Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

November, 2009

Friday Link Dump

(Fabricio Camoes preps for UFC debut. Via The Garv)

– All fighters make weight for UFC 106. (MMA Fanhouse)

– 50 greatest MMA dominations. (Complex)

– Forrest Griffin reflects on his potty mouth. (Cagewriter)

– Dana White weighs in on Karo Parisyan, Shane McMahon and more. (Sherdog)

– Pacquiao-Cotto did 1.25 million pay-per-view buys. (MMA Payout)

– Marcus Davis isn’t done hating on Dan Hardy. (MMA Scraps)

– Matt Serra confirms Frank Trigg fight on for UFC 109. (Fight Network)

– Matt Mitrione says he’s not even watching TUF anymore. (Fight Magazine)

– Karo Parisyan needs our support, not our disgust. (Bleacher Report)

– Rumble Round Table: UFC 106. (The Rumble)

- Manny Pacquiao would really like to fight Floyd Mayweather. (Scores Report)

- Mother Nature’s Punch-Out. (Asylum)

- Why do hipsters love Jim Jarmusch movies? (Ask Men)

- 25 runway models falling down. (Holy Taco)

- Wreck of the Week: Nascar with friends. (All Left Turns)

- How to make the perfect Turducken. (Made Man)

- Awesome Star Wars cakes. (Screen Junkies)

- Soccer player takes an excruciating shot to the pills. (Nothing Toxic)


Josh Koscheck: Still Pretty Much A Jerk

You know how some people have this magnetic quality to them that makes you want to like them, no matter what they might be saying or doing?  Guys like Jack Nicholson, or that Australian kid who threw the crazy party and refused to take off his sunglasses.  Even when they behave poorly, there’s still something about them that makes it impossible not to be on their side.  Josh Koscheck is the complete opposite of that, and he displays it perfectly in this video interview with Fight Magazine.  Here he talks ever so smugly about how Anthony Johnson doesn’t want to fight him, how he’d love to take 20% of his purse and then beat him up anyway, and how he fully intends to punish "Rumble" like the UFC wants him to.  It’s the high school bully act, and Koscheck fits into the role so easily it’s like he was born to do it.

As a contrast, Johnson couldn’t find anything bad to say about Koscheck at all.  In fact, he called Koscheck an "entertaining" fighter and said he was "really respectable as a human being."  He said those things before this video of Koscheck smirking into the camera was posted to the internet.  Hopefully someone shows it to him before the fight tomorrow night.  He should at least go into it with a clear idea of the level of jerkitude that he’s dealing with.


Herschel Walker’s MMA Debut Set for January 30th

Herschel Walker
(Photo courtesy of Tie courtesy of Elton John.)

Heisman Trophy winner, two-time NFL Pro Bowl selection, Olympic bobsledder, Dissociative Identity Disorder sufferer, Celebrity Apprentice contestant, Tae Kwon Do black belt, and American Kickboxing Academy student Herschel Walker will make his MMA debut on January 30th at a Strikeforce event to be held at the BankAtlantic Center in Sunrise, Florida. The news was announced yesterday via press release, though Walker’s opponent has yet to be named. The only other match tied to the card at this point is Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos‘s 145-pound title defense against Marloes Coenen.

As Dana White pondered when Walker’s Strikeforce signing was first announced: "Which athletic commission is going to let this guy fight? Who the fuck are they going to find to fight Herschel Walker? A guy in a wheelchair?” We now know the answer to the first question is "Florida," the state that previously signed off on Kimbo Slice vs. Ken Shamrock at the same venue last October. As for Dana’s other hypotheticals, we hope that Herschel Walker’s opponent has some kind of disability, considering that Walker has only been training in MMA since last month, and it wouldn’t really be fair to make him fight a guy who has both fighting experience and the use of all of his limbs. I mean, if Strikeforce really wants to put Walker against Fedor Emelianenko in the spring, they’d better give him a beatable first opponent.


Black-Eyed Tito Ortiz Predicts Griffin Will Leave the Octagon on a Stretcher


We’re just one day away from the return of UFC legend/unbearable heel Tito Ortiz at UFC 106, and the former light-heavyweight champ promises to go out guns blazin’ against Forrest Griffin: "I gotta put on a show, I gotta win, I gotta stop him, I gotta do what I need to do in my game to make Forrest quit." Though Ortiz claims to have improved his striking for this fight, he also won’t be giving up his bread and butter. "Every time he kicks he’s gonna be taken down. A lot of fighters don’t take advantage of that when they see Forrest kick, they try to check all the kicks. The hell with that. I’m putting him on his back. Back to the old Tito Ortiz, man, my ground and pound where it’s lethal…they’ll be carrying him out on a stretcher."

Later, Ortiz says that he doesn’t have a problem with the way that the UFC has used his name to build the careers of Griffin and Lyoto Machida, and regarding the rash of injuries and illnesses in the UFC as of late, he’d fight Forrest with a broken leg (which he clarifies he doesn’t have, but still). The only thing that matters to him right now is becoming a world champion again, one match at a time. And if that gets in the way of roles in Mark Wahlberg flicks, so be it.

And yes, he’s wearing the shades again. There’s a reason for that…


Brockwatch: Lesnar Back in Six Months, Says Jiu-Jitsu Coach Who’s Not a Doctor

According to Brock Lesnar‘s jiu-jitsu coach, Rodrigo "Comprido" Medeiros, the big man is healing up after his surgery and will "be fighting again within six months."  That means Lesnar-Carwin could take place this spring, and there will be no need for an interim title or any other such nonsense.  Great, right?  Only maybe we should consider the possibility, however minor, that "Comprido" is substituting blind optimism for medical knowledge.

If we can believe what Dana White says, Lesnar had a hole in his intestine that was leaking stuff into his stomach.  I’m no more a doctor than I am a jiu-jitsu world champion, but that sounds like the kind of thing that could sideline a man for a little while.  Even if the surgery was completely successful in repairing the problems, Lesnar will probably need to rest for a little while before returning to the kind of intense training that might prepare him for a title defense. 

In other words, let’s take this six month promise with a grain of salt.  While it’s believable that Lesnar may heal much faster than your average mortal, it’s also possible that he might need more time to put this behind him and get in shape to defend a heavyweight championship.  Especially after what those Canadian doctors did to him


Oh Yeah, This Is Happening

(Photo by Esther Lin, for Strikeforce.)

Kerry Vera and Kim Couture are set to go at it tonight in the Strikeforce Challengers event in Kansas City.  Since they both share the names of famous UFC fighters who just faced one another, it probably seemed like a genius idea to Strikeforce.  But "Sugar Free" is a Couture in the same way that Ivana is a Trump.  When a name helps that much you hang on to it, even if you didn’t hang on to the husband

So what do you think, is your interest in this bout harmed by the somewhat disappointing display put on by their male counterparts at UFC 105?  Or does Kim’s shiny weigh-in bikini erase all those memories from your mind?  Not trying to juge or anything, but when these girls show up wearing more than you…


Painkiller Dependency Spurred Karo Parisyan’s Latest Fight Withdrawal

(Melanson and Parisyan, before it all fell apart. Props:

In a new interview with Five Ounces of Pain, Karo Parisyan’s longtime friend and training partner Neil Melanson confirmed that Parisyan’s latest last-minute fight-cancellation was directly related to the painkiller addiction that has haunted him for years. After Melanson got permission from Karo to go public with the story, he laid it all out:

“Karo’s had some problems with an addiction to pain medicine due to an injury he sustained a few years ago. Then when he started having these anxiety problems, it didn’t seem like the anxiety pills were helping him. The only thing that was helping him was the pain medication that he had been taking for his injuries. That’s when he just started down that slope. It’s just one of those situations where you have two guys that sit down to have a drink, and you have one guy that can go home and he’s fine, and the other guy has to go out and get wasted every single time because he’s an alcoholic. I think that maybe with the pills, that Karo is the second guy. Maybe he’s the guy that can’t take them here and there, or can’t use them effectively…
He told me that he was on pain medicine, but he wanted to get off. He had a plan and he was working his way to get off of it. About a month ago he was taking about half the amount that he usually does and he was pretty optimistic. He was really trying to push it. He was going through some withdrawals and he would try to push it as hard as he could to get off the stuff. He really had a plan to be off three weeks prior to the fight and he really wanted to clean up. He really wanted to do this right. It was really important to him and his family. I hadn’t spoken to him for just a little bit, and I guess he tried, but he couldn’t.

WEC 44 Payouts: Something’s Gotta Give

Jose Aldo Mike Brown WEC 44
("God damn you, Jose, don’t you ever leave me again!" Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

The WEC doled out a meager $276,500 in official salaries and bonuses for their "Brown vs. Aldo" event on Wednesday night, proving once again that short people are paid far less than their taller counterparts. Mike Brown earned just $15,000 for his failed title defense, and only five fighters broke the $20,000 mark. The numbers are below. Keep in mind that they don’t include income from sponsorships and "locker room bonuses" — which in the WEC probably amount to a No Fear energy drink and cab fare back to the hotel — or deductions for taxes, insurance, licensing fees, athletic commission fines, and alimony.

Jose Aldo: $36,000 (includes $13,000 win bonus, $10,000 Knockout of the Night bonus)
Mike Brown: $15,000

Manny Gamburyan: $36,000 (includes $18,000 win bonus)
Leonard Garcia: $14,000

Karen Darabedyan: $6,000 (includes $3,000 win bonus)
Rob McCullough: $20,000


Get Ready For Your Close-Ups, Jacob Volkmann and Paulo Thiago

(Paulo Thiago commits a major Brazilian faux pas by wearing red after Carnival.)

It’s like that old saying, God never closes a door without opening a window so someone else can sneak inside and steal all your jewelry.  In the case of the UFC 106 main card, Karo Parisyan seems to have closed that door all by himself, and now the window is wide open for Paulo Thiago and Jacob Volkmann, whose fight has just been bumped to the televised portion of the pay-per-view

As you’ll no doubt recall, Thiago was originally supposed to face Thiago Alves in the most confusing match-up of names since Gegard Mousasi fought Musashi, but after some reshuffling he ended up getting the Octagon rookie Volkmann.  Just yesterday they were still relegated to the dark portion of this card, but as things continued to fall apart around UFC 106 the outlook got brighter.  Now the entire paying world will get to see them square off, with the pay-per-view broadcast currently looking like this:


Keith Kizer Talks Karo Parisyan’s UFC 106 Withdrawal & The Trouble With Collecting NSAC Fines

In this video with Cagewriter’s Steve Cofield, Keith Kizer goes into slightly more detail about the Karo Parisyan situation, making it sound more and more like Parisyan was doing the old Matt Mitrione, trying to get out of this fight any way he could.  Granted this is only one side of the story we’re hearing here, but it sure sounds like the Nevada State Athletic Commission was beyond reasonable about this whole thing.  Allowing him to pay the fine out of his next purse is akin to letting him work off the debt, which is more than Blockbuster is willing to do.

The most interesting moment here may be when Cofield asks Kizer whether it’s usually an issue getting fighters to pay their fines.  I guess I always assumed that the NSAC made you write a check right after handing down their verdict, and if you didn’t have it in your bank account anymore by then they made you, I don’t know, wash dishes at a local restaurant or something. 

But Kizer says the NSAC is still waiting to get paid by Pawel Nastula, who popped positive for several different banned substances after his loss to Josh Barnett at Pride 32 in Las Vegas back in 2006.  In all fairness, Nastula was accustomed to a different culture with regards to performing-enhancing substances, so it’s kind of impressive that he was only on one steroid and three different stimulants.  In Pride, that assortment used to be known as a light breakfast.