XARM Heavyweight Championship Will Make You Feel Better About Your Life, Worse About Society
Do you know what today is? Yes, it's Wednesday, November 19. But in the history books it will be remembered as the premiere of the XARM Heavyweight Championship. Finally!!!
For those of you who missed our earlier mention of XARM, where we appropriately grouped it with dudes breaking things and a monkey doing pushups, XARM is the brain child of UFC co-creator Art Davie. It's also pronounced "ex-arm," though I admit I've been calling it "zarm" when mocking it to my friends and family. But now they've put together their own heavyweight tournament, premiering today on Ripe TV, complete with several XARM "Boot Camp" episodes. So basically, I'm in no danger of running out of material for mockery.
The idea of XARM is that it combines arm wrestling (which, let's face it, peaked in popularity with "Over the Top") and a really lame, stationary version of MMA. The two men are tied together, sometimes with duct tape, then they punch each other wearing MMA gloves. If that sounds like the stupidest thing you've ever heard, then congratulations, your brain works properly.
In the press release announcing the heavyweight championship, Art Davie calls it "the most intense 3 minutes in sports." Really makes you glad this guy isn't still running the UFC, doesn't it?
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Comments
first Says:
hey it really doesn't look too bad.. its really for entertainment value
i'd like to see machida play this
imjustadudeman Says:
Dumb.
Ray Finkle Says:
The arena football of MMA.
NealTaflinger Says:
Potato, this post is the Three Rivers Stadium of suck - you found the place where mockery, thoughtful social criticism, and implied endorsement meet.
NealTaflinger Says:
OMFG - FLYING XARMBAR!
Old, Bald and Stupified Says:
I think the blond chick summed it up when she said:
"HOLY CRAP"!
I think I just lost a few IQ points watchin' that...
I think I can do this concept one better: Keep their hands duct taped, duct tape pistols to their other hands and let 'em shoot it out. The missed shots that kill people in the audience is not unintentional.
Mescan_Judo Says:
I think I'll pass on this sport.
Armbutt Says:
Over the top; a heartwarming tale of a loner trucker and his quest to win over the affection of his effeminate son.
Brad Says:
You know how I know this is a real sport? They are wearing Under Armour. That's all the proof I need.
Now post lots and send this to the second page so we all forget about it just as fast as we laughed at it.
Anonymous Says:
The two men are tied together, sometimes with duct tape, then they punch each other wearing MMA gloves. If that sounds like the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard, then congratulations, your brain works properly.
...Writing like this is why I continue to read CP!
M@TT Says:
@ NealTaflinger
you took the words right out of my mouth.
up next: X-Triangle Choke???
B Says:
I believe it would be called a Xiangle Choke.
Bad Ruten Says:
Looks like I found the next sport for Kimbo to dominate!
calgary Says:
holy crap....you must be joking??? This is absolutley retarded..what a idiot
B Says:
As an added bonus this cuts out all that gay foreplay on the ground.
dude guy Says:
am i the only one that is reminded of roller derby or something. id rather watch pro wrestling than this.....
WarpedAcorn Says:
This sport will definitely be featured on "The Ocho".
Anonymous Says:
haha zarm, i do feel better about myself, one of the few commment sections w/no arguing everyone agrees so retarded its funny
PenisLuvr Says:
I think a better idea would be to tape their cocks together, and then see who can slap the other the most times with a oily rubber cock. THAT i would watch! Talk about an exciting three minutes!
Anonymous Says:
if you look at it less as a sport and more as big guys PUNCHING EACHOTHER IN THE FUCKING FACE it seems entertaining. It's a real dumb idea but who cares, if survivor can make it as many seasons as it has then I'm sure this will do just fine.
CubicalGangster Says:
someon please ask Dana White what he thinks, and thats probably what i think
richorama Says:
"when i turn my hat around, it's like a switch"
Terjay Says:
Oh hell-fucking-yes :D Get Machida in there.
Green River Says:
Oh...God... This must be the last sign that heralds the end of the world
Brian Says:
Once Sub Zero. Now just plain zero!
LukeTheDuke Says:
LOL ARMBAR.
bun Says:
its entertaining to see what couple of mma rejects would do wen they can't compete
Dru Down Says:
Was this actually sanctioned by a commission, or did they have to resort to holding it in international waters?
Lodz Says:
That was hilarious. I was literally drinking a glass of milk when i was watching that and sprayed milk out my nose all over my keyboard when I saw the over the table armbar.
This has got to be one of the most retarded things in the history of television, a medium which is basically the equivalent to huffing paint.
Over the table armbar guy Says:
Fedor aint shit to me. Come to my x-house clown, and get a schoolin in the deadly arts.
NealTaflinger Says:
As soon as he put on that Under Armour T he knew he had to protect this house.
Hurricane Says:
Kimbo Slice...meet your future
Jay Smith Says:
@ CubicalGangster
Funny as a mufucka!!!!.............and ditto.
MKXii Says:
"Nowhere to run!"
Why do people keep coming at Kalib Starnes? I mean he tried his best.
Dolemite Says:
I can't believe they found more than one guy who thought this was a good idea. WTF?
Anonymous Says:
Anonymous is soooo tru, if this is a real sport this is a joke. Its just insult MMA and making it look bad.. its no better then shots for shots when ur drunk just dumber cause ur not drunk.
... Says:
mma rejects and linemen who couldnt make a practice squad we have found a place on tv for you...
if this lasts more then 1 episode on tv, the human race is doomed...
Derly Says:
Why not just tie them to the table and not tie their hands together? Put an electrice fence behind them, and the only place to go is forward. While you're at it heat the floor below them to a point where it's like walking on hot asphalt during the summer. That will mostly be just uncomfortable for people.
Dolemite Says:
I have an idea they could follow up this with. TWO MEN TRY TO DO PUSH UPS SHILE BEATING THE HELL OUT OF EACH OTHER or TWO MEN TRY TO MAKE HOMEMADE STEW WHILE BEATING THE HELL OUT OF EACH OTHER. Horrible idea.
ballzak Says:
whoever green lit this abomination should be put to death. give them aids and then have a sick kid puke in their mouth...the slower and more painful the better.
Impartial bystander Says:
Just for pure entertainment value, this actually looked kinda cool to me. Obviously no skill involved or anything like that but if I was drinking beer and this was on TV, you bet your ass I'd watch it. I think they should leave any references to MMA out of it though. What can I say, I love watching people beat the living crap out of each other - and I'm betting they're counting on a bunch of people feeling the same way as what I just wrote.
Dolemite Says:
Bunch o pussies! Check dis out!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpgmacdG_yc
Yeah!
AlphaDog Says:
Yup! You beat me to it. Kimbo vs Machida I would love to watch! Make it happen XARM!