(Lesnar-Mir provides a chilling preview of Lesnar-Sable later on that same night. Photo courtesy of USA Today.)

It’s time to see who’s up and who’s down after an epic weekend, and the Potato Index’s arbitrary numerical rankings system is here to help.  It’s like the stock market, only dumber.

Brock Lesnar (the fighter) +117
Sure, it was all brute force and not a lot of flashy technique.  And yes, he resembled a schoolyard bully more than a martial artist.  But the fact is Lesnar got the job done, and in convincing fashion.  Now the question is, could he beat someone his own size?

Brock Lesnar (the person) -56
We honestly didn’t think it was possible for Lesnar to hurt his own image so much even in victory.  But disrespecting everyone you can think of, from your opponent to a UFC sponsor, and then ending by suggesting that you might “get on top of” your wife (that really sounds like a satisfying sexual experience for her, BTW) is a good way to go about it.  Press conference apology was a good idea, but way too half-assed to make a dent.

("And another thing: I’m drinking Jose Cuervo tonight because Cazadores won’t pay me, and I’m going to see a matinee showing of Up tomorrow because fuck Tarantino." Photo courtesy of UFC.com.)

Aside from Mark Coleman rising from the grave to win a decision over Stephan Bonnar, and Tom Lawlor punking CB Dollaway in 55 seconds, there weren’t many major surprises at UFC 100 — so we’re expecting some impressive scores for the final installment of our ongoing pick-off contest. If you kicked ass with your UFC 100 predictions, please share your total in the comments section below. We’ll be verifying the top scores soon and announcing the second winner of the Lyoto Machida "Karate for Mixed Martial Arts" DVD set in a couple days. Click here for a cheat sheet on the results, and thanks to everyone who participated!

Note to ‘PauloThiagoSilva’: We still have a Sityodtong t-shirt waiting for you, so hit us up at feedback@cagepotato.com if you want it.

(Photos courtesy of the Las Vegas Sun)

Meet Natasha Wicks, a 24-year-old Las Vegas native who beat out 39 other women to become the winner of Saturday’s Maxim UFC Octagon Girl Search at the UFC Fan Expo. According to this Model Mayhem profile, Natasha was a cross-country runner at Northern Arizona University, used to work as a Bunny at the Playboy Club in Las Vegas, and has never undergone any kind of plastic surgery. She’s 5’2, and her measurements are 34-25-36. More pics of the UFC’s new ring girl are after the jump…

Our Twitter buddy Shane Carwin let some of his true feelings about Brock Lesnar be known after last night’s showing at UFC 100.  While "Darwin" Carwin had been trying to play things pretty close to the vest about potential future heavyweight match-ups, it seems like Lesnar’s complete lack of respect for everyone within the range of his vision during last night’s main event rubbed him the wrong way.  He went into greater detail on his website:

The flipping off of the fans that just lined your pocket with millions of dollars is just LAME. He may be a Champion but he has a long ways to go before he earns the respect of a Champion. The fans are why we do this Brock, this sport is not about fat paychecks and drama it is about hard work and sacrifice for a shot to do what you did last night. It doesn’t matter how much money you make if you can’t earn your peers respect and the respect and love of the greatest sporting fans in the world. We have no scripts in this sport, no pre-determined earning amount and no pre-determined outcomes. It doesn’t matter if you win or loose it matters how you win or loose.

(Props: Fox Fight Game)

Other notes coming out of the UFC 100 aftermath…

Bruce Buffer, you magnificent son of a bitch, you did it.  You pulled off the Buffer 360 just in time for the UFC 100 main event, and in the process you carved your name into the history books forever and ever.  Centuries from now the bug-like aliens who have taken over our planet will look back on what you accomplished that night in the wasteland of Las Vegas and even they will stop eating human brains long enough to bow their enormous heads in respect to the greatest feat mankind ever accomplished.  Congrats, Bruce.

(Uncontrollable giggling is probably not the reaction Brock had in mind when he got that tattoo. Photo courtesy of MMA Junkie.)

Maybe you’ve been a fan since Gerard Gordeau kicked Teila Tuli’s teeth into the second row. Maybe you’ve been a fan since Griffin and Bonnar threw down at the first TUF finale. Maybe you’re here because "UFC 100" has been a Trending Topic on Twitter all day. Whoever you are, we welcome you.

The menu for tonight: Brock Lesnar seeks Ultimate Validation against the man who humiliated him in his UFC debut. Georges St. Pierre meets the strongest, hungriest, scariest challenger of his title reign. Dan Henderson defends his country’s reputation against the British Invasion. A semi-famous blonde will hold a ring card and blow kisses to the camera. Smart-ass fans may or may not chant "Fedor!" after the final match. Minds will be blown, hearts will be broken, pants will be shat. Are you ready? Are you ready?

Round-by-round updates from the pay-per-view broadcast are after the jump. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest. Start stretching, Bruce…

(Now all he needs to do is fight CB Dollaway with one boxing glove. Photo courtesy of the UFC 100: Weigh Ins set on Combat Lifestyle.)

Spoilers after the jump…

(‘Anyone here order a nice, cool glass of sexy?’)

Let me begin this installment of the UFC scene report with a message for that twelve-year-old kid who thrashed me at UFC Undisputed during yesterday’s Fan Expo: You got lucky.  Lucky that the game designers gave Wanderlei Silva a flash chin and “Rampage” Jackson a ridiculously powerful left hook.  Lucky that you don’t have a job and you get to sit around playing video games all day.  Lucky that I’m too nice a guy to slap a kid in the mouth for gloating after his one-punch KO victory.  

Now that that’s taken care of, let’s move on.

I’ve been to one or two UFC’s in Las Vegas by this point, Potato Nation, but I’ve never seen it like this.  The Fan Expo was a massive throng of humanity, and not just the kind of typical MMA fan humanity that you might expect.  Sure, I did see an infant with a Chuck-hawk, but I also saw a woman in her fifties get really excited when Shane Carwin showed up at the Warrior Wear booth.  I also watched two teenage girls trying earnestly to figure out whether Paulo Thiago was someone they should try to get their picture taken with, before ultimately deciding to take a photo with a cardboard cut-out of Brock Lesnar instead.

(The man must be stopped. Photo courtesy of the UFC 100: Weigh Ins set on Combat Lifestyle.)

(The 245-pound, skullcap-wearing Frank Mir, and Brock Lesnar after his cut to 265.)

- Everybody made weight for UFC 100, even Thiago Alves. (Bloody Elbow)

- Tom Lawlor offers an homage to "Just Bleed" Guy. (UG)

- Anthony Johnson got arrested for domestic violence. (MMA Frenzy)

- Dana White talks sponsor issues, UFC 100 with CNBC. (MMA Payout)

- Dan Henderson predicts a "bad beatdown." (MMA Weekly)

- Kimbo Slice discusses his aspirations to be an Ultimate Fighter. (Cage Writer)

- Bas Rutten reprises his greatest role in "Cell Defense." (MMA Scraps)

- Some fun shots of a WWE diva, just ’cause. (Screen Junkies)

- Random graph extravaganza. (Holy Taco)

- Brock Lesnar is sleeping, eating, and shitting Frank Mir right now. (AskMen)

- Georges St. Pierre has some tricks in his bag that no one has seen yet, and plans to pull them out during the Alves fight. (AskMen)

- 6 things that are making you fat. (Made Man)

- Jeff Gordon murders the national anthem. (All Left Turns)

- A little preview and predictions for UFC 100. (TSB Magazine)

- Cheap shot ends boxing match, starts melee. (Nothing Toxic)

(Angry Brock is angry.)

As mentioned earlier, the editors of CagePotato.com will be taking their beloved "Ben vs. Ben" feature to satellite radio today at 6 p.m. ET on the "SIRIUS Fight Club" show — tune into Sporting News Channel 127, or channel 105 if you’re an XM subscriber.  We’ll run down UFC 100‘s main card, discuss tributes we’d like to see during tomorrow night’s event, and respectfully compare the merits of the Octagon Girls. You don’t want to miss that.

Also, you have about 7 hours left to submit your predictions for the Lyoto Machida "Karate for MMA" DVD pick-off contest. Wouldn’t you like to learn karate in the comfort of your own home? Then get on it, and be sure to have your score counted up by Monday.

(Judging from the jersey colors, it’ll be Team Black vs. Team Black. Subtle. Photo courtesy of Spike. Click for larger image.)

Spike TV revealed the complete cast of The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights this afternoon via press release. Here’s who will be bunkin’ up in the TUF house:

Zak Jensen – standout wrestler at Augsburg College
Marcus Jones – former 1st round NFL draft pick who had a six-year career with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Scott Junk – Division II All-American football player at Southwest Oklahoma State and fought in UFC 76.
James McSweeney – former international kickboxing and Muay Thai champion
John Madsen – defeated Brock Lesnar in a high school wrestling match
Matt Mitrione – played for New York Giants and Minnesota Vikings
Roy Nelson – former IFL Heavyweight Champion
Demico Rogers – high school football and wrestling star
Brendan Schaub – played for Buffalo Bills and Arena Football’s Utah Blaze
Darrill Schoonover – decorated Army veteran
Wes Shivers – former member of the Tennessee Titans and Atlanta Falcons
Wes Sims – fought two heated battles with former UFC champ Frank Mir at UFC 43 and UFC 46
Kimbo Slice – former EliteXC heavyweight contender and YouTube sensation
Abe Wagner – played linebacker at Michigan Tech and has a degree in mechanical engineering
Mike Wessel – UFC veteran and former strength and conditioning coach at University of Arkansas
Justin Wren – All-American high school wrestler

How do you know when you’ve really accomplished something in life?  You get on the Dana White UFC 100 video blog.  Then it’s all groupies and limousines after that, or so we’re hoping. 

Here’s the latest installment of the Danavlog, and you can skip all the other crap and go straight to the end, where he watches our now world famous video of "Rampage" Jackson dry humping Cage Potato correspondent Heather Nichols.  Dana laughs it off with a that-crazy-Rampage kind of expression, but it seems like Heather wasn’t quite as amused.  Si.com talked to her about what was going through her mind during this incident, and she assured them that no, she wasn’t enjoying it, but dammit, she was just trying to be a professional and get the job done, by God.  For the record, she took it better than either of us would have.  We just don’t have what it takes to be sexually assaulted by a pro fighter, at least not after that crazy night in Minsk with Andrei Arlovski.

(This ought to confuse the hell out of the over-70 Keno crowd.)

Just in case you can’t catch us doing our Ben vs. Ben thang on Sirius Fight Club today at 6 pm EST — and you better have a good excuse for that — we now present to you another installment of our bad faith arguments.  Just like UFC 100, shit is epic, son.

If Lesnar beats Frank Mir and unifies the UFC’s heavyweight titles, does that mean we’ll all have to accept him as the legitimate champ, despite his 4-1 record, or will his career be a never-ending struggle for acceptance until he beats Fedor in a climactic street fight?

BF: If Lesnar beats Mir in convincing fashion – meaning without the help of bad officiating, bad judging, or bad breaks – then everyone who keeps insisting that Lesnar is overrated or undeserving is going to have to suck it up and deal.  Beating Mir would prove that he’s not just a big, strong, freakish brute with a bad tattoo.  I mean, he’ll still be all those things, but he’ll also be the undisputed UFC heavyweight champ, who has avenged his only career loss.

(Props: "ultimate tapout")

(Props: This set on Combat Lifestyle)

Not to alarm any of you Georges St. Pierre fans, but Rush has been looking rather lumpy lately. Though he’s made no mention of it in the run up to his UFC 100 fight against Thiago Alves, GSP has been walking around with a cartoonishly swollen elbow — possibly due to bursitis, an inflammation caused by repetitive movement and trauma that may have previously played a role in Marcus Davis’s loss to Mike Swick. Will the injury slow down the welterweight champ, or will GSP use that nasty thing as a club to bash Alves’s teeth down his throat?

(Props: MMA Fanhouse)

Things that Brock Lesnar has no patience for:

— Allegations about his steroid use
— Sodomites
— Steve Mazzagatti
— Press conferences to promote his own main event

The UFC heavyweight champion, upset about a cheap chair and having to talk to a group of strangers, tried to exit the building after being introduced at a UFC 100 press conference held yesterday. Luckily, Dana White was there to chill him out. As DW later told Versus.com, "I’m telling you, nobody wants my job. Everybody thinks it looks good; it’s no fun. Try telling a 400-pound guy to sit down."

Note to Brock’s cornermen: You’d better invest in a quality stool, or Lesnar just might forfeit between the first and second rounds.

INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS Trailer #2 – Watch more free videos
(Props: ScreenJunkies)

Almost as epic as tomorrow’s UFC event? The fact that Quentin Tarantino has a new movie coming out next month called Inglourious Basterds, about a cabal of Jewish-American soldiers who go around scalping Nazis during World War II. And apparently it will be the "exclusive movie partner" of UFC 100. We just got this note from the company that’s helping to promote it:

Well, we dig Tarantino and the UFC and Twitter, so why not? Just one more thing to keep your fingers busy during our liveblog tomorrow, which kicks off at 7 p.m. PT/10 p.m. ET. Don’t miss it!

(Part 3 of Dana White’s UFC 100 video blog, in which he tries and fails to understand the media bias against him. Poor guy. We have no idea why he gets a bad reputation.)

Talking with the media after the UFC 100 press conference on Thursday, UFC president Dana White confirmed that Cro Cop was back on board, and also took a shot at the “sneaky” Japanese promoters who tried to steal him away.  In case you didn’t already know that White is no fan of the way the Japanese handle their MMA, he’d like to make it perfectly clear, to the point of kind of insulting the entire nation:

I have said this many times and I’ll say it again: there’s some crooked sh*t that goes on over in Japan. They’re all crooked. There’s some sneaky sh*t going on over there, and that’s always a big problem, you know. These guys who are in the fight business over there, for my Mexican friends, ‘No bueno. No bueno.’

(You could cut the sexual tension with a sword.)

Give yourselves a hand, Potato Nation.  You really got after this one, and a select few of you even remembered to tell us whether you are geographically eligible to win this contest.  Props to 831 Son for berating those of you who forgot.  This is not ‘Nam.  This is a caption contest.  There are rules.

But before we get to the winner of the free tickets to see UFC 100 on a ridiculously big screen at Radio City Music Hall this Saturday night, let’s take a look at some commendable runner-ups, who will all get a t-shirt for their troubles:

"Hey Tim, remember how I used to call you a fag in high school? Well, Mayhem Miller just called…" – Lysol

Tim didn’t have the heart to tell Brock that "Hammerfist" really wasn’t an unbeatable option in Rock, Paper, Scissors. – Horror Fighter

Not pictured: Fedor Emelianenko, human dignity – Aptninja

DILLON! YOU SON OF A BITCH! – YesSir47

And our New York-area winner is…

CagePotato.com Interviews Quinton Rampage Jackson – Watch more Funny Videos

When we sent our friend Heather Nichols to interview Quinton Jackson on the set of an upcoming Super Dave Osbourne special, we had no idea it would open up such a massive can of worms. What you’ll see above is the interview that everyone expected — ‘Page talks about his rivalry with Rashad Evans, what he’s doing differently during his second stint as a TUF coach, and Michael Bisping‘s chances against Dan Henderson, all in a very reserved and polite sort of way. And then this happened. Crazy. Props to Heather for keeping her cool; you can show her some love at Twitter.com/HeatherNichols, Facebook.com/HeatherNicholsActress, and MySpace.com/HeatherNicholsActress. Bonus pics of the Internet’s most famous dry-hump victim are below.

(Index finger, hospital; middle finger, cemetery.)

Yesterday’s rumors of Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic returning to the UFC just got considerably realer. According to MMA Weekly, Cro Cop has dropped out of his scheduled DREAM 10 match against Mighty Mo, in order to free up his schedule for a fight against Junior Dos Santos at UFC 103 (September 19th, Dallas). Said Dos Santos, who was originally slated to face Justin McCully at UFC 102:

Considering how pissed off Dana White was when Cro Cop first flew the coop, it’s a little surprising that he’s being given a second chance. The UFC must have big plans for him in the heavyweight division. But Santos — who has run through Fabricio Werdum and Stefan Struve in a combined 2:15 of fight time during his stint in the UFC — has a way of laughing at men’s plans, then crapping all over them.

So you’re in Vegas and trying to figure out how you can come party with us, MMA stars of all shapes and sizes, and the crew from Fight! Magazine?  It’s simple…in the way that it is totally complicated.  You see, I (BF) have in my possession a handful of wristbands that will get you to the front of the line at Tryst on Friday night and knock the cover charge down from a criminal $50 for the commonfolk to a merely unreasonable $20 ($10 if you’re a woman, which is totally some sexist bullshit if you ask me) for friends of the Potato.  All you have to do to get yours is find me and ask nicely.

The hard part is, you have to find me on or around the Vegas strip on a weekend when the place is flooded with MMA fans.  To help you out, I’ll be updating my current location on Cage Potato’s official Twitter page, and I’ll be wearing a Cage Potato Hall of Fame shirt as I make my rounds.  You can also use a little common sense to find me at the Fan Expo.  

(Another installment in the series: Situations That Would Be Terrifying in Prison.)

It’s finally time for the big show and some big bets, which means all the money we’ve saved not paying our court-mandated child support is really going to prove useful.  Not that you need the thrill of online wagering to get you pumped for a fight card this big.  Sort of like how you don’t need to drink to have a good time.  But as long as the option exists…

Our odds today come from BestFightOdds.com:

Brock Lesnar (-220) vs. Frank Mir (+201)
Georges St. Pierre (-285) vs. Thiago Alves (+280)
Jon Fitch (-400) vs. Paulo Thiago (+377)
Dan Henderson (-205) vs. Michael Bisping (+190)
Yoshihiro Akiyama (-237) vs. Alan Belcher (+220)
Stephan Bonnar (-320) vs. Mark Coleman (+300)
Jim Miller (-164) vs. Mac Danzig (+160)
Jon Jones (-400) vs. Jake O’Brien (+350)
Dong Hyun Kim (-250) vs. TJ Grant (+250)
CB Dollaway (-205) vs. Tom Lawlor (+205)
Matt Grice (-125) vs. Shannon Gugerty (even)

So where’s our money going?

(Props: BRadewitz)

Though he became extinct when Zuffa took over the UFC, the giant-fisted Mr. Ultimate had a long run as the UFC’s official mascot. He had a Tito Ortiz-sized head, he enjoyed smashing the world into pieces, and we loved him. Now you can relive those wild pre-Dana days with this throwback t-shirt from Junk Food. Stand next to somebody wearing one of the UFC’s current eyesores, and bask in how much cooler you look by comparison. And while you’re adding the shirt to your Junk Food shopping cart, you might as well buy this and this.

(Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

According to Ryan Bader’s Twitter page, the TUF 8 light-heavyweight winner will return to action at UFC 104 (October 24th, Los Angeles) against "Eric Shaufer." (We’re assuming that means Eric Schafer, the UFC vet who’s coming off back-to-back first-round stoppages of Houston Alexander and Antonio Mendes.) If the announcement is accurate, it would be a surprisingly quick comeback for Bader, who wrecked his knee during his three-round domination of Carmelo Marrero in April; early predictions said he’d be out of action for up to a year. UFC 104 will be headlined by the light-heavyweight title fight between Lyoto Machida and Mauricio Rua, and may also feature the heavyweight contenders match between Shane Carwin and Cain Velasquez.

(Apparently LookOutAWhale is not a Bisping fan. Ouch.)

You want to know how close the Fertitta’s came to giving up on this zany UFC experiment?  Then read this insightful article by Neil Davidson, which effectively portrays Dana White as a man with the virtues of his faults.  For example, there was the time he fired the entire production crew for not doing things just how he wanted.  Kind of makes sense that the same guy who built the industry leader by kicking asses and micro-managing his way to the top can also be more than a little too controlling at times.  (See also: Sponsor Smackdown)

In other news…

(We haven’t seen a meeting of the minds this powerful since the Potsdam Conference. Hi-yo! What, no history teachers read this site?)

Good news, New York MMA fans.  No, Bob Reilly hasn’t been crushed by a large rock, but almost as good.  Thanks to the fine people at the MSG Fight Club, we’re giving away two free passes to the UFC 100 viewing party at Radio City Music Hall this Saturday night.  Not only will our lucky winner get to watch Brock Lesnar and Frank Mir go at it in high-def on a 70′x35′ screen, there’s also an exclusive autograph session with Matt Hamill and Frankie Edgar for the first 200 fans in the door, plus a general Q&A with them before the fights go live at 10 pm EST.  All you have to do is caption the above photo in a manner that we deem most amusing.

If you aren’t clever enough to win, you can still get tickets at a 10% discount by going here and entering the code: UFCFACE.  So worst case scenario, you watch UFC 100 on a ridiculously big screen for less than the price of ordering the pay-per-view yourself. 

We’ll announce the winner tomorrow, and since we realize that even you non-New Yorkers can’t resist trying your hand with this one, how about including something in your entry to let us know if you could actually attend this thing or not.  (And if the reason you can’t attend is because you’re in Vegas, keep your eye out tomorrow for info on how you can get into our pre-fight party with Fight Magazine at Tryst nightclub.)  Now have at it Potato Nation, and don’t let us down. 

(Nate Diaz: Not here to make friends.)

Yesterday we gazed in wonder at the poster for UFC Fight Night 19, which is being headlined, rather improbably, by a fight between Nate Diaz and Melvin Guillard. This new article about the event on UFC.com doesn’t really explain why the match is getting such a push, but it does provide some insight into Diaz’s current emotional state:

If any of you Potato Heads live in New York and are either unemployed or have a job that allows you to skip out for a couple hours in the afternoon, keep next Tuesday free. Gina Carano and Cris Cyborg will be appearing at the WaMu Theater at Madison Square Garden to promote their cute little Strikeforce title fight on August 15th, and will be participating in a public workout outside the theatre directly following (weather permitting), with an actual cage set up on the corner of 33rd and 8th. Fans will be able to take photos and get body parts signed. I’ll be lurking around trying to get some time with the headliners, so holler at me via Twitter or email if you’ll be there.