(‘Best eva!’ just doesn’t have the same ring of authority when you say it through a bunch of gauze.)

Dana White posted this picture of a battered Phil Baroni to his Twitter account today, remarking "Phil baroni sent me this today and said ‘welcome back to the ufc’ phil is tough as nails!"  True, but he might also be a tough-as-nails fighter who’s worried about losing his job, hence the subtle reminder that he endured this beatdown for the UFC’s benefit, while only pocketing $25,000 for his trouble. 

If you needed a reminder that fighting other people in a cage was a tough way to make a living, this ought to do it.  Baroni has been in the sport for nearly a decade, and, after taxes, training costs, and management, he comes away with not even enough money to buy a new Toyota Camry.  That’s ironic considering that he now looks like someone who’s been in a pretty bad car accident.  Let’s hope his sponsors came through for him.  Let’s also hope that he’s been putting some of that money away for his retirement, which might be right around the corner.

("Hey. My eyes are up here.")

The Ultimate Fighter‘s Darrill Schoonover isn’t just a promising heavyweight with a minor drinking problem and disturbing tattoos; he’s also a U.S. Army veteran who spent four years serving our country. Schoonover will make his official UFC debut at the TUF 10 finale on December 5th, but his long-term career plans just became a little more uncertain. As he explained on Shambala Sports Radio:

Damn, dude. Can’t Dana pull some strings? It would be just his luck that Darrill wins the contract, then has to take off to hunt Bin Laden’s homeboys — a perfect end to a season where the coaches don’t even fight. Schoonover will be deployed for 400 days, and hopes to lose enough weight so that he can compete at light-heavyweight in the future. But no matter who he faces next month at the TUF 10 finale, he’ll be in good company…

(If you ask us, that’s worth 50 grand right there. Photo courtesy of the Toronto Sun via Fightlinker.)

We’ve already passed along the headliners’ payouts from UFC 106, but now the complete salary list has been released by the Nevada State Athletic Commission, so we figured hey, why not share them with you people? The UFC paid out $1,301,000 in disclosed salaries and bonuses, with 57% of that total going to Forrest Griffin, Tito Ortiz, and Josh Koscheck. Check out the pay scale below, and keep in mind that the figures don’t include income from sponsorships, undisclosed "locker-room bonuses," and cuts of the pay-per-view, or deductions for taxes, insurance, licensing fees, and tanning salon memberships.

– Forrest Griffin: $250,000 (includes $150,000 win bonus)

– Tito Ortiz: $250,000

– Josh Koscheck: $246,000 (includes $53,000 win bonus, $70,000 Fight of the Night bonus, $70,000 Submission of the Night bonus)

– Antonio Rogerio Nogueira: $170,000 (includes $30,000 win bonus, $70,000 Knockout of the Night bonus)

(Though they were locked in a tender embrace, Forrest couldn’t fight the feeling that they were slowly drifting apart. Photo courtesy of SI.com)

The data has been crunched and the numbers are in. See who’s up and who’s down after UFC 106 with another edition of the Potato Index.

Forrest Griffin +73
Is there anyone who needed a win more than FoGriff? No robbery here, he took over in the later rounds and earned that decision. He continues to be the 205-pound division’s workman fighter, even if he’s still quite a ways from being in the title hunt again.

Tito Ortiz -82
As usual, Ortiz follows up a loss with a lot of complaining and a litany of injury-related excuses. Some things never change. Still, in a strange way it’s kind of nice to have our old villain back again.

So there I am at the Hawaiian Tropic Zone after UFC 106, relaxing, enjoying some adult beverages, when the Raw Vegas producer comes up to me and asks if I’ll interview UFC Octagon girls Natasha Wicks and Logan Stanton.  Because I’m a sucker, I said yes.  Some interesting things I learned:

- The consensus opinion among the Octagon girls is that Josh Koscheck is a total faker.  This does not seem to have endeared him to them.

- All three of the girls aren’t necessarily the best of friends.  Logan wouldn’t say who the outsider is, but let’s just say that all of the girls were supposed to be at this party and only two came.

- You don’t appreciate what Dave Farra does until you have to try and do it yourself.  Then you just hate him even more.

(Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

In the 17 months that Josh Thomson has been Strikeforce’s lightweight champion, he has defended his title exactly zero times. His only fight since grabbing the belt from Gilbert Melendez in June 2008 was a non-title squash match against Ashe Bowman last September, and he hasn’t been able to compete at all this year due to a series of leg injuries. And even though a planned rematch with now-interim-champ Melendez has been canceled three times already, Strikeforce is rolling the dice again. According to GracieFighter, Thomson vs. Melendez II will go down at "Evolution," Strikeforce’s December 19th show at the HP Pavilion in San Jose.

Despite being constantly jerked around by Thomson’s withdrawals, Melendez has been able to fight twice since last June, scoring stoppage victories over Rodrigo Damm and Mitsuhiro Ishida. The Ishida fight at Carano vs. Cyborg avenged Melendez’s first career loss; beating Thomson would clean his slate completely. With Thomson coming off a year-and-a-half of injuries and inactivity, you have to like El Niño’s chances. The current lineup for Strikeforce: Evolution looks like this…

(Massive props: GYVIDEOS, The Killers)

Cro Cop‘s head kicks. The Gracie Train. The double-knockout. The Randleplex. The flying inverse triangle choke. Severn‘s suplexes. Inoki’s slaps. Coleman‘s daughters. The entrance. The face-off. The blood. The towel. The destroyed limbs. The shaving gel endorsement. The agony and the ecstasy. The subtitle of this film is "MMA Is Just a Sport." We know better than that. Two more GY PRODUCTION films are after the jump. Happy Monday.

(Tito Ortiz complains about not getting UFC 106‘s Fight of the Night bonus, and disputes the scoring of his match against Forrest Griffin. Koscheck’s expression at 2:34-2:36 pretty much sums it up. Props: Cagewriter)

— Though Josh Koscheck and Dana White have reportedly butted heads in the past, it’s clear that Kos is back on DW’s good side. For his second-round submission of Anthony Johnson at UFC 106 last night, Koscheck picked up both the $70,000 Submission of the Night bonus, and a $70,000 Fight of the Night bonus (which Johnson also received). As Dana White explained, "I have to publicly say that [Koscheck] always steps up, always wants to fight, fights the best in the world, and I’m blown away with his performance tonight." Still, is that enough justification to reward the chaotic mess that Koscheck vs. Johnson turned out to be?

Koscheck’s $140,000 bonus take adds to the $106,000 in show/win money he earned from the fight, meaning he came up just short of headliners Ortiz and Griffin, who were paid $250,000 in disclosed salary. UFC 106′s Knockout of the Night bonus went to Antonio Rogerio Nogueira, who needed just under two minutes to run over Luis Cane.

(Bruce Buffer is fairly confident that Griffin will outstrike Ortiz to a unanimous decision. Joe Rogan is peaking on a DMT trip and is desperately trying to keep his shit together as Tito’s head explodes into a screaming ball of golden phosphorescence. / Photo courtesy of the UFC 106: Weigh In Pics set on CombatLifestyle.com.)

After an ancient curse claimed Brock Lesnar, Mark Coleman, Ricardo Almeida, and Karo Parisyan — and even threatened the velvet voice of Mike Goldberg — we’ve finally arrived at tonight’s bedraggled UFC event, which will be headlined by a do-over between Tito Ortiz and Forrest Griffin. Guiding us through the action this evening is special guest liveblogger Chad Dundas; please make him feel welcome. Round-by-round results from the UFC 106 pay-per-view broadcast are after the jump, beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and say a little prayer that Josh Koscheck doesn’t accidentally gouge his eye out in the locker room while putting on his cup.

Strikeforce Challengers went down in Kansas City last night, and as you can see from the video above, it was not a good night for Kim Couture.  Despite some early success against Kerry Vera, "Sugar Free" got rocked against the cage midway through the first and that was all the opening Vera needed to finish the fight.  The loss drops Couture to 1-2 as a pro, with her only win coming against hapless bystander Lina Kvokov after getting her jaw wrecked by Kim Rose.  Kind of makes you think that maybe taking an interest in your husband’s hobbies is nice, but isn’t enough to base a pro fighting career on. 

In other action, Kevin Casey, the fighter who starred alongside Spencer Pratt in the worst rap video of all time, defeated Chad Vance via submission in the first round.  In the main event, Tyron Woodley remained undefeated with a first-round submission of Rudy Bears.  Full results, and a photo that will make your blood run cold, are after the jump.

(Fabricio Camoes preps for UFC debut. Via The Garv)

– All fighters make weight for UFC 106. (MMA Fanhouse)

– 50 greatest MMA dominations. (Complex)

– Forrest Griffin reflects on his potty mouth. (Cagewriter)

– Dana White weighs in on Karo Parisyan, Shane McMahon and more. (Sherdog)

– Pacquiao-Cotto did 1.25 million pay-per-view buys. (MMA Payout)

– Marcus Davis isn’t done hating on Dan Hardy. (MMA Scraps)

– Matt Serra confirms Frank Trigg fight on for UFC 109. (Fight Network)

– Matt Mitrione says he’s not even watching TUF anymore. (Fight Magazine)

– Karo Parisyan needs our support, not our disgust. (Bleacher Report)

– Rumble Round Table: UFC 106. (The Rumble)

- Manny Pacquiao would really like to fight Floyd Mayweather. (Scores Report)

- Mother Nature’s Punch-Out. (Asylum)

- Why do hipsters love Jim Jarmusch movies? (Ask Men)

- 25 runway models falling down. (Holy Taco)

- Wreck of the Week: Nascar with friends. (All Left Turns)

- How to make the perfect Turducken. (Made Man)

- Awesome Star Wars cakes. (Screen Junkies)

- Soccer player takes an excruciating shot to the pills. (Nothing Toxic)

You know how some people have this magnetic quality to them that makes you want to like them, no matter what they might be saying or doing?  Guys like Jack Nicholson, or that Australian kid who threw the crazy party and refused to take off his sunglasses.  Even when they behave poorly, there’s still something about them that makes it impossible not to be on their side.  Josh Koscheck is the complete opposite of that, and he displays it perfectly in this video interview with Fight Magazine.  Here he talks ever so smugly about how Anthony Johnson doesn’t want to fight him, how he’d love to take 20% of his purse and then beat him up anyway, and how he fully intends to punish "Rumble" like the UFC wants him to.  It’s the high school bully act, and Koscheck fits into the role so easily it’s like he was born to do it.

As a contrast, Johnson couldn’t find anything bad to say about Koscheck at all.  In fact, he called Koscheck an "entertaining" fighter and said he was "really respectable as a human being."  He said those things before this video of Koscheck smirking into the camera was posted to the internet.  Hopefully someone shows it to him before the fight tomorrow night.  He should at least go into it with a clear idea of the level of jerkitude that he’s dealing with.

(Photo courtesy of ajc.com. Tie courtesy of Elton John.)

Heisman Trophy winner, two-time NFL Pro Bowl selection, Olympic bobsledder, Dissociative Identity Disorder sufferer, Celebrity Apprentice contestant, Tae Kwon Do black belt, and American Kickboxing Academy student Herschel Walker will make his MMA debut on January 30th at a Strikeforce event to be held at the BankAtlantic Center in Sunrise, Florida. The news was announced yesterday via press release, though Walker’s opponent has yet to be named. The only other match tied to the card at this point is Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos‘s 145-pound title defense against Marloes Coenen.

As Dana White pondered when Walker’s Strikeforce signing was first announced: "Which athletic commission is going to let this guy fight? Who the fuck are they going to find to fight Herschel Walker? A guy in a wheelchair?” We now know the answer to the first question is "Florida," the state that previously signed off on Kimbo Slice vs. Ken Shamrock at the same venue last October. As for Dana’s other hypotheticals, we hope that Herschel Walker’s opponent has some kind of disability, considering that Walker has only been training in MMA since last month, and it wouldn’t really be fair to make him fight a guy who has both fighting experience and the use of all of his limbs. I mean, if Strikeforce really wants to put Walker against Fedor Emelianenko in the spring, they’d better give him a beatable first opponent.

(Props: Heavy.com)

We’re just one day away from the return of UFC legend/unbearable heel Tito Ortiz at UFC 106, and the former light-heavyweight champ promises to go out guns blazin’ against Forrest Griffin: "I gotta put on a show, I gotta win, I gotta stop him, I gotta do what I need to do in my game to make Forrest quit." Though Ortiz claims to have improved his striking for this fight, he also won’t be giving up his bread and butter. "Every time he kicks he’s gonna be taken down. A lot of fighters don’t take advantage of that when they see Forrest kick, they try to check all the kicks. The hell with that. I’m putting him on his back. Back to the old Tito Ortiz, man, my ground and pound where it’s lethal…they’ll be carrying him out on a stretcher."

Later, Ortiz says that he doesn’t have a problem with the way that the UFC has used his name to build the careers of Griffin and Lyoto Machida, and regarding the rash of injuries and illnesses in the UFC as of late, he’d fight Forrest with a broken leg (which he clarifies he doesn’t have, but still). The only thing that matters to him right now is becoming a world champion again, one match at a time. And if that gets in the way of roles in Mark Wahlberg flicks, so be it.

And yes, he’s wearing the shades again. There’s a reason for that…

According to Brock Lesnar‘s jiu-jitsu coach, Rodrigo "Comprido" Medeiros, the big man is healing up after his surgery and will "be fighting again within six months."  That means Lesnar-Carwin could take place this spring, and there will be no need for an interim title or any other such nonsense.  Great, right?  Only maybe we should consider the possibility, however minor, that "Comprido" is substituting blind optimism for medical knowledge.

If we can believe what Dana White says, Lesnar had a hole in his intestine that was leaking stuff into his stomach.  I’m no more a doctor than I am a jiu-jitsu world champion, but that sounds like the kind of thing that could sideline a man for a little while.  Even if the surgery was completely successful in repairing the problems, Lesnar will probably need to rest for a little while before returning to the kind of intense training that might prepare him for a title defense. 

In other words, let’s take this six month promise with a grain of salt.  While it’s believable that Lesnar may heal much faster than your average mortal, it’s also possible that he might need more time to put this behind him and get in shape to defend a heavyweight championship.  Especially after what those Canadian doctors did to him. 

(Photo by Esther Lin, for Strikeforce.)

Kerry Vera and Kim Couture are set to go at it tonight in the Strikeforce Challengers event in Kansas City.  Since they both share the names of famous UFC fighters who just faced one another, it probably seemed like a genius idea to Strikeforce.  But "Sugar Free" is a Couture in the same way that Ivana is a Trump.  When a name helps that much you hang on to it, even if you didn’t hang on to the husband. 

So what do you think, is your interest in this bout harmed by the somewhat disappointing display put on by their male counterparts at UFC 105?  Or does Kim’s shiny weigh-in bikini erase all those memories from your mind?  Not trying to juge or anything, but when these girls show up wearing more than you…

(Melanson and Parisyan, before it all fell apart. Props: elitefts.com)

In a new interview with Five Ounces of Pain, Karo Parisyan’s longtime friend and training partner Neil Melanson confirmed that Parisyan’s latest last-minute fight-cancellation was directly related to the painkiller addiction that has haunted him for years. After Melanson got permission from Karo to go public with the story, he laid it all out:

("God damn you, Jose, don’t you ever leave me again!" Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

The WEC doled out a meager $276,500 in official salaries and bonuses for their "Brown vs. Aldo" event on Wednesday night, proving once again that short people are paid far less than their taller counterparts. Mike Brown earned just $15,000 for his failed title defense, and only five fighters broke the $20,000 mark. The numbers are below. Keep in mind that they don’t include income from sponsorships and "locker room bonuses" — which in the WEC probably amount to a No Fear energy drink and cab fare back to the hotel — or deductions for taxes, insurance, licensing fees, athletic commission fines, and alimony.

Jose Aldo: $36,000 (includes $13,000 win bonus, $10,000 Knockout of the Night bonus)
Mike Brown: $15,000

Manny Gamburyan: $36,000 (includes $18,000 win bonus)
Leonard Garcia: $14,000

Karen Darabedyan: $6,000 (includes $3,000 win bonus)
Rob McCullough: $20,000

(Paulo Thiago commits a major Brazilian faux pas by wearing red after Carnival.)

It’s like that old saying, God never closes a door without opening a window so someone else can sneak inside and steal all your jewelry.  In the case of the UFC 106 main card, Karo Parisyan seems to have closed that door all by himself, and now the window is wide open for Paulo Thiago and Jacob Volkmann, whose fight has just been bumped to the televised portion of the pay-per-view. 

As you’ll no doubt recall, Thiago was originally supposed to face Thiago Alves in the most confusing match-up of names since Gegard Mousasi fought Musashi, but after some reshuffling he ended up getting the Octagon rookie Volkmann.  Just yesterday they were still relegated to the dark portion of this card, but as things continued to fall apart around UFC 106 the outlook got brighter.  Now the entire paying world will get to see them square off, with the pay-per-view broadcast currently looking like this:

In this video with Cagewriter’s Steve Cofield, Keith Kizer goes into slightly more detail about the Karo Parisyan situation, making it sound more and more like Parisyan was doing the old Matt Mitrione, trying to get out of this fight any way he could.  Granted this is only one side of the story we’re hearing here, but it sure sounds like the Nevada State Athletic Commission was beyond reasonable about this whole thing.  Allowing him to pay the fine out of his next purse is akin to letting him work off the debt, which is more than Blockbuster is willing to do.

The most interesting moment here may be when Cofield asks Kizer whether it’s usually an issue getting fighters to pay their fines.  I guess I always assumed that the NSAC made you write a check right after handing down their verdict, and if you didn’t have it in your bank account anymore by then they made you, I don’t know, wash dishes at a local restaurant or something. 

But Kizer says the NSAC is still waiting to get paid by Pawel Nastula, who popped positive for several different banned substances after his loss to Josh Barnett at Pride 32 in Las Vegas back in 2006.  In all fairness, Nastula was accustomed to a different culture with regards to performing-enhancing substances, so it’s kind of impressive that he was only on one steroid and three different stimulants.  In Pride, that assortment used to be known as a light breakfast.

(Props: twitter.com/danawhite)

Look, everybody knows that Karo Parisyan is a very troubled young man. But we’re still shocked by the now-emerging news that Parisyan has pulled out of a fight at the last minute for the second time in his UFC career, directly following his nine-month suspension for the use of unapproved meds. Judging from his tweets, it’s obvious that UFC prez Dana White has had enough of Karo’s bullshit, and we may never see the Heat inside of the Octagon ever again. As for Parisyan’s "laundry list of excuses" for canceling his UFC 106 meeting with Dustin Hazelett, MMA Weekly presents one explanation:

However, Nevada State Athletic Commission Executive Director Keith Kizer’s side of the story is quite a bit different. As he told Sherdog:

(Antonio Rogerio Nogueira vs. Dan Henderson, 4/23/05)

Of the 22 fighters testing their fates on Saturday night, three of them will be stepping into the Octagon for the first time — but don’t expect these guys to crack under the pressure. Read on to meet the MMA veterans and submission experts who will be trying to make dominant first impressions at "Ortiz vs. Griffin II"…

ANTONIO ROGERIO NOGUEIRA (LHW)
Experience: 17-3 record, with notable victories over Dan Henderson, Alistair Overeem (twice), Kazushi Sakuraba, and Vladimir Matyushenko (in January, which avenged his first career loss). Has won his last five fights, most recently submitting Dion Staring via triangle choke in May.
Will be facing: Luis Cane (10-1 with 1 no-contest, 3-1 UFC)
Lowdown: Whether you know him better as "Minotoro" or "Lil’ Nog," there’s a good chance you’re already aware of Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira’s twin brother. The 33-year-old veteran of PRIDE, Affliction, and Sengoku has had a decorated career dating back to March 2001, and is considered by many to be one of the ten best light-heavyweights in the world right now. Though Antonio Rogerio comes from a BJJ background like his bro (who he trains with at Black House), four of his last six wins have come via TKO, and he won a bronze medal in boxing at the 2007 Pan American Games. Minotoro hasn’t lost a fight since his shock-upset KO defeat against Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou at PRIDE 33, nearly three years ago. Says Rogerio of his UFC debut: “For more than three years, UFC was my goal and now I’m just very happy to be here in the best event. The UFC has the best talent in the world, and I feel like now I’m going to be challenged like I’ve never been challenged before in my career…The fans can expect to see a very well-trained and well-prepared athlete who’s very focused and determined to win."

(Some glib video analysis of your UFC 106 betting options alongside Cagewriter‘s Steve Cofield and RawVegas.tv‘s Dave Farra.)

My father has a saying about betting on MMA fights: ‘I’m not loaning you any money, and if you so much as touch that spare change jar I’ll beat you with a shovel while you’re sleeping.’  I have no idea how that was supposed to help guide me, or for that matter, any of you, when it comes to deciding who to bet on at UFC 106 this Saturday night, but I can tell you with 100% certainty that he meant it when he said it.

The odds we’ll be using today come from BestFightOdds.com.

Forrest Griffin (-135) vs. Tito Ortiz (+130)
Josh Koscheck (+109) vs. Anthony Johnson (-115)
Amir Sadollah (-185) vs. Phil Baroni (+186)
Antonio Rogerio Nogueira (-143) vs. Luis Cane (+150)
Karo Parisyan (-105) vs. Dustin Hazelett (-105)
Marcus Davis (-205) vs. Ben Saunders (+190)
Jake Rosholt (-169) vs. Kendall Grove (+165)
Paulo Thiago (-260) vs. Jacob Volkmann (+250)
Brock Larson (-465) vs. Brian Foster (+400)
Caol Uno (-285) vs. Fabricio Camoes (+235)
George Sotiropoulos (-455) vs. Jason Dent (+355)

The breakdown…

(Enjoy your victory now, Shane Roller, for it appears that you’re about to be brought back to Tatooine to answer for your unpaid intergalactic debts. Props: WKR)

Those of you watching last night’s Shane Roller-Danny Castillo fight at WEC 44 may have found yourselves wondering, Who is the guy in the Boba Fett get-up, and when’s the last time he got laid?  Face it, except for the morning after Halloween, one sentence that no woman has ever proudly uttered to her girlfriends is, ‘I totally went home with that guy at the party last night whose face was covered by his "Star Wars" outfit.’  At least, no height-weight proportional woman ever has, unless that sentence is followed by, ‘Will you give me a ride to rehab?’

Word has it that the nerd in question here is jiu-jitsu coach Marc Laimon, who appears to be wearing this zip-up Fett hoodie from designer/MMA fan Marc Ecko.  It retails for $98, making it slightly cheaper than the Storm Trooper jacket and X-Wing Pilot hoodie, for reasons that are known only to Ecko.  We just hope that they come out with an Ewok hoodie by the next time Urijah Faber has to corner one of his buddies at a WEC event.  If anybody could make it seem almost cool, it’s that chronically laid-back son of a bitch.

(Schaub vs. Madsen stoppage, via bothmiddlefingers)

Matt Mitrione is still bitching about his alleged brain damage. He says a doctor’s visit revealed that he has some minor swelling in the brain, which turned into a migraine. As a result, he’s a little slow and it’s taking a little longer for him to say things. Trevor Wittman calls horseshit — swelling of the brain is life-threatening, and the doctor wouldn’t just send him back to the house. Coach Rashad still can’t get a clear read on if Mitrione really wants to continue fighting; he has to want it for himself more than his coaches want it for him. James McSweeney — who’s scheduled to fight Mitrione in the third quarterfinal match — feels that Mitrione is just playing games, and in his book, Meathead just went from "rat" to "two faced little bitch without a heart."

While rolling with Demico Rogers, Kimbo Slice tweaks his knee. He’d obviously be the first fighter to return if Mitrione has to withdraw from the competition, but Coach Rampage is worried that McSweeney would focus on the bum joint with kicks. (In Kimbo’s charming personal dialect, McSweeney is a "tree chopper.") Later, a doctor tells Kimbo that he’s missing some cartilage, but Kimbo won’t get a cortisone shot because big needles freak him out. He suffers through an ice bath outside the TUF house, while his housemates laugh at his agony.

(Aldo vs. Brown. Props: MMA Linker. If the video doesn’t load for you, click here.)

Last night at WEC 44 in Las Vegas, Jose "Junior" Aldo went from exciting prospect to King of the Featherweight Mountain. The 23-year-old Nova Uniao standout picked up his sixth-straight TKO victory in the WEC — as well as his first major title — by shutting down incumbent champion Mike Brown‘s advantages in strength and wrestling while unleashing his own fearsome finishing ability as soon as the opportunity presented itself.

The first round of their main event battle saw both men trade heavy strikes, with Aldo impressively defending Brown’s takedown efforts. Aldo found his moment early in the second frame, rattling the champ with a flying knee and punches, then shoving his off-balance opponent to the canvas when Brown came in with a left hook. Aldo quickly transitioned to back-mount on the ground, and began firing punches to the side of Brown’s head. Brown tried to roll out of danger, but found himself caught in a mousetrap-like body lock that kept him pinned on his stomach. Eventually he turtled, and "Worst Referee in the History of Fighting" Steve Mazzagatti had to step in and do his job.

(I think we all know what the young male audience was tuning in to see: Randy Couture’s brilliant and intoxicating smile. Props: MMA TKO)

Spike TV is a lot like those jerks who you play in a fantasy football league with.  There’s always one sure way to know when they did better than you, and it’s by checking your email inbox.  Spike sent out another email today touting the triumph of UFC 105 over Strikeforce on CBS, at least among a few key demographics.  According to Spike, UFC 105 drew an average of 2.9 million viewers on Saturday, which is considerably less than the 4.04 million that Strikeforce averaged.  UFC 105 peaked with 3.7 million viewers during the main event, whereas Strikeforce had 5.46 million watching Brett Rogers get his head knocked off. 

But just because they technically lost the overall ratings battle to a network TV event (which is expected), doesn’t mean they can’t hype their own numbers in the young male demographic that the UFC and Spike TV collectively own.  Just check out this handy breakdown they provided:

(Enjoy your long winter breaks, boys.  Try to lay off the Christmas chocolates.)

According to Dan Wetzel of Yahoo! Sports, the UFC is spreading the word that May 1 will bring the much-anticipated and very necessary rematch between UFC light heavyweight champ Lyoto Machida and Mauricio "Shogun" Rua in Montreal.  That also happens to be May Day, so maybe Machida and Rua will celebrate by leading their fellow UFC workers in a bloody revolution against the bourgeoisie oppressors in the Zuffa front office.  More likely though, they’ll just fight each other for a whole lot of money in front of a packed audience of Quebecois.  

Sure, May is kind of a long time to wait for this rematch, and by then we may have forgotten how heated we were about the controversy surrounding the decision, but after going five hard rounds these guys need some time off before they begin another training camp.  Plus, if the UFC waits long enough, maybe the light heavyweight division will sort itself out and an obvious challenger will appear.  Or maybe by then "Rampage" Jackson will be filming an "A-Team" sequel, Rashad Evans will have joined the cast of "The Real World," and Tito Ortiz will be directing porn movies under the name Rod Poundington.  The way the UFC’s luck has been lately, it’s not really that far-fetched. 

WEC 44 is just a few hours from now, and as we already told you once, the Mike Brown-Jose Aldo title fight promises to be a war that you do not want to miss.  Ever since Brown shocked the world against Urijah Faber, we’ve all had our chance to see what kind of tools that particular contractor is using to build his foundation, but what about Aldo?  You may not be completely familiar with the 23-year-old Brazilian, but the good news is that it won’t take you long to get caught up.  In his last three WEC fights, he’s spent a grand total of 6:02 in the cage, winning all three via TKO.  Add in introductions and a couple of rewinds to fully appreciate his explosive finishes, and you can see it all in around seven minutes. 

Take the time to enjoy the man’s body of work, won’t you?  He’d do the same for you, or at least he would if you did anything aside from reading the internet and playing those damn video games.

Aldo vs. Mickle, and a very low-fi version of Aldo vs. Perez are both after the jump.

(He feared no man.  Canadian doctors?  Well, that’s a different story. Photo courtesy of Fight Magazine)

Free health care might work just fine for most Canadians.  If Georges St. Pierre discovers a bizarre rash after his post-fight debauchery or Alanis Morissette decides to pop out a kid, it’s no problem.  But their system of caring for the sick and injured without driving them into bankruptcy just isn’t up to dealing with the big problems of a big man, particularly not when that big man is as much of a red-blooded American as Brock Lesnar.  According to what Lesnar’s chiropractor, Larry Novotny, told a local news affiliate in Alexandria, Minn., Lesnar’s current health problems really started heading downhill while vacationing in Canada, the land of free medicine and wonderfully polite death panels.  I think you know who he’s going to blame.

Said Novotny: "His symptoms became severe while in Canada, which because of their health care system, made it difficult to manage.  At this point it’s a possibility that it could jeopardize his career." 

Okay, Novotny.  Fair enough.  But you’re forgetting to mention that it didn’t cost him a penny.  Still a good deal for the money, no?