(Taking a breather, messing with a footlock. No biggie.)

It’s that time again. Volume two in our “Ask the Potato” series. So, for those of you who asked whether this was an ongoing series, consider your question answered. Try to come up with something a little more thought-provoking next time. Go here if you’ve got a question that just can’t wait.

When are we going to find out about Paulo Filho‘s toxicology report, and how soon do you see the California Kid getting his rematch? Is he going to have to climb the ladder, or would the rematch be immediate? — Faderade

I once drove a forklift on the loading docks of a small, non-union trucking company. Many idiots worked there. One day one of these idiots inexplicably drove his forklift directly into a stack of riding lawnmowers, causing several thousand dollars worth of damage. They drug-tested that guy the same day. He did not pass. For some odd reason, Filho’s performance at WEC 36 reminded me of that guy.

When I picture the urine sample Filho submitted to the Florida Commission, I imagine it smoking and bubbling like the secret potion in a monster movie. Just handling the sample could probably cause a woman to miscarry, even if she wasn’t pregnant.

But that’s just speculation on my part. Maybe Filho wasn’t on drugs. Maybe he was off them, and that’s the explanation. You can usually expect to find out if someone tested positive within a month of the event. We’re waiting. Anxiously. As for Urijah Faber, he’ll get that rematch just as soon as Brown is healthy. He’s earned it, and it’s the only fight for the WEC at 145 that’s a guaranteed draw at this point.

What does it mean if Brock Lesnar wins? — Maxwell

In this edition of Dana White‘s video blog he prepares for UFC 91 by going to the THQ headquarters to get a look at the upcoming “UFC 2009: Undisputed” video game. Does it look totally sweet? It does. The designers attempt to explain some of their revolutionary methods in creating this game, but Dana doesn’t care. He just wants to play as Brock Lesnar. And if you’re going to try and tell me that the THQ dudes didn’t let him win, don’t bother.

This video blog also has the strangest ending we’ve seen yet. After Dana gets done swearing his way through an interview with the Wall Street Journal, he responds to a critic on YouTube who wondered why a rich guy like the UFC prez would listen to music on regular earphones like the rest of us plebes. Well, problem solved, because now he’s got the Dr. Dre Beats headphones, bitch! You happy now?! Well, probably not, no.

Seriously, is Dana White going through and reading the YouTube comments on his video blogs? Because that is not the best use of his time.

(Jason Lambert, post-mastectomy. Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

In addition to the 5,500 jobs that automaker GM cut last week, struggling light-heavyweight-turned-middleweight Jason Lambert has also joined the growing ranks of the unemployed in America. FiveOuncesofPain confirms that The Punisher — who had been knocked out twice and choked out once in his last three Octagon appearances — has been officially cut by the UFC.

Lambert began his UFC career on an impressive 4-1 tear, earning stoppage wins over Rob MacDonald (at his UFC debut in March 2006), Terry Martin, and Branden Lee Hinkle, and scoring an upset knockout of Renato Sobral at UFC 68; his sole loss during that time came via TKO at the fists of Rashad Evans. But then things started to go south. His occasionally lazy boxing got him smoked by Wilson Gouveia at UFC 80, and again by Luis Cane at UFC 85. Most recently, he made his middleweight debut at UFC 88 in September and succumbed to a rear-naked choke from Jason MacDonald.

Tough break, but that’s what happens when you drop three straight (unless you’re Houston Alexander, of course). We’re guessing that Josh Burkman will be getting his walking papers next; the People’s Warrior has been defeated consecutively by Mike Swick, Dustin Hazelett, and Pete Sell, and is now out-of-action indefinitely with a back injury.

(Photo courtesy of gspmma.wordpress.com.)

From Georges St. Pierre‘s latest blog entry for Yardbarker.com:

Before going to Brazil, I had a call from one of my friends who told me that Denis Kang won his fight against Marvin Eastman by TKO in the first minute of the fight. It made me a feel good because it brings a good vibe to the team, and like Tseng Tsu says in the Art of War, battles are won by momentum. I’m also very happy because I also learned he’ll soon be fighting in the UFC, so for the first time since we started training together, we’ll be able to fight in the same organization.

I flew to Brazil Sunday night, and after a long flight I got into Rio de Janeiro. But after the flight I was very tired because I cannot sleep on the plane, so I had to take the morning off from training to take a nap of a couple of hours. I started my training Monday night after my nap, and I quickly found out that even though I just earned my black belt in BJJ, there are still a lot of guys better than me in this sport at Gracie Barra Academy. I got tapped so many times during my training there and I learned so many new tools that just for that alone, this trip was worth it. I met a bunch of new training partners and good friends as well in Brazil. My friend Cleo from Montreal went with me and was teaching a wrestling class during the day where were training a lot of takedowns and takedown defense, plus MMA sparring as well. At night I was also doing BJJ with the gi to improve my ground skill and knowledge.

During the week, one of the valets at the hotel was very nice with me it was nice to meet someone who spoke French very well. Every time a pretty woman was passing by him, he was making a comment in French about how beautiful and sexy she was…

I think there’s also a section in The Art of War about casually mentioning that you got “tapped so many times” in training in order to bait your enemy into going to the ground with you. Don’t fall for it, BJ! To read the rest of GSP’s post, click here. Unfortunately, Rush never mentions if the valet’s obscene French catcalls successfully got him laid.

(‘Fuck you, pay me.’)

When we looked at the payouts for WEC 36 and saw $14,000 next to Urijah Faber‘s name, we had little choice but to assume that Zuffa was screwing him like a one-legged Panamanian hooker: cheaply and with shocking disregard for his delicate feelings.

But Faber’s manager, Mike Roberts, says that figure was “not even close” to a full accounting of what Faber was paid to face Mike Brown:

“That was an accurate statement of the check he received that night. Some contractual issues came up after the September fight was postponed and that $14,000 was the remaining balance of what was owed to him. That is not what he made.”

[...]

“Keep in mind Urijah’s still fighting off an old contract, but Urijah’s been well taken care of for the last couple fights.”

(Looks like Sadollah’s first non-TUF fight is going to have to wait.)

Ultimate Fighter 7 winner Amir Sadollah won’t be fighting at UFC 91 this weekend after all, as UFC.com reports that a leg infection has forced him off the card. What with the fight just a couple of days away, the UFC couldn’t find a suitable replacement and has given up trying, so the bout is being scratched altogether.

Sorry, Nick Catone. That big UFC debut you’ve been training for, the one you told all your friends and family about, it ain’t happening. Look on the bright side: at least you’re still undefeated.

Since the bout leaves a hole in the televised portion of the event, the UFC is going to bump Tamdan McCrory-Dustin Hazelett up from the darkness to make up for it. You hear that, “Barn Cat”? You’re going to fight on TV in front of a Dana White-estimated 1.2 million households. Your struggles with women are finally over, my man.

(Apparently he exposed himself to the guy on the right. Just kidding. Photo courtesy of boxingbilldempseyyoung.com.)

On Sunday, MMA Weekly broke the news that Armando Garcia — the often-controversial Executive Director of the California State Athletic Commission — will resign from his post at a public commission meeting on November 18th; an interim Executive Officer will be appointed at the meeting, and an executive search committee will be formed to secure a permanent replacement. Fightlinker immediately began rejoicing the departure of the man who allowed an HIV positive fighter to fight, re-licensed MMA scumbag Mike Kyle, completely mishandled Sean Sherk’s steroid appeal, suspended Nick Diaz for marijuana use without testing him for marijuana use, constantly pulled fighters from shows at the last minute, and a litany of other offenses. But judging from the mysterious final line of the MMA Weekly report (“Garcia declined comment on his departure, but said he would share his side of the story soon”), we had a feeling that even more shameful deeds might come out in the wash.

So if the constant administrative fiascos weren’t enough to get Garcia fired, what was? Michael Swann of 15 Rounds now reports that the forced-resignation is a result of some good old American sexual harassment, with a little unethical business behavior thrown in on the side. First, the sex stuff:

(If Dana is right, Jack Link’s Beef Jerky is about to get their money’s worth.)

UFC president Dana White appeared on ESPN First Take today (thanks to our friends at MMA Fanhouse for the heads up) to talk UFC 91, and it seems he isn’t backing down from his earlier prediction that this event would do over a million pay-per-view buys. This time White got even more specific with his figures:

“We think it’s going to be the biggest pay-per-view draw in UFC history,” White said. “We think we’re going to do 1.2 million buys on this fight. It’s a big fight, the WWE cross-over for this fight, a lot of WWE fans are going to tune in to see if their former wrestling champion can win in a real fight. Vince McMahon might even buy this fight.”

One hopes that White is relying on some kind of consumer research, as he has claimed in the past, and not just spouting off a number. But 1.2 million buys, in the midst of a recession? That’s the kind of claim that makes me want to call ‘shenanigans,’ as the kids say.

The shakiest part of this logic is the dependence on the curiosity of the WWE crossover audience, especially the portion of that audience that typically passes on buying UFC events. This is Brock Lesnar‘s third UFC fight. Granted, it’s his biggest one yet, but only fans who follow the UFC enough to realize the importance of Randy Couture appreciate that.

To the casual WWE fan that White is depending on, isn’t this just another Brock Lesnar fight? And if these WWE fans are so eager to see Lesnar in a real fight, wouldn’t they have been just as willing to pay for his first big fight against Frank Mir?

Ryan Couture vs. Ricky Perez – Watch more Free Videos

Randy Couture‘s son, Ryan, was successful in his amateur debut this past weekend, submitting Ricky Perez in the first round. The reaction from Ryan’s friends in the crowd is, let’s just say, enthusiastic.

I always have mixed feelings watching the children of famous people attempt to do what their famous parents do. On one hand, Couture’s son probably has great genetics and excellent training to help him along. On the other, he’s always going to be known as Randy Couture’s son.

Just think about what he’d have to do in order to get out from under that cloud as an MMA fighter. If he became the greatest fighter in the history of the sport, if he defeated the children of Fedor Emelianenko and Chuck Liddell on the same night and then beat up Tito Ortiz and Jenna Jameson‘s love child on his way back to the locker room (naturally I assume that the Ortiz/Jameson offspring will be a screaming drunk in the audience) that might do it.

Who knows, sometimes the child eclipses the father, and that is one hell of a triangle choke. But for every Peyton Manning there’s a Gloria Hemingway. Best of luck in avoiding that fate, little Couture.

(Props: MMA Rated)

Considering the sport’s “inyaface” attitude, MMA organizations are surprisingly non-confrontational when it comes to dealing with their employees. Time and time again we hear stories of fighters who find out their contracts have been shredded (or that the league they fight for no longer exists) not from the company HR department, but from blogs like this one. The latest example is Fabricio Werdum, who thought his job security with the UFC was solid until Tatame filled him in. It seems like the big guy is still in denial:

“I’m surprised by the news. My sister is my manager and she’s the one that deals with the UFC and she always contacted me first before making decision. From what I know the UFC have not contacted her. I still have four more fights left on my contract that runs until 2010. From what they told me I should fight in February, July, November and April of 2010. In fact, I’m moving to the US to prepare for those fights with Rafael Cordeiro.” said Werdum who is still making final arrangements to make his move to USA in December.

Well, your first mistake was making your sister your manager — the woman’s got enough to worry about, what with the new baby and the kitchen renovations and the new season of Lipstick Jungle. Maybe she just forgot to tell you that the UFC called to fire you. It happens.

Werdum’s statement seems to contradict MMA Weekly’s earlier report that “Vai Cavalo” is already looking for a new place to fight, but the firing part seems accurate, at least; as Fightlinker points out, Werdum’s name is gone from the rolls at UFC.com. I guess that’s what passes for a firm handshake and a “good luck” these days…

(Thanks to Robert at Betwwx for the translation.)

It’s the week leading up to another UFC event, which means we get to see Dana White on hustle-mode once again. He kicks off this installment of the vlog at Tony Hawk’s Stand Up for Skateparks benefit/festival/whatever, where he wrings out Randy vs. Brock fight predictions from Anthony Kiedis (Randy via experience), Urijah Faber (Lesnar via beastly genetics) and Wanderlei Silva, who claims Randy will put Brock on the ground and do something to his face with the elbows. Skater/radio host Jason Ellis agrees wholeheartedly. (“And he’s got a dick on his chest, too,” Ellis says.)

Driving away from the event, we are introduced to Dana’s shy sons, Friction and Fractalgeometry — “Fric” and “Frac” for short — who aren’t as excited about going to Johnny’s Rockets as their father is (kids today). Fric demands a “dwink,” which earns him endless mockery from Dana. We also learn that shopping is the only thing their mother does.

Dana is dropped off at Jimmy Iovine‘s house to meet 50 Cent and discuss the relationship between fighting and music. 50 is sporting a t-shirt with a picture of Kate Moss. As he explains it, “black president, it’s time for interracial relationships.”

“Countdown to UFC 91″ airs tonight on Spike TV at 11 pm EST/PST. In this brief taste we get an idea of what the storyline between Randy Couture and Brock Lesnar is going to be, but somehow it still feels like less than an all-out promotional blitz for an event Dana White predicted would top one million pay-per-view buys. Maybe they think this one sells itself. Maybe they think the wrestling fans will come out in droves to buy this one like they never have before. Maybe they finally realized that the undercard is caught somewhere between mediocre and painfully weak, and they’re already thinking about hyping UFC 92.

After the jump, Matt Lindland stops by to give his analysis of the Couture-Lesnar matchup.

(Guess who’s fixing to fight for some troops. Also, for money.)

It’s a busy day for the UFC’s PR staff, as they sent out one release officially announcing the December 10 “UFC Fight for the Troops” event in Fayetteville, North Carolina, and another to alert the state of New York to just how much money they’re losing by not legalizing MMA.

The “Fight for the Troops” card will air live on Spike TV and is headlined by Josh Koscheck vs. Yoshiyuki Yoshida, and also includes Mike Swick-Jonathan Goulet and Frankie Edgar-Matt Wiman. From the press release:

The special live UFC fight card will raise funds to build a hospital for traumatic brain injuries for the brave men and women in the United States Armed Forces. Thousands of soldiers from nearby Fort Bragg, the proud home of the U.S. Airborne and Special Operations Forces, will be in attendance. More information about the facility, including ways to donate, can be found online at http://www.fallenheroesfund.org or by calling 1-800-340-HERO

The fight card also showcases five current UFC fighters who are all U.S. military veterans, including Luigi Fioravanti, Tim Credeur, Dale Hartt, Brandon Wolff, and Steve Bruno. An additional fight will be added to the main event and announced at a later date.

The day’s other UFC release serves as a not-so-subtle reminder to New York that they’re missing out on millions of dollars by keeping MMA away from their state. And it’s not just New York City that the UFC has their eye on.

(Props: thebigmansentme, MMA Fight Girls)

Not sure about the back-story on these photos, but basically we’re looking at noted lesbrawler Tonya Evinger — whose desire to make out with Gina Carano has never been a secret — corrupting Crush at a party. And if you send us $9.95, we’ll let you see the rest of the set! More wild pics below; please Digg this post if you can.

Previously: Tonya Evinger Lesbian Party

UFC welterweight Jon Fitch stopped by Mythbusters last week to help the gang test the idea that a person could realistically escape a live burial Kill Bill-style by punching their way out of the coffin then crawling upwards through six feet of dirt. You can check out the full episode here. Spoiler alert: This myth is quite busted.

And here’s 30 seconds of hype for “Ultimate 2008,” which goes down December 27th in Las Vegas — only on pay-per-vyoooooo.

After the jump: Video of Joe Calzaghe’s triumph over Roy Jones Jr. in their light-heavyweight championship boxing match on Saturday at Madison Square Garden.

(Cote enjoying the hell out of his alternate reality.)

When I saw the video of Patrick Cote looking inebriated in a hotel room and talking about how bad he had “fucked up” Anderson Silva in their fight at UFC 90, I assumed this was something he needed to tell himself in order to enjoy his post-fight party. We all have our own pleasant fictions, and I can’t begrudge a man with a blown out knee and a cut forehead from getting all hopped up on, well, whatever he was hopped up on, and telling himself a palatable story about what had happened that night.

The fact that he still believes it is a little more disconcerting. Speaking about the fight on MMA Rated Radio, Cote seems to have decided that Silva‘s antics weren’t a show of disrespect, but rather a sign that the champ was so utterly confused in the fight that he didn’t know what to do:

“I don’t think it was a lack of respect. I just think my game plan was perfect. I was moving a lot, going forward but not running after him and I don’t think he was expecting a lot of leg kicks like I did. He gave me a very good shot and I was still there…He didn’t want to exchange, I think, with me.”

That is one possible interpretation. Granted, it’s the interpretation that’s most generous to Cote, and the interpretation that only Cote seems to subscribe to, but it’s an interpretation nonetheless. As for Silva offering his hand to help him up, Cote has an explanation for that one too:

(Anyone else have a sudden hankering for soccer kicks and head stomps?)

Newly acquired ATT fighter and former Pride bad-ass Denis Kang could make his UFC debut in front of a different foreign audience, as rumor has it he may take on Alan “The Talent” Belcher at UFC 93 in Dublin, Ireland on January 17. Bout agreements have reportedly been sent to both camps, and while it’s not yet official Belcher says he’s accepting and is waiting to hear from Kang.

Starting Kang off with Belcher, who’s coming off a very narrow decision win over Ed Herman at Ultimate Fight Night 15, may be a sign that the UFC is perfectly willing to bring him along slowly rather than try to fast-track Kang for a title shot. Not that Belcher’s a punk, but he’s also not quite as explosive or experienced as Kang.

If this fight gets added to the card along with Franklin-Henderson and Coleman-Rua, the UFC will have every reason to expect a successful debut in Dublin. Then again, the event is already sold out, so maybe they aren’t too concerned.

(When you wake up, we’ll need you to clean out your desk. Photo courtesy of UFC.com.)

Just how rough is this economy? Well, former UFC top heavyweight contender Fabricio Werdum just got downsized after losing one fight. Apparently Dana White & Co. were less than understanding of Werdum‘s upset loss to Junior Dos Santos at UFC 90 and asked him to immediately re-negotiate his contract. The two sides couldn’t come to an agreement, prompting Werdum to leave the promotion; according to MMA Weekly, he’s already negotiating with other fight clubs in the U.S. and Japan.

For the record, Werdum’s base salary was $80,000 when he made his UFC debut in April 2007, dropping a decision to Andrei Arlovski. We’d assume that he made the same amount for his subsequent beatings of Gabriel Gonzaga and Brandon Vera (at UFC 80 and 85), and his loss to Dos Santos last month, but salaries for those events were never publicly released. At any rate, his old employer decided he wasn’t worth 80 grand anymore and put the screws to him, which is just another example of the imbalance of power that plagues UFC fighter contracts. You sign a piece of paper that seemingly promises you a certain amount of money for a certain number of fights, but it’s by no means a guarantee unless you win every fight. And as the UFC becomes the only game in town, the power it wields is even greater. Anybody want to start a fighter’s union?

(You do not want to mess with this man. Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle via myspace.com/kenpavia.)

Led by the always-outspoken Ken Pavia, a group of high-profile MMA agents have joined forces to block their fighters from being sold to the highest bidder during Showtime’s planned auction of Pro Elite’s corporate assets on November 17th. From a new press release drafted by the Pav, and signed by Monte Cox, Ed Soares, and Cesar Gracie, among others:

Individually we consummated promotional agreements with Pro Elite. These agreements were made based on a multiplicity of factors including but not limited to relationships with certain Pro Elite personnel, venues, television exposure, jurisdictional concerns, public relations support, and numerous other intangibles. These considerations are not readily transferable…

We intend to fight the lawful ability to transfer these assets, and as we believe these are personal services contracts, we do not believe there is an obligation to perform if transferred. With pooled resources we are prepared to fight this issue.

The unity of this effort is unprecedented and the message that is being sent is clear. Absent significant pre-established negotiated terms, do not bid on these contracts unless you are prepared to fight the challenge to their legality. It is our intention to honor our commitment to Pro Elite, but if Pro Elite is not able to perform in accordance with the contractual terms, the fighters should be granted unrestricted free agency with the unfettered ability to enter the marketplace.

It’s good to see business rivals uniting for the rights of their fighters, especially when they haven’t always been civil towards each other in the past. Hopefully Showtime will get the message that some of these “assets” they plan on auctioning actually represent the livelihoods of human beings.

In a development that few of you will admit to caring about, Tito Ortiz now says that returning to the UFC is a real possibility, and he’s looking to emerge from his competitive hiatus this summer. As Michael David Smith at AOL MMA FanHouse writes:

[At] last weekend’s Rumble in the Park in Fresno, Ortiz said, “It’s either going to be with the UFC or it’s going to be with Affliction, but guaranteed, you guys will see me fight — no matter what — by July.”

Ortiz also mentioned that he had back surgery last month, which he deemed successful. He also said it was the same surgery that Nate Quarry had, and Quarry was out of action for 15 months after his back surgery. So Ortiz is very optimistic if he thinks he can guarantee that he’ll return just seven months after the surgery.

He’s also optimistic if he thinks Affliction will still be in the MMA business in July. And he’s optimistic if he thinks UFC will still be willing to do business with him. Bottom line, Ortiz is an optimistic guy.

Of course, it could be worse: Ortiz was close to signing a contract with EliteXC. As former EliteXC fighter Jake Shields said, “Good thing he didn’t sign with them. He’d be on eBay.”

Quick timeline, if you haven’t been keeping up…

(Brock Lesnar will get his gross sweat all over you. Look out, Randy.)

Brock Lesnar is preparing for Randy Couture with his jiu-jitsu coach Rodrigo “Comprido” Medeiros, who as you might recall was the man to help Lesnar figure out the mystery of the kneebar after his loss to Frank Mir. Comprido tells Graciemag.com that Lesnar is training at a new academy, mixing it up with world class submissions guys like himself and decorated wrestlers like Cole Konrad. As for a prediction, Comprido isn’t shy:

“I know Couture is a very strategic fighter, but I believe Brock will take this fight in the first round.”

Somehow Frank Mir is unmoved by this endorsement, claiming that he’d still rather rematch Lesnar than take on Couture in the finals of this so-called heavyweight “tournament”:

(GSP is not impressed. Props: MMA Mania.)

- Is Shonie Carter trapped in a foreign land? (Fightlinker)

- Talking WEC meltdown, Pro Elite antics, and more on internet radio. (MMA Rated)

- Matt Hughes is not a white supremacist. (Bloody Elbow)

- Randy Couture scoffs at your insults. (Las Vegas Sun)

- Gina Carano and “Cyborg” Santos to sign together as package deal? (Fighters Only)

- Gomi reloading to headline Sengoku 7. (MMA Junkie)

- Mike Massenzio looking to use CB Dollaway as a stepping stone. (Fight Hype)

- The 10 best bourbons you’ve never heard of. (Holy Taco)

- How the iPhone beat the Blackberry. (Wall Street Fighter)

- Milla Jovovich to play alcoholic stripper…finally. (Screen Junkies)

- Dry ice bomb owns dad. (Nothing Toxic)

(A chubby Filho tries to muster the interest to block a jab. Photo courtesy of WEC.tv)

True to their word, Paulo Filho’s camp will be sending Chael Sonnen the WEC middleweight title belt that he wants so badly, according to Josh Gross. Sonnen didn’t officially win the championship, what with Filho not making weight, and he may not have looked dazzling in his decision victory but he still clearly deserves the strap more than Filho. Ed Soares, Filho’s manager, said he’d be shipping Sonnen the belt “as soon as he could.”

What’s perhaps more interesting is Soares’ description of Filho after the bizarre fight. Apparently, he didn’t even seem to realize what had happened, which is sort of odd for a guy who made it all the way through three rounds:

Having returned to his locker room after refusing to engage for 15 minutes, Filho (16-1), told several times he’d lost, reacted as if he was unaware the fight had even reached its conclusion, Soares said.

Soon, Filho drew attention from doctors when the dilation of his pupils didn’t match. Later that evening, however, the 30-year-old grappler was released from a local hospital, his eyes functioning as close to normal as they’d done all night.

Just when you thought it couldn’t get weirder. The confusion on Filho’s part might help explain his performance, though. If he was unaware the fight had ended, perhaps he was also unaware it had ever started. Wait until he sees the tape of the fight. Boy, is his face going to be unemployed. I mean red.

(“‘Cause you had a bad day, you’re taking one down, you sing a sad song just to turn it around…”)

Here’s what the fighters pulled in from Wednesday’s WEC show, courtesy of MMA Weekly:

Chael Sonnen: $48,250 (includes $19,000 win bonus and 25% of Paulo Filho’s base salary)
Jens Pulver: $33,000
Paulo Filho: $30,750
Leonard Garcia: $27,500 (includes $10,000 win bonus, $7,500 performance bonus)
Mike Brown: $25,500 (includes $9,000 win bonus, $7,500 Knockout of the Night bonus)
Rob McCullough: $25,500 (includes $7,500 Fight of the Night bonus)
Jake Rosholt: $22,000 (includes $11,000 win bonus)
Donald Cerrone: $21,500 (includes $7,000 win bonus, $7,500 Fight of the Night bonus)
Rani Yayha: $19,500 (includes $6,000 win bonus, $7,500 Submission of the Night bonus)
Urijah Faber: $14,000
Aaron Simpson: $10,000 (includes $5,000 win bonus)
Jose Aldo: $8,000 (includes $4,000 win bonus)
Carmelo Marrero: $8,000 (includes $4,000 win bonus)
Danny Castillo: $6,000 (includes $3,000 win bonus)
Steve Steinbeiss: $6,000
Yoshiro Maeda: $6,000
Nissen Osterneck: $4,000
David Avellan: $3,000
Jonathan Brookins: $3,000
Rafael Dias: $3,000
Total disclosed payroll: $287,000

Underpaid: This isn’t the first time we’ve said this, but Urijah Faber is getting sodomized by the WEC. His win bonus — which he generally gets — tacks on an additional $24,000 to his fight purse, but you can’t win ‘em all, and he simply isn’t being paid relative to the attention he brings the organization.

Overpaid: Paulo Filho, obviously. Docking him 25% of his base pay sounded fair at the weigh-ins; can the WEC take back the remaining 75% on the grounds that Filho didn’t actually fight?

(“The belt, the flannel, and the bible — only these three things are sacred.” Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

In an effort to get more of you bastards walking around as human billboards for CagePotato.com, we’re going to start giving away CP “Hall of Fame” t-shirts to our two favorite comments of the week. (Well, out of the ones we actually read, at least.) This week’s honorees are:

Krazy Kracker on “Paulo Filho Has No Excuse”: This is no laughing matter you guys. Earlier tonight Filho was complaining of chest pains and was rushed to the nearest emergency room. After several tests doctors have comfirmed that instead of a heart, Paulo has a gigantic clitoris pumping pure estrogen through his veins. The flow of estrogen can only be slowed by wearing sleeveless flannel shirts and resting on your back once every minute. Usually cutting weight is no problem if he can time his fights into that five day window all clitoris owners have once a month, where he can purge himself of roughly ten pounds of pesky blood, but Hurricane Ike threw a wrench in his plans. Without being whipped into a PMS induced rage, we saw his true colors… a typical moody bitch, yelling at someone to do chores from the other room, looking for rich men to lay at MMA events and falling into missionary position whenever a man gets within three feet. A sad day for the sport indeed. According to Filho’s manager “All we need is four days, a lot of chocolate, sweatpants and a copy of Sleepless in Seattle and Paulo will be back in the cage the THIRD week of any month you’d like.”

ESPN’s MMA Live talks UFC 91 (which they’ll be broadcasting from live, with three shows next week) among other recent topics in the world of mixed martial arts. As much as I enjoy this show, Stephan Bonnar looks so uncomfortable. At times he seems like a robot that has learned about human emotions and expression solely by watching daytime TV. If bringing him in was a ploy to make us miss Kenny Florian while he’s locked away in a gym somewhere, mission accomplished.

After the jump, something that is not MMA but is still both fighting-related and awesome.

(Now that belt is worthless for two reasons.)

I never thought I’d admit this, but maybe KJ Noons’ decision not to defend his EliteXC lightweight title against Nick Diaz on CBS wasn’t so dumb after all. You’ll recall that everyone from Jared Shaw to, well, us, gave Noons a hard time for running from a Diaz rematch. He was eventually stripped of the title and claimed breach of contract as he headed back to the world of boxing, where he was champion of nothing and had no chance to be seen on network TV.

But now that EliteXC’s fighters are sidelined while they wait to find out whether their contracts will be auctioned off, declared void, or simply held on to in such a way that prevents them from making a living, Noons is off making money as a boxer again.

Noons (7-1 as a boxer) is set to face Alex Bogarin (8-6-3) in a six-rounder next Thursday at the Expo Center in El Monte, Calif. The fight won’t be on CBS in front of millions of viewers, so you can still argue that it was dumb of him to turn down that exposure and the opportunity to pull in some extra sponsorship money, but the fact remains that he’s working.

Sure, you could also wonder why, if he’s contractually free to box, he couldn’t have fought Diaz and defended his title like any respectable champion and still returned to boxing when EliteXC went tits up. But this has to feel like a moral victory for Noons, so let’s not spoil it with details. As for the rest of the EliteXC stable, let’s just say it’s looking like a lean Christmas this year at Scott Smith’s house.

In this video interview from Steve Cofield, Randy Couture responds to the recent hostility directed at him by Affliction co-owner Todd Beard. It seems that Randy isn’t above slinging a little mud right back — and he gets pretty damn personal:

“I don’t intend to do any more business with Todd or Affliction in any way, and whether or not they still manufacture [Xtreme Couture clothing] down the road or not is still yet to be seen. But, you know, guys with drinking problems, I mean, is what it boils down to. I’ve seen it at several different professional meetings where he’s ordering shots and just out of control. And it’s not really something that I want be associated with.”

OH, SNAP. Beard sounds almost as bad as Mauro Ranallo. The UFC still won’t allow Randy to wear Xtreme Couture gear during UFC appearances as long as Affliction is a competitor, and his return to the Octagon has Beard’s panties in a twist — so basically, Affliction’s attempt to be a fight promoter may wind up spiking Couture’s clothing line altogether. I ask you: Hasn’t his man suffered enough?

In other Couture news, Randy’s son Ryan will make his amateur MMA debut tonight at the Bellingham Sportsplex in Bellingham, Washington. He’ll be facing Ricky Perez (1-1) in the 160-pound division. Let’s hope he fares a little better than his stepmom.

(He’s officially gone from douchebag promoter to just a douchebag.)

The charade of EliteXC’s plan to hold an event in 2009 was hit with a reality check this week. According to a letter sent to MMA Payout by the California State Athletic Commission’s Armando Garcia:

Pro Elite/Elite XC’s and King of the Cage’s licenses are suspended. They were suspended yesterday, when after looking into the matter carefully the exact situation was determined. However, it is not due to any type of contracts…

The primary reason that Pro Elite/Elite XC’s and King of the Cage’s licenses have been placed on suspension is because of their financial states and the fact that Pro Elite, the owner of King of the Cage, has suspended operations and their tangible and intangible assets are being auctioned on November 17.

Hypothetically, if the auction goes through and one or more entities purchase either or both of these companies they would have to go through the licensing process. In other words, whatever it is that is being auctioned is not their California licenses.

Garcia also stated that the CSAC has no control over EliteXC’s fighter contracts, and “to have these types of contracts declared void the party (ies) would need to file a civil lawsuit in the appropriate court.” Which is unfortunate because Pro Elite isn’t giving those contracts up without a long, pointless, completely infuriating fight.

(Either on his way to corner a fighter or commit a break-in. You just never know.)

All day long I’ve been waiting to hear details on exactly what combination of prescription drugs, nachos, and crippling depression was responsible for Paulo Filho showing up seven pounds overweight and then fighting like a bored schizophrenic at last night’s WEC. Judging by his remarks to Tatame, however, it sounds as if Filho is going to try and play this one off as nothing more than a bad night after a bad training camp:

“What can I do, it’s sad… The fact is that I have no excuses, he (Sonnen) went there and did his job to neutralize me and that’s what happened, he did the right job and he has all merits… It was good to give me a new spirit.”

A new spirit? I guess that’s a start. The old one looked pretty worn out, if not non-existent. As far as how he’s planning to turn things around, Filho seems to think the answer consists of moving to Los Angeles and eventually going up a weight class.