(He’s not here to make friends, people.)

Following up on appearances by Georges St. Pierre and Frank Mir, SportsCenter also spoke with UFC heavyweight champ Brock Lesnar to get his thoughts on the Carwin-Mir interim title fight at UFC 111 this weekend. MMAFighting.com passes along some quotes from his appearance and, I know this is going to sound weird, but he was actually kind of a jerk about a few things.

On Saturday night’s fight:
"That was a business decision that the UFC had to make. Really, that belt is a make-believe belt to satisfy the company and to satisfy the people in the heavyweight division. I’m still the heavyweight champion."

(This is either the line-up for a great game of MMA Fightpicker, or the worst folk music trio in history.)

It’s one thing for us to beat up on one another with our weekly MMA FightPicker game, but do we have what it takes to out-prognosticate an actual UFC fighter? To help us find out, “Ultimate Fighter” winner Roy “Big Country” Nelson, who will be taking on Stefan Struve at UFC Fight Night 21 next Wednesday, has graciously agreed to throw his hat into the virtual Octagon this week and go head-to-head with us on UFC 111 picks. For that we are indebted to him, and so we remind you to check out his official site as well as his Tapout signature t-shirt, and we also thank Superaction, Spike TV, and MMA Glory Talent.

Remember, this week’s FightPicker has changed some with the removal of Thiago Alves and the reshuffling of Ben Saunders, so don’t forget to adjust your picks accordingly before tonight’s 11:59 PM PST deadline. Now…it’s decision time.

St. Pierre vs. Hardy at UFC 111: Who will win?
BG: Georges St. Pierre. You’d have to be a grown retard to think otherwise.
BF: Seeing as how I am not a grown retard, I can’t disagree. Hardy has a tough night ahead of him.
RN: St. Pierre – He has shown himself to be more well-rounded, but Hardy does have the puncher’s chance.

(Lolohea Mahe’s body is eerily similar to what my legal pad looks like during boring conference calls. Photo courtesy of Esther Lin/Strikeforce.)

As a light appetizer to tomorrow’s big show, Strikeforce is having its latest Challengers event tonight at the Save Mart Center in Fresno, California. The main card will be broadcast on Showtime starting at 11:45 p.m. ET/PT. If you don’t subscribe to Showtime, you’re in luck — the network will be available for free this weekend in 54.4 million households as part of their All Access Free Preview Weekend.

So why is tonight’s event worth DVR’ing? Well, you’ve got Hottest Women in MMA honoree Miesha Tate (8-2) taking on undefeated prospect (and former Fresno City College soccer player) Zoila Frausto (5-0) in a 135-pound contest. Jiu-jitsu phenom Andre Galvao (3-1) will try to rebound from his first MMA loss — a split-decision against Jason High at the DREAM Welterweight Grand Prix semi-finals — against Strikeforce veteran Luke Stweart (6-2). And in the main event, Fresno native Lavar Johnson (11-3) will take on Hawaiian heavyweight Lolohea Mahe (3-0-1). It will be Johnson’s first cage-appearance since his 18-second knockout of Carl Seumanutafa last May. In July, Johnson was shot in the abdomen by an unidentified gunman while attending a family barbecue. Four other people were shot during the incident, with one of them dying at the scene. Expect a hero’s welcome from the hometown crowd tonight.

The full lineup and weigh-in results are after the jump. No, not all fighters made their contracted weights, but they all tried, which I think is totally admirable.

(Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.com)

This week’s caption contest brought in over 350 entries — and yet none of them were references to Dr. Manhattan. Crazy. After considering all of your brilliant work, we’ve chosen three winners who will score Five Principles t-shirts from Tokyo Five. But first, some honorable mentions:

Desimus: Here you can see Rogan and Vera playing a game of "Guess where bits of my face will end up!"

Smitty: Yes, to the gentleman in the back…..I wear the speedo to show why I talk like a black man.

Ring_Rust619: "Hey honey, this is how many fights I have left till we have to rely on you winning fights to pay the mortgage"

Phil Bologna: "Strikeforce is that way!!!"

therussianglamourpuss: Brandon Vera and Joe Rogan point to their modesty and objectivity, both of which remained a good distance away.
therussianglamourpuss: Brandon Vera would rather go naked than wear Tapout.
[Ed. note: Great first effort, glamourpuss. Welcome aboard.]

ArmFarmer: I’m not reading 6 pages of this bullshit. I’m just going to assume that like the first page there is about 2 funny comments per page, the rest are unfunny to the point that they are painful to read, and 80% of them have something to do with an auction or a clock.

And now, your grand-prize winners:

(Jake Ellenberger, seen here working for his money like a sucker.)

Those among us who aren’t pro fighters might think that Jake Ellenberger got a pretty sweet deal today. Because Ben Saunders volunteered to step in for Thiago Alves against Jon Fitch on late notice, Ellenberger now doesn’t have to do any work on Saturday night, and yet he still gets paid as if he had fought and won. Seems like a clear-cut ‘Nice, Playa‘ situation if we ever saw one.

But according to what he told Cagewriter, Ellenberger is still a little bummed about training for weeks just to end up a spectator in Newark this weekend:

"I was disappointed. Ben Saunders asked for the fight, Dana liked that, so our fight took a backseat. …It took me by complete surprise."

(Video courtesy of ESPN.com)

You want to know how focused Georges St. Pierre is for his fight with Dan Hardy at UFC 111? Not only is he not even considering the possibility of a life that continues beyond this Saturday night, he hasn’t even bothered to pay attention to the passage of time.  He still thinks it’s January.  God knows what year he might believe we’re living in.  Doesn’t matter.  He’s only thinking about finishing Hardy and making it a "clean" victory.  Whether they’re fighting for gasoline and life credits in some futuristic hellscape, or whether they’ve traveled back to a time when Hardy’s post-fight wounds will be treated by a series of magic spells — the point is, GSP doesn’t care.  All he knows is he’s got a job to do on Saturday, playa.  Wouldn’t want to be Hardy right now, sitting around his hotel room and looking at the calendar like some chump.

After the jump, Frank Mir talks about Brock Lesnar and Shane Carwin (who ESPN lists as 6’5"), and can’t help but get that old smirk on his face when the death threat comments get brought up.

Though it’s been in the works since late last year, a middleweight meeting between Wanderlei Silva (33-10-1, 1 no-contest) and Korean sex-symbol Yoshihiro Akiyama (13-1, 2 no-contests) is finally going to happen at UFC 116 (July 3rd, Las Vegas), according to a new report from Fighters Only. The Axe Murderer has had a rocky road in the Octagon, but he’s 1-0 as a 185-pounder, thanks to his unanimous decision win over Michael Bisping at UFC 110. Akiyama hasn’t competed since his UFC debut at #100, where he scratched out a split-decision win against Alan Belcher. Akiyama hasn’t suffered an official defeat since his second MMA fight back in March 2005, when he was paired up against heavyweight kickboxer Jerome LeBanner and subsequently KTFO’d.

(Careful, Clay. She’s just after the money. / Photo courtesy of the UFC on Versus Afterparty Pics gallery on CombatLifestyle.com)
 
The UFC paid out $913,000 in disclosed salaries and bonuses for last Sunday’s UFC on Versus: Vera vs. Jones show — a hefty total for a free-TV event — with Junior Dos Santos, Cheick Kongo, and Clay Guida cracking the six-figure mark. The numbers are below, courtesy of MMA Junkie. Keep in mind that they don’t include income from sponsorships and undisclosed "locker room bonuses," or deductions for taxes, insurance, licensing fees, and funny hats.

Jon Jones: $90,000 (includes $20,000 win bonus, $50,000 Knockout of the Night bonus)
def. Brandon Vera: $60,000

Junior Dos Santos: $120,000 (includes $35,000 win bonus, $50,000 Knockout of the Night bonus)
def. Gabriel Gonzaga: $67,000

Cheick Kongo: $110,000 (includes $55,000 win bonus)
def. Paul Buentello: $40,000

Alessio Sakara: $42,000 (includes $21,000 win bonus)
def. James Irvin: $20,000

Clay Guida: $100,000 (includes $25,000 win bonus, $50,000 Submission of the Night bonus)
def. Shannon Gugerty: $9,000

(Ben Saunders: 170 pounds of knees, elbows, and unfortunate facial hair.)

With Thiago Alves out of UFC 111 due to brain irregularities, the UFC has tapped Ben Saunders to take on Jon Fitch just two days before the event. This means that Jake Ellenberger, who was originally scheduled to face Saunders as a replacement for the nauseatingly-wounded Martin Kampmann, is now screwed out of the fight he worked his tail off to prepare for. The upside is, he’s reportedly still getting his show and win money, all for doing nothing more than being cool about the whole thing. Looks like the wings and beers at a Newark-area Hooters are on Ellenberger tonight.

So what does this new match-up mean, aside from more changes to our UFC 111 FightPicker? For Saunders, it means a chance to step up in the ranks with a more high-profile victory. TMZ reports that Dana White has said he’ll give Saunders a title shot if he beats Fitch, which seems like a move that would sure piss off Josh Koscheck and Paul Daley with a quickness. Fitch has less to gain with a win over Saunders than with one over Alves, but at least he can call up his AKA teammate Mike Swick to get some scouting info on the lanky striker.

Kudos to the UFC for making lemonade out of this unfortunate batch of irregular lemons. Guess it helps to have a roster of fighters willing to scramble their plans at the last minute to accommodate your wishes.

(And just like that, the dreaded "May not be broadcast" label is wiped clean.)

UFC.com has reacted quickly to the news of Thiago Alves’s removal from the UFC 111 card, and the way things look now it appears as they’ve decided to bump the fight between Kurt Pellegrino and Fabricio Camoes up from the prelims to fill the hole in the pay-per-view broadcast. If you ask us, Ricardo Almeida/Matt Brown might have been a better choice, or even Nate Diaz/Rory Markham, but once again, no one in the UFC front office asked us. That never fails to sting the old pride, either.

The change means that all you FightPicker players are going to want to update your answers to reflect your feelings on who will win the suddenly more important Pellegrino/Camoes showdown. If you don’t it might just cost you that Apple iPad, and wouldn’t that be a shame?

TMZ breaks the awful news…

We heard chatter last night that the UFC was looking for a new opponent for Fitch, but with UFC 111 just two days away, any attempts to find a respectable replacement might be futile. A weird-looking artery in the brain is serious, scary business. Hopefully this is something that can be addressed medically so that Alves doesn’t have to retire when so much of his career was still ahead of him. We’ll update you when we get more details on the Pitbull’s health and when we know which preliminary card match will be promoted to the main card.

(Photos contributed by Serafin Santiago Jr.)

In honor of the UFC throwing a card in Newark this weekend, the UFC hype-train made a big stop in New York City yesterday to hold a public press conference at the legendary Radio City Music Hall. Though the four headlining fighters were supposed to be in attendance taking questions and posing for pictures with fans, Shane Carwin was stuck in Long Island finishing up his medical licensing paperwork. Oddly enough, welterweight champion Georges St. Pierre seemed to get the least love from the raucous mass of NY/NJ fans. They loved Dan Hardy for being an underdog who trains with Matt Serra. They loved Frank Mir for embodying the Jersey Shore juicehead ideal, even though he’s a lifelong Las Vegas resident.* They swung off of Dana White’s nuts, uncomfortably.** If you live in the New York area but can’t make it to UFC 111, Radio City will be hosting a viewing party on Saturday night, featuring appearances by Chuck Liddell, Matt Serra, Stephan Bonnar, and a freakin’ ginormous screen. Some important notes from yesterday’s presser are after the jump…

(Props: MMAFighting.com)

No sooner do we get pumped up about Junior Dos Santos’s suggestion that he take on Cain Velasquez in a heavyweight title contender eliminator match than the idea gets shot down from the man at the top. As much as we hate to admit it, Dana White’s reasoning for refusing to make the fight are sound. The UFC knows as well as anyone that injuries, illnesses, and easy movie roles can wreak havoc on the best laid plans, so why take a chance on knocking down an established contender like Velasquez just to give him something to do while he waits for his title shot? It’s sensible, it’s prudent, and it’s somewhat disappointing. Can’t say we didn’t see it coming, though.

So who will Dos Santos get instead while he waits around for the top heavyweights to fight it out? Well, the guy in the crowd who suggested Cheick Kongo is obviously a sick individual who’s trying to get the Frenchman killed, so let’s table that idea right now. Instead, the loser of Shane Carwin-Frank Mir is a very attractive option, or perhaps even Todd Duffee if he posts a win in his next bout.

Or we could get really crazy and match Dos Santos up against the winner of Roy Nelson-Stefan Struve, meaning we either get a rematch between the Dutch beanpole and the guy who gave him a rude welcome to the UFC, or we get “Big Country” vs. “Big Scary Brazilian.” What, too crazy for you guys?

(Nothing to see here but me yappin’ with Steve Cofield and Dave Farra about how to lose money most efficiently at UFC 111.)

For those of you lucky enough to snag tickets to UFC 111 before they sold out, you get to play an entirely different kind of betting game in Newark, New Jersey on Saturday night. We like to call it, ‘Mugged or Propositioned?’ It’s simple, really. You try and guess whether you will be mugged, or offered drugs and/or the services of a prostitute. Both are bound to happen eventually, but the key is to peg which one will happen first. You don’t win anything if you guess right. That’s why this game sucks.

As usual, the best odds on the internet come to us from BestFightOdds.com:

Georges St. Pierre (-650) vs. Dan Hardy (+638)
Frank Mir (-140) vs. Shane Carwin (+130)
Ben Saunders (-155) vs. Jake Ellenberger (+148)
Jon Fitch (+140) vs. Thiago Alves (-145)
Jim Miller (-332) vs. Mark Bocek (+310)
Nate Diaz (-275) vs. Rory Markham (+250)
Ricardo Almeida (-138) vs. Matt Brown (+135)
Kurt Pellegrino (-165) vs. Fabricio Camoes (+160)
Rodney Wallace (-120) vs. Jared Hamman (-103)
Rousimar Palhares (-237) vs. Tomasz Drwal (+211)
Matthew Riddle (-217) vs. Greg Soto (+190)

The breakdown…

(Video courtesy of Fight Magazine)

Yep, that’s what he said alright.  Right there at the 1:48 mark:

"I’m one of the most dangerous people in the world.  I’m a 280-pound guy who’s been training in martial arts since he was four years old, I don’t go anywhere without a gun and a knife, but I do that for my own self-protection.  I do that because I’m a martial artist and I enjoy being able to protect those who are not able to protect themselves."

Basically what I’m hearing is that Frank Mir is a vigilante, ready to fight the forces of evil that would seek to prey upon the weak journalists of the world.  You know, forces of evil like Brock Lesnar.  I don’t know whether to be creeped out or reassured.  Maybe a little of both.  I do have to wonder though, if he’s got that gun on him all the time, why also carry a knife around?  Is that just in case he encounters a ninety-pound weakling who’s being bullied by a package he can’t get open?

(You can skip through the first 2:45, unless you really can’t get enough of Dana White busting chops and complaining about incompetent employees.)

You have to love these Canadian MMA fans. Dana White goes to a Q&A session in a mall in Toronto (presumably the same one where he admitted that the UFC’s design team had caved to Chinese interests), and their questions are all so…good. Calm, measured, reasonable queries about the state of MMA in Ontario, and what DW has planned for the future.

Perhaps the most interesting answer White gives comes when he’s asked about Jon Jones, whose bandwagon has been filling up ever since his face-breaking win over Brandon Vera. The UFC knows they have a valuable asset with Jonny “Bones,” so they’re giving him a slow road to a title shot. Note, however, at the 3:35 mark, DW starts naming potential future opponents for Jones and the first name out of his mouth is Rashad Evans, who is Jones’s teammate, training partner, and surrogate big brother at Greg Jackson’s squad. I guess we’re still acting like we can just make those guys fight each other, no matter how many times they’ve said they won’t, huh?

My question is, if “Rampage” Jackson, Evans (theoretically, anyway), Lyoto Machida, and “Shogun” Rua are the guys Jones might face after he’s had three more fights over the next year, who’s he supposed to beat up in the meantime? You could make a case for Ryan Bader or maybe even our old friend K-Sos, but more than one or two of those fights and it’s going to start to feel like he’s treading water.

(Momma said there’d be days like this. Photo courtesy of Spike.)

Well, this is never easy, but unfortunately we have to deliver some bad news — the services of TUF 8 veteran Eliot Marshall and Shannon Gugerty will no longer be needed in the Octagon. Though both fighters suffered defeats on the preliminary card of Sunday’s UFC on Versus event, Marshall’s firing is somewhat surprising, since his split-decision loss to Vladimir Matyushenko followed three straight wins over Jules Bruchez, Vinny Magalhaes, and Jason Brilz. But his loss to the Janitor isn’t the first time that Marshall has put in a dull performance, and he could have been released simply because he isn’t exciting enough. Naturally, Marshall isn’t happy about it:

As for Gugerty, his submission loss to Clay Guida was his second straight loss, and dropped his overall UFC record to 2-3. Have Chase Gormley and Paul Buentello somehow escaped this round of layoffs, or will we be hearing about their firings in the near future? Stay tuned.

Speaking of UFC on Versus…

 
During a press conference following DREAM 13, Scott Coker told reporters that Fedor Emelianenko would finally make his Strikeforce return this summer, seven months after his second-round knockout of Brett Rogers: 

Better than nothing, I guess — although it’s still ridiculous that Fedor is fighting another contender, while Strikeforce champion Alistair Overeem is booked for a non-title exhibition against Brett Rogers in May. No other matches have been announced for Strikeforce’s June card yet.

The relationship between Strikeforce and M-1 Global appeared strained in recent weeks, with reports of renegotiations making the rounds. But although the dispute may sound like a money grab, M-1 says that what they’re really after is greater brand visibility. From a report by Dave Meltzer on Yahoo!:

(Now you see some incoherent scrawling, now you don’t.)

Whether you’re putting together a fight poster or the cover of Teen Vogue, airbrushing is just something you do.  I mean, you didn’t think Georges St. Pierre‘s cheekbones were really that breathtaking, did you?  But UFC 111 is the first time in recent memory that a fighter’s tattoos have been airbrushed out.  Above you see one version of the UFC 111 poster featuring Dan Hardy‘s Sanskrit tattoo of a Tibetan Buddhist prayer, and another version with his stomach looking as clean as the belly of a starless Sneetch.  So what gives?

According to what Dana White told fans at a Q&A session in Toronto today, it’s because he doesn’t want any trouble with the Chinese government, which, if you hadn’t heard, is kind of sensitive to anything having to do with Tibet.  As White explained:

"I’m trying to get into China. I don’t need anti-Chinese government stuff on my fighters."

In the March issue of Fight Magazine, Hardy explains that the tattoo — which reads "Om mani padme hum," and supposedly means, "Hail the jewel in the lotus" — serves two purposes.

(Sorry, Duane. Looks like a pre-existing condition to me.)

Now that we’ve all seen this horrific picture of Duane “Bang” Ludwig’s ankle doing something it is not made to do during his fight with Darren Elkins at the UFC on Versus event, let’s all take a second to say, ‘Daaaaaamn!’ After that we can dry heave a little and move on to the actual reason why we’re revisiting this moment of forced empathy. According to MMA Weekly (and common sense), Ludwig is going to be out of action a little while. As you might have already guessed, that thing is going to require surgery, at which point doctors will reportedly put three pins in that mangled ankle, removing one once it’s suitably healed up, and leaving the other two in there permanently to act as embedded foreign objects with which to pummel future opponents.

The weird thing is, he’s projected to return in as little as six months, though Ludwig insists he’ll “be back before everybody expects.”

Let us be the first to say, take your time, Duane. This isn’t Texas high school football. No one is going to think you’re a pussy if you don’t tape it up and jump right back in there. We admire your fierce determination, but until you can stand to hear the sound of someone snapping a celery stick in half without flinching, you don’t want to be jumping back in that Octagon.  Let’s not forget the cautionary tale of Jose "Pele" Landi-Jons.

(Props: MMA Payout) 

Last week, CBS started airing TV spots like this one during the NCAA men’s basketball tournament to promote Strikeforce: Nashville. While it’s good that they’re getting some visibility among sports fans, the ads themselves leave a little to be desired. Let’s break it down:

— Does the ad look like it was filmed in one location in less than a half-hour? Check.

— Is Dan Henderson introduced as "one of the most decorated fighters in MMA history," while Jake Shields is simply introduced as "Jake Shields"? That’s a bingo.

— Are cheesy sound effects added when the fighters are hitting the heavy bag? Indeed.

— Does the swooping edit of Dan Henderson entering the frame at 0:12 make you laugh? LOL, yes.

— Is Dan’s delivery of "I’m comin’ for that belt" strangely passionless? Unfortunately so.

— Are the other two title fights on the card mentioned anywhere? Nah, son.

— Does it end with a Chad Kroeger-esque singer going "yeaaaaaah"? Man, does it ever.

(Photo courtesy of MMAFighting.com.)

After his first-round TKO of Gabriel Gonzaga on Sunday, Junior Dos Santos boldly announced that he was ready for a title shot. But there are some timing-related realities he has to deal with: The interim title fight between Frank Mir and Shane Carwin, Brock Lesnar‘s return this summer (hopefully), and Cain Velasquez‘s equally high standing in the heavyweight pecking order. So instead of pleading for a title shot, Dos Santos is angling for the next best thing:

Well, we’re already sold. Not only would Dos Santos vs. Velasquez establish a legitimate title contender after the Mir/Carwin winner fights Brock Lesnar, there’s already a "you killed my master" storyline in place, considering that Velasquez is fresh off his drubbing of JDS’s mentor, Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira. Though to hear Dos Santos tell it, payback is not what he’s after:

(SPOILER ALERT: At some point in the fight Guida comes charging in with his mane of hair flowing wildly about him. Photo courtesy of UFC.com)

Those of you who were bummed about not seeing your favorite RV-dwelling lightweight on the Versus broadcast of Sunday’s UFC event can now turn those frowns back into smug grimaces, because Spike TV has you covered. The cable network sent out an email this morning to let us all know that on Wednesday night they’ll be showing the Clay Guida-Shannon Gugerty and Brendan Schaub-Chase Gormley bouts from ‘UFC Live,’ as well as two other previously unaired fights (Dennis Siver-Paul Kelly from UFC 105, and Jeremy Stephens-Justin Buchholz from Fight Night 19).

The plan is to air this special episode of “UFC Unleashed” at 9 pm EST as a lead-in to the final installment of “UFC Primetime.” At the risk of lavishing too much praise on the same people who are behind “Blue Mountain State,” we’re going to go ahead and call this move a brilliant one for all parties involved.

(Anthony Johnson mugs for the camera, seemingly unaware that he’s about to lose the last member of his entourage to a sausage that has fallen on the ground.)

You didn’t think Anthony Johnson was just going to let his hated rival, John Howard, enjoy a sweet knockout victory at ‘UFC Live’ on Sunday, did you? Naw, playa. The first rule of an MMA rivalry is that you find a way to denigrate any and all of the other guy’s accomplishments. The second rule? See if you can’t find some clever way to mock his nickname. “Rumble” has at least one of those bases covered in a recent talk with FightHype.com, where he managed to make Howard’s brain-rattling knockout of Daniel Roberts seem like a narrow escape:

"Howard ain’t got no stand-up at all. He’s lucky Roberts wasn’t stronger or he probably would have gotten submitted. …Howard is soft; he doesn’t belong in the UFC. I will be glad to show him this if he’s my next opponent. But congratulations on your win. If you fight me like that, you won’t survive. You better work on that stand-up buddy!"

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

Good news: The Danavlog is back, baby. Bad news: It might be the worst one yet. Ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourself for a full seven minutes of Dana White busting the balls of Marty Cordova, who forgot his passport on the way to Canada. Seriously, the whole thing takes place in the cabin of their private jet, and that’s all that happens. Luckily, we can hit the pause button as soon as the bullying insult-routine becomes too grating; unfortunately, Dana’s employees can’t hit pause on their own lives. One of these days, Marty or that "Morzo" guy behind him is going to snap and tell Dana to go fuck himself, and Dana is going to be dumbfounded, and Lorenzo Fertitta will be cracking up, and through his laughter Lorenzo will ask Dana if he’s going to take that from an employee, and Dana will take his shock pen and shock Marty (or whoever) to death, and then he and Lorenzo will have to bury the body somewhere, and at that moment Lorenzo will realize that Dana can’t be controlled, even if he’s just a minority owner on paper, and no that’s not a subplot from Goodfellas, that’s a completely original scenario that I just made up, so suck it.

Semi-related: After a brief period of reconciliation, the UFC has indefinitely denied press credentials to Dana’s old rival, Sherdog.com. When asked by Josh Gross to explain the reason for the re-ban, Dana White responded, "none of your [expletive] business." 

Yesterday, we posted a GIF of Jon Jones slugging the shit out of an escort during his cage-entrance at Sunday’s UFC on Versus show. Turns out it was a rough night for the security staff overall. As caposa points out, two more non-combatants got assaulted during Brandon Vera‘s entrance, this time by fans. Poor guys. They should get safety goggles. And headgear. And tazers to shock the shit out of those drunk D-bags.

The UFC’s first event on Versus was a good night for those of you MMA FightPickers who like to play it safe. Favorites ruled the day and underdogs went down hard, meaning that the crazy riverboat gamblers among you probably took a much-deserved beating. As for our own petty rivalry, it was my (BF) night from start to finish. While BG scored a respectable 250 points, he didn’t come close to my 12 for 12 Perfecta, which earned me 400 points and landed me tied for first in our pool, right alongside some joker named Felix Apslund. Better luck next time, Goldstein. I totally don’t mean that.

As for other big winners, Aaron Rampey maintains his overall lead with 1,969 Potato Chips and 26 pool victories, but Me is on his tail (kind of) with 1,370 Chips and 18 pools won. Rounding out the top five pool winners overall are Ryan Johnson in the third spot, surf_finland in fourth, and herbaliser in fifth.

Ricky Broomstick (God, I hope that’s his real name) and Stephen Waggoner (I don’t care whether that’s his real name) were our two big prize pool winners this weekend, which means they’ll both be getting that sweet $200 prize package from MMA Warehouse.

That’s cool and all, but let’s look toward the future. UFC 111 is this Saturday, and what with it being a big event and all we thought we’d match it with an appropriately big prize. So we went out and got a couple of Apple iPad’s for you chumps. Look at us all cutting edge over here. The question now is, who’s got the stones to come and claim these bad boys in one of our two prize pools?

Check this week’s questions after the jump.

(Something about landing a knee to the body of a downed opponent only whets Kongo’s appetite for some shots to the head. Photo courtesy of UFC.com)

When it comes to highlighting some of MMA’s officiating gray areas, last night’s Cheick Kongo-Paul Buentello bout at ‘UFC Live’ was a fight that very nearly had it all. From minor infractions like grabbing the fence or hitting the back of the head, to big ones like illegal knees and impromptu injury timeouts, it was a showcase of things that need to change – or at least be clarified – in the MMA rulebook. Let’s take it one issue at a time, shall we?

(If you’d like to follow along and don’t have this bad boy DVR’d, you might try looking here.)

Round 1, 3:37: Buentello gets a little help from the fence

Yeah, it’s minor, but it’s illegal. In attempting to get up from a takedown, Buentello grips the fence and pulls himself up. This earns him a verbal warning from referee Herb Dean, but it serves its purpose. He’s off his butt and en route to standing up. Just goes to show you that sometimes a fence grab will cost you a point, and other times it just gets you admonished by the ref. Same with grabbing the shorts, which also happens several times throughout this fight.

Round 1, 1:48: Buentello has a finger problem

If you watched that video of Bas Rutten beating up an entire cooking show, you may have thought to yourself, "My, I wish I had that handsome white t-shirt with the devil’s face and strange words at the top." (Come on, at least one of you must have thought that.) The shirt in question is known as the "Five Principles", one of the standout designs from Tokyo Five, an apparel company that specializes in jeans as well as custom tees for MMA fighters like Matt Serra and Gabriel Gonzaga. T5 was cool enough to hook us up with a few of those Five Principles shirts, which we’re going to give away to you, our beloved readers. Well, maybe not give away; you’ll have to work for them. Specifically, you’ll have to come up with hilarious captions to the photo after the jump…

Props: caposa. More after the jump…