So No Fear has this new promotion called Earn Some Cred, where the grand prize is a trip to an MMA event. You crack open specially marked cans of No Fear Energy Drink, find the code under the tab, enter that code at earnsomecred.com, and earn points toward No Fear gear — or if you’re lucky, win tickets to the big show.

But why go through all the trouble? We’re going to hook you up with some NF swag right here, right now. That is, if you can predict the results of the "Strikeforce: Shamrock vs. Diaz" main card better than anyone else reading this. To refresh your memory, here’s what we’ll be looking at on Saturday night:

Frank Shamrock vs. Nick Diaz (179-pound catch weight)
Gilbert Melendez vs. Rodrigo Damm (lightweights)
Scott "Hands of Steel" Smith vs. Benji "Razor" Radach (middleweights)
Cris “Cyborg” Santos vs. Hitomi "Girlfight Monster" Akano (140 pounds)
Brett "The Grim" Rogers vs. Ron "Abongo" Humphrey (heavyweights)

And here’s what you need to do…

With the Nick Diaz/Frank Shamrock Strikeforce bout just a few days away, now seems like as good a time as any to look back on some of the notable moments from the career of each man and then speculate irresponsibly as to who will take this one.  Above, you see Nick Diaz’s crowning achievement – his victory over Takanori Gomi.  What a shame that those facists at the athletic commission insisted on drug testing him afterwards and then changing the result to a no contest because of a little shitload of weed in his system.

Nonetheless, we know what happened.  Diaz proved two important things in this fight: 1) he can take a beating, and 2) he’s always a threat to submit you, especially in transition and off his back.  However, in this fight we also see the patented Diaz striking style.  His hands out in front, his head a stationary target, coming forward and wearing you down with accumulation of strikes more than with power.

Now let’s take a look at something recent from Shamrock’s portfolio.

(Sure, when I try to take photos of the Octagon Girls getting dressed it’s "creepy," but when Arianny does the same thing it’s fun and whimsical. It figures. Photo courtesy of MissAriannyCeleste.com)

You might remember a while back when we posted UFC Octagon girl Arianny Celeste’s profile video for the Maxim “Hometown Hotties” competition and she mentioned her aspirations to be a rock/pop singer.  Intrepid Cage Potato reader Maxwell discovered that Arianny now has her own MySpace music page, which has, as of this writing, all of two songs on it.

I’d say rock/pop is a fair description of the genre.   Her songs are about on par with the cookie-cutter stuff you hear on the radio, though she doesn’t quite hit all the notes at times, so maybe they should add a little of that T-Pain effect to smooth it out.  As Maxwell points out, her song “Superficial” seems, shall we say, heavily “influenced” by this Avril Lavigne joint.

Arianny would be the first to make a successful jump from Octagon girl to pop sensation, and there’s probably a good reason you don’t see much crossover between those careers.  For one, they appeal to different demographics.  Dudes may ogle ring girls and buy magazines with pictures of them, but those same dudes are probably not buying Avril Lavigne CD’s (except the guys at Fightlinker, who like anything Canadian, even Alan Thicke).  But hey, she’s off to a good start with the MySpace music page.  They don’t let just anyone put their music on the internet.

vs.

(A cunning array of STDs. Photo courtesy of Zimbio.)

What do you get when you cross two wrestlers from Arizona with one porn chick from the Valley? COMEDY GOLD. After sifting through seven pages of captions from last week’s impromptu contest, we’ve decided that these five are worthy of free t-shirts:

bpd: Bader learns the hard way that C.B. stands for "Cock Block"

Landertime: Fucking her would prove nothing, CB. You chose your sexuality when you put on that jacket.

El Famous Burrito: The scent of semen and raw fish in the air causes Ryan Bader to flash back to his TUF days.

Wyatt: Pictured: Three of the biggest pussies you’ll ever see.

Homoplata: Gianna: "Sorry Ryan, not tonight, I saw how boring you can be on top."

If you’re one of the fab five, please send your name, address, and shirt size to feedback@cagepotato.com, and we’ll hook y’up. And congrats to Gianna Lynn for being nominated for Best All-Girl Group Sex Scene (Girlgasmic) at the 2009 AVN Awards. You’re so much more talented than those other bitches!

In the wake of Shinya “The Man In Tights” Aoki’s TKO loss to “Mach” Sakurai at Dream.8, a lot of MMA pollsters are debating what this does to Aoki’s status in the lightweight division and his pound-for-pound ranking.  As we’ve said in the past, rankings are mostly useless speculation, but fun nonetheless, so we’ll entertain for the moment the idea that this is worth debating.  

When determining how Aoki deserves to fall in the rankings, you have to take a few different factors into consideration:

1) Quality of Opponent
The simple rule is, if you lose to a guy you were expected to lose to, you don’t suffer much from it.  It basically means you, like the Chicago Bears, are who we thought you were.  But if you lose to a guy you were expected to beat, like a Paulo Thiago, it can hurt you bad.  Sakurai is a solid fighter.  He’s been around forever, has beaten some good fighters and lost to some great fighters.  He consistently hangs around the perimeter of the welterweight top ten, so there’s no shame in dropping a fight to him, at least if you looked like you belonged in there with him.  Which leads us to our next variable…

(Why didn’t someone tell me about this shirt before now? I take back every negative thing I’ve said about Jesus Didn’t Tap. Clearly, they have a sense of humor.)

You know something is big when churches begin using it as a gimmick to get people in the pews on Sunday.  Pastor Tom Skiles from the Spirit of St. Louis church in Arnold, Missouri is hoping to capitalize on the popularity of MMA and the UFC on Easter Sunday with a service that’s chock full of copyright infringement.  He calls it “Easter in the Octagon: The Ultimate Fighter,” and describes it thusly:

“The Ultimate Fighting is something we’re doing to promote to the guys. We want to make Easter relevant again. We don’t want to make it about lilies and nice dresses. When they walk in we’ll have a chain link fence set up, it’ll be set up like an octagon. We’ll talk about fact that Jesus didn’t tap out, he was an ultimate fighter.”

Pastor Tom is apparently fed up with the notion that Christians should be “nice guys.”  He rejects the idea that Jesus was some philosophical, other cheek-turning “hippie,” and instead would like to remind you that the answer the question, ‘What would Jesus do?’ is inevitably, ‘Choke ‘em out.’  

He also seems to be hoping that even notoriously litigious organizations won’t sue a church for using copyrighted phrases and images.  In addition to all the Octagon and Ultimate Fighter stuff, the children’s service is called “Easter Smackdown” and it involves kids fighting in an inflatable boxing ring.  Because Easter Egg hunts are for pussies, and Jesus didn’t cotton to no pussies.

Sexy Girls Teach MMA Submissions – Watch more Funny Videos

Bodog Fight may have been a cracker-jack operation run by (alleged) criminals, but their ring girls were freakin’ amazing. We just stumbled across their old series of MMA instructional clips, in which the Bodog Girls acted as lovely assistants to professional fighters. First up is Matt Thorpe, who teaches the chest-to-chest sweep. ("Nice job, ladies," indeed.) Check out the rest of the series below, where Kultar "Black Mamba" Gill takes us through the very sensual north-south triangle, Daniel Puder demonstrates an armbar from guard, and Chael Sonnen submits a model via rear-naked choke.

(Better get the next ice-pack ready. Photo courtesy of Yardbarker.)

Alright, let’s get to it…

— After an injury forced Josh Thomson to drop out of his Strikeforce rematch with Gilbert Melendez, a replacement has reportedly been found, according to The Fight Network. Taking on Melendez at Saturday’s "Shamrock vs. Diaz" event will be Rodrigo Damm, an 8-2 veteran of Bodog Fight and Sengoku. Damm hasn’t competed since last August, when he was choked out by Eiji Mitsuoka at Sengoku Fourth Battle.

— Winless since his WEC debut against Cub Swanson in December 2007, Jens Pulver will be given another chance to score a victory at WEC 41 (June 7th, Sacramento). Lil’ Evil will be facing 20-year-old up-and-comer Josh "The Fluke" Grispi (12-1), who has gone 2-0 in the WEC with first-round stoppages over Mark Hominick and Micah Miller. WEC 41 will be headlined by the rematch between Urijah Faber and Mike Brown.

— TUF 7 winner Amir Sadollah has an opponent for his much-delayed return at UFC 101 (August 8th, Philadelphia). MMA Weekly confirms that Sadollah’s welterweight debut will come against Johny Hendricks, a 5-0 transfer from the WEC’s defunct 170-pound division who won a unanimous decision over Alex Serdyukov at WEC 39 last month. Also on the card will be another welterweight bout between Tamdan McCrory (who’s coming off a submission victory over Ryan Madigan at UFC 96 in March) and John Howard (who most recently won a Fight of the Night bonus for his split-decision victory over Chris Wilson at UFC 94 in January). UFC 101 will be headlined by the lightweight title scrap between BJ Penn and Kenny Florian.

Brock Lesnar talks with "Inside MMA’s" Ron Kruck about Frank Mir and that silly "make believe" belt that Mir took off of Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira.  Isn’t it adorable the way Frank thinks that hunk of metal and leather is real?  Just precious.

Joe Rogan swigs Diet Coke and waxes philosophical about the Chuck Liddell of old and the old Chuck Liddell of the present ("the guy’s thirty-nine years old, cut him some slack").  Honestly, it’s a pretty candid assessment of where Liddell and Shogun Rua are at this point in their respective careers, if perhaps a little too apologetic on Shogun’s behalf.  Rogan didn’t seem as willing to make excuses for Rua’s poor conditioning back when he was burying him from the broadcast table at UFC 93.

After the jump, something extremely disturbing, and at the same time boring.

(Do you have to be so smug about my misfortune, Henderson? Photo courtesy WEC.tv)

Potato Nation, let me level with you here.  The old Gambling Addiction Enabler had himself one hell of a bad night on Sunday.  As in, he has spent all day talking himself out of cutting his wrists with shards of the beer bottle he smashed against the wall just after Jeff Curran lost.  The fact that this horrible gambling outing came after his great success at UFC Fight Night 18, that just makes it hurt so much more.  The highs are high indeed, and the lows so miserably low.  The Snoop Dogg posters I bought with my UFC 96 winnings, they mock me even as I write these words.  

On to the sad particulars, and let’s see if we can’t learn from this disaster.

The Bet: $20 on Shane Roller
The Result: Lost, due to possibly bullshit stoppage
Thoughts: I refuse to beat myself up for this bet.  Roller had Henderson hurt early and nearly finished him with a guillotine.  Alas, it wasn’t to be.  I have to admit, this fight does make me rethink my betting philosophy for WEC events.  When two relatively inexperienced guys both drop each other within the first two minutes of the fight, picking the winner is basically a crapshoot.  Lesson learned?

("If I wasn’t a friend to the gays, do you think I’d be hanging out with this fuckin’ cocksucker?" Photo courtesy of Boston.com. Apologies to the crazy dude from Brotherhood. )

During an appearance on the CBS Radio show "The MMAsh," Dana White confirmed an earlier report which suggested he would be taking a reduced media role with the UFC due to the overwhelming amount of negative attention he received after a recent hate-speech-laced video-blog. Some key quotes, via FiveOuncesofPain:

(Translation: "If pussies get offended when I drop the words ‘faggot’ and ‘bitch’ in my angry rants, then fuck it all, because I gotta be me.")

Insane Capoeira Knockout – Watch more Funny Videos

Most evidence seems to suggest that Brazilian dance-fighting isn’t very effective in an actual MMA match. But the doubters were proved wrong on Saturday night, as a Capoeira practitioner named Marcus "Lelo" Aurelio (not to be confused with Maximus) scored one of the most epic knockout-kicks in history at a North American Challenge event in North Vancouver. Aurelio’s opponent Keegan Marshall was clearly unprepared for the whirling-dervish routine, and let his hands drop at juuuuuust the wrong moment; the devastation comes at the vid’s 0:31 mark. After checking to see if Marshall is still alive (he was), Aurelio commemorates the moment with a victory dance that lasts about as long as the fight itself. Enjoy it, buddy — these kinds of things don’t happen very often.

(Voted most likely to punch you in the back of the head at a punk show.)

Jeff Monson, the hardest-working anarchist in MMA, is ready for a real challenge.  After submitting Sergei Kharitonov at Dream.8, he’s decided that he is now ready for Fedor Emelianenko, and he’s imploring Dream to make it happen for him:

“My goal in DREAM is to fight the best. Ultimately, I want to fight Fedor. If DREAM could set that up it would be great.”

Whoa there, Snowman.  Let’s back up a second.  I know you’re riding high off your string of rapid-fire victories, including a very questionable decision over Roy Nelson (who then showed up in your corner at Dream.8 because that’s just the kind of guy "Big Country" is, always willing to help a brother out).  But the climb up the heavyweight ladder doesn’t usually go Roy Nelson, Sergei Maslobojev, Sergei Kharitonov, and then Fedor.  

Props to TheGarv for turning us on to ring girl Laura Celeste, who has been making jaws drop at East Coast promotions like Ring of Combat, World Cage Fighting Alliance, and Asylum Fight League. To learn more about Laura, check out this brief interview, then head over to her MySpace page, which has tons of pics of Laura doin’ her thing in the ring.

(Torres discusses his war with Mizugaki in the post-event press-conference. Props: MMA Mania)

Yes, it’s only early April, but last night’s WEC main event between Miguel Torres and Takeya Mizugaki established itself as a 2009 Fight of the Year front-runner that might not be touched in the next nine months. (We’ll post the video as soon as it turns up, but the Internet is failing us right now.) Honestly, Torres/Mizugaki made Torres/Maeda look like Lashley/Guida. And the fight was a lot closer than the scorecards (or Frank Mir‘s biased, nuthugging commentary) would suggest.

Mizugaki shocked the crowd by fearlessly outstriking Torres in the opening round and keeping up an inhuman pace through 25 minutes; wisely, he avoided following Torres to the ground when the champion baited him. Torres may have had the edge in the later rounds, but he was never able to put the tough-as-nails challenger in danger of being finished. Still, he fought relentlessly, and once again proved himself the rightful owner of the 135-pound crown. His next thrilling victory will likely be in August against currently-sidelined #1-contender Brian Bowles.

For their efforts, both Torres and Mizugaki picked up $10,000 Fight of the Night bonuses. (That’s the best you can do, WEC? Now we know why Miguel wants to chase larger paydays in ill-advised weight classes.) Also taking home the extra 10 G’s were Anthony Njokuani for his Knockout of the Night over Bart Palaszewski, and Rani Yahya for his Submission of the Night (via first-round rear-naked choke) over Eddie Wineland.

(Fred Sanford, bitch. Photo courtesy of the WEC 40 weigh-ins gallery on Combat Lifestyle.)

From tonight’s "Torres vs. Mizugaki" show at the UIC Pavillion in Chicago, Illinois:

Rafael Dias def. Mike Budnick via unanimous decision
Akitoshi Tamura def. Manny Tapia via unanimous decision
Rani Yahya def. Eddie Wineland via submission (rear-naked choke), 1:07 of round 1
Wagnney Fabiano def. Fredson Paixao via unanimous decision
Dominick Cruz def. Ivan Lopez via unanimous decision [fight halted in third round after Lopez took an illegal knee and couldn't continue; match went to the scorecards, with the incomplete third round included]
Anthony Njokuani def. Bart Palaszewski via TKO, 0:27 of round 2

(Hayato Sakurai vs. Shinya Aoki. Listen for the Japanese version of Frank Trigg calling the action at the 1:20-1:27 mark of the video.)

The opening round of DREAM’s 2009 welterweight grand prix went down today at DREAM.8 in Nagoya, Japan, with Hayato Sakurai and Andre Galvao establishing themselves as early favorites to go all the way. In the evening’s main event, Sakurai was able to defeat Shinya Aoki for the second time in his career, reversing position after a slick takedown from Aoki, then unleashing a brutal series of knees to the head and punches that forced a stop to the action just 27 seconds into the fight. Aoki, who didn’t bother putting on weight for the match, hopefully learned that he’s better off at lightweight.

Elsewhere in the welterweight GP, Andre Galvao looked impressive yet again, taking out UFC/WEC vet John Alessio by armbar at 7:34 of the first round; the powerful jiu-jitsu ace increases his record to 3-0, with all wins by armbar. Jason High was able to bounce back to the W column with a quick choke-out of Yuya Shirai, while Marius Zaromskis edged out Seichi Ikemoto by decision after a 15-minute slugfest.

In the non-tournament bouts, Jeff Monson won for the third time in three weeks (!), using his significant grappling advantage over Sergei Kharitonov to sink in a north-south choke early in the first round. Vitor "Shaolin" Ribeiro was also victorious in his return to competition, controlling Katsuhiko Nagata for most of the first round of their match until a series of knee-strikes from Ribeiro opened up a nasty gash on Nagata’s head; doctors immediately went in to check the wound, and decided to stop the fight. And in a minor upset, Riki Fukuda — a late replacement for Dong Sik Yoon — was able to score a very close decision over Murilo Rua after a 15-minute standup battle.

Full results and more videos after the jump…

(Via DreamOfficial.com)

Above you see the interpretive dance routine choreagraphed and directed by Shigeru Saeki in its debut at the Dream 8 weigh-ins.  A stunned Shinya Aoki watched from just off-stage.  He later described the routine to reporters as "breathtaking."

Then this guy showed up and ruined everybody’s fun.

(‘Yes, now finish him you fool.  Finish him!  Mwahahahaha!’ Photo courtesy of UFC.com)

The Canadian no-accounts over at Fightlinker went looking through the UFC’s Fight Night photo gallery and found some pretty interesting shots, like this one of matchmaker Joe Silva getting all riled up about Rafael Dos Anjos’ weirdo thigh compression move on Tyson Griffin.  We’ve previously taken note of Silva’s tendency to lose his freaking mind when somebody does something cool, and we love to see a man with this kind of fire in the belly, but what do you think is going on with him here?  Is that the look of a man who is pumped up about the chance for a crazy upset, or a man who just realized that he forgot to close the garage door when he left home.  Oh God, the cats will get out!!!!

(Miguel Torres lays out his plan to Versus.com)

- Dana White talks to ESPN, apologizes for hurting gay people when he was only trying to hurt Loretta Hunt.  How…nice? (ESPN)

- Sherdog responds to Dana White. (Sherdog)

- TUF is a ratings hit once more. (MMA Weekly)

- More smack talk between Dan Hardy and Marcus Davis. (Fighters Only)

- Mike Freeman acting like a moron about MMA yet again. (Cage Writer)

- Tim Credeur vs. Nick Catone video from Fight Night 18. (MMA Videos)

- Oh yeah, Bellator is tonight. (MMA Mania)

- Jason Miller explains the genius of "Bully Beatdown." (Asylum)

- Top 5 potential NFL Draft busts. (Scores Report)

- Drunken Argument Friday. (Holy Taco)

- 9 most obnoxious movie watchers. (Screen Junkies)

- Are Nascar drivers athletes? (All Left Turns)

- Another insane Russian brawl, now with knife play! (Nothing Toxic)

(McCullough with squeeze Lexxi Tyler, via MySpace.  You might remember her from a couple blue movies she’s been in, such as "Boobs of Hazzard," "Muff Bumpers 5," and "Rack Em."  All actual titles.)

According to MMA Weekly’s Insider Blog, the WEC’s Rob McCullough is going to be out of action for a while, as he’s going on the next season of VH1’s “Celebrity Rehab” to get his sex addiction looked at.  How ’bout that?

Apparently McCullough had surgery on the hand that he broke in his snoozer of a bout with Marcus Hicks at WEC 39, and since he has to take some time off anyway he might as well see if he can achieve his two lifelong goals of being on a reality show and putting an end to his compulsive fornicating all at once.  That’s called making efficient use of your time.

Depending on the source, this may just be part of the third season of the popular “Celebrity Rehab” show that seeks to exploit the substance abuse problems of kind of famous people for ratings, or it may be a spin-off of that show devoted entirely to sex addiction, which would be the perfect place for McCullough to meet chicks now that he and porn star Lexxi Tyler are reportedly no longer dating. (Edit: okay, so they’re still dating, and possibly engaged. Who can tell with porn stars?  I mean, when you think about it?) 

Now begins the great debate as to which MMA fighter made out better in the porn actress dating pool: Rob McCullough or Tito Ortiz?  McCullough managed not to get his porn star girlfriend pregnant (we hope), while Ortiz landed one who was more, um…I guess the word I’m looking for here is “prolific.”  Some comparison photos are after the jump to better aid the discourse.

(Props: fightface.blogspot.com)

It’s the start of another month, which means it’s time to check out the latest highlight reel from Facey. The March ’09 edition features Matt Hamill‘s thunderous head-kick KO of Mark Munoz, David Gardner‘s "Hello Japan!" epic fail, Shane Carwin‘s triumph over Gabriel Gonzaga (watch the inset to see proof that Carwin’s victims always fall into an Indian-style sitting position), Jose Aldo‘s latest destruction, King Mo body-slamming another Asian, the Jackson/Jardine war, Mike Brown’s first title defense, and more. Great stuff, as always.

Below: lookoutawhale‘s new installment of the "Riddum Revenge" series, a short but sweet tribute to George St. Pierre’s superman punch.

(Props: TheGarv)

If you missed the UFC’s video tribute to Charles "Mask" Lewis during UFC Fight Night: Condit vs. Kampmann, check it out after the jump.

(It was either this or another picture of Bader. Photos courtesy of twitpic.com/photos/ariannyceleste.)

— TUF 8 winner Ryan Bader may have suffered serious knee damage during his unanimous decision win over Carmelo Marrero on Wednesday. As Bader told MMA Weekly, "The doctor said I blew my MCL out and maybe the ACL…One of the first takedowns, I was passing from half-guard trying to pass to side control and I just heard my knee pop, which isn’t a big deal because they pop every once in a while. I stood back up and I felt that it was really, really loose. It didn’t really do too much as far as impeding me in the fight or anything like that, but it was starting to swell up a little bit. Hopefully the ACL is fine. I don’t really want to deal with that." In a worst-case scenario, the injury would require surgery and a long recovery period.

— Bader’s Arizona Combat Sports teammate Steve Steinbeiss was reportedly paid his to-show money as well as his win bonus for Wednesday’s event, even though his opponent Ryan Jensen was yanked from the fight following a positive test for Adderall.

— I think I got up to take a piss during this particular commercial break, but during a Burger King-sponsored/Amir Sadollah-hosted segment in the season premierewww.cagepotato.com/tuf-91-quick-recap-team-uk-gets-its-elite-8, TUF 9Forrest Griffin confirmed that he’ll be coming back to face Thiago Silva at UFC 101 (August 8th, Philadelphia). Griffin hasn’t fought since his UFC 92 title fight against Rashad Evans in December, in which he lost his belt and broke his hand. Sadollah also revealed that he’ll be making his first post-TUF appearance (as a welterweight) at the August event, though an opponent was not named.

(Hold on, guys. I don’t know how to say this, but it seems like one of you is really embracing your character here and one you, cough*Miguel*cough, is still holding back. Let’s try it again, with some feeling this time.)

Fresh off a profitable UFC Fight Night 18, the Gambling Addiction Enabler is ready to throw all his winnings away on Sunday night’s WEC event and then fall into a deep depression that leads to him holding up a liquor store just to get gambling money for next week’s Strikeforce event.  Yes, that might sound a little too detailed, but if you fail to plan, you’re planning to fail.

Odds, come today from BestFightOdds.com:

Miguel Torres (-600) vs. Takeya Mizugaki (+450)
Ben Henderson (+120) vs. Shane Roller (-150)
Jeff Curran (-130) vs. Joseph Benavidez (even)
Fredson Paixao (+275) vs. Wagnney Fabiano (-345)
Akitoshi Tamura (+130) vs. Manny Tapia (-160)
Jameel Massough (+275) vs. Rafael Assuncao (-345)
Dominick Cruz (-450) vs. Ivan Lopez (+370)
Eddie Wineland (+240) vs. Rani Yahya (-300)
Anthony Njokuani (+135) vs. Bart Palaszewski (-165)
Mike Budnik (+250) vs. Rafael Dias (-310)

Thoughts…

Nick Diaz participated in yesterday’s Strikeforce conference call and thank God someone was savvy enough to ask him a question about weed and then get out of the way and let him go.  There’s nothing quite like a good, completely insane Nick Diaz rant to really make you stop and realize that absolutely everybody, everywhere is on drugs, or else they’re an alcoholic.  I didn’t even think about it until Nick said it.

Here are some other nuggets of wisdom to come out of Diaz’s mouth in this one answer to one question about how smoking weed is different than taking pain pills:

– The blood flow stimulated by coughing when you smoke weed might be the healthiest thing you do all day…if you are fat or have cancer.
– He’s not a fucking doctor or scientist.
– He has a lot of friends who do a lot of drugs.
– If you smoke cigarettes, Nick hopes you die of cancer.  He really does.

(Props: "BONEtheDOME" on the UG.)

Do we have a cool prize to give away today? Not really, other than some bullshit t-shirts. But this photo of CB Dollaway and Ryan Bader pretending to fight over adult film actress Gianna Lynn at the last AVN Awards show amuses me. Best three captions win a shirt. Winners will be announced early next week-ish. Here, I’ll start:

"They lived their lives by a code: Bro’s before ho’s. Until she came along and turned their worlds upside-down."

Or, this:

"I don’t do double-anal. Dollaway, where did you find this chick anyway?"

Good luck.

After being called out by GLAAD for his use of the word "faggot" in his rage-filled pre-"Condit vs. Kampmann" rant, Dana White has stepped up with a formal-ish apology (see above), which leads into the fight-night edition of the Danavlog. As soon as he starts with the phrase "anybody who knows me," it’s clear that this might not be the most satisfying mea culpa. But he gives it his best shot, saying he’d never maliciously attack somebody who wasn’t attacking him, and "the last thing that I would ever want anybody to think about me or think is cool is to go out and attack somebody because of their sexual orientation." So, whatever; we’ll see if that smoothes things over. It’s worth noting that he doesn’t include any apology for calling Loretta Hunt a "fuckin’ dumb bitch," though as Kevin Iole points out, it was her own damn fault for getting called a dumb bitch in the first place. Yeesh, talk about blaming the victim.

After the apology, Dana checks in with the event’s fighters and has his requisite dick-punching session with Tiki Ghosn and Rampage. "What the fuck am I going to do with you two," Dana says at the 8:21 mark. "What are you gonna do with these two retards?" Expect an apology to the Special Needs Alliance to come early next week.

UPDATE, from f4wonline.com/Dave Meltzer:

Meltzer doesn’t cite any sources, and he’s misinformed on a regular basis, so treat this as a rumor.

#0: Heath Herring vs. Yoshihiro Nakao @ K-1 Premium 2005 Dynamite!! (12/31/05), 0 seconds

Who the hell knows what Yoshihiro Nakao was thinking when he planted a surprise smooch on Heath Herring before their fight at K-1’s 2005 New Year’s Eve show. (Maybe that the Texas Crazy Horse would become blinded by lust, leaving him unable to intelligently defend himself?) Unfortunately, not only is Herring “not gay,” but he resents the implication, and responds by punching Nakao right across his sweet, pillowy lips. Even if the match was ruled a no-contest, it’s still a KO at the 0:00 mark of round 1, earning it an honorary spot on our list of Fast & Furious knockouts. Not since the epic Gracie vs. Howard battle at UFC 3 had there been such a dramatic finish to a fight before it had even technically started. And the nickname “Kiss” still haunts Nakao to this day…

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE VIDEO

(Chambers is the one who looks like he’d give himself the nickname "Hollywood.")

Bellator Fighting Championships – also known as one of the organizations to fire War Machine – announced via press release their announcing teams for both English and Spanish broadcasts.  The Spanish portion will be done by former King of the Cage champ Manny Rodriguez and some guy known as George X (ed. note: you can do that? just change your last name to an "x"? that’s awesome).  

Getting the nod for the portion that most of us will be able to understand is the duo of Jon Anik, from ESPN’s “MMA Live,” and Jason Chambers, from The History Channel’s “Human Weapon” series.  

Chambers actually used to be an MMA fighter, competing as Jason “Hollywood” Chambers, though his most notable fight was a loss to Thiago Alves at an Ironheart Crown event in Hammond, Indiana back in 2004.  He tapped due to strikes in the first round.  Fun fact: those rape charges against him were dismissed, so he’s available, ladies…

If you’re curious how you can watch these guys to see if they might possibly rival Tito Ortiz’s genius on the mic (no way), the Spanish-language version will run on ESPN Deportes and the English one will be on Bellator’s website.  Poor Jon Anik.  What’s the guy got to do to get on an actual TV?