(Props: MMA Madness)

If you’ve ever wondered where Sean Sherk gets his endless gas tank, check out the agony he puts himself through at Minnesota’s Athletic Performance Inc. Their infamous “Caveman Training” sessions push cardio and muscle endurance to the absolute limit, incorporating everything from steeply-inclined treadmill-running to what looks like double-dutch rope-swinging, which I guess isn’t just for little girls and fairies anymore. Even the insanely conditioned Muscle Shark is sucking air and checking his watch before long. Sherk returns to action at UFC 90 (October 25th, Chicago) against Tyson Griffin, who has gone to a decision in his last five fights — which shouldn’t be a problem for Sean.

(At first he claimed to have other plans that night, but no one was buying that.)

The fates of Diego Sanchez and Josh Koscheck are indeed intertwined in mysterious ways. The UFC sent out a release today announcing that Diego Sanchez has been forced to withdraw from his UFC 90 bout with Thiago Alves due to torn rib cartilage. Stepping in to face Alves on short notice will be Sanchez’s TUF 1 buddy, Josh Koscheck.

From the official release:

“There is nothing worse than having a great fight and then having one of the fighters drop out at the last second,” said UFC President Dana White. “But the one thing the UFC has proven time and time again is our ability to replace fights with ones as good as or better than the original fight, and we’ve done it again with the highly-ranked Josh Koscheck stepping up to replace Diego Sanchez against welterweight wrecking machine Thiago Alves. Hats off to Josh and Thiago, as not many fighters would agree to a matchup this tough on such short notice.”

[...]

“Josh Koscheck is a great fighter and I think he’s an even better matchup for me,” said Alves. “I’m looking forward to fighting him, and I’m gonna knock him out.”

[...]

“I think he’s a tough opponent,” said Koscheck. “He’s on a tear right now in the UFC and for me to step up and fight him, I think it’s gonna be an exciting fight. I’ve been in training since Chris Lytle, I haven’t taken any time off, and he’s a tough guy, so I’ve got to come in and fight him at my ‘A’ game.”

Alves is a tough opponent to step in against on short notice, but how could Koscheck resist such a golden opportunity to grind salt in Sanchez’s torn rib cartilage? The only thing worse than having to pull out of a big fight is having a rival swoop in and take it.

As late replacements go, Koscheck probably makes the most possible sense. Instead of throwing Alves against someone far lower on the welterweight totem pole, he gets someone at right about the same level. This bout, in terms of both quality of competition and future ramifications on the division, has simply made a lateral move. How many times have we been able to say that?

(See, Japan? Dana White knows what you’re into. You guys are still into samurai swords, right?.)

The UFC is headed back to Japanese TV sets via a new two-year deal with the Japanese subscription-based broadcaster WOWOW. They’ll be broadcasting all UFC pay-per-views starting with this Saturday’s UFC 89 from England on a tape delay. From the press release:

“The Japanese market has always been important to the UFC, and we want to bring MMA and all of its biggest stars back to Japan,” said Dana White, UFC President. “We are thrilled to be back with WOWOW.”

“WOWOW is extremely pleased to announce that UFC is back on WOWOW, starting with the UFC 89 event in Birmingham, UK,” said Mr. Kazuyuki Omura, Chief Producer, WOWOW. “The UFC will telecast in High Definition on WOWOW’s popular “Timely-on-Air” format, a limited delay broadcast adjusting the airtime to a time that will be convenient for the sports fans in Japan. After airing over 50 UFC shows from 2001 to 2007, we are excited to once again provide our subscribers with the most prominent mixed martial arts program in the world.”

There, Japanese MMA fans, does that take some of the sting out of Zuffa buying Pride only to dismantle it? No, probably not, but what can you do. At least you’ve still got Dream, and at least they finally paid Nick Diaz for a fight that happened last spring.

This TV deal is just one more box checked in the UFC’s global domination plans. Now look the fuck out, Phillipines.

(Props: MMA Fanhouse)

In this UFC 90 hype video Rich “No Love” Clementi claims that he was the only lightweight willing to step up and fight Gray Maynard, and he did so because he’s the type who “looks for challenges and adversity.” No disrespect to Maynard here, but since when did he become the guy who makes all other UFC lightweights run and hide? What, he holds Frankie Edgar down for three rounds and now we’re supposed to believe that the UFC has trouble finding an opponent for him?

This is the kind of thing that makes you wonder if matchmaker Joe Silva isn’t feeding all the fighters the same lines, like an unimaginative pick-up artist. Either he tells you that they’re offering you this fight because you’re the only one with the balls to take it, or else he says the winner gets a title shot. What’s weird is that those are the same pick-up lines I use. The results so far have been…mixed.

Check out the heavily edited and still kind of lame highlight clips of both Clementi and Maynard during this video. Notice how they include Maynard’s submission-inducing slam of Rob Emerson, but cut it before you have a chance to realize that he knocked himself out in the process. Clever. Also, is it just me, or are most of Clementi’s highlights not really so highlight-y?

(Props: MMA Scraps)

This 18-minute compilation is the only PRIDE highlight reel you’ll ever need, featuring the most brain-rattling finishes by Aleksander and Fedor Emelianenko, Alistair Overeem, Mirko Cro Cop, Dan Henderson, Quinton Jackson, Wanderlei Silva, Sergei Kharitonov, Joachim Hansen and many more. Listen closely at the 8:27-8:30, 8:47-8:50, and 17:47-17:50 marks to hear early versions of Frank Trigg’s “Oh! Oh no! Oh no!” catchphrase that he perfected during the Fedor/Sylvia fight.

(Props: BloodyElbow)

Speaking of dudes who knock people dead, here’s heavyweight rising star Shane Carwin discussing his fight against the noticeably smaller Neil Wain at UFC 89 this Saturday. Carwin is currently 9-0, with all wins coming via first-round stoppage, and all but one of those stoppages happening within the first two minutes.

Something short, simple, and hilarious awaits you after the jump…

Healthy again after a knee injury forced him to withdraw from an April match against Matt Hamill, TUF 1 finalist Stephan Bonnar is set to return to the Octagon for the first time since last October. Five Ounces reports that the American Psycho will likely face Team Bomb Squad’s Jon Jones at UFC 94 (January 31st, Las Vegas). Jones began his professional MMA career in April of this year, and racked up six straight victories, including a unanimous decision over Andre Gusmao in his August UFC debut. With his amateur wrestling background and unconventional striking, Jones may prove to be a tough welcome-back fight for the newly-rehabbed Bonnar. UFC 94 will be headlined by the welterweight fight between Georges St. Pierre and BJ Penn.

In other UFC fight-booking news…

— TUF 7 finalist CB Dollaway (7-1, 1-1 UFC) will be making his third appearance in the Octagon on December 27th, as he’ll be facing Mike Massenzio at UFC 92. Dollaway is coming off his “Peruvian Necktie” submission of Jesse Taylor at UFC Fight Night 14 in July, while Massenzio is coming off his successful UFC debut last month at UFC Fight Night 15, where he caught Drew McFedries in a kimura early in the first round.

— Speaking of McFedries, the Miletich fighter will be stepping in to face Thales Leites at UFC 90 (October 25th, Chicago), replacing undefeated Croatian fighter Goran Reljic, who recently had to withdraw from the fight due to a back injury.

(Ken Shamrock: master of the silly face staredown.)

Frank Shamrock won’t stop talking about how much he wants to fight his older brother. In fact, the older and slower Ken Shamrock becomes, the more Frank seems to want a bout with him. Weird. Now the adopted brothers are telling ESPN.com that the bout is basically a done deal, while the ever-questionable Head of Operations for EliteXC, Jeremy Lappen, sounds more cautious.

The reasons EliteXC will probably end up making this fight are obvious. At least, they’re obvious once you consider the way EliteXC thinks. The fight has a “cool hook,” according to Frank, and that’s more than enough for the people who brought us Kimbo Slice-Tank Abbott. The reasons they might not make it happen? How about a mix of financial concerns and worries over whether Ken will be engaging in any headbutting contests the day of the fight and end up pulling out at the last minute again.

Beyond those obvious risks, here are several other reasons why we can do without Shamrock vs. Shamrock.

1. It’s eight years too late. The time to make this fight was when both guys were at or at least near the top of their game. Frank’s last great moment was his victory over Tito Ortiz in 1999. Since then he’s been reluctant to fight genuinely dangerous opponents, and has usually come out on the losing end when he does. Ken had a good showing in a decision loss against Don Frye in 2002, then started to go downhill shortly after. At this point, what does it matter who wins? Obviously, it will be Frank, but still, so what? It’s meaningless beyond the tepid personal grudge, which brings me to…

(Jay Hieron batters the outmatched Chris Kennedy. Photo courtesy of MMAWeekly.)

From the Thomas & Mack Center in Las Vegas on Saturday night…

Hector Ramirez def. Rick Roufus via unanimous decision
Jay Hieron def. Chris Kennedy via unanimous decision
Mike Pyle def. Brian Gassaway via submission (armbar), 4:21 of round 1
John Alessio def. Gideon Ray via TKO, 0:45 of round 1
Josh Haynes def. Sean Salmon via submission (achilles lock), 2:49 of round 2
Jonathan Mix def. John Halverson via TKO, 4:25 of round 1
Patrick Gonsalves def. Shawn David via submission (kimura), 3:51 of round 2
Elena Reid def. Stephanie Palmer via TKO, 0:53 of round 1
Ryan Hass def. Ian Omalza via submission (armbar), 3:09 of round 1

Notes
— Jay Hieron’s original opponent (6-13 jobber Bryson Kamaka) was pulled from the event on Friday after testing positive for marijuana, and was replaced by Chris Kennedy. Hieron dominated Kennedy for three rounds with slams and ground-and-pound, but was unable to finish him. Kennedy left the fight with a golf-ball sized welt on his forehead.

— There was a minor altercation after the Alessio/Ray fight, when Ray threw his mouthpiece at Alessio’s sister, who wouldn’t stop cheering after the match was over. The mouthpiece missed her and struck the dude sitting next to her. Arena security quickly prevented the situation from escalating.

— The event will be broadcast on HDNet on October 17th at 10 p.m.

(Photo courtesy of MeanStyle.com)

Several times Keith Jardine has seemed on the verge of breaking into the top echelon of the UFC’s light heavyweight division. His unexpected victories over current 205-pound champ Forrest Griffin and former champ Chuck Liddell showed flashes of his ability, but after each triumph he was brought back down by subsequent knockout losses against Houston Alexander and Wanderlei Silva, respectively.

Now “The Dean of Mean” has another chance to get back in the win column against Brandon Vera at UFC 89 this Saturday. In this exclusive Cage Potato interview, Jardine discusses his next test, his prior losses, and how they all blend together.

***

CagePotato.com: Hey Keith, thanks for talking with me. With fight night creeping up on us, how has your training been for this one?
KEITH JARDINE: Training has been going great. I’ve had Rashad Evans to work with and then Georges St. Pierre’s been through here. It doesn’t get much better than that. You’ve got to have guys who are going to push you. You can’t just go against people you can beat up. You should be a little nervous to go to practice every day. If you aren’t, then you probably aren’t getting better.

It does sound like you always have lots of great guys coming through Greg Jackson’s to help you prepare. But tell me about Greg himself. I saw a video after your loss to Wanderlei where he said he took full responsibility for the loss. What did he mean by that?
That’s just Greg. That’s just how he is. He takes everything on himself. The truth is it was my fault. I’m the one who lost my focus for a second. You can’t do that against a guy like [Silva].

Well next up you’ve got Brandon Vera, who’s pretty tough as well. What are you expecting out of him on October 18?
He’s one of the most accomplished kickboxers around, plus he’s got great ground skills, so he’s not weak in any area. His muay thai is great and it would really mean a lot to beat him.

Since he is such an accomplished kickboxer do you think you’ll want to stand and trade with him, or would you rather get him to the ground?
No, I’m not worried about any of that. He’s one of the top guys in the weight class and one of the top guys in the world, so I’m just excited to go out there and get a chance to fight him.

After your fight with Liddell, a lot of people remarked on the sizable difference in pay between you. Obviously he’s a big star for the UFC, but he made half a million for losing and you made fourteen grand for winning. That’s got to be a little aggravating, right?

The UFC has officially announced the televised main card for UFC 91 (November 15th, Las Vegas), and if they were hoping that sales of their high-end tickets would pick up, this probably isn’t going to help. Here’s what we’ll be seeing on the pay-per-view:

— Randy Couture vs. Brock Lesnar (for heavyweight championship)
— Kenny Florian vs. Joe Stevenson
— Amir Sadollah vs. Nick Catone
— Gabriel Gonzaga vs. Josh Hendricks
— Nate Quarry vs. Demian Maia

You know there’s a problem when a TUF winner vs. an Octagon newbie has the #3 spot. And Nick Catone isn’t the only newcomer on the main card — KOTC/Gladiators Fighting Series vet Josh Hendricks will be making his UFC debut against Gabriel Gonzaga; Hendricks is 10-0 with 1 no-contest in his last 11 matches, while Gonzaga is coming off his first win in three fights (a first-round sub of Justin McCully at UFC 86). While the undercard matches could provide some interesting moments, they won’t drive live ticket sales either. As of now, the prelims will play out like this:

— Dustin Hazelett vs. Tamdan McCrory
— Jorge Gurgel vs. Aaron Riley
— Jeremy Stephens vs. Rafael dos Anjos
— Mark Bocek vs. Alvin Robinson
— Matthew Riddle vs. Ryan Thomas

Dana White predicts UFC 91 will break one million PPV buys. Is that realistic if Randy vs. Brock is the only high-powered match on the card?

But maybe this will make up for it: MMABay.co.uk passes along the rumor that the UFC is trying to plan something extra special for their 100th pay-per-view event on the July 4th weekend — a card where every title will be on the line.

(Photo courtesy of n8vosburgh.)

Man, who can keep it straight anymore. Quote of the day from Seth Petruzelli on Sherdog’s Savage Dog Show (53:17-53:30):

“I don’t believe that [submission] bonus was there that night. They didn’t say…I’m not sure if that was offered to me that night or not. It might have been offered to other fighters, and stuff like that, but I’m not sure, because they didn’t say anything about a submission bonus to me, no.”

Petruzelli goes on to say that EliteXC is going to wait for things to “blow over” before booking him for another fight, but he should be fighting again in January or February.

Previously:
— Lappen Changes His Story Again
— EliteXC Under Investigation by Florida Dept. of Business and Professional Regulation

(Props: Mike from the soon-to-launch MMAOutlet.)

(As if this wasn’t humiliating enough.)

Did anybody watch the replay of UFC 87 on Spike last night? If you did, you might have noticed there was something missing. As the eternally vigilant Mike C. at MMAEruption explains:

The fight between Roger Huerta and Kenny Florian. Weird, huh? That was the third most-hyped fight at the event, and it does not make it onto the broadcast over stuff like Maia/Mcdonald and McFedries/Massenzio, the latter of which was actually from Ultimate Fight Night 15!

…

[N]othing pisses [Dana White] off more than when his fighters talk about money in public. And if you recall, shortly before UFC 87, Roger Huerta was interviewed by Fight! magazine, complaining quite a bit about the UFC’s compensation policies and his contract. Plus, if we look back at the original UFC 87 broadcast, Roger’s post-fight interview wasn’t broadcast. And now, the match between Roger and Kenny doesn’t even make it onto the replay? True, the fight wasn’t exactly the barn burner it was expected to be, but come on! Kenny and Roger are big names for the UFC.

So we can stick the proverbial fork in Roger Huerta, because he’s done. He is about to get the Andrei Arlovski treatment. Expect Roger’s next fight to be on the undercard of an Ultimate Fight Night against a wrestler that will hold him down and make him look bad for three rounds.

UFC 87′s three headlining fights (Huerta/Florian, Lesnar/Herring, GSP/Fitch) all went to decision, and while that may have created some time constraints for Spike, you can’t see this as anything but an intentional insult for Huerta — especially when his match is replaced by some random bout from an Ultimate Fight Night. We’ll keep you updated on when/where Huerta’s next match will be, but it’s looking like he’s being made an example of right now. Cold-blooded, bro…

Dana White calls for EliteXC investigation – Watch more free videos

Dana White is downright pissed off. He’s so mad at EliteXC in this video, one camera angle is insufficient for capturing his rage. He lays into EliteXC for the Seth Petruzelli “knockout bonus” scandal and suggests that Jeremy Lappen and the Shaws should look into the kickboxing business if they want to keep fights off the ground so badly. I couldn’t agree more.

For his part, EliteXC Head of Operations Jeremy Lappen changes his story yet again in a talk with AOL Fanhouse. First, Lappen told Si.com that Petruzelli was offered a knockout bonus, but the company doesn’t offer submission bonuses. Then he told ESPN.com that Petruzelli was offered a KO bonus, a submission bonus, and a fight of the night bonus. Now he says both stories misquoted him:

“They’re both wrong,” Lappen said. “We have given submission bonuses in the past but they’re not as common as knockout bonuses. If the question is, ‘Have we ever given submission bonuses?’ The answer is yes. But we give knockout bonuses more often. We gave Seth a knockout bonus before the fight started. That was part of the deal.”

Hold up, you gave him a knockout bonus before the fight started? As in, before he had knocked anyone out? Goddammit Lappen, I sure as hell hope you were “misquoted” yet again. At the very least I hope it’s just poor phrasing on your part and what you meant to say was you told of him of a potential knockout bonus before the fight. But either way, it’s still bullshit. You offered him an incentive to win a fight in a very specific manner, not an incentive to simply finish the fight.

Not to mention, this is the third time you’ve changed your story. Nobody gets misquoted this often. Not unless they keep changing their story so often that they can’t keep all the versions straight in their own mind.

(“Pee Wee” wrecks “The Meat Truck.”)

Dave Herman def. Kerry Schall via TKO (strikes) at 1:06 of round 1
Mamed Khalidov def. Jason Guida via TKO (strikes) at 4:53 of round 2
Anthony Lapsley def. Mike Stumpf via decision
Alexander Shlemenko def. Bubba McDaniel via TKO (knee) at 5:00 of round 1
Lyle Beerbohm def. Rafaello Oliveira via TKO (cut) at 5:00 of round 1
Matt Jaggers def. Orville Smith via unanimous decision
Jared McMahan def. Jacob Hey via submission (rear naked choke) at 3:11 of round 1
Tiawan Howard def. Johnny Hughes via submission (rear naked choke) at 3:42 of round 1
Josh Barnes def. Jeremy Norton via TKO (strikes) at 2:22 of round 1
Deray Davis def. John Kuhner via submission (rear naked choke) at 3:53 of round 2

More videos after the jump.

- Drew Fickett gets waaaaaay too personal in forum post. (UG)

- Kim Couture calls Jared Shaw a perv, no one is terribly surprised. (Steve Cofield)

- Kenny Florian struggles for answers on “MMA Live”. (ESPN)

- Michael Bisping responds to Chris Leben with dry British sarcasm. (Fighters Only)

- TUF 8 ratings rebound with Junie Browning’s alcohol-fueled antics. (MMA Payout)

- Marcus Aurelio says Hermes Franca is a bad person. (MMA Rated)

- Bobby Lashley goes from WWE to ATT. (AmericanTopTeam.com)

- Brett Rogers to fight TBA for EliteXC in November. (AOL Fanhouse)

- The sad state of product placement. (Wall Street Fighter)

- Tribute to the naughty nurse. (Holy Taco)

- Eric Cartman’s most evil moments. (Screen Junkies)

- Japanese wrestler beaten by coach. (Nothing Toxic)

(One of those days where it really sucks to have just one waist.)

Frank Shamrock has yet to encounter a situation that is not, at its core, about Frank Shamrock. It just hasn’t happened. It probably never will happen. The main event at EliteXC: Heat last Saturday night is a great example. You remember that one, right?

Kimbo Slice was set to face Ken Shamrock, but instead squared off against (and was quickly defeated by) Seth Petruzelli. You might have seen it. What you probably didn’t know at the time was that this situation was all about Frank Shamrock. He was the grown man with braces calling the fight for CBS. But really, he should have been in there fighting. If he had, MMA history could have been altered. At least, that’s the story he told Sherdog:

“I think it was a mistake to not let me fight [Kimbo Slice],” said Shamrock, who claims he offered to step in to face the notorious streetfighter.

[...]

“When I realized we would have to cancel the show, I said, ‘Look, I’ll fight the guy. You know, it’s a great story — little brother steps into the spot, comes out of the booth. It’s very compelling, but we need a fight to happen that’s compelling,’” Frank said. “That went around for hours. Then I put my shirt on and went to work. No one committed to it, so I just kept talking.”

Of course you did, Frank. Because that’s what you do. A lot of talking, and occasionally some fighting.

(Andrei Arlovski: It’s all meaningless without the WAMMA belt.)

MMA Rated has learned that Affliction’s second event will be headlined by a match between Fedor Emelianenko and Andrei Arlovski, and will likely be held in Anaheim, California, on January 24th — a week after UFC 93 in Dublin. According to Affliction Entertainment VP Tom Atencio, the date, location, and more bouts will be announced next week.

Though the event will still be co-promoted with Golden Boy, Affliction’s January event will only feature MMA matches, despite earlier rumors that it would be a mixed MMA/boxing card with a big-name boxing match in the main event spot. Said Atencio: “We sat down with them and couldn’t come up with a main event boxing match that everyone wanted.”

Arlovski represents the toughest challenge for Emelianenko in at least three years, and based on the Pitbull’s recent performance, he could give Fedor a run for his money. Even better, MMA fans won’t have to deal with a 12-round boxing buzzkill toplining the card. Sounds like a win-win.

(“Pee Wee” and “Meat Truck” get ready to mix it up. Photo courtesy of Esther Lin for EliteXC.)

EliteXC soldiers on tonight with another installment of their minor-league series ShoXC, which will go down at the Horseshoe Casino in Hammond, Indiana, and will be broadcast on Showtime at 11 p.m. ET/PT. Headlining the event is a heavyweight match between the undefeated Dave “Pee Wee” Herman and TUF 2 castmember Kerry Schall. Ten of Herman’s 11 wins have come via first-round stoppage; his most recent fight was a TKO win over Ron Waterman in June. Schall has dropped his last two to Antoine Hayes and Shane Ott, and will most likely get creamed tonight.

Jason “Fail” Guida (17-17) also returns to the cage, taking on Mahmed “Cannibal” Khalidov (14-3-1), a Chechen fighter who has become one of the biggest MMA rising stars in Poland. Russian knockout artist Alexander “Storm” Shlemenko (21-3) will be making his U.S. debut against Robert “Bubba” McDaniel (11-4), who most recently choked out Icon Sport champ Kala Kolohe Hose in 41 seconds during a non-title match at EliteXC: The Return of the King in June. And in the Battle of the Dudes With the Shittiest Nicknames, Lyle “Fancy Pants” Beerbohm (7-0) takes on Rafaello “Tractor” Oliveira (5-0); Tractor holds a win over Fabio Fabio and two wins over Big Big. At the very least, it’ll be worth a DVR’ing.

As for tomorrow night, if you’re in the Las Vegas area you’ll want to hit up the Thomas & Mack Center for “A Night of Combat II.” Co-promoted by Kim Couture, the event will feature Jay Hieron, Rick Roufus, Josh Haynes, Mike Pyle, Gideon Ray, John Alessio and more. Tickets range from $18-$53 — at those prices, you can’t afford not to go.

Andrei Arlovski vs. Roy Nelson – Watch more free videos

I have to say this for AOL Fanhouse’s Michael David Smith, when he sinks his teeth into something he doesn’t let go until he gets what he wants. While the rest of us have been stuck on this Seth Petruzelli situation, he was focused on a different aspect of Saturday’s EliteXC event. Seems that the odd stand-up in the Andrei Arlovski-Roy Nelson bout (see above, the stand-up comes at around the 4:27 mark) bothered Smith. So he kept after referee Jorge Ortiz until he got an answer:

“When I’m working a fight, they’re told in the locker room before the fight to keep working, continue the action moving,” Ortiz said. “Nelson did attempt the kimura. When he lost the kimura, at that point they had spent a good part of the round on the ground and I felt there wasn’t a reasonable attempt at a submission, at a finish. At that point I decided: Let’s get them up. Let’s see if he can improve the position, because in my opinion there wasn’t a reasonable attempt at finishing the fight.”

“In my opinion he wasn’t active enough,” Ortiz said. “I thought he needed to be more aggressive on the ground to attempt to finish the fight, and when I feel the action is at a point where it’s stale and it’s not going anywhere, at that point is where I decide to change it up and get something going here.”

Of course, what he “got going” was a stand-up fight that was most definitely more in Arlovski’s favor than Nelson’s. That’s not to say that Nelson would have won without the stand-up, but he had achieved a dominant position on the mat with plenty of time left in the round.

“Big Country”, as you might imagine, was also none too pleased with the stand-up when I called him earlier this week to ask what he was thinking when Ortiz brought the fighters back to their feet.

(‘CBS, man, let me hold twenty bucks.’)

We all knew that CBS was getting more and more involved with EliteXC’s possibly illegal operations, but according to a recent SEC filing (dug up by the intrepid lads at MMA Payout) they are now officially bankrolling entire events. At least, that’s what they did with the Oct. 4 show after EliteXC told them they were “unable to deliver” the event under the current terms of the agreement:

Accordingly, the Company and CBS agreed to amend the Agreement whereby CBS would assume all expenses for the event and receive all revenue from the event. CBS advanced the estimated event costs according to an agreed upon budget in order for the Company to pay expenses related to the event. Additionally, the Company and CBS waived mutual exclusivity under the Agreement for the Sunrise Event.

So not only is CBS paying the cost to put on EliteXC events, they’re also taking all the revenue and dropping it straight into their coffers. Now, I’m no financial expert, but isn’t this basically the same as the relationship between a pimp and a prostitute? CBS funds the operation. EliteXC puts on the show. Then EliteXC has to give all the money to daddy. In return, maybe CBS buys EliteXC something shiny and pretty at the mall on Sunday.

I know that relationship is as old as civilization itself, but it doesn’t sound like such a good deal if you’re EliteXC.

(Son’s mugshot [top] courtesy of TMZ.com; in retrospect, the abuse he took at UFC 4 was entirely deserved.)

This story is too bizarre and shocking not to pass along. You may remember Joe Son as the UFC/PRIDE fighter and practitioner of “Joe Son Do” who got his balls punched in by Keith Hackney at UFC 4 and had his groin abused further as Random Task in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery. Well, he might be facing 275 years in prison. TMZ caught it first:

Son pleaded guilty back in May to felony vandalism. The plea required him to fork over a DNA sample. Investigators ran his sample and found Son’s DNA connected him to an unsolved gang rape back in 1990, where a woman was pistol-whipped, raped, threatened with death and eventually blindfolded and released naked.

Son has been charged with five felony counts of rape, two felony counts of forcible sodomy, two felony counts of sodomy in concert by force, seven felony counts of forcible oral copulation, and one felony count of sexual penetration by foreign object by force.

Sherdog digs up more disgusting details:

Son, along with a second suspect, is accused of dragging the victim into the back of a car, pistol whipping her, threatening her life at gun point while he counted the bullets in his gun, and raping, sodomizing, and forcing her to orally copulate him repeatedly, according to a release from the Orange County District Attorney’s Office. Son is also accused of sexually penetrating the victim with his firearm before she was released naked with her pants tied around her eyes.

God bless DNA. Son is being held on $1 million bail. His accomplice in the crime is still at large.

Related:
— Joe Son highlight reel
— ‘Just Bleed’ guy in prison until 2012 for receiving stolen property

(If Tank was allowed to use his fearsome jiu-jitsu, it would have been a totally different story. Photo courtesy of MMAWeekly.)

When it was first announced that the Florida State Boxing Commission would not be investigating EliteXC’s alleged fight-fixing attempt, it seemed like the scandal would quietly be swept under the rug. But the public/media outcry has become too loud to ignore, and ESPN.com is reporting that the Florida Department of Business and Professional Regulation — which oversees the FSBC — will open a preliminary investigation into the legality of Seth Petruzelli’s “knockout bonus”:

“While the Department of Business and Professional Regulation doesn’t have any reason to believe there was a problem with the Slice-Petruzelli fight, given the interest in it, the Department has begun a preliminary investigation to thoroughly review the circumstances of the fight,” said Jennifer Meale, Communications Director for the DBPR.

Responding to this new development, EliteXC Head of Operations Jeremy Lappen continued to deny that the promotion acted inappropriately in any way:

“We offered Seth Petruzelli a knockout bonus, a submission bonus and “fight of the night” bonus. If we were trying to influence the fight, why would we do that?”

Oh, so now Seth was offered a submission bonus too? This is the first we’ve heard about that one, and of course, it directly contradicts what Petruzelli originally said. (“They didn’t want me to take him down.”) Former EliteXC boss Gary Shaw isn’t helping their case either. Speaking to the L.A. Times, $kala’s dad said…

(Just think of what might have been. Or better yet, don’t think about it. Ever.)

Oh, Ken Shamrock. Somehow the controversy over whether you cut yourself on purpose or whether you were just unlucky/dumb has been overshadowed in the past few days by other EliteXC controversies. It’s almost as if people have completely forgotten that it was supposed to be you who got paid extra to stand and trade with Kimbo Slice. Instead, you didn’t make a dime and ended up being but a footnote in this sad spectacle.

But fear not, MMA fans, for Ken Shamrock has composed (read: asked someone to write for him) an open letter explaining what went on this past Saturday and what he’d like to do about it. Take it away, Ken:

On October 4th, I was set to fight Kimbo Slice on the EliteXC/CBS Saturday Night Fights in a highly anticipated event. Unfortunately, because of a training accident and the intervention of the Florida State Boxing Commission, our fight did not happen. I suffered a cut above my left eye that required six stitches, and the cut was significant enough to cause the Florida State Boxing Commission to refuse to allow me to fight.

The scheduled bout with Kimbo on the EliteXC/CBS Saturday Night Fight card was a great opportunity, and it is unfortunate that I was unable to face Kimbo as planned. I want to apologize to all of my fans, and to the EliteXC and CBS executives who worked so hard to put this fight together. I also want to apologize to Kimbo, Bas Rutten and their entire camp for what happened. I recognize that I put them in a very bad situation, particularly Kimbo. It’s difficult to walk into the ring after training for one opponent only to find out hours before the fight that you have to face some you don’t know or have never seen fight.

(The glory before the fall. Photo courtesy of UFC.com.)

TUF 8 lightweight Shane Nelson was eliminated from competition on last night’s “Ultimate Fighter,” but not before a night of drinking with Junie Allen Browning turned into a near expulsion for the two. Now Nelson talks with CagePotato.com and reflects on the drunken debauchery, the rivalry with Efrain Escudero, and some of the antics of his blonde friend that he saw for the first time in last night’s episode.

CagePotato: Now that you’ve seen it on TV, what did you think of the way the situation with you and Junie was portrayed? Was that how you remember it?

Nelson: Yeah, it was pretty much what it seems on TV. Basically we were watching the pay-per-view, we decided to have a couple of drinks, we had one too many drinks, and then things got out of control from there. What they didn’t show and which I thought they would show, was the next morning when I woke up I went to Delgado and Efrain and I apologized to them and we all put everything behind us. I’m surprised that they left that part out of the show.

Did Dana White come and talk to you guys the very next night after it happened?

Yeah, Dana White came and talked to us the very next night, but the fight wasn’t the next day after Dana talked to us. The fight was about five days after that whole night. So it wasn’t like the drinking still had an effect on me in the fight.

What was going through your mind when Dana showed up?

Oh, we thought we were gone. Junie and I both thought we were getting kicked off the show, because when we first got there the producers stressed that we weren’t allowed to touch anyone or anything like that, and we both crossed that line. I pushed two people and Junie took a swing at a few people, so we both thought we were going home for sure.

So how did things start between you and Efrain?

Well, we were watching the fights and, I’m from B.J. [Penn]’s school, and they all knew that. So we were watching the pay-per-view and common courtesy, you know, if you make comments about my coach, you know it’s going to bother me. He was cheering for Sean Sherk, which is fine, but some of the comments he made while he was cheering for him got under my skin and that’s how me and him got into it.

(Josh Koscheck and Jon Fitch at the Walter Reed Army Medical Center. Photo courtesy of MMA Mania.)

The UFC’s “Fight for the Troops” event — which airs free on SpikeTV on Wednesday, December 10th, at 8 p.m. ET — got a proper main event today, as it was confirmed that Josh Koscheck will be facing off against Yoshiyuki Yoshida in a welterweight contest. Koscheck has gone 2-0 since losing to Georges St. Pierre at UFC 74, and most recently pounded all the blood out of Chris Lytle at UFC 86 in July. Yoshida (10-2) easily won his UFC debut against War Machine in May, and was supposed to fight Karo Parisyan last month at UFC 88 but Parisyan pulled out at the last minute due to a back injury.

“Fight for the Troops” will be held at the 8,500-seat Crown Coliseum in Fayetteville, North Carolina, not at Fort Bragg as was originally reported. (Apparently the UFC announced the venue before getting official clearance from the U.S. Army; a medium-sized Fail.) The event is intended to raise funds for the construction of The National Intrepid Center of Excellence, and attendance will be free for members of the armed services. Other featured matches include Mike Swick vs. Jonathan Goulet, Frankie Edgar vs. Matt Wiman, Luigi Fioravanti vs. Brodie Farber, and Eddie Sanchez vs. Justin McCully.

One serviceman who won’t be fighting at the event is former Marine/WEC light-heavyweight champ Brian Stann, who was forced to pull out of his rubber match against Steve Cantwell due to a broken foot; no word yet on a replacement opponent for Cantwell. Luke Cummo is also out due to injury, and he will be replaced by Johnny “The Hater Hurter” Rees in his scheduled fight against Steve Bruno.

In other UFC news, MMA Training reports that the TUF 8 finale (December 13th, location TBA) will be headlined by a match between Clay Guida and Kurt Pellegrino, not Guida and Nate Diaz as was previously rumored.

(Props: Fightlinker)

It’s time for a look at the weird, wild, wacky side of martial arts. First is the above clip of a XARM (Xtreme Arm Wrestling) match, where two competitors have their hands taped together, then proceed to beat each other senseless. I think the goal is still to pin your opponent’s arm on the table, but as you’ll see, that’s not quite how it plays out. The saddest part is that one of the dudes behind this spectacle is Art Davie, one of the co-creators of the UFC. Christ, even Bob Meyrowitz laughs at this guy. I feel bad for those XARM’ers wrists. And their mothers, of course.

(Props: MMA Junkie)

Meet Craig and Paul Pumphrey, stars of G4′s upcoming series Human Wrecking Balls. Both are members of the International Karate and Kickboxing Hall of Fame, and both enjoy breaking shit with their bare hands. My favorite part of this promo clip is 0:36-0:39, where the dude just straight-up runs through a wall. I thought that only happened in Kool-Aid commercials. Oh yeah!

(Photo courtesy of NationalPost.)

From Georges St. Pierre‘s latest blog entry for Yardbarker.com:

First I want to thank everybody for their get well wishes — I feel way better right now than I felt when I came back from L.A. It took me 3 days to recuperate and get back 100%. I didn’t take any medication — I just slept better and trained to sweat it out. After I felt better, I went to New York to see my trainer Phil Nurse and train with 4 of his students who had an upcoming fight at The Wat — Brett, Sean, Nicholas & Stan. It seems to me that every time I go to New York, those guys get better & better all the time. I also saw my old friends Eric Owing & Andre Gusmao — we went to dinner and then out together for a great night.

Then I came back in Montreal with new tricks and more tools than I had before I went to New York. It’s very important for me to help my friends and training partners when they need it because they were there for me when I prepare for my fights. When I came back to Montreal, I kept training with Patrick Cote & Denis Kang, who are both fighting on October 25th. Kang is fighting in Calgary, and Patrick Cote is fighting Anderson Silva for the UFC World Middleweight Championship. Patrick looks better than I have ever seen — even though the odds are not in his favor, I would not be surprised to see him shock the world. It would be great to have world champions in Quebec!

Georges Laraque, one of my friends who also plays for the Montreal Canadiens hockey team, gave me two tickets to go see their game Saturday night. Even though it was an off-season game, it was very fun and then after I went to see EliteXC at a friend’s house.

Gina did a nice performance and I’m glad for her because she also represents the sport very well. The main event was obviously a tough situation because Ken had to pull out because of a cut…and I have a lot of respect for Seth & Kimbo to still go out and put on the fight for the fans.

To see what GSP has to say about his latest deal with CAA Sports, training at Team Jackson, and his mentor Krystoff Midoux, read the rest of this post here.

(If he’d known you were such a cheapskate, he never would have come back.)

UFC president Dana White claimed with confidence that the Randy Couture-Brock Lesnar headlined UFC 91 would break UFC records this November. He predicted over a million pay-per-view buys and a sure sell-out at the box office. Turns out the tickets, or at least the high-priced ones, aren’t exactly flying off the shelves…or wherever they keep tickets while they’re waiting to sell them.

The Wrestling Observer (via MMA Payout) says only $500 and up tickets remain, but they’re “moving slowly.” Could it be that because of the economic downturn rich assholes are now slightly less rich assholes, and they’ve had to cut Octagon-side tickets at the UFC from their budget in order to keep their yachts stocked with exotic animals and Mickey’s Fine Malt Liquor? Or maybe that’s just what I would do if I were rich.

Dave Meltzer says that the tickets sold don’t include numbers from casinos which have purchased tickets to give to their high rollers, which, we’ve been told, was one of the reasons for taking this card to Las Vegas and not Portland, Oregon. Casinos can always afford ridiculously expensive seats. People have to make mortgage payments on their worthless houses.

The real story here is that while Dana White may be correct about economic problems not affecting his pay-per-view buys, it could very well be a different story for live events. If Couture-Lesnar can’t sell out the 14,000-seat MGM Grand, what will that mean for Frank Mir-Antonio Nogueira?

(ESPN‘s Jim Rome lays into EliteXC at about the 5:20 mark.)

This thing isn’t going away quietly. In the wake of allegations that EliteXC offered Seth Petruzelli extra money to stand and bang with Kimbo Slice, Head of Operations Jeremy Lappen issued a formal statement defending the company’s actions and refuting any claims of impropriety, saying in part:

“Seth Petruzelli was offered a fee to fight Kimbo Slice, plus a knockout bonus, a common practice throughout the industry. EliteXC organizes and promotes fights. We have not…do not…and will not suggest or dictate fighters’ strategies or tactics. How the fighters perform in the cage is at the sole discretion of the athletes involved.

“The circumstances leading up to the Petruzelli/Slice fight were unusual. Ken Shamrock was declared medically ineligible less than three hours before the fight. As an organization, we made a decision to serve the paying audience in the arena and the prime time audience at home by delivering on a Kimbo Slice fight, which we had promised. This was done simply and solely with a standard fee and bonus offer to Petruzelli and by increasing the purse to Slice. Elite XC is grateful to both Seth and Kimbo for taking this fight against an opponent they didn’t train for and on such short notice.

He then goes on to trumpet Frank Shamrock’s willingness to step in even though everyone knew it wasn’t a feasible offer (even Frank, one has to assume), touts the exciting and “diverse” night of fights, and mentions what great ratings it got.

Problem solved, right? I mean, all they did was offer the guy extra money to knock Kimbo out. They didn’t say that knockout had to be on the feet. And sure, they didn’t offer a submission bonus, but that’s only because they think submissions are boring. Nothing wrong with that…or is there? Well, yeah, there is actually. But don’t take our word for it.

Fortunately, Dana White spoke to the Boston Herald about it, and he’s not the type to mince expletives. I mean, words:

(Believe it or not, this is how AZ rolls, baby, all day.)

Every Thursday, Team Nogueira member Efrain Escudero blogs his reactions to each new episode of The Ultimate Fighter, exclusively on CagePotato.com. Don’t forget to check out the new fan section on EfrainEscudero.com, where you can interact with other EE fans and Efrain himself.

***

During this week of The Ultimate Fighter we had a lot of drama. First we were watching UFC 84: ILL WILL, and it was the only time we get to see television the entire time we are there. Junie and Shane start drinking, and I mean drinking. Since we’ve been in the house we have noticed that when Junie drinks we have to be on the look out and watch each other’s backs because he tries to fight us. Right after the angry Junie comes the crying Junie, and we don’t understand why.

As the fights continue I try to get Shane mad by telling him that BJ Penn was going to lose. I knew that wasn’t going to happen, but I just wanted to make it an exciting fight, and try to get Shane more excited about watching BJ win. That was not the smartest thing I could have done because he had been drinking and he was teaming up with Junie, so I knew it wasn’t going to be pretty. As the night progresses, Junie tries to fight with Kyle. I don’t know why he would ever try to even attempt that because Kyle would kick his ass if it really came down to it. So Junie throws a glass at Kyle and the damn thing breaks and cuts him. Luckily for Kyle it didn’t cut him badly and even luckier for Junie, Kyle could restrain himself.