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Triumph United CAPTION Contest: Fedor, Aleks, and Some Asian Kids

Fedor Emelianenko and Aleks Emelianenko

Here's the thing about those Triumph United comment contests we've been running: Finding/deciding on the finalists was a pain in the ass, and then all you people would do is bitch about our lame sense of humor. So we're going to switch it up this week with a good old-fashioned caption contest. The two readers who submit the funniest captions to the above picture by 4 p.m. ET on Friday will each get a Triumph United t-shirt of their choice. And seriously? Only those who enter will be allowed to complain later. You're on my last good nerve right now...

Triumph United MMA Union
("Union," only available at TU.)

Comments

The funny thinhg is these are average height asians

The brothers Emelianenko prepare for a light, pre-training snack, while simultaneously reducing China's on going population concerns. When asked to comment, Fedor simply said "they're just giving them away at the border."

ALEKS: yummy...japanese food
FEDOR: NO ALEKS!!! not food!!!

and...

little Asian kid 1: GODZILLA!!!
little Asian kid 2: WHO KNEW GODZILLA HAD A BROTHER!!!

Must be hard up for sparring partners. No low blows happening here.

It was at that point that Fedor began to wonder...were his wife and Sakuraba more than just "friends"?

Fedor and Aleks meet their next opponents...word is small asian child #1 recently went to a decision with Tim Sylvia

"...The stars signify that I'll never be brought to my knees. This spiderweb on my elbow signifies that I've committed murder in service to the brotherhood of thieves. The grim reaper and baby on my back...you know what, I probably shouldn't be telling you kids all this."

On a recent tour of Affliction's t-shirt factory, Fedor and Aleks misinterpreted their guide when he told them to "grab a few things ya like before you go".

Sometimes the best takedown defense is an armful of Asian kids.

"The hardest part about making camdbodian enchiladas is finding the right tortillas"

The Russian Happy Meal consists of two soulless Asian boys without shoes and the choice of one of two haircuts. Add another favored gendered child for just a buck.

Fedor and Aleks are disappointed to discover that the Russian word for "prostitute" sounds eerily like the Chinese word for "orphan."

Gives new meaning to the term 'sticky rice'

Fedor(left) and brother Aleks(right) can be seen with their children after spending many lonly *cough* nights in Japan during past pride events.

The management at PRIDE was known to award fight winners with strange non-cash incentives.

Pride Fighting trophies.

Fedor may have a better rank when it comes to mma, but aleksander is still the champ when it comes to how many asians kids you can lift.

"Alright, you got your photo? Can I put them down now? These fucking things smell like cabbage."

Fedor and Aleks stop by the Affliction sweat shop to thank the tailors.

Fedor: I like these kids cause their heads are the same shape as mine

Aleks: I like these kids cause their heads are the same shape as mine, plus this one up here has great fashion sense.

asian kid in teal: ITS JESUS

"After destroying and killing their children in the ring, we have chosen to adapt them and russiannize them with our awful clothing."

“After destroying and killing their fathers in the ring, we have chosen to adapt them and russiannize them with our awful clothing.”

Great...these will do wonders for my Wong Tong soup!

the kid in orange is saying: "They made me bend down like this 2 times."

And you thought the brown ones were cheap!

In Soviet Russia, five children have YOU.

Fedor hand-picking his next easy opponent.

We didn't know Japanese custom would require us to keep the kids after stomping their dads!

Once again Fedor and Aleks shock the world by signing with a new fledgling MMA organization, the “No Girls Allowed Championship".

The brothers took time to pose with the owners after the big announcement.

Fedor never thought the 5th round MMA toys were this life like....but they look nothing like Matt Hughes...

At the $en$ationally $ucce$$ful family-team promotion of CAGE POTATO: "MA$H-UP", Elephantine Emelianenkos elevate the the Tiny "Techo Giants" (Hong Man Choi's Lilliputians) with the double underhook before the Quintuple Sambo Slam.

The result of Fedor and Aleks f-cking up the Japanese for years. Time for those paternity tests boys.

He has this many fingers in my bad spot

Fedor and Aleks' training regimen for the upcoming Dream Matchup. If we can get enough of these kids it might just equal up to Tim Sylvia in height and experience.

"yeah...we're gonna fuck em...so?"

Bradgelia hahahaha....its looks like alekdor (aleks, fedor) has caught on to the hollywood adoption phenomenon...

Fedor and Aleks decide to find out just how many 5 year olds they can take.

In the rematch vs. FUJITA....FEDOR struck him so hard, he broke into 5 pieces.

The Emilianenko brothers shown here with fighter Shinya Aoki. We apologize for the blur effect of the stop motion camera, they couldn't throw him around any more slowly.

sex tourism sucks, just nobody dare to tell those two.

We found these in the halls, go back and make gloves for Fedor so Fedor can smash

"They might be too squishy!"

"Damn it, listen to me, I tell you they make the BEST gloves around! Just put your hand in one and try it out!"

They provide more feedback than a side of beef, to bad they have to be replaced so often.

Fedor: "1 million per fight or these little fuckers are coming with us"

"Fuck you angelina jolie we better be getting laid for this"

Paternity tests? I though that blood test was for our fighters license.

Baby.. the other other white meat!!!

Aleks: So, how do I do this Randleplex thing again?
Fedor: Here, I'll show you...

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Employing Fedor to fight in new super duper mma show: $2,000,000
Renting Five small Japanese children (two day rate): $17
Snapping Instant Photograph capturing memorable moments for the children: $1
Enlisting five Japanese children as Fedor's combined next opponent and therefore insuring his record continues in a growing direction: Priceless

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oh, and by the way, sorry for going to the whole visa commercial thing, I know its overdone, but I thought it was fitting

When we asked for some fresh meat this wasn't what we had in mind...