minimalist movie posters
21 Incredible Minimalist Movie Posters

September, 2009

The Trouble With Gray Maynard (And Why It’s Not All His Fault)

Gray Maynard
(What no one told Gray Maynard about the UFC’s locker room bonuses is that if you win in spectacular fashion, you get a big check. But every time you notch a plodding decision, you get stuck with another orphan.)

A Gray Maynard fight is a little but like a Michael Bay movie.  You always know exactly what you’re going to get, and even though it isn’t anything that’s going to change your life, it’s still not a terrible way to spend a Wednesday night if you go into it with the right attitude.  What Maynard showed once again against a game Roger Huerta is that he’s patient.  He said his plan was to move in and throw no more than two punches at a time before getting out, and that’s what he did.  He wanted to avoid getting into a shootout with Huerta, and he was successful.  In short, Maynard fought the smartest fight he could in order to guarantee victory.  So why does the possibility of him getting a title shot seem more like a threat than a hopeful promise?

It’s simple, really, and the answer lies with Nate Quarry, who also won a decision on last night’s Fight Night card, pocketing a Fight of the Night bonus in the process.  As Quarry said in his pre-fight comments, you don’t become a legend by winning decisions.  Unless, as was the case in his bout with Credeur, those decisions come at the end of a back-and-forth slugfest.  The point is, nobody likes to see a fighter play it safe.  Limiting yourself to two-punch combos may be a great way to limit the possibility of being caught with a good counter, but it’s a horrible way to make fans excited about seeing you fight, which is exactly what Maynard himself said is standing in between him and a potential title shot.

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TUF 10′s Abe Wagner Confirms, “Rampage” Jackson Is No Coaching Genius

Ultimate Fighter 10 Abe Wagner
(‘So basically my plan is…[zzzz]…whoa, sorry about that. Sometimes the monotonous sound of my own voice makes me nod off in the middle of sentences.’)

If there’s one thing we’ve learned by watching "Rampage" Jackson over the years, it’s that while he’s a tough-as-nails fighter and a natural entertainer, at times he seems to lack some basic reasoning skills and the ability to conceive of a future that is shaped by his decisions in the present.  Maybe that’s why he made such poor use of the opportunity to pick the first fight on this season of "The Ultimate Fighter," or maybe it’s because he and Tiki spent too much time during fighter evaluations making fun of dudes and throwing the word "titties" around.  Either way, as Abe Wagner tells the story in his Fight Magazine blog, Jackson made some serious miscalculations when choosing to put Wagner up against John Madsen, and everybody saw it but "Rampage" himself:

Right after our team was formed, Rampage asked who wanted to fight right away, and me and one or two other guys raised their hands. Nothing really further was decided at that time, but about a half hour before the first fight announcement (and incidentally before we even had our first team practice) he approached me and told me he wanted me to fight first. I told him I was game and asked who he had in mind.

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Quarry, Credeur, Diaz, and Stephens Pick Up UFC Fight Night Bonuses

Justin Buchholz cut UFC Jeremy Stephens
(It was truly a great night for gashes. Image courtesy of MMA Mania.)

The UFC doled out $30,000 best-of-night bonuses to four fighters at last night’s "Diaz vs. Guillard" event. The extra bread was awarded to…

Fight of the Night: Nate Quarry and Tim Credeur for their three-round slugfest, which Quarry took by unanimous decision. I would have given it to Carlos Condit and Jake Ellenberger, whose fight was much more technical and varied, but hey, the crowd loves a good brawl, and Quarry/Credeur was a great one.

Submission of the Night: Nate Diaz, who was responsible for one of the night’s three guillotine-choke submissions. Amazingly, this is the fifth-straight fight in which Diaz has won an end-of-night bonus. Previously, he received Fight of the Night bonuses for his wars against Joe Stevenson, Clay Guida, and Josh Neer, and a Submission of the Night bonus against Kurt Pellegrino.

Knockout of the Night: Jeremy Stephens by default, since there were no other KOs/TKOs on the card. Stephens didn’t actually knock Justin Buchholz out, but he was whaling on him pretty good until the fight was stopped in the first round due to the hatchet-wound shown above.

UFC Fight Night 19 drew 7,500 spectators for a reported live gate of $650,000.

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‘TUF 10′ Episode 1 Recap: Halloween Comes Early

Abe Wagner Jon Madsen TUF 10 MMA UFC

The tenth season of The Ultimate Fighter kicked off last night after UFC Fight Night 19, and thank God there are no members of the Browning family involved this time. We won’t bother recapping the first few minutes of the show, which you’ve already seen. Suffice it to say that the trash-talk between coaches Quinton Jackson and Rashad Evans comes early and often. Fighter evaluations begin, with Greg Jackson helping Rashad determine who the mentally toughest fighters are by watching them hit heavy bags. James McSweeney and Brendan Schaub are actually teammates of Evans back in Albuquerque, and Rashad wants them on his TUF squad.

Rampage’s right-hand man during the show is Tiki Ghosn, who you may have seen in Danavlogs giving/receiving surprise slaps to the balls. Rampage thinks the guys need to spar and wrestle with each other to get an accurate sense of their skills. His verdict? "Roy Nelson has a big-ass belly. We checked him out, and he’s fat." Also, he starts calling Darrill Schoonover "titties." "Let’s see whatchu got, titties," he says. "Don’t bounce like that, you’ll distract me with them titties." Come on, man, gynecomastia is no laughing matter.

Interestingly, Kimbo Slice seems to handle Roy Nelson fairly easily in their sparring sessions, though Rampage notices that Kimbo’s ground skills are sub-par. Still, his takedown defense might make up for it.

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‘UFC Fight Night: Diaz vs. Guillard’ Live Results and Commentary

Gray Maynard Roger Huerta MMA UFC
("Listen, Gray, if you promise to stay away from my face, I think I can hook you up with a role in my next project. We’re doing a movie adaptation of ‘Big Buck Hunter.’ Should be hot." Photo courtesy of this set on CombatLifestyle.)

Spoiler alert: UFC Fight Night 19 is being broadcast on tape-delay in some parts of the country, so check your local listings before continuing if you want to keep your viewing experience pure. Now then, it’s time to see if weed-strength can overcome cocaine-quickness, and how Roger Huerta’s farewell performance will be received by the toughest critics of all — Gray Maynard’s fists. Live results await you after the jump; refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and let us know how you’re feelin’ in the comments section.

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Chatting with Ben and Ben: The Fat Gina Carano

Fat Gina Carano
(Image courtesy of NBC.com)

Like our brothers-in-arms over at Holy Taco, we spend a good deal of our time throughout the day discussing stupid crap over the internet.  Only unlike them, we didn’t have the genius idea to display those discussions to the public…until now.  In today’s AIM exchange, we marvel at the discovery of a fat version of Gina Carano, and ponder what this means to the universe.  Fortunately, you get to share in the fun.  Because what kind of world would this be if everyone kept their inane conversations to themselves?  A terrible one.  That’s the answer to that question.

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Nover Suffers Seizure, Fight With Stout Scratched From Tonight’s Card

Phillipe Nover
(Get well soon, buddy.)

According to Dana White’s Twitter page, the Phillipe Nover-Sam Stout bout scheduled for tonight’s Spike TV UFC Fight Night event has been called off after Nover suffered a seizure backstage.  Nover is said to be doing fine now, and White stressed that Stout was "very cool" about the whole thing, but it’s still a hell of a blow to a couple of young fighters who no doubt worked hard to prepare for this night.  Nover was coming into this fight looking for his first official UFC win after a promising run on "The Ultimate Fighter," while Stout was trying to win two in a row for the first time in his UFC career. 

You hate to see a bout called off for reasons like this, but at least Nover’s doing okay.  Hopefully this is nothing serious and these two will get a chance to go at it later on down the road.  Feel better, Phillipe.

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What Your Favorite MMA Fighter Says About You

If there’s one thing we’ve learned during our travels through this crazy world of mixed martial arts, it’s that you are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. There are only a few different types of MMA fans, and they tend to gravitate towards certain fighters. For example, let’s say your favorite fighter is…

ANDERSON SILVA

(That’s you on the left.)
You are without a doubt the hippest dude you know.  You were the first to start wearing skinny jeans and also the first to stop, proving your bona fides as a trendsetter.  You like to think that you appreciate the finer elements of striking technique more than most MMA fans, but really you just parrot things Joe Rogan has said (“ballet of violence”) while listing off all the ways that Silva is like a modern-day Bruce Lee.  You sometimes wear glasses you don’t really need and you pretend to like jazz.  You think of yourself as a good dancer.
Your favorite fight:
Silva vs. Rich Franklin I

FEDOR EMELIANENKO

You’ve been watching MMA for years, and it’s important to you that people know that.  You have an extensive collection of ironic t-shirts and Pride DVD’s.  You work in the IT department of a moderately-sized company, where you used to feel bad for the people who pester you for help all day because, honestly, how did anyone even get that clueless?  Now you despise them and don’t go to very much trouble to hide it.  You are probably overweight, but you’re quick to tell people that it doesn’t necessarily mean you are out of shape or aren’t a good athlete.  You don’t date much but there’s this girl in Illinois who you have a thing with over the internet, which you refer to as ‘the web.’  Someone in a bar once asked you if you thought Fedor would stand a chance against Brock Lesnar.  You laughed out loud.  Okay, so they were talking to someone else and you overheard them, and when they noticed you laughing you pretended to be coughing, but still.  The ignorance of some people.
Your favorite fight: Fedor vs. Mirko Filipovic

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The Chopping Block: Who’s Staring at Unemployment If They Lose Tonight?

Phillipe Nover UFC
(Think of it this way: if they do fire you, that just opens the door for you to write that memoir about spending a year trying to survive in the wild.)

Being a UFC employee must be a lot like being in a relationship with a really hot bi-polar chick.  When things are going well, she loves you almost too much, even though you’re constantly having to beat people up because of her.  But as soon you hit a bump in the road there’s a very good chance that you’re about to be callously dumped and left poor and all alone, possibly even locked out of your own apartment. 

It used to be that you had to lose three straight before the UFC dropped you.  These days it’s not that difficult.  So with a UFC Fight Night card filled with fighters on the bubble, who’s most likely to find themselves an unwilling free agent in the morning?  Check out our predictions below, in order from most to least likely to get cut after tonight’s event:

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Tim Credeur’s Video Blog Series Is Better Than Many Actual Reality Shows

You know what I like about Tim Credeur‘s video blog series?  There are characters.  It’s not just some guy talking into a camera or wandering around having mundane, everyday experiences.  No, there’s an actual story arc.  Not that you need to watch them in any particular order, but as you watch more and more of these videos you get a sense of the wacky group of good ole boys that Credeur surrounds himself with.  There’s Chad, the deep-thinking, hard-living, almost cartoonishly Louisianan boxing coach.  There’s that one dude who holds the camera who is struggling with the age-old question of what to do when you have a pregnant girlfriend and no job.  Of course there’s also Credeur himself, who serves as the detached, bemused narrator of his friends’ lives. 

All in all, this is some quality stuff, and some decent editing for a Fight Night video blog.  Kind of makes me think that Credeur and his ragtag group of lovable rapscallions should have their own VH1 reality show.  There’s just no way that it wouldn’t be ten times better than "For The Love of Ray J." 

Check out the rest of the series after the jump.

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