regret gifs
15 Moments of Instant Regret [GIFs]

November, 2008

Wanna Be a UFC VIP?

As part of the UFC’s effort to help the Intrepid Fallen Heroes fund, they’re holding an auction to complement the "Fight for the Troops" event on Dec. 10.  Among the items you can bid on is what’s being billed in the video above as a "UFC VIP Experience." 

From the sound of it, you get to choose a fighter you want to hang with (don’t say Tito Ortiz) and the UFC will fly you to an event where he’s fighting, put you up in a hotel, and make you feel like you matter during a dinner with Dana White, Rachelle Leah, and some "UFC greats."  You also get to be part of your fighter’s entourage, which means walking out to the Octagon with him and shouting ‘represent!’ while the camera man motions frantically for you to get out of the shot.

The high bid at the moment is $5,000.  The cause is about as worthy as they come, so if any of you have that kind of coin, we encourage you to go for it.  We also encourage you to go to the strip club and make it rain, because that always sounded like a cool thing to do and we know it, much like this VIP experience, will forever be beyond our grasp.

If the VIP stuff sounds a little out of your league, you can also bid on a copy of the book "Octagon," a limited edition Alligator duffle bag (just cause), or one of the thirty tickets to "Fight for the Troops" that’s being made available to the public.  Or you can just sit at home and do nothing while your life slowly slips away.  Whatever seems more fulfilling.

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Sean Sherk Accurately Sums Up UFC Lightweight Division Title Scenario: “It Just Kind of Sucks”


(Kenny Florian makes the mistake of asking Sherk to help him move.)

Regardless of what you think about Sean Sherk, you have to admit that he’s right on in his description of the UFC’s 155-pound division in a new interview with Sam Caplan.  The last time the lightweight title went up for grabs was in May, when Sherk decided to throw his wrestling out the window and try to kickbox his way to a victory over B.J. Penn.  Turned out to be a bad idea.  

Now here we are, six months later, with new contenders clawing their way up the ladder and the division’s champ focusing on a fight in an entirely different weight class.  That’s fine for Penn, and for the suddenly superfight-happy UFC, but what about the rest of the 155’ers, asks Sherk:

With 155, it’s one of the most stacked weight classes right now and the unfortunate thing is that there is no one at the top of it defending the belt right now. There are a lot of guys fighting their way up to the top trying to get title shots and then once you get up to the top, you’re like, “Okay, so where’s the champion?”

 

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Urijah Faber to Beat Up Jens Pulver Again at WEC 38


(What the hell, let’s do it again.)

Urijah Faber may have to wait a while for Mike Brown to heal up before he can get a crack at reclaiming his featherweight title, but in the meantime he can keep himself sharp with another go at former UFC lightweight champ Jens PulverMMA Weekly says the two will meet again at WEC 38 in San Diego on January 25, though it’s not yet officially signed.  

You might recall that both men fought on the last WEC card, and both lost via TKO.  The difference is that Faber’s loss was a major shock, and most people were generous enough to attribute it to him simply “getting caught” as we say in the business when we want to be nice.  Pulver, on the other hand, got beat down by Leonard Garcia in a fight that seemed to signal that he might be approaching the twilight of his fine career.

It’s not surprising that the WEC would want to run Faber-Pulver II, given the success of the first fight, but there’s also not much reason to think this one will turn out any differently.  Pulver hung in there for five rounds and took a unanimous decision loss in what turned out to be one hell of a fight the first time.  Now Faber has a little more to prove, and Pulver looks even further from his prime.  If he drops his third straight in the 145-pound division, you have to wonder what’s left.

At least the WEC can probably squeeze one more sell-out from this matchup, and hopefully we’ll be treated to another solid fight.

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Kim Couture “Dumbfounded” by Strikeforce Opponent

The Xtreme Couture blog posted this video of Kim Couture training (and looking surprisingly sharp) along with an interview in which they discuss her kind of sad fight against Lina Kvokov.  Sounds like Kim was as weirded out by the whole thing as we were:

K. Couture: "I trained hard and really wanted to show the MMA fans a good show and let them know I was a 100% and ready to fight, I have the utmost respect for anyone who steps into the cage but felt disappointed that she just wouldn’t engage with me and turned her back on me. I was just dumbfounded.”

XC: “Do you think she shouldn’t of been matched up with you?”

K. Couture: “On paper it looked like a good match-up. We both had 1 professional fight with a loss. She was training with Matt Lindlands Team Quest so I expected she would be ready and I was ready for a stand-up brawl.”


XC:
“Did you have a chance to watch the fight yet?”


K. Couture:
“Yes, Lina just looked nervous from the moment she tripped coming out to the cage, she just looked like she didn’t want to fight that night.”

Ouch.  Kim goes on to say she’d like to fight three or four times a year.  Hopefully better opponents lay ahead, since Couture is bound to attract more attention than more experienced/talented female fighters simply because of who her husband is.  That fight did nothing good for the credibility of women’s MMA.  Probably didn’t help Kvokov’s reputation around Team Quest either.  

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New CSAC Director Plans to Fix Broken Drug-Testing Process, And Fast


(He told you he was innocent, but you couldn’t see past his enormous head.)

Under the reign of the now deposed and disgraced former California State Athletic Commission Executive Director Armando Garcia, the state’s drug-testing and appeals process ranged from suspect to entirely screwed up and disorganized.  But the new sheriff in town, Bill Douglas, plans to put an end to those days of comical incompetence.  He started things off with last weekend’s Strikeforce: Destruction event.  By conducting absolutely no testing at all.  

Oh, I get it.  Because that will really throw steroid-users off, right? They’ll think they got away with it, but the guilt will eventually overpower them, forcing them to confess their transgressions to the commission and thus circumventing the need for the costly testing process altogether.  Genius!  Except it turns out that’s not really the plan at all, and it’s more of a brief moratorium while they get their act together:

"I’ve cancelled all drug testing across the board while I revamp the entire process from start to finish," Mr. Douglas wrote in an email. "I expect the new and improved program to roll out next week."

So Lina Kvokov gets away with showing up to fight Kim Couture while obviously high on mushrooms, all because the CSAC finally realized what a mess their system is?  Oh, that’s going to burn Sean Sherk’s ass something fierce.

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Here We Go Again…


(Photo courtesy of Arianny’s official website.  The rest of her Hawaii photos are, shall we say, bikini-tastic.)

While we wait patiently to hear just how many pay-per-views UFC 91 sold and whether it lived up to Dana White’s optimistic prediction of 1.2 million, White is already off and running with his next oversized claim.  This one,  not surprisingly, revolves around UFC 94’s B.J. Penn-Georges St. Pierre superfight:

"I’m just coming off a promotion where I got done saying it’s the biggest fight in UFC history in terms of most pay-per-view buys," White said. "I truly believe this fight has the potential to break that. BJ and Georges are heavyweights when it comes to star power."

Is this what we’re going to do every time now?  Has Dana White become a boxing promoter, calling every fight the biggest fight ever, until the next fight?  I realize he’s talking to a Honolulu paper so he has to say some of this stuff, but words mean things.

MMA Payout sees this as an opportunity for us to find out whether the sport of MMA (two established champions, both pound-for-pound greats, neither of whom have been in the WWE) sells as well as the “spectacle” of MMA (Brock Lesnar against that other guy).  You’d like to say that it does, but then again you’d also like to believe that the cute waitress is being so nice because she actually likes you and not just because she works in the service industry and her kids need new shoes.

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Wanderlei Hits the Monkey Bars


(Wanderlei Silva makes the most of his recess time.  Check out the full gallery from "The Axe Murderer’s" training session at Combat Lifestyle.)

Ricky Hatton’s conditioning coach says "Rampage" Jackson will be in the best shape of his life for UFC 92, but get a look at Wanderlei Silva, who also seems to have upped his game since relocating to Las Vegas.  Could the third meeting between these two old foes be the best one yet?

Well, some of that will depend on whether Rampage decides to fast before the fight or not (personally, I recommend eating food), and whether Silva still has his number in the Thai clinch.  But seeing both these guys revolutionize their training and diet before their third fight just goes to show how far the sport has come in the last few years: from guys known only to hardcore fans, training at obscure gyms, to TMZ-caliber celebrities and world class athletes with the best coaches and playground equipment money can buy.

Rampage had better be training just as hard as Silva is.  Beyond just showing up in good shape, he’ll need some extra help to get over the psychological hurdles if he’s going to beat the man who put him face-first through the ropes four years ago.  Something tells me "The Secret" just ain’t gonna do it.

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Awkward!: Inside MMA Isn’t Afraid to Make Everyone Uncomfortable

I can’t help but wonder whose idea it was to have new WEC featherweight champ Mike Brown on Inside MMA and then ask the panel — which consisted of Brown, Dave "Pee Wee" Herman, and oddsmaker Nick Kalikas — who the best fighter in the WEC is.  You know Brown’s going to say it’s him, and you also know the other two guys are going to want to say it’s Urijah Faber, thus implying that Brown got lucky when he beat Faber for the belt at WEC 36.  And you know that when this happens it will create a palpably uncomfortable situation for everyone.  And yet they do it anyway.

Say what you will, I have no choice but to admire that move.  It’s kind of a mini ethics test, because we’d know if one of them said Brown it would only be because he was sitting a few feet away and not because they really believed it.  But honesty ruled the day, and as usually happens in real life, awkwardness followed with it. 


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Cop at UFC 91 Body Slams Dude First, Asks Questions Later


Security Body Slams Jerk at UFC 91 – Watch more free videos

It just wouldn’t be a night at the fights if someone didn’t get all riled up and start their own action outside the Octagon.  What this guy doesn’t take into account, however, is that the cops at UFC 91 have been watching the same ass-kicking action all night long, and are now just as eager as he is to bash some skulls.  Maybe even a little too eager. 

The slam that comes at around the 0:27 mark may not be a model of technical execution, but it ends with our bewildered troublemaker on his back soaking up spilled beer and wondering how the cops at the MGM Grand got to be so agro, brah.  At least he waited until after the main event to get himself brutalized.

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GSP Eats Housepets to Plug UFC 94 Fight with BJ Penn


(Props: MMA Mania)

As Georges St. Pierre explains in his latest blog post for Yardbarker:

Thursday a.m. I went to a radio show with BJ and they gave me a taste of Hawaiian cuisine. In the beginning when I took my bite — before I swallowed it they told me it was cat. So I right away spit it out because I thought it was true. And then after they told me it was a joke. It was pork — a piece of pork in pasta — it was pretty good.

Quite a good sport, that GSP. Some other highlights from his blog…

— "I was sitting right next to Brock Lesnar’s parents [at UFC 91]. They are very nice guys — I was expecting his parents to be very tall and very big, you know? But they’re normal size — I mean they’re tall, but not as tall as Brock. We had a good talk, and I really had a good time with them."

— "At night we went to the Maple Leafs game. It was very funny because they made me do an announcement on the screen in front of everybody in the Air Canada Center with a Maple Leafs jersey. I said ‘To the Count of Three, I want everybody to get very noisy’. Then the crowd went nuts, they applaud me. When the camera went off me, I sat down and took my jersey off. And when I was taking my jersey off, the camera came back on me and the crowd started booing me because they know I’m from Montreal and I’m a Montreal Canadiens fan. I thought it was very funny."

To read the rest, click here.

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