(Hey, if he can do it to Captain Planet…)

Huge news for followers of competitive grappling — the Abu Dhabi Combat Club has announced that Fedor Emelianenko and DREAM middleweight champ Gegard Mousasi have been confirmed as participants for the 2009 ADCC Submission Wrestling World Championship:

Fedor Emelianenko, after conquering the World of MMA, wants to show the World he is also the best Submission Grappler in the World. Fedor want to make history and expand on the pioneer spirit of what Mark Kerr did in the late 90′s when he was the Champion of Pride and became the weight and Absolute Champion of ADCC and went on to defend his title in the Superfights for 2 editions.

Mousassi, the winner of the 2008 Dream Middleweight Grand Prix where he defeated former World ABJJ Absolute and ADCC middleweight Champion Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza in the final, also wants to test his ground skills against the top names in Submission Grappling. This sets up some humongous possible match-ups such as a re-match with “Jacare” or facing current ADCC Middleweight Champion and rising U.F.C. star Demian Maia.

(This is quickly turning into the “Weekly Bust Urijah Faber’s Balls Contest.” Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle, obvi.)

Between Brock Lesnar’s heavyweight championship win and Jon Fitch’s temporary firing, we probably had more comments posted on CagePotato this week than any other week in our history. I can’t know that for sure because I’m not going to sit here and count them. But you guys are really starting to chime in with your adorable little opinions, and we definitely appreciate it, so keep ‘em coming. Now the question is, who will be getting CP Hall of Fame t-shirts for going above and beyond? Answer:

Patrick on “WWE Gets Its Gloat On”: A little later on in that very same article, WWE.com writers were quoted as saying “also, most UFC fighters wear baggier fitting shorts and are not allowed to slather their hard, toned bodies with vasoline or baby oil, which makes UFC events far more difficult to masturbate to.”

TB on “Lil Fabie’s First Trip to the Strip Club”: Two and a half men

To be honest, that Urijah Faber post produced so much gold it was hard to choose just one standout. (Pat yourselves on the back OB&I, abenormal, and SB.) As for Patrick and TB, please send your address and size to feedback@cagepotato.com and we’ll get those shirts right out to you.

(‘It would be pleasure to hurt hand on your face very much.’)

Fedor Emelianenko broke his silence about his Combat Sambo loss this past weekend, telling Dave Meltzer that it’s no biggie. Sambo’s just something he does for shits and giggles. MMA is what he does for money:

“My Bulgarian opponent wasn’t a surprise,” said Emelianenko through an interpreter. “I always understand there could be the possibility of losing a bout. My opponent was European champion in combat sambo. But for me, sambo is a hobby. I enjoy participating in the sport, but it’s a different sport. It’s a sport scored based on throws and being taken to the ground. That’s happened to me in MMA with [Kazuyuki] Fujita and [Antonio Rodrigo] Nogueira. It’s not my occupation or my work, which is MMA. I think the result would be different under MMA rules.”

It’s not quite ‘Oh, Snap!’ worthy, but in Fedor terms that’s about as close to shit-talking as he usually likes to get. He makes a valid point, though. Sambo isn’t a real fight, and anyway he lost on points. Word has it that he flew in from Thailand not long before the match, and a source who spoke to Fedor at the actual event tells Cage Potato that the Russian doesn’t really seem too excited about Sambo these days, and may be doing it more out of patriotic obligation than anything else.

In other words, don’t get your hopes up, Andrei Arlovski. Fedor hasn’t fallen off just yet.

(When this man talks, you listen. Occasionally you even understand.)

I called The Ultimate Fighter’s Al “Stankie” Stankiewicz for an interview and ended up getting a motivational speech. He can’t help it. That’s just what he does. As Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira’s eccentric old boxing coach, “Stankie” caught our eye early on this season with his antics, and as rumors filtered out about things he did off camera, we knew this was someone we wanted to talk to. Turns out the rumors are all true, but they don’t begin to tell the whole story.

We talked with “Stankie” recently to find out who he is and how he came to be standing next to Big Nog, going on semi-coherent rants about sardines. What we learned is that from working undercover during the Watts Riots, to training Oscar de la Hoya for the Olympics, here is a man who has lead an interesting life. And he was more than happy to tell us about it, in his own roundabout way.

CagePotato.com: Thanks for talking with us “Stankie.” I’ve read some about your background, but is it true that you were a cop in Los Angeles before becoming a boxer?

I joined the department in August of 1962. I came from back east, I went to college at Gannon University in Erie, Pennsylvania. I came out to California just to see the California girls and to surf. What happened was, it was so beautiful I fell in love with it. It was October and there was Rafer Johnson, the decathlon champion, playing volleyball with Wilt Chamberlain down in Santa Monica. I called home and talked to my sister and told her about seeing these two superstars on the beach playing volleyball, and she knew what a jock I was and how big that was for me. And she said, “Al, it’s twenty degrees below zero here and we’re having a blizzard.” That’s the point where I told her, “Sis, I love you, but I’m never coming back.”

I got a job selling shoes at first. I was twenty years old. I fell in love with almost every girl who came into the place. It was 1962 and jobs were kind of scarce. There was this big advertisement that said, “Join the LAPD! Be part of the thin blue line! $650 a month.” And in 1962, that was big money. So I went down to city hall and took the test. For the psych test there was a Rorschach ink blot test. I had gone to college and written a paper on that thing, so I knew what to say. If you looked at it and said you saw two dogs fucking underneath a tree with blood all over it, you know, you’d be in trouble. So I got through and suddenly I was a cop.

(“Well, it was nice knowing you.” Photo courtesy of M-1 MixFight; props to BloodyElbow for the heads-up.)

M-1 is holding an M-1 Challenge event today in St. Petersburg, Russia, with Team Russia Red Devil taking on Team Korea, and Team Russia Legion facing Team Holland; the full lineup is here. Headlining the team competition will be two “superfights” that reflect the card’s nation vs. nation theme. The Legion/Holland main event will be 1-1 rookie Alexander Timanov vs. Dutch bad-boy Gilbert Yvel, while the Red Devil/Korea feature will be none other than Alexander Emelianenko vs. Spirit MC/DEEP/M-1 vet Sang Soo Lee (10-4). Soo has won four of his five fights this year, including a submission victory over Emelianenko’s Red Devil clubmate Roman Zentsov. The Korean fighter may be a step up in competition from Aleks’s last opponent, but we still think The Grim Reaper should be able to take this one relatively easily. More photos from yesterday’s weigh-ins are after the jump, courtesy of M1MixFight.com.

(UPDATE: Are you also not getting sound on this crappy video embed? Then watch the episode here.)

Props to CagePotato reader Jeremy T. for giving us the heads up on the new episode of ESPN.com’s MMA Live, in which host Jon Anik credits CagePotato.com’s reporting regarding Paulo Filho’s release from his Zuffa contract. (The shout-out happens at the -20:54 mark.) First ESPN.com…next, THE-WORLD.COM.

Elsewhere in the episode, Anik, Kenny Florian, Stephan Bonnar, and Franklin McNeil discuss Brock Lesnar‘s recent achievement in the Octagon and his future prospects in the UFC, Ken-Flo gives his full analysis of his win over Joe Stevenson, and the gang runs down tonight’s Strikeforce card. Bonnar’s delivery is still a little shaky, but he’s trying, and trying used to count for something.

Speaking of ESPN, the network’s Spanish-language arm ESPN Deportes will be broadcasting the Bellator Fighting Championships, a new MMA league that will debut in April 2009. Twelve two-hour episodes will air on Saturday nights, featuring tournaments in the featherweight, lightweight, welterweight, and middleweight divisions. Rumored participants include Paulo Filho, Hector Lombard, Eddie Alvarez, and Jorge Masvidal.

(Guess who’s back?)

Well that didn’t take long. Jon Fitch is once again a UFC fighter, and will still fight Akihiro Gono at UFC 94, as planned. Apparently all it took was a conversation with Lorenzo Fertitta. MMA Rated has the scoop:

“Communication kind of broke down with Dana (White) so we talked with Lorenzo,” Fitch told MMARated. “(I) just got off the phone with him and we came to an agreement. We’re going to move ahead and I’ll be back in the UFC. We’re going to sign off on the video game and I’m back. It was never even about the agreement or the contract. It was the approach that we felt Dana was being a little bit hot-headed and was threatening us right off the bat. It didn’t seem like a professional way of doing things.”

Cooler heads, as they say, have prevailed. Should the ease with which this was resolved once Fitch and his management team were able to speak with someone who wasn’t Dana White perhaps tell us something? Threatening, bullying, saying things in the media such as “[Expletive] them. All of them, every last [expletive] one of them,” maybe that’s the kind of thing that doesn’t help negotiations with one’s employees, who one claims to want to be “partners” with. Thankfully Lorenzo Fertitta is on board to smooth things over.

Now you have to wonder, what lesson will Dana White take from this? Fitch did sign the contract. The UFC got what they wanted. Will White now be convinced that he can get what he wants if he plays good cop, bad cop with Lorenzo? Or will he see that sometimes talking things over is preferable to flying off the handle? Let’s hope it’s the latter. Right now Lorenzo is looking like Michael Corleone and Dana is looking like Sonny. And we all remember what happened to Sonny.

(Saralime, you have my vote.)

This is a tough one, Potato Nation. Fight! Magazine has narrowed down the finalists in their Fight! Girl of 2008 search, a Herculean feat in itself. Just imagine all the submissions, the photos, the ‘I love to laugh’ type personal statements they had to sort through to get to this point. But they’ve done it, God bless ‘em, and what they ended up with is twelve women in various states of undress vying for the coveted title and a pictorial spread in the magazine. Now they have to pick a winner.

That’s where you come in. You, with your impeccable taste in women, particularly two-dimensional women staring at you with come-hither eyes. It’s like your whole adult/adolescent life has been preparation for this moment. All you have to do is head over to the Fight! Girls page and make your pick.

Personally, I voted for Saralime up there. I’m not sure that’s even a real name, or if it’s supposed to be two words or what. But when you look like that, does it really matter? Your name could be Stapler and no one would care. Feel free to make your choice and then come back and tell me what an idiot I am. But if you choose Jaimie just because she’s wearing boxing gloves, well, you’re a sucker.

(“Screw it, nobody’s watching anyway.”)

I know, I know, you’re all antsy to learn how many pay-per-view buys UFC 91 took in, and whether Dana White’s estimate of 1.2 million was either strongly optimistic or batshit delusional. You’ll have to be patient, because numbers from UFC 90 are just coming out now — and they aren’t too encouraging. Says the Wrestling Observer Newsletter:

The trending patterns as a prediction of the buy rate continued to be right on as the 10/25 show in Chicago headlined by Anderson Silva vs. Patrick Cote did 300,000 buys.

Silva has never been a big main-event draw, PPV-wise. His headlining appearances at UFC 82, 77, and 67 all translated to buys in the 330,000-350,000 range. But in the run-up to last month’s Chicago show, the UFC had been trying extra hard to push him over as a fan-favorite, frequently repeating the talking point that UFC 90 was your chance to see the world’s greatest pound-for-pound fighter in action. The Spike TV special Countdown to UFC 90 brought in a record number of viewers, which was seen as a great sign for the event’s performance on pay-per-view, though MMA Payout points out that the strong viewership could have been due to having a high-rated TNA wrestling show as a lead in.

(John Polakowski has the best bro-clinch in the game.)

In this week of The Ultimate Fighter it was the last fight before the semi-finals. We are getting down to the wire. The two guys who are fighting, John Polakowski and George Roop, are both real good friends of mine. Me and George go way back since the Arizona days; John is just a guy I met in the house but how can you not like him? He just loves life. Him and his hugs, and you gotta love his saying “FIRE THE CANNONS!!!!”

Before the fight everyone is expecting a prank but who would do it to which guy first? They decided to pull the prank on John and his Lucky Charms. That was a mistake!! I thought it was hilarious due to the fact that they took the time to remove every marshmallow from the box. After all, they are the best part. John was pissed. He announced no more hugs for the blue team — he means business. He is like a man possessed. During training I’d been working with John on his wrestling. I know George has some good ground game so I wanted to help out my teammate.

During George’s training with Team Mir, he got his hand caught up in the cage and it was fucked up. It looked like a surgical balloon had been blown up. George is a tough dude so I knew he would be out there anyway. I thought this would give a definite advantage to John. Closer to fight time John started to become his old self again, and decided that he and George would hug before the fight. This was hilarious — I personally wouldnt be able to do that, especially with the guy standing in the way of a six-figure contract to the UFC. But hey, that’s John for you.

(Not so fun while it lasted.)

Josh “Heavy” Hendricks has one thing going for him: he doesn’t have to worry about anyone putting him in a video game. His knockout loss to Gabriel Gonzaga was enough to get him bounced from the UFC after only one fight. Granted, he did not look like he was up to the level of competition in the UFC. Gonzaga absolutely dominated him in his brief few minutes in the Octagon, before knocking him out and then punching him again while Steve Mazzagatti was busy sorting out his tax deductions in his head.

But at the same time, making your UFC debut against a guy like Gonzaga is a tough way to start and finish. It’s kind of like being brought up to the majors for one at-bat to face a pitcher who almost made the All-Star team last year. You strike out on three pitches, no one in the clubhouse says a word to you, and the next day you catch a Greyhound back to Rancho Cucamonga to play for the Quakes again. And yes, that type of thing has been known to happen in baseball, so this isn’t a case of the UFC being uncommonly dickish. It’s just another one of the normal dickish things that happens in pro sports.

Best of luck in your future endeavors, Hendricks. At least now you’ll have plenty of time to pound out that screenplay you’ve always wanted to write about the aliens that come to earth to intervene in the Revolutionary War. Can’t wait to read it.

(Woody Guthrie would be so disappointed in you, Mike.)

As the UFC’s scorched earth policy toward AKA and its fighters unfolds, it’s looking like not everyone in the stable is getting cut. In an interview with USA Today, Dana White claims that Mike Swick was the only AKA fighter to call and say, essentially, he’ll do anything Dana wants:

The only fighter that called me from AKA was Mike Swick. Mike Swick called me from AKA, that was it. And Mike Swick said, “Listen, I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t care what’s going on. I’m with you, I’m in business with you guys. You guys are my partners.” And I said, “I appreciate that, Mike. We look at you the same way.”

(Photos courtesy of CombatLifestyle. For more from this ridiculous set, click here.)

(Photo courtesy of ryanmcfadden.com)

Yeah, about that Fitch/Gono fight: It’s not going to happen because Jon Fitch, the UFC’s former #1 welterweight contender, and one of only three fighters to ever achieve eight consecutive wins inside the Octagon (the other two being Royce Gracie and Anderson Silva), has been fired. MMA Mania breaks it:

Jon Fitch was today handed his walking papers for refusing to sign an agreement that would give the promotion exclusive lifetime video game rights to his name and likeness…

Christian Wellisch — who also didn’t ink the paperwork — was also released. Others who do not sign the agreement could also be let go in the future…

Fitch was apparently approached about the issue when he turned in his signed bout agreement to fight Akihiro Gono at UFC 94: “St. Pierre vs. Penn 2? on January 31. And when he and his representatives attempted to negotiate the video game deal it was all or nothing. He didn’t sign it and was terminated shortly therefafter.

Give us the exclusive right to use you in video games forever, or you’re fired. Let that sink in for a moment. Wellisch may not have been going anywhere in the UFC’s heavyweight division, but Fitch is a top-five welterweight — an enormous asset for any MMA organization — and to drop him over something so ultimately trivial is pure insanity.

Kevin Iole adds that Dana White no longer wants to work with American Kickboxing Academy fighters or anyone represented by DeWayne Zinkin and Bob Cook, which includes Josh Koscheck and Cain Velasquez:

“We’re looking for guys who want to work with us and not against us, and frankly I’m just so [expletive] sick of this [expletive] it’s not even funny,” White said from Honolulu, where he flew Wednesday from Toronto to hold a news conference to announce the B.J. Penn-Georges St. Pierre fight for UFC 94 on Jan. 31 in Las Vegas.

“Affliction is still out there trying to build its company. Let [Fitch] go work with them. Let him see what he thinks of those [expletives]. [Expletive] him. These guys aren’t partners with us. [Expletive] them. All of them, every last [expletive] one of them.”

(Spoooooky.)

No, it’s not another revelation about the criminal activities of Affliction’s owners or the fight card they’re still trying to put together, this one is related to the business the company actually makes a profit from: overpriced clothing. Reader Forrest Knighton clued us into a story from Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, where a Catholic woman has successfully gotten an Affliction shirt pulled from Nordstrom for being offensive to her religious beliefs.

The shirt is similar to a painting of Mary holding baby Jesus (for you non-religious types, that’s the one Ricky Bobby prays to), only in true Affliction style Mary’s face is replaced by — what else — a skull. This, said area shopper and busybody Judy Carbo, “hurt [her] heart.” She continued with this completely ineffective analogy:

“If you were Jewish, you wouldn’t want to see a swastika on a shirt. If you were African-American, you wouldn’t want to see anything desecrating you.”

Comparing a stupid t-shirt that replaces Mary’s face with a skull to symbols of the Third Reich? Classy.

Now don’t get me wrong, I find Affliction’s shirts offensive, too. But that’s because they’re ugly in a ‘when in doubt, use skulls’ kind of way and they cost five times what they ought to. But if they can’t sell idiotic shirts at idiotic prices, how is Fedor supposed to get paid? And what about Tim Sylvia? Who but Affliction would pay him $800,000 for thirty-six seconds worth of work? Think it through, Judy.

(When Jon Fitch says he’s going to wear your ass like a hat, it’s not a threat — it’s a guarantee.)

According to a report on MMA Mania, Jon Fitch will begin his road back to title contention with a fight against Akihiro Gono at UFC 94 (January 31st, Las Vegas). Fitch, who most recently dropped a unanimous decision to welterweight champ Georges St. Pierre at UFC 87 in August, was previously scheduled to face Gono in March, but a hand injury forced “The Japanese Sensation” to drop out of the match; Gono went on to lose a decision to Dan Hardy at last month’s UFC 89. The UFC’s Super Bowl weekend card will be headlined by Fitch’s old nemesis GSP facing BJ Penn, as well as Lyoto Machida vs. Thiago Silva.

In other UFC news…

— Apparently back-to-back losses were enough to get Marcus Aurelio‘s contract shredded. Five Ounces of Pain reports that the American Top Team fighter has been let go following unanimous decision defeats at the hands of Tyson Griffin (at UFC 86) and Hermes Franca (at UFC 90). Though Aurelio has had an impressive career and holds victories over Takanori Gomi, Masakazu Imanari, and Rich Clementi, he leaves the Octagon with a 2-3 UFC record.

(Props: Yardbarker.com)

Holy crap, you guys. Here’s the first trailer for Never Surrender, which stars Georges St. Pierre, Anderson Silva, BJ Penn, Heath Herring, and Quinton Jackson. Judging from the preview, the movie seems to be about UFC stars kicking people. But according to the plot summary on IMDb, there’s more to it than that:

Never Surrender is an erotically charged [Ed. note: seriously?], controversial action-thriller set in the world of underground street fighting where an MMA fighter who has been drawn into the world by an erotic [Ed. note: there's that word again!] and sexy promoter, quickly realizes that there is no way out, other than death.

Erotic and sexy, huh? Might this mysterious promoter be based on Gary Shaw, perhaps? Never Surrender is written and directed by Hector Echavarria, and will hit theaters in the Spring. Someday a smart filmmaker will make a good movie about above-ground street fighting, but for now this will have to do.

After the jump: A new promo for WEC 37, where Frank Mir talks about what a beast Miguel Torres is. The clip they show at 0:39-0:42 is just one of the reasons that Torres’s most recent fight against Yoshiro Maeda was immediately hailed as a fight-of-the-year candidate.

(It’s creepy how his eyes just follow you.)

One of the few people to beat Brock Lesnar in his college wrestling days was New England Patriots guard Stephen Neal (seen above), who beat the new UFC heavyweight champ 3-2 back in 1999. In today’s Boston Herald, both men look back on the match and the different paths they’ve taken since then. Though Neal is an NFL offensive lineman now, he never played football in college. He was just a big, strong, athletic freak who somebody saw a lot of potential in. Kind of reminds you of someone else.

At the time of their meeting in the NCAA tourney, Neal was the defending champ and future World Champ. Lesnar was a bit of an underdog, to hear him tell it:

“I literally had about three months of wrestling at the Div. 1 level and the next thing I knew I was the Big Ten champ in the NCAA finals against returning national champion Stephen Neal,” Lesnar said. “I didn’t even know what was going on until it was over. It was a whirlwind. I didn’t have time to be scared or nervous. I just figured, ‘Well, I’m beating everyone else, I don’t know why I can’t beat this guy.’ But I came up a little short.”

Both men remember the match well. Lesnar powered out of Neal’s early single-leg attempt before shooting for a double-leg takedown of his own. Neal spun deftly away for the two-point reversal and it was game on.

“I think I surprised him a little when he attempted that takedown and was unsuccessful,” Lesnar said. “I had overpowered him and muscled my way out of it.”

Am I the only one who thinks “muscled my way out of it” has been something of a mantra for Brock Lesnar over the course of his life? You can’t argue with the results, I suppose.

Do you know what today is? Yes, it’s Wednesday, November 19. But in the history books it will be remembered as the premiere of the XARM Heavyweight Championship. Finally!!!

For those of you who missed our earlier mention of XARM, where we appropriately grouped it with dudes breaking things and a monkey doing pushups, XARM is the brain child of UFC co-creator Art Davie. It’s also pronounced “ex-arm,” though I admit I’ve been calling it “zarm” when mocking it to my friends and family. But now they’ve put together their own heavyweight tournament, premiering today on Ripe TV, complete with several XARM “Boot Camp” episodes. So basically, I’m in no danger of running out of material for mockery.

The idea of XARM is that it combines arm wrestling (which, let’s face it, peaked in popularity with “Over the Top”) and a really lame, stationary version of MMA. The two men are tied together, sometimes with duct tape, then they punch each other wearing MMA gloves. If that sounds like the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard, then congratulations, your brain works properly.

In the press release announcing the heavyweight championship, Art Davie calls it “the most intense 3 minutes in sports.” Really makes you glad this guy isn’t still running the UFC, doesn’t it?

(Courtesy of billyjoemaclellan via Fight Opinion)

Near the end of yesterday’s raucous Georges St. Pierre/BJ Penn/Dana White press conference in Toronto — directly after a young boy asks GSP if he’s scared he’ll lose his belt — an audience member asks Dana White if he plans to install a women’s division in the UFC. White has spoken before about his contention that there aren’t enough talented female fighters to create a women’s division in the UFC, and he restated his feelings yesterday, but the second part of his answer (starting at the vid’s 2:08 mark) was pretty interesting:

“Gina Carano is a star. I think she’s talented, I think she’s got all the tools, so what I’m willing to do is bring Gina into the WEC. And we could do fights whenever there’s a challenger for Gina. ["Cyborg!" shouts an audience member.] Obviously. So I think that’s how I’ll test the waters and see how it goes.”

Hey, one-offs are better than nothing. It’s great to see that there’s at least one venue open for Carano to compete in, and with Crush on the roster, the WEC can continue to pursue its goal of putting on a pay-per-view event, which took a minor step backward after poster-boy Urijah Faber lost his title to Mike Brown. Once Dana White sees how quickly Gina takes over as the WEC’s biggest draw, a proper women’s division can’t be far behind.

(Photo courtesy of ESPN.)

M-1 Vice President Jerry Millen released a lengthy statement to the media last night congratulating Randy Couture for his return to competition as well as Brock Lesnar for his UFC heavyweight championship win, while lambasting the UFC for marketing their fighters as the best in the world — when clearly it’s M-1′s own fighter, Fedor Emelianenko, who should hold that distinction. And there’s no secret who Fedor wants to take on next to prove it:

Couture and WAMMA heavyweight champion Fedor Emelianenko had publicly acknowledged a desire to fight each other multiple times over the course of the past year. While M-1 and Fedor remain interested in a match against Couture, we would also like to publicly state for the record that we would welcome a superfight between Fedor and Lesnar that would be held as a co-promoted event between the UFC, M-1, and Affliction Entertainment.

We’ve invited the media to speak with us today to not only make it clear we would welcome a Fedor vs. Lesnar matchup, but to act in a preemptive fashion to address the possibility that UFC officials will try and position Lesnar as the number one heavyweight in the world, much like they have tried to use a marketing ploy to brand Anderson Silva as the number one pound-for-pound fighter in the world.

In the past, UFC president Dana White and Zuffa, LLC CEO Lorenzo Fertitta have tried to claim that Fedor was “overrated” and that his “record was irrelevant.” They make these claims in spite of the fact that Fedor holds career victories over UFC champions past and present. While we have tremendous respect for the contributions Mr. Fertitta and Dana have made to this sport, we do not believe they are sincere in their statements.

(He’s wearing a hockey jersey! What more do Canadians want?)

So you thought you could keep the UFC out forever, eh, Toronto? You and the whole province of Ontario, just hanging out, watching hockey and that bullshit Canadian football, thinking you’re safe from MMA just because it’s technically illegal there. Well there’s one thing you didn’t plan on: Dana fucking White. And now he’s coming for you, and he won’t take no for an answer:

“I’m going after Canada after (I get approval in) New York and Massachusetts. I’m attacking Canada. I’m going to spend so much time in Canada I’ll have to buy a house. I’m going to live here until it’s done. I’m going to be sitting on the porch every day they come to work.”

You see what you’ve done, Toronto? You’ve forced Dana White to start stalking you. It’s like you’re Heather Locklear and White is me circa 1995. What can I say, it was a phase. Then she got old and starting appreciating the attention and I moved on with my life. It’s a whole thing I’d rather not get into. The point is, Toronto, I doubt you’ll be so lucky.

As much as Canadians seem to love MMA, it’s hard to understand the resistance to it at this point. But I guess you could say the same thing for New York. Eventually they’ll all give in, and they know it, so why not just quit stop screwing around and accept it. Unless this is all an elaborate ploy to see if Dana White will really buy that house. And he will. But damn, is the real estate market that bad even in Canada?

(Photo courtesy of Si.com)

Now that this crazy weekend of MMA action is in the books, it’s time to sort through the rubble of UFC 91 and figure out who’s up and who’s down. And how will we do that? Arbitrary numbers, baby. It’s the only way.

Brock Lesnar +482

The line of reasoning that says he’s too inexperienced to be deserving of a title shot simply doesn’t hold up after he wins by second-round stoppage. Even if you don’t think he beat the best Couture we’ve ever seen in the Octagon, he still looked positively terrifying in there. This guy can give lots of heavyweights lots of problems, particularly if he continues to improve. And if you’re one of the millions who hate him, well, you’re just playing right into his enormous hands.

Randy Couture -130

Maybe it was age that was Couture’s undoing. Maybe it was size and strength. Regardless, it’s hard to see how he will ever capture another UFC title. A fight against the loser of the Nogueira-Mir match would still be compelling, but time is running out. And fast.

Kenny Florian +274

He dismantled Joe Stevenson much the same way B.J. Penn did, if not more impressively. So why doesn’t Penn seem at all interested in fighting him? Whatever happens in Penn’s superfight with GSP, no lightweight has earned a title shot more than KenFlo and waited so long and so patiently for it. Come on, B.J. Let’s do eet!

(Miguel Torres: Fierce. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

The official lineup for the WEC’s 37th event (December 3rd; Las Vegas; live on Versus at 8 p.m. ET / 5 p.m. PT) has been released, with three of the four main-card fights taking place in the bantamweight division. Headlining the card will be top-ten pound-for-pounder Miguel Torres (34-1) defending his 135-pound strap against the undefeated Manny Tapia (10-0-1), who was originally supposed to challenge for Torres’s title in June until a knee injury forced him to pull out of the match; Tapia hasn’t competed since February.

The sole non-bantamweight match on WEC 37′s main card is a highly anticipated 145-pound meeting between former IFL champ Wagnney Fabiano (#4-ranked featherweight) and former Shooto lightweight champ Akitoshi Tamura (#7-ranked featherweight). The card also features Brian Bowles, Mark Munoz, Bart Palaszewski, Alex Karalexis, and Cub Swanson. Not bad for a Wednesday night. After the jump: WEC 37′s full card, plus video of Miguel Torres absolutely wasting Alex Khanbabian at Ironheart Crown 8 in November 2004.

(Props: Bloody Elbow)

Here’s a short preview clip of Virtual Mike and Joe discussing Brock Lesnar in the upcoming UFC 2009 Undisputed video game. For more sample clips of Lesnar, click here. A promo video for UFC 93: Franklin vs. Henderson is below, and grainy, hand-held footage of Fedor Emelianenko’s Sambo loss to Blagoi Ivanov awaits you after the jump.

(Props: Fightlinker)

Paulo Filho‘s manager, Ed Soares, confirmed to us today that the WEC middleweight champ will not be making the move to the UFC when the WEC 185-pound class is absorbed into the big show. Though it’s hardly a surprise after Filho’s bizarre performance against Chael Sonnen at WEC 36, the news comes as a big hit to the Brazilian’s future plans and at the end of a tumultuous year. Said Soares:

"It’s true. We’ve recevied paperwork that they’re releasing him from his contract. The WEC’s been great throughout everything, but it’s understandable. He’s had a rough year. We have faith that he’ll be back.

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(Let’s try this again, “Ace”, this time with a little enthusiasm.)

Despite the fact that UFC 93 and 95 are taking place in Dublin and London respectively, they will not air for free on Spike TV, reports MMA Rated. Does that mean you’re going to have to pay more of your rapidly dwindling cash to see an event that goes live in the middle of the afternoon? Either that or wait until the videos hit the internet, and for some reason it’s considered “troubling behavior” for me to drink in front of my computer at ten o’clock on a Sunday morning, even though it’s perfectly acceptable to do it in front of the TV on a Saturday. I blame this Puritanical society.

The explanation for why this is happening centers around Spike TV’s production budget. Broadcasting these overseas events is costly, and since both UFC 93 and 95 take place within the first two months of 2009, that would mean blowing a big portion of their budget in the first quarter. This, my friends, is a side effect of the UFC going global.

So now we’re looking at three pay-per-views in the first sixty days of the new year from the UFC, plus another one on January 24 from Affliction. I don’t know what your disposable income looks like these days, but it sure seems like someone’s got to lose in this scenario. Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that you could only afford two of these events without being forced to make extra money by letting your creepy neighbor install that webcam he keeps talking about. What’s it gonna be: Fedor-Arlovski (Affliction), Franklin-Henderson (UFC 93, with a side order of Coleman-Rua), Penn-St. Pierre (UFC 94), or Liddell-Silva (UFC 95, hopefully)? As a bonus question, how important will the undercards of said events be in your decision-making?

(Click the image for the press conference video. Image courtesy of MMA Mania.)

In advance of a pair of publicity appearances in Toronto (today at the Scotiabank Theatre) and Honolulu (Friday at the Waikiki Shell), Dana White, BJ Penn, and Georges St. Pierre held a press conference in Las Vegas to begin spreading the word about the Penn/St. Pierre superfight at UFC 94 (January 31st, Las Vegas). MMA Weekly has footage of the press conference here.

As you’ll see, the vibe between the fighters is very respectful, with neither man harping on the result of their first meeting in 2006, where St. Pierre got his hand raised in a split decision but was clearly worse for the wear. For both Penn and St. Pierre, this fight is strictly about cementing a legacy, and determining who is really the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world. (I guess Anderson Silva is chopped liver?)

Penn still plans on defending both belts if he takes the welterweight strap from GSP, but he has no idea how often he would defend each title. He also credits the small-man-beats-big-man theory of Brazilian jiu-jitsu for his desire to challenge larger opponents, though Dana White puts his foot down at the idea of a Penn/Anderson Silva superfight. Anyway, the opening remarks are in the can — expect more heated debate in the future.

(“It was a big, white, semi-truck. The license plate was JACKLINKS.”)

“The ref [Mario Yamasaki] was going, ‘Eh, is [Couture] OK?’ Mario was trying to give him time [to recover]. There’s a fine line between that and [allowing] too many punches. When I saw Randy go back down, I thought we had crossed that line.” — Dana White on the stoppage in UFC 91′s Lesnar/Couture fight, which some questioned as dangerously late.

“He came in a couple days ago and I introduced him to Manny and the other trainers. We picked out a time…and he’s gonna come in and start training with me. I hear he’s a great striker and I hope we can help him improve even more.” — Beloved boxing trainer Freddie Roach on his new protege, Anderson Silva.

“I’d fight him. The thing about a Machida fight that isn’t appealing to me is that stylistically, Machida is kind of a boring fighter. That’s not a putdown. He’s very, very effective. He’s good at what he does. He’s constantly backing away and forces his opponent into mistakes, and that’s how he catches you. In order to beat him, you really have to fight an intelligent fight, and I think that by not overcommitting yourself on things, it’s going to create a situation where you’re not putting on a fight that’s really exciting for the fans.” — Rich Franklin stating the obvious regarding a potential rematch with Lyoto Machida. Machida gave Franklin his first career loss via TKO at the Inoki Bom-Ba-Ye Festival in 2003.

(Couldn’t have done it without you, big guy.)

As much as it looked like it might never happen at times, Affliction: Day of Reckoning is going on sale this week. The online presale started today and tickets officially go on sale Wednesday for the January 24 event. They’ve even added more fights than just the Fedor Emelianenko-Andrei Arlvoski bout in some crazy attempt to entice people by telling them what they’re actually paying for.

According to Affliction’s website, here’s what the card is looking like so far:

Main Card (pay-per-view)
Fedor Emelianenko vs. Andrei Arlovski
Josh Barnett vs. TBA
Vitor Belfort vs. TBA
Renato Sobral vs. Matt Lindland
Chris Horodecki vs. Dan Lauzon