Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

February, 2010

Josh Barnett’s Grappling Tournament Dominance: Awesome or Not Awesome?

(The finals of the 205+ division. See all the videos here.)

It sounds like the opening to a joke that only MMA nerds would appreciate: ‘Josh Barnett walks into a grappling tournament…’ And yet this is how MMA’s best inactive heavyweight spent his Valentine’s Day weekend, tapping out all the poor bastards who had the misfortune to end up on the mat with him, and doing so with great ease. The dudes who signed up for the advanced division of this southern California grappling tournament probably expected some stiff competition, but they almost certainly did not expect to face a guy who was widely considered to be Fedor Emelianenko’s toughest challenger before a positive steroid test derailed the fight and torpedoed an entire organization.

This brings us to our pressing question for today – is Barnett’s grappling tournament bad-assery awesome, or not awesome? Follow me after the jump and let’s discuss the merits of both sides.


Hot Potato: Conquest MMA Model ‘Cali-Luv’

Cali Luv model Conquest MMA sexy
(Photos courtesy of and ModelMayhem. Click thumbnails for larger versions. Props to MMA Fight Girls for the tip.)
Cali-Luv MMA model conquest take a nap fight gear hot sexy boobs Cali Luv hot MMA model ring girl boobs sexy Cali Luv hot girl model MMA conquest ring girl
Cali-Luv gun model sexy underwear Cali Luv naked MMA model gun sexy Cali Luv ass sexy MMA model railroad tracks blonde

Speaking of professional hot chicks, Conquest MMA/Take a Nap Fight Gear has added the lovely Cali-Luv to their stable of models, which already includes hotties like Jenny P and Adree DeSanti. According to her Model Mayhem profile, Cali is an exotic mash-up of German, French, Scottish, and Native American ancestry who loves ice cream, classic rock, and the color pink; she does not like sweat ("icky"), seafood, or the IRS. To see a little more of Cali — as in, more than might be tolerated by the human resources department at your place of business — click here.


Who Wants to Be a Bellator Ring Girl?

(Check out the communication skills on these ladies.)

Now that they are becoming more and more big time with each new sunrise, Bellator has decided that the next step is to improve their stable of ring girls. And how do you do that? The same way creepy casting directors meet their dates for Saturday night – unnecessary auditions!

In a move that is just begging for their email inboxes to be filled with alarming nude photos (take it from someone who worked for an MMA org conducting a ring girl search, it happens more than you’d think), Bellator is asking interested applicants to send photos and resumes to their Chicago offices. To be considered you should have “excellent communications skills, a vivacious and outgoing personality as well as an outstanding camera presence.” Translation: you should speak English, be really hot, and not be a completely unlikable jerk, at least when people are watching.

Does that sound like you? Probably not, no. Our completely informal demographic research tells us that most likely you are a) a dude, b) not all that attractive, or even in possession of socially acceptable hygiene habits, and c) at least sort of a jerk. But, shockingly enough, we know there are some women who read Cage Potato, and maybe even some who’d like to try their hand at ring girlin’. To those women, let us be the first to say, go for it.  We’re even willing to help.


Rich Clementi Learned a Painful Lesson About High Altitudes and the Human Body

(Props: MMA Scraps)

Those of you who had your FightPicker pools ruined by Rich Clementi’s second-round TKO loss at King of the Cage on Saturday night may have found yourselves drinking stale coffee in your squalid apartments on Sunday morning, staring out the dirty window at the stray cats stalking the dumpsters in the alley and wondering aloud, ‘How the hell did Clementi get beat by Quinn Mulhern? Who the hell is Quinn Mulhern, anyway? And why is my life so horribly depressing?’

The answer to at least one of those questions can be found in a UG post by “No Love” himself, who explained his sub-par performance thusly:


‘Mr. Wonderful’ to Return on Short Notice Against Alexander Gustafsson

Phil Davis Brian Stann UFC 109
(As any rider could tell you, it’s the longest eight seconds of your life. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

Just two months after his dominant UFC debut against Brian Stann at UFC 109, Phil "Mr. Wonderful" Davis (5-0) will reportedly return to the Octagon at UFC 112 (April 10th, Abu Dhabi), to face Swedish slugger Alexander Gustafsson (9-0). Gustafsson made his own UFC debut at #105, where he knocked out Jared Hamman in 41 seconds. (Video of that fight is after the jump, in case you don’t remember it.) It seems like the UFC wants to waste no time in fast-tracking one of these guys into light-heavyweight contendership, at the expense of the other.

For the record
, Davis ideally wanted to make his next UFC appearance in June, and graded his performance against Stann a B-. "I’d say that I need to refine everything," Davis told "I can’t really say I need to do better at just this or that. I think my standup needs to get better, I think my wrestling needs to get better, I think my jiu-jitsu needs to get better, and I think I need to work at being more explosive." [Ed. note: No comment.]


Completely Unnecessary Rematch Alert, pt. 2: Elvis Sinosic vs. Chris Haseman


Closing out the preliminary card of UFC 110 this Saturday will be a light-heavyweight bout between Elvis Sinosic and Chris Haseman, which will make minor history as the first UFC fight contested between two Australians. While the local Sydney crowd will surely mark out for the scrap, it’s a shame that the competitors have to be so unworthy. Sinosic (8-11-2, 1-6 UFC) has dropped his last two fights, and hasn’t won a match in over three years. The semi-retired Haseman (20-16, 0-1 UFC) last competed in November 2008 when he knocked out Yuji "The Pink Typhoon" Hisamatsu, breaking a four-fight losing streak that dated back to 2002. Basically, neither of these guys would be getting another shot in the UFC if they weren’t both Australian, and available on the day of the show. (It says a lot about the state of Australian MMA that these are the two biggest/best stars they could pull for their Aussie vs. Aussie feature.)

But there is one hook to hang the fight on: The King of Rock ‘n’ Rumble and the Hammer met once before, way back in March 1997, at an eight-man Caged Combat: Australian Ultimate Fighting tournament that was won by Brazilian Top Team co-founder Mario Sperry. Haseman’s performance in the tourney was notable because he scored two wins via chin-to-eye submission. The video above shows the semi-final match between Sinosic and Haseman; Haseman chins Elvis out at the 4:00 mark. Though the technique is currently outlawed by the Unified Rules under the "no gouging" clause, it would be a fitting tribute to Australia’s colorful MMA history if the refs could look the other way this weekend. Do you really think those descendants of criminals will give a shit?

Previously: Completely Unnecessary Rematch Alert: Wes Sims vs. Tim Sylvia II


James Te Huna’s Dark Past Includes Tag Team MMA

If you look up James Te Huna‘s MMA record on the internet to learn a little something about him in advance of his Octagon debut at UFC 110 this weekend, you’ll see that he’s officially 11-4 with a nice little five-fight winning streak going. What you won’t see, however, is this bizarre moment in his fighting career. Our buddies at The Rumble dug up a video of Te Huna fighting alongside Api Hemara, who actually submitted Te Huna in his pro debut, in a tag team MMA fight that pits the New Zealanders against two virtually indistinguishable Russians.

The rules to this thing seem unclear to everyone, and this results in several confusing moments for the fighters, the ref, and the crowd.  Somehow they make it through whatever constitutes a whole fight without anyone accidentally punching their own partner, and the Kiwis eventually secure a decision victory to salvage some dignity. As we all know, the only thing more embarrassing than participating in a tag team MMA match is losing one. Part two is after the jump.


MMA FightPicker Recap: Weekend Upsets, New Point-Leaders, UFC 110 Open for Pickin’

MMA FightPicker logo

Let’s be honest — trying to predict the results of fights between guys you don’t really know is a fool’s errand. But we appreciate those of you who set aside logic and participated in MMA FightPicker last week anyway. I placed a respectable third in my pool (Contender Pool 10 #308 represent!), but was ultimately sunk by the upsets at King of the Cage: Vengeance. UFC vet Rich Clementi did his career no favors by getting TKO’d by young upstart Quinn Mulhern (video here), while Mike Kyle wore down the much larger Travis Wiuff with strikes until an exhausted Wiuff collapsed against the cage at the end of the second round. In the event’s title fights, KOTC heavyweight champ Tony Lopez picked up his 16th-straight win by finishing Tyler East with a triangle choke, while bantamweight champ Abel Cullum subbed Joe Coca via kimura in the first round.

As for the other action in last week’s pools, Alan Omer proved his status as a featherweight to watch by sinking a triangle choke on Paul Reed in the fourth round of their title fight at BAMMA 2, and dangerous Icelander Gunnar Nelson kept his undefeated streak alive by finishing Sam Elsdon in the first by rear-naked choke. Don’t ask me about the fights at Rage in the Cage; a couple dudes won by decision, and that’s all you need to know.

The top three players going into last week failed to pick up any chips (LOSERS!), allowing some new names to storm up the leaderboard. Currently in first place with 385 chips is Steffmeister, who must be a die-hard King of the Cage fan with at least a working knowledge of the British featherweight scene. Rounding out the top 5 are…

2) brade1584: 355 PotatoChips
3) Ciarán Parnell: 350 PotatoChips
4) Jokulgoblin: 275 PotatoChips
5) Aaron Rampey: 270 PotatoChips

They’re up there, but you can still catch ‘em if you beat some ass in this week’s pools, which focus on UFC 110 in Australia. Take a look at the questions after the jump, make your picks at, and stay tuned because our first prize pools are launching this week. Thrilling details to come…


Whatchoo Talking ‘Bout, Bobby Lashley?

Bobby Lashley was in studio with the guys from "Inside MMA" recently, and wouldn’t you know it, they just happened to have the results of an online poll question about who Lashley should fight next.  Fans agree that Brett Rogers would make the most interesting next opponent, but Lashley isn’t even trying to pretend that he wants that fight.  In the twisted caverns of his mind, it makes no sense to fight any somewhat credible opponent unless it’s the champ.

"Either let me fight the way I want to, build up and get a few fights under my belt and then work my way up there, or let me fight the champ."

All due respect here Bobby, but that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.


It Will Be Demian Maia Fighting Anderson Silva in Abu Dhabi

Demian Maia Jason MacDonald UFC 87 MMA
(Demian Maia puts a hurtin’ on Jason MacDonald at UFC 87. Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner in the "Which Barely Credible Challenger Wants to Get Thrashed by Anderson Silva on Two Months’ Notice?" sweepstakes. From

Following a hard-fought three round win over Dan Miller at UFC 109 that showed him to be more than just a submission expert*, Demian Maia will jump right back into training camp for the biggest fight of his career – an April 10th meeting with UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva in the main event of UFC 112 at Ferrari World on Yas Island in Abu Dhabi. Maia replaces countryman Vitor Belfort, who underwent emergency surgery on his left shoulder earlier this week to fix a chronic injury that got worse in his training camp for Silva.
“It’s always tough when a top fighter like Vitor Belfort has to pull out of a big title fight, but we have found a high quality replacement,” said UFC President Dana White. “Top contender Chael Sonnen was not available due to injuries sustained in his fight with Nate Marquardt, so top six** middleweight Demian Maia will step in to fight for the title. Maia is an Abu Dhabi grappling champion, a five-time Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu world champion, and he is 12-1 in MMA and coming off a win over Dan Miller at UFC 109. Anderson Silva vs Demian Maia will be a matchup between MMA’s best striker and MMA’s best grappler.”

* Sure. He’s also a mediocre kickboxer.

** Come on, nobody uses the phrase "top six." Just say "top five" and hope nobody questions it.

So let’s break this down…