(Why you so mad, Nate? By Stockton standards, you rich!)

Official salaries for last week’s Ultimate Fight Night 15 were released today by the Nebraska State Athletic Commission, and not surprisingly it was Nate Diaz who made off with the most cheddar (that’s what the kids call money these days, right?). Here’s the full breakdown. Each winning fighter’s salary represents a doubling of his base pay:

Nate Diaz: $40,000
Josh Neer: $9,000
Clay Guida: $26,000
Mac Danzig: $15,000
Alan Belcher: $26,000
Ed Herman: $16,000
Eric Schafer: $12,000
Houston Alexander: $13,000
Alessio Sakara: $34,000
Joe Vedepo: $3,000
Wilson Gouveia: $36,000
Ryan Jensen: $4,000
Joe Lauzon: $20,000
Kyle Bradley: $4,000
Jason Brilz: $6,000
Brad Morris: $4,000
Mike Massenzio: $6,000
Drew McFedries: $16,000
Dan Miller: $10,000
Rob Kimmons: $5,000

Some quick thoughts…

(That’s “The Predator” all right. I’d recognize those cheeks anywhere.)

Well, we’re officially disturbed. This picture of Patrick Cote, um, blowing off some steam(?) was sent to us by mini at hithiphop.com and we immediately wished we had never seen it. So we did what any responsible internet types would do: we forced it on you, our readers. Enjoy your nightmares.

We don’t begrudge a guy his right to have a few too many (at least we hope alcohol was involved) and do things he’ll later wish he hadn’t. But when we picture the guy who’ll finally bring Anderson Silva’s tremendous winning streak to an end, this isn’t the first thing that comes to mind.

More pictures are after the jump…if you dare.

(Image courtesy of MMA Fight Girls.)

— Rachelle Leah’s nude Playboy pictorial hits newsstands October 17th…and will probably hit this website shortly after.

— It looks like Cain Velasquez (4-0) has found his next opponent. The heavyweight up-and-comer will reportedly face London Shootfighters product Mustapha Al-Turk (6-3) at “UFC Fights for the Troops” (December 10th; Fort Bragg, Fayetteville, North Carolina). Al-Turk, who recently signed a four-fight contract with the UFC, is the current Cage Rage British Heavyweight Champion; like Velasquez, all of his wins have come via first-round stoppage.

— TUF 7 embarrassment Jesse “Mongo” Taylor has booked his next fight against another UFC vet who famously can’t keep his shit together. He’ll be facing Drew Fickett at Total Combat 32 on October 2nd, at the Syucan Casino near San Diego. Total Combat claims that the card will be televised on MTV3 (?).

— The UFC is planning to hold its first show in the Philippines next summer. Lorenzo Fertitta was blown away by the rabid public response to an appearance by Chuck Liddell at the Mall of Asia in Pasay City on Sunday, saying “Chuck is a rock star over here…We’re probably more mainstream in the Philippines than we are in the US. We’re going to be moving the show around the world, and we’re creating the UFC global footprint.”

— BetUS.com has established the odds for UFC 90′s Anderson Silva/Patrick Cote scrap as -800/+425, with the Spider as the runaway favorite, obviously. Once Cote’s line gets up to about +16,000, we’ll consider throwing a sawbuck on him.

(Props: Tapout.com via MMA Scraps.)

So Tapout has this new short film called “Pit Fight Redux,” which stars Kevin Randleman, Mark Coleman, and Seth Petruzelli. At first it seems to be about a futuristic dystopian prison, where inmates have to fight for their freedom. Unfortunately, at about the five-minute mark the story falls apart and the narrator explains that the prison is really a metaphor for all of us being trapped in cages of our own making. Seriously. Can anybody make heads or tails of this goddamned thing?

(Props: MMA Mania)

Sportscenter scored an interview with John McCain last week and got the Republican Presidential candidate to open up about boxing and MMA (known to old people as “Ultimate Fighting”). It seems like he’s cooled down considerably since his “human cockfighting” days — McCain acknowledges that the sport is less barbaric today, and admits that his primary impression of MMA was based on a single fight, which featured “a guy bashing his head into an opponent’s face that was literally unconscious.” If anyone can identify which Mark Kerr fight he’s referring to, let us know.

(Props: Hiostaja via Fightlinker)

DREAM.6 airs live tonight on HDNet at 3 a.m. ET/12 a.m. PT. To get you psyched for the middleweight grand prix, check out this preview/highlight vid, which features lots of exploding heads and limbs.

(The fight that set off a shit-storm of events.)

Even though they’ve stripped him of the title, the door is not yet closed on KJ Noons’ relationship with Elite XC. The company reportedly gave Noons a Monday deadline to determine whether, and under what circumstances, he’ll continue to work for them. After all this drama it’s hard to imagine that we’ll be seeing Noons back in the Elite XC cage unless he gets a significant pay raise. Even then, you have to wonder what they would do with their ex-lightweight champ.

He refused to fight Nick Diaz even though it’s the only bout for him with any real heat at the moment. His manager, Mark Dion, said previously that the fight Noons really wants is one with Eddie Alvarez. Trouble is, rumors are now circulating that it will be Diaz who faces Alvarez for the vacant Elite XC title. Now that’s got to sting if you’re Noons. Not only does Diaz get more money, he also gets the fight KJ wants and maybe even his belt. What’s next, his bike?

If that happens, Noons can wait out the Diaz-Alvarez bout, hoping that Alvarez wins and he’ll finally get his shot at him. Even then, there’s still the sticky issue of money to sort out. If Diaz pulls out the victory Noons will be almost forced into a rematch with him for the belt that was his to begin with.

After everything that’s happened, however, it seems more likely that Noons is looking for the door at this point. He still has two fights on his contract, though he could decide to focus on boxing for a while in the hopes that Elite XC will crumble and he’ll be free and clear to sign a new MMA deal when they do. That is, assuming there is an organization who will be willing to pay him what he thinks he’s worth even after he’s been out of the game for a while.

Sounds like refusing a much-hyped rematch on network TV maybe wasn’t the best career move after all. Weird.

(Another one of Mirko’s zany practical jokes?)

Yesterday’s Dream.6 press conference got off to a fun start after news that Mighty Mo Siliga has had to pull out of his bout with Sergei Kharitonov with an injury suffered in training. That’s when Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic stepped up to offer his services, despite the fact that he’s also scheduled to take on Alistair Oveerem on the same night. Was this just another attempt to get under Oveerem’s skin in their ongoing war of words, or could it be that Cro Cop is trying to make up for lost time?

At least it sounds like a sincere offer:

“Well I’ve just heard that Mighty Mo is not going to fight since he is injured,” said a serious Filipovic. “We are all professional fighters. I’m ready to jump in, in his place. If Dream agrees, I’m ready to fight two fights tomorrow. It doesn’t mean that I underestimate Alistair, I would like to fight him first –- the fourth fight against him and the eleventh fight against Sergei. Sergei definitely trained hard for this and I’m sure he doesn’t want to go home without a fight.”

Oveerem felt a little slighted by the offer, as you might imagine, telling reporters, “I think after I fight Mirko, he will never fight again.”

Thankfully, Sergei Kharitonov stepped in to talk some sense:

(Kim Couture at the first “Night of Combat” show in June; thankfully, she’ll be behind the scenes this time. Photo courtesy of Mike Responts via MMA Junkie.)

With Affliction’s “Day of Reckoning” card postponed, the Thomas & Mack Center in Las Vegas was left with an open spot on its event schedule — which has been filled by a new MMA card, thanks to none other than Kim “Sugar Free” Couture. According to MMA Weekly, KC Concepts (a shadowy outfit headed up by Randy’s wife) in partnership with boxing promoter Skip Kelp’s Superfights MMA have snatched up the October 11th spot at Thomas & Mack. Two Xtreme Couture fighters who were slated to fight at “Day of Reckoning” — Jay Hieron and Mike Pyle — will now compete at “A Night of Combat II,” as well as a host of other mid-level names. Tickets are available now, and the lineup is looking like this:

1. Mike Whitehead vs. Alan Goes (205)
2. Jay Hieron vs Bryson Kamaka (170)
3. Mike Pyle vs. Brian Gassaway (170)
4. John Alessio vs. Gideon Ray (167)
5. Josh Haynes vs. Steve Byrnes (185)
6. JJ Mix vs. John Halverson (155)
7. Mike Dizak vs. Erick Uresk (155)
8. Patrick “Kui” Gonzalves vs. Ryan Lamareaux (145)
9. Ian Omalza vs Ryan Hass (135)
10. Elana Reed vs Stephanie Palmer (115) swing

Not too bad, considering the most expensive ticket is $53. I wonder if Ozzy will still show up…

Related: “Day of Reckoning” headliner Josh Barnett is also moving on with his life. He will reportedly fight at Sengoku 6 (November 1st; Saitama, Japan) against an opponent to be named later. The event will be co-headlined by the semi-finals and finals of Sengoku’s lightweight grand prix, featuring Satoru Kitaoka, Eiji Mitsuoka, Kazunori Yokota, and Mizuto Hirota.

Shocking news from InTheGuard.tv:

UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva was recently interviewed by Brazilian cable channel SporTV. The TV show [Sensei SporTV], featuring Spider, will air on September 27, but the editors released a shocking excerpt from the interview with Silva, when the champion spoke on his retirement from MMA:

“I’ll retire next year, I already gave my all. I don’t need to prove anything for anyone and within one year I’ll put my gloves aside.”

We’ve often heard stories of the mythical Athlete Who Retires at His Peak, but we’ve never actually seen one. Hopefully, this is just Silva’s way of pressuring Dana White to let him fight every month. But more likely, he feels he’s accomplished as much as he can in his career without fighting friends. Silva has repeatedly shot down the idea of a fight with WEC middleweight champ Paulo Filho, and has also said that he won’t challenge for the UFC’s light-heavyweight title because “this belt is Lyoto’s.” So what does that leave besides retirement? If we’re lucky, it means superfights with Georges St. Pierre and a couple of light-heavyweight stars before he rides off into the sunset.

Going out when you’re on top? What a concept…

(Will Michael Bisping follow in Forrest Griffin’s footsteps? Photo courtesy of daylife.com)

From TheSun.co.uk:

Michael Bisping is hot favourite to be named as one of the coaches on the new series of The Ultimate Fighter…

The UFC have not yet offered Bisping the coach’s role on TUF 9 because he is scheduled to fight Chris Leben at UFC 89 at the Birmingham National Indoor Arena on October 18.

But SunSport understands Dana White will immediately hand the British star a contract to appear on the show if he overcomes Leben next month.

It is believed Dan Henderson will coach the US team, with the TUF 9 finale featuring him in a clash for the #1 middleweight contender’s spot against Bisping, which could take place in December next year.

As the UFC’s only British star, it makes sense that the TUF 3 winner would be chosen as a coach for the “U.S. vs. U.K.” season of The Ultimate Fighter. But it also makes you wonder who will be picked to lead the British team if Bisping loses to Leben. We’re assuming it would still be Bisping — but then would a fight between him and Hendo really be a #1 contender match? When contacted by MMA Weekly, The Count confirmed that he hadn’t been made an offer yet, but he’d certainly be open to one:

(Mitsuhiro Ishida vs. Justin Wilcox; props to MMA Root)

Last night’s Strikeforce card at the Playboy Mansion in Beverly Hills featured two Japanese stars making successful debuts for the organization, lightweight champ Josh Thomson easily winning his squash match, and impressive performances by Terry Martin, Trevor Prangley, and Luke Stewart. In the night’s main event, #9-ranked middleweight Kazuo Misaki went toe-to-toe with Joe Riggs, with both fighters hesitant to engage in the first round. Riggs dropped Misaki with a straight left in the second, but Misaki hopped back up and connected with a straight right that sent Riggs to the mat. Misaki threw down blows from above until referee Josh Rosenthal declared it a TKO; Riggs immediately complained about the stoppage, despite Rosenthal’s repeated (and unanswered) warnings for Riggs to improve his position.

In a relatively pointless non-title fight, Josh Thomson disposed of Lion’s Den product Ashe Bowman in just over a minute. Aside from a stiff overhand right from Bowman that landed flush on Thomson’s chin, the match belonged to The Punk, who swarmed his opponent with punches to end the match. His victory sets up a future match with Shooto/PRIDE/Dream vet Mitsuhiro Ishida, who won his Strikeforce debut last night with a submission over the far-outmatched Justin Wilcox. See the above video for Ishida’s unbelievable transition from kimura to armbar (2:36-2:42), which apparently didn’t feel very pleasant for Wilcox.

Full results and video of the Thomson/Bowman fight after the jump.

(A champion no more.)

Just when KJ Noons was starting to focus on the boxing career he wants so badly, Elite XC has decided to lighten his luggage for him by stripping him of the lightweight title. From a release sent out late last night:

“We are stripping KJ of his championship belt for refusing to defend against Diaz,’’ Lappen said. “It’s a very unfortunate situation but we cannot have belt-holders who refuse to fight the top contenders. We want champions who will fight anyone, anytime, anyplace. That’s the mentality all champions should have.

“I feel very bad for KJ because I like him a lot on a personal level and have always thought he could be a big star. He’s charismatic, has a very exciting fighting style and is a top level fighter. So I’m obviously disappointed that he has chosen to take this stance.

“I don’t understand why he would turn down a chance to be a headliner on CBS on Oct. 4. KJ then turned down the fight again when we offered him a headlining spot on our next SHOWTIME date against Nick. From my view, it is a fight against a top-named opponent in Diaz (someone who beat the No. 1 fighter in the world in his weight class), a fighter KJ has bad blood with and most definitely a fight the fans really wanted to see. It seemed like a great opportunity for KJ to me.

“Personally, I do not think it was a smart career move, but I’m sure he sees it differently. KJ has two more fights remaining on his contract, so we are still looking forward to having him fight for us again soon, but not as our world champion.’’

Aside from the awkward phrase “top-named opponent” — which seems like the worst possible way of saying that a guy isn’t ranked in the top ten but people know him anyway — Elite XC actually makes a firm case here. Even if Noons doesn’t feel that Diaz deserves the shot, and even if he isn’t satisfied with the money he’d get for it (at the rate he agreed to when he signed the contract), the fact is that it’s the fight that both the Elite XC brass and the fans most want to see.

If you want to be the champ, that’s the fight you’ve got to take. If you go out and beat Nick Diaz on network TV, that can only help your popularity and your fight purses down the road, right? For whatever reason, Noons doesn’t see it that way. Enjoy your boxing career, young man.

(Now that’s how you celebrate a victory. Photo courtesy of Combat Lifestyle; to see more photos from this event, click here.)

- Gina Carano discusses marriage proposals and the pitfalls of fame. (MMA Rated)

- Cage Rage heavyweight champ headed to UFC. (Fighters Only)

- TUF 8/Ultimate Fight Night pull strong ratings. (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Rashad Evans’ Microsoft commercial cameo. (MMA Mania)

- Hermes Franca doesn’t respect Marcus Aurelio as a man. (Tatame)

- The Ric Flair of MMA? (Steve Cofield)

- Elite XC to debut 140 lbs. title. (MMA News)

- NFL referee Ed Hochuli responds to an angry reader. (Holy Taco)

- Trash-talking Hobo catches a beatdown. (Nothing Toxic)

- The story of the ‘Uh-Oh Face’ Guy. (Wall Street Fighter)

KJ Noons has a brilliant plan for the future of his fighting career. Are you ready for this? Instead of fighting Nick Diaz for the Elite XC lightweight title in front of millions of people on CBS, he’s going to fight some nobody in a boxing match that is not on network TV. That will show those bastards at Elite XC.

In an interview with MMA Weekly Noons claims that Elite XC breached his boxing contract — which was one of the two contracts he signed with them — by not offering him any fights, thus leaving him free to pursue boxing matches on his own. His MMA contract with them is presumably still valid since they did offer him the Diaz fight, which he continues to disparage on the basis that Diaz would make more money than him for the fight:

“Tell him to put his money where his mouth is. Put his money up if he wants it so bad, if he’s such a warrior,” Noons stated about Diaz. “He was just (expletive) about how much he got paid on this last CBS card. He’s getting paid 3 times more than me, how do you think that makes me feel?”

“If Dana (White) is listening, I wouldn’t mind fighting his brother too. I’ll get them both (expletive) plastic surgeries.”

He just had to bring up Nate, didn’t he? Maybe the plan is to make the Diaz brothers talk so much smack they cancel each other out, like some sort of shit-talking wave interference theory.

Nate Diaz really started this after his Fight Night bout when he suggested that “somebody” should stop being a “weak-ass punk” and fight his brother. Personally, I assumed that Nate was referring to British punk rocker Johnny Rotten, but now that I think about it Noons’ interpretation really makes more sense.

(Photo courtesy of FCFighter.com.)

No, it’s not like he was hoping we’d all forget about it. EliteXC’s heavyweight champion Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva — who pissed dirty, horse-steroid style following his TKO win over Justin Eilers at “Unfinished Business” in July — has enlisted attorney Howard Jacobs to help him formally appeal his suspension. Jacobs is the same lawyer who helped Sean Sherk knock his one-year Nandrolone suspension down to six months. Silva has until tomorrow to file an appeal, then 30 days to request a special hearing for his case. Without the appeal, he would have to appear at the CSAC’s next public hearing, scheduled for November 20th.

As MMA Weekly reports, Silva and his camp maintain that his medical condition of acromegaly, or “gigantism,” precludes him from taking steroids in the first place:

Silva’s American representative, Alex Davis…said that Silva’s tumor has caused him to produce as much as 20 times the normal amount of growth hormone in the body. “It would be completely insensible or even dangerous to make use of any other steroids or substances that could worsen that kind of problem,” he said. Following the CSAC’s suspension, Davis says he had Silva tested for steroids at the Aegis Sciences Corporation — a facility he says is on the CSAC’s approved list of testing facilities — and results were negative.

(For more photos from this event, click here.)

We recently came across this Combat Lifestyle picture of TUF 7 winner Amir Sadollah and Verne Troyer hanging out at Privé, and needless to say, it moved us. I think it’s caption contest time, folks. And what’s on the line? See for yourself after the jump.

(‘I’m just saying, the guy has two eyes. Why wouldn’t I want a rematch?’)

Kevin “Pokey” Burns feels bad about his victory via sticking his fingers in Anthony Johnson’s eyes back in July. Anthony Johnson also feels bad about it, which is why he appealed the decision in a losing effort. But now Burns says he wants a rematch with Johnson in order to “make it right”:

“I guess what’s really going to be the true-tell sign at the end of the day is when we meet in the cage again, and we have a chance to compete against each other. Then the fans will get to see what they wanted to see, and we’ll get to make it right.”

“I hated more the way the fight ended than probably Anthony did,” Burns said. “It didn’t really come up to par. I’m not that kind of competitor. I would have rather been knocked out, personally, than to win like that.”

While you have to appreciate the old Don Frye ‘let’s do it again, brother’ sentiment, I’m not so sure that Burns really hated it more than Johnson did. Johnson, let’s not forget, had to have eye surgery to repair a detached retina as a result of the debacle. He also still has the loss on his record.

Burns says he’s been taking some heat from fans for the win and wants to clear the air about some of the rumors that have been flying about him:

(Make an offer, but ring announcer Tim Hughes comes as part of the set.)

Even though the IFL has filed for bankruptcy and their best fighters have all signed on with other organizations, they are apparently still looking for a buyer who wants their video library badly enough to pay for it. Jay Larkin told Sherdog that when the UFC used some of their footage to hype former IFL fighters who had signed on with Zuffa, it wasn’t because the UFC had paid for the video, it was because the IFL was just “helping out.” It’s the least they could do, after all the help the UFC did for them.

But check Jay Larkin’s sales pitch when it comes to the IFL:

“You don’t always know what you got till it’s gone. There’s a lot of lessons to be learned,” said Larkin, a longtime boxing programming executive with Showtime. “One of the things I tried to do was do it in a more professional manner. The bottom line is, I feel MMA is a one-organization industry. I think UFC has done a spectacular job of branding, and UFC has become synonymous with MMA. And there’s a couple of hangers-on now. Wall Street’s having a hard time right now. I’d like to see MMA flourish but I’m very skeptical.”

In other words, please buy this stuff, but if you’re anyone other than the UFC, you’ll just be wasting your money.

I once went to Sears to buy a power drill and the stoned college kid working there responded to every one of my questions about various drills by telling me all the bad things about them, finally concluding that the one they had on sale “just generally kind of sucks.” I did not buy a drill that day. As sales strategies go, pessimism and ennui rank somewhere near the bottom. Larkin would do well to keep that in mind.

(Kimbo who?)

The UFC isn’t going to let EliteXC put an event on network TV without screwing with them a little bit. Just as they aired UFC 84 for free on Spike while the second CBS “Saturday Night Fights” card was taking place on July 26th — effectively stealing away a lot of EliteXC’s young male viewers — the UFC will be airing “UFC 86: Jackson vs. Griffin” on October 4th, opposite “EliteXC: Heat.” (They’ll also be showing “UFC 87: St-Pierre vs. Fitch” the following Saturday, on the night that Affliction was originally supposed to hold their “Day of Reckoning” card.) The UFC has previously tried to take the wind out of their competition’s sails by airing an “Ultimate Iceman” special on Spike during the first CBS “Saturday Night Fights” card in May, and scheduling an Anderson Silva-headlined Ultimate Fight Night during Affliction’s “Banned” card in July.

With Showtime lurking as a potential buyer for Pro Elite, a little less is riding on “Heat”‘s performance — lackluster ratings wouldn’t necessarily mean extinction if they have someone to bail them out. But the UFC could further devalue the EliteXC brand if they can prove that just as many people would tune in to see a UFC re-run as a new fight card from EliteXC. And if “Heat” is a bomb, maybe Showtime will think twice about the purchase.

In other UFC news…

(Scott: “Come on gang, we gotta raise $55 million to save EliteXC! But…how?”
Gina: “Bikini car wash!”
Robbie: “Pirate treasure hunt!”
Kimbo: “Robbin’ ni**as!”)

Sherdog reports that Showtime Networks filed public notice with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission yesterday, announcing their intention to negotiate for the purchase of Pro Elite Inc. Showtime, a subsidiary of CBS Corporation, already has a 20% ownership stake in the L.A.-based MMA organization.

What makes the sale likely is how broke-ass Pro Elite is at this point. It’s already been widely reported that the company racked up $55 million in debt during its two years of operation, and to make matters worse, Pro Elite is struggling to obtain enough capital to operate in the short term. According to a new SEC filing, the company has been hustling for $3.5 million in financing, and their failure to secure it in the immediate future “[would] have a material adverse effect on the Company’s liquidity and capital resources and ability to continue as a going concern.” And guess what:

The Company no longer believes that a successful closing of the $3.5 million secured debt (with a funded amount of $3.0 million) will occur. Although the Company has received $1 million pursuant to the Note [ed. note: this refers to a loan made to Pro Elite by Showtime]…the $1 million funding defers such consequences only for a brief period of time while the Company continues to evaluate its options on how to respond to its severe liquidity problem.

Known most for its EliteXC and ShoXC brands, Pro Elite has also acquired such mid-level outfits as King of the Cage, Icon Sport, Rumble on the Rock, and Cage Rage over the last two years — meaning that it would be a powerful asset in the hands of the right manager. And who’s the Showtime exec who would be qualified to run it all? Well, that’s the $55 million question. More to come…

Alex Trujillo — Clay Guida’s coach and owner of the Midwest Training Center — does the best Mike Goldberg impersonation I’ve ever heard. He has it all just right. The hyperbolic enthusiasm, the local news weatherman voice inflection, the whole package.

“Coming up next!” Trujillo shouts in his Goldberg voice, and it’s enough to get the whole dressing room cracking up. You can see how it helps to have guy like Trujillo around when you’re trying to stay relaxed before a fight. Soon the talk turns to what it would be like if Goldberg did commentary for porn movies. The consensus opinion? It would be awesome.

This is just part of what I was treated to last night as I shadowed Guida before and after his fight for this Si.com article. It was, to say the least, a unique experience. There are the guys who say that they just love to fight, and then there are the guys for whom it is obviously true. Clay Guida is the latter. Throughout his preparation there was never a hint of anxiety. Little leaguers have more nerves stepping up to bat.

As Guida sat in his dressing room having his hands taped referee Yves Lavigne came by to go over some basics. Just to clarify, Lavigne took out a sheet of paper that he had folded into thirds and held it up against the back of his own head to show Guida where not to strike. Through it all Guida could barely keep from smiling.

Alessio “Legionarius” Sakara goes upside Joe Vedepo’s head with his shin in the first round of their Ultimate Fight Night bout. For a very brief moment it looked as if Vedepo might weather the blow. Then his brain decided to just go into shutdown mode instead. Sakara seems to have worked on his takedown defense, but when he got dropped by a punch early he must have been having Chris Leben flashbacks.

In other video news, Kimbo Slice worked out for the media and vowed to kick ass and let them take the names. He really should consider doing his own record-keeping. If he’s not careful he might accidentally end up kicking the same ass twice, thus harming his overall ass-kicking efficiency.

He also says he’s “prepared to go 6-7 rounds if it takes that,” but says he doubts that it will. Good bet. I would also describe a scenario where the Kimbo Slice-Ken Shamrock bout goes seven five-minute rounds as ‘doubtful.’ For several reasons.

(Alexander vs. Schafer; props to MMA Scraps)

From Yahoo! Sports via MMA Mania:

“The crowd was so loud that I couldn’t hear my corner. If I heard them and knew, you know, there are 10 seconds left, five seconds left, whatever, I would have tried to hung in there a little longer and survived. But it was so loud and these people were supporting me so much, I couldn’t hear and I had to tap.”

Hear that, Cornhuskers? It’s your fault.

Watching the Alexander/Schafer fight again, a few things occur to me…

— The first big knee Alexander caught Schafer with at the 0:20 mark was borderline illegal. The second one was absolutely illegal. Coincidentally, the penultimate strike he landed on Keith Jardine during their fight last May was also an illegal knee. The dude’s been getting away with murder.

— Alexander still has no idea what to do when he’s mounted. It may be time to find a new training camp. (I hear the guys at Wolfslair Academy are very friendly…)

— Houston’s lack of aptitude on the ground shouldn’t take away from Schafer’s accomplishment; that arm-choke was fucking superb. Watch the way he sets it up from 4:33 until the tap. Still, Red won’t have too much of an impact in such a stacked division — a drop to middleweight might be in order.

(You don’t mess with a black man named “Lance.”)

As if their ongoing financial troubles aren’t enough of a sign that EliteXC is circling the drain, how’s this: According to FiveOuncesofPain, the House That Gary Built has just signed weight-loss failure Jason Guida (17-17) to a fight contract. (Way to pursue that world-class talent, guys. Dana White just LHFAO.) Guida will reportedly make his EliteXC debut at an October 10th ShoXC event in Hammond, Indiana, against Mamed “Cannibal” Khalidov a Chechen fighter who has primarily competed in Poland, and who has gone 11-0-1 in his last 12 fights.

5oz. also reports that Rashad Evans’s older bro Lance Evans (2-2) — who was bounced out of last night’s Ultimate Fighter elimination round after suffering a rib injury during his fight against Vinny Magalhaes — will be returning to Canada’s TKO Championship Fighting outfit, and will take on former hockey enforcer Steve Bosse at TKO 35, which goes down October 3rd at Montreal’s Bell Centre.

One more light-heavyweight TUF Guy has apparently been signed to another organization, but he’s technically still on the show, so don’t click “More” if you want to keep the Team Nogueira vs. Team Mir experience pure as the driven snow.

(No, they aren’t posing. That’s just how they kick it.)

I’m not sure if I love the Diaz brothers in spite of their behavior, or because of it. I’m leaning toward the latter, if only because the more I see of them, the more I become convinced that they may be the most genuine people in all of MMA. All the yelling and swearing and flippin’ the bird? The posturing that reminds you of a fourteen-year-old kid who’s just grown his first facial hairs and is feeling like a man with the constant need to prove it? That’s them. That’s just how they are. Ultimate Fight Night was just one more example.

Not only is Nate Diaz a near mirror-image of his brother in the cage, he also mimicks his interview style. At least, that’s what people tell me. I couldn’t make out most of what he said after his win over Josh Neer last night. I caught the word ‘motherfucker.’ I believe the phrase ‘weak-ass punk’ was peppered in there, as well as the obligatory mention of the 209. Other than that, it was tough to decipher. I had hoped we’d get more in the post-fight press conference, but the Diaz brothers had other ideas.

Nate Diaz had barely taken his seat for the impromptu session with the press when Nick drew the attention to himself by shouting profanities at, well, someone. It was hard to tell who he was yelling at or why. The UFC PR staff seemed at their wits end, and they appealed to Nate to help them restore order.

Nate responded by saying, “I’m out,” and leaving the press conference altogether. Nick was still yelling as the two of them walked off down the hallway.

Say what you will about them, but they always come to fight and they know how to make an exit.

(The head kick. Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly)

You didn’t see it on Spike TV last night, but the undercard bouts for Ultimate Fight Night 15 were worth showing up for all by themselves. Yours truly was Octagon-side for the whole thing, and when I wasn’t hanging out in Clay Guida’s dressing room (more on that later), I was busy being impressed by some UFC newcomers.

Dan Miller def. Rob Kimmons via submission (rear naked choke) at 1:27 of round one

This one was quick, with only sporadic fits of action. Miller jumped to Kimmons’ back almost immediately. Kimmons tried to defend and dump him off, but Miller wasn’t having it. After about a minute of absolutely no movement, Miller locked in the choke and Kimmons fell backwards ala Frank Trigg against Matt Hughes, then tapped meekly while the ref took his time about stopping it.

Mike Massenzio def. Drew McFedries via submission (kimura) 1:26 of round one

New Jersey’s Mike Massenzio was particularly impressive in his first-round submission win over Drew McFedries. He put his wrestling skills to good use right away, shooting in on McFedries and getting side control in the ensuing scramble. After McFedries recovered his guard and attempted a triangle choke, which Massenzio shrugged off, it was countdown to kimura time. Massenzio got to north-south and extended McFedries’ arm, forcing him to tap.

Alessio Sakara def. Joe Vedepo via KO (kick) at 1:27 of round one

The most brutal finish of the night also came in the prelims, as Alessio Sakara put his shin directly on Joe Vedepo’s chin early in the first. Vedepo was looking for the takedown from the start, but Sakara’s defense looked much improved. When Vedepo couldn’t get him down he consented to stand and trade. That’s about when the high kick landed with a vicious crack that elicited ‘ooohs’ from the crowd. Vedepo stiffened up and keeled over backwards. Sakara moved in to finish, but it was — to put it mildly — unnecessary.

The season premiere of The Ultimate Fighter: Team Nogueira vs. Team Mir began not with a bang, but with a whimper: As the 32 UFC hopefuls lined up to get pep-talked by Dana White, Phillipe Nover got a case of the vapors and passed out. (Is this show hardcore or what?!) To add further embarrassment to his situation, nobody seems to know how to pronounce Nover’s first name. He says “Filip,” but everyone else decides to go with the more ethnic-sounding “fi-LEEP” or “fi-LEEP-ay.” The guys are told they’ll be given 24 hours to cut weight, and will fight the following day. Our Guamanian buddy Joe Duarte comes in ten pounds over, but it ain’t no thing to him. Jason Guida, on the other hand, comes in like 47 pounds over.

During his agonizing cutting process, Guida pukes into a toilet like a sorority girl after a big date, then cramps up completely and his team has to look at his balls flopping out of his towel (see above). A doctor checks him out and says he can weigh in one more time before he’s given IV fluids and taken to a hospital. His final score: 207. One pound away. He fucked up, and he’s furious. He tells NSAC executive director Keith Kizer that he’ll “never be forgiven.” We are treated to this classic exchange…

Guida: “Just let me do this, doc.”
Kizer: “I’m not a doc, but no.”

And Mike Stewart, who was hanging out in the parking lot for just such an opportunity, gets in as an alternate. Then it’s time for the fights…

Krzystof Soszynski vs. Mike Stewart (205): Stewart gets jacked right away with a huge left hook, and then swarmed with strikes until the ref stops it. Back to the parking lot, buddy. By the way, there’s no fucking way I’m spelling out “Krzystof Soszynski” ever again. He will be referred to as K-Sos from now on.

Fernando Bernstein vs Dave Kaplan (155): Bernstein, a man after my own Hispanojew heart, faces another nice Jewish boy in Kaplan. Bernstein seems to strictly be a kickboxer, though, and after some ferocious striking exchanges, Kaplan gets the fight to the ground and sinks in a rear-naked choke. Dana suggests that Bernstein change his nickname from “Machete” to “Butter Knife.”

(Nate Diaz vs. Josh Neer; props to MMAScraps.)

The UFC’s customary end of the night bonuses were worth 30k for Ultimate Fight Night 15. It’s too bad there was no time to replay any of the undercard fights, because it seems there were a lot of stoppages to choose from. Here’s who got the extra bumps:

Fight of the Night: Nate Diaz and Josh Neer for their always-competitive and action-packed main event battle.

Knockout of the Night: Alessio Sakara for Cro Copping poor Joe Vedepo.

Submission of the Night: Wilson Gouveia for his armbar of Ryan Jensen.

We’ll add gifs/videos of the last two as soon as we find ‘em…

(For those about to get knocked the eff out, we salute you. Photo courtesy of MMAWeekly.)

FUCKIN’ HUSKERS!!! Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get down to business. “Ultimate Fight Night: Diaz vs. Neer” is going down in Omaha as we speak. But since it’s airing on tape-delay in most of the country, there might be some spoilers after the jump; feel free to come back when it’s 8 p.m. in your time zone. And please leave plenty o’comments now that leaving comments on this site isn’t such a pain in the ass. Click the “More” link when you’re mentally prepared, and refresh the page every few minutes to get all the latest from the Omaha Civic Center.

(P.S.: Stockton, son. Stockton California.)

(Photo courtesy of MMAWeekly.)

Here there be spoylers. Proceed with caution.

(Props: CombatWire via Sean McCorkle)

As we learned on Monday, tonight’s season premiere of The Ultimate Fighter: Team Nogueira vs. Team Mir features Jason Guida nearly killing himself trying to make weight. We may never get to see him fight in the Octagon — but we do know that he’s one of the most ferocious cornermen in the world. Here he is pitching a shit-fit between rounds during a fight at a Primetime Fighting Championships event in May. Apparently the ref called for a standup at the end of the first round, which led to Guida’s boy John Murphy getting cut with a knee by Jeremy Ashley; Murphy eventually won by decision. Guida should consider himself lucky that the ref didn’t do this to him. Now if only he could put that same intensity into not eating cheese-steaks, he could be a contender.