Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

May, 2008

It’s Like He Wants to Barf…

vomit puke barf

Fightlinker Ryan’s UFC 84 picks are up, and all of a sudden I’m feeling a whole lot less nervous about this whole ipecac-drinking thing. Not only did Ryan pick Tito and Wandy to win their bouts, but he also gave the nod to Reljic over Gouveia, and Koppenhaver over Yoshida. Feel free to head over to FL to point and laugh, or get re-acquainted with my own UFC 84 predictions here.

One final note: I haven’t puked in like twelve years. Maybe more, I don’t really remember. But it’s been a long time, and I don’t look forward to doing it again.


Mark Coleman Is Terrified of Brock Lesnar

Or at least he was, back in February. This newly unearthed clip from catches Coleman saying he’d drop to 205 to avoid fighting the Big Les. Damn…the promise of a big payday will make a person do crazy things. Good luck, buddy!


Verbatim: The BJ/Kimbo/Dana Love Triangle

Kimbo Slice ESPN magazine
(The cover of ESPN: The Magazine’s new issue.)

“I’m a streetfighter and I love streetfighters. It’s great to have other leagues. UFC can’t have everyone. There’s thousands of fighters out there and they need a chance to make a living. Me, I’m a Kimbo Slice fan. I like fighting. I see where Dana is coming from and I respect his opinion, but I like streetfighting.” — B.J. Penn

“The amount of talent and fights we put on are second to none. Think about it, the CBS fight that they are coming up with, who gives a crap about Kimbo Slice? This guy can’t fight MMA. You know what would happen if he fought in the UFC? I’d put him in against BJ Penn and (Slice) would get annihilated. The guy he is fighting, James Thompson, might get knocked out before he gets into the cage. Kimbo has no credibility at all in MMA. … I am telling you, BJ Penn would beat him.” — Dana White

“I still consider myself a baby at this game…Those guys probably know how to run circles around me, but I can bang with the best. And I’m not a one-dimensional fighter anymore. I used to have just a hammer. But now I’ve got a hammer, a tape measure, a screwdriver, a glue gun. Now I’ve got some tools in the belt.” — Kimbo Slice

(Props: BloodyElbow)


Cage Potato Gets Afflictionized At Trump Tower

(Barnett elaborates on his plan to “hug Pedro to death.”)

There may not have been much in the way of new information at this morning’s Afflcition press conference, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a good time. Especially not when Josh Barnett and Donald Trump are both there. Not only did Trump have plenty of bottles of “Trump Ice” — his official bottled water — laying around, he also joked with some of the fighters during the event before quietly disappearing along with his son.

“The Babyfaced Assassin” stole the show, however, entertaining reporters and fans by reenacting his knockout loss to Pedro Rizzo in 2001. Standing on a stage with some of the biggest names in the heavyweight division, Barnett didn’t miss the opportunity to remark on the magnitude of the fight card.

“You can have the biggest buzz, the biggest stage, the biggest fireworks, but it’s up to us to provide the bang,” said Barnett, who got a rousing ovation from the fans gathered in Trump Tower to witness the event.

When announcer Jay Glazer attempting to retake the microphone by beginning an analogy comparing MMA and sports like basketball and football, Barnett couldn’t help but burst back in.

“I’m not even going to make the ‘playing with balls’ joke,” he said. “I’ll just say that you play football, you play basketball…You don’t play fighting. There’s no playing going on. When you get to this level, you really get to know yourself…and your opponents get to find out who you are.”



‘Ben vs. Ben’: The UFC 84 Argument, Pt.1


Fowlkes and I spend a lot of time pondering and writing about MMA. Often, we disagree. With that in mind, we’d like to present the first installment of a new feature where we argue about the topics of the day — in this case, all the major themes coming out of Saturday’s UFC 84. This one’s actually a two-parter; come back tomorrow for spirited debate on Wanderlei Silva’s future, the necessity of ring girls, and the intensity of BJ Penn and Sean Sherk’s personal relationship.


QUESTION: What will be the best fight of UFC 84?

Goldstein: The best fight of a given event generally starts with a large dose of drama and ends with a decisive finish. Penn/Sherk has drama out its ass — these guys hate each other — and Ortiz/Machida has it too, as it’s Ortiz’s last fight, and one that Dana White desperately wants him to lose. But I wouldn’t bank on Ortiz/Machida to be a particularly exciting match. Both fighters are questionable finishers (five of Machida’s last seven matches have gone to a decision, compared to four of Ortiz’s last seven) and before his punking of Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou, Machida was widely thought to be a boring fighter. The UFC set this match up to make Ortiz look less marketable, and it isn’t likely to be a barn-burner.

As for Penn and Sherk — how can this be anything less than legendary? Penn tends to make any fight exciting, and both guys will be looking to finish. Penn has to exploit his striking advantage and avoid being laid on by Sherk; a dull fight is not in Penn’s best interest, strategically speaking. I think Sherk is too tough to get stopped earlier than the third round, and if the fight goes into the championship rounds, his conditioning advantage will kick in. So Penn has this sweet spot of the third round where he’s most likely to win, and as the minutes and rounds tick by, anticipation will amp up the drama even further. If BJ wins, he’ll be the UFC’s undisputed lightweight ruler, and his reaction could be just as memorable as the fight itself.

Fowlkes: While I agree with your preconditions for what makes a great fight, I don’t necessarily think it will be Penn-Sherk that turns in the best performance of the night. Seems to me that you’re forgetting about Wanderlei Silva/Keith Jardine. That has plenty of drama — Silva needs a win badly and Jardine needs something to force the UFC to stop overlooking him — and it features two guys who like to stand and bang, which always yields great potential for a decisive finish.

On top of that, when’s the last time you saw Wanderlei in a boring fight? Tell me. I demand to know. I think Sherk-Penn will be worth the pay-per-view price alone, but Silva-Jardine is going to produce some fireworks either way, my friend.


Tito Ortiz Aware That His Head Is Large

Here’s the latest video of Tito Ortiz talking and talking and talking. Along the way, he calls Dana White a “money hungry, tryin’ to be superstar,” a “wannabe gangster,” and a “jazzercise trainer,” calls Chuck Liddell a “puppet,” and denies that he’s a moron and a retard. You’ll have to judge for yourself.

(Props: Sherdog via MMA Fever)


Gerald Harris’s ‘TUF 7′ Blog: Episode 8

Rampage netted The Ultimate Fighter 7
(“The foulest stench is in the air / the funk of 40,000 years / And grisly ghouls from every tomb / are closing in to seal your doom.”)

Every Thursday morning, Team Rampage member Gerald Harris blogs his reactions to each new episode of The Ultimate Fighter 7 on Here’s what he had to say about last night’s ep, in which CB Dollaway got his first inevitable win and the quarterfinal matchups were announced.


Let me start by apologizing for not speaking on the Yarbrough-Schultz fight in last week’s blog. I was really going through some things — it’s hard to walk around knowing the outcome of the show and holding it from your friends and family. You’re drowned with questions and angry people wanting to know what happened, and also claiming to know the outcome. Last week was a shock to a lot of people close to me but not to many outside of that circle. I learned a lot from the experience and took the loss as motivation. I was also mistaken on my words threatening to hurt Amir after the bout. I was being very sarcastic and I’m very humble about the incident.

Now, it was no surprise that CB was fighting Nick Klein this week. The only surprise was “who the hell is Nick Klein?” Well, let me fill you in. Klein is a tough dude — we were actually respecting him a lot, because he was very quiet in the house. Quiet people are unpredictable and are usually hiding something…like talent. Klein had a lot of it and even earned the name “Killa Klein” for his random funny outbursts. I hate to use the word “underdog” on this show because we’re all at the bottom of the mountain trying to become UFC fighters. In this case even Klein felt like an underdog because of CB’s high profile and #1 pick status from Rampage.

Most of you already know about CB. I didn’t know much about him other than his great wrestling before the show, but I would soon find out about his grappling and Muay Thai skills. I thought that he was just another wrestler, but after training with him I noticed that he was well rounded. He hits hard as hell, has great subs, and he’s meaner than a muthaf*$#a when it’s time to fight. He has this alter ego called the “DOBERMAN” and I saw that as he entered the cage.


Sexiest MMA WAGs Prompts Some Soul Searching

(Joana Prado, Vitor Belfort’s lady.)

While perusing the internet for interesting MMA stories today, Ariel Helwani at MMA Rated alerted me to an article in The Sun (UK) about the sexiest “WAGs” in MMA. If, like me, you’re unsure what a WAG is, it stands for wives and girlfriends. Apparently, a popular thing to do in Britain is to ogle the love interests of soccer stars (or “footballers”) and argue about who’s got the hotter girlfriend. I guess you have to pass the time somehow when you don’t have the death penalty.

After checking out the list, which has its share of errors (as Ariel points out), I was struck by how similar all the women seemed. Not necessarily similar in the sense of interchangeable. God knows Forrest Griffin’s girlfriend is more attractive than, say, Tim Sylvia’s or Joe Rogan’s, which only makes me think that the universe is indeed a just place.

But at the same time they all had a certain, how should I put this, quality about them. It’s the kind of quality that makes you look at them and feel pretty sure that if they haven’t done some type of porn (Jenna Jameson, Joana Prado, etc.), they at least consider the girls in Playboy as role models of some sort.

There’s nothing wrong with that. Everyone has their own tastes. I guess what I’m saying is it seems kind of remarkable how fighters all go for the same kind of girl. Is it something in their genetic makeup and they can’t help it?

What about the girls they dated before they were famous and semi-wealthy? Were they the same type of girl, just a little further down on the spectrum, like maybe they had a weird mole on their face or cheaper hair extensions? Do the women get better looking as your record and fight purse improves? Do they get smarter? More fun to be around?


Elite XC Shows Off For The Press

(If I had a face like that, I’d want to protect it while I kicked. Just saying.)

With UFC 84 this Saturday, Elite XC may be having some minor difficulty getting people worked up for their show the following weekend, but they still do a pretty good job of wooing the press. Fortunately, Combat Lifestyle was on the scene of a press conference on the CBS lot to show off some Elite XC stars, such as Gina Carano, Kimbo Slice, and the other fighters they have who are not Gina Carano or Kimbo Slice.

If you’re wondering whether Gary Shaw wore some type of tracksuit-like outfit for this thing, well, you already know the answer. If you need to see it for yourself, here are some thumbnails of the more interesting/stranger moments. Go here for more.



Epic Fail: Dokonjonosuke Mishima

Mishima MMA epic fail

On Monday, Masakazu Imanari lost his DEEP featherweight title to Dokonjonosuke Mishima, who had dropped his last two fights to Kenny Florian and Joe Stevenson in the UFC. I guess this negates all the nice things we’ve said about Imanari. But as you can see, Mishima’s celebratory backflip didn’t go so well. The dude should take lessons from Krazy Horse. And now that I have your attention, here’s the slickest highlight video I’ve seen all week, courtesy of MMAScraps.
(Update: Wow, if that’s playing like garbage for you too, just go here.)