Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

May, 2009

Dream “Super Hulk” Videos: This Is What A Freak Show Looks Like

(Props: MMA TKO)

If you sacrificed sleep to watch Dream.9 or even if you just read our liveblog, you already know what a completely predictable shit-show the “Super Hulk” tournament was.  For the rest of you, behold the glory.  Above is Jose Canseco vs. Hong Man Choi.  Please take note around the 1:30 mark when Michael Schiavello has the balls to call Jose Canseco’s performance up to that point “pretty cerebral.”  That’s the dude in the long pants who’s throwing overhand rights and then turning his back on his opponent that Schiavello is talking about.  Apparently all you have to do to be considered cerebral at the “Super Hulk” tournament is not swallow your tongue.  

More videos after the jump, including a fight between Bob Sapp and Minowaman that has ‘work’ written all over it.  Shocking, I know.


DREAM.9: Blow by Blow

Jason Miller Mayhem Ronaldo Souza Jacare MMA DREAM
(You know, Jason, it would be nice if your junk transitioned to a renewable energy source. Photo courtesy of

The return of Kid Yamamoto. Light-heavyweights fighting super-heavyweights. Desperate baseball players possibly dying in the ring. Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to see some crazy shit. DREAM.9 kicks off in a few minutes, and if you’re reading this live, God bless you. Round-by-round updates from the HDNet broadcast are after the jump; refresh the page every few minutes to get all the latest. If there’s a long stretch of time where there’s no updates, it just means that I’ve fallen asleep. Let’s all hope that doesn’t happen.


Gina Carano Plays With Dolls

Gina Carano Round 5 figure
(Carano with Lil’ Gina.  Neither of them will go out with you.)

Awww, having her own Round 5 MMA action figure makes Gina Carano smile like she hasn’t since she got naked behind a towel at a public weigh-in.  It’s just a prototype, but it looks like the Round 5 people went ahead and enhanced some of her feminine features.  This is not all that surprising.  Round 5 even managed to make Sean Sherk look like he had normal-length arms, so we know they have no problem presenting their own alternate version of physical reality.  At least Gina’s figure will give both little girls and creepy old dudes the hero they need so badly in their lives.


Heads-Up: DREAM.9 Liveblogging Starts Early Tomorrow at 5 a.m. ET / 2 a.m. PT

(It was at that moment that Jose realized his life had become unmanageable. Photo courtesy of

DREAM.9 — which goes down tomorrow in Yokohama, and will be broadcast live on HDNet starting at 5 a.m. ET / 2 a.m. PT — is simply too epic for us not to liveblog. If you’ll be awake for some reason, swing by and find out how quickly/pathetically Jose Canseco gets his ass kicked by Hong Man Choi — as well as what happens with the rest of the Super Hulk Tournament opening round, the featherweight grand prix quarterfinals, and the Mayhem/Jacare middleweight title fight. If you’ll be sleeping like a normal person, just come over when you wake up and get caught up on all the insanity.

Weigh-in results are after the jump, courtesy of MMA Weekly.


The Potato Index: UFC 98 Aftermath

(Photo courtesy of

There’s nothing like a title changing hands, a hatchet being buried, and an upset or two to give the arbitrary numerical rankings system of the Potato Index something to talk about.  Let’s see who’s up and who’s down after UFC 98.

Lyoto Machida +316
He came into this fight as the favorite to win a boring decision.  Less than ten minutes later people were talking about The Machida Era as if it were the Ming Dynasty and lamenting the fate of whatever poor bastard had to face him next.  He proved you can be an elusive, complicated martial artist and still kick serious ass.  Dawning of a new age in MMA, or just a beautiful anomaly?

Rashad Evans -127
Becomes another 205-pound champ to lose his first title defense, and barely lands a punch in the process.  Keeping your back against the cage and trying to counter those whirlwind attacks can probably be ruled out as the strategy to beat Machida, but Evans had to try something.  Back to the middle of the pack.


Black on Japanese-Brazilian Crime: Machida to Make His First Title Defense Against Rampage

(UFC 98 post-event press conference footage, courtesy of CageWriter.)

Confirming what many of us had already assumed, Dana White announced at Saturday night’s press conference that new UFC light-heavyweight champion Lyoto Machida will make his first title defense against former champ Quinton "Rampage" Jackson. Though the match isn’t tied to a specific event yet, White also announced (perhaps not coincidentally) that the UFC would be holding a show at the Staples Center in Los Angeles on October 24th.

So, quick MMA rumor math: Machida will be fighting Rampage later this year + Rampage will be one of the coaches on TUF 10 = We might be seeing the Dragon lead a team of heavyweights on the next season of The Ultimate Fighter.


Have Lyoto Machida and Anderson Silva Officially Switched Places?

Lyoto Machida UFC 98 gif 1Lyoto Machida UFC 98 gif 2
(I count 11 punches thrown and eight landed cleanly.  That’s precision destruction. Props: MMA Core.)

You can pick your reason for being surprised with the results of last night’s Lyoto Machida-Rashad Evans title fight at UFC 98.  If you expected Machida to win a less than thrilling five-round decision, you got to be completely shocked by seeing him turn into the guy who did the chasing for a change, as well as the guy who used Terminator-like accuracy to do the most damage with the least possible effort.  

If you expected Evans to use his wrestling to control Machida – a position which sounded so rational in my own head just twenty-four hours ago – you got to be surprised for all the above reasons and more.  Most likely your head is still spinning, and not just for lack of sleep.

Machida beat down a respected UFC champ (okay, one defending his title for the first time, but still) and made it look absurdly easy.  He did it in a fashion that has us all wondering if the fighter who might eventually dethrone him has even been born yet.  Just calling that performance ‘dominant’ doesn’t quite cut it.  Maybe that’s why I couldn’t help but be reminded of the Anderson Silva of two years ago, even as Anderson Silva fights like the Lyoto Machida of two years ago. I’m telling you, it’s spooky.


Lyoto Machida Somehow Only Pockets One Bonus At UFC 98

Rashad Evans UFC 98 loss
(Yep, that’s how bad it was.)

Yeah, I know that he was technically ineligible to receive a Submission of the Night bonus at UFC 98.  And the fight wasn’t competitive enough (read: at all) to garner consideration for Fight of the Night.  But when you beat ass with the kind of dominating, precise beauty that Lyoto Machida did last night, knocking out Rashad Evans and looking like a perfect fighting machine sent back in time by a futuristic Karate-centric society to teach us all a valuable lesson, it really seems like they ought to create a new bonus category to honor you.


‘UFC 98: Evans vs. Machida’ — You Can’t Liveblog What You Can’t Catch

(Just after this photo was taken, Rashad respectfully grabbed his nuts and blew Lyoto a kiss. Props to Combat Lifestyle.)

It got Koscheck. It got Okami. It got Alexander and Irvin and Wilson. But by God, the UFC 98 curse will not rob us of seeing Sean Sherk and Frankie Edgar fight to an inevitable decision, or Dan Miller submit Chael Sonnen in the first round, or Rashad Evans and Lyoto Machida counter-counter-punch for the light-heavyweight title — unless the arena collapses within the next few minutes, which is always a possibility. Live round-by-round updates from tonight’s pay-per-view broadcast are after the jump; refresh the page regularly to see all the latest. Let’s get ready to EVAAAAAAAAAAADE!!!


“UFC 98: Evans vs. Machida” — Undercard Results

Dave Kaplan George Roop TUF 7 UFC 98 MMA
(Kaplan/Roop is easily going to be Fight of the Night. And Dana went to MIT. Photo courtesy of this set on

Spoilers after the jump…