(Billy Evangelista and Mike Aina headline tonight’s "Challengers" show in Fresno. Photo courtesy of Strikeforce.)

The UFC is taking another weekend off, but there’s still enough MMA action going on tonight to satisfy your thirst for combat — as long as you have a solid cable TV package. Here’s what’s happening…

STRIKEFORCE CHALLENGERS 1
When+Where: Tonight at the Save Mart Center in Frenso, California, starting at 6 p.m.
How to Watch: Showtime, 11 p.m. ET/PT
Lowdown: Strikeforce’s new up-and-comer series kicks off with a lightweight clash between undefeated prospect Billy Evangelista and BJ Penn student Mike Aina in the main event. Elsewhere on the main card, Miesha Tate tangles with Sarah Kaufman, and former Strikeforce #1 light-heavyweight contender Anthony Ruiz takes on ShoXC vet Aaron Rosa. The full lineup can be seen here.

(Foot-sweeps vs. hammer fists: Who ya got??)

UFC 120 (November 13, 2010; New York City) will be headlined by a heavyweight title fight between Lyoto Machida and Brock Lesnar, according to a report we just pulled out of our asses. Okay, maybe it’s too early to put a date on that matchup, but light-heavyweight #1 contender Machida is already looking ahead to bigger opponents — like, way bigger. As he tells Tatame:

(Props: Jezebel, via Cage Potato reader BB.)

Yeah, that’s former UFC heavyweight champ and Pride star Josh Barnett in a photo layout for a recent issue of French Vogue.  The basic idea is that this model in a bikini is photographed beating the hell out of various men in the desert.  In other words, fashion photographers have officially run out of ideas.  How Barnett got roped into this deal is anybody’s guess, but he sure seems to be giving it everything he’s got.  Just look at his facial expression.  It practically screams, ‘I am pretending to get my ass kicked.’  I guess a guy’s got to entertain himself somehow while he waits to find out whether he’ll ever get that Fedor fight.

(Props: The Garv)

The official UFC 100 promo video doesn’t need any heavy-handed voiceover to make its case as one of the best MMA events in recent memory.  It just runs down some perfunctory highlight clips to remind you of who all’s fighting, and then it steps back to let your imagination run wild.  Now all you need is a ton of money and no objection to dropping an obscene amount of cash on one sporting event, and you can experience it live.  You can also help whip your section of the arena into a chant that voices the will of the people.  If that kind of thing interests you.

After the jump, a highlight video that is pretty much the exact opposite of this promo.

(They should have used a safe word. Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.)

Just because Tom Atencio wants to give up a couple weight classes and fight Dana White doesn’t mean it’ll actually happen. Quote of the day, via Kevin Iole:

(Kenny Florian, who may be taking over for Barack Obama in 2013, plugs UFC 101 on Good Day Philadelphia.)

MMA Junkie passes along the news that UFC 101 (August 8th, Philadelphia) has been given the official title of "Declaration" — get it, geniuses? — and points out that the main card bouts (as well as five prelim fights) are now finalized. Here’s what we’re dealing with:

MAIN CARD
B.J. Penn vs. Kenny Florian (for lightweight championship)
Anderson Silva vs. Forrest Griffin (LHW)
Amir Sadollah vs. Johny Hendricks (WW)
Kendall Grove vs. Ricardo Almeida (MW)
Josh Neer vs. Kurt Pellegrino (LW)

(Tate vs. Elaina Maxwell on her previous Strikeforce appearance.)

A few weeks ago Miesha Tate thought she’d be facing Kim Couture at the Strikeforce Challengers event on Showtime this Friday night.  But when Couture pulled out due to “personal reasons” and Tate posted a MySpace bulletin informing fans that “Sugar Free’s” impending divorce from former UFC champ Randy Couture was to blame, things got sticky in a hurry.  

Now instead of facing the 1-1 Couture, she’s facing the 8-0 (all by KO or TKO) Sarah Kaufman, and the fight has grown considerably in magnitude.  Here she talks about the change of opponents, her path to MMA, and what it’s like trying to make it as a female MMA fighter.

This seems like significant change in opponents, and on fairly late notice.  How did that affect your preparation for this fight and what the fight means for you?

It was kind of strange at first, the idea of going from Kim Couture to Sarah Kaufman.  Obviously it’s quite a jump.  I think I have a lot more to gain from this fight.  She’s a very tough and worthy opponent.  I have the opportunity to beat someone who has an established, undefeated record.

Do you think the only reason Kim Couture got this fight in the first place was because of her last name?

Fedor Emelianenko is not unbeatable, or at least not in a court of freaking law.  His $1.6 million lawsuit against a Korean honey company for using him in a commercial that he claimed had “damaged his image” finally reached a conclusion, and Fedor lost.  The Seoul Central District Court ruled that he participated willingly and as part of his agreed upon deal with the Korea Sambo Federation.  Here’s a fun little description of the ad itself:

The ad, starting with a victorious scene involving Fedor in a wrestling ring, is followed by footage of a bee landing on a yellow rape flower. Then Fedor returns, drinks a bottle of the honey and says, “I like Seonyu Honey,” in Korean.

That’s right, suckers.  Rape flower.  When you absolutely, positively need a flower that makes everyone uncomfortable just saying its name, accept no substitutes.  Usually a story like this would only be interesting for being so weird, but the report on the lawsuit contained one other interesting glimpse into the life Fedor:

With his shot at DREAM’s middleweight title coming up on May 26th, it’s time for Jason Miller to take a break from bully beating and get down to business. This new documentary from AllElbows (with original music by Genghis Con) shows Miller haunted by his loss to Ronaldo "Jacare" Souza last June, and changing his training habits to ensure that things turn out differently during their rematch at DREAM.9. Is our little Mayhem growing up?

After the jump: Gina Carano — who took the #16 spot on Maxim’s Hot 100 list — teaches some goof how to fight, then beats the crap out of him.

The Ultimate Fighter 9: Pearson vs. Whitson – Watch more Funny Videos

After five quarterfinal fights, the competition has taken a physical toll on the UFC hopefuls. Jason Pierce’s foot is screwed up from kicking Steve Berger’s ass so hard in the elimination round. Richie Whitson has an infection on his face that’s NOT HERPES. David Faulkner has an infection in his leg after epically failing during a sledge/tire exercise. Cameron Dollar contracts a bad case of crybabybitch-itis. But the show must go on, and these ragged warriors must pull themselves together. Last night’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter featured the TUF 9 coaches’ challenge, another lightweight battle, and no less than two complete mental breakdowns. Let’s get to it…

Ladies and gentlemen: After two weeks spent collecting your entries for our UFC 98 prize package giveaway, one name has been randomly selected as the big, big winner. And that name is…

Tania Valdez

Wow!!! Aren’t you glad we didn’t stretch that out over an hour-long post? Tania has already been informed of her great fortune, but we still encourage her to gloat about it in the comments section.

Apologies to all the poor bastards who didn’t win. We wish we could hook all of you up with trips to Las Vegas, but then we wouldn’t have any money for our various philanthropic efforts, so…

(Look at it this way, at least there won’t be a big traffic jam trying to get out of here.)

What you see here is Jose Canseco’s attempt at a press conference to discuss the L.A. Dodgers’ Manny Ramirez and his recent suspension for popping positive on a MLB-mandated drug test.  Judging by the number of chairs they put out, it did not get the kind of attendance they hoped for.  But hey, that just means more finger sandwiches for Jose to take home with him.  So why did Canseco, a retired baseball player, call a press conference to talk about a current baseball player’s drug use?  Because he’s a goddamned media whore.  And why are we telling you about it?  Because a) his participation in the upcoming Dream “Super Hulk” tournament has reminded us that he’ll do anything for money and attention, and b) it’s hilarious. 

And that “Super Hulk” tournament, it’s airing live on HDNet.  Thank God for small miracles, am I right?

In other, actual MMA news…

(238,000 views and counting.  Not bad.)

We’ll admit it, when we first heard about Bellator, a tournament-oriented MMA organization airing to a Spanish-language audience on ESPN Deportes, we were skeptical.  But two straight weeks of viral video hits thanks to some exciting finishes piqued our curiosity, and we decided to talk with Bellator CEO Bjorn Rebney to try and figure out what this thing is all about.

CagePotato.com: You guys have had a couple good weeks on the internet with Toby Imada’s submission and then the spinning backfist KO.  That stuff makes for good viral video, but is it just a couple lucky outcomes or do you chalk it up to good planning and matchmaking?

I don’t think you can ever plan for what happened with Toby Imada and I don’t think you can ever plan for what happened with Yahir Reyes.  What I do think is this: the tournament structure, and the ability of our fighters to make their own way and determine what they make, with the overall amount being quite high, it generates a willingness on the fighters’ parts to take some risks that they might not otherwise take.  We may just be incredibly lucky to have found some amazing fighters who did amazing things the last couple of weeks, but it’s played out beautifully for us.  

(Gracie locks an armbar onto Ron Waterman during his MMA debut at BodogFight: USA vs. Russia in December 2006. Photo courtesy of golpedirecto.)

According to a new report on SI.com, jiu-jitsu savant Roger Gracie is close to signing a multi-fight deal with Strikeforce. CEO Scott Coker claims that negotations with Gracie are "pretty much done," and he plans to start off the 27-year-old heavyweight competitor in a Challenger Series event this fall. Said Coker: "We’re going to see if we can create some awareness with him, see how he does fighting-wise, and take it from there. We’re going to give him every opportunity to crossover into MMA. He’s going to have plenty of time to see if he really likes to do it."

Of course, if you’re a follower of competitive grappling, you’re already very aware of Gracie’s body of work…

Punch-Out Rap – Watch more Other Funny Stuff
(Props: Break via Screen Junkies)

25 years after Punch-Out!! first hit arcades, the beloved boxing series is having a bizarre rebirth via Internet videos. Two days ago, we saw the documentary style clip of Little Mac preparing to make his comeback — a viral ad for the title’s upcoming Wii relaunch. Now, there’s this completely-unrelated rap tribute to the game, which ScreenJunkies tells us is "the first installment in a series of old-school Nintendo-based music videos entitled ‘Gamerjamz’." Damn…I can’t wait for the Double Dragon tribute done in the style of DragonForce. (By the way, Gamerjamz, if you actually use that idea you have to credit me.)

And the Punch-Out!! love doesn’t stop there…

#7: Matt Hughes vs. Carlos Newton
UFC 34: 11/2/01

(The Newton slam comes at about the 0:52 mark.  Then there are others.)

We’ve sung the praises of Hughes’ signature slam before, but never was it more effective than when he used it to take the UFC welterweight championship away from Carlos Newton.  Hughes’s first line of defense against Newton’s triangle choke was to pick him up and walk him over to the fence, resting him atop the Octagon while he got a second to think things through.  When that didn’t help he dropped him straight down, sending Newton’s dreads a-flyin’ and knocking him out cold.  Hughes also seemed, shall we say, out of sorts after the slam.  He also seemed like the new UFC welterweight champ.  So there you go.

If you watched Dana White on ESPN “E:60” last night, you may be asking yourself, what happened to that hatchet job he was so convinced they were doing on him?  Turns out it was a pretty fair, though not all that groundbreaking a look at the UFC president, focusing on the evolution of the UFC and some of his more aggressive business strategies.  Here’s him going back and forth, yet again, with Tito Ortiz, in which Ortiz’s verbal dyslexia rises to the surface and Dana screws up the phrase ‘I couldn’t care less.’ (Dammit Dana, when you say ‘I could care less,’ you’re implying that you care and are thus using it to mean the exact opposite of what you intend.  Come on, you’re better than that.)

There’s more after the jump, including DW’s take on boxing, why he’s not a pro fighter himself, and the internet war with Loretta Hunt.

From TMZ:

Such is the power of Chuck. He can give a horribly tone-deaf performance of "Don’t Stop Believin’" and still manage to draw a line of hot girls waiting to blow him backstage, as if he were the lead singer of Steel Panther. You can take away his livelihood, but don’t you dare take away his right to sing karaoke and bang groupies.

Semi-related buzzkill: MMA Junkie’s medical columnist Dr. Johnny Benjamin thinks that if Liddell continues fighting, he could end up like this. (Skip to the 1:29 mark for the sadness.)

(Props: CageWriter)

Now that UFC 98 is only ten days away, it’s time to bring out the hard-hitting questions, like if Matt Hughes and Matt Serra were neighbors, and they were just regular guys and not fighters, would they get along, and who would win at bowling? That Pulitzer-worthy line of questioning came from ESPN: The Magazine‘s usually-capable Ryan Hockensmith (who maybe forgot that Serra already beat Hughes at bowling during a TUF 6 coaches’ challenge) at a press conference held yesterday, and while the Terror tried to see the humor in it — even suggesting a reality show based on the two Matts as neighbors, which I would totally watch — Hughes can’t be bothered. "Who cares who would win in bowling?" he says. "To be honest, whoever’s gonna win in bowling is whoever is luckier that day." Hockensmith had prepared a follow-up question about go-kart racing, but wisely kept it to himself.

More choice quotes from the press conference are after the jump, courtesy of MMA Mania…

(Props: MMA Mania)

If you were an MMA fan four years ago, you can probably imagine what your reaction would have been had someone, preferably Scott Bakula from “Quantum Leap,” gone back in time to show you this poster for UFC 99.  For one thing, you would have been blown away that the UFC even made it to UFC 99, and that they hadn’t yet transitioned to an all-robot fighting organization.  Then there’s the shock of seeing Pride bad-ass Wanderlei Silva in the Octagon to face UFC middleweight champ Rich Franklin, and in Germany for fuck’s sake. 

Basically, your head would have exploded right then and there, all over Scott Bakula, which is why time travel is dangerous to begin with and should probably be avoided until we are responsible enough to not use it for stuff like showing fight posters to people.

Now think about how you view this poster in the present day.  It’s still a credible fight, and still interesting, though for entirely different reasons.  Let’s just say no one’s head is in any danger of exploding here, with the possible exception of Wanderlei.  And if you weren’t an MMA fan back in 2005 and you don’t really get what I’m going on about here, allow me to derisively say, noob!

Everybody wants to video blog these days.  From Dana White to the hipster grifter, people all over the world have awakened to the power of pointing a camera at their own face while they do/say things.  But dammit, there is a right way and a wrong way to do this.  What you see B.J. Penn doing up there is the wrong way.  Why?  Because he’s just standing in front of the camera with the ocean as his background, talking for a minute and a half.  Again we hear about Marv Marinovich’s revolutionary training methods, and again we see none of it. 

Here’s the question you have to ask yourself when you video blog: am I doing anything here that could not be done in a really long voicemail message?  If the answer is no, it’s time to rethink your approach.  If the answer is yes, but only because you go on for way too long, then you are Mark Pavelich.  You’ll see what I mean after the jump.

Yet another example of how Dana White’s personal style is different than that of other sports team/league owners: Here are the most recent Twitter updates from Dana White (yes, he has a personal account separate from the UFC’s official feed) and WEC general manager Reed Harris. Reed’s could have been written by any middle-aged father, while Dana’s could have been written by any tit-groping frat boy. And while most UFC fans don’t have a problem with that, several sports journalists have called Dana’s immature, hostile persona into question recently.

Tonight’s episode of ESPN E:60 (7 p.m.) delves deeper into the issue — who is this wild-ass motherfucker, and would the UFC be better off with an actual grown-up in charge? If you missed the preview, click here. And check out another excerpt from the show after the jump, where Dana lays into Tito Ortiz for being his first business mistake, and Tito claims he’s fought "some of the best world in the men…and beat ‘em!" Seriously.

(Right. You tweak your nipples, but *that’s* weird.)

If Keith Jardine is trying to use MMA as a springboard to an acting career, I ain’t mad at him. But making ultra-short cameos in awful-looking movies is a strange way to go about it. As IMDb informs us, Jardine’s first make-believe role was as "Jay Boy Simpson" in a cringeworthy Toby Keith vehicle called Beer for my Horses. (If you can find a clip of the Dean of Mean’s scene, please let us know.) Then, he continued his assault on Hollywood with a seven-second appearance in Crank: High Voltage, which we’ve posted above. It probably would have been better for his personal brand if Statham said "Never better, UFC fighter Keith Jardine. Now where can I buy that eye-catching t-shirt?" But you take what you can get, I suppose.

Anyway, if you thought those roles were impressive, just wait until you see Keith firing a machine gun for half-a-second in the trailer for Gamer…

(‘I solemnly swear to kick some Korean giant ass.’)

If you’re anything like us, only now have you finally stopped LOL-ing about Jose Canseco’s ridiculous involvement in the upcoming Dream “Super Hulk” tournament.  Not only is it a completely ‘tarded idea for a former pro athlete who is universally despised in his own sport to try and jump into MMA to make a quick buck, but he’s doing so against Hong Man Choi, just in case it wasn’t enough of a freak show already.  But that got us thinking, if Canseco can do it, why not other disgraced pro athletes?

Here’s a few we wouldn’t mind seeing in a Japanese free-for-all, shit-show of an event.

Pardon my language here, but what the fuck is Andrei Arlovski doing?  The man was once the UFC heavyweight champion, and now he’s doing skits on "The Jerry Springer Show" that look like they were written by a tenth-grade English class?  And not that it would have made any difference, but they couldn’t rehearse it once or twice just to work out some of the kinks?  It just seems too coincidental that Arlovski is sinking to these new lows at right around the same time he’s preparing to make his pro boxing debut.  This video settles it: boxing makes jackasses out of MMA fighters.  And since Freddie Roach makes boxers out of MMA fighters…you can draw your own conclusions about him.

After the jump, I talk ring girls, unnecessary nudity, and more with Fight! Magazine photographer Paul Thatcher, and Martin Kampmann shows us how they do over at Xtreme Couture.

(Blonde ambition: Chris Tuchscherer with his road-dog Brock Lesnar. Photo courtesy of snbcmma.com.)

Though Gabriel Gonzaga is one of the most fearsome can-crushers in the sport, he has repeatedly struggled against high-level competition during his tenure in the UFC. Now coming off a knockout loss to Shane Carwin at UFC 96 — his third defeat in his last five fights — Gonzaga may be getting his "win or GTFO" matchup. MMA Weekly reports that "Napao" and UFC newcomer Chris Tuchscherer have agreed to face each other at UFC 102, which is scheduled for August 29th in Portland.

(Props: MMA Mania)

After their first meeting six months ago resulted in Urijah Faber getting crushed and losing his featherweight title, the California Kid and the WEC’s current 145-pound champ Mike Brown will have their rematch at WEC 41, which goes down June 7th at the ARCO Arena in Faber’s hometown of Sacramento. Both headliners discuss the matchup in this new promo video, which shows that Brown is slightly peeved that his win over Faber is still considered a fluke in the eyes of some fans, while Faber is all "whatever brah, let’s do this, I want that belt back." (Not a direct quote.) Meanwhile, Frank Mir pops in to give his large-man perspective.

WEC 41 will also feature Jose Aldo, Donald "Cowboy" Cerrone, Jens Pulver, and Manny Gamburyan. The full lineup is after the jump; please toss your insightful predictions into the comments section.

(Screw UFC Undisputed, Punch Out! is coming back, possibly with "The Wire’s" Sen. Clay Davis as Doc.  Now that’s good news.)

Xtreme Couture trainer Shawn Tompkins is done working with Wanderlei Silva.  He says they’re still friends, but told RawVegas.tv that he just couldn’t put up with “Brazilian time” any longer.  For those of you who may not be familiar with this phenomenon, Brazilian time is roughly forty-five minutes to an hour behind regular time.  More if an impromptu samba session breaks out.  Undeterred by the loss of Tompkins as a trainer, Silva is looking to hook up with former WEC middleweight champ Paulo Filho.  When you absolutely have to find someone weirder and less dependable than you, it’s hard to do much better than Paulo.

In other news…

The Shaw family is a lot like herpes: nobody likes the fact that they even exist, and yet we can’t get rid of them.  You might recognize the above promo video for “Blood, Sweat, and Bling,” the reality show about boxing promoter Gary Shaw that we told you about some months back, but which thankfully seemed to die a quiet death in the alley behind some TV production studio.  Well, they didn’t bury this thing deep enough, because the show is reportedly back on, according to rich brat/local idiot Jared Shaw.

(That’s a very appropriate shirt, considering Lyoto Machida is about to beat you to a Blue Screen of Death. Image courtesy of alvear.com.)

If you have the time and means to enter our UFC 98 prize package giveaway — in which one lucky winner will score airfare to Las Vegas, a hotel stay, a pair of tickets to the event and more — we highly encourage you to do so, as entries are officially closed tonight at 11:59 p.m. PT / 2:59 a.m. ET; more details can be found here. Even at this late hour, your odds are still quite good, so give it a shot and good luck!