Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

October, 2009

Spooky Halloween News: War Machine Is Doing Porn

Well, this new development is appropriately terrifying for Halloween.  War Machine, the fighter formally known as Jon Koppenhaver, has decided to do away with any lingering shreds of dignity that might have been clinging to him without his knowledge, and has officially become a porn star.  The video above shows him receiving his first ass waxing to make his butt camera-ready, and while it probably wasn’t necessary for him to post that to YouTube he did perform a public service by letting all the kids out there know that life as a porn star isn’t all glamour and lube.  There’s actually some unsavory elements to it.  Who knew?

He says he shot his first scene with Riley Steele and described it as "fucking awesome," before explaining that he took the gig because fighting wasn’t paying the bills and he refuses to work for a living.  It’s like I’ve always said, when life gives you lemons, make a video of you having sex with those lemons and put it on the internet.

- War Machine: "F@ck an Obama"
- War Machine Arrested in Vegas
- War Machine Apologizes for Ridiculous Behavior


Josh Neer Gets His Walking Papers

(‘You guys, I just had the craziest dream. I was in the UFC and people kept exploiting my weak takedown defense, and it was like I was powerless to stop them…’)

After suffering his second loss in a row and his third defeat in the last four outings, Josh "The Dentist" Neer has been released from the UFC, ending his third tour of duty inside the Octagon.  It’s not exactly a surprise to anyone who saw his scrap with Gleison Tibau at UFC 104 last weekend.  In a fight that never was pay-per-view quality to begin with, Neer spent three rounds getting slammed on his back and embarrassing the entire state of Iowa with his poor takedown defense before losing via unanimous decision.  At UFC 101 in August he suffered a similar fate against Kurt Pellegrino, who also outwrestled Neer en route to a plodding decision.  It’s hard enough to stay in the UFC when you’re losing exciting fights.  Getting blanked in boring ones is a sure-fire way to get out of that restrictive UFC contract you hate so much.

Neer is now 25-9-1 for his career, and 4-6 in the UFC.  Good thing he has that DDS to fall back on, maybe open his own practice somewhere in Bettendorf.  See kids, never underestimate the value of a good education.  If Neer didn’t have that right now, why, it would be a really, really depressing time for him.


Friday Link Dump

(Thanks to CP reader Alex, who just happened to be videotaping this adorable kitten for no good reason when it clued him in to the best non-porn website in the history of the internet.)

- TUF 10′s Zak "Linderman" Jensen facing wrongful death lawsuit. (Fanhouse)

- Exclusive coverage of the first MMA event held in a war zone. (Fight Magazine)

- Cecil Peoples wins facepalm of the week. (Cage Writer)

- Roy Nelson responds to Dana White’s ‘moron’ comments. (USA Today)

- Rhode Island legalizes MMA. (MMA Payout)

- Catching up with Miesha Tate. (MMA Madness)

- The power of the Fedor Sweater cannot be denied. (UG)

- Mike Massenzio to face Tim Credeur at UFN 20. (The Garv)

- Dan Hardy talks Mike Swick, Dan Hardy, and more. (Bleacher Report)

- NFL week 8 picks and predictions. (Scores Report)

- Utah teens busted for rapping at McDonald’s. (Asylum)

- To protect, but not to serve. (Ask Men)

- 25 awesome Halloween costumes. (Holy Taco)

- ‘Vaginal Hubris’ music video. (Screen Junkies)

- Wreck of the Week: car jump fail. (All Left Turns)

- The A to Z guide to Halloween hook-ups. (Made Man)

- Nothing like a fight inside a Wal-Mart. (Nothing Toxic)


KO of the Day: Russian Sambo Fighters Play For Keeps

Fighter Knocked Out by Brutal High Kick – Watch more Funny Videos

It takes about fifty seconds for this Sambo match to get started, but once it gets underway it isn’t long before someone catches the old head kick express bound straight for Concussionville.  Once there he’ll be greeted by Mayor Memory Loss and the fine gentleman from the Chamber of Commerce, Mr. Brainbleeding.  Come, let them take you on a tour of the town, from the Vertigo River to the Migraine district.  Okay, this flight of fancy has officially gone too far, but I could only stare at the computer screen trying to come up with a Yakov Smirnoff Soviet Russia joke for so long before something in me just snapped. 

The point is, they don’t play around in Sambo.  Not only do you get dropped on a hard surface after your brutal head kick KO, you wake up to the sound of polite applause while some guy holds your feet in the air.  I think I’ll stick with grappling tournaments, thanks. 


Videos: Tito Ortiz and Forrest Griffin Discuss Their UFC 106 Rematch

(Props: SNETCF)

With UFC 106 poppin’ off in three weeks, it’s time for the replacement headliners to start selling their match. In the above video, Tito Ortiz talks about going from a wrestling-based training camp for Mark Coleman to switching things up for Forrest Griffin. He says that main event status is comfortable for him, and that the pressure is on Forrest. And of course, he takes time to dump some hate onto his old nemesis Lyoto Machida for running his way to a "robbery" decision against Shogun Rua last Saturday: "Step up and be a man and fight, man. This is MMA, this is not boxing where you win by points…I’m going to look for a knockout, or I’m just gonna look to hurt [Griffin]. My job is to prevail and to make sure I entertain the fans who watch."

After the jump: A somewhat less focused interview with Forrest Griffin, in which he and Ron Frazier touch on Griffin’s refusal to wear condoms, to the great disgust of Todd Duffee.


CagePotato Halloween Costume Contest Extended Through the Weekend; Win Gear From MMA Warehouse!

Michael Jackson
(Failing: You succeed at it.)

Great news, you guys. Our favorite online MMA gear and apparel retailer MMA Warehouse has hooked us up with some gift cards to give to the winners of our Halloween Costume Contest. First place will score a $100 gift card, second place gets a $50 card, and third place is good for a $25 card. Because we’re just springing this on you now, we’re going to start the finalist voting on Monday — not today as originally announced. Anyway, this should give you a couple more days to come up with something amazing, though we should tell you we’ve already gotten a lot of Kimbos and almost as many Brocks. Not to discourage you from sending us a picture of yourself dressed up as either of those two gentlemen, but at this point you’ll really have to bring the workmanship and attention to detail if you want to stand out. Good luck, and send those photos of yourselves to by Sunday night at midnight ET.

And one last thing: We’d really like to stress that these costumes should be MMA-related in some way. That should go without saying since this is an MMA website, and since we’ve already said it twice. But it’s hard for some people to get the message. The photo above, for example, was sent to us from a dude named Margret, who really wanted us to see his Michael Jackson costume for some reason. It’s breathtaking, Margret, but shouldn’t your head be on fire?

Thanks again to MMA Warehouse! Go there now and spend lots of money!


Pat Barry Bashes His Own Ground Game, Says He Wants Stefan Struve Next

(Photo courtesy of Combat Lifestyle’s UFC 104 post-fight party set.)

If you were listening to a very special Tuesday edition of Ben vs. Ben this week, you heard Ben Goldstein suggest a heavyweight sight gag in the form of 5’11 Pat Barry taking on 6’11 Stefan Struve.  Both fighters were victorious at UFC 104, and they are the shortest and the tallest UFC heavyweights respectively.  It turns out that Barry actually thinks that’s a pretty good idea, and he’s asking for the UFC to set that one up.  In a chat with, Barry said he wants Struve next because “it would be a David and Goliath…I would like to fight him next and then work my way up to Kongo.”

Clearly this is a man who knows how to pick his style match-ups.  Struve obviously has some submissions, but he’s no takedown the artist.  The weakest part of Barry’s arsenal right now is undoubtedly his ground game.  The more fights he can get with guys willing to stand and trade with him, the more time he has to shore up his takedown defense.  In fact, there’s probably no one more critical of Barry’s ground skills than himself right now.  In a bit of self-deprecation that borders on self-loathing, Barry described his takedown defense as “very suspicious” and said that one thing he’s shown in his three UFC fights thus far is that he’s “very suspect on the ground.”

Not that we’d disagree with that assessment, but damn.  How about a little optimism, Pat?  You don’t hear Bob Sapp running around and talking about how he has the cardio of an eighty-year-old emphysema patient.


Jake Shields and “Mayhem” Miller Starting to Turn Up the Heat For Strikeforce Title Fight

Remember when "Mayhem" Miller and Jake Shields vowed to hype the hell out of their Strikeforce title fight to make sure fans tuned in to CBS on November 7?  Yeah, well, that hasn’t really happened.  They exchanged some barbs over Miller’s stated goal to "beat the piss" out of Shields, but since the fight’s been signed the trash talk has really stayed at a simmer.  We can only assume that Shields’ recent Twitter post is an attempt to kick things up a notch.  It simply can’t be a legitimate possibility that Shields would replace Miller as "Bully Beatdown" host, because no MTV executive not currently trying to bring the company down from the inside would trade Miller’s lower-primate-on-crack persona for Shields’ stoic hard-ass routine.  Don’t get us wrong, Shields is great as a bully-beater, but the only thing that guy could host is a tapeworm.  Dude just doesn’t have the panache.

According to oddsmakers, however, he does have the better chance to bring home the belt.  Shields is currently going off at about a 3-1 favorite, with Miller at +220.  Whaddaya say, anyone in the Potato Nation have the grapefruits to take a chance on an underdog with a severe chemical imbalance


Thiago Alves Out of UFC 107 With Knee Injury

Thiago Alves GSP MMA UFC
(It’s particularly disappointing because Thiago’s face had just returned to normal.)

When it rains, it goddamned pours. The latest big-name UFC fighter to be scratched from an end-of-year card is Thiago Alves, who just went down with a knee injury — most likely a torn posterior cruciate ligament, if you want to get specific. Alves was scheduled to rematch Jon Fitch at UFC 107, and was coming in as a replacement for Ricardo Almeida, who suffered his own knee injury last week. No word yet on how long this will keep Alves sidelined, or if Fitch will be getting a replacement-replacement opponent for the December 12th show in Memphis. Matt Hughes, if there was ever a time to shut AKA’s collective mouth, it’s now. As it stands, UFC 107′s lineup looks like this:


It’s Like Kimbo Is Trying to Tell Us Something…

Kimbo Slice MMA UFC

When we asked Dana White if there was any truth to the rumors that Kimbo Slice‘s first post-TUF fight would be against Houston Alexander, he expertly dodged the question. (This is why he gets the paid the big bucks, and why we have to moonlight as night managers at Family Dollar in order to make rent.) But a couple of tweets Kimbo posted yesterday seem to support the theory that Slice will soon be thrown into the Octagon with another ground-game-challenged puncher. The "I Accept" line suggests that he won’t be fighting a fellow castmember at the TUF 10 finale. (Does he not get another chance to bang on the show after all? Does he lose again?) And yeah, the whole "HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM!" thing is pretty much a dead-giveaway. 

Alexander, who recently broke his three-fight losing streak with a first-round TKO over Sherman Pendergarst at Adrenaline 4, is reportedly applying for a fighter license with the Nevada State Athletic Commission, so all signs are pointing to "oh God, this is actually happening." Could it be the Kimbo Slice slobberknocker that we’ve all been waiting for?