Dan Severn, the fifty-one year-old MMA pioneer and owner of one of the two sweetest mustaches in the sport’s history, is back in action at this Saturday’s Gladiator Challenge in Konocti, California.  It will be Severn’s fourth bout this year and the 113^th of his fifteen-year career.  That, my friends, is what we call ‘prolific.’ 

Sure, it’s impressive that Randy Couture is still competing at the highest level of the sport at 46 years-old.  But it’s impressive in a completely different way that “The Beast” is still getting in there against whoever you got.  Want him to fight some dude with zero pro fights to his credit?  No problem.  Need him to be at some show known only as “Independent Event” in Alabama?  Just tell him what time he needs to be at Hooter’s for weigh-ins.  Severn will fight a clown at your kid’s birthday party if the money is right, and dammit, we can appreciate that.

(Submission savant Megumi Fujii. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

When "Carano vs. Cyborg" pulled in 856,000 viewers on Showtime, it proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that there could be a market for women’s MMA outside of Japanese all-girl leagues and one-off fights in the U.S. Strikeforce and Bellator are both planning high-profile women’s tournaments, and 2010 could be the year that women finally gain some measure of equality in the sport. In honor of the coming revolution, we’ve launched a top 5 women’s pound-for-pound list in our Power Rankings section; get to know these warriors below, and let us know what you think.

*****

1: Megumi Fujii (18-0)
Armed with grappling credentials that include two BJJ championships at the Pan American Games and nine All-Japan Sambo titles, Fujii has tapped 15 of her 18 opponents during her five-year MMA career, and outpointed the other three. Her relentless, inventive ground attack is reminiscent of Kazushi Sakuraba in his prime, and at just 115 pounds, the 35-year-old packs more talent per ounce than any other woman in the world. In a sport where retiring undefeated is a mythical feat, Fujii just might pull it off.
Watch this: Fujii’s "Alive" and "Hurt" highlight reels.

2: Tara LaRosa (17-1)

Though Gina Carano and Cris Cyborg draw more attention, hardcore fans know that Tara LaRosa is the most talented female fighter our country has to offer. The former women’s bantamweight champ of BodogFight, LaRosa has run through a who’s who of U.S. talent including Roxanne Modafferi, Amanda Buckner, Shayna Baszler, and Kelly Kobold. She hasn’t lost since 2003, and she’s finished her last seven fights by stoppage. The word is that she’ll be competing next in a women’s 125-pound tournament for Bellator; if that works out, get ready for a whole new batch of YouTube highlights.
Watch this: Tara LaRosa vs. Shayna Baszler

(Time to earn that thing, Effy. Photo courtesy of MMA Frenzy.)

In what will hopefully become a recurring trend, the UFC has decided to air a two-hour commercial-free telecast of UFC 103‘s undercard on Spike TV as a lead-in to the pay-per-view card, according to the OC Register. And why are we being treated to such generosity? Well, MMA-hater Floyd Mayweather Jr. is fighting Juan Manuel Marquez on the same night, and Dana White wants to be a pain in their asses. That’s good enough for us. It’s only a matter of time before the UFC begins counter-programming NBA playoff games and presidential addresses.

UFC 103, which will be headlined by Rich Franklin vs. Vitor Belfort, and also features Mirko Cro Cop vs. Junior Dos Santos, Mike Swick vs. Martin Kampmann, and Josh Koscheck vs. Frank Trigg, has a whopping eight fights scheduled for the undercard. It’s hard to imagine all of them will make the broadcast, but we could be seeing the returns of Vladimir Matyushenko and Dan Lauzon, the Octagon debut of Paul Daley, and Efrain Escudero‘s first fight since winning TUF 8‘s lightweight trophy. UFC 103′s full lineup is after the jump.

(Finally we’ll discover whether Liddell still knows how to relate to women in a non-nightclub setting.)

Looking back now, it’s hard to believe there was a time when we thought that continuing to fight in the UFC was the worst thing Chuck Liddell could do for his long-term health and career legacy.  Then he decided to join a televised dance contest with a bunch of "celebrities" and a disgraced former congressman, and suddenly we find ourselves wishing that he’d just come back and get hit in the head over and over again instead.

According to ET Online, "The Iceman" has been partnered with Russian professional ballroom dancer [ed note: that's a real thing?!] Anna Trebunskaya for the upcoming season of "Dancing with the Stars."  Her previous partners on the show include NFL legend Jerry Rice, and actor Steve Guttenberg, who you might remember from such decades as the 1980′s.  Following in Guttenberg’s dancing shoes won’t be easy — dude was in "Police Academy" and "Short Circuit" — but if there’s anyone willing to sort of give it a shot in between text messages, it’s Liddell.

(Brown Pride vs. White Beef.)

With the Brock Lesnar vs. Shane Carwin rumor now widely confirmed, multiple sources are reporting that Cain Velasquez will now take on new UFC acquisition Ben Rothwell at UFC 104. Unfortunately, this means Chase Gormley has been left without an opponent. On the other hand, who cares about Chase Gormley? The battle between the young juggernaut (Velasquez) and the big, hardy veteran (Rothwell) may determine the UFC’s next heavyweight contender after Carwin. Who ya got?

In other UFC news…

— That rumor about Gilbert Yvel being picked up by the UFC is probably bullshit.

(Props: all elbows)

AllElbows.com‘s latest bit of King Mo-related video hype focuses on Mo’s last fight against Ryo Kawamura at Sengoku 7. It was the first time that Lawal wasn’t able to finish an opponent, and he explains that was because his knee was injured during the fight, not because he couldn’t destroy Kawamura if he wanted to. Blame Dean Lister. Now that Mo has gone through knee surgery and rehab, he’s ready to start knocking fools out again.

As you may recall, his next opponent will be Mark Kerr, the waaaaaaay-past-his-prime UFC/PRIDE old-schooler, who’s currently riding a four-fight losing streak. Kerr is a replacement for Don Frye, who disgraced himself by pulling out of the fight. The ridiculous squash match will headline M-1 Global’s "Breakthrough" event in Kansas City next Friday, which will be broadcast live on HDNet beginning at 9 p.m. CT. Other fights on the card include Karl Amoussou vs. John Doyle, and that weird sparring exhibition between Fedor Emelianenko and Gegard Mousasi. If you can find the motivation to DVR this thing at some point in the next week, congratulations — you are a hardcore MMA fan.

After the jump: A classic-rock soundtracked tribute to heavyweight fighters and the interconnectedness of all humanity.

(Coker lays out Strikeforce’s Fedor plan for Cage Writer)

There’s something about hearing Scott Coker say that he plans to get Fedor Emelianenko on TV once or twice before giving him a shot at the Strikeforce heavyweight title that makes me cringe.  It’s sort of like going on a picnic and declaring that nothing could possibly ruin this perfect day.  You’re just begging to be attacked by fire ants and hornets before being washed away by a flash flood.

I can understand why Coker thinks Fedor is Strikeforce’s ticket to pay-per-view success, and why that trail needs to be blazed with one or even two instances of Fedor clubbing some warm piece of meat (no offense, Paul Buentello) on Showtime before fans are willing to cough up the cash to see him fight for a title.  But there’s a troubling hypocrisy about that logic that is impossible to ignore.

When I was a kid it was considered something of an accomplishment to have beaten “Mike Tyson’s Punch Out!” on Nintendo.  Then one day the kid who probably should have been in special classes beat it and brought in a Polaroid of the final screen as proof.  Years later he would start a wildfire that destroyed several homes and we never saw him again, but that’s not the point.  The point is, the pool jump is now to the sporting world what beating “Punch Out!” was to my elementary school.  Not that Jake Rosholt isn’t a fantastic athlete – he obviously is – but he’s also a kind of goofy-looking white guy who manages to make even the backwards pool jump look somehow unimpressive.  I don’t know how he does it.

Like the first time your dad referred to something as “the bomb,” the Jake Rosholt Pool Jump is the undeniable sign that pool jumps are no longer cool.  Time to move on to some other essentially pointless display of athleticism.  How about jumping out of a pool, through a hoop of fire, and into a different pool, all without spilling your drink.  You can’t tell me that there’s not some NBA player out there who’s bored with the off-season and looking for a way to kill an afternoon.

(Photos courtesy of tsbmag.com and obsessedwithsports.com.)

MMA Madness and Fighters Only are both reporting that Shane Carwin has been pulled from his UFC 104 bout against Cain Velasquez, and will instead take on Brock Lesnar at UFC 106 (November 21, Las Vegas). Velasquez may remain on the UFC 104 card against a different opponent.

In the original scenario of Carwin vs. Velasquez as a #1 heavyweight contender fight, Brock Lesnar would have to sit out until early 2010. If the new reports are accurate, it would suggest that the UFC (or Brock himself) thought it would be best if Lesnar fought one more time this year, even if the challenger hasn’t definitively earned his shot. Not that Carwin can’t compete with Lesnar, but it would have been ideal if the Engineer of Pain had one more fight to build up his name. Carwin had this to say on his website:

Can’t confirm or deny? Well, we know what that means…

(This photo was taken directly after Gilbert stomped a waitress to death for bringing him a Bud instead of a Bud Light. Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.)

He may be infamous for biting, eye-gouging, and referee-assaulting, but that doesn’t mean Gilbert Yvel wouldn’t be a welcome addition to the UFC. Buried in a report about Lil’ Nog’s recent signing, MMA Weekly claims that Yvel is on the list of fighters who have been picked up by Zuffa after the collapse of Affliction. The 33-year-old Dutch heavyweight — who sports a record of 36-13-1 with one no-contest, and has claimed all of his wins by stoppage — most recently scored a grisly knockout over Pedro Rizzo at June’s "Ultimate Chaos" show. Before that, he got crushed by Josh Barnett at Affliction: Day of Reckoning, which snapped a seven-fight win streak.

(‘After further review, the ruling in the cage is reversed. Anthony Johnson will not be charged with a timeout, and Kevin Burns may now be referred to as "Pokey" for the rest of his career.’)

There’s a saying in our little world: as the Nevada State Athletic Commission goes, so goes MMA.  Nah, I just made that up right now, but it might as well be a saying.  The NSAC plays a pivotal role in dictating general policy in the fight world, and for the most part they’ve set the gold standard that California has repeatedly failed to live up to.  Now they’re really getting with the times and adding instant replay for MMA (they’re not the first, however), but only for specific circumstances.  Keith Kizer explains when replay can be used:  

“It will be on the immediate ending of a fight due to injury and the referee feels that it would be beneficial to him or her to review the tape to see what the cause of the injury was. What caused that injury – was it a foul, was it a legal blow?”

(Props: caposa3)

MMA compilation-video specialist "Caposa" has just released the fourth installment of a series featuring the year’s most memorable knockouts and submissions in North America. He also has a separate series devoted to Japanese MMA; you can see that, as well as parts 1-3 of this series, by clicking here. And if you do delve deeper into his work, you’ll notice that Caposa favors understated ambient music to soundtrack his vids, adding a soothing counterpoint to the visual brutality. Great stuff. This guy just might join the ranks of such MMA highlight reel legends as GenghisCon and me.

(James Wilks chokes out DaMarques Johnson at the TUF 9 finale in June. Props: OC Register)

If you’re like us, you may have already forgotten that there was a ninth season of The Ultimate Fighter, which featured a bunch of guys from the U.K., two of whom won six-figure contracts with the UFC. But what TUF 9 lacked in drama and overall talent level, it more than made up for in…in…uh…sorry, lost my train of thought there. Anyway, James Wilks is probably going to fight Matt "The Immortal" Brown at UFC 105 (November 14th, Manchester). Oddly enough, it will be Wilks’s first fight in England; the well-rounded welterweight scrapper moved to the U.S. in 2000, and competed only in California before joining the TUF 9 cast. Brown is the TUF 7 vet and former drug addict who has looked very sharp following his reality show stint, and is coming off back-to-back stoppage victories over Ryan Thomas and (infamously) Pete Sell.

Also on the Manchester card will be Wilks’s TUF 9 rival, DaMarques Johnson. According to MMA Weekly, the Salt Lake City native will be taking on Peter Sobotta, who dropped a unanimous decision to Paul Taylor during his Octagon debut at UFC 99. Needless to say, the loser of this fight had better hope that Strikeforce is hiring. As of now, no other fights have been confirmed for UFC 105.

Episode three of SI.com’s “What It Takes” series with Randy Couture delves a little deeper into his striking training for the UFC 102 bout with Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira, and it seems as if Couture wasn’t kidding when he told us he thought kickboxing was going to be an important facet to beating Big Nog.  Considering that Nogueira got picked apart on the feet by Frank Mir, regardless of whether he was anywhere near 100% that night or not, it’s probably a sound game plan for Couture to use his wrestling to stay upright while testing Nogueira’s striking skills.

After the jump, a video promo for UFC 103 that actually succeeded in reminding us that there’s a pretty hype-worthy card coming to Dallas in September.  And that’s without even mentioning the Josh Koscheck/Frank Trigg fight that you all can’t stop talking about.  Just kidding.  We know it’s really Efrain Escudero/Cole Miller that has you truly pumped up.

(Either Wanderlei had surgery or else he’s getting a head start on his James Carville costume for this year’s Zuffa Halloween party. Photo thanks to Fightlinker.)

It looks like the rumored Michael Bisping-Wanderlei Silva bout won’t be happening at UFC 105 in Manchester, England, and as usual when something bad happens, a plastic surgeon is to blame.  Bisping wrote in a blog post earlier this week that Silva had undergone facial surgery and would be out for the rest of the year.  Judging from the picture above that appears to be the case, and now at least we know what his manager was talking about when he said Silva would be taking some time off to heal his body and mind. 

Not that we can’t understand why a guy like Silva would opt to do something about the several pounds worth of scar tissue in his face, but it does seem like unusual timing.  Not only does this put him on the sidelines for a while, it also seems like money that’s bound to go to waste.  Unless Silva is considering retiring soon or drastically changing his fighting style, he’s probably got more scar tissue coming his way in the near future.

But now that we know for sure it won’t be “The Axe Murderer” who takes on Bisping at UFC 105, we ask yet again, now what?

A couple weeks ago, the dudes at Asylum.com were kind enough to invite me onto the fifth installment of Masterclash, their video-podcast covering manly, mannish, masculine issues, with a healthy dose of hell-yeah. (I’m the one with the CagePotato t-shirt and Grimhawk; don’t worry, I shaved it off yesterday.) The topics of the day were as follows: Which MMA technique would be the best to employ in a street fight? How much of your day is spent ogling women? What’s the greatest thing you could accomplish while on a cocktail of alcohol, cocaine, PCP, and hallucinogenic mushrooms? Which Taco Bell item gives you the most gastro-intestinal distress? Etc., etc. And we did it all while guzzling 40s of a malt liquor beverage that shall not be named. Mad props to Anthony, Jake, and Brian for letting me be a part of it. You can subscribe to Masterclash on iTunes simply by clicking here.

(BG)

(Props: Planetamma.com.br via MMA Mania)

Though it was snubbed from the UFC 102 extended trailer, the middleweight bout between Nate Marquardt and Demian Maia is as significant as any other fight on the card. At most, the winner will find himself one win away from a shot at Anderson Silva‘s 185-pound title. In the above video profile, Marquardt says his goal is to be the best in every area of MMA. He’ll try to keep the fight standing, but he isn’t afraid to go to the ground with Maia. After the jump, Maia describes jiu-jitsu as the "boat" that led him to MMA, and says he’ll be sticking to his strengths next Saturday. "It’s no secret, if I can grapple with him I prefer [it]." So whose gameplan will come out on top? Your predictions, please…

(Mayhem Miller is back for another season of "Bully Beatdown," and he’s brought some friends with him.)

Good news for those of you whose lives have felt just a little bit emptier since the last time Tito Ortiz got his name in the news for actually fighting someone.  Seems as though Ortiz and Mark Coleman will go at it at UFC 106 on November 21.  Sources in Coleman’s camp say they’ve agreed to the bout, which means that as long as Ortiz doesn’t punk out the winner of this bout should have a career rejuvenation to be thankful for this year.  The loser will spend the holiday gulping down whiskey in a rocking chair, looking out the window at the dead leaves on the lawn and thinking about when he was young and the future seemed more like a promise and less like a threat.

In other news…

(Little Nog faces a young and armbar-able Dan Henderson back in Pride.)

After Gegard Mousasi violated Renato Sobral on the cheap (at least as far as the IRS knows) at Saturday’s Strikeforce event, you may recall that we wondered out loud who they might possibly sign to face that guy, now that he’s their light heavyweight champion.  The only good options we came up with were “King Mo” Lawal and Antonio Rogerio Nogueira, which would at least be enough to get them through the next six to eight months.  But unless Big Nog has no idea what’s going on in his brother’s life, at least one of those options is now off the table. 

During today’s UFC 102 conference call Nogueira said that his brother is coming to the UFC “for sure.”  While he acknowledged that there were still some details to be ironed out before the UFC could officially announce the signing of Lil’ Nog, he seemed absolutely positive that the deal would be done soon, which also means that Strikeforce will lose out on another good prospect for their light heavyweight division.

(How do you say "Don’t be scared, homey" in Armenian? Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

Following recent action in the UFC, Strikeforce, and Sengoku, we’ve updated the lightweight, welterweight, light-heavyweight, heavyweight, and pound-for-pound lists in our Power Rankings section. First, a word about the P4P top ten…

Can we all agree that Anderson Silva, Fedor Emelianenko, and Georges St. Pierre are the three best fighters in the world right now, and any attempt to rank them is completely subjective, and therefore meaningless? Instead of creating a three-way tie at the top (which I briefly considered), we’re going to do it like this until further notice: Whoever has the most recent awe-inspiring, damn-near-inhuman performance gets to be #1.

(Well look at Strikeforce trying to harness the power of the Internet. Who do they think they are, Bellator? Video courtesy of shosports.)

During her stint in EliteXC, Gina Carano was paid far less than her value to the company. It’s good to see that’s not the case in Strikeforce — though unfortunately, money doesn’t guarantee victories. MMA Mania passes along the disclosed salary figures for all the fighters who competed at "Carano vs. Cyborg," with Carano and Renato Sobral leading the pack. The numbers are below…

Cristiane "Cyborg" Santos: $25,000 (includes $5,000 win bonus)
Gina Carano: $125,000

Gegard Mousasi: $2,000* (no win bonus)
Renato Sobral: $75,000

Gilbert Melendez: $50,000 (no win bonus)
Mitsuhiro Ishida: $30,000

Fabricio Werdum: $50,000 (includes $25,000 win bonus)
Mike Kyle: $14,000

At UFC 102 in Portland on August 29, former UFC champ Randy Couture takes on Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira in a battle between two of the sport’s most venerable veterans.  It’s a fight to see who still has the chops to compete in the UFC’s heavyweight class, though Couture insists he isn’t looking at it that way.  In this interview “The Natural” talks about his preparation for Big Nog, how Brock Lesnar may have set MMA back a few years, and where he sees himself after this fight is in the books.

Thanks for talking with me, Randy.  How has your training been going for this fight, and what are you focusing on to help you beat a guy like Nogueira?

It’s going really well.  Training’s been great.  I’ve been working a lot on my jiu-jitsu.  I think that’s going to be a critical tool to have sharp for Nogueira.  I’ve been working on my boxing and kickboxing, and I think that’s going to play a key role in this fight because of my wrestling background.  As always I’m working a lot on strength and conditioning as well with Jake, our strength coach, and I’m feeling great.  I feel a peak coming.

The last time we saw Nogueira he looked like he just wasn’t himself.  Are you expecting to face the old Nogueira that we saw in Pride, or do you think that was a sign that he may be on the downward slope of his career?

Despite all the things he does well as a fighter, Mike Swick is not a very good bowler.  I found this out when I went to San Jose recently to do a Fight Magazine cover story on him (September issue, on newsstands everywhere Aug. 25, though if you were a subscriber you’d already have yours) and he invited me to come bowling with him and his wife.  As I would learn, even a night at the bowling alley is an intense affair for the Swick househould.

If you couldn’t tell from the video, Swick is a competitive guy.  Even though he doesn’t bowl often, and even though I bowled probably the best game of my life through some glorious accident, he couldn’t quite let it go.  He accused me of spending all my free time in bowling alleys (not true, I sometimes go to movies), and a week later I got a text message from him informing me that he beat my score at Wii bowling (my response: “I just beat Anderson Silva at UFC Undisputed, so now we both know there’s a big gap between video games and reality.”)

(Photo courtesy of Strikeforce.)

As first reported by f4wonline.com and confirmed by FiveOuncesofPain, members of Mitsuhiro Ishida‘s camp have issued a verbal complaint to the California State Athletic Commission that Gilbert Melendez was illegally greased up during their fight at Saturday’s Strikeforce event. Melendez defeated Ishida by third-round TKO in a one-sided match marked by Melendez’s flawless counter-punching and takedown defense. During their first meeting in 2007, Ishida was able to control Melendez with his takedowns and grappling, which could explain why Ishida thought something didn’t feel right in San Jose. Melendez, of course, dismissed the charges as ludicrous, telling Sherdog:

Ishida has until the end of the week to file a formal complaint in writing if he wants to further pursue the charge. As we’ve seen in the past, greasing accusations can be effective if you’re Japanese, and the guy who beat you is Korean, and the fight took place in Japan. It’s a lot harder to find sympathy in the U.S., even when you have an entire music video’s worth of evidence.

(Props: Heavy via MMA Mania)

This coming weekend will be a quiet one in the world of MMA, but two Saturdays from now, the UFC will descend on Portland’s Rose Garden Arena for UFC 102, which will be headlined by a heavyweight battle between two legends — Randy Couture and Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira. The above video trailer does its best to downplay their recent losses to Brock Lesnar and Frank Mir, respectively, but Dana White does mention that it’s a fight where "we’re going to see where they are in the heavyweight division." The storyline for Randy (as always) is that he can never be counted out, even though he’s 46 years old, while Joe Rogan calls Minotauro "one of the most durable fighters to ever fight in all of mixed martial arts" and drools over his submission prowess.

The other featured bout in the trailer is Keith Jardine vs. Thiago Silva. The Dean of Mean isn’t too bothered by his rocky path in the light-heavyweight division, saying "I’m taking the hard road to the title, but I’m gonna make it to the top, it’s only a matter of time." Also: "My goal is find my opponent’s soul and take it from him." As Joe Rogan sees it, this fight "represents to me two guys who are desperately in need for a win…two guys coming off losses with a lot to prove."

Related: Citing Oregon’s deep recession and aggressive tax policy, MMA Payout reports that UFC 102 is far from sold out, particularly in the higher-priced sections. So if you live near the Rose Garden, you may want to show up the day of the event…

While hanging around San Jose for this past weekend’s Strikeforce event, Brett Rogers gave this interview to MMANews.com, where he said he hopes Strikeforce heavyweight champ Alistair Overeem will “man up” and fight him soon.  Of course, that implies that Overeem is staying out of action due to issues of bitchassness, rather than because he nearly lost his hand after brawling with some bouncers.  Not surprisingly, Overeem’s manager, Bas Boon, wasn’t going to let that remark slip by uncontested:

“Does Brett Rogers think this help’s him? Alistair trains everyday with punchers like Errol Zimmerman, Gokhan Saki, Karaev, Sergei Kharitonov, and Semmy Schilt. He knocked out one of the best strikers in the world in Badr Hari in the first round under Hari’s rules (K-1). He fought three rounds against three time K-1 World Champion Remy Bojasky and would have won that fight had they counted the second round knock down. What exactly does Brett Rogers have on his record?”

(If you loved him, Anderson, you’d want him to be happy. And if you wanted him to be happy, you’d do whatever he tells you to at all times. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

Sooner or later UFC fighters are going to figure out that the best way to get a fight with a specific opponent is to publicly declare that they will not, under any circumstances, fight that person.  Not only will Dana White be unable to resist trying to make you fight that person, he’ll also probably end up paying you a little extra to do it.  For example, look at how he refuses to give up on the idea of pitting Anderson Silva against his best buddy, Lyoto Machida.  

Even though Silva says he won’t do it, ever, no matter what, White still talks as if it’s simply a matter of him playing Emperor and forcing them into the arena together:

(Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

According to MMA Fanhouse, WEC featherweight prospect Cole Province has tested positive for the designer anabolic steroid Methasterone, following his unanimous decision win over Fredson Paixao at WEC 42:

The 28-year-old Oklahoma native is the fourth MMA fighter to test positive for steroids this year — following Kirill Sidelnikov, Ken Shamrock, and Josh Barnett — but just the first fighter to piss dirty in Nevada since Kit Cope in January 2007. Province only made six grand for his recent win, and will likely be giving up a sizable chunk of it to the NSAC. We’ll update the definitive timeline as soon as we learn more about Province’s punishment and response.

Related: All fighters who competed at Strikeforce: Carano vs. Cyborg tested clean for "drugs of abuse." Results from steroid tests will come back in three to four weeks.

("Cris? Do you think that maybe *I* could be on top tonight?"
"Get a decent win streak together and we’ll talk." Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

Practical jokes are like knockout punches — they both rely on timing for maximum devastation. Cristiane and Evangelista "Cyborg" Santos understand this better than anybody. Who knows why they’d want to give Strikeforce CEO Scott Coker a heart attack the night before an already cursed event, but  oh boy did they get him:

Too bad we couldn’t be there to see Coker’s reaction. We’re guessing it looked something like this.