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15 Moments of Instant Regret [GIFs]

December, 2008

Tito Ortiz Continues to Jerk Us Around

Tito Ortiz MMA UFC
("We’re gonna need that shirt back too.")

In an attempt to keep his name somewhat fresh in the minds of MMA fans who used to give a damn about him, Tito Ortiz will be appearing at an Affliction "Day of Reckoning" press conference in L.A. tomorrow; sources have indicated to MMA Weekly that Ortiz has agreed to sign with the promotion.

Though January 24th might be too soon a return date for Ortiz — who underwent back surgery in October — Affliction may be using a Tito-signing announcement to drum up more interest in their product, which certainly needs a push leading up to event #2. What we’re really curious about is what might have changed since August, when Tom Atencio called Ortiz’s contract demands "just not feasible." Did the HBBB get a little more realistic with his asking price, or did Affliction decide that they need Ortiz to boost pay-per-view buys, no matter what the cost?

Affliction’s light-heavyweight division isn’t particularly deep, but a few good matchups are possible for Ortiz. Renato Sobral and Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou are facing off next month, and a fight between the winner of that match and Ortiz would be compelling. Vladimir Matyushenko (who Ortiz previously defeated at UFC 33 in September 2001) and Antonio Rogerio Nogueira are also fighting at "Day of Reckoning," which provides another option. Assuming, of course, that Affliction will be around long enough to stage a third event. And assuming that "Day of Reckoning" will take place to begin with. But hey, if it makes sense to Tito, it makes sense to us.

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Bader, Burns Face Lengthy Medical Suspensions After TUF 8 Finale

Ryan Bader UFC MMA The Ultimate Fighter TUF 8
(Ryan Bader, mid-"Woo!" Photo courtesy of UFC.com)

According to the Nevada State Athletic Commission’s list of medical suspensions issued after Saturday’s Ultimate Fighter 8 finale, newly-minted light-heavyweight winner Ryan Bader may not be immediately ready to begin his post-TUF career in the UFC due to a possible injury to his right hand. Bader must get the hand x-rayed and cleared by a doctor; without an official go-ahead, he’ll be out of action until June 9th.

Kevin Burns — who should just be happy to still be breathing after being knocked half-dead by a vicious Anthony Johnson head-kick — has to serve a mandatory suspension until February 9th with no contact until January 25th for possible left-orbital and left-ankle fractures. If his injuries aren’t cleared by a doctor, he could also be out until June 9th. Six other fighters from the event also took home medical suspensions — details are after the jump.

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Look Out World, Patrick Cote Is Walking Again!


(‘Ayyyyeeee.’)

Patrick Cote‘s knee surgery was a success and he’s now walking again with the aid of a brace, according to MMA News.  So watch out, Anderson Silva.  In eight or nine months "The Predator" will be back to "fuck [you] up really bad" once more.  And I hear he’s been watching lots of YouTube videos during his convalescence, so this time he’ll be ready for your 52 Blocks.

Nah, just kidding.  He won’t.  And if he ever does get another shot at Silva, assuming he even wants one, he’ll have to get it the old-fashioned way: by hanging around until there is positively no one else left.

Wilson Gouveia is already trying to call next on the champ, telling Fighters Only that he could "fight Anderson Silva tomorrow if they let me."  Might want to get a couple more middleweight bouts under your belt first, Wilson.  Also might want to show that you can make the weight.

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The Potato Index: The Week That Was


(‘Now we go for ice cream!’  Photo courtesy of NBC Sports.)

It was an MMA-tastic week what with the “Fight for the Troops” and the Ultimate Fighter 8 Finale both within a few days of one another, plus a little Adrenaline thrown in the mix.  And while the big boys mostly sat this one out and let the young up-and-comers vie for the spotlight, there were still plenty of gains and losses made.  Now it’s time to sort through the wreckage and see who’s up and who’s down with our arbitrary numerical rating system.

Josh Koscheck +87

Even after putting a hurting on Yoshida, the future is uncertain for Kos.  Is he the best welterweight no one really wants to see all that badly?  

Ryan Bader +102

Wrestler-turned-TUF winner proves he’s got more than just takedowns in his arsenal, going upside Vinny’s head with a big right hand.  Satisfying ending, but let’s see what he can do against a real UFC fighter before we get too excited.

Vinny Magalhaes -48

Trying to prove you can do something other than the thing you do really, really well is admirable, though not all that bright.

Phillipe Nover -19

For a guy who does so many things well, there sure is a huge hole in his game.  I’d get that fixed if I was you.

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Knockout of the Day: Pat Miletich Wastes Thomas Denny

It took a couple days for the video to hit the ‘nets, but here’s the second round of Pat Miletich‘s win over Thomas "Wildman" Denny at Adrenaline MMA 2 last Thursday. Though it was Pat’s first knockout victory in over seven years, you’d think it’s how he earns his living. Watch as Miletich knocks Denny’s marbles out with a slicing right hook at the 0:55 mark, then closes the coffin with another one. The way Denny’s head bounced off the mat couldn’t have helped either. Sherdog has a full photo gallery from the event here. Rothwell looks he’s having a great time! (Check out FightChat.com to see the video of his fight against Chris Guillen.)

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UFC Quick Notes: ‘Octagon’ Publicity Assault, Velasquez, Escudero + More

Octagon UFC book MMA

— Those of you who bought the UFC photography book Octagon when it was in its $2,500 limited-edition form are going to be kicking themselves right now. The coffee-table tome is now selling in a scaled-back trade edition for just $40, and UFC fighters will be making appearances this evening at Barnes & Noble locations in 20 cities to sign copies. The full list of cities/guests is here. Biggest name: Chuck Liddell representin’ in his hometown of San Luis Obispo. Smallest name: Eddie Sanchez holdin’ it down in Irvine. Sanchez still has a job? Irvine has bookstores?

— Despite the recent drama between his camp American Kickboxing Academy and the UFC, heavyweight up-and-comer Cain Velasquez will fight next at UFC Fight Night 17 (February 7th; Tampa, FL) against an opponent to be named later. Velasquez is currently 4-0 (2-0 UFC), with all wins coming via first-round TKO.

Royce Gracie will appear as a playable character in the UFC’s upcoming 2009 Undisputed video game (Man, they’re really stretching to find guys who will sign that video game agreement.) Hopefully, other unlockable players in the game will include Art Jimmerson, Bruce Buffer, and the Just Bleed guy.

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Forrest Griffin Predicts a Big Win For Wanderlei Silva


(Wandy stays ready, so he ain’t got to get ready.)

Now that we’re done with The Ultimate Fighter for a little while we can finally turn our attention to the stacked UFC 92 card at the end of the month.  With two titles (okay, one title and one “interim” thing) up for grabs, as well as the return of “Rampage” Jackson against arch-nemesis Wanderlei Silva, I’m looking forward to this event the way I used to look forward to Christmas until a couple years ago when I found out there was no Santa Claus.  It was my dad, all along.  You believe that shit?  No wonder my presents were always stained with bourbon and tears.    

UFC light heavyweight champ Forrest Griffin made a rare prediction for the event in an interview with MMA Fanhouse.  No, not a prediction for his own fight.  The way Griffin talks sometimes, he seems to think everyone’s a better fighter than he is (when asked if he thinks he deserves to mentioned along with guys like Anderson Silva and Fedor Emelianenko, he responded, “Fuck no,” which is accurate but still a little sad). But he did make a prediction for the Wanderlei-Rampage fight:

"I think Wanderlei is a bad man and Wanderlei will get him," Griffin said. "I’m not great at calling fights but that’s my honest opinion."
 
"He’s a good training partner and we’re becoming better friends because his English is getting better," Griffin said of Silva. "I’ve got nothing bad to say about Wanderlei. He will never get tired of punching you. There’s just no break in him. I think of myself as someone who’s willing to do as much as anyone, but he’s the one guy who might do more. That’s a bad dude. He’s hard to put out. If he was a video game, he’d have no life bar. You’ve got a life bar that goes down but his life bar doesn’t go down. That’s why I like watching him fight."
 

Oddsmakers would seem to kind of agree with Griffin, but with some picking Wanderlei as a slight favorite and some pegging it even, nobody seems entirely sure of anything in this fight.  Just to make things even more interesting, I suggest the UFC officially dub this a loser-goes-crazy bout.  Either that or a loser-grows-hair fight, and that just doesn’t offer the same immediate payoff.

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Ridiculous Videos: Rampage Jackson, Kevin James, & Gary Goodridge Embarrass Selves


(Props: Bloody Elbow)

If you feel like you didn’t get to hear enough about the awful-looking Kevin James film "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" during the Ultimate Fighter Finale, check out his appearance at the Spike TV Video Game Awards.  This sketch — which is every bit as cringe-inducing as the interview was and as the movie will undoubtedly be — clearly took about five minutes to write, including bathroom and coke breaks.  When they couldn’t figure out how to end it some genius came up with the idea to have Rampage come out and howl.  Problem solved.  I know Rampage and Kevin James are bros, but I feel like one is having a bad influence on the other here.

After the jump, Gary Goodridge’s terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day, and more.

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Video: Bobby Lashley Wins MMA Debut


(Props: MMA Madness)

Former WWE star and American Top Team student Bobby Lashley made his pro MMA debut at Mixed Fighting Alliance’s "There Will Be Blood" event in Miami on Saturday night, needing just 41 seconds to open up a cut on opponent Joshua Franklin’s forehead large enough for the fight to be stopped. It was an anti-climactic ending for the audience, but when the gash is shown at the video’s 1:52 mark, you’ll probably agree that it was the right thing to do. Maybe next time Lashley will be able to give fans a better sense of what he’s capable of.

Headlining the MFA event was a fight between former UFC stars Jeff Monson and Ricco Rodriguez, with Monson pulling out a unanimous decision win. The Snowman is reportedly considering a move back to the UFC — and may face Cheick Kongo in his return match — but will first head to Japan for a fight in Sengoku. Rodriguez’s loss to Monson snapped a five-fight winning streak; he has fought nine times in 2008, making this year the most active of his career. Video of the Monson/Rodriguez fight is after the jump.

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TUF 8 Finale: Betting Post-Mortem

Efrain Escudero The Ultimate Fighter TUF 8 MMA UFC
(I owe you a beer, Efrain.)

This Yahoo! MMA Experts post about how favorite-playing bettors got killed at the TUF 8 finale inspired me to share my own experience from the event. On Friday, I opened a BetUS account to do my first-ever fight wagering with real money. (I’d already bet my esophagus on UFC 85, and took heavy losses.) I went easy for my first go-round, spreading $100 over five fights, and wound up losing $25 of it — not awesome for someone who claims to be an expert on this shit. Some highlights:

Biggest Win: Efrain Escudero ($20 bet for $55 profit)
Had we known that Phillipe Nover had no answer for Efrain’s takedowns, he obviously wouldn’t have been such a heavy favorite coming into the fight. Even with what we knew beforehand, I always thought that Nover/Escudero was a toss-up, with both guys carrying equal amounts of talent. I think the betting line fell prey to the "next Anderson Silva, next GSP" hype that was pumping up Nover, and EE’s +275 was too juicy not to take.

Worst “My Fault” Loss: $10 on Jules Bruchez
This kind of dumbassery is how sportsbooks make their money. My thought process was, “Eliot Marshall shouldn’t be -600 against anybody.” But that’s no reason to put cash on the other guy. Bruchez looked hopeless in his quarterfinal loss to Vinny on the show, and I should have known that he’d get owned by another BJJ ace. Still, the idea of turning my ten-spot into $40 was too seductive. What can I say, I’m a rube.

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