(There may be only one man on earth who can make the Santa hat look cool.)

I don’t want much this holiday season.  Well, besides that Red Ryder BB Gun I ask for every year.  And a pony.  But there are some fights I’d like to see in 2009, and while I don’t think that mall Santa I tried to talk to is going to be any help (let’s just say it got heated and we both said some things we didn’t really mean), I’m holding out hope that the powers that be will hear my pleas and make some of these happen.  

Here’s my wish list of ten fights for 2009.  Some are very likely.  Some are just barely feasible.  But I tried to stay away from the downright impossible, hence the absence of Fedor vs. The Highlander.  Feel free to let me know all about what’s on your list in the comments section:

1. Anderson Silva vs. Georges St. Pierre: Whether GSP beats Penn or not (magic eight ball says, “all signs point to yes,”) this has the potential to be the UFC’s biggest superfight ever.  They have precious few opportunities to settle pound-for-pound debates, but this is their best shot.  If MMA becomes legal in New York this year, as it probably will, this fight could do a Jay-Z and sell out the Garden in a day.

2. B.J. Penn vs. Kenny Florian: Perhaps no fighter in the UFC has improved so much by sheer force of will as KenFlo.  Penn is the lightweight champ, and he deserves to be, which is why I really wish he’d stop chasing fights in other weight classes and set his sights on defending that title.  Winning a belt is great, but defending it is how you cement your status as a dominant champ.  Penn probably beats Florian in a tough fight, but there’s only one way to find out.

3. Fedor Emelianenko vs. Josh Barnett: If he beats Arlovski, this is the only realistically possible bout for Fedor that would still be compelling.  I know they’re friends and all, but Affliction is starting to feel like a narrowing path leading only to this fight.  Hopefully all parties concerned – Affliction, Barnett, Fedor, Fedor’s management team – can hold it together long enough to make it happen.

(Props: Card on the UG)

Now that Tom Atencio is saying that the winner of Day of Reckoning’s Josh Barnett/Gilbert Yvel fight will face the winner of Fedor Emelianenko/Andrei Arlovski, we might as well see how Yvel’s doing these days. Judging from the recent training clip shown above, he likes his chances for next month’s match, even though he acknowledges his deficient ground game (while giving credit to his opponent’s submission skills). He stops just short of actually apologizing for his ugly in-ring behavior in the past, but does state that he’s very happy to fight in the States again. "It’s one time, and never again," he says. Not sure if that "one time" refers to the eye-gouging, the biting, or the ref-stomping — maybe all three — but we should all just drop the Yvel-hate and start getting psyched for the inevitable Andrei/Gilbert WAMMA heavyweight championship fight at Affliction III. [Ed. note: j/k!]

(Props: MMA Mania)

According to a new press release sent out by SpikeTV, the UFC’s 17th "Fight Night" card will go down February 7th at the USF Sun Dome in Tampa, Florida. Headlining the action will be a lightweight scrap between Joe Lauzon and Hermes Franca. Both men are coming off wins, with Lauzon most recently defeating Kyle Bradley via TKO at UFC Fight Night 15 in September, and Franca taking a unanimous decision over Marcus Aurelio at UFC 90 in October. Also on the card…

Mac Danzig vs. Josh Neer (LW): The Ultimate Fighter 6 winner looks to get back on track after being smothered by a demon-possessed Clay Guida at Fight Night 15. Neer could also use a win, as he lost a tough decision to Nate Diaz at the same event.

Amir Sadollah vs. Nick Catone (MW): This fight was originally supposed to go down at UFC 91, but Sadollah picked up some kind of leg infection and had to pull out. The match has been pushed to February, and the TUF 7 winner will finally get to test out newcomer Catone, a 5-0 Ring of Combat vet with four first-round stoppages under his belt. Sadollah is still just 1-0 as a pro.

Cain Velasquez vs. Denis Stojnic (HW): We didn’t even hear this one rumored until it was announced. Now that Mustapha Al-Turk has been re-assigned to UFC 92, they needed to find another patsy for Velasquez to eat up. Stojnic is just some random dude from Sarajevo who’s 5-1 in Europe. He is, however, a member of the Golden Glory team, which means he works out alongside Alistair Overeem, Sergei Kharitonov, and Semmy Schilt. How bad could he be?

MMA Weekly also hears that a lightweight bout between Kurt Pellegrino and Rob Emerson is possible; the entire fight card will be announced shortly.

(See, this is why we don’t hang out any more, Alistair. You get three beers in you and boom, the shirt’s off and you’re flexing again. It gets old, man.)

Adamantly refusing to play the role of the good guy in this feud, Alistair Overeem is once more accusing Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic of faking his injuries in their fight and ducking a rematch.  The Dutch fighter tells Fighters Only that Cro Cop signing to face Hong Man Choi is another sign that he doesn’t want any part of “The Demolition Man” after getting abused in their first meeting, before it was eventually stopped due to severe testicular damage brought on my Overeem’s misplaced knee strikes:

“Like I’ve always said, he doesn’t want to fight me… CroCop faked his injuries in our previous fight and now he has chosen not to fight me and instead fight Choi. He knows very well he doesn’t stand a chance against me… I would love to have a rematch but I seriously doubt if he will ever accept. For me he is not a objective anymore.”

While it’s true that Overeem was beating Cro Cop soundly before the illegal blows, calling the man a faker seems contrary to the video evidence we’ve seen, which clearly shows a hard shot in the pills.  The word after the fight was that one of Cro Cop’s testicles was possibly seriously injured after being forced inside his body.  You just can’t fake that.

Cro Cop swears he wants this rematch, and has even invited Overeem to his own special basement cage to settle the deal.  Overeem understandably turned down this offer to fight for free in his enemy’s home gym, but something is keeping this rematch from happening.  If it’s truly the people at FEG, they should have their heads examined.  Probably not by the same doctor who examined Cro Cop’s balls, though.  I hear he hasn’t been the same since.

MMA fighter Justin Levens, 28, and wife Sara McLean-Levens, 25, were found dead in their Laguna-Niguel, Calif. condo Wednesday in what police are investigating as a possible murder-suicide.  Reports indicate that Levens’ mother-in-law found the bodies and alerted authorities, who arrived and discovered the two dead of apparent gunshot wounds.

Levens fought in the UFC, WEC, and IFL, among other organizations.  He competed for Marco Ruas’ Condors in the IFL, and was a teammate of middleweight Jeremy Williams, who committed suicide in May of 2007.

Levens was scheduled to compete on the July Affliction: Banned card, but his bout was cut due to time constraints, and he later tested positive for oxymorphone and was suspended by the CSAC.  His last fight was a submission loss to Kenny Ento on October 18, 2007 in the Palace Fighting Championship.

Further information is expected to be released today.

(Mustapha Al-Turk vs. Mark Kerr, Cage Rage 20, 2/10/07)

There are so many marquee names on the UFC’s year-end card (December 27th, Las Vegas) that the three heavyweights who will be stepping into the Octagon for the first time could get lost in the shuffle. So let’s take a quick look at the dudes who will be fighting for a slice of recognition during their UFC debuts at #92…

MUSTAPHA AL-TURK (HW)
Experience: 6-3 record, with all wins by first-round stoppage due to strikes. Last seven fights were in the now-defunct Cage Rage, where he won their British heavyweight title. Most recently defeated James McSweeney via TKO at Cage Rage 27 in July.
Will be facing: Cheick Kongo (12-4-1, 5-2 UFC)
Lowdown: Al-Turk was originally supposed to be fed to Cain Velasquez, but a knee-injury forced Velasquez to pull out of the bout. A member of the London Shootfighters camp, Al-Turk won the ADCC European Trials in 2005, but lost his first-round match at the World Championships to Gabriel Gonzaga. His solid takedowns and ground-and-pound could create serious problems for Kongo, a standup fighter without a strong ground game.

MIKE WESSEL (HW)
Experience: 8-1 record in various midwestern/southern regional leagues (15-1 including amateur fights). Most recently submitted Aaron Winterlee at a Subzero Fighting event in August.
Will be facing: Antoni Hardonk (7-4, 3-2 UFC)
Lowdown: A late replacement for Mark Burch, who had to pull out of his fight against Hardonk due to undisclosed reasons, Wessel trains with TUF 8 footnote Roli Delgado at Westside Kickboxing and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu in Little Rock, Arkansas. He’s a former strength and conditioning coach for the University of Arkansas; his website also says he’s a former pro football player. We’ll see if that’s enough to stand up to Hardonk’s notoriously brutal leg-kicks.

(Video from Affliction’s press conference yesterday, courtesy of FightHype. If Tito is as natural doing color commentary as he was introducing Chris Horodecki, I think we’re all gonna be just fine.)

Affliction has announced the complete lineup for their "Day of Reckoning" event, which will go down January 24th at the Honda Center in Anaheim, CA. The five-fight undercard will be broadcast live on HDNet starting at 7:30 p.m. ET/4:30 p.m. PT, while the six-fight pay-per-view broadcast will kick off at 9 p.m. ET/6 p.m. PT. That means Affliction will try to jam five undercard fights into 90 minutes — wonderful if they can pull it off, but it’ll require some seriously airtight pacing and production, which isn’t something Affliction was known for in their last event. The finalized lineup is below…

PPV Card
Fedor Emelianenko vs. Andrei Arlovski
Josh Barnett vs. Gilbert Yvel
Matt Lindland vs. Vitor Belfort
Renato Sobral vs. Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou
Chris Horodecki vs. Dan Lauzon
Paul Buentello vs. Kiril Sidelnikov

HDNet Card
Antonio Rogerio Nogueira vs. Vladimir Matyushenko
Jay Hieron vs. Jason High
Mark Hominick vs. L.C. Davis
Antonio Duarte vs. Albert Rios
Brett Cooper vs. Patrick Speight

(Carneiro vs. Anderson Silva, from way back in the day. Check out the easy-as-pie sweep at the 5:38 mark. Then the finish soon after.)

Jiu-jitsu ace Roan Carneiro’s services are no longer required in the UFC, reports Five Ounces of Pain.  He was let go after an unremarkable five-fight stint, going 2-3 and losing two straight – one of which was a submission loss to Kevin Burns, of all people – before being ousted.  He’s already found a new home with the World Cagefighting Alliance, where he’ll face Paul “Herpes Neck” Bradley from season seven of The Ultimate Fighter.  Yeah, you remember him.

– Affliction VP Tom Atencio still thinks Golden Boy is his friend.  He told CBS Sportsline that he wasn’t concerned about them promoting an event just thirty-five miles away and on the same night as his, saying: “We’ll be competing a little bit. It is what it is. Golden Boy is our partner, and we’re making sure that both events are known.”  By that reasoning, Affliction and the UFC, which is only reairing event on the same night, must be total BFF’s!

– Japanese judo gold medalist Satoshi Ishii says he would rather flee to America to fight under the Zuffa banner than stay and compete in Sengoku or Dream, like he lead us to believe he would.  Much to the disappointment of the Japanese MMA scene, which is also looking at the potential departure of Yoshihiro Akiyama for greener pastures, Ishii says he doesn’t even mind if he has to start in the WEC. 

(Someone should tell him they don’t do the bigger weight classes in the WEC anymore.  Just make sure you’re not wearing a gi when you tell him that, because he will flip you for real).

(‘Do not mistake my kindness for weakness, my friend.’)

Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic writes on his blog that he has signed the contract to make the rumored bout with Korean giant Hong Man Choi official.  It will be contested under MMA rules, not K-1 kickboxing rules, which is nice for Cro Cop, who is hoping to end this rough year on a high note:

I must say I’m happy with this opportunity to fight again in this year. This wasn’t the best year for me and I’m hoping that I’ll end it in a good spirit. I’m also happy to fight again in Japan at New Year’s Eve, which is always truly a fantastic experience.

[…]

Although I’m still having some difficulties with my old injuries there won’t be any excuses left in case of a bad result. I’ll handle this issues in January, but against Choi I’ll be ready and nothing will stop me this time. I’ll just do my best and end this year with a win hopefully. Then I’ll focus on 2009 and work on the further steps in my career.

You know something, it really has been a tough year for Cro Cop.  He’s struggled with injuries, got his testicles smashed by Overeem, had his training partner busted for being a serial armed robber, and then there’s that whole weirdo video game thing.  Fortunately, fighting a giant on New Year’s Eve is an old Croatian folk remedy guaranteed to bring good luck.  It works best if you also sleep with a virgin on the same night, though isn’t that the story with all Croatian folk remedies? 

But hold up, American fans, there’s a strong possibility we may not even get to see the big K-1 Dynamite show.  HDNet Fights CEO Andrew Simon tells MMA Fanhouse that since their contract is with K-1, and since Dynamite is not technically a K-1 show, it’s a bit of a tricky situation.  If HDNet isn’t showing it that means it may not air in the states at all.  Which would be, as the kids say, a total bummer.  Let’s hope they work something out.

Terrible news from WEC.tv:

Ribeiro (10-2) last fought two weeks ago at WEC 37, where he was submitted in the third round by Brian Bowles; before that, he won his WEC debut with a split-decision victory over former bantamweight champ Chase Beebe at WEC 34. Tatame reports that Ribeiro may have lost "encephalic mass" (part of his brain) after the accident. Thoughts, prayers, whatever it is you do…

(Well, he seems to be better than Kimbo, at least.)

In an attempt to add another warm body to its heavyweight division — and another recognizable fighter to its UK cards — the UFC has reportedly signed heavyweight Neil "Goliath" Grove to a four-fight contract. The 6’6" South African native compiled a 6-1 record fighting in Cage Rage and the UK MMA Championship, with all his wins coming by KO/TKO. He holds notable victories over James Thompson (the 10-second beating shown above) and Robert "Buzz" Berry (twice). He also has a unique martial arts pedigree:

Judging from some of his fights, you’d think he was a third-degree black belt in Drunken British Soccer Hooligan. But it works for him, and that’s cool with us. Grove is looking to debut at UFC 95 (February 21st; London, England), and has his eye on Mustapha Al-Turk, the man who held Cage Rage’s British heavyweight title before the organization shut down. Al-Turk will first face Cheick Kongo at UFC 92 (December 27th, Las Vegas).

(‘So I put on my good jeans for nothing then?’)

Affliction VP Tom Atencio tells Fighters Only the organization won’t be announcing the signing of Tito Ortiz at today’s press conference after all.  With Ortiz on the shelf recovering from back surgery Atencio says they’re not even discussing contract specifics yet, despite reports to the contrary.  Could it be that even Atencio has his doubts about Affliction being around long enough for Ortiz to fight for them?

Updated: He’s an announcer for the event.  Happy now?  Me neither.

If there’s no Tito signing, that leaves Affliction with a problem at today’s presser.  There’s going to be no Fedor, since he’s decided to stay in the gym following his sambo loss.  There’s no big news, now that the big fights are all announced.  It’s nothing but a photo op, and “Pretty Boy” Lindland is probably going to wander into all the pictures anyway so even that aspect of it is a waste.  

Hardly the kind of thing they need to drum up interest in January’s card, which will air opposite a rebroadcast of UFC 91 on Spike.  Apparently Dana White has downgraded the Affliction threat from ‘emergency Fight Night needed’ to ‘reruns will kill it’ status – ouch.  

Our advice on how to handle this press conference: make stuff up.  Worry about making it come true later.  

Just saying, what if the Iron Sheik was a guest referee in the main event?  What if Josh Barnett was reassigned to a pro wrestling match against Don Frye, while Aleksander Emelianenko stepped in to face Gilbert Yvel?  What if both Aleks and Gilbert were given blood tests before and after the fight, just to see how the results differed?  What if the loser of the Vitor Belfort-Matt Lindland fight actually had the design for the Affliction “River Styx” tee (only $56!) tatted on his torso in front of a live audience?  People can say they won’t watch that show, but they some lying bastards.

(Weird, I heard Pride turned down this exact same trade.)

I’ll admit it: I collected baseball cards as a kid.  We all did.  It was cheap, fun, and the internet hadn’t been invented yet.  You could trade them with unsuspecting younger brothers and obsessively check their worth in the handy Beckett guides.  It was basically the elementary school stock market, only girls weren’t interested so it was more like the stock market in 1890.

I only bring this up now because Topps is releasing its first line of UFC cards in January of 2009 and I’m wondering, are MMA-loving adults the market for this, or do kids still care about trading cards now that they have cell phones and the Wii and overly sensitive stepfathers?

The cards look great, but it’s hard to imagine myself, now an adult (at least legally), buying some.  I’ve long since given up the dream that everyone’s mom but mine will throw them away, resulting in them becoming valuable collector’s items, like these bad boys.  I guess my question is, is the kind of thing the UFC thinks I’ll actually buy, the way TapouT somehow thinks I’ll buy an Octagon-shaped bed?  Or is this the kind of thing they think the children who I’m always chasing off my lawn will buy?

Also, of the 100 cards being offered in the first set, ninety are actual fighters and the remainder is made up of, according to the press release: “a mix of personalities such as Dana White and the Octagon Girls.”  Man, if I buy a pack hoping for that Georges St. Pierre rookie card and I a get one of Dana White leaning against a cage in a partially unbuttoned dress shirt, no amount of free gum is going to placate me. 

It took them 11 days to do it, but K-1 has finally come up with a punishment for their heavyweight champion Badr Hari, who became possessed by spirits at the K-1 World GP Final on December 6th, and ended his match with Remy Bonjasky by tossing him to the mat and stomping on his head (both big no-nos according to K-1 rules). The verdict? Hari will have to forfeit all of his earnings from the event, and he’ll be stripped of his heavyweight title and his status as World GP second-place finisher. Ouch.

Of course, Hari’s dickheadedness in the wake of his disqualification contributed to the harsh sentence. Said FEG event producer Sadaharu Taniagawa:

Maybe if Hari didn’t compare endangering an opponent’s life with head-stomps to "cycling on the pavement," K-1 officials might have shown some mercy. Unfortunately, they were forced to send him a message, and that message was: "Not cool, bro."

(Photo courtesy of AfflictionClothing.com/DayofReckoning)

The online betting site 5Dimes was the first to put up odds for Affliction: Day of Reckoning’s main event, now offering a +325 underdog line for the Pitbull, and -475 for the Last Emperor; in other words, bet $100 on Andrei to win $375, bet $475 on Fedor to win $100. Apparently the line was first established at +400/-600, but it started to even out as money began flooding in for Arlovski. (According to BestFightOdds, BetCris‘s numbers are slightly more generous, and they’re already offering odds for the Josh Barnett/Gilbert Yvel match.) If you feel like taking a risk on the Pitbull, you may want to act soon, since your potential profit could decrease as Arlovski fans continue to drop cash on him.

Personally, I feel that betting against Fedor is always a bad move — even if Arlovski’s been hard at work, taking detailed notes. But 5Dimes and BetCris are also offering a far more interesting wager: Georges St. Pierre vs. BJ Penn at UFC 94. Though 5Dimes set the line at -245/+175 on Monday with Penn as the underdog, the numbers have already shrunk down to -210/+160, meaning that bets are coming down solidly on the Prodigy. If you think GSP has the edge here, definitely keep an eye on the odds to see if they go any lower for him.

Semi-related: Andrei Arlovski now refers to Tim Sylvia as "Pee Pee Taste." Brilliant.

(In case you missed it…)

Steve Cantwell has been taking some heat for sounding so pleased with himself after bending Razak Al-Hassan’s arm like a Gumby doll at “Fight for the Troops.”  Telling Joe Rogan in the post-fight interview that he had "been waiting so long to do that,” was maybe not the best way of wishing his opponent a speedy recovery.  Now Cantwell tells MMA on Tap it was just the adrenaline talking:

“You know that was a really weird outcome to the fight. I had the arm locked in tightly and expected Razak to tap right away – then we rolled twice and it got even tighter. I was thinking to myself ‘This guy is made of rubber – this is crazy’. The only thing I could to end the fight was force the arm until either it broke or he tapped, and that’s what I did. Fighting is always a series of calculated risks, and he had ample opportunity to tap. But none of us enter the ring trying to end each others career, and I do regret the comments I made and being so animated about it afterwards. It was the adrenalin taking over.”

Fair enough, Steve.  It’s somewhat understandable.  As we’ve all observed, nothing good ever comes out of those immediate post-fight interviews.  The guy is either too pumped up, too out of breath, or too busy trying to yank his sponsor’s t-shirt down over his sponsor’s baseball cap to say anything meaningful.  Really, the best you can hope for is that he doesn’t call anyone a cocksucker or lapse into dead air when asked to talk us through the replay.

(Props: BloodyElbow)

Dave Kaplan wonders where the "Tenderness" is during his cage-entrance at the TUF 8 finale on Saturday; it certainly wasn’t in the arms of Junie Browning. More video awesomeness after the jump.

This is so amazing it has to be a hoax — but DreamFighters.com assures us that it’s the real deal. Basically, PRIDE superstar/UFC washout Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic has a video game coming out this month. Here’s the press release, conveniently translated from the original Croatian into broken English:

* $9.55 American. Which does seem like a "super popular price" until you see the screenshots. My favorite is the one below, where Mirko seems to be fighting the lovechild of Slim Goodbody and a velociraptor.

(Photo courtesy of UFC.com)

Corey Hill’s sickening leg-break at “Fight For The Troops” was easily one of the worst injuries ever in the UFC.  Just ask Joe Rogan, who has seen it all in the Octagon and still had terror in his voice as he shouted for the fight to be stopped.  Or ask Dana White, who said afterwards: "Had this fight happened 7 years ago, we probably wouldn’t have been legalized."

Gracie Tampa has set up a charity fund to help Hill through his recovery.  Word has it that the UFC paid for his medical bills (which is right friendly of them), but the guy has a wife and three kids who are going to need a little help while Hill recovers, and if you’re not already tapped from giving money to support TBI research, you can go ahead and give money to help a guy who got hurt on the card to raise money for TBI research.  This is getting weird.

The good news for Hill is that his injury was almost identical to the one suffered by Brazilian fighting legend Jose “Pele” Landi-Jons, and he was back in the gym a couple months later, complaining about the fight being ruled a loss instead of a no contest and angling for a rematch.  Then agan, “Pele” is insane.

(I blame you for this, Samuel L. Jackson hat.)

All that waiting just to see Randy Couture in the Octagon again, and now after one fight he looks to be headed back to the glorious world of film, where people only pretend to punch you in the face. 

Sylvester Stallone has revealed that Couture will appear in his upcoming movie “The Expendables,” which begins filming this March in Brazil.  The film – a charming little tale about a group of mercenaries who must infiltrate a South American country to overthrow an evil dictator – was written by Stallone and will also be directed by him.

Couture joins an all-star action movie cast that includes Dolph Lundgren, Jet Lei, Jason Statham, and even…wait for it…Forrest Whitaker.  Ghost Dog, son!  How could this not be good?  

If the name of the movie seems familiar in a Stallone context, that’s probably because you’ve seen “Rambo: First Blood Part II,” in which the titular character explains to his improbably attractive Vietnamese friend what the word expendable means: “It’s like someone invites you to a party and you don’t show up?  It doesn’t really matter.”

Sly wrote that script too, so just imagine what’s in store for us when “The Expendables” finally hits screens in 2010.  

("We’re gonna need that shirt back too.")

In an attempt to keep his name somewhat fresh in the minds of MMA fans who used to give a damn about him, Tito Ortiz will be appearing at an Affliction "Day of Reckoning" press conference in L.A. tomorrow; sources have indicated to MMA Weekly that Ortiz has agreed to sign with the promotion.

Though January 24th might be too soon a return date for Ortiz — who underwent back surgery in October — Affliction may be using a Tito-signing announcement to drum up more interest in their product, which certainly needs a push leading up to event #2. What we’re really curious about is what might have changed since August, when Tom Atencio called Ortiz’s contract demands "just not feasible." Did the HBBB get a little more realistic with his asking price, or did Affliction decide that they need Ortiz to boost pay-per-view buys, no matter what the cost?

Affliction’s light-heavyweight division isn’t particularly deep, but a few good matchups are possible for Ortiz. Renato Sobral and Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou are facing off next month, and a fight between the winner of that match and Ortiz would be compelling. Vladimir Matyushenko (who Ortiz previously defeated at UFC 33 in September 2001) and Antonio Rogerio Nogueira are also fighting at "Day of Reckoning," which provides another option. Assuming, of course, that Affliction will be around long enough to stage a third event. And assuming that "Day of Reckoning" will take place to begin with. But hey, if it makes sense to Tito, it makes sense to us.

(Ryan Bader, mid-"Woo!" Photo courtesy of UFC.com)

According to the Nevada State Athletic Commission’s list of medical suspensions issued after Saturday’s Ultimate Fighter 8 finale, newly-minted light-heavyweight winner Ryan Bader may not be immediately ready to begin his post-TUF career in the UFC due to a possible injury to his right hand. Bader must get the hand x-rayed and cleared by a doctor; without an official go-ahead, he’ll be out of action until June 9th.

Kevin Burns — who should just be happy to still be breathing after being knocked half-dead by a vicious Anthony Johnson head-kick — has to serve a mandatory suspension until February 9th with no contact until January 25th for possible left-orbital and left-ankle fractures. If his injuries aren’t cleared by a doctor, he could also be out until June 9th. Six other fighters from the event also took home medical suspensions — details are after the jump.

(‘Ayyyyeeee.’)

Patrick Cote‘s knee surgery was a success and he’s now walking again with the aid of a brace, according to MMA News.  So watch out, Anderson Silva.  In eight or nine months "The Predator" will be back to "fuck [you] up really bad" once more.  And I hear he’s been watching lots of YouTube videos during his convalescence, so this time he’ll be ready for your 52 Blocks.

Nah, just kidding.  He won’t.  And if he ever does get another shot at Silva, assuming he even wants one, he’ll have to get it the old-fashioned way: by hanging around until there is positively no one else left.

Wilson Gouveia is already trying to call next on the champ, telling Fighters Only that he could "fight Anderson Silva tomorrow if they let me."  Might want to get a couple more middleweight bouts under your belt first, Wilson.  Also might want to show that you can make the weight.

(‘Now we go for ice cream!’  Photo courtesy of NBC Sports.)

It was an MMA-tastic week what with the “Fight for the Troops” and the Ultimate Fighter 8 Finale both within a few days of one another, plus a little Adrenaline thrown in the mix.  And while the big boys mostly sat this one out and let the young up-and-comers vie for the spotlight, there were still plenty of gains and losses made.  Now it’s time to sort through the wreckage and see who’s up and who’s down with our arbitrary numerical rating system.

Josh Koscheck +87

Even after putting a hurting on Yoshida, the future is uncertain for Kos.  Is he the best welterweight no one really wants to see all that badly?  

Ryan Bader +102

Wrestler-turned-TUF winner proves he’s got more than just takedowns in his arsenal, going upside Vinny’s head with a big right hand.  Satisfying ending, but let’s see what he can do against a real UFC fighter before we get too excited.

Vinny Magalhaes -48

Trying to prove you can do something other than the thing you do really, really well is admirable, though not all that bright.

Phillipe Nover -19

For a guy who does so many things well, there sure is a huge hole in his game.  I’d get that fixed if I was you.

It took a couple days for the video to hit the ‘nets, but here’s the second round of Pat Miletich‘s win over Thomas "Wildman" Denny at Adrenaline MMA 2 last Thursday. Though it was Pat’s first knockout victory in over seven years, you’d think it’s how he earns his living. Watch as Miletich knocks Denny’s marbles out with a slicing right hook at the 0:55 mark, then closes the coffin with another one. The way Denny’s head bounced off the mat couldn’t have helped either. Sherdog has a full photo gallery from the event here. Rothwell looks he’s having a great time! (Check out FightChat.com to see the video of his fight against Chris Guillen.)

— Those of you who bought the UFC photography book Octagon when it was in its $2,500 limited-edition form are going to be kicking themselves right now. The coffee-table tome is now selling in a scaled-back trade edition for just $40, and UFC fighters will be making appearances this evening at Barnes & Noble locations in 20 cities to sign copies. The full list of cities/guests is here. Biggest name: Chuck Liddell representin’ in his hometown of San Luis Obispo. Smallest name: Eddie Sanchez holdin’ it down in Irvine. Sanchez still has a job? Irvine has bookstores?

— Despite the recent drama between his camp American Kickboxing Academy and the UFC, heavyweight up-and-comer Cain Velasquez will fight next at UFC Fight Night 17 (February 7th; Tampa, FL) against an opponent to be named later. Velasquez is currently 4-0 (2-0 UFC), with all wins coming via first-round TKO.

— Royce Gracie will appear as a playable character in the UFC’s upcoming 2009 Undisputed video game (Man, they’re really stretching to find guys who will sign that video game agreement.) Hopefully, other unlockable players in the game will include Art Jimmerson, Bruce Buffer, and the Just Bleed guy.

(Wandy stays ready, so he ain’t got to get ready.)

Now that we’re done with The Ultimate Fighter for a little while we can finally turn our attention to the stacked UFC 92 card at the end of the month.  With two titles (okay, one title and one “interim” thing) up for grabs, as well as the return of “Rampage” Jackson against arch-nemesis Wanderlei Silva, I’m looking forward to this event the way I used to look forward to Christmas until a couple years ago when I found out there was no Santa Claus.  It was my dad, all along.  You believe that shit?  No wonder my presents were always stained with bourbon and tears.    

UFC light heavyweight champ Forrest Griffin made a rare prediction for the event in an interview with MMA Fanhouse.  No, not a prediction for his own fight.  The way Griffin talks sometimes, he seems to think everyone’s a better fighter than he is (when asked if he thinks he deserves to mentioned along with guys like Anderson Silva and Fedor Emelianenko, he responded, “Fuck no,” which is accurate but still a little sad). But he did make a prediction for the Wanderlei-Rampage fight:

Oddsmakers would seem to kind of agree with Griffin, but with some picking Wanderlei as a slight favorite and some pegging it even, nobody seems entirely sure of anything in this fight.  Just to make things even more interesting, I suggest the UFC officially dub this a loser-goes-crazy bout.  Either that or a loser-grows-hair fight, and that just doesn’t offer the same immediate payoff.

(Props: Bloody Elbow)

If you feel like you didn’t get to hear enough about the awful-looking Kevin James film "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" during the Ultimate Fighter Finale, check out his appearance at the Spike TV Video Game Awards.  This sketch — which is every bit as cringe-inducing as the interview was and as the movie will undoubtedly be — clearly took about five minutes to write, including bathroom and coke breaks.  When they couldn’t figure out how to end it some genius came up with the idea to have Rampage come out and howl.  Problem solved.  I know Rampage and Kevin James are bros, but I feel like one is having a bad influence on the other here.

After the jump, Gary Goodridge’s terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day, and more.

(Props: MMA Madness)

Former WWE star and American Top Team student Bobby Lashley made his pro MMA debut at Mixed Fighting Alliance’s "There Will Be Blood" event in Miami on Saturday night, needing just 41 seconds to open up a cut on opponent Joshua Franklin’s forehead large enough for the fight to be stopped. It was an anti-climactic ending for the audience, but when the gash is shown at the video’s 1:52 mark, you’ll probably agree that it was the right thing to do. Maybe next time Lashley will be able to give fans a better sense of what he’s capable of.

Headlining the MFA event was a fight between former UFC stars Jeff Monson and Ricco Rodriguez, with Monson pulling out a unanimous decision win. The Snowman is reportedly considering a move back to the UFC — and may face Cheick Kongo in his return match — but will first head to Japan for a fight in Sengoku. Rodriguez’s loss to Monson snapped a five-fight winning streak; he has fought nine times in 2008, making this year the most active of his career. Video of the Monson/Rodriguez fight is after the jump.

(I owe you a beer, Efrain.)

This Yahoo! MMA Experts post about how favorite-playing bettors got killed at the TUF 8 finale inspired me to share my own experience from the event. On Friday, I opened a BetUS account to do my first-ever fight wagering with real money. (I’d already bet my esophagus on UFC 85, and took heavy losses.) I went easy for my first go-round, spreading $100 over five fights, and wound up losing $25 of it — not awesome for someone who claims to be an expert on this shit. Some highlights:

Biggest Win: Efrain Escudero ($20 bet for $55 profit)
Had we known that Phillipe Nover had no answer for Efrain’s takedowns, he obviously wouldn’t have been such a heavy favorite coming into the fight. Even with what we knew beforehand, I always thought that Nover/Escudero was a toss-up, with both guys carrying equal amounts of talent. I think the betting line fell prey to the "next Anderson Silva, next GSP" hype that was pumping up Nover, and EE’s +275 was too juicy not to take.

Worst “My Fault” Loss: $10 on Jules Bruchez
This kind of dumbassery is how sportsbooks make their money. My thought process was, “Eliot Marshall shouldn’t be -600 against anybody.” But that’s no reason to put cash on the other guy. Bruchez looked hopeless in his quarterfinal loss to Vinny on the show, and I should have known that he’d get owned by another BJJ ace. Still, the idea of turning my ten-spot into $40 was too seductive. What can I say, I’m a rube.