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15 Moments of Instant Regret [GIFs]

July, 2010

You Gotta Be Sh*ttin’ Me Alert: Brains Behind ‘Felony Fights’ Set to Launch ‘Cage vs. Cons’


(*… sigh … * VideoProps: Baller Status.com … we guess)

Seriously you guys, how many patently bad ideas can the mixed martial arts industry possibly support before it collapses inward on itself like a dying star? Answer: At least one more.

Props to the boys at MiddleEasy.com for pulling our coat to this thing, which frankly sounds like the worst proposal since Nick Cannon married Mariah Carey. It seems a couple of impresarios previously responsible for a video series called “Felony Fights” – which reportedly pits recently released prisoners against each other in what we can only imagine are incredibly gripping no rules fights – are bringing their singular promotional talents to MMA with an event called “Cage vs. Cons,”  … and yeah, it’s exactly what you think it is: Professional MMA fighters battling ex-cons inside the cage.

No, we’re not making this up.

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Famous Last Words: Toney More Worried About Potential Murder Charges Than Couture’s Takedowns


(Letting James Toney wear four-ounce gloves? Sounds like contrapment to me. PicProps: SBNation)

We’re not sure if this meets the legal burden for proving premeditation, but boxing champion James Toney says he’s liable to kill (yes, literally kill) Randy Couture next month at UFC 118 if he hits him while wearing MMA gloves. Oh, and as for Couture’s takedown prowess? Lights Out’s not even sweating it.

“Everybody asks ‘How are you going to defend the takedown?’ I’m not worried about that. How are you going to defend these punches?” Toney told MMA Weekly in an interview published on Saturday. “I’m going from 10-ounce gloves to four-ounce gloves. If I hit someone with four-ounce gloves, oh my goodness, me and my crew might go to jail for homicide.”

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Jones Didn’t Appreciate Reports He Turned Down Lil Nog Fight … Even Though He Totally Would Have


(Go ahead, write untruths about this man. See what happens …)

Almost by definition, the media conference calls that fight companies stage before major events are pretty tedious affairs. On rare occasions, the stars align and they can turn into total shitshows where something interesting actually happens, but usually you just end up sitting on the phone for 45 minutes while different writers ask the same questions over and over and the athletes repeatedly mumble the same prepared responses.

Unfortunately, last week’s reporter cattle call for Sunday’s UFC Live on Versus event was no different. In fact, it was perhaps even more monotonous after first being interrupted by a fire alarm at the conference center (seriously) and then when Jon Jones and Vladimir Matyushenko spent the whole time trying to out nice-guy each other. The only halfway illuminating or unexpected exchange occurred nearly 35 minutes in, when a reporter from Fox Twin Cities-Minneapolis asked Jones about reports a couple months back that he had balked at the chance to fight Antonio Rogerio Nogueira at UFC 114.

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Friday Link Dump


(Video courtesy YouTube/ClassyHands)

- GSP training with Roger Gracie in England (tatame)

– 4 hoax websites people fell for. (holytaco)

– Phil Baroni pours his heart out about his recent injury and his career (mmafighting)

- Fight lawyer’s take on Zuffa-Bellator/Pavia lawsuit (fightlawyer)

- Despite his targeted December return, Dana White won’t let Shogun fight until spring (Cagewriter)

– How to tell if a girl’s good in bed. (mademan)

- Randy Couture would fight Cro Cop in a heartbeat (fightersonly)

- Dan Hardy talks hate for Koscheck and Daley’s dumb move at UFC 113 (fight!)

- 7 grooming habits that can kill you (modernman)

– MC Hammer starts MMA firm (mmaweekly)

– Stallone pondering Rambo prequel. (screenjunkies)

– Ben Rothwell out nine months with torn ACL. (fiveouncesofpain)

- Annoying San Diego weather girl interviews Matyushenko and Hardonk (fox5)

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Videos: Meet the Main Card Fighters of UFC Live on Versus ‘Jones vs. Matyushenko’


(Video courtesy YouTube/SemtexRumble617)

If you’re unsure whether or not Sunday Night’s UFC Live on Versus: Jones vs. Matyushenko is worth tuning into,  here’s some food for thought:

A) It’s free. Even if the card turns into a boring cuddlefest (which is highly unlikely considering the amount of firepower on the card) what else do you have to do on a Sunday night? If you answered "Watch Desperate Housewives," you may as well hand in your CP membership now and just walk away slowly and forget we ever had this imaginary online conversation. Seriously, that’s probably your best solution.

B) A few contenders could secure their places in line for a title shot in the near future. Jon Jones is obviously on the trajectory to a shot as early as next year and UFC president Dana White revealed on ESPN’s Inside MMA that it’s about time Yushin Okami had his day in the sun, whether it be a rematch with Anderson Silva or with former opponent-turned training partner Chael Sonnen.

C) The main card is more stacked than it might appear to the casual fan. You have a former IFL champ in Matyushenko, a former PRIDE champ in Gomi, a pair of knockout artists in Howard and Ellenberger and a handful of potential title contenders. What more can the UFC do to entertain you?

If you’re still on the fence, check out these videos that feature the fighters on the main card of Sunday’s show and you’ll likely change your mind.

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Reminder: ‘Jones vs. Matyushenko’ Live Updates, This Sunday Starting at 9 p.m. ET / 6 p.m. PT


(More pre-fight hype from the main eventers. Matyushenko doesn’t mind being the underdog, and vows to give Jones hell every second of the fight. Bones wants to be something that Vlad’s never seen before. Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

If you don’t have Versus, I feel bad for you son. The UFC returns to the cable sports network this Sunday with UFC Live: Jones vs. Matyushenko, and we’ll be providing round-by-round updates starting at 9 p.m. ET / 6 p.m. PT. So swing by and let us know you care. After the jump: Yushin Okami says he wants to prove he’s close to a title shot by beating Mark Munoz.

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Joe Warren vs. Joe Soto Featherweight Title Fight Slated for Bellator 27 in San Antonio; Season 3 Shaping Up


(In case you forgot who Joe Soto is, here’s his beatdown of Yahir Reyes from the featherweight finals at Bellator 10.)

Not counting their impending battle in a court of law, Bellator’s third season will be packed with compelling matchups. The tournament-based fight club announced today that season 2 featherweight winner Joe Warren will challenge for Joe Soto‘s belt at Bellator 27 (September 2nd at the Majestic Theatre in San Antonio). Soto ran through Bellator’s inaugural 145-pound tourney last year, and most recently scored a TKO over Diego Saraiva in a non-title bout at Bellator 19, bringing his unblemished record to 9-0.

For its upcoming season, Bellator is focusing on big men, tiny women, and exiled UFC talent. Here’s a rundown of the notable matches that have been reportedly booked so far…

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CagePotato Comments of the Week: Blockhead Chuck, Boring Jake

Chuck Liddell vinyl toy UFC art painting
Chuck Liddell vinyl toy UFC art painting Rooster choking ape MMA art

We feel just awful that we don’t do this every week, but you guys deserve some CagePotato t-shirts for all the hard work you’ve been putting in lately. The first honoree is Brooklyn-based artist Patrick Francisco, who e-mailed us some MMA-themed highlights from his body of work, including the above interpretation of Chuck Liddell painted onto a vinyl toy. We thought it was worth sharing, so thanks Patrick.

As for the rest of the winners, we’ll just pick a few of the recent comments about how boring Jake Shields is. (Ed. Note: CagePotato.com doesn’t necessarily agree that Jake Shields is a boring fighter, but we can appreciate a good one-liner.) Here we go…

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Zuffa Sues Agent Ken Pavia and Bellator Over ‘Theft of Trade Secrets’

Ken Pavia puppy MMA agent
(The little guy may look sweet, but he bit a toddler’s face at a birthday party later that day. Wasn’t the first time that Pavia’s done that, either.)

Prominent MMA agent Ken Pavia — whose client roster includes such well-known fighters as Martin Kampmann, Chris Lytle, Anthony Johnson, and Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos — is in serious hot water with the UFC. As first reported by Yahoo!’s Kevin Iole, Zuffa LLC has filed a suit alleging that Pavia passed along trade secrets and confidential Zuffa documents to upstart MMA promotion Bellator, which used the documents to help run its business. Bellator is named as a co-defendent in the suit, as well as other unnamed individuals and corporations that Zuffa alleges participated in breach of contract. From the Yahoo! piece:

According to the suit, filed Wednesday in Clark County District Court, Pavia delivered confidential contracts, including fighter agreements, to Bellator after being asked to do so in a July 4 email to him from Bellator founder Bjorn Rebney

An email which Zuffa’s lawsuit alleges is from Rebney to Pavia on July 4 was attached as an exhibit to the 16-page suit. In it, Rebney writes, ” … You’ve been great about sending us ‘All’ of the seminal docs from the UFC, so that we can re-do them and implement them for Bellator.”

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What Do You Have Planned for This Morning? Listening to The Bum Rush Episode 4, That’s What


(Stay Gomi, Ponyboy. Stay Gomi.)

Well Potato Nation, it’s the Friday before a major MMA event, and as such, we put together another episode of The Bum Rush to keep your cynical and demanding asses entertained for an hour and change whilst you whittle away the remaining hours of the work week.

In this episode, we welcome Cage Potato contributor Dallas Winston to our round table discussion and speak with Internet sensation and undefeated UFC newcomer, Sean "The Big Deal" McCorkle (feel free to use that nickname, Sean) who takes on former PRIDE star Mark Hunt at UFC 119 September 25 in his home state of Indiana.

As always on the show, Ben and Mike give their takes on the week’s hot news stories and dissect the upcoming fight cards by consulting their Ouija boards and magic 8-balls to help make their fight predictions.

Check out the show and post your feedback and questions for future editions of The Bum Rush Mail Bag.

Download Here
Listen Here


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