(Sometimes you have only one friend, and he’s somewhere at the bottom of that next mug of beer.)

In a recent interview with Sportsnavi (via Suki) Takanori Gomi talks about his fall from the top of the lightweight division and his loss to Satoru Kitaoka (video here, and it doesn’t take long) in the Sengoku lightweight Grand Prix.  Give him credit for owning up to his poor performance, as Gomi more or less says that he has sucked lately and doesn’t seem entirely hopeful that things will get better.

As you saw, I couldn’t do anything. I suppose fans who knew me since PRIDE considered that I looked like a totally different person. I don’t even know why. I didn’t feel any energy in the ring. After the fight, I felt like I was free. I thought I fulfilled my duty.
- Do you mean that you resigned from a representer of the top lightweight fighter?
I suppose so. I hadn’t proven myself in the last few fights. I was training, yet everything was fall in apart. I couldn’t put together because my training wasn’t enough. My skills went down in the last 2 years. I experienced a lot in the last 2 years. I quit Kiguchi dojo without thinking well, and started my gym. I felt responsibility to take care of my students, and I was passive about my fight. I was just waiting and see who I fought with.
- The title of the tournament was “road to Gomi”
I have no excuse about my performance and my loss. Kitaoka was entirely better than me. I I hope he becomes a great champion and defends his title.

According to a new report on Sherdog, BJ Penn won’t be available for a lightweight title defense against Kenny Florian until late July or August, because he wants to spend time with his new daughter. Though Dana White — and BJ Penn’s facebook page — previously stated that the Penn/Florian tilt was a possibility to headline UFC 99 (June 13th; Cologne, Germany), it’s looking like the match could headline the as-of-yet unannounced UFC 101 or 102 cards.

If Penn does agree to a fight in late July, it will have been 14 months since the last time the UFC’s lightweight title was up for grabs — and eight months since Kenny Florian last stepped into the Octagon. It’s a long layoff, but whaddya gonna do:

It’s a bummer, but waiting for your title shot is still a better option than taking a placeholder bout just to stay busy, and running the risk of getting Paulo Thiago‘d.

Semi-Related: Even if Penn is ready to fight by early July, the lineup for the UFC’s monumental 100th (-ish) event (July 11th, Las Vegas) might already be too crowded. In addition to the GSP/Alves and Henderson/Bisping fights, the rumor of a Randy Couture vs. Fedor Emelianenko one-off match has reared its head again, thanks to UFC-approved journalist Kevin Iole.

Major props to CagePotato reader "Soorma" for passing along this circa-2001 clip of MMA crazyperson Drew Fickett getting called before the most testicle-crushing judge on television for a little misunderstanding involving golf balls being hit off the top of a car. Drew’s airtight defense? Like all women, the plaintiff is simply infatuated with him. It seems that the conflict started when, at a graduation party for a University of Arizona student, Drew just had to be that asshole who showed up in an Arizona State hat. (Wow, can Judy hand out the death penalty in situations like this?) FYI, everything after the 6:06 mark is unrelated junk, and part 2 is unembeddable for some reason, but you can check out the conclusion here. Basically, Drew’s cute girlfriend shows up as a character witness, Fickett loses the case — based on a single unreliable eyewitness, but whatever — and the U of A brats lift their noses at ASU. ("We don’t associate with people like him…everyone I talk to says he’s psycho.") THIS IS JUSTICE?

(Steve Cofield chats with Dan Hardy after UFC 95.)

By know you may have heard that Dan Hardy is following up on his big knockout victory over Rory Markham at UFC 95 by immediately angling for a fight with Marcus Davis.  He’s already taken some shots at Davis’ attempts to brand himself as a U.K. fan favorite, telling Sherdog.com that “The Irish Hand Grenade” is “not English; he’s not Irish. I was born here, and I’ve been bred here. I don’t mind taking on that challenge and showing him this is my home and not his.”

Boom.  Immediately this fight has a hook.  Not only does Hardy have a point – for all Davis’ attempts to sell us on his Irish heritage, the thick New England accent limits our suspension of disbelief, kilt or no – but he’s also taking a proactive role in his own matchmaking, which is a very smart move for a guy in his situation.

(Awww, that’s disturbing.)

Are you a huge Gina Carano fan looking for the perfect piece of memorabilia to let everyone know that your fascination with her has gone from strange to unsettling?  Then this is your lucky day.  Out friends at Fightlinker found someone on Ebay who is selling an autographed Gina Carano sports bra.  We don’t know what search the Fightlinker boys were doing when they stumbled upon this, but we can probably go ahead and assume it was weird.

This guy, however, takes weird to a whole new level.  He claims he got Gina to sign this at Xtreme Couture, and then he went and had it framed.  Which is, you know, what you do with ladies undergarments that have become collector’s items.  Now he’s giving you the chance to bid on it, starting at just $99.99 (plus shipping and handling).

Think of all the things you could do with it.  You could put it on your wall to scare off dates that you bring home.  You could lay it out on your bed and lie down next to it at night.  You could even give it as an entirely inappropriate gift to your girlfriend!  The possibilities are endless…

Sort of Related: Pieces of Rampage’s Tire For Sale

(Props: MMALinker)

Those of us who watched the Spike TV tape-delayed replay of UFC 95 were treated to a briskly paced broadcast that managed to fit a Spike-record nine fights into three hours. The only match that was left off the U.S. broadcast was the event’s leadoff scrap, a welterweight fight between Paul "Tellys" Kelly and Troy "Rude Boy" Mandaloniz, which Kelly took in a unanimous decision. It’s definitely worth watching; Mandaloniz comes out fast ‘n’ furious, like he’s looking for Knockout of the Night, or Fight of the Night, or both. But Kelly wakes up with about two minutes left in the round and inflicts some abuse of his own — with Wolfslair teammate Quinton Jackson shouting encouragement from cageside — and manages to slash the Hawaiian’s left eyebrow wide open before the round’s end.

The second frame starts off with some ground-and-pound by Kelly. Mandaloniz scores the mount later in the round, and briefly takes Kelly’s back, but Kelly brilliantly reverses and goes back to using Mandaloniz’s head like a punching bag. Rude Boy clearly doesn’t want any more after round two, yet he soldiers on for the final five minutes, which is more of a slower-paced boxing match until the 2:20-remaining mark, when Mandaloniz takes Kelly down. Unfortunately his submission attempts are rebuffed and it’s fist-eating time again. The fight’s actually a little closer than the scores would suggest, but Mandaloniz is the the one who looks like he got too close to a polar bear’s cubs, and there you have it.

From Round5MMA.com/blog via MMA Mania:

As decorative cubicle-toys go, this one is gonna be pretty gnarly. Check out the oversized head — which accentuates the oversized fangs and oversized power-beard — and those clublike fists. Of course, the real Andrei Arlovski is a little less impressive, which is probably for the best.

(Props: Free Fight Videos)

Fedor Emelianenko won the Russian Combat Sambo Championships this weekend.  Again.  All his fights in this tournament combined took less than a minute, including the one-sided finale above.  I know the Russians get a big kick out of seeing Fedor dominate this stuff, but I don’t see how.  Sure, he lost recently in the World Championships, on points, but still.  It’s like watching Kobe Bryant play in a tournament at your local YMCA.  Yeah, it might be cool to see him dunk on some dentist who played point guard in high school twenty years ago, but that novelty wears off quickly, especially if Kobe keeps showing up every year. 

In other Fedor news, Josh Gross says the fight with Josh Barnett could go down in July.  Kevin Iole is doing some public speculating about the UFC trying to lure Fedor to compete at UFC 100, which would also be in July.  If you had to lay odds, a fight with Barnett in Affliction seems like the safer bet, assuming Affliction is still in the fight business by then.

After the jump, War Machine gives an uncomfortable interview to RawVegas.tv in which he lays out his plan to commit suicide at a date to be determined in the future and also describes thinking before he acts as “hard.”  Indeed.  

(Photo courtesy of SI.com)

Another UFC event is in the books, which means it’s time again to see who’s up and who’s down according to the Potato Index’s arbitrary numerical rankings system.  It’s kind of like Bob Reilly’s poll, only we admit it’s total bullshit.  And at least this particular brand of bullshit is more fun.

Diego Sanchez +123

“The Nightmare” proved he can cut almost forty pounds and still go three rounds at a steady pace.  That could be bad news for some other lightweight contenders, though it would still be interesting to see how he stacks up against one of the better wrestlers in the division.  Sean Sherk’s not too busy, is he?

Joe Stevenson -88

Another disappointing performance for Stevenson leaves us wondering where he can possibly go from here.  He just doesn’t seem to have enough in his toolbox to hang with the top fighters, and secluding himself in Victorville, which is not known for its elite training facilities, certainly isn’t helping.

Demian Maia +204

If you’re going to do only one thing, you’d better do it extremely well, and Maia does.  He forces another quality opponent to fight on his terms and puts him away with impressive ease.  Is there any middleweight not named Anderson Silva who can pose a significant threat to him at this point?

(Courtesy of youtube.com/UFC.)

Between his exceptionally bright red shirt, his constant nut-slapping, and his lap dance for ring girl Logan Stanton, Quinton Jackson is the true star of this game-day edition of the Danavlog. Rampage is in good spirits throughout, and his March 7th battle against Keith Jardine seems to be the furthest thing from his mind. Other important points from this episode: Dana bought that instant snow just to mess with Lorenzo Fertitta, Diego Sanchez‘s hand isn’t broken, and GSP makes a very accurate observation about the way his training partner Nate Marquardt finished off Wilson Gouveia ("It looks like he took this move from a video game").

Below: The accents in this video are as thick as they come, but if you’re a fan of Demian Maia, you might be interested in this look at his training with Wanderlei Silva and strength/conditioning coach Rafael Alejarra.

(Props: WandFightTeam via MMA Mania)

(Who would answer a phone call from a strange number and take the time to respond to an automated poll question? These people.)

Just because we haven’t heard from New York Assemblyman Bob Reilly lately, it doesn’t mean he hasn’t been hard at work making our lives miserable. On Friday, we passed along a link to a news article about the poll that Reilly had recently commissioned to gauge his district’s support for legalizing MMA. Said Reilly via press release: 

Of course, the UFC immediately questioned the validity of the poll — which just 468 people responded to, out of 8,545 people who were harassed via telephone. UFC spokesperson Julie Wood called the results unrepresentative, considering the sole method of polling was through telephone, and that the poll question itself showed an inherent bias.

CagePotato reader Jeb R. sent us the official summary of Reilly’s poll — which includes the original poll question, and can be seen after the jump in its entirety — along with this note:

Potato Nation, this is the unbelievable level of ignorance we’re dealing with. But the fight is far from over. Please sign our "Lift the Ban on MMA in New York" petition if you haven’t already, and direct your friends to do the same. Another vote on the bill that would legalize MMA in New York State is expected to be held sometime this year.

(Props: Juggo)

It’s anybody’s guess what the spirits in Diego’s head were saying to him, but he obviously agreed 100%.

(Props: MMA Scraps)

Diego Sanchez engages in a kickboxing bout, while Joe Stevenson fights a boxing match.  When that happens, you can usually guess who’s going to win.  A strong debut at lightweight for Sanchez.  As for Stevenson, instead of considering your own drop in weight, as you may be tempted to, how about getting with a good camp and learning some new tricks?

More videos, including Maia-Sonnen, Koscheck-Thiago, and more are after the jump.

Josh Koscheck is clearly not happy about the stoppage in his UFC 95 fight with Paulo Thiago.  In this backstage video from The Telegraph he insists his hands were up, his eyes were open, and his guard was ready.  His cornermen seem to feel the early stoppage was part of a trend on the night — perhaps a dig at "regional referees" in the U.K.?

The replay showed that Koscheck was definitely out after the punch landed and may have come to when his head hit the mat, though how lucid he was at that moment is debatable.  What say you, Potato Nation?  Early stoppage, or whiny Koscheck?

(Uh-oh…. Photo courtesy of UFC.com)

With all the quick knockouts and ‘holy shit!’-style finishes at UFC 95 in London, selecting one for Knockout of the Night couldn’t have been easy.  

Evan Dunham and Dan Hardy both put their opponents away with a certain emphasis on unconsciousness, but it was Brazilian newcomer Paulo Thiago who earned the $40,000 bonus for his knockout of Josh Koscheck.  It might have helped that the uppercut which floored Koscheck came immediately after Joe Rogan criticized Thiago’s woefully inept striking skills.  It’s all in the timing.

Submission of the Night, also known as the Demian Maia Award, predictably went once again to Demian Maia, who made short work of Chael Sonnen using a a triangle choke he set up from the mount.  

And you guessed it, Fight of the Night went to the main event pairing of Diego Sanchez and Joe Stevenson.  It may not have been the most thrilling war we’ve ever seen, but it was longer than most of the matches at UFC 95, even if we learned everything we needed to know about how it was going to turn out in the first round.  Hopefully Nate Marquardt and Wilson Gouveia got a little something extra for their efforts too.

("Look, I’m not saying you have to touch your foreheads together like some of the other guys, but you have to understand how retarded this looks right now." Photo courtesy of Combat Lifestyle.)

Like the light from a distant star that died out millions of years before it can be seen from Earth, here we are about to watch the transmission of a UFC event that already happened, hours away and across an ocean. If you were able to avoid spoilers up until this point, pat yourself on the back. And I’d just like to take this opportunity to warn you that if you want to keep this experience totally pure, maybe stay away from the comments section for a while, because there’s always gonna be some sad loser who takes perverted joy in ruining things for the rest of us, when they’re not masturbating in their own feces. (No offense to "COOL!" or the guy currently pretending to be "Kadumel." You seem like a couple of interesting dudes and I’d love to get a beer and a burger with you sometime. Please get in touch with me here.)

Live Tape-delayed results and commentary for UFC 95 are after the jump. Refresh the page every few minutes to see all the latest…

(Tensions ran high at the Mr. Clean lookalike contest. Photo courtesy of UFC.com.)

Sounds like it was a good one, too. Spoilers after the jump…

(Courtesy of youtube.com/UFC)

If you felt a little down in the dumps last week, it’s probably because Dana White hasn’t been brightening your life with his UFC video blogs. As he explains, you only get those for pay-per-view shows. But because you’ve been so good, he’ll make an exception. In this installment, Dan Henderson sexually harasses the boss ("you got man boobs"), we get a look at one of Zuffa’s tape vaults, Dana spends a little time with his kids — LOL @ Frac‘s Spanish skills — crazy Diego Sanchez drops some rays of positivity, DW presses flesh in the pre-weigh-in receiving line, and tells his fighters to shake off the Internet haters. I gotta get me some of that instant snow.

(Yeah, I’m looking forward to this fight.  Thanks Combat Lifestyle, again.)

- Bob Reilly conducts local poll to prove people hate MMA in NY.  (CBS)

- Chuck Liddell now dating annoyingly vapid porn star?  (Cage Writer)

- UFC 97 sold out.  (UFC.com)

- Joe Stevenson advises Diego Sanchez not to piss off B.J. Penn.  (Setanta)

- Dana White talks UFC 100 plans.  (MMA Junkie)

- Spike TV says no to Full Tilt Poker as UFC sponsor.  (MMA Payout)

- How the UFC 97 compromise went down.  (Sportsnet.ca)

- Capoeira would be awesome if this happened every time.  (Break)

- Top 10 submission moves.  (Ask Men)

- Brian Vickers fires another shot.  (All Left Turns)

- Top 32 NFL draft prospects.  (Scores Report)

- 9 truthful celebrity autobiographies.  (Holy Taco)

- Oscar categories we’d like to see.  (Screen Junkies)

- Bar maid beats robber with his own crowbar.  (Nothing Toxic)

(‘I am experiencing now very much happiness!’)

The official Dream website announced the addition of two new bouts to Dream.7 on March 8, and one of them features Shinya Aoki taking on American fighter David Gardner.  What’s that, you say?  You’ve never heard of Gardner, who is 16-10 in his career and 2-2 in his last four fights?  Well don’t worry, because you’re not alone.

Apparently Aoki wanted a little tune-up before participating in April’s welterweight tournament, or maybe he was just worried that his tights would get mildewed if he left them in the closet too long between fights.  In any event, Aoki will get his chance to rack up another quick submission victory unless Gardner pulls off the crazy upset.  And if he does, what becomes of Aoki’s cherished WAMMA lightweight title?  Probably nothing, since the fight will reportedly take place at 163 pounds, and also because Aoki will almost certainly win unless he is struck down by the hand of God, which would be a new one for the Sherdog Fight Finder.

Oh yeah, also announced was Mitsuhiro Ishida taking on Daisuke Nakamura in a lightweight bout.  So there’s that, too.  The whole thing, including the scheduled featherweight tournament, is set to air on HDNet.

(Props: Bloody Elbow)

UFC 2009 Undisputed gives us another sneak peak with this look at UFC 95′s headliners. Poor Kenny Florian takes a heap of abuse, and he’s not even fighting tomorrow. How is that fair? Below: Iman Achhal is a CrossFit trainer and amateur fighter who makes her pro MMA debut tomorrow night against kickboxer/Fight Girl Felice Herrig. In this NBCWashington clip, she tells the story of what led her to MMA competition, which involves ditching an arranged marriage in Morocco and taking a savage beating from her own mother.

(Props: Cage Writer)

After the jump: You thought XARM was bad? MMA has hit a new low…

("Hell yeah, bro, and I didn’t even have to get that colonic!" Photo courtesy of Combat Lifestyle. For more from this set, click here.)

Weigh-ins for UFC 95 went down earlier today at London’s Dominion Theatre, with all fighters coming in at or below their limits. The only interesting results were in the heavyweight class, where Neil Grove made his 28-pound weight advantage official, and Stefan Struve managed to pack on enough bulk onto his Mr. Fantastic-esque frame to come in three pounds heavier than his opponent, Junior Dos Santos. Full results are below:

Diego Sanchez (156) vs Joe Stevenson (155)
Rory Markham (170) vs Dan Hardy (170)
Wilson Gouveia (185) vs Nate Marquardt (185)
Chael Sonnen (185) vs Demian Maia (184)
Paulo Thiago (169) vs Josh Koscheck (170)
Brian Cobb (155) vs Terry Etim (156)
Stefan Struve (240) vs Junior Dos Santos (237)
Mike Ciesnolevicz (235) vs Neil Grove (263)
Evan Dunham (154) vs Per Eklund (155)
Troy Mandaloniz (168) vs Paul Kelly (169)

Remember, we’ll be liveblogging the Spike TV tape-delayed broadcast starting at 9 p.m. ET; check local listings to see when the event will kick off in your ‘hood.

Semi-related: Former Cage Rage welterweight champ Paul Daley missed weight for his Maximum Fighting Championship 20 match tonight against Nick "The Goat" Thompson, and will forfeit 25% of his fight purse to Thompson. It’s the second consecutive time that Daley has weighed in over his 170-pound limit; in December he came in four pounds over for a fight against John Alessio at MFC 19. HDNet will broadcast tonight’s MFC event — which will feature UFC vets David Heath, Solomon Hutcherson, Rory Singer, and a welterweight title fight between Ryan Ford and Pat Healy — live at 10 p.m. ET.

(Ken Shamrock: haggard as he wanna be.)

Our boy Michael David Smith over at MMA Fanhouse conducted an interview with Ken Shamrock that can most charitably be described as ‘contentious.’  Give MDS credit, he doesn’t shy away from the tough questions, and neither does Shamrock.  After making vague remarks about why CBS refuses to work with him, Shamrock admits he is a fighter, “not a mastermind,” which naturally is news to us all.

But where things get interesting is when MDS presses Shamrock on his most recent sad display of something resembling fighting against 380-pound Ross Clifton.  Shamrock admitted that he only took that fight because he didn’t want to fight someone who might have reasonable chance of actually beating him, since this was just a ploy to set up a fight with Tank Abott, which, get this, may be on PAY-PER-VIEW.  Leave it to MDS to ask the questions you’re thinking:

But you think it is possible that you fighting Tank is something that could do well on pay-per-view?
I would absolutely say yeah. Especially since I fought some fat guy, out of shape, no good, and it got over 300,000 hits on YouTube, OK? So tell me. Some big, fat, out of shape, fat guy, is going to do bigger numbers than somebody fighting a main event fighter, like [Ken's adopted brother] Frank Shamrock and Nick Diaz, who probably won’t even get those numbers. And you’re saying that your opinion — which I didn’t know writers had one, I thought you were just supposed to write the story — is that because I did that, we got those numbers, we shouldn’t be going out there and having those fans watch that, even though they’re turning on the tube and they’re pushing in the numbers on the computer to watch that thing happen?

(Diego will try anything to get to 155.  Anything.)

With UFC 95 (which we’ll be liveblogging) just a day away, we took some time to berate one another regarding some of the more pressing issues surrounding the UFC’s trip to London.  Okay, so there’s essentially no main event here, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still have some fun with a night of free fights on Spike.  Plus, there are Chael Sonnen’s ridiculous claims to discuss, and so much more…

What are Diego Sanchez‘s chances as a lightweight contender? Who has the skills to beat him?

BG: His chances are freakin’ excellent. Sanchez was already the fifth best welterweight in the UFC by my count (after GSP, Alves, Fitch, and Koscheck), and he’s looked incredibly dangerous in his last two wins over David Bielkheden and Luigi Fioravanti. I was particularly surprised to hear that he was dropping to lightweight because it seemed like he was gathering steam for a title shot at welterweight. Think about it: Fitch and Kos have already been dominated by St. Pierre, and if Alves can’t beat the champ this summer, who else is ready?

("I finish sandwiches!")

As strange as it sounds, there was a time when Tank Abbott could demand $126,000 to fight for less than a minute. Unfortunately, his market value has slightly decreased since then. MMA Junkie reports that the veteran brawler received $20,000 for his 29-second completely-illegal knockout of Mike Bourke at last Friday’s Wargods: Valentine’s Eve Massacre — putting him second on the event’s salary list after Ken Shamrock’s $25,000. Abbott’s opponent Mike Bourke earned $5,000, while Shamrock’s opponent Ross Clifton collected $4,000, which he plans on donating to a good cause. If anybody cares, the rest of the numbers are after the jump. The show drew 2,805 attendees for a $90,745 live gate, $82,150 of which was paid out to the fighters. In other words, the promoters earned less than half of what Tank Abbott did. Slim profit margins of the MMA biz, people… 

          
(Not pictured: Chuck Liddell’s bloated-stomach attachment. Photos courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

If you still play with dolls (or have children that do), you may be interested in JAKKS Pacific’s upcoming line of UFC-related action figures and accessories, which will hit stores this fall. MMA Weekly passes along this press release laying out the details:

Watch Cage Fashion Show at Mix with Randy Couture on RawVegas.tv

RawVegas.tv sent Arianny Celeste to some weirdo MMA fashion show (I’m sorry, was that one dude wearing no shirt and a backpack?  How is that MMA related?) where she talked to Randy Couture about rumors that he may face Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic at UFC 99 in Germany.  Despite Fighters Only reporting that Couture flat out isn’t interested, he tells Arianny it’s a “possibility” if he gets done shooting “The Expendables” in time to get a full camp in.  Now that’s…disappointing.  As awesomely clichéd an action movie as that promises to be, isn’t Couture still a fighter?  And as such, shouldn’t fighting be his priority now that time is running out on his career?

The fighter formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver stopped by Steve Cofield’s radio show to discuss his legal troubles, and insists that these instances of assault were all misunderstandings.  You see, he’s actually the victim.  Wouldn’t be no trouble if people would stop forcing him to hurt them.  Interesting explanations.  Now what about those MySpace posts?

After the jump, “MMA Live” previews UFC 95.

(Two best middleweights, or just Demian Maia and some dude in a track suit?  Photo courtesy of Combat Lifestyle’s UFC 95 presser gallery.)

As UFC 95 approaches you may find yourself itching to do some prognosticating, but whither the pick –em contest?  Have no fear, Potato Nation.  Thanks to user Contraband, bragging rights are on the line in the (Un)Official Cage Potato UFC 95 Pick-em Contest, now jumping off in the forums.

Why not head over there and prove to the rest of us newbs how much you know about MMA by slamming down your picks for Saturday night’s event?  While you’re there, might as well comment on your favorite and least favorite MMA techniques, and take a look at Edith’s ass.  I mean, it’s right there.

If you’re curious as to how we see UFC 95 going down, our picks are after the jump.  And don’t forget about the liveblog on Saturday night.  Seriously, just don’t.

Now that they’ve got the green light from Montreal, the UFC has released the official lineup and bout order for UFC 97: Redemption, which will go down April 18th at Montreal’s Bell Centre. The event is headlined by the middleweight championship match between Anderson Silva and Thales Leites, and the true "redemption" match between sullied superstars Chuck Liddell and Mauricio Rua. Here’s how things will be arranged:

MAIN CARD
Anderson Silva vs. Thales Leites (for middleweight title)
Chuck Liddell vs. Mauricio Rua (LHW)
Krzysztof Soszynski vs. Brian Stann (LHW)
Cheick Kongo vs. Antoni Hardonk (HW)
Steve Cantwell vs. Luis Cane (LHW)

UNDERCARD
Denis Kang vs. Xavier Foupa-Pokam (MW)
Jason MacDonald vs. Nate Quarry (MW)
David Loiseau vs. Ed Herman (MW)
Mark Bocek vs. David Bielkheden (LW)
Ryo Chonan vs. TJ Grant (WW)
Sam Stout vs. Matt Wiman (LW)

It’s somewhat surprising that TUF 8 vet Krzysztof Soszynski is the only Canadian fighter on the UFC 97 main card, considering the north-of-the-border popularity of Denis Kang, Jason MacDonald, and David Loiseau; surely one of their bouts could have replaced Cane vs. Cantwell. The Montreal fans will just have to appreciate the undercard, which has a distinct "Canada vs. The World" flavor to it. Make your country proud, MacDonald and Loiseau, because Stout and Kang are pretty much dead weight at this point…

(Here’s what happened the last time Joe did a show in Columbus. Just think — you could be that drunk, Affliction-clad asshole.)

As first reported right here, UFC commentator/funnydude Joe Rogan is filming his next comedy special in March, to be broadcast on Spike TV. UFC.com has just posted this notice announcing the details:

In the event that you won’t be near Columbus on 3/5, at least take the above suggestion and start following Joe’s blog, where’s he’s been writing enormous and insightful posts about primate evolution, pursuing your passions amid uncertainty, and why Kellogg’s should lighten up about the Michael Phelps weed situation. Here, why don’t I just give you an excerpt from that last one: