11 Famous Actors and Their Embarrassing Early Film Roles

March, 2009

The 10 Fastest & Most Furious Knockouts of All Time: Willems vs. Nakila

MMA knockouts Fast & Furious video fight KO

#7: Chris Willems vs. Akoni Nakila @ Rumble on the Rock Beatdown 4 (7/14/07), 9 seconds

What you’re about to witness is the MMA equivalent of a walk-off home run. Chris “Red Bull” Willems gets a leg-kick checked at the start of this fight, but then reloads and goes upstairs — hard. The sound of foot impacting with face can be heard all the way in the cheap seats, and Akoni Nakila is comatose before he even hits the canvas. We’ve seen some gnarly head-kick KOs in our time, but this one is a freakin’ masterpiece; Cro Cop himself couldn’t have painted it better.

CLICK HERE FOR THE VID…

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Barnett Confronts Aleks Re: Shit-Talking, Take Two


(Making mean faces and threatening gestures isn’t just a hobby for Barnett, it’s a lifestyle.)

Despite the language barrier between them, Josh Barnett and Aleks Emelianenko still manage to maintain a fairly healthy war of words.  You might recall this video of Barnett trying to communicate to the other Emelianenko brother just how unafraid he was of a rematch with him when the two were both backstage at the first Affliction show last summer.  Then Aleks popped up recently to assure us all the he could totally fight in America, no matter what you heard, and also claimed he offered to fight Barnett but old Babyface refused to take him up on the offer.

Well, that’s about all you need to say to get Barnett to put your name in the streets on an internet forum.  And when he does, he’s not going to tiptoe around the  whole blood-borne disease issue:

It has come to my attention that Aleksander Emelianenko has been making very bold statements about me again. I have heard, from his own blog have you, that I have been offered a fight with him recently and refused and that I was scared when I approached him backstage at Affliction: Banned. Well, I for one have heard from many valid sources that Aleks has a blood borne disease such as Hepatitis B and with his abundance of tattoo work that could easily be the case. This rules out the possibility of fighting him in a sanctioned fight anywhere they require a blood test. I have not been offered any such fight with Aleks but will say this : If you want a rematch Aleks all you have to do is come up to me somewhere and say something. Talk any kind of shit you want and it’s on. If you got the guts, we will do it right then and there and I for one will make sure you won’t be able to ask for much of anything, let alone a rematch ,when I am done with you.
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Videos: “MMA Live,” the Greatest KO Ever

Hey, look who’s on "MMA Live."  Why, it’s Mike Chiapetta, who you might remember from those NBCSports.com segments on MMA before NBC threw up their hands and gave up on the sport altogether.  Now he’s writing for ESPN.com and filling in for Franklin McNeil alongside Kenny Florian.  Looks like NBC’s loss is ESPN’s gain.  In this episode the crew talks through the upcoming Fight Night event and touches on all the other pressing subjects of the moment.

You know what I like about this show?  It seems like they’re always talking about what we’re talking about it.  And by ‘we’ I mean the internet.  Maybe that’s because they’re an internet show, but they’ve really got their finger on the pulse of the online MMA community, which is probably meaningless to everyone but me.

After the jump, something just for fun.

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Bob Sapp, Start Working on Your Oscar Speech!

Bib Sapp Charlie Murphy Frankenhood movie poster
(Props: Fightlinker)

Bob Sapp has lent his hulking, cartoonish presence to such critically acclaimed films as Big Stan and Elektra, but his next movie, titled Frankenhood, could be his biggest challenge yet. DreadCentral (via Fightlinker) gots da synopsis:

Motown (DeRay Davis) and Darius (Jasper Redd) work in a morgue, trading put-downs and toiling among the most undemanding of customers. But outside of their decidedly dreary jobs, the two dream of bigger and better things. If only they could win the $25,000 prize that will go to the winners of the upcoming 3-on-3 Streetball Tournament. One night, having been demoted to graveyard shift, they run into their semi-sane colleague Franklin (Charlie Murphy) in a dark alley outside the morgue. They find Franklin using the auto battery of Motown’s precious Gremlin to bring to life a monstrous dead man (Bob Sapp) whose heart Franklin has just replaced. That 3-on-3 basketball tournament isn’t looking so bad…if they can just get their new mutant friend to play basketball!

Holy Fucking Shit. It’s like a Tracy Jordan movie, but real. It’s also worth mentioning that the director of Frankenhood is a man named Blaxwell Smart, which I’m convinced is just a pseudonym for Ron Howard.

You have to give Bob credit — the man has never been afraid to humiliate himself for money. But here’s the problem: Who would look at Sapp’s dead body and think "basketball ringer"? He’s about as tall as a shooting-guard, and on the wrong side of 350 pounds. When Michael J. Fox put on the fur suit in Teen Wolf and started dunking on fools, I was like, "yeah, I can see that happening." Now cut to the set of Frankenhood, where a dangerously winded Bob Sapp is sucking an oxygen mask after doing one take of a scene where he has to zombie-walk downcourt.

Another question: What are Motown and Darius going to do with that $25,000 prize to turn their lives around? (Don’t say "scratch tickets.") And what will happen to their mutant friend after they’ve achieved their goal? Are they just going to rip out his battery and shove him in the dumpster? Can JB Smoove possibly save this wreck? Will Tyler Perry direct the sequel? Is it weird that I kind of want to rent this movie to see how it plays out?

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DREAM 8′s Lineup Isn’t Looking Too Awesome

Hayato Sakurai Shinya Aoki MMA Japan DREAM
("I used to be an AFC like Shinya. Now that I’ve learned the Mystery Method, I pull more tail than Hayato.")

DREAM’s 2009 welterweight grand prix kicks off April 5th at DREAM 8, and four of the tournament matchups have just been announced, along with a few features in other weight classes. The event will be headlined by a rematch between Shinya Aoki and Hayato "Mach" Sakurai; Sakurai previously won a decision over Aoki at a Shooto event in August ’05. Check out the current lineup below, and keep in mind that the opening round kicks off ten days from now, and only half the field is assembled. Not that this is the first time that DREAM hasn’t had all their GP participants locked down before the opening round, but this is really pushing it…

Welterweight GP Fights
Shinya Aoki vs. Hayato “Mach” Sakurai
Sergei Kharitonov vs. Jeff Monson (heavyweight)
Ikuhisa "Minowaman" Minowa vs. Katsuyori Shibata (194-pound catchweight)
Andrews Nakahara vs. Shungo Oyama (middleweight)
Murilo "Ninja" Rua vs. Dong Sik Yoon (middleweight)
Hideo Tokoro vs. Daiki "DJ.taiki" Hata (featherweight GP fight)

I don’t see how the winner of Aoki/Sakurai doesn’t just pwn the fuck out of this field, which is easily the weakest of any DREAM GP to date. Shirai and Ikemoto are local jobbers, and UFC/WEC-castoff John Alessio is only slightly better. High just got owned by Jay Hieron at Affliction: Day of Reckoning; too bad the Thoroughbred isn’t available for this tournament. And while Andre Galvao is a stud when it comes to jiu-jitsu, he’s underexperienced in MMA. There’d better be some big names attached to those last four spots, or the tourney could be a gigantic bust.

And the other bouts on the card aren’t much better. The Kharitonov/Monson clash could be entertaining, but of the six men in the other non-GP bouts, only Minowaman and Ninja have winning records. Seriously. DREAM is hoping for a big ratings resurgence when they return to a decent time-slot, but it’ll be hard to get fans interested — especially in the U.S., where once again, HDNet is airing the event days later on tape-delay.

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Junie Browning Exclusive: Cole Miller Is Just Trying “To Convince Himself”


(Your daughter’s prom date is here…)

When I called Junie Browning to see how he was feeling a week before his first UFC fight since “The Ultimate Fighter” finale, he was out shopping for video games.  It might not seem like it at first, but this is apparently a sign of how much his life has changed since moving to Las Vegas to train at Xtreme Couture and getting serious about his fighting career.  Now he trains full-time.  Despite living in Sin City, he doesn’t go out much.  Instead he stays home and plays Killzone or Resident Evil 5 in between training sessions.  It occupies his time.  And it keeps him out of trouble.

“All I do is train now,” he said.  “I’m in awesome shape right now.  Better than I’ve ever been, training harder than I ever have.  I’ve done more for this than I have for any other fight.”

At next week’s Ultimate Fight Night in Nashville Browning takes on former TUF contestant Cole Miller, who has vowed to “expose” and “smash” him.  You’d think that kind of language would get a reaction out of the volatile kid from Kentucky we saw on TUF, but oddly, you’d be wrong.

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Video: Welcome to Wanderlei Silva’s Gym and Daycare!

(Via RawVegas.tv)

Well, this is far less awkward than Wanderlei Silva’s advertisement/guided tour of his own gym, because this time around we have a native English speaker to help us make sense of what the hell’s happening.  Dave Farra is also crafty enough to use the tour of the facility as a ruse to ask Silva the hard questions, like, does he think GSP cheated?  ("He dominate the fight, he don’t need this, no?")  Does he want another shot at “Rampage” Jackson?  ("Of course.")  ‘Sup with the playground?  ("The kids need to have fun too, you know?")

I’m satisfied with those answers.  Although I am surprised to hear that Silva had a six-month training camp before the Jackson fight.  On one hand, that can’t be a good idea.  On the other hand, if only you could put Silva’s work ethic in B.J. Penn‘s body.

After the jump, Dana White talks more about the death of TapouT’s “Mask” and explains why the news hit Chuck Liddell especially hard.

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‘TUF 9′ Preview: Dana White Welcomes the Brits to the Ultimate Fighter, Motherf*cker

Michael Bisping The Ultimate Fighter MMA UFC
(Props: Spike.com. Click the image to see the video.

Spike TV has released a new preview clip for The Ultimate Fighter: United States vs. United Kingdom (premiering April 1st at 10 p.m. ET/PT), in which UFC prez Dana White arrives at Wolfslair to check out the British hopefuls during the elimination round. We learn that before their fight at UFC 93, Rich Franklin and Dan Henderson both had to fly to England to assess the talent, just in case, and we get a taste of the first indecipherable British accent when Gary Kelly pronounces "my record" as "me lachoad." Unsurprisingly, Gary is the brother of Paul Kelly, who has already become infamous for his post-fight interviews. Where the hell are these two from, anyway? Mushmouth-upon-Tyne?

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The 10 Fastest & Most Furious Knockouts of All Time: Grove vs. Thompson

Fast & Furious knockouts MMA videos

#8: Neil Grove vs. James Thompson @ Cage Rage 22 (7/14/07), 10 seconds

Three years after his embarrassing 11-second destruction at the hands of Fedor’s younger brother, James Thompson managed to shave one second off of his personal getting-knocked-out record during this Cage Rage match against 2-0 rookie Neil Grove. Following a very brief feeling-out process, Grove starts swinging his big meathooks around until one of them connects squarely on Thompson’s glass chin, sending the Colossus facedown onto the mat for a lil’ nap. The announcer immediately calls the stoppage “UN-BA-LAY-VA-BOWL,” but honestly, what did you expect to see in a fight between two British heavyweights — a flying gogoplata?

CLICK HERE FOR THE VIDEO…

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Just How Detached From Reality Is Chuck Liddell?


(Go ahead.  Tell Chuck you forgot to order the ice cream cake for his birthday party.  I’m sure he’ll understand.)

As Chuck Liddell prepares to try and prove to Dana White and the rest of the MMA world that he still belongs in the UFC, some recent comments seem to suggest that he maybe he has suffered serious head trauma after all.  Regarding his goal to take back the UFC light heavyweight strap, Liddell told Fighters Only:

“I don’t plan on letting [Rashad Evans] stay champ for long. I thought I was winning that fight. I made a mistake, got caught and dropped. I was winning the fight up until then.  People ask me about retiring after that fight. It wasn’t like I got my ass kicked and then got knocked out. I was winning the fight, got sloppy for a second and got caught. I made a mistake.”

[Sigh]  I can’t help but feel like he’s using the old ‘got caught’ explanation as a crutch here.  Yes, he got caught in the sense that he left himself wide open and was absolutely hammered by a right hand from Evans.  But he wasn’t really winning the fight up until then.  He wasn’t losing, either.  The fight was fairly even with little significant action.  And then he got knocked out.

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