight card. Featherweight Rafael Dias will be fighting in his second IFL battle when he joins another IFL addition, first time IFLer Carmelo Marrero, to battle for American Top Team.

ATT will face Miletich Fighting Systems’ fighters Mike Ciesnolevicz and L.C. Davis (Davis will face Dias). The last addition is “Bad” Brad Blackburn, who has compiled a 3-6 record since 2005 with one no contest. No stranger to the IFL, “Bad” Brad is slated to face Delson Heleno, who at 13-4, will be looking to bounce back from an injury TKO to Jay Hieron in December.

Here’s the rundown for the rest of the event:

When: Friday, April 4, 2008
Where: East Rutherford, N.J.

Additional Bout
155 lbs.: Chris Horodecki (11-1) vs. Nate Lamotte (6-2)

American Top Team vs. Miletich Fighting Systems
145 lbs.: Rafael Dias (10-3-1) vs. LC Davis ( 9-1)
170 lbs.: Emyr Bussade (10-5) vs. Rory Markham (12-3)
205 lbs.: Carmelo Marrero (7-2) vs. Mike Ciesnolevicz (13-3)

Midwest Combat vs. Renzo Gracie Academy
155 lbs.: Bart Palaszewski (29-10) vs. Deividas Taurosevicius (9-2)
170 lbs.: Brad Blackburn (11-9-1) vs. Delson Heleno (13-4)
205 lbs.: Vladimir Matyushenko (20-3) vs. Jamal Patterson (4-1)

Additional Championship Bouts
170 lbs.: Jay Hieron (14-4) vs. Mark Miller (8-2)
145 lbs.: Wagnney Fabiano (9-1) vs. Shad Lierley (2-1)

Urijah Faber keeps the look alive…

(Props: CombatLifestyle via BloodyElbow)

(Best. Shirt. Ever.)

…at least that’s what was implied in WrestlingonTap’s new quickie interview with EliteXC boss Gary Shaw. When Shaw was asked about Emelianenko’s impending free agency, he said:

We would love to have Fedor with our organization. But Fedor and his people need to be realistic about what they are asking for. He hasn’t had a top fight in awhile. He needs to get back to fighting top competition. In the United States out of sight is out of mind.

So, we’re guessing that Shaw’s camp approached Emelianenko after news of M-1 Global’s impending collapse started to break, but were rebuffed by the two-headed demon of Finkelchtein/Echteld who demanded $2 million per fight and a guarantee that he’d never have to face Kimbo Slice. We commend Shaw for stopping just short of calling Fedor a “farce,” and we have to agree with the underlying message that Fedor Emelianenko’s name only carries weight with hardcore MMA fans, so maybe his management team should actually develop him into a star before they get all prima-donna-y.

Shaw also had some bitter words for his UFC rival, Dana White:

“First of all Dana should be ashamed of using that type of language. There is no reason for it. Dana thinks that he invented the sport of mma. He is very lucky that he had rich friends in the Fertittas to fund the sport…and even more lucky that SpikeTV bailed him out of a $35 million deficit. It’s no wonder that fighters like Tito Ortiz and others are fed up with him. Dana doesn’t care about the fighters and treating them well…

As far as Dana saying that I was never a fan of mixed martial arts, ask him to produce articles or tape on me saying the things he said I said. It can’t happen. I was watching MMA with my son back when Dana was selling used cars…”

Oooooh! That’s the best “I was doing x when you were still doing y” line since Hillary Clinton hit Barack Obama with “I was fighting against those ideas when you were practicing law and representing your contributor, Rezko, in his slum-landlord business in inner-city Chicago.” Who could forget that zinger!

Besides his astounding fighting ability, Gesias “JZ” Calvancante has another advantage going into DREAM‘s all-star lightweight tournament that kicks off Saturday night in Saitama, Japan — he’s already faced three of the guys in the bracket. JZ scored a first-round TKO of Hidetaka Monma at K-1 Hero’s 5 in May 2006, knocked off Andre “Dida” Amade last September to win the K-1 Hero’s 2007 middleweight tournament, and ate his only loss via a decision to Joachim Hansen at a Shooto match in 2004. Here’s his meeting with Dida, which went from wild slugfest to JZ’s usual assault-from above, ending with a brutal armbar. Below that is Calvancante’s opening-round match against Vitor Ribeiro from the same night, in which Shaolin was utterly dominated in 35 seconds.

(Yushin Okami)

Who Anderson Silva should fight next is current debate among MMA fans. Silva himself seems bored with the weak competition and has even got his eye on going toe-to-toe with champion – or ex-champion – boxers. On the MMA side of things, the name that keeps popping up to fight Silva is Yushin Okami, the middleweight that beat The Spider via disqualification a little over two years ago in a Rumble on the Rock tournament. Silva spoke to Sherdog recently – via his manager, Ed Soares – and is non too pleased with the Okami win.

Silva was dominating the fight. When Silva went to his back, Okami got in some of his best strikes of the bout. But an upkick from The Spider connected with Okami’s mug, sending the fighter back. Troy “Rude Boy” Mandaloniz held Silva back from exacting more pain to Okami. Why did “Rude Boy” hold Silva back, you ask? He was the ref for the match. That’ll for sure be a question in Trivial Pursuit: MMA, so remember it. Anyway, Okami couldn’t recover and the DQ gave him the win.

Silva has a different point of view:

“I feel it was a cheap, cowardly way of winning,” a pointed Silva says more than two years after the scrap. “People that were there saw that he was in the condition to come back and keep fighting, and he didn’t.”

Silva says he doesn’t “really think much of anything of Okami,” but the Brazilian was more poised when stuck under Henderson than he is when discussing the Japanese fighter.

“It wasn’t really a fight,” Silva describes the disqualification loss before adding that he doesn’t want to talk about it anymore.

When he’s not correcting Mike Goldberg’s mistakes or calling out Carlos Mencia for being a fucking thief, UFC commentator Joe Rogan likes to get high. But it’s not always with illegal drugs — sometimes he likes to explore unknown dimensions of his inner consciousness by hanging out in his sensory deprivation tank. In the video above, Joe Rogan explains how the tank works, and reveals that he’s giving away his old tank to one lucky subscriber on his mailing list. Go here to learn waaaaay more about this whole sensory deprivation thing. We’ll leave you with an excerpt:

Just because we can’t sense something doesn’t mean it’s not there.
One way that I like to put it that makes it easy to grasp is what I like to call “the fart analogy.”
The way it works is, if I cut a fart in front of you and you didn’t hear it, and you don’t have a nose, how would you know?
You wouldn’t have a clue, would you?
You would just be sitting in my stench, completely oblivious.

Mmm, how true.

(Mark Hunt is the undisputed king of getting punched in the face.)

— Tryouts for the eighth season of The Ultimate Fighter will kick off in Boston on April 10th. Expect lawts of wicked ahsome ahmbahs.

— Keita Nakamura took one of Rob Emerson’s toes in his eye, and now he has myodesopsia. “I see many bugs though they don’t exist…I can tell this is an unlucky year.”

— UFC 85 (June 7th, London) will feature a bout between lightweights Thiago Tavares and Matt Wiman, and may also feature a middleweight match between Nate Marquardt and Thales Leites.

— Mark Hunt and his titanium-reinforced chin will return to MMA competition in May.

— BET’s blingy MMA show The Iron Ring debuts next Tuesday. The press release is here: “Headlining the show is boxing champ Floyd Mayweather (with the assistance of hip-hop star Rick Ross) managing the Money Mayweather Boys, along with hip-hop heavyweights Ludacris and Nelly representing Team Luda and Team Nelly (respectively).” Do you really need to know anything else?

— Dana White threatens Les Moonves’s ass, then admits that Andrei Arlovski hasn’t been feeling the love.

— Despite troll-jobs to the contrary, Tito Ortiz is quite healthy and will still be competing at UFC 84.

(“Before I tried Subway’s ‘Go Straight!’ diet, this is what my pants used to look like.”)

I don’t pretend to know anything about the Oregon political scene — and apparently neither does the state’s Republican party, who failed to submit candidates for several critical offices in time for yesterday’s deadline to file. Basically, shit’s in shambles, and MMA star Matt Lindland is trying to capitalize:

[As] is traditional on the filing deadline day, there were a few last-minute surprises. Republican House hopefuls will include both a former U.S. Congressman, Jim Bunn, who filed on Tuesday for the McMinnville seat held by retiring Rep. Donna Nelson, and an ultimate fighting champion, middleweight Matt Lindland of Eagle Creek, who is running for the seat vacated by retiring Rep. Patti Smith, R-Corbett.

Lindland is running on the following four-part platform:

— Increased school funding.

— A temporary sanction on non-domestic armbars.

— Abolishment of the 6% gross receipts tax on Oregon MMA events, and significant tax breaks for IFL coaches.

— The recognition of BodogFight as a terrorist organization, and large foreheads as “God’s Beautiful Creation.”

We’ll let you know when Lindland’s once-respectable image is brought down by the inevitable sex-scandal.

A future mixed martial arts champion was derailed recently by an angry accountant that went loco when said future champ was beating his future accountant kid in a 15-16 age division karate match. One must be impressed by the crazy dad’s technique – he didn’t even scuff his penny loafers.

This coming on the heels of an 11-year-old wrestling phenom who was gunning for a career in MMA, but had second thoughts when he realized large, hairy dudes who tuck their T-shirts into their jeans were allowed to enter the fighting area and toss him around.

Though it’s not official, offers have been made to the douche dads for a headlining match at UFC 90: Worst Dad Ever.

(…or group-gropes.)

With the UFC’s heavyweight division utterly bereft of legitimate contenders to face Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira, the organization may need to start thinking creatively. And if they need Chuck Liddell to bail them out, Liddell would be up for it.

On Fight Network Radio, Chuck said he’d be willing to fight Minotauro for the interim big-boy belt if the UFC requests it. “If they want to set it up. I’m willing to do it,” he said. “Honestly I would like to get my title back at light heavyweight and then talk about moving up, but if that came up, (that) too is a possibility.”

Though Liddell is aching for another crack at Quinton Jackson, a win over Rashad Evans technically shouldn’t put him any closer to a title shot, and Chuck probably wouldn’t fare any better in a third match with Rampage than he did in their first two fights. He had a great run as the light-heavyweight champ — instead of chasing past glory, why not shoot for a new accomplishment and take on Nog at heavyweight? Especially if we’re talking about an immediate title shot (well, after Chuck gets through Rashad Evans, of course). Big as he is, Nogueira is beatable. And Rampage has Chuck figured out. Simple math, people.

(Thiago Silva has been booked to fight “The Silva Hunter.”)

Believe it!

— Scary undefeated Brazilian light-heavyweight Thiago Silva, who was originally slated to face Rashad Evans at UFC 84 in May, will now battle Antonio Mendes in light of Evans being signed to fight Chuck Liddell at UFC 85. Mendes has put together a record of 14-2 fighting in organizations you’ve never heard of, and will be making his UFC debut. He went 9-0 last year, including three wins at a one-night tournament in June where all three fights went the distance, and another two wins in April on consecutive nights in different promotions. Mendes also holds a career record of 3-0 against other guys named Silva, which could be the defining stat of the matchup.

— Speaking of potentially lopsided matchups, Strikeforce announced last night that Gilbert Melendez will be facing some guy named Gabe Lemley at their March 29th EliteXC/Showtime co-promoted card, with a lightweight championship belt on the line. Melendez is coming off his first career loss, having dropped a decision to Mitsuhiro Ishida at Yarennoka! on New Year’s Eve. Lemley lost four of his first five fights before turning his career around, and now sports a still-shitty 11-6 record. And he’s fighting for a belt. And we think that’s just super.

(You are looking at a crazy man.)

What the hell is going on over at Revolution Fight Team? Kultar “Black Mamba” Gill – who is fighting Tatsuya Kawajiri in the first round of Dream 1′s lightweight grand prix in Japan on Saturday – recently spoke to Sherdog about his injury he suffered in the first round of the K-1 Hero’s middleweight tourney against Hideo Tokoro. A blown disc in his neck sapped the strength from his left arm and bone-fusion surgery had to be done to install a plate in his neck in order for him to continue fighting. Think that’s tough? Consider fellow Revolution fighter, Jose “Pele” Landi-Jons.

Pele fought at TKO 32 – Ultimatum a couple of weeks ago and lost when he sustained a Joe Theisman-style leg injury. The break came on a low kick by Pele causing both his tibia and fibula to poke through the skin. He’s out for months, right?

“Pele is nuts, man!” Gill said with an incredulous laugh. “He broke his leg on Thursday, had surgery, came back in the gym on Monday and he was walking no crutches or nothing. So four days later he was running around, talking Brazilian and yelling at everybody — he’s crazy man.”

A metal rod was placed in Pele’s leg, so now the low kicks will be like taking a crow bar to the shin. If you relish the grotesque, check out Pele’s flopping leg at the :20 second mark. I think I’ll skip lunch and dinner today.

It’s a nice little Saturday and you find yourself wondering what Tito is doing at that exact moment. Probably watching himself on YouTube, would be my guess. ‘Jennito’ was out and about again and it’s yet another example of Jenna Jameson restraining herself from jabbing a chopstick through the Huntington Beach Bad Boy’s circus-sized melon. In the video – on the red carpet of the Never Back Down premiere – the HBBB also talks about his upcoming projects, including “Any Town Throwdown” with G4. The pilot started shooting this week – not sure if it is taking the place of “Settle Your Grudge” with some of the Gracie clan or not. Tito also made sure to plug his upcoming book, This Is Gonna’ Hurt, where he says we’ll get “the real Tito Ortiz”. Yeah, I’ll rush out to buy that one. He also recently signed with powerhouse agency William-Morris and they’re grooming him to be the next action star. Oh and Jenna has “a lot” of projects coming up, but doesn’t seem to recall any of them at the moment. Guess she’s too embarrassed to mention Zombie Strippers.

‘Jennito’ makes their appearance at the :45 second mark.

And after getting his ogre cranium fired from The Celebrity Apprentice Tito seems a little more focused on MMA again. The fighter also recently did an interview with JarryPark.com where he discussed his UFC status and left just a slight glimmer of hope that the May 24th Machida fight will not be his last for the UFC – even though he seems pretty adamant about it being the last fight every time he speaks about it…like every time he’s on camera. He chatted briefly about some of the organizations he might want to fight for – EliteXC and HDNet Fights included among the ones he respects – and whichever one it is he insists they have to put him front and center and utilize his mike skills. Tito, those aren’t skills. It’s you liking the sound of your voice.

Other topics covered: “The Third Most Dangerous Shamrock” and his sad, sad performance against Robert “Buzz” Berry this past weekend, and why Tito won’t wrestle full time. Check out the full interview here.

From a Shooto event called “Shooting Disco 4: Born in the Fighting” (!!!), held on February 23rd. If you don’t have time to sit through all 137 seconds of this fight, just jump to the video’s 2:14 mark and brace yourself. Live by the leg-scissor choke, die by the leg-scissor choke. Great photo of the uncomfortable-looking moment of impact here…

(Props: Bloody Elbow)

(That doesn’t look too pleasant.)

Having cleared out the UFC’s middleweight division in scorched-earth fashion, Anderson Silva is looking ahead to new challenges — specifically, taking on Roy Jones Jr. in a boxing match. As Silva’s manager Ed Soares told MMAWeekly:

“It’s not just talk, we really would like to put that fight together…We respect Jones’ boxing ability and think he’s one of the best. but we’re tired of different boxers saying that MMA fighters aren’t technical. Anderson would love to fight Roy Jones in a boxing match under boxing rules to prove that MMA fighters are technical, too.”

Once considered the best pound-for-pound boxer in the world, Jones (now 39 years old) has won championship belts as a middleweight, super middleweight, light heavyweight, and heavyweight, and once held seven different light heavyweight (169-175 pounds) titles at the same time. Besides a disqualification loss to Montell Griffin in 1997, Jones went undefeated in his first 50 fights before losing three straight in 2004-2005. His last fight was a unanimous decision victory over Felix Trinidad in January.

If Anderson Silva is actually considering a temporary switch to boxing, he should probably aim a little lower for his first opponent, lest he go out like Brock Lesnar. And taking some time off from MMA feels a little premature anyway — it’s not like there are literally no challenges left for Silva in the UFC. For one thing, there’s Yushin Okami, the impossible-to-finish contender who previously “beat” Silva through an illegal upkick DQ in January 2006; it would be nice to settle that score. I also think Silva should have to take on Michael Bisping, Patrick Cote, and Demian Maia in the same night. What, you wouldn’t pay $44.95 to see that?

(Wow. Good luck, man.)

Yoshihiro Nakao must have just realized he had a previous engagement or something, because DREAM is now saying that Tatsuya Mizuno will instead be taking on Mirko Filipovic at DREAM’s debut show this Saturday in Japan. And is Mizuno a worthy opponent for Cro Cop? Oh, sure! I mean, after all, we’re talking about a guy with a 4-2 record in Pancrase, who’s been previously stomped by Thiago Silva and UFC washout Assuerio Silva. He should present a stiff challenge to Mirko — still, we’re calling it for Cro Cop via head kick KO, nine seconds into round one. But fortunately, we think this opponent will finally stick, and we hope Mizuno can train hard over the next four days by taking lots of naps. It’ll be an honor just to meet Filipovic’s left foot.

One thing that Mizuno won’t have to worry about is being soccer kicked when he’s down. Nightmare of Battle has a translation of the DREAM rules, which work out like this:

— 10 minute first round, 5 minute second round, 90 seconds between rounds.

— Fights are judged in their entirety and no draws are possible.

— Stomps and soccer kicks to the head of a grounded opponent are not allowed, but knees to the head of a grounded opponent are allowed. If both fighters are on the ground, head kicks are allowed. If there is a 15 kg or more weight difference, no stomps, soccer kicks, or knees to the head of a grounded opponent are allowed.

Due to the sizable difference in talent, Cro Cop will also be blindfolded. And the betting line still has him as a -950 favorite…

MMA-related movies have been coming out of the woodwork lately and among the viewing choices are the David Mamet project Red Belt, the Gary Busey-starring Beyond The Ring, Frank Shamrock‘s Red Canvas, and this Friday’s teen MMA whathaveyou Never Back Down. We had refrained from endorsing any of these films, although a new one has emerged that certainly looks like the front runner for our stamp of approval.

This can be nothing short of fantastic.

(Thomas “Wildman” Denny during his X-Men audition. He didn’t get the part.)

The EliteXC has revealed their fight card for the March 21st ShoXC: Elite Challenger Series – the fifth installment in the series. In the top fight, kickboxing champ Malaipet “The Diamond” Sitprapom – who has very limited MMA experience – will battle Thomas Denny. Here’s what the Muay Thai specialist Sitprapom had to say:

“I started watching MMA when I got to the U.S. and liked what I saw,’” said Sitprapom. “I respect both Muay Thai and MMA. I am still learning, but I feel I have what it takes to make it in MMA.”

Thomas “Wildman” Denny is 25-16 and last fought in a losing effort by KO to Joe Camacho seven weeks ago. Denny will want this one to go to the ground because a stand-up fight against Sitprapom is not where he wants to be. Denny has 14 submissions in his 25 wins, opposed to 7 KO’s. He has spent much of his career as a King of the Cage brawler and endured a five-fight losing streak from 1999-2001 to piece together a solid career. To his advantage against a striker like Sitprapom, Denny has only been knocked out twice in his 16 losses.

(With the money he picked up from UFC 82, Spider would be able to buy 260,000 items from the dollar menu.)

TheMMADigest recently posted an impressive list of day-jobs held by notable mixed martial artists. Some of them are part of the fighters’ personal mythologies — we all know that Rich Franklin was a high school teacher, Clay Guida was a carpenter, Mirko Cro Cop was some sort of Croatian cop, and Houston Alexander still works as a hip-hop DJ. Others are a little more suprising. Did you know…

…Luke Cummo delivered pizzas, drove a cab, and tested video games?

…Leonard Garcia was an assistant manager at Frito-Lay?

…Cheick Kongo was an agent for a musical act in France? (Something called ‘Le Aristrocrats’)

…Karo Parisyan was a stuntman?

…Mauricio Rua was a model?

…Diego Sanchez worked at UPS?

…Anderson Silva worked at McDonald’s?

The list also says that Wanderlei Silva used to work in a bar, but judging from this picture, he also spent time as a live-in nanny, and was beloved by the children for his delicious homemade empanadas.

Did one of your favorite fighters pay the bills through busking, dog-sitting, or providing personal transportation? Let us know in the comments section…

(Ed Herman: The guy who’s about to lose to the guy who could possibly be worthy of facing Anderson Silva one day.)

With just over a month to go until UFC 83, a pair of fights have been added to the preliminary card, bringing the event to a thick 11 fights total. The UFC announced today that TUF 3 finalist Ed “Short Fuse” Herman will take on undefeated Brazilian grappler Demian Maia, who choked out Ryan Jensen during his UFC debut last October; Herman is riding a three-fight win streak, his most recent being a knockout of Joe Doerksen at UFC 78 in November. The news follows up a weekend announcement confirming that heavyweights Brad Morris (8-2) and Cain Velasquez (2-0) will both make their Octagon debuts at UFC 83. Morris is a heavy-handed Australian striker who’s done time in King of the Cage and Bodog Fight. Despite his very limited professional experience, Velasquez was previously shouted out by his American Kickboxing Academy teammate Jon Fitch as the dude who will “turn the heavyweight world upside down in another year or two.”

With these additions, the final lineup to the April 19th Montreal show looks like this:

MAIN CARD
Matt Serra vs. Georges St. Pierre (for welterweight title)
Rich Franklin vs. Travis Lutter (middleweights)
Nate Quarry vs. Kalib Starnes (middleweights)
Michael Bisping vs. Charles McCarthy (middleweights)
Mac Danzig vs. Marc Bocek (lightweights)

PRELIMINARY CARD
Joe Doerksen vs. Jason MacDonald (middleweights)
Jason Day vs. Alan Belcher (middleweights)
Rich Clementi vs. Sam Stout (lightweights)
Kuniyoshi Hironaka vs. Jonathan Goulet (welterweights)
Ed Herman vs. Demian Maia (middleweights)
Brad Morris vs. Cain Velasquez (heavyweights)

So many middleweights, so little hope of ever beating Anderson Silva…

In other UFC news:

Masakazu Imanari’s featherweight title defense against Jean Silva at Saturday’s Cage Rage show seems to have been pulled from every video site on the Internet, so we’ll just post the video of how the “Ashikan Judan” (“10th-degree black belt in jumping locks,” or something) won the belt in the first place. Check out Imanari whiffing on two ridiculous flying kicks before tapping out Robbie Olivier with the kind of submission that earned him his nickname, at Cage Rage 20 in February 2007. Below that is Imanari taking one of his four career losses, at the hands of Joachim Hansen at PRIDE Bushido 8 (July 2005). Despite nearly pulling off one of his signature leglocks, Imanari eats a knee at the video’s 3:34 mark that’s so loud they could hear it in the next prefecture. Like a veteran home-run slugger making perfect contact with a fastball, Hansen just walks away, knowing it.

We reported last week that Cristiano Marcello was claiming to be Gilbert Melendez‘s opponent when the Strikeforce lightweight champ fights on March 29th, but now it appears that isn’t the case afterall. Strikeforce VP Mike Afromowitz has told MMAJunkie that nothing was signed for a Melendez/Marcello fight, but an opponent for Gilby might be revealed today. This is the third switch in plans for Melendez in the past week and a half – he was originally slated to be part of Dream 1‘s Lightweight Grand Prix, but then revealed he would instead defend his belt at the EliteXC/Strikeforce event “Shamrock vs Cung Le”.

Change has been the norm for Melendez of late. Before all this, he had been scheduled to fight other opponents — Josh Thompson and Jorge Masvidal — but they withdrew due to various injuries. The changes and rumors have been crazy for this guy, so stay tuned for updates in a few hours when Melendez will probably next be slated to headline a WWE event versus Hong-Man Choi — cornered by Rickson Gracie.

Speaking of Gracie, Cesar Gracie’s Graciefighter site is reporting that Nick Diaz will make his return on March 29th against Jae Suk Lim (aka, “The Korean Ice Pick”), the SpiritMC middleweight title holder. This is despite Lim saying after his last fight that he would next fight under ICON Sport. You’ll recall that Nick recently had plastic surgery to fix some of the scar tissue that was built up around his eyes. His volcanic eyeballs were the cause of his last loss — a doctor stoppage against KJ Noons. Well, scar tissue and getting punched in the face a lot were the cause.

“The Korean Ice Pick” is 9-3 and although not a huge name to MMA fans, he’s got the tools to bring it to Diaz. You might remember him from EliteXC: Renegade when he beat Daniel Pinedo via rear naked choke. Lim marks a change in plans for Diaz as well — Nick was originally to fight Muhsin Corbbrey on April 26th, but that fell through and Diaz was signed for the EliteXC/Strikeforce March event.

The show now includes Frank Shamrock vs. Cung Le, Jake Shields vs. Drew Fickett, Nick Diaz and Gilbert Melendez. This is a fightcard we’re liking.