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Goodbye, Girls of Summer... (47 Pics)

March, 2009

Afternoon Video Dump: UFC 97 In-Depth, Der Fuhrer Is Unhappy + More


(Props: MMA Mania)

Lots to point your eyeballs at today. First, there’s the above extended trailer for the UFC’s next pay-per-view event, #97 in Montreal on April 18th. The theme, of course, is "Redemption" — Anderson Silva wants to make up for his unsatisfying last performance against Patrick Cote, while Mauricio Rua and Chuck Liddell battle to regain their relevence. The best moment comes at the 4:41 mark, where Thales Leites says "He has to kill me, you know, or I will take this belt," and Silva gives the camera a look that says it all: Which do you think is more likely to happen?

Below: The best MMA-related video remix we’ve seen all year. In this take on the much-parodied "Hitler blowup" scene from Downfall, Adolf’s underlings have to explain to him why Fedor Emelianenko won’t be fighting in the UFC. It doesn’t go well.


(Props: "Card" on the UG)

After the jump: Bruce Buffer hints that an unprecedented 360-degree Buffer Turn could be in our future, and Rashad Evans discusses his transition to movie-fighting on the set of Death Warrior.

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Exclusive: Ryan Bader Talks Post-TUF Debut, Being a Wrestler in the UFC, and Junie Browning’s Curious Path to Stardom

On April 1 Ryan Bader makes his first UFC appearance since knocking out Vinny Magalhaes to win the last season of “The Ultimate Fighter.”  The former Arizona State wrestling standout now has to live up to his billing with a victory in his first post-TUF bout against experienced vet Carmelo Marrero.  But as Bader told us in our exclusive talk with him, he’s aware that winning is necessary, though it isn’t enough by itself.  He also has to entertain, and therein lies a difficult conflict for a wrestler trying to dazzle knockout-happy crowds.

CagePotato.com: Thanks for talking with us, Ryan.  Now that you’re the TUF winner and getting ready to start your UFC career, is it how you though it would be when you first started on the show?

I went into the show and set high goals for myself.  My goal was to make it to the finale.  That was as far as I thought.  Then I did that and there was six months until the finale, and obviously my goal was to win the whole show.  But I set little goals for myself and accomplished them one at a time, and then set bigger goals.  After I won the show, my goal became to keep winning the fights in front of me, and that’s where I am now.  Eventually my goal is to have the belt.  I don’t want to be just another fighter.  I want that belt.  I know it’s going to take a long time.  I need to grow as a fighter and that’s all a long way off, so my immediate goal is to win each fight and chip away at the division.

I read recently where you said you thought too many wrestlers were taking unnecessary risks to win fights in exciting fashion.  When you fight, do you struggle with trying to be exciting and also not taking too many chances?

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Full Tilt Poker Joins UFC’s Banned Sponsors List


(Wild Bill Hickok is inconsolable upon hearing the news.)

If you’re sick of seeing nearly every fighter in the UFC coming down to the Octagon covered in Full Tilt Poker logos, we’ve got some good news for you.  The UFC sent out an email to managers yesterday informing them that Full Tilt Poker would not be allowed as a sponsor at UFC events “until further notice.”

So what did Full Tilt do to draw this ire?  Did they maybe steal some shelf space in Wal-Mart or (please God let this be the explanation) decide to start their own MMA organization – Full Tilt Xtreme Combat – where they put all their eggs in the War Machine basket?  Sadly, it doesn’t seem to be anything so fun.

Rumor has it that Full Tilt might have been nixed in favor of a competing sponsor, Ultimate Bet, which runs Absolute Poker (you following any of this?).  This is still unconfirmed, and if true it might be problematic since Ultimate Bet was apparently involved in some huge cheating scandal.

It seems more likely that the pressure to remove Full Tilt as a sponsor was coming from Spike TV, who put a kibosh on Full Tilt signage at UFC 95 and likely didn’t feel any more inclined to allow them at next week’s Fight Night.  Too bad, since they were one of the highest-paying fighter sponsors the UFC had.  Looks like it’s time for some managers to swallow their pride and make a call to Condom Depot.

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The 10 Fastest & Most Furious Knockouts of All Time: Azeredo vs. Kotani

MMA Knockouts Fast & Furious UFC videos

#10: Luiz Azeredo vs. Naoyuki Kotani @ PRIDE Bushido 9 (9/25/05), 11 seconds

The unspoken first rule of Chute Boxe seems to be, “When you’ve got a guy hurt, hurt him worse.” Representing the notoriously aggressive Brazilian camp at PRIDE’s 2005 lightweight tournament was Luiz “The Joker” Azeredo, who may as well have taken a baseball bat to the ring with him during his quarterfinal match against Naoyuki Kotani. Azeredo wastes no time in dazing the Japanese fighter with a dead-on right straight, then place-kicks Kotani’s melon like he’s aiming for a set of goalposts 40 yards downfield. The knees to the head that came directly after might have been a bit unnecessary, but the Joker was too consumed by bloodlust at that point to stop. Despite his intimidating opening-round performance, Azeredo went on to lose a decision to Takanori Gomi later that night. As for Kotani, he has finally regained the use of his lower body, though he still pronounces his “th”s as “f”s.

CLICK HERE FOR THE VIDEO…

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Fighters Only Caption Contest — The Glorious Finalists

Fedor Emelianenko Sambo

After sifting through the entries to our latest caption contest, we’ve chosen eight finalists. Check ‘em out below, and use the poll on the right (scroll down a bit) to pick your favorite — the five people with the most votes will all score subscriptions to either the U.S. or Canadian versions of Fighters Only magazine; the other three are losers and will get nothing. (Okay, maybe we’ll send ‘em a t-shirt.) Results will be announced tomorrow. Thanks to everyone who entered!

***

Batman: After Fedor’s circumcision, the Russian Team celebrates because they now have enough meat to eat for a year.
[Ed. note: This has to be the front-runner for first-place, considering all the love it was getting by other commenters.]

SiDeBuRnZ: In mother Russia, sky go youdiving.
[Ed. note: Yakov Smirnoff would be proud.]

danomite: Everyone was happy til someone told Fedor that Nicoli forgot the ice cream. A mass funeral service will be held tomorrow at 2 pm.

philaxler: Fedor returning from his glorious arm bar victory over God.

MitchBanks: "Light as a Fedor, stiff as a board."
[Ed. note:We were surprised at how many of you made reference to that girls' slumber-party game, but whatever.]

mayhem420: 3 cheers for Emelianenko!?
Hep hep hooray?
hep hep hooray
?hep …..oh sorry that’s the other Emelianenko!

Michael W.:
"Finally, Jerry Millen‘s lips are off of my ass"

El Famous Burrito:
? Believe it or not,? I’m walking on air. ?I never thought I could feel so free. ?
? With two ice cream cones and a really gay sweater.? Who could it be?? Believe it or not it’s just me. ?
[Ed. note: Great attention to detail, Burrito. Those musical notes really sell it.]

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Lost in Translation? Machida Says He Drinks His Own Urine…Every Day


(Just tell me you didn’t kiss him.)

Lyoto Machida recently talked with Brazilian website/magazine Tatame about his training and preparation for his title fight against Rashad Evans at UFC 98, and he decided to disclose a secret that he probably should have just kept to himself: “The Dragon” drinks his own urine.  Every day. 

Even worse, he learned it from his father:

“My father does that for a long time and bring it to us. People think it’s a joke (laughs). I never said it in the United States because I don’t know how the fans will react (laughs). I drink my urine every morning like a natural medicine.”

We’ll soon find out how American fans will react.  My guess is they’ll scrunch up their faces and say, with one loud, clear voice, ‘You nasty, Lyoto!’

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Video: Jason Miller Talks ‘Bully Beatdown’


(Mayhem discusses his opus with the KTLA morning news jackasses.)

I want to hate Jason "Mayhem" Miller’s “Bully Beatdown.”  I really do.  Not only is it an incredibly stupid idea that bastardizes and trivializes MMA and bullying (both of which are close to my heart), it also features Mayhem acting the fool for MTV.  And yet, after watching episode one (which doesn’t work when I embed it for some reason), I was actually somewhat entertained.  

Miller brings in Tony “The Gun” Bonello (who was bullied pretty bad by “Ninja” Rua in his last outing) to rough up a guy who’s been bullying his older brother while also paradoxically sporting a tattoo that reads “Family First.”  What follows isn’t even close to MMA (one round of grappling followed by one round of kickboxing is obviously some bullshit), but it is oddly satisfying in the way that seeing a bully get bullied always is.  Think of it as "Pros vs. Joes" with more personal acrimony and less time wasted on soccer and swimming and other nonsense.

After the jump, something only kind of related to MMA, but close enough.

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Gomi Looks to Recover His Fire in Shooto

Takanori Gomi MMA Kitaoka Sengoku Japan
(Satoru Kitaoka finishes Takanori Gomi at "Sengoku no Ran 2009" in January. I’m not sure feet are supposed to bend that way.)

Before he rose to international fame as PRIDE’s most dominant lightweight, Takanori Gomi was a local hero in Japan’s Shooto league, where he reigned as the 154-pound champ from December 2001 to August 2003. Now, after two upset losses to Sergey Golyaev and Satoru Kitaoka in Sengoku, the Fireball Kid is heading back to his roots. Writes Japan MMA:

Shooto will hold the final event in their Tradition series (celebrating 20 years of Shooto) in May. The event will take place in JCB Hall, where also the first "Tradition" event took place…Former champion Takanori Gomi will return to Shooto and will take on the current [154-pound] champion Takashi Nakakura in what should be an awesome fight. Nakakura is on a 5 fight winning streak and has not lost since August 2005 when he fought Mitsuhiro Ishida.

As we learned recently, Gomi’s head hasn’t been in the game for a while, so maybe a stint on a smaller, familiar stage will help him find his confidence  and regain his competitive spark. Of course, the fight with Nakakura is a must-win for Gomi’s career, and the current Shooto champ is no pushover. Can Gomi get his balls back, or will he join the ever-growing club of former PRIDE legends whose skills have mysteriously evaporated? (President: Wanderlei Silva / Treasurer: Mirko Cro Cop) Nakakura’s last fight, a rear-naked choke victory over Bendy Casimir, is after the jump.

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A Pleasant Escape to an Alternate Reality

I was watching this clip from "UFC 2009: Undisputed" and getting excited about how realistic the gameplay footage looks (except for Edith’s breasts, which, let’s be honest, don’t move anywhere near that much), and then Nate Diaz submitted B.J. Penn in the first round and the illusion was shattered.  

Okay, so it’s just a game.  And just like I’ll never steal any cars in real life (though I might ‘borrow’ it just to make a beer run), Nate Diaz will never take B.J. Penn’s back and choke him out with his feet crossed in front of him within two minutes.  It’s a fun little fiction, though.

If you look closely during the gameplay clip, you probably noticed two things: 1) Nick Diaz is not mean-mugging it up in his brother’s corner, and this is a real shame, and 2) there are no shortage of advertisements plastered all over the Octagon.  TapouT, MMA Warehouse, Harley-Davidson, Xyience, etc.  All the UFC’s closest friends get some play in “Undisputed,” and as the guys from MMA Payout have noted, this is worth a little something.  They cite an AdWeek report that estimates in-game advertising will be a $2 billion-a-year business by 2010.  

Since the UFC is making fighters sign over the rights to their video game images in perpetuity or else face the wrath, that’s money that will be going straight into the UFC coffers.  They won’t even have to offer the fighters a split of it when they make a new game in 2011 that brings in even more ad revenue and features Junie Browning going up in weight to knock Georges St. Pierre out cold in thirty seconds.

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Videos: Even Tito Ortiz Knows Enough Not to Sign With Affliction Now, + More

Tito Ortiz was in Vicksburg, Mississippi talking with 8CountNews.com in this video interview, and it sounds like he’s changed his mind about fighting for Affliction, which is probably a good idea, considering their future plans.  Now Ortiz says he’s “going to pass” on an Affliction contract in the hopes that he can sign with Strikeforce to fight on CBS or Showtime, assuming they’re amenable to his famously ridiculous contract demands.

Honestly, is anyone out there really dying to see Ortiz back in action?  He has some name value and can still hype a fight with the best of them, but to hear him talk sometimes you’d think the whole MMA world was eagerly awaiting his return, as if he’s still a top-ten fighter and not someone who just got bounced out of the UFC.  Though to hear him talk you’d also think he did a good job commentating at the last Affliction show, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.  

After the jump, a little taste of what you can expect from the coaches in the next “Ultimate Fighter” season.  

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