Junie finally got to fight this week. He had been talking all this crap about Rolando Delgado not making it out of the first round. At first I thought this was by the far the dumbest thing I had heard all season, but Junie is good at making people get that impression. At the house people started questioning Roli’s black belt. I didn’t need to question the man — he wouldn’t be here if he wasn’t legit. During the fight announcement Junie brought a black belt with him, and decided it would be cool for the cameras to throw it at Rolando’s face and then spit on it. I couldn’t believe this. It was very disrespectful not only to Rolando but to everyone who has worked for that belt. I don’t have a belt but I know people out there who live behind theirs, and to spit on it is ridiculous. Even Anderson Silva was there and when I was talking to him he was telling me that he disliked Junie. I don’t know about you, but if I found out that Anderson didn’t like me I wouldn’t want to make him mad.

Now back at the house, Junie wouldn’t shut his mouth talking about how good he was and that Rolando wouldn’t have a chance. I think he was trying to get into Roli’s head and at some point I was thinking that he was, but Rolando took it very well and just went with it. Junie is the type of guy that wants to be talked about no matter what you’re saying about him; he just wants to be remembered. So weigh-ins arrive and Junie was having a hard time making weight. I started tell Rolando to look at Junie and told him he’s going to be weak tomorrow because he’s really hurting to make weight. Finally he made weight, and I was happy for him because I wanted to see if he could really back all that shit up.

(‘Hey, just because the company has gone under that doesn’t mean we can’t still hang out, right big guy?’ Photo courtesy of Esther Lin.)

If you’re wondering why we haven’t heard from Jared Shaw (aka: “little rapper kid”) since the collapse of Pro Elite, there’s a good reason. $kala has not been heard from because $kala does not want to be heard from. He has retreated from the media spotlight, as our friends at MMA Rated learned when they attempted to get him on the phone and instead got this outgoing voicemail message:

“This is the voicemail of Jared ‘Skala’ Shaw. Leave me a message and I will return it at my earliest opportunity. If this is a member of the media, I will not be returning your call. I’m sorry. Namaste.”

Seriously, Jared? Namaste? Does that mean you won’t return calls because you have a yoga class to get to?

Not that I blame $kala for not wanting to talk to the media right now, but it is something of a chickenshit move. Maybe it’s because he knows he doesn’t have any good answers to give. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t want to hear the inevitable questions about what role his cageside freakout might have played in the whole ordeal, and whether Pro Elite was truly forced to keep him on in order to get his father out. Who knows.

What we do know is that not returning calls isn’t going to keep people from talking about you, so wouldn’t you at least like a chance to give your perspective? Who would have thought that this is how Jared Shaw would go out. Freaking Namaste.

Dana White’s Video Blog 10/21/08 – Watch more free videos

Some people say it’s as important to be a gracious winner as it is to be a gracious loser. Those people are fucking pussies. Dana White knows what’s best in life: crushing your enemies, seeing them bankrupted before you, and hearing the lamentations of Jared Shaw. That’s why he has zero problem with not only tap-dancing, but also urinating on the grave of EliteXC in this video.

Seriously, no one can hate like Dana White hates. His enthusiasm for the misfortune of others is truly unrivaled. He doesn’t even mention UFC 90 until almost four minutes into this video, that’s how much fun he’s having kicking Pro Elite while it’s down and rehashing other old grievances that are mostly meaningless to everyone else. What a joyous day.

Unrelated but important: Old, Bald and Irish’s Epic Fail Contest ended with OB&I getting eye-poked and choked out and Polish winning a “Hall of Fame” t-shirt. Polish, e-mail your address and size to feedback@cagepotato.com. The rest of you can read more about this craziness in the CagePotato forums.

(Keep your freakishly large chin up, buddy.)

Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva — who tested positive for the anabolic steroid Boldenone after whipping Justin Eilers back in July to win EliteXC’s vacant heavyweight title — appealed his drug suspension before the California State Athletic Commission earlier today. Unfortunately, it was an utter failure, as the CSAC refused to budge, upholding his 12-month suspension and $2,500 fine. This, of course, comes a day after we learn that EliteXC is dead, which means that Silva’s championship belt isn’t worth the leather its printed on. And it’s only Wednesday!

As we kind of predicted, all the lawyers and credible alibis in the world won’t save you after California decides you’re a steroid user. [Ed. note: Read the first comment in the last link. Mayhem420? More like Nostradamus420!] So anyway, Silva can’t fight again until July 26th, 2009. Things could definitely be worse — he should be able to live comfortably off the $200,000 he made in his last fight, and he could always earn some extra cash here and there as a training partner. But the question is, what happens when his suspension is over? EliteXC is six feet under. Affliction would be a good fit for Silva with their beefy heavyweight division, but there’s no guarantee they’ll be around next July. Would the UFC pick up a fighter coming off of a steroid suspension — and who was formerly associated with EliteXC — or would they shut him out just to prove a point? If I were Bigfoot, I’d start sending muffin baskets to Scott Coker at Strikeforce…

In the year I’ve been writing this site, I’ve watched millions, perhaps billions of MMA videos — everything from fights to highlight reels to documentaries to Chuck Liddell wasted on a morning show. Most of them I’ve forgotten as soon as they were over. Some of them may stay with me forever. The ten videos below represent the best overview of this crazy sport that I can possibly present. And I won’t degrade their brilliance by ranking them. Think of this as my personal mixtape to you…
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Aleksander Emelianenko vs. James Thompson, PRIDE 28, 10/31/04

Thompson’s unbridled rage and Aleks’s sleepy stoicism combine for my favorite face-off ever — and the 11-second knockout ain’t bad either. Seriously, this never gets old.

“Sakuraba: Beautiful Day”

Maybe the most inspiring single-fighter highlight video of all time. Though Kazushi Sakuraba’s gory losses to guys like Wanderlei Silva, Ricardo Arona, and Antonio Schembri are just as memorable as his wins, Saku at his best was MMA at its best — inventive, thrilling, and joyous.

Absolute Fighting Championship 1 Highlights

Moscow, 1995. A 32-man one-day bareknuckle tournament. A 6’8″ Brazilian beast named Ricardo Morais. Four submissions via strikes (all in under two minutes) and one rear-naked choke after a ten-minute battle with Mikhail Illoukhine. Even if the rest of Morais’s career didn’t quite live up to the promise of his fearsome debut, he was legendary that night.

(‘Are you not entertained? Is this not why you are here?’ Photo courtesy of UFC.com.)

Some have criticized this season of Spike TV’s The Ultimate Fighter by calling it “The Junie Browning Show.” That doesn’t seem to bother Browning, who says he’s happy as long as people are entertained. And let’s face it, we are.

On tonight’s episode Browning takes on Rolando Delgado, which he promises is “the best fight this season.” He also discusses some of his drunken antics, the response from his co-stars, and living up to the expectations of his hometown of Lexington, Kentucky. It all makes for an interesting conversation and a fitting interview for our one-year anniversary, since Browning says he reads Cage Potato “all the time.” Who the hell can blame him?

CagePotato.com: Now that you’ve seen a few episodes of the show, what do you think of how they’ve portrayed you?

I think it’s pretty much correct. They didn’t really edit me to look like an asshole. I did that myself. I think I would have liked if they played some of the clips of me goofing around with the guys, but it’s 100% asshole on the show.

What do you think was the correct percentage of asshole? 50%? 80%?

I’d say about 90% asshole. A lot of the stuff I was doing started off as playing around and went from there. Like me throwing peanuts at the guys and stuff, that started as just playing around, but people might not realize that and think I was just always being an asshole.

Is that how you are all the time, or was that just in that house and on that show?

I think it was the house and the combination of tequila and vodka. I’m not like that all the time. Back at home I’m not like that. I’ve never had to be carried out of a bar or anything like that. I think it’s just that place that turns you crazy.

Well what about when we see you getting drunk and out of control, then Dana White comes and gives you a talk and you’re almost kicked out, then a couple days later you’re sober and getting into it again with Efrain Escudero?

Fedor will return – Watch more free videos

Just a few weeks ago during the EliteXC on CBS broadcast Affliction promised us that Fedor would return. When and against who, that was left to the wondrous power of our imaginations. Now some of the specifics have been filled in with this new promotional video, which advertises a date (Jan. 24) and a firm opponent (Andrei Arlovski).

They appear to still be calling this event “Day of Reckoning,” just as they called it when it was supposed to in Las Vegas earlier this month. Given all the trouble they’ve been having, the title could turn out to be sadly appropriate. The official event website lists only Fedor and Arlovski on the fight card, but includes pictures of Vladimir Matyushenko, Josh Barnett, Renato Sobral, Matt Lindland, Vitor Belfort, Antonio Rogerio Nogueira, Chris Horodecki, and Jay Hieron. Not sure if that’s meant as implication that they’ll all be added to the card, or whether they just had some space to fill at the bottom of the page.

Now that they have an official date and a main event, we can probably expect them to announce something completely different next week.

Brock Lesnar’s segment on E:60 aired yesterday, and we learned a few things about the WWE-superstar turned UFC heavyweight contender. Namely:

— His childhood on a struggling dairy farm in Bumblefuck, South Dakota, inspired him to achieve something greater with his life.

— He’s always liked beating the crap out of people. “Handling another human being and making him feel less than you is, I don’t know, something that I got a thrill out of,” Lesnar says.

— He never watched “a lick” of pro wrestling before he joined the WWE.

— Being a WWE champion takes its toll, both physically and emotionally. He wrestled for six months with a blown-out knee and three broken ribs, and lost two years of memories to vodka and pain pills, which he was basically addicted to.

— Bret “The Hitman” Hart looks scary-old.

— Steroids are a touchy subject for Lesnar, even though he’s never taken them. When the interviewer starts asking him about his unnaturally large physique, Brock sees where the line of questioning is headed and storms off. “I have never failed a fucking drug test,” he says later.

— Lesnar doesn’t put much faith in Randy Couture’s claim that he’s stronger now than he was 10 years ago. “My ass, he is. I’m 31 and I’m not as strong as I was 10 years ago. That’s a straight-up lie.”

After the jump: E:60‘s full reporter/producer discussion on the Brock Lesnar story.

(Jenna, you shouldn’t have. You really, really shouldn’t have.)

Holy crap! CagePotato.com turns one year old today, y’all! Many thanks to those of you who have stuck with us since the beginning — or the close-to-beginning, at least — and helped build this little site into what I believe is the most entertaining and energetic MMA community on the Internet. Lots of bigger and badder things to come, so stay tuned and tell your friends. To honor this day, let’s take a trip in the way-back machine, and revisit 25 of CagePotato’s all-time greatest moments. Enjoy…
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Sylvia’s ego, Franklin’s face get battered at UFC 77 (First-ever post on CagePotato)

The Top 10 Worst MMA Nicknames Ever

Urijah Faber: Hard Out Here for a Pimp (CP’s first original interview)

Gone, Baby, Gone: Hard Luck and Fast Money at the IFl World Grand Prix

The Top 10 Gracies of All Time

Kimbo Slice Loves CagePotato!

Blogger Power! UFC Fight Night 13 Stretched to Three Hours (possibly my favorite photo caption, though this one‘s pretty dear to me as well)

“Tappin’ Out’s for *Whores*”: Matt Serra at the 7/11

The Eight Most Insane Victory Celebrations of All Time

The 10 Most Despicable People in MMA

The 10 Hottest Ring Girls in MMA

Nogueira, Mir to Coach Next Season of TUF (Fowlkes scoops the Internet by a full month)

Dear Guy Attending This Live MMA Event: An Open Letter

Here’s a little taste of Brock Lesnar’s appearance on ESPN’s E:60 tonight at 7 pm EST (which is like, now). The interview seems to be taking place in a barn for some reason. I’m sure it will all make sense when we see the whole thing. In other news…

- Luke Cummo was arrested and charged with “driving while impaired with drugs” in Lynbrook, New York last week. He wasn’t drunk, but was reportedly tested for a drug that officials would not name. Fightlinker says Cummo claimed, at least briefly, that he got a contact high from being in a room full of people smoking pot, and this was exacerbated by eating a bunch of chicken wings. Seriously. He’s pleaded not guilty, and we really hope he decides to represent himself in this case because that would be awesome.

- Matt Hughes says on his website that he talked to UFC matchmaker Joe Silva this week and he may finally get his shot at Matt Serra in April. He also went bowhunting and bagged a deer.

- The UFC sent out a press release today officially announcing three fights for the stacked UFC 92 event on Dec. 27. As expected, Rashad Evans/Forrest Griffin, Wanderlei Silva/”Rampage” Jackson, and Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira/Frank Mir are on tap. Said Evans:

“Forrest fights from the heart just like me, and everyone underestimates Forrest until they get in there with him, like me. I think he and I are going to be like Ali vs. Frazier – this will be the first time we meet, but it won’t be the last, so I want to set the precedent.”

(In his own words: “Tattoos are my hobby. That is that.” Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

While you’re trying to figure out what witty zingers might pass between Aleksander Emelianenko, Vladimir Putin, and Jean-Claude Van Damme in our latest caption contest, you might be wondering to yourself, what ever became of Aleks after he was kicked off the Affliction event amid rumors that he may or may not have Hepatitis B? Well don’t worry. According to Aleks, it was all just a paperwork issue, as he explains to The Fight Network:

“I came late, couldn’t get my Visa in time and I was not allowed to fight. I’m healthy.”

That’s weird, because just last week M-1′s Raimond Joost said you had “medical issues.” Granted, he also expressed optimism that they could be resolved, but he sure as hell didn’t try and chalk the whole thing up to Visa troubles. Not to mention, if it was just a paperwork snafu, why would the CSAC’s Bill Douglas say this:

“The one thing that I can absolutely say is that he (Emelianenko) was not and will not be cleared to fight in California. He is officially denied a license and that will stand for all of the United States of America.”

Aleks, I’m getting the sneaking suspicion that you are lying to us, and doing a really bad job of it. Couldn’t you at least think of something more plausible? The strangest comment of the interview, however, was this one:

As we see in the latest installment of his video blog, Dana White was still in England yesterday, presiding over the London tryouts of The Ultimate Fighter: U.S. vs. U.K. 175 limey scrappers showed up (or “over 200,” depending on when you ask Dana), up from about 30 the last time they held open auditions there. This is actually the first TUF tryout footage I’ve ever seen, and it was an interesting behind-the-scenes look — particularly for Dana’s speech before the grappling portion, in which he told the guys that there’s no shame in tapping, but “no heel-hooks, no slams, no crazy shit.” It’s a safe, nurturing environment, in other words. Also, Michael Bisping stops by to show Dana his grody ear.

Related: MMA Weekly reports that the weight-classes featured on TUF 9 will actually be lightweights (again) and welterweights, not middleweights and welterweights as previously announced; no reason for the change has been given yet.

(Sample images courtesy of Viking Studio. Click thumbnails for larger versions.)

This month marks the release of Fighter: The Fighters of the UFC, a collection of black-and-white portraits of over 100 UFC fighters, shot by acclaimed photographer/Coach president Reed Krakoff. The book features a foreword by Sam Sheridan, and a portion of the proceeds will be donated to the Yellow Ribbon Fund. According to the press release, “The striking images are juxtaposed with quotes from each fighter, whose candor will be surprising to even die-hard UFC fans.” And the best part is, we’re giving away three copies to you, our loyal readers. Just provide a clever caption to the photo that’s after the jump, and we’ll pick our favorites on Friday. Feel free to enter more than once; good luck…

(Will act coquettishly adorable and sexy for food?)

While none of us may be positively heartbroken or even surprised to see Pro Elite shut down its operation, the thing to keep in mind is that the MMA marketplace just got smaller. That means fewer opportunities for fighters and, at least for most, meager paychecks in the near future. Former Icon Sport promoter Patrick Freitas reminded us of this fact with a post to the UG that read, in part:

I Just wanted to say that as everyone here is dancing on the Elitexc’s grave, I think its important to remember that a shitload of good fighters (and great people) just saw their contracts disappear into the ether.

That’s the truth. Whatever you think of Pro Elite’s demise and the reasons behind it, one thing we can all agree on is it isn’t the fault of the fighters they employed. But now that those fighters find themselves without an organization to call home, where do they go? The answer, of course, depends on who they are. Most will end up in local promotions. But what about the big fish?

Jake Shields: If the UFC could only pick up one of the newly unemployed EliteXC fighters, Shields should be that one. He was probably the most talented guy on their roster, and something tells me Zuffa could scoop him up relatively cheaply. If he comes in and makes an impact on the UFC’s welterweight division right away, great. If he doesn’t, the UFC can claim it as proof that their fighters are far and away the best in the industry.

Kimbo Slice: The EliteXC collapse couldn’t have happened at a worse time for Ferg. Coming off an embarrassing loss and with a half a million dollar price tag, he does not look like a good investment right now. We know the UFC isn’t interested. Affliction has enough heavyweights to do something with him, but he’ll have to take a major pay cut. Even then his shelf life is a question, as is his desire to continue on as a pro fighter. Don’t be surprised if we’ve seen the last of Kimbo’s MMA days.

(Possession with intent to get groovy.)

First EliteXC shuts down and now this. Former Pride fighter and MMA veteran Enson Inoue was popped for marijuana possession in Tokyo this past weekend. The forty-one-year-old fighter was nailed by the Tokyo Metropolitan Police, and he admitted to getting the weed from an acquaintance and “inhaling three or four times in a month“:

According to reports at both Mainichi Daily News and Nikkan Sports, a policeman busted Inoue at 3 PM JST on the 18th (Saturday) at a coin-parking machine in (Ikebukuro) Toshima city (Tokyo). During a car inspection, the policeman discovered marijuana cigarettes (up to 16.9 grams of marijuana) in the car’s sunroof, door compartment, and pocket(s) of Inoue’s clothing.

Damn, Enson. In the sunroof? Really?

As you may or may not know, marijuana laws in Japan are pretty strict, as an unfortunate Russian sumo wrestler found out earlier this year, so this could go badly for Inoue. 16.9 grams is enough to get you in hot water lots of places, but especially in a country that’s been coming down hard on pot-smoking pro athletes lately. Ironic, considering it’s known to MMA fans as the home of rampant steroid use.

Best of luck, Enson. In trying times like these, who can blame a man for keeping a marijuana cigarette in his sunroof?

(Penn and St. Pierre during their first fight at UFC 58 in 2006, which GSP won by split decision. Photo courtesy of Brawl Sports.)

Though Dana White has previously stated that the UFC 94 superfight between BJ Penn and Georges St. Pierre would be a non-title bout, Dave Meltzer is reporting that the UFC has changed their mind, and GSP’s welterweight title will be on the line. This would give Penn the opportunity to be the first UFC fighter to hold championships in two different weight divisions at the same time. Of course, he’ll have to win a five-round fight against St. Pierre to do so, which ain’t gonna be easy. UFC 94 is slated to go down in Las Vegas on January 31st, and will also feature the much-anticipated light-heavyweight scrap between Lyoto Machida and Thiago Silva. In other UFC news…

— If Anderson Silva makes it out of Saturday’s fight against Patrick Cote unscathed, he could possibly fight again at UFC 92 on December 27th, a card that’s already stacked with heavyweight and light-heavyweight title fights, as well as the match between Quinton Jackson and Wanderlei Silva. Josh Koscheck may have a quick turnaround as well.

— Brock Lesnar will be profiled in a segment on ESPN’s E:60 tonight at 7 p.m. ET., in which he discusses, among other things, his disappointment in not making it in the NFL and his minor addiction to booze and pills.

(Well, it was fun while it lasted. Photo courtesy of Esther Lin.)

Multiple MMA news outlets are reporting that due to its insurmountable debt and failure to find a buyer or major funding, EliteXC will go out of business this week, and their Showtime event scheduled for next month has already been canceled. From Sherdog:

Joey Villasenor, who was slated to challenge Robbie Lawler for the EliteXC middleweight crown in Reno, was informed of the show’s cancellation Monday evening.

[Icon Sport founder] TJ Thompson, a Pro Elite executive, said he’d been informed Monday morning by the company that it was closing its doors for good this week and that bankruptcy paperwork had already been filed…

A notice posted Monday evening at graciefighter.com read, “We are confirming that EliteXC has folded. What this means for our fans and supporters is that there will not be a Nick Diaz vs. Eddie Alvarez fight on November 8th.”

In an interview with MMA Weekly, Thompson said that Showtime’s rumored deal to buy EliteXC was sunk by the controversy of their last event — and the controversy was more than warranted:

“I think (CBS) got cold feet watching. The way the Ken Shamrock pullout was handled, all the way from the beginning to the end with Seth Petruzelli. Watching Jared Shaw jumping up and down and screaming as a representative of the company, I think was disgusting and embarrassing…

I don’t have a smoking gun, (but) I’ve been around long enough, I’ve talked to enough people that were there, I won’t name names of executives in the company that I know — Seth was paid to stand up. I’m confident of that. If the commission wants to talk to me, I’ll tell them what I know.”

(Luis Cane’s pimp-slap, straight left combo. No one ever expects it. Props, UG.)

- Apparently the hip new trend for youngsters on the internet is to film themselves making UFC predictions and then throw it up on YouTube. Fightlinker spotted the very enthusiastic WishKid12 doing her thing, and decided to see how her picks matched up against those made by professionals like us. We’re proud to report that both Bens (weirdly, we made the exact same picks) soundly defeated this precocious prognosticator. While she went 2-3 on the night, we went 4-1 (curse you Cane, and your bitch-slapping awesomeness). The only one in this impromptu contest to beat us was Fightlinker, with a perfect 5-0. So basically we’re smarter than a twelve-year-old girl but dumber than drunk Canadians. That’s still better than either of our families ever expected.

- Patrick Cote tells MMA Mania that the UFC did not have him sign a contract extension prior to his title fight against Anderson Silva at UFC 90 this Saturday night. That’s notable since he’s at or near the end of his current contract, and typically the UFC makes sure they have a guy locked up before they take a chance on him becoming a belt-holder. At least, that’s what they do when they think the challenger has a chance in hell of winning.

- In case you were wondering, Dana White says he will reward Josh Koscheck with a shot at the welterweight title if he beats Thiago Alves this weekend. We all know how much White loves guys who are willing to step in on short notice, and Koscheck has a chance to turn Diego Sanchez’s misfortune into a big break for himself. Not that anyone’s really clamoring for GSP-Koscheck II at this point.

- MMA Payout takes issue with the UFC’s insinuation that Brandon Vera voluntarily sat out a year and then returned a different fighter. They point out that Vera was an early victim of the “Zuffa Freeze Out” and that by running around comparing the old Vera to the new one, Dana White may be unwittingly calling the wrong kind of attention to his own negotiation practices. Damn revisionist history.

From the unaired preliminaries, Per Eklund (he’s the bald one with the peace tattoo) and Samy Schiavo go at it at UFC 89 while some Dutch dudes (or Swedish dudes, if you really give a shit) narrate. The fight has the frenetic pace that we’re accustomed to from the desperate prelim fighters, and it makes for a hell of a scrap that is absolutely worth watching.

It’s tough to tell from the lighting and the camera angle, but it would appear that in England people actually show up for the prelims. There’s a noticeable lack of the empty seats that we’re used to during these fights. Guess that’s what happens when you sell those cageside seats to individuals rather than casinos. Good to see people getting their money’s worth.

From FightHype via MMA Mania:

“I got plenty of money. I don’t even care…I love fighting, but I’m just doing it for fun. I don’t feel like doing it right now, so I’m not going to do it….I might come out of retirement in a little while, but right now, I’m retired…There is no need for me to fight, so I’m just happy to have lived such a fun career inside of MMA, so if it ends now, it was fun…

Oh, I will be in the MMA world. I can’t really escape this land of tacky skull T-shirts and spics chicks with bad tattoos. (Ed. note: FightHype now says that “chicks” was originally misunderstood to be “spics” due to background noise.) I can’t get out of here that easily, but with that being said, I don’t need to fight…

I’d like to be remembered as a man who fought primarily for the fans. Regardless of the outcome of the fight, I always fought to put on a show.”

First off, I just want to give a thumbs down to FightHype and MMA Mania for presenting this story with no judgment whatsoever on Miller’s use of the word “spics.” Mayhem’s generally wacky persona shouldn’t give him a free pass to drop racial slurs at will. Is that too much to ask? I’d love to hear Miguel Torres and Roger Huerta’s take on the matter.

All that aside, it seems like a slightly premature retirement, in the vein of Melvin Manhoef’s. Miller lost his last bout — a decision against Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza at DREAM.4 in June — which snapped a four-fight win streak. His career was highlighted by wins against Denis Kang, Robbie Lawler, and Tim Kennedy, and he lost his sole UFC appearance to Georges St. Pierre at UFC 52 in April 2005. So, whatever. Shilling for Triumph United will have to pay the bills for now…

On Friday, we showed you Suzanne VanOrman’s attempt to discredit MMA veteran/Oregon State Representative candidate Matt Lindland as a barbaric and well-paid cage-fighter. Well, here’s one of Matt’s attack ads. LOFL @ that garbage-ass green screen and Lindland’s Meat Loaf-esque campaign platform. Good luck, buddy.

(Props: Yahoo! MMA Experts)
Michael Bisping defends his measured performance at UFC 89 in this video interview from The Telegraph.

After the jump: Keith Jardine answers questions at the post-UFC 89 press conference in his usual humble, quiet, completely unmarketable way, and the painfully attractive Rachelle Leah stops by Chelsea Lately to discuss her decision to do Playboy, while Chelsea drops in quirky vagina-slang at every opportunity and shows off her pet midget.

(Mo’ money, mo’ unfulfilled expectations.)

You can’t say Dana White didn’t warn Brandon Vera. His comments before UFC 89 suggested that it was time for “The Truth” to justify his high price tag. He didn’t, and so White is turning up the heat on him with remarks like these:

“I’m not seeing what I expected from Brandon Vera. It’s like he’s lost something. He doesn’t have that killer instinct since he took that year off. He doesn’t go after people. He used to be so cocky. He wanted to fight everybody.

“We tried to get him on one of the seasons of The Ultimate Fighter and he turned that down and said he wanted to fight Chuck Liddell and that he would knock him out. I hear that seven days a week so I told him to go on TUF and we’d find out how good he was.

“He was good. He used to walk through heavyweights earlier in his career. But he took a year off and we had all the issues with his contract and he hasn’t been the same since. I don’t know what’s wrong with him.”

It’s not exactly shocking to hear Dana White go after a guy who held him over the coals in contract negotiations and has since failed to live up to expectations. In a way, it seems justified. The UFC agreed to his six-figure demands based on his past performances and what they saw as his future potential. Lately he’s looked like a bad investment.

But being badmouthed in public by your boss, both before and after the fight, that’s got to sting. Especially when he goes on to compare you unfavorably to other guys who lost on the same night:

(Carwin looked impressive, but how about a tough opponent next?)

You’re wondering who’s up and who’s down after UFC 89. The Potato Index’s system of arbitrary numbers devoid of any unit of measurement will tell you. It’s kind of like the stock market, only less depressing. We spent all weekend doing the math and here’s what we came up with. You’re welcome.

Michael Bisping +16

“The Count” won a fight he was supposed to win. Via decision. He never took any chances, didn’t show anything extra special, but he fought smart and he got the win. As a reward, he gets the TUF coaching job and the fight with the Hendo/Ace winner that was already his anyway. At least he didn’t screw it up.

Brandon Vera -132

Once upon a time Vera was the heir apparent in the heavyweight division. Now he’s a mediocre light heavyweight who doesn’t even put on much of a show anymore. What happened? He’s no longer exciting or effective, and he’s far too conservative. He’s making too much money to be doing so little.

Chris Leben -8 1/2

Leben chased Michael Bisping for three rounds and only got a little frustrated and reckless toward the end. A sign of his maturity? Sure, but also a sign that middleweight gatekeeper is about as high as he can hope to climb. He’s still exciting, so he’s not going anywhere. He also won’t be back in the main event any time soon.

Joe Rogan’s tribute beard +18

Sounded a little hokey at first, but it turns out that facial hair can be an effective homage to a fallen champion.

Luis Cane +284

The biggest win of Cane’s career, by far, and one that should get him noticed by the UFC brass. We called his record padded before, but he added some meat to it on Saturday night.

(They don’t call him “Handsome Dan” for nothing. Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.)

Sherdog has confirmed that Michael Bisping’s next opponent — and his rival coach on the next season of The Ultimate Fighter — will be the winner of the Rich Franklin/Dan Henderson fight at UFC 93 (January 17th; Dublin, Ireland). TUF‘s “U.S. vs. U.K.” season will feature middleweights and welterweights, and is slated to premiere in April ’09.

Though a win against either Ace or Hendo could qualify Bisping for an immediate title shot against Anderson Silva (or Patrick Cote, LOL) — and wins against Franklin and Bisping could earn Henderson a rematch with the Spider — you have to wonder what’s in it for Rich Franklin. Let’s say he becomes the U.S. coach for TUF 9. He’ll have to drop back down to middleweight to fight Michael Bisping at the end of the season, but if he beats Bisping, it’s not like he’ll move any closer to a third middleweight title shot against Silva. He’ll just return to 205, with his standing in that division no higher than it was in the first place. Could it be that Ace just needs another Hummer to auction off?

The Dean of Mean keeps the Jackson camp tradition alive at UFC 89. Props to Justinmacd.

Previously: Rashad Evans Explains the Nipple Twist

Props to TheSun, Sherdog, MMAWeekly, and UFC.com. If you missed Saturday’s liveblog, click here.

(Lytle vs. Taylor)

The UFC released its customary end-of-night bonuses for yesterday’s event in Birmingham. $40,000 bumps went to the following fighters:

Fight of the Night: Chris Lytle and Paul Taylor for their three-round throwdown, which was even brawlier than the main event.

Knockout of the Night: Luis Cane for his TKO-via-punches victory over Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou.

Submission of the Night: As Fowlkes predicted, Jim Miller gets it for tapping David Baron via Millerplata — which is just a fancy name for a rear-naked-choke.

More vids after the jump…

(Gono brings some much needed style to the weigh-ins. Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

Despite the best attempts of some jerks to ruin the results of tonight’s tape-delayed event, those of you who have managed to remain willfully ignorant will get to see it all unfold without the curse of omniscience that makes God’s days so utterly boring. Those of you who have had the outcome spoiled for you already, you’ll just get to see some fights. I’ve spent all afternoon trying to make sense of Michael Bisping’s video blog (turns out “geezer” means something different in England) and getting myself all riled up on coffee and booze, so I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.

Let’s turn on some Spike TV, see the same video game ads over and over again, down some frosty beverages, and watch some fights. Just thank your lucky stars it’s free. Remember to refresh the page every so often. Giddyup.

Michael Bisping’s UFC 89 Vlog – Watch more free videos

Here’s Michael Bisping‘s UFC 89 video blog from yesterday, following him through the weigh-ins and the aftermath. Since much of this video is just Bisping sitting around and talking with his British friends, I understood very little of what was going on. Still it seems interesting that Bisping does his own video blog for this event, is basically the impetus for the whole card and its location, and has already been named as the next TUF coach regardless of his performance tonight.

At least one fighter thinks all the attention is undeserved. In Sherdog’s “pros pick” article for this fight, Clay Guida not only sides with Chris Leben but calls Bisping “the most overrated TUF winner in UFC history.” Daaaaaamn!

(Oh. No. She. Didn’t.)

- Matt Lindland’s MMA career now fodder for political smear campaign. (MMA Payout)

- Dana White says Anderson Silva could fight GSP, but never B.J. Penn. (The Sun)

- Little Nog is headed to Japan again, this time for Sengoku. (Fight Ticker)

- Chris Horodecki considering a fight in Japan while he waits for Affliction II. (MMA Weekly)

- Tim Sylvia headed to Dream or Sengoku? Really? (Nightmare of Battle)

- Fedor could fight Arlovski next, or Barnett. Who knows!? (MMA Fanhouse)

- Chuck Liddell turned away from big shot nightclub, and he’s not pleased. (TMZ)

- Robert Drysdale talks MMA debut. (Tatame)

- A movie trailer that is better than most actual movies. (Holy Taco)

- Life after Lehman Brothers. (Wall Street Fighter)

- Seven most underrated hot chicks on TV. (Screen Junkies)

- Brtual broken bottle beatdown. (Nothing Toxic)