stanley kubrick movie tattoos
20 Absolutely Insane Tattoos Inspired by Stanley Kubrick Movies

August, 2008

‘Title Shot’ Caption Contest: The Winners!

BJ Penn MMA UFC
Title Shot Kelly Crigger MMA

Since it’s Labor Day and I’ve already spent too much time going through your submissions for our latest caption contest — fine work, by the way — we’re just going to do this old-school style, where I pick two winners and then you bitch about them mightily in the comments section. But first, the honorable mentions:

mayhem420: Wait…didn’t Kendall Grove say that guns were for white people?

ruckus: Sean Sherk, you’re dead.

adam: Following months of hardcore training in Brazil, BJ Penn thinks he has found a weakness in Machida’s defense.

The Truth: Quick, what’s Hawaiian for “one-legged French Canadian”?

Aptninja: Um, okay, so…where is the carb?

jakey: The Penn is mightier than the sword

Cankly Carano: “Upon seeing this photo, Jim Lampley exclaimed, ‘See, I told you these barbarian ultimate fighters take knives and guns into their cages. Pathetic. No skill compared to the sweet science! …now where’s that bitch wife of mine? She needs a good smack across the face.’”

Horror Fighter: BJ Penn prepares a response for all CagePotato readers who consistently complain about “caption contest” winners.

And now the winners…

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The Cops Just Had to Mess with Rampage Jackson

In this video interview with CBS, Rampage Jackson discusses some of the wacky goings-on in his mind around the time of his arrest, and does his best to explain it. You see, he didn’t think he was God. He thought he was a God. That is, until the police took the opportunity to be total jerks to him, thus reminding him that he was indeed mortal. Because a God wouldn’t have taken no lip off no cops.

It’s somewhat reassuring to see that there was a type of logical process at work in Rampage’s mind — God is his father, he is God’s son, so he must also, through hereditary processes, be a God himself. That actually makes some degree of sense in a Grecian myth kind of way. Think Zeus and Hercules and all that. And if Hercules were alive today, wouldn’t he be an MMA fighter? I’d like to think so.

The fact that it took the cops being assholes to him for Rampage to realize how crazy this all was is probably the strangest aspect of the story. He seems to have been genuinely affected by that. It’s got to be the first time in history that the cops did something good by mocking people in a vulnerable state who were in their custody. Also probably the last time.

Here’s the rambling, bizarre CBS interview, where Rampage details more potential mistreatment at the hands of the police and talks about what led to his eventual breakdown. He claims the police were calling their friends on their cell phones to brag that they had him in the car, while also “chastising” him for trying to preach to them. He also admits that he doesn’t completely remember what he was saying, and sounds at times like he might not be all the way back from his bout with delirium.

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Tito Ortiz’s Deal With Affliction Downgraded to ‘Possibility’

Tito Ortiz MMA UFC

Tito Ortiz went on HDNet’s Inside MMA on Friday night to make vague statements in the hope that MMA fans will start caring about him again. Speaking about his current negotiations to find a home, Ortiz said:

“EliteXC — possibility. Affliction — possibility. UFC — a small chance of that happening…The things between me and Dana White, I’m shoving it off and moving on with my life.”

Wow…he’s come a long way since that “ground-breaking record contract” with Affliction. But that’s what happens when you ask for the moon and stars from a company that doesn’t have a pot to piss in, if you’ll forgive the metaphor mixing. And the UFC — where a small cut of the PPV take can mean big money — is still the only organization that can offer Ortiz even close to what he thinks he’s worth.

It seems hard to believe that Dana White, who considers Ortiz to be an intolerable scumbag, would even consider dealing with him again, but perhaps cooler heads are prevailing. With Couture vs. Emelianenko a possibility in the Octagon and Tito considering a return, the UFC is poised to deliver a sharp, painful kick directly to Affliction’s balls. Honestly, the UFC’s only apparent motivation for re-signing Ortiz would be to screw over their latest rival. It’s not like he’ll have much impact in the light-heavyweight division at this point, and his rivalries with Chuck Liddell and Ken Shamrock have long since been consummated. So maybe they’ll keep him around as a celebrity gate-keeper, as long as it’ll prevent Affliction from having a credible pay-per-view draw. As Alonzo Harris put it, the shit’s chess, it ain’t checkers.

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Videos: Gina Carano + Kim Couture Grappling, Countdown to UFC 88 Preview


Crush and Sugar Free getting down at Xtreme Couture. Props to BloodyElbow.


A promo for SpikeTV’s upcoming preview show on “Breakthrough,” which features actual footage of Chuck Liddell’s hamstring injury in April, and Matt Hamill wreckin’ dudes as a kid. Props to FiveOuncesofPain.

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Nick Diaz’s Camp Gets Their Writing Hat On


(Nick’s just going to proofread this sucker before sending it out.)

Did Elite XC hold some kind of writing workshop for their fighters’ and their fighters’ camps recently? Maybe one with a special seminar on “Shit-talking statements and rebuttals”? Because suddenly it seems like everyone under the Elite XC banner is putting pen to paper to bash someone else. Not that we’re complaining.

The Gracie camp — home to Nick Diaz — is the latest to get in on the act. KJ Noons’ statement listing his grievances with Elite XC made mention of Diaz several times, and you didn’t think he was going to be able to do that without waking the beast, did you? We’re a little disappointed that this is coming from Diaz’s camp and not Nick himself, who has been known to do some really great work in the ‘stream of consciousness’ field of shit-talking, but we’ll take what we can get.

On Noons’ claim that Elite XC failed to promote his boxing career, as promised:

1) Earth to KJ; you don’t have a boxing career. No one in the boxing world knows who you are. 2) Another MMA company would have paid you less and not given you a title shot, especially when you were 1-1. 3) If you will not fight Diaz due to a breach of contract by EliteXC then why would you fight Alvarez for the same terms?

On Noons’ insistence that Elite XC isn’t promoting him, instead asking Diaz to sign baseball cards for the DVD of their fight:

1) Nick Diaz, Jake Shields and Frank Shamrock were flown in to shoot an instructional trailer on grappling for the CBS show. The signings were an after thought. You weren’t flown in because you aren’t a grappler. We are sure they will fly you in if they need an instructional on whining. 2) Your contract was for Showtime. Diaz and Shields both signed longer deals for CBS. Nathan Diaz signed a special long term contract for Spike TV etc…This is a business not Burger King, you can’t have it ‘your way’.

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Randy Couture’s Negotiations with UFC Starting to Sound Serious


(Randy attends a costume party dressed as Samuel L. Jackson.)

As exciting as the prospect of Randy Couture returning to the UFC might be, we were a little skeptical when rumors started flying earlier this week. But now it sounds like talks between the UFC and “The Natural” are for real, and it’s looking more and more possible that Couture might return to action in front of his former-hometown crowd in Portland to face Brock Lesnar on November 15.

And if that’s not completely crazy enough for you, the UFC is said to be seriously considering an offer from M-1 to co-promote a Randy Couture-Fedor Emelianenko bout down the road. Suddenly we go from a tangled court battle to a couple of blockbuster fights that also have the added advantage of helping the UFC screw Affliction. All just like that. Is your mind blown yet?

If all goes smoothly (and what are the chances of that?) the “Couture Compromise” — as we’re going to go ahead and call it — could be announced as early as Tuesday. As with any story this huge, we’ll believe it when we hear it out of Dana White’s mouth, which will no doubt be formed into an I-told-you-so smirk for the next three months.

Couture is said to be training full-time right now, getting ready to get his glorious return on, so it seems like all systems could genuinely be go for this. What a crazy, wonderful world.

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Friday Link Dump


(Rashad Evans looks very happy about clocking Steve Cofield one.)

- Rashad Evans can’t even escape Chuck Liddell at the movies. (Yahoo! Sports)

- Talking Shamrock, Kimbo, Noons and more on the radio. (MMA Rated)

- “The Secret” explained, in a manner of speaking. (Fightlinker)

- Ryan Schultz to get another shot at Sengoku 5. (MMA Mania)

- Thiago Alves has a lesson he wants to teach Diego Sanchez. (Tatame)

- Dana White promises UFC will be bigger than NFL and World Cup, then discusses a near-death experience. (Las Vegas Review-Journal)

- “Day of Reckoning” official website. (Affliction)

- UFC in talks with CBS to supplant Elite XC? (Fightline)

- Sammy Hagar rocks great moments in history. (Holy Taco)

- Tough beer choices this Labor Day weekend. (Wall Street Fighter)

- Eight awesome movie prisoners. (Screen Junkies)

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ShoXC: Life on the Po’ Side of Town

Backstage at ShoXC
(Backstage at ShoXC.)

KJ Noons thinks he has it bad in Elite XC, he should talk to some of the fighters on the last ShoXC card. The California State Athletic Commission released the full disclosed payout for the August 15 event, and there isn’t a fighter on there who cracked $10,000. The list of people not to try and borrow money from looks like this:

Jared Hamman ($8,000) def. Po’ai Suganuma ($5,000)
Fabricio Camoes ($6,000) def. Sammy Morgan ($4,000)
Rosi Sexton ($3,260) def. Debi Purcell ($4,000)
Ray Lizama ($6,000) def. Keith Berry ($2,000)
David Douglas ($3,000) def. William Jacobson ($800)
Lucas Gamaza ($3,000) def. Kenny Johnson ($2,000)
Jesse Brock ($3,000) def. Josh Rave ($1,000)
Robert Vargas ($2,000) def. Ralph Lopez ($1,000)
Katrina Alendale ($1,500) def. Melanie La’Croix ($1,000)

Underpaid: Pretty much everybody, though if we’re going to get specific we could point to Rosi Sexton, who made less than the opponent she defeated, or poor (literally) William Jacobson, who was the only fighter on the card pulling in less than four figures. Let’s hope Jacobson has another job and was just dabbling in MMA to make enough money to buy that really nice ping pong table he’s had his eye on.

Overpaid: There are no Rockefellers on this list, not even anyone who can reasonably afford Rocawear. Though I guess if it’s all relative, Ray Lizama’s six grand is pretty decent for a guy who is just over .500 for his career.

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Tim Sylvia Could Face Jerome Le Banner Next

Jerome Le Banner MMA K-1
(Jerome would like to know if you’re going to finish that baguette.)

MMA Weekly is reporting that Affliction is in negotiations with French kickboxer Jerome Le Banner, with the intention of setting up a fight between the former K-1 star and Tim Sylvia for Affliction’s third MMA show (early ’09, location TBA). According to Le Banner’s agent Alan Kermorvan, “We have been talking with Tom Atencio for about two weeks about this possibility…I’m pretty sure we can work out something pretty quickly, it’s just not signed yet.”

Though he never held a title in K-1, Le Banner holds notable kickboxing wins over Peter Aerts, Ernesto Hoost, Gary Goodridge, Don Frye, Mark Hunt, and Hong Man Choi. He is 3-1-1 as a mixed martial artist, with his last MMA fight resulting in a first-round knockout victory over Jimmy Ambriz at K-1 Hero’s 4 in March 2006.

A matchup between Sylvia and JLB would represent the culmination of a rather-entertaining war of words that’s gone on for the last couple years, which began with Le Banner publicly dissing the Maine-iac for being a boring fighter with overrated striking. Sylvia responded by challenging Le Banner to a fight on his home turf, but the match didn’t come together due to Le Banner’s refusal to sign an exclusive, multi-fight deal with the UFC. In an interview with Fighthype last December, Le Banner referred to Sylvia as “big sausage,” and called him “so ugly and annoying.”

In addition to Affliction’s pursuit of Le Banner, Tom Atencio told MMANews.com that he’s interested in signing Sergei Kharitonov, the heavyweight PRIDE standout who was briefly rumored to be fighting Antonio Silva for EliteXC’s heavyweight title.

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Must-See: The Three Most Thrilling MMA Fights Ever


(Fedor Emelianenko vs. Bobby Hoffman, from RINGS: 10th Anniversary, 8/11/01. Props to MMA Scraps.)


(Royce Gracie vs. Harold Howard, from UFC 3, 9/9/94. Props to Druskee27.)


(Nobuhiko Takada vs. Mike Bernardo, from Inoki Bom-Ba-Ye 2001, 12/31/01. Props to the late Irish Whip.)

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