(Just relax, breathe deeply, and picture everyone in their underwear.)

It’s been a tough couple of years for Karo Parisyan.  The Armenian-born judoka who once famously declared himself “too talented to train,” has been sidelined for the last nine months due to a suspension resulting from his use of painkillers prior to his split decision win (subsequently changed to a no contest) against Dong Hyun Kim at UFC 94.  Before that, he pulled out of UFC 88 the night before the weigh-ins with a back injury aggravated by panic attacks, and that was after his TKO loss to Thiago Alves.  What I’m saying here is, the man’s been going through some trials and tribulations.

Now he returns at UFC 106 to take on submission specialist/supernerd Dustin Hazelett and the question remains, what’s the deal with Karo?  Is he still a UFC caliber fighter, or just a guy with an inflated sense of self who might fly off the handle and demand to know whether you’re aware of who he is?  According to what Parisyan told UFC.com, he realizes that he hasn’t been about much lately, and that’s because his most difficult struggle is just being trapped inside his own head:

“I’m not making any excuses for my last few fights, but anxiety played a huge role in me not being properly prepared. Anxiety takes over your life. I have it under control now, but imagine having anxiety all night and not being able to sleep because you’re worrying about every little thing. How are you going to be able to train and fight when you’re dealing with something like that?”

It’s the week of UFC 106, but coming off a trip across the pond for last weekend’s show, Dana White doesn’t feel like he has enough material for a new video blog.  Fortunately for him, his personal videographer never uploaded the fight night footage from UFC 104 in Los Angeles, so why not just put that on the internet and call it good?  Things are going smoothly at first.  DW presses the flesh with some celebrities, talks to some fighters in the locker rooms, passes by ace interviewer and hopelessly unfashionable friend of the Potato Ariel Helwani (is that a flannel shirt? is it 1994?) at the 5:15 mark.  But when he watches refereee Steve Mazzagatti’s oddly-timed stoppage in the Cain Velasquez-Ben Rothwell fight, that’s when White loses his cool just a bit.

"Mazzagatti will fuck up any fight," White says directly into the camera.  "The worst referee in the history of fighting.  Period.  I don’t care if there was a fight back in the old days, okay, the Stone Age.  Mazzagatti is the worst referee ever.  The guy has no business watching mixed martial arts, let alone refereeing it."

White then visited both Velasquez and Rothwell to make sure they both knew what a terrible referee Mazzagatti was, and after that he presumably called Mazzagatti’s children to let them know that their father is a failure.  That part must have been edited out.

(Whaddya say, old-timer? One last job, for all the Lipitor?)

According to Sherdog, UFC hall-of-famers Randy Couture and Mark Coleman have verbally agreed to a light-heavyweight headlining match at UFC 109 (February 6th, Las Vegas). Combined age for the fight: 90. At 46 years and five months old at the time of his decision win over Brandon Vera last weekend, Couture is the oldest person to score a victory in the UFC. (If only Ron van Clief had pulled off the upset.) Coleman, who made his Octagon debut at UFC 10 in July 1996, has had the longest career of any fighter currently under contract with Zuffa.

The pairing tells us two things. First, that the UFC realizes a razor-thin decision over Brandon Vera isn’t enough to throw Couture directly into a 205-pound title fight; he’ll need at least one more win over somebody he can beat, preferably by stoppage. And second, that the UFC is absolutely desperate for headlining bouts. Couture vs. Coleman may turn out to be a #1 light-heavyweight contender’s match, but it certainly doesn’t deserve to be. Unfortunately, there are no bigger fights available to main-event the card. Though a middleweight title match between Anderson Silva and Vitor Belfort was previously expected to headline UFC 109, Belfort says he may be fighting someone else at the February show.

Fun fact: In 1989, Couture and Coleman met in a freestyle wrestling match at the 1989 Olympic Festival at Oklahoma State; Coleman won by one point. So you can expect the UFC to start referring to this fight as a "MAIN EVENT GRUDGE MATCH."

(Genghis Con says, get hyped for Brown vs. Aldo.  That’s an order, soldier.)

With so much going on this week, you might be forgiven for completely forgetting about Wednesday night’s WEC event.  At least, you might be forgiven by most people.  Myself, I’m the type to hold a grudge.  I’m also the type to act on that grudge by stabbing you with a broken bottle of Mad Dog while screaming incoherently.  But that’s me.  I’m old fashioned.  Let’s bet on some fights, shall we?

Betting odds come to us courtesy of BestFightOdds.com.

Mike Brown (-113) vs. Jose Aldo (+102)
Manny Gamburyan (+105) vs. Leonard Garcia (-105)
Rob McCullough (-145) vs. Karen Darabedyan (+145)
Danny Castillo (-135) vs. Shane Roller (+115)
Kamal Shalorus (-160) vs. Will Kerr (+145)
Diego Nunes (-160) vs. LC Davis (+145)
Cub Swanson (-270) vs. John Franchi (+260)
Antonio Banuelos (-200) vs. Kenji Osawa (+190)
Ricardo Lamas (-225) vs. James Krause (+215)
Seth Dikun (+150) vs. Frank Gomez (-155)

The breakdown…

And so the Brock Lesnar illness saga continues.  According to Dana White’s Twitter, the UFC heavyweight champ is out of "minor surgery" and beginning to feel better.  Since the surgery was presumably designed to help deal with a bacterial infection in his intestinal tract, it’s hard to imagine that there could anything too minor about it.   Where I come from, wisdom tooth extraction = minor, anything having to do with intestines = major.

At least the surgery sounds like it went well and now White can finally get out of Bismarck.  Meanwhile, every other fighter in the UFC is forced to ask himself, what would it take for Dana to come visit me in a place like North Dakota?  The answer, of course, depends on who you are.  Georges St. Pierre?  Probably wouldn’t take much more than a mild heart attack.  Tito Ortiz?  There’d better be some exposed brain matter involved.  Kendall Grove?  Unless aliens show up and declare him their emperor for life, DW isn’t even getting out of bed.

(…and don’t even get him started on Britney Spears.)

UFC heavyweight contender Shane Carwin, typically one of Brock Lesnar’s harshest critics, has taken to the internet to defend the champ and shame the fans who doubt that his illness is real.  In a message posted to the UG forum, Carwin says that you don’t have to like Lesnar and his “antics,” but says fans “should have respect for the human side of what is happening here.”  In addition to offering his condolences and prayers for Lesnar’s full recovery, Carwin also made it very clear that he doesn’t want Lesnar to be stripped of the title just because he’s too sick to defend it: 

Talk of stripping a man of his title due to illness will set this sport back farther then anything Brock has ever said. We need our Champions healthy and defending. I know the show will go on but to be a Champion you must beat a Champion.

In other words, Carwin’s record as the classiest son of a bitch in all of MMA remains unblemished.  Obviously, he’s right.  As much as some of us might want to see Carwin put his enormous fist through Lesnar’s face, it’s far more important to see Lesnar get healthy.  He may not be the nicest or the most compassionate guy in the world, but he’s still a human being.   A gigantic, ill-tempered human being, who we all hope makes a quick and complete recovery.

(Don’t miss next week’s episode of ‘My Baroni,’ when Phil accidentally makes a date with two different ring girls on the same night!)

You may have been so excited about Tito Ortiz bringing his one-man Schadenfreude act back to the UFC that you forgot all about it, but another Octagon veteran returns at UFC 106, and it’s the NYBA himself, Phil Baroni.  When last we saw Baroni he was fending off allegations that he was pharmaceutically-enhanced before losing a one-sided decision to Joe Riggs in Strikeforce.  Now he’s one of the rare fighters to get another shot in the UFC immediately after a loss, and he takes on Amir Sadollah this Saturday night in a contest between two guys in desperate need of a win. 

So go on, Phil.  Tell us all about how bad you’re going to beat this mamaluke, or maybe something about how you’ve been avoiding having sex with your wife lately.  Come on and dazzle us.  It’s been too long and we can hardly wait to hear your new material:

“Look, I’ve said it all already,” Baroni said. “The trash talking is starting to sound like a broken record, even to me. Nothing that I say is going to affect the outcome of the fight. Nothing he says is going to affect the outcome of the fight. There is no need to hype it up because he is a big name among the fans after winning the reality show. I’m coming to reestablish myself in the UFC at his expense, and I’m sure he is coming to do the exact same thing at my expense, since he lost his last bout. …I’m done with all that, at least for now.  I’m not focused on that stuff. I’m focused on my training. I’ve got a tremendous opportunity in front of me, and I’m doing everything that I can to properly prepare so that I can take full advantage of it.”

Phil, it’s like I don’t even know who you are anymore.

(Props: MMA TKO…again)

When we heard that Dennis Siver received UFC 105′s Knockout of the Night bonus instead of Andre Winner, who appeared to have seriously affected Roli Delgado’s future consumption of solid foods with that blistering right hand, we were a little taken aback.  But okay, we thought, in all fairness, we hadn’t seen Siver’s knockout.  Winner’s was clearly a brainstem adjustor of the first class variety, but maybe, just maybe, Siver’s was so spectacular that it made Winner look like he’d barely squeaked by.  It’s possible, right?

("…so I said, ‘Incurable disease? My God, what’s the *good* news?’ And the doctor says, ‘We’re going to name it after you.’")

From the Associated Press:

(Photos courtesy of Mad Alex Photography via Fightlinker)

One of the cool things about being divorced is that you get to manhandle ring girls at photoshoots without the threat of your wife socking you in the head with a rolling pin later. No, the only things waiting for you when you come home will be dirty laundry, Dinty Moore beef stew, and sweet, blissful silence. (Or maybe, if you’re Randy Couture, your next future ex-wife.) After the jump: More pics from Mad Alex‘s new Natasha Wicks photo set, plus behind-the-scenes video from the shoot… 

(Kill it with fire!!!!)

Okay, now I think we know why "Mayhem" Miller felt the need to take to Twitter and badger Jake Shields about the result of their Strikeforce title fight.  Miller claims to have gotten a staph infection as a result of the bout, and this photo he posted just a few minutes ago confirms that he’s either telling the truth, or an alien is about to jump out of his throat.  The next time you hear Dana White asking a group of starry-eyed young men whether they want to be [expletive] fighters, think about this.  It’s not all girls and money and fame.  It’s also weird infections that make you look like you’re growing a third eye in the middle of your neck. 

Just hold tight, Mayhem.  We may not have any medical expertise whatsoever to help you deal with this, but we’re overnighting a turtleneck right now. 

(You keep making that face, Dan, and it’s going to stick.  Still, at least it attracts attention away from your sideburns.)

It’s no secret that here at the Potato we’re big fans of the phenomenon known as Punch-Face.  Just as no one looks cool sneezing, neither does anyone look cool when being punched in the face.  Okay, maybe Paul Newman, but that’s the one exception.  Fortunately for us, the boys at Fight Magazine were in England for UFC 105 this weekend and they captured a whole slew of punch-faces for us to enjoy.  Will we ever get sick of this?  Maybe one day.  It doesn’t seem like it’s going to be today, though. 

Check out our favorites after the jump, and go here to see the awesome UFC 105 photo gallery from Fight Magazine.

(Jake Shields: title-holder, smug expression-maker, Rancid fan.)

Before their Strikeforce title fight on CBS, Jake Shields and "Mayhem" Miller exchanged Twitter barbs that could accurately be described as good-natured ball-busting on both sides.  Then they fought, Shields won the Strikeforce middleweight strap via decision, and that was that.  Only recently the Twitter exchanges have gotten a little more personal and a lot less fun.  Like two drunk guys horsing around at a party, the play-wrestling has turned into torn collars and breathless invectives right in front of our eyes, and the rest of us can only stand around uncomfortably while trying to decide whether to try and broker a peace or just make up an excuse to leave.

Miller kicked things off by writing, "Jake, the worst damage you did was give me staph, zit covered leg humper," which prompted Shields to post the above picture with his belt collection.  Not one to let a situation cool down, Miller asked Shields if he "hugged" his way to those titles, which then made Shields retort with a remark about Miller’s arrest for assault, without mentioning that Miller was later acquitted of those charges.  In short, Shields and Miller probably aren’t going to be carpooling to future Strikeforce events together, so the real loser in all this is the environment. 

Thanks for nothing, Twitter.  You’ve ruined another friendship that might have been by making mass communication so easy that it’s hardly even worth thinking through the possible ramifications beforehand.  Something tells me they didn’t have this problem with the telegraph.

The Brock Lesnar illness saga seems to get more severe every time Dana White discusses it.  This weekend the UFC president categorized it as "very serious," but not life-threatening.  According to new quotes from DW on TMZ.com today, it’s serious enough that Lesnar’s career could possibly be in jeopardy.  White apparently told TMZ that Lesnar has been hospitalized ever since he collapsed during what was supposed to be a relaxing trip to Canada last week, and he may now need "major surgery" to deal with an intestinal disorder.  Again White ruled out cancer and HIV while saying that he couldn’t get specific about the problem, but any time you’re so sick that people will only say what diseases you don’t have, it’s not encouraging.  As far as his future in the Octagon, White said, "There’s a possibility Lesnar will never fight again."

The TMZ report stands in contrast to one on MMA Weekly, which quotes a source within Lesnar’s camp that downplays that severity of the illness, referring to it as, "just some complications with his illness and he had to be hospitalized for antibiotics."  

We hope that characterization is more accurate.  At the moment, the only thing that seems to be clear is that Lesnar is sick.  How sick, and for how long, is still in question.  Just the same, thoughts, prayers, whatever it is that you do, now might be a good time for it.  Feel better, big guy.

(Look, Dana isn’t saying that you guys have to hate each other; he’s just saying that he could understand why Thiago might be upset about some of the things Rashad may or may not have written about him on the Zuffa office’s bathroom wall.)

It’s the first rule of fight promoting, and the UFC knows it better than anyone: when life gives you staph infections, make staph infectionade.  Only, you know, don’t call it that.  After losing Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira off the UFC 108 card, and with him their main event feature attraction, the UFC has responded by pushing the Rashad Evans-Thiago Silva bout to the top spot and rebranding it a "grudge match."  They don’t go into much detail to explain the grudge part of that phrase, but we can probably assume that they’re going to be using the old ‘you beat my teammate and now I must beat you’ angle. 

In reality, Evans and Silva have expressed nothing but gentlemanly respect for one another’s skills, with the only hint of a grudge coming from Evans’ remark that Silva gave him "a nasty look" after defeating Keith Jardine.  Ken Shamrock-Tito Ortiz it ain’t, but at this point the UFC is probably just grateful to have two warm, relatively healthy bodies to put in the cage on January 2nd. 

As for Big Nog, he apologized to his fans but wisely noted "I have learned from my mistakes, and I’m not going into a fight unless I can give 100% my best performance."  Nog is currently getting medical treatment in San Diego, according to the UFC, and we wish him a speedy recovery. 

(‘Seriously Brandon, quit it. I’m not going to tell you again.’ Photo courtesy of UFC.com)

The data is in for UFC 105, and now the Potato Index’s arbitrary numerical rankings system is here to tell you who’s up and who’s down after this weekend’s UK action.

Randy Couture +25
It goes down as another win on his permanent record, but it just as easily could have gone the other way.  He’s still great when it comes to executing a game plan, and any man who can bounce back from those kicks to the body is a tough S.O.B., but a methodical, debatable win over a mid-level 205’er doesn’t herald the dawning of a new age for Randy the light heavyweight.

Brandon Vera -21
As close as this fight was, Vera can’t complain.  He spent most of the bout with his back on the fence, and when he finally put Couture in trouble he let him off the hook rather than trying to finish him off.  Sorry, Truth.  Looks like the middle of the pack is where you’re going to stay.

(Props: Smoogy on this epic UG thread.)

Just as Pop Idol spawned American Idol, and Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? launched Oh, lucky man!, the UFC wants to turn its Ultimate Fighter property into a global franchise. As Dana White told MMA Junkie following UFC 105, international versions of TUF will begin production in seven or eight countries early next year:

(Props: MMA Hits. Fight starts at the 9:06 mark.)

By now, you probably know that Manny Pacquiao dominated Miguel Cotto on Saturday night en route to a 12th-round TKO victory, becoming the first boxer to win world titles in seven different weight classes, and solidifying his position as best pound-for-pound pugilist on the planet. Cotto was as game as advertised, and kept the contest competitive early on. But the knockdowns that Pacquiao scored in the third round (right hook) and fourth round (left uppercut) turned the tide of the fight for good, and Cotto spent most of the remainder of the match playing defense.

Cotto’s camp nearly threw in the towel after a demoralizing 11th frame, but the fight was allowed to continue to the last round, in which referee Kenny Bayless seized on the first opportunity to stop the fight; the official time was 0:55 of round 12. Immediately after the fight, the MGM Grand Garden Arena began to chant "We want Floyd!" Ah, but does Money Mayweather want Manny? The video is above; watch and be inspired.

(This is why you always wash your hands after handling Maxim photo shoot props. For all you know, Fergie might have touched them before you.)

If the strongest among us aren’t safe from disease, there can be little hope for the rest of us mere mortals.  According to Dana White, Brock Lesnar is “not going to be fighting for a while” because his condition has worsened of late and doctors “don’t really know all that’s wrong with him.”  Though DW said his condition wasn’t life-threatening, he added that Lesnar did have some other health issue in addition to mono, but declined to say exactly what it was, calling it “very serious.”  Sounds like he wasn’t faking sick, after all.

Even giants get ill sometimes, so it shouldn’t be so frightening to hear that Lesnar is laid low, right?  Normally, perhaps.  But this comes near the end of an illness and injury-riddled year for the UFC, and things only seem to be getting worse.  Former champ Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira is also going through some rough times, and a resurgent staph infection has forced him to pull out of UFC 108 and will likely result in him being hospitalized.  On its own, it might only be a personal struggle for Big Nog.  But in light of Lesnar’s illness and other current trends, it is surely a harbinger of doom. 

(The word you’re looking for is, Daaaamn! Props: MMA TKO)

Last night’s UFC event in Manchester, England sure drew the locals out of their pubs, setting a new UFC record for attendance at a European event with 16,693 attendees for a live gate of more than $2 million.  That means the UFC had plenty of spare cash for bonuses, and they gave out $40,000 bumps to Michael Bisping and Denis Kang (Fight of the Night), Terry Etim (Submission of the Night), and Denis Siver (KO of the Night).  Etim was the easy choice, since he had the night’s only submission, but we would have thought that Andre Winner earned a KO bonus with the memory-eraser you see above.  Siver’s must have been truly spectacular, or else the UFC is using him as part of a money laundering scheme.  It’s definitely one of those two.

Of course, the decision that handed Randy Couture the win over Brandon Vera at UFC 105 is already being called "controversial," though it was such a close three-round fight that we’d probably be hearing the same gripes if it had gone the other way.  Sure, Vera came the closest to finishing the fight, but that one burst of offense in the econd round was the most significant action of the fight.  Aside from that, it was a lot of Couture pressing Vera up against the fence, stifling any attempts at offense.  That’s never going to be easy to score or even all that satisfying to watch.  One thing we can all agree on, though….

(When Logan saw the scarf, a chill went through her body. The beaten, bloodied man she saw in the alley — suddenly it all made sense. / Photo courtesy of the UFC 105: Weigh in Pics set on CombatLifestyle.)

By now, Randy Couture and Brandon Vera have already headlined UFC 105 in Manchester, England. Either Mike Swick or Dan Hardy has earned a title shot against Georges St. Pierre. Michael Bisping could have put on a heroic performance against Denis Kang in front of his fellow Brits, or he could have been exposed again. Maybe I already know what happened in these fights; if so, I’m not telling, at least not yet. Maybe you know as well, in which case we’re flattered that you’re here, but we’re a little curious as to what you’re doing on CagePotato on a Saturday night, reading descriptions of fights that you’ve already seen live in England or via an Internet feed, or at the very least spoiled for yourself on another website, especially when they’re being shown right now on Spike TV, though if you live on the West Coast, the show won’t even begin for another three hours. It’s all a little mind-bending when you stop to think about it, so don’t. Don’t think. Simply flow, and flow simply. Exist only in this moment. Round-by-round updates from the UFC 105 Spike TV broadcast are after the jump. Refresh the page every few minutes to see the latest, and please leave your thoughts in the comments section. Now, let us watch fights…

(Usually, flying a British flag at half-mast would signify some sort of tragedy. Photo courtesy of the UFC 105: Weigh in Pics set on CombatLifestyle.)

Spoliers after the jump. Come back at 8 p.m. for play-by-play from the Spike broadcast…

(This could get interesting…Props: Combat Lifestyle)

- More details on the EA Sports MMA video game. (Fightlinker)

- Matt Mitrione insists "my mush head was legit." (Fight Magazine)

- Cyborg Santos says she imagines herself in the UFC. (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Forrest Griffin cut short his honeymoon to train for Tito Ortiz. (Sherdog)

- Affliction files motion to dismiss Fedor, M-1 lawsuit. (MMA Payout)

- Roy Nelson discusses his fight with Justin Wren. (USA Today)

- Kang warns Bisping to kill the bear before selling the fur. (Fighters Only)

- Dan Hardy doesn’t think GSP is that tough. (Cage Writer)

- Musings from everyone’s favorite grizzled veteran, Don Frye. (The Rumble)

- Someone has a bone to pick with Joe Silva. (Bleacher Report)

- Scientists are seriously working on an invisibility cloak. (Asylum)

- UFC hopeful Chad Ochocinco gets $20,000 fine. (Scores Report)

- Manny Pacquiao talks Cotto, Freddie Roach, and more. (Ask Men)

- 25 hardcore chicks. (Holy Taco)

- Roland Emmerich ends the world. (Screen Junkies)

- The Ernest Hemingway standup desk. (Made Man)

- Wreck of the Week: man vs. table. (All Left Turns)

- Terrible rap battle ends in an even worse fight. (Nothing Toxic)

I spoke with Brandon Vera for an SI.com article this week about his fight with Randy Couture at UFC 105 and what it would mean for him to beat a legend.  To hear Vera tell it, he realizes that he got a little too full of himself early in his career, but his new training partners have brought him back down to earth.  He says he’s never trained harder for a fight in his life, but he still had some trouble trying to figure out how he’s going to throw anything at Couture that the guy hasn’t already seen:

"I was thinking, what can I do to Randy that he’s never experienced before? I thought long and hard about it and it’s tough because of who he is and how long he’s been in the sport. But Randy’s never fought anybody with kicks and shins like me. I only have to hit him three or four times each round with my shin, and it could change the fight. I’m going to hit Randy like he’s never been hit before."

In other words, he’s going to try to do to Couture what he did to Mike Patt.  But this begs the question, if Vera is so confident in his ability to break opponents down and put them away with his kicks, why didn’t he try to do more of that in his last fight with K-Sos, which he won via a very narrow decision?  His answer might surprise you:

Swallowing an entire bottle of Klonopin in a suicide attempt then assaulting three nurses at a hospital and threatening to rape their families — well, that would be a bad day for anybody. But after the dust settled on Junie Browning’s Las Vegas misadventure last month, he was embarassed and apologetic, telling Fighters Only, "I have a lot of problems and I’m working on them…I’m truly sorry for what happened, and if I could take it back I definitely would." So we can put this behind us and move on, right Lunatic?

Not quite. Browning failed to appear in court to answer his battery charges, and now there’s a warrant out for his arrest. ("FOX5 attempted to contact him for an interview, but was met with a profanity-laced recorded message and the calls were not returned.") Terrible timing, considering he has a totally ill-advised fight booked in Indiana on November 28th. Then again, it’s against a 1-0 rookie, so maybe they can get LionHeart Blevins to fill in. Best of luck sorting out your legal issues, Junie. Please, no armed standoffs!

(24/7 Pacquiao-Cotto, Episode 1. Props to HBO.)

Being obsessed with MMA doesn’t mean we can’t mark out for Manny Pacquiao once in a while. It’s hard not to love the guy. He’s a brilliant fighter who’s somehow managed to stay humble, he has a lovely singing voice, and he’s never publicly referred to our favorite sport as panty-wrestling porno for beer-drinkers. It’s almost too bad that we’ll be dutifully liveblogging UFC 105 tomorrow (Spike TV, 8 p.m. ET/PT), because we’re curious to see how Pac-Man does against WBO welterweight champ Miguel Cotto in their 145-pound contest at the MGM Grand Las Vegas. The Pacquiao/Cotto broadcast starts at 9 p.m. ET/6 p.m. on HBO PPV, so hopefully you live near a kickass sports bar that will be showing both fight cards at the same time. Check out the first installment of HBO’s 24/7: Pacquiao-Cotto above; Pacquiao fans, show some love in the comments section below.

(Sure, the relationship looks intense now, but in five years Swick will be taking him for granted and Hardy won’t even bother to do his hair anymore. Photo courtesy of Combat Lifestyle.)

To get ourselves pumped for tomorrow’s UFC 105 event in Manchester, England, we’ve been really working on our dry wit and our stiff upper lips.  Results so far have been, shall we say, mixed, so we’re going to take a break from all that dignified crap and go back to insulting one another while making broad claims that we don’t even attempt to back up.  You know, real American stuff.  This is Ben vs. Ben. 

Randy Couture is going down in weight (again) to give yet another boost to his seemingly endless career.  What do you make of his chances to beat Brandon Vera on Saturday, and what happens next for "The Natural"?

BF: I have to admit that despite all the amazing things we’ve seen Randy do, some part of me always thinks that his next fight will be when Father Time finally catches up with the ageless wonder and stomps him into an unrecognizable mass and blood and pulp before looking down at him and saying, ‘That’s for making me chase you all these years.’  I can’t shake the feeling that this will happen some day, but then again, I don’t think it will necessarily be this Saturday, nor do I think it will necessarily happen against Brandon Vera.

All fighters successfully made weight for UFC 105 in Manchester.  That makes for a positive, though boring story, so we’ll just have to content ourselves with the latest installment of Dana White’s video blog.  It seems DW is entertaining himself in England by looking at a mixture of art and oddities, all in the same afternoon.  The things you can do when you’re a rich fight promoter with a love of high-brow culture and freaky weird stuff. 

The highlight here may be White’s face time with fans, some of whom grill him with questions about Strikeforce and Gina Carano.  At about the 5:07 mark we see the world’s biggest Dan Henderson fan, who tells Dana in no uncertain terms, "Sign Hendo back.  He’s the best fighter in the world, sign him back."  That does not sound like a request, Mr. White.  That’s an in-your-face demand.  Pay Henderson his "obscene" amount of money, or face that kid’s chubby wrath.

Full weigh-in results are after the jump.

(Props: fightlife.tv)

The dream: Headlining a UFC pay-per-view card, knocking your opponent out in front of a roaring crowd, then making a few laps in your money silo. The reality: Endless struggle, no money, and no health insurance; some fighters are even forced to bang skanks on camera to make ends meet. This MMA shit? Not easy. Fight Life is a new documentary from actor/filmmaker James Z. Feng, in which various MMA stars describe the long, hard road to success in the world’s most demanding sport. "Maybe someday out there is your day, that’s what you’re fighting for," says author Sam Sheridan. "And on that day, maybe you can have it all." Or maybe this happens…

From Georges St. Pierre to BJ Penn to Kenny Florian, Sean Sherk has fought nothing but champions and top contenders during his current run in the UFC. But after his loss to Frank Edgar at UFC 98, the Muscle Shark may no longer be a top contender himself. And so, it’s time to rebuild. In an interview with wicombatsports.com, Sherk revealed that he’ll be returning to the Octagon at UFC 108 (January 2, Las Vegas) against Rafaello "Tractor" Oliveira, the 9-2 BJ Penn training partner who lost his UFC debut to Nik Lentz at UFC 103. Coincidentally, Lentz is a training partner of Sherk at Minnesota Martial Arts Academy. "He’s been able to give me some good advice on him," Sherk said.

For the former UFC lightweight champion, this is one of those matchups where you just have to swallow your pride and get the job done. Yes, Oliveira is "below" him; he’s 0-1 in the UFC, and has never beaten anybody with a name. On the other hand, Sherk looked completely ineffective in his last match — the fearsome wrestler has become a middling kickboxer — and he hasn’t finished a fight inside the Octagon since 2002. "Tractor" is obviously being set up to lose here. If Sherk wants to make a comeback, he’ll have to hold up his end of the deal, and do so in impressive fashion.