("You see these? I’m gonna beat you without even hitting you with them. THAT’S how good I am.")

If we’ve learned anything in the past couple years, it’s not to believe fighters when they say, "If I                , I will retire." 

Maybe we need to institute another Cage Potato ban.

According to Maximum Fighting Championship lightweight champion Antonio McKee, his claim is different than those of guys like CroCop, Kurt Pellegrino, Quinton Jackson, Juanito Ibarra (I know he’s not a fighter, but I’m still pissed off that he welched on his retirement) and Georges St-Pierre as he claims he’s serious when he says he will walk away from the sport if his September 10 MFC 26 bout in Brandon, Manitoba with Luciano Azevedo goes to the judges’ scorecards.

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

Things didn’t go so hot last time for your old buddy the Gambling Addiction Enabler. Sometimes you ride the bull, and sometimes the bull knocks two of your teeth out on a Russian game show. That’s life. But even if you never take our betting advice again, you owe it to yourselves to at least check out the odds for Sunday’s UFC Live: Jones vs. Matyushenko show, because whoever set the lines for the preliminary card must have been high on cheese. As always, the opportunity for profit is there, if you’re a little smart and very lucky. BestFightOdds.com with the numbers…

MAIN CARD
Jon Jones (-505) vs. Vladimir Matyushenko (+450)
Yushin Okami (-185) vs. Mark Munoz (+180)
Jake Ellenberger (-155) vs. John Howard (+145)
Tyson Griffin (-275) vs. Takanori Gomi (+260)

PRELIMINARY CARD
Jacob Volkman (-116) vs. Paul Kelly (+115)
Matt Riddle (-150) vs. DaMarques Johnson (+185)
James Irvin (-160) vs. Igor Pokrajac (+155)
Mike Massenzio (-150) vs. Brian Stann (+140)
Charles Oliveira (-300) vs. Darren Elkins (+300)
Rob Kimmons (-215) vs. Steve Steinbeiss (+175)

Let’s go to work…

20 years from now when Nick Diaz’s MMA career is over and he is holed up in his mom’s house, video blogging about weed, his past glory and cold fission, don’t say you didn’t see it coming.

In this very Dan Quinn-esque video response to Jason Miller’s recent remarks to Joe Rogan about him on the UFC analyst’s Ustream webcast, Diaz goes off on Mayhem for criticizing his ganster lifestyle and for accusing him for starting the Strikeforce brawl.

(BJ painting a masterpiece in his preferred medium)

Looking around at the walls of my office, I’m reminded of a cold, hard reality: Most MMA artwork sucks.

That’s why I’m staring right now at a few framed MMA magazine covers and some vintage boxing posters, but no drawings or paintings of anything MMA-related. There just isn’t a hell of a lot cool stuff out there.

(As fighter highlight-reels go, this one’s pretty awful. But how ’bout that flying knee KO at 2:44?)

Rejoice! The UFC returns from its four-week hiatus this coming Sunday, when UFC Live: Jones vs. Matyushenko goes down at the San Diego Sports Arena. (Versus, 9 p.m. ET / 6 p.m. PT) The only newcomer on the card is Brazilian prospect Charles Oliveira, who will be putting his undefeated record on the line against Darren Elkins — who won his own UFC debut in March when Duane Ludwig’s ankle exploded. Does Charles have what it takes to make it in the big leagues? Get to know him below and let us know what you think…

CHARLES OLIVEIRA (LW)
Experience: 12-0 record (6 KO/TKOs, 5 submissions), primarily in Brazilian promotions. Last competed in a four-man tournament at a Warriors Challenge event in February, where he defeated Rosenildo Rocha by rear-naked choke and Diego Bataglia by slam-knockout. It was the third multi-fight tourney that Oliveira has won during his career. He made his pro debut in March 2008, sweeping an eight-man tournament at a Predador FC event, then cruised through a four man bracket later that year at Korea Fight 1. So fighting just one guy in a night is like a day off for him.

Will be facing: Darren Elkins (12-1, 1-0 UFC)

(Props: dragonman34)

"UFC made the decision. I was bummed. I love Matt, I think he’s an awesome athlete, I think he’s an awesome person, but his time’s not now. You won’t see any shit-talking from me about Matt Hamill because I think he’s an awesome guy. But it’ll even make it a better fight when it comes October 23rd, when I cave his face in. No bad feelings. No bad emotions. Just punishment, and that’s what it’s about. So, we’ll see. October 23rd. As I look to beat down Matt Hamill. In a nice way. For once."

So says Tito Ortiz, after signing the contract to face his former pupil Matt Hamill at UFC 121. As he explains, his past dealings with Chuck Liddell taught him that business and competition should always come before friendship. But is the world ready for a trash-talk-free Tito? The oddsmakers currently have him as a solid +145 underdog in this match, which feels about right. As Ortiz has gone 0-3-1 since December 2006, he may need to score an upset to keep his job…

(What’s the best way to say "I’m sorry" to a guy who kicks people in the head for a living? PicProps: UFC.com)

Full disclosure time, PotatoNation. In the immediate aftermath of UFC 115, the asshole Weekend Editor of this website (that would be me) wrote a piece criticizing Pat Barry for doing too much grippin’-and-grinnin’ in the Octagon during his submission loss to Mirko Cro Cop. Now that new shit has come to light – including but not limited to an insightful interview with Old Dad published Sunday over on MMAFighting.com – I’d like to say: Damn, playa. My bad.

Turns out, after breaking both his right hand and right foot during the first round, Barry was coping with excruciating pain and what he himself describes as “complete, oh-shit-I-don’t-know-what-to-do panic” for the remainder of the bout.  Viewed with the benefit of that information, Barry’s performance seems not tentative and awe-struck as I first implied, but actually extremely courageous. So yeah, sorry about that stuff I said earlier, Pat.

(Harnessing the power of local television. In the history of real estate, that strategy has never been beaten.  VidProps: YouTube/Eluted)

Chael Sonnen took time out of his extremely busy schedule of lying about his Internet activities, letter writing, quitting on the Oregon Republican Party and acting pissy on television to sit down with the Houston Chronicle over the weekend. You know what that means: Set your watches to Crazy Time, kids. What pearls of wisdom did the multitalented middleweight drop on our unsuspecting asses this time? Well, Sonnen says people who claim to be “full time fighters” are lazy and that he has a strategy to defeat Anderson Silva on Aug. 7 at UFC 117 that has “never been beaten.”

Sonnen also inadvertently let slip how he’s managed to balance his pro fighting career and alleged other businesses, all while talking an uninterrupted line of shit about Silva during the past few months: He’s only training three hours a day.

(Props: YouTube/Svtjeriphone)

Here at CagePotato: The Weekend we like to keep it fairly casual. You know, a hair-down kind of affair where we can all relax, have a couple of cocktails and unwind. That said, when we get an email from The Powers That Be politely, yet firmly asking us to post the video of Sarah Kaufman’s KO slam of Roxanne Modafferi from Friday night, we figure we best hop to it. So here above, for those of you who can’t afford Showtime (Seriously, you’re missing an awesome season of Nurse Jackie) or those of you don’t want to sit through the full fight, is the good part.

(This moment brought to you by Bob Cook, Cain Velasquez and God. PicProps: Strikeforce)

Allegedly rehabilitated a-hole Mike Kyle notched his fourth straight win on Friday night after a pretty entertaining fight with Ron “Abongo” Humphrey at Strikeforce Challengers 9. The two light heavyweights kept an impressive pace for eight-plus minutes and Kyle displayed some fairly dynamic striking before offering the clearly exhausted Humphrey a way out via rear naked choke roughly 3:30 into the second round. When it was over, Strikeforce play-by-play shouter Mauro Ranallo made somewhat vague reference to the victory being “the resurrection of a career once thought ruined” and a legitimately humble-looking Kyle repeatedly thanked God, trainer “Crazy” Bob Cook and his AKA teammates for “sticking by me when a lot of people didn’t.”

What they were both getting at, of course, was that prior to this current resurgence Kyle had basically done everything he could to drum himself out of MMA, in the process becoming the standard-bearer for bad behavior both in and out of the cage. But with seven wins in his last nine fights and now seemingly on the doorstep of a title shot in Strikeforce’s puddle-shallow 205-pound division, are fans really ready to accept Kyle as a renewed human … or as a valid contender?

(“Dear Scott Coker, How do you like me now, bitch? XOXO. Love, Sarah.” PicProps: Strikeforce)

When Sarah Kaufman let it be known this week that she didn’t appreciate having her women’s welterweight title defense against Roxanne Modafferi relegated to the second-string series of America’s second-string MMA promotion, she said she planned to prove she deserved better. In a blog published on Pretty Tough Fighter.com, Kaufman said she would use her bout with Modafferi to demonstrate herself – and, by extension, the entire women’s 135-pound division — worthy of inclusion on one of Strikeforce’s “big shows.” Well, after Friday night’s performance, let us just say: We’re reading you loud and clear, Sarah.

Kaufman turned in one of women’s MMA’s more impressive (and ugly) knockouts last night, when she hoisted Modafferi off the mat and shut her lights out with a slam near the end of the third round in their fight at Strikeforce Challengers 9. If a finish like that doesn’t erase the memory of her previous fight and earn the now 12-0 Kaufman the respect and fanbase needed to be included alongside, say, “big stars” like Bobby Lashley or Herschel Walker on one of the Strikeforce’s A-list broadcasts, we’re not sure what will.

- 5 easy shortcuts to fake being fit (modernman)

– 70-year-old fighter looking to set Guinnes record tomorrow night (mrjamesryan)

- Best websites for finding a job (mademan)

- Don’t like MMA’s double standards? Then do something about it (mmafighting)

– Gerald Harris replaces injured Jorge Rivera vs. Alessio Sakara at UFC 118 (mmajunkie)

– Big Nog’ talks rematch with Mir (tatame)

– A letter to the guy who says "LOL!" in real world conversations (holytaco)

– UFC serves Justin.tv and USTREAM with subpoenas for piracy (ufc)

– UFC’s UK VP of operations confident that Fedor will one day fight in the Octagon (espn)

– Darth Vader has obviously blown through his Phantom Menace money on coke and $500 prostitutes (screenjunkies)

– Vitor Belfort tells Ed Soares to shut his mouth (thegarv)

– 175 pound boxer Danny Green wants to fight Lesnar (fightlinker)

- Eggshell membrane proven to alleviate arthritis (bullz-eye)

- Denise Milani: The world’s sexiest glamour model? (askmen)

- Newscaster comes up with new name for soy milk (break)

 
(Rooting against these guys will be easy, but who do you root for in this one?)

United Glory recently announced that it will be putting on a pretty decent eight-man welterweight tournament that will include guys like former BoDog Fight champion Nick "The Goat" Thompson, DREAM 170-pound tournament winner Marius Zaromskis and Roan Carneiro.

Although the line-up is decent, one hypothetical match-up that could materialize may be more intriguing than the fight card itself.

In hyping UFC 117′s main event, the UFC is doing their best to convince fans that Anderson Silva vs. Chael Sonnen won’t be as painful to watch as Silva’s last three middleweight title defenses against Demian Maia, Thales Leites, and Patrick Cote. Sonnen has the perfect style to beat Silva (so the story goes) and Chael’s outlandish trash talk might even inspire the champion to actually handle his business in the cage for a change. Do you buy it? I’m not quite convinced yet — personally, I think all the factors that made Silva’s fight against Maia so awful are also present in the Sonnen matchup — but in the interest of fairness, I figured I’d lay out both sides of the argument. First, why Silva vs. Sonnen will be another infuriating bust…

1. Silva Will Want to Avoid the Mat at All Costs
From a technical perspective, what made Silva’s fights against Demian Maia and Thales Leites so dull? Silva understood that those fighters posed their only threats on the ground, and he simply refused to allow the fights to go in that direction, which is something you can get away with when you’re a genius on your feet. Silva can’t be baited into going to the mat if he doesn’t want to, and he won’t full-out brawl with a grappler, and run the risk of getting grabbed and taken down. So he keeps his distance, landing a punch to the knee once in a while just to keep himself entertained. As a wrestler, Chael Sonnen’s attack is a little different — he wants to be on top and grind you down — but winning fights still means landing a takedown and turning the action horizontal, and Silva knows that. So if you’re expecting a firefight between these two, keep dreaming. It’ll be another stick-and-move-and-move-and-move-and-move-and-move exhibition from the champ.

(Video courtesy ESPN)

Rather than sit through Franklin McNeil pretending he knows what he’s talking about for 30 minutes during the above video of last night’s episode of MMA Live, fast forward to the 10:14 mark and watch Chael Sonnen take the boxing analyst-turned-on-air MMA Wikipedia fact reader to task for his biased and bad question.

Sonnen’s verbal mastery was on point from his opening reply, when asked if his "trash talk" is real or if he’s just saying what he has to try to get into Anderson Silva’s head prior to their rapidly approaching UFC 117 showdown.

"First off, I haven’t talked any trash about [Anderson]. I haven’t said anything I’ve apologized for and I certainly haven’t said anything that wasn’t true. And secondly, who cares about Anderson’s head? He pretends he doesn’t understand anyway. I don’t care about Anderson’s head."

(Video courtesy WUSA9 News)

When Lloyd Irvin successfully disarmed a gun-toting home invader back in October 2008, he may have dodged a much bigger bullet than being robbed, as was assumed to be the reason behind the break in at his Maryland home.

According to a report by news channel WUSA9, one of the suspects in the case has been labeled as a possible serial killer by Prince George’s County Police Chief, Robert Hylton.

Here’s the 911 call made by Irvin’s wife that night.

(Phil Davis: Athletic, explosive, and built like some sort of alien.)

Due to an injury suffered in training, undefeated Bulgarian prospect Stanislav Nedkov will not be taking on Rodney "Sho Nuff the Master" Wallace at UFC 117 (August 7th, Oakland). Stepping up on two weeks’ notice to face Wallace will be another exciting light-heavyweight, Phil "Mr. Wonderful" Davis.

Davis (6-0) has posted two consecutive victories during his time in the Octagon, scoring a lopsided unanimous decision against Brian Stann in his debut, and choking out Alexander Gustafsson in his latest appearance. Since the former NCAA wrestling champ has a growing amount of hype behind him, it seems somewhat odd that he would risk his momentum to take a short notice fight against an opponent who’s beneath him on the light-heavyweight ladder. (Although it’s never really a bad idea to pick up cage experience and an extra paycheck while scoring valuable brownie points with the UFC.)

Unlike Davis’s success in the Octagon, Wallace (9-2) has had a rough time of it so far, suffering back-to-back decision losses to Brian Stann and Jared Hamman. In other words, he needs a win here to save his job. Lotsa luck, bro.

(Photos courtesy of Esther Lin/Strikeforce. Click thumbnails below for larger images.)
   

Weigh-in results for tonight’s show in Everett, Washington are below. Set the DVRs now, Showtime subscribers. And please throw down some MMA FightPicker guesses if you haven’t already!

Shane Del Rosario (243.6) vs. Lolohea Mahe (264)
Sarah Kaufman (134) vs. Roxanne Modafferi (133.4)
Cory Devela (171) vs. Bobby Voelker (170.4)
Abongo Humphrey (202.6) vs. Mike Kyle (205.8)
Caros Fodor (155.6) vs. Thomas Diagne (156)

Chael Sonnen vs. Forrest Griffin – Watch more Funny Videos

Long before either man ever competed in the UFC’s Octagon, Chael Sonnen and Forrest Griffin fought each other in the opening round of the IFC: Global Domination light heavyweight tournament.

Fighting a class above his usual middleweight division, Chael who competed in the tourney at his walking around weight of 197 lbs, was unable to contend with the strength advantage and the ground game of Griffin, succumbing to a triangle in the opening frame.

(Way to let personal opinion get in the way of making an informed decision, North Vancouver.)

City of North Vancouver city council squashed any possibility that the city will sanction mixed martial arts events any time in the near future as it voted to disband the North Vancouver Athletic Commission Monday night, according to the Northshore Outlook.

“I’ve watched enough of it (Ultimate Fighting Championship) channel surfing to know that I find it repugnant … barbaric,” said Coun. Pam Bookham in the interview with The Outlook.

("Time it was and what a time it was…")

Contradicting earlier reports that had Tito Ortiz facing Forrest Griffin in a meaningless rubber match, MMAFighting.com has confirmed that Ortiz will instead face off against Matt Hamill at UFC 121 (October 23rd; Anaheim, CA). The Huntington Beach Blah Blah hasn’t competed since his split decision loss to Griffin at UFC 106, and hasn’t won a fight since his third TKO victory over Ken Shamrock in October 2006. Hamill is coming off his majority decision over Keith Jardine at the TUF 11 Finale, which got the Dean of Mean bounced out of the UFC. Technically, Hamill has won his last four fights, including the Jon Jones DQ. If you’ll recall, Hamill was a member of Team Punishment on TUF 3, so this fight will have extra significance when Hamill beats Tito’s ass. In other UFC 121 booking news…

(Pay no attention to the two dudes lurking in the background…)

Light-heavyweight wunderkind Jon Jones and grizzled old vet Vladimir Matyushenko face off next Sunday at UFC Live: Jones vs. Matyushenko, August 1st in San Diego. At first, we were quick to write off this matchup as a gift for Bones, but nothing is guaranteed in this crazy sport. Let’s dive into the stats and see who really holds the advantages…

AGE
Jones: 23
Matyushenko: 39
Advantage: Jones

NICKNAME
Jones: "Bones"
Matyushenko: "The Janitor"
Advantage: Jones. You already know how we feel about Vlad’s nickname.

TIME SPENT AS A PRO
Jones: Over two years
Matyushenko: Almost 13 years
Advantage: Matyushenko. The Janitor probably owns jock-straps that have logged more cage-time than Jones.

CAREER HIGHLIGHT
Jones: Headlining the UFC’s first card on Versus and breaking Brandon Vera’s face in three places.
Matyushenko: Becoming the IFL’s first light-heavyweight champion, and successfully defending the belt before the organization folded.
Advantage: Even. Matyushenko can say he’s a former champion. But Jones can say he destroyed Brandon Vera’s face. It kind of depends on where your priorities lie.

Cage Potato vs. Forrest Griffin – Watch more Funny Videos

We caught up with Forrest Griffin at the MMA Expo last month in Toronto (before news of his rumored third match-up with Tito Ortiz at UFC 121 was leaked) and we spoke with the former UFC light heavyweight champ about a variety of topics including returning from his shoulder injury, the possibility of facing Lyoto Machida, his new book and how dirty he feels after shaking hands with fans and signing autographs all day. 

(What a backwards society we live in when wrestling is for girls, but diamond cluster earrings are for badasses.)

At first, I thought James Toney was just just posturing when he said that MMA fighters wouldn’t stand a chance against top-level boxers, but now I’m beginning to think that "Lights Out" really believes it when he says that mixed martial arts is an inferior combat sport and that he will dominate any heavyweight the UFC throws at him, starting with his upcoming UFC 118 opponent Randy Couture.

In a recent interview with Fighters Only Toney, who is still delusional enough to believe that he is one of the best boxers in the world — a distinction he hasn’t known for a number of years — said that wrestling is not a man’s sport and that his credentials cancel out those of Couture, despite the fact that he is fighting him in his sport.

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

"To talk about me is easy," Anderson Silva says in the above preview vid. "Try to beat me." Ah, there’s the rub. Chael Sonnen‘s trash talk has been absolutely epic in the run-up to this fight, but it remains to be seen if he can even back up one tenth of it in the Octagon. Meanwhile, Roy Nelson has finally earned Dana White’s respect with his knockouts of Brendan Schaub and Stefan Struve, and is "a definite contender for the heavyweight championship." To get his shot, he’ll have to become the first UFC fighter to endure the fists of Junior Dos Santos, who has been leaving a very impressive trail of bodies in his wake. It’s a matchup that guarantees excitement, as opposed to main event, in which…well, if Silva dances around and mocks his opponent for five more excruciating rounds, don’t act like you didn’t see it coming.

After the jump: E. Casey Leydon follows Roxanne Modafferi and Sarah Kaufman as they prepare for their 135-pound title match at Strikeforce Challengers, tomorrow night in Everett, Washington. The event kicks off on Showtime at 11 p.m. ET/PT.

MMA Fighter Chokes Baby – Watch more Sports

Hopefully this will silence the haters who think Alan Belcher‘s grappling isn’t on Demian Maia’s level. MMAGirls.net brings us this video of the Talent demonstrating the ol’ RNC on his six-month-old daughter Ava, who already seems to understand that tapping out is for bitches. Watch as the level of concern in the room goes from "awww, what’s he doing to that baby?" to "seriously, what’s he doing to that baby." Belcher most recently finished Patrick Cote — a full-grown man — by the same technique at UFC 113.

(Video Courtesy YouTube/JoeRogan.net)

Match-ups between four Strikeforce stand-out fighters are being discussed for a potential October CBS-broadcasted event according to various industry sources.

MMAFighting reports that although he is noncommital whether one of the bouts — a light heavyweight tilt between Dan Henderson and Renato "Bablu" Sobral will happen on the card,  if indeed at all, Strikeforce CEO Scott Coker wouldn’t rule out the possibility that the fight could take place on the rumored October CBS show.

(Video courtesy YouTube/UltimateWomenChallenge)

NBC will finally made its foray into the world of mixed martial arts in September when it airs its Ultimate Women Challenge MMA reality show. 

The show, which was originally scheduled to run last fall, will be hosted by Bas Rutten and model and Dancing with the Stars competitor Joanna Krupa and will feature some new and some recognizable faces in female MMA including Jackson’s MMA product Julie Kedzie and American Top Team trained fighter Jessica Aguilar.

(Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

Yesterday, we wondered why Strikeforce’s next 135-pound women’s title fight was getting second-billing to a barely relevant men’s heavyweight scrap on a Challengers card. Well, Sarah Kaufman doesn’t really understand it either, and she posted a blog on PrettyToughFighter.com earlier today explaining her frustration. Take it away, champ…

Cookies and Man Parts
…seem to be the 2 things that will get me on a main Strikeforce card…that and learning how to shake my assets. [Ed. note: That was her link, not ours.]
I am currently the Strikeforce Women’s Welterweight Champion…yet I fought for the title on a Challengers Card. Now, I am set to defend said title against Roxanne Modafferi in just a few days – again – on a Challengers Card.

I know that it’s going to be a fun and challenging fight…and I always welcome that. Roxanne has been around the sport for a long time and will come game to fight; however, I need to take this fight and make a statement.

That statement will be: I deserve to be on a main Strikeforce Card because I am a talented, exciting FEMALE fighter at 135lbs! I will NOT eat a ridiculous amount of cookies to make 145lbs JUST for the opportunity to be on a main card and growing man parts… well that would just be ridiculous  

(Corn’s in season? YES! YES! YES!)

According to  a report by pennyjomma.com, Diego Sanchez will remain at welterweight and will square off against dangerous Brazilian Paulo Thiago at UFC 121 October 23 in Anaheim, California.

Sanchez confirmed the fight with the website via text message:

"Lol it’s top secret jk !!! all you girls need to know is I’m fighting Paulo thiago oct 23 at 121. I am giving everything I have in the training camp this time around, I will show my fans and ufc that that last fight I was only performing at 70 % with no one to blame but myself. I have found my focus again I am excpecting [sic] a war. Luv you two awesome fans!"