Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

May, 2008

Porn Sponsorship Nixed for ‘Saturday Night Fights’

Kimbo Slice and porn chicks
(Sorry Kimbo, that goes for fluffers too.)

Though the fighters involved in EliteXC’s “Saturday Night Fights” event stand to make record amounts of money from sponsorship deals, the way the fighters represent those sponsors is being strictly regulated by CBS. As FiveOuncesofPain reports:

[W]hile fighters can wear hats during their cage-walk entrance, they must wear an EliteXC hat while in the cage during their post-fight interview. The respective corner of a fighter also cannot drape a banner on the inside of the cage. Banners can only be displayed on the outside of the cage and can only advertise the fight camp that the fighter is representing.

Of course, CBS must give their blessing before a sponsor’s name is allowed anywhere in a fighter’s appearance, and not all sponsorships have made the cut. The most prominent 86′ing is that of Reality Kings, the porn web site company that Kimbo Slice used to bodyguard for, and which has had a visible place on Slice’s clothing and signage during his professional fights. As Gary Shaw said during a conference call on Thursday, “We understand what’s socially responsible, and CBS has a very high standard for standards and practices. And every logo we put on or whatever we do goes through CBS in their standards and practices.”

Disassociating MMA from porn is unquestionably a wise decision for this historic broadcast, and we can only hope that Mauro Ranallo has to submit all of his kooky metaphors for approval before the event as well. A girl-on-girl cagefight on national TV is edgy enough. Baby steps, people…


UFC 84 Fight Videos

Get ‘em while they last…

BJ Penn vs. Sean Sherk

Wanderlei Silva vs. Keith Jardine (Knockout of the Night)

Rousimar Palhares vs. Ivan Salaverry (Submission of the Night)


Cage Potato Ban: Talking Us Through The Replay

(‘I am waaaaay too high for this bullshit right now.’)

It is inevitably the most uncomfortable, unproductive moment of any UFC broadcast. It’s more worthless than the extended video game/shitty action movie promos. More worthless even than the closeups on celebrities in the crowd, which at least has the virtue of Shaquille O’Neal’s childlike exuberance for the sport and Mandy Moore’s impressive cycle of facial expressions (wholesome, enthusiastic, coquetteish — all in a few seconds!).

The most cringeworthy moment of any UFC pay-per-view comes when we hear those magic words from Joe Rogan: “Talk us through the (insert name of alcoholic beverage sponsor) replay.”

Please, someone tell me when this has ever yielded any commentary worth hearing. It’s not that fighters don’t have anything interesting to say. It’s just that they usually don’t have anything interesting to say right then. They’re out of breath, riding high on adrenaline, and already thinking about the after-party. What do you want them to say?


Mac Danzig To Face Clay Guida At UFC 87

(Voted most likely to give you lice that he picked up in a foreign youth hostel.)

UFC 87 may have lost its Mark Coleman-Brock Lesnar match-up, but another interesting lightweight contest has been added, says MMA Junkie. Ultimate Fighter winner Mac Danzig has reportedly agreed to a bout with Clay Guida to take place on the August 9 event.

This adds to an already strong fight card featuring a welterweight title contest between Georges St. Pierre and Jon Fitch, as well as a lightweight showdown between top contenders Kenny Florian and Roger Huerta and Heath Herring stepping in to replace Coleman against Lesnar.

This will be Danzig’s first real test since fighting his way into the UFC. Guida has had his share of tough bouts lately, with mixed results. While it’s still a few months away and as vulnerable as any other card to the typical assault of injuries, imprisonments, and other unfortunate happenings, you have to admit that as of now it looks like a solid lineup. Now let’s just hope that nobody gets struck by lighting in the meantime.


Tito Ortiz Talks Post-Fight Press Conference Drama

(Props: Five Ounces of Pain)

So you think you’re going to take attention away from Tito Ortiz just because a) he didn’t fight in the main event, and b) he lost a unanimous decision? Not likely. Leave it to Ortiz to find some way to get us all talking about him the morning after. Thank God Jenna Jameson was there to make this whole encounter seem that much weirder.


Sunday Morning Coming Down: Notes on UFC 84

(Photo courtesy of

Well, that was fun, no? A night full of surprises, a few knockouts, and the dreaded Ipecac bet ends in a tie, thus making it possible for Ben Goldstein’s mother to rest easy, at least for now. Now that we’ve all had a chance to digest the evening’s events and process the alcohol through our systems, let’s see if we can’t pull it together for a painfully sober look at what really happened last night.

- B.J. Penn dominates; Sean Sherk relies on worst game plan ever. I have to give it to Penn. He looked like a champion from start to finish, picking Sherk apart without getting too frantic and then showing his class after the fight was over. But at the same time, what was Sherk thinking? Standing and trading punches with Penn clearly wasn’t working, as evidenced by Sherk’s face after two rounds. He never seemed committed to getting the fight on the ground, and as a result only allowed Penn to grow more confident of his striking game as the minutes wore on. Maybe he hoped Penn would gas out after punching him in the face for fifteen minutes?

- Tito Ortiz’s exit surprisingly graceful…until the press conference. It seemed strange that the UFC would even give Ortiz any time on the mic after his decision loss to Machida, but even more bizarre that he was mostly cordial about it. Then came the press conference, which Ortiz showed up at uninvited and caused a minor scene. Dave Meltzer describes an odd scene where Ortiz is asked to leave the press conference by UFC officials, but then told to stay put by Jenna Jameson. Guess who he listened to? What followed was a minor flare-up as Ortiz and Dana White accused one another of trying to be “superstars”, an accusation neither is in a position to refute. Oh, Tito. You will be missed.


UFC 84: Live [Results] Like a Suicide?!*@

Forgive the G’n'R reference, but I’m really that excited. Click the “more” link and refresh your browser every few minutes for live updates from the “Ill Will” pay-per-view broadcast, beginning at 7 p.m. PT. Good luck to the fighters, the betters, the pickers, and the soon-to-be pukers.


Heath Herring To Face Lesnar at UFC 87

Heath Herring UFC
(Get used to this look.)

MMAWeekly has confirmed that Heath Herring has agreed to face Brock Lesnar at UFC 87 (August 9th, Minneapolis), filling in for Mark Coleman, who dropped out of the event after tearing a knee ligament during a sparring session last Friday.

Most MMA fans believed that Coleman was being set up for a steamrollin’ — and this video sure didn’t help — but Herring isn’t nearly the underdog that Coleman would have been. One of the most experienced heavyweights currently active, Herring holds notable victories over Mark Kerr, Igor Vonchanchyn, and most recently Cheick Kongo at UFC 82, and has had the honor of being beaten by Fedor Emelianenko, Mirko Filipovic, and Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira (three times!). Though he’s good with submissions and wouldn’t be giving up a size advantage to Lesnar, Herring’s questionable takedown defense could make this a favorable matchup for the ex-WWE star.

As for Coleman, he’s pretty bummed about his injury, although he’ll only be out of action for six weeks and won’t need surgery. Check out this short video interview from MMARated to watch Coleman try to stay positive in the face of Ariel Helwani’s probing questions.


The Last Bit of Hype for This Ipecac Bet, I Promise

Tito Ortiz UFC
(Oh yeah, this also happened today.)

Goldstein here. Ryan Harkness and I were guests on BetUS Radio today to talk shit to each other for a half-hour in honor of our UFC 84 ipecac pick-off. Go here to listen, and say a little prayer for my gastrointestinal tract.


Little Nog To Face Vernon White, Wanderlei Silva Pondering Drop To Middleweight

(Consider yourself warned: the “Tiger” is loose.)

Affliction continues to add to its first fight card with the announcement that recently signed Antonio Rogerio Nogueira will take on MMA veteran Vernon “Tiger” White. White’s management confirmed the bout today, and the match-up is expected to take place on the pay-per-view portion of the card.

While White is one of the most experienced fighters in the business, he’s not exactly as A-list as the other names on the Affliction card. His last victory came via disqualification against Jeremiah Constant, and his record now stands at an unimpressive 26-32-2.

Just the same, perhaps Affliction is hoping that White has enough name recognition to help the card as a local draw in California, or maybe they’re just setting Nogueira up with a beatable opponent to hype a later fight between Little Nog and the winner of “Babalu” Sobral and Mike Whitehead.

In other news…