Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

March, 2010

Rousimar Palhares’s History of Assholishness Contributed to UFC 111 Suspension

(Rousimar Palhares vs. Helio Dipp, 3/10/07. Dipp passes out at 2:06. Palhares lets go at 2:10. Despite the peppy soundtrack, nobody appears to be very happy about it.)

If you’re a UFC fighter who competes every four months, a 90-day suspension is a fairly empty gesture. Still, we have to give some props to the New Jersey State Athletic Control Board for making it officially known that holding onto a submission after the referee has stopped the fight is, at the very least, frowned upon. So why did they decide to make an example out of Rousimar Palhares, following his heel hook of Tomasz Drwal at UFC 111? Turns out, holding onto subs well past the point of necessity is a bad habit for "Toquinho":

“When a referee’s in there pulling three times and the other fighter’s tapping…I think everybody knows, regardless of language issues or anything, at that point the referee’s trying to stop the fight,” [NJSACB counsel Nick] Lembo told on Monday…"A referee should not have to use that much force to release a heel (hook)," Lembo wrote…
Lembo said Palhares’ past adherence to [holding submissions to eliminate any dispute that the other fighter tapped] is part of what led to his decision. He reviewed Palhares’ submissions of Helio Dipp and Flavio Luiz Moura in Brazil in 2007 before Saturday’s fight and thought those holds were held too long as well.  “If you watch those two fights, that concerned me,” Lembo said. “He’s very, very slow after the referee physically intervenes, as in this case. I think Palhares in an outstanding fighter with an outstanding future. Maybe this will send a message that his camp can discuss this with him and maybe alter it a little bit.”

Gambling Addiction Enabler: UFC Fight Night 21

(Welcome to Kenny Florian’s den of debauchery. Enter with an open mind, and leave your innocence at the door. Photo courtesy of Combat Lifestyle.)

After a successful weekend that saw your old pal the Enabler totally nail his official parlay pick, it’s time to reload for Wednesday’s “Florian vs. Gomi” Fight Night event live from the (not really) historic Bojangles Coliseum in Charlotte, North Carolina. Let’s look at some lines, courtesy of

Kenny Florian (-275) vs. Takanori Gomi (+275)
Roy Nelson (-290) vs. Stefan Struve (+270)
Ross Pearson (-200) vs. Dennis Siver (+183)
Nate Quarry (-245) vs. Jorge Rivera (+220)
Andre Winner (-169) vs. Rafaello Oliveira (+150)
Jacob Volkmann (+220) vs. Ronnys Torres (-231)
Rob Emerson (+113) vs. Nik Lentz (-140)
Caol Uno (+251) vs. Gleison Tibau (-265)
Yushin Okami (-500) vs. Lucio Linhares (+450)
Gerald Harris (-155) vs. Mario Miranda (+130)
Charlie Brenneman (+150) vs. Jason High (-180)

The breakdown…


Video: Kim Couture Fought in Mexico This Weekend, And Yeah, Lucha Libre Masks Were Involved

You probably didn’t notice because you were too busy being distracted by the bright lights of UFC 111, but there was another massive MMA event on Saturday, only this one was south of the border. Kim “Sugar Free” Couture – the woman known primarily for being briefly married to a famous MMA fighter, as well as for being hated intensely by many female fighters who made their way up the ranks without appropriating someone else’s famous name or building unintentionally hilarious websites – traveled down to Sonora, Mexico to compete in the Xtreme Fighters Mexico event.

On her Twitter, Couture wrote that her initial opponent “quit” at the last minute and was replaced by Rosa Vizcarra, who weighed ten pounds over the 135-pound limit that Couture had agreed to, but what are you going to do? It’s Mexico, after all. Couture also described being part of a pre-fight parade through the streets of Sonora, and after seeing Kevin Randleman (who ended up in her corner for the fight) sitting on top of a Corona bus waving to the crowd, declared, “This is the Biggest Event Ever!”

It’s possible she got swept up in the moment there and forget that you could probably hire Randleman to make a promotional appearance at a house party for a couple hundred bucks and all the wings he can eat.


Shane Carwin Wasn’t Exactly 100% on Saturday

Shane Carwin UFC 111
(Photo courtesy of

Funny thing about health problems — when you talk about them after a loss, you sound like a bitch, but when you talk about them after a win, you sound like a champion. In a new post on his website, Shane Carwin revealed what was actually going on when he no-showed the Radio City Music Hall press conference last Wednesday:

The week leading into this fight was hectic. I was unable to get cleared based on the medical records I submitted so I spend a good part of one of the media days in Dr’s offices. I was able to pass the MRI/MRA that was initially in question but the doctors located a new problem. Apparently there was concern that one of the vessels in my brain looked as if it was connected on one end but not the other, the Dr. told me it could be that or could be a vessel that was widening or ballooning but they could not really tell and needed a better test.* It sounded serious and I wanted to fight so I agreed to the test, which involved CT Angiography (CTA). They had to set up an IV and inject a contrast material in me (containing iodine) and named off some possible side effects, this was all fine, but not when you are less then a couple of days out from a fight. The dye made me pretty sick for about the next 24 hours. I was thankful they were being so thorough but it could not have come at a worse time.

The UFC’s Increasingly Vocal Attempts to Make Teammates Fight: Awesome or Not Awesome?

(Fitch’s ‘post-decision sneer’ gets better every time. Photo courtesy of

The back-and-forth between Dana White and Jon Fitch at the UFC 111 post-fight presser this weekend was the latest in a string of passive-aggressive attempts by the UFC president to promote a fight between two teammates. By suggesting that Fitch doesn’t really want a title fight badly enough, or by casually mentioning Rashad Evans as a potential future opponent for fellow Jackson camp fighter Jon Jones, White is refusing to let the topic die. Maybe you can’t put a price on friendship, but DW would sure like to find a figure that would make these guys put it on hold for fifteen minutes or so.

And so today we ask the question, is making teammates fight each other in MMA an idea that is awesome or not awesome?


UFC 115 May Be Headed to Cincinnati Instead of Vancouver

(And he was really looking forward to shoving a foreign currency into the G-string of a foreign stripper.)

Plans to hold UFC 115 in Vancouver may have been thwarted, according to a report by the Canadian Press, and instead the UFC may be heading to Cincinnati in June. The report states that though the UFC has been pushing hard to get Vancouver to be more open-minded about their particular brand of unarmed combat, “the deal fell through because the UFC and the city could not reach an agreement on other details around the show.”

So help us, if this is about footstomps again, we’re going to lose it.

If the report is true and the UFC really is abandoning the dream of Vancouver for the gritty, oil-stained reality of Cincinnati, we have no choice but to revisit the rumor that Rich Franklinnot Tito Ortiz – will face Chuck Liddell at UFC 115. Dana White swears it isn’t true, and we all know that DW is not the type of man who would ever tell a convenient lie to help his business. Yet now the event that is supposed to feature the showdown between the two TUF coaches may be headed for Ace’s hometown. Seems just a tad bit suspicious, no?


MMA Video Hype: UFC 112 + WEC 48


Hey guys, who wants to see a classic striker vs. grappler battle? The extended preview for UFC 112 (April 10th, Abu Dhabi) tries to sell us on the idea that Demian Maia‘s nasty jits poses an undeniable threat to Anderson Silva. Not that Maia’s grappling ability is exaggerated, but if Nate Marquardt can send Maia into orbit before the fight gets to the ground, Anderson certainly can as well. Speaking of outmatched challengers, UFC 112 also features Frankie Edgar‘s first title fight against lightweight living legend BJ Penn. Joe Rogan shouts out Edgar’s speed, intelligence and wrestling ability and says he presents "a very unique challenge to BJ Penn." But does he have any real advantages? Keep in mind that Penn hasn’t been taken down by a lightweight since Takanori Gomi, six and a half years ago. At least the third fight on the card isn’t a squash match: Renzo Gracie vows to do to Matt Hughes what Matt did to his cousin Royce in 2006. Which old master still has what it takes to compete in the year 2010?

After the jump: Dana and Joe put in some overtime to hype the lightweight title rematch between Benson Henderson and Donald Cerrone, which goes down April 24th at WEC 48: Aldo vs. Faber.


Thiago Alves Is Probably Okay for Now

Now that the dust has settled on UFC 111, we can finally ask ourselves, "So is Thiago Alves dying or what?" The welterweight contender gave us quite a scare on Thursday when he was forced to pull out of his match against Jon Fitch due to an "irregularity in his brain," which was spotted by a pre-fight CAT Scan. The condition was reported as potentially career-ending, but luckily that doesn’t seem to be that case. Alves will undergo a minor outpatient surgery this Wednesday to address the issue, and hopes to make his return to the Octagon in May, if not sooner. Dana White confirmed the improved prognosis, telling TMZ, "He’ll be back…it’s all good."

After the jump: In celebration of Alves’s eventual return, check out this video of the Pitbull at his best.


The Potato Index: UFC 111 Aftermath

(That about sums it up. Props: MMA TKO)

With so much MMA action packed into so few days, the Potato Index supercomputer is a bit overworked. It’s even been making a weird whirring sound lately. It sounded like it was overheating late last night, so we poured a bucket of water on it. Haven’t heard the whirring sound since. And to think there are some idiots out there who actually throw money away on an IT staff.

Let’s see who’s up, who’s down, and by how much after UFC 111.

Georges St. Pierre +137
A successful title defense in which he wins every single round, takes virtually no damage, and nearly snaps his opponent’s arm? Sorry, but even without a finish, we can’t find anything to complain about.

Dan Hardy -18
As far as offense, he had nothing for GSP. We expected that. What we didn’t expect is that he’d prove so difficult to put away. The kid has guts, even if he doesn’t have much of a takedown defense.


Video: Ryan Couture Takes a Nap, Fights On to a Draw at Tuff-N-Uff

(Props: Cagewriter)

Ryan Couture (whose dad is this guy you may have heard of) fought for the Tuff-N-Uff 155-pound amateur title in Las Vegas over the weekend, and in a bizarre turn of events he managed to get briefly put to sleep and yet still come back to finish the fight.  Couture took on Eddie Bravo student Sean Bollinger, and while the Xtreme Couture fighter was getting the better of the stand-up for most of the fight, he found himself entangled in Bollinger’s rubber guard on several occasions. 

The most dangerous of those encounters came at the end of the second round, when Couture found himself locked in a triangle choke as the clock ticked down.  Watch closely at the 5:55 mark as Couture’s arms go limp just after the bell rings to signal the end of the round.  Bollinger sees him sleeping on the mat and jumps up to celebrate, thinking it’s all over, but Couture quickly comes to and the ref helps him into his corner to prepare for the final round.

The fight ended in a draw after the third, but we have to admit, it may have been one of the most exciting and technical amateur fights we’ve ever seen.  Couture is now expected to turn pro, and a rematch with Bollinger is probably in his future.  With five-minute rounds instead of three, using the round-ending bell as an alarm clock may not be such a great strategy.

Ryan Couture’s MMA Debut: "Game Over! Tap, You Bitch!"
Ryan Couture vs. Jimmy Spicuzza