(Hopefully the meter maid didn’t give Spencer that shiner.) 

UFC lightweight Spencer Fisher was arrested in Bettendorf, Iowa on Tuesday for "interfering with an official act," which could mean anything from tearing up a parking ticket a meter maid was writing him to refusing to allow animal control to take his dog that had gotten loose from his yard.

He was released on $300 bond on his own recognizance.

Here’s the section of the Iowa criminal code that deals with the misdemeanor charge:

IOWA CODE 1999
719.1 Interference with Official Acts.
1. A person who … who knowingly resists or obstructs the service or execution by any authorized person of any civil or criminal process or order of any court, commits a serious misdemeanor. …
3. The terms “resist” and “obstruct,” as used in this section, do not include verbal harassment unless the verbal harassment is accompanied by a present ability and apparent intention to execute a verbal threat physically.

(VidProps: YouTube/UFC)

One of the things the mainstream media loves to crow about Dana White is that he appeals to MMA fans because we view him as a “normal guy” who talks like we talk, dresses like we dress and isn’t afraid to speak his mind when the time comes. Of course, like a lot of things the mainstream media says about our sport, that’s total bullshit. There’s nothing “normal” about Dana White. Normal guys don’t take their kids to Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory for their birthdays, flit around on private planes or have sit downs with Mike Tyson.

In fact, one of the main reasons to like Dana White is that he’s not a normal guy. One of the reasons to like Big DW is that after the mainstream media told MMA fans to collectively go fuck themselves for, oh, about a decade Dana White smiled at them and basically said, “You’ll be begging me to be on your shows someday.” You know what? That cocky fucker was right, and it’s hard not to admire him for it. As evidence, witness DW’s new video blog, where he’s basically given the run of ESPN’s Bristol, Conn. “campus” for a day while he’s out promoting UFC 118.

(Like "Good Will Hunting," without the smart one. PicProps: CombatLifestyle.)

Given the location of this weekend’s card and the company’s insistence on promoting the co-main event as a “UFC vs. boxing,” spectacle it’s a bit surprising we haven’t heard more from Marcus Davis leading up to UFC 118. Davis after all is a former professional pugilist who made the transition to MMA long before James Toney began mastering the art of the “side check kick.” But maybe because he’s just 3-3 in his last six fights and his upcoming bout with Nate Diaz is scheduled to be first on Saturday’s PPV card, the “Irish Hand Grenade” hasn’t grabbed many headlines as the Octagon prepares to storm Beantown.

Davis did however sit down for an equal parts funny and scary interview with MMA Junkie this week. In it, he discusses how he made his bones in the hardscrabble world of the small-time Boston boxing scene in the late ’90s and basically makes his life sound like the plot of an unproduced Sylvester Stallone movie. You know, back before Sylvester Stallone movies were just a collection of one-liners tied loosely together by scenes of shit blowing up.

(It will take one million dollars to buy our group’s support)

For about the past three years I have spent an hour or so every four to six months in the office of an old curmudgeon of an allergist in my small town in Ontario. He’s close to retirement, but he’s the best in his field bar none and he has pioneered several allergy testing techniques that have been well-documented, so I sit through the annoyance I’m about to describe.

Every visit starts the same way:

Him: Are you still writing about that crazy sport?

Me: Yep.

Him: I told you I tried to watch it once and couldn’t even get through ten minutes.

Me: Yeah, you mentioned that a few times.

Him: I just don’t understand how two men who are apparently of sound mind can get into a ring and try to knock the other guy unconscious.

Me: Well, there’s quite a bit more to the sport than that. The object isn’t to…

Him: …And how any doctor could sit there at an event and watch these two guys try to give each other brain damage. What kind of medical professionals are these guys and what kind of a society are we living in?

Me: Well, boxing is accepted by the same society and the biggest goal of a boxing match is to land as many punches to your opponent’s head to try to knock them out. MMA is different in that…

Him: …I’m not a boxing fan, but at least that sport takes a certain amount of skill and has rules.

Me: Well, I should probably get going. My meter is about to expire. See you in December.

(Photo courtesy of MMAWeekly)

By CagePotato.com contributor Elias Cepeda

Gabe Ruediger (17-5) spent years developing a solid reputation as a talented submission fighter, racking up an impressive record and finally reaching the UFC. Then, with a loss in his debut and an embarrassing short-lived stint on The Ultimate Fighter 5, which saw him get KO’d by a scale and not an opponent, he saw it disintegrate in just a few months’ time.

That was in 2006. Since that time, Ruediger has had neck surgery, switched up teams, won and finished his last six fights, and has now found himself back in the UFC as he steps in for an injured Terry Etim to face another TUF 5 vet, Joe Lauzon. Gabe talks with CagePotato about how he survived becoming a laughing-stock and why he thinks Joe Lauzon is a “good kid,” but still wants to kick his ass.

CAGEPOTATO.COM: Gabe, you are filling in on short notice for Terry Etim to fight Joe Lauzon. The two of you, as well as his younger brother Dan, have been talking back and forth with each other for years. How did this fight finally come about?
GABE RUEDIGER: [UFC matchmaker] Joe Silva approached us after my last fight and said that he wanted to bring me back but that it was hard to find a proper place for me with the lightweight division being so deep. They were unsure of what to do with me and wanted to give me a fight if they could find a really good matchup for me in terms of it being compelling. But I was in a good position at that time because all the major organizations were interested in me so I understood and was fine with that. When Terry Etim had to pull out of the fight with Joe and they called me I was more than thrilled and I think Joe was more than thrilled. The fight has a good back story to it.

(This is actually where the UFC press conference is being held. No kidding. Inside that historic room, in front of the busts of those great American patriots, James Toney will tell Randy Couture "I’mma whip y’muhfuckin ass, prinsiss, y’fill’me." Photo courtesy of twitter.com/ArielHelwani)

Dana White, Frankie Edgar, BJ Penn, Randy Couture, James Toney, Kenny Florian, and Gray Maynard will appear and take UFC 118-related questions from the media at the Faneuil Hall in Boston today beginning at 3 p.m. ET. You can watch the proceedings live in the player after the jump. Go Red Sox.

(When you’re name’s War Machine, you’re likely never getting the benefit of the doubt)

Embattled former UFC welterweight War Machine avoided state prison Tuesday, but was sentenced by a judge to serve the remainder of a one-year sentence in county jail, whereupon he will be on probation for three years and will be prohibited from consuming alcohol during that period (so much for drinking toilet wine). The news comes courtesy of NBC San Diego.

Prior to his sentencing yesterday, the fighter formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver gave the judge a three-page letter pleading his case in which he stated that he has met some bad people in jail and doesn’t want to end up on the same life path as them.

"I’ve made some stupid mistakes in my life,” War Machine told the judge. "I’m not a bad person. I’ve tried the hard way my whole life. It’s not working. I’m done with that."

(No word yet on whether Penn plans to file a formal complaint against the bacterium that screwed him out of the title at UFC 112. PicProps: ESPN)

After the jump you’ll find a slickly produced video blog from the folks at ShootMedia – which we’re led to believe is just part one of an on-going series — that chronicles BJ Penn taking his training camp for UFC 118 from his beloved Hilo, Hawaii to California, where he spent the final four weeks before his 155-pound title rematch with Frankie Edgar. “BJ’s a fighter and he always wants to be on top,” says Penn boxing coach Jason Parillo at the tail end of the vid. “When you take him off the peg of being on top, we get an animal.”

While for the most part, this piece comes off as a fairly standard training blog – BJ doesn’t do anything particularly animalistic, though there is one scene of him getting after it on the rowing machine – it’s clear that Penn’s training partners appear here for one reason and one reason only: So they can say all the stuff the former lightweight champ wants us to know, but doesn’t want to actually say himself. Case in point: Taking on the topic of the sinus infection said to hamper his performance at UFC 112 in Abu Dhabi.

 
(I think the message was quite clear. I specifically told Nick NOT to be scared.)

It looks like Strikeforce has missed the marketing train once again as the promotion has passed on a self-selling grudge match between Jason "Mayhem Miller" and Nick Diaz and will instead once again pair the latter up with KJ Noons in a rematch of their 2007 EliteXC title bout. In that fight, Noons emerged victorious due to doctor stoppage resulting from a cut sustained by Diaz. More memorable than their bout was the in-cage melee between Team Cesar Gracie and Noons’ father a year later after Noons’ fight with Yves Edwards in Hawaii during which Nick’s immortal "Don’t be scared, homie," line was born. EliteXC brass orchestrated a rematch-hyping staredown between KJ and Nick, but as we have learned, whenever a Diaz is involved, anything can, and usually will happen.

This time around Diaz’s welterweight strap will be up for grabs, which makes perfect sense according to Strikeforce calculus. Anywhere else Noons may have to…I don’t know…win a fight at 170 perhaps before getting a shot for the belt. But this is Strikeforce, where logic is overrated and matchmaking is easy if you have a magic eight ball.

(Photo courtesy of ChampionsBoston.com)

As many of you know, CagePotato.com will be in Boston this week for UFC 118 and the UFC Fan Expo. To commemorate the occasion, CP’s dedicated superfan-lackeys Viva Hate and ReX13 have organized a Potato Nation meetup on Thursday night for folks who live in Beantown or will be visiting for the fights. (Seriously, they made a Facebook page and everything.) Here are the details…

When: Thursday night, from "8:30 or so" onward
Where: Champions, a very classy-looking sports bar located on the second level of the Boston Marriott Copley Place (110 Huntington Ave.), with an astounding beer selection and more TV screens than a drunk person could possibly count.
What: Drinking; lots of drinking. The opportunity to hang out with your Internet friends. Trying to convince the waitress to put one of the TVs on Fox Sports Net so we can watch Bellator.

If that’s not enough to get you out to Champions, we have one more thing to share…

(Nick Thompson is stretchered to safety after getting smoked by Taisuke Okuno at Sengoku 14. Check out FIGHT! Magazine‘s exclusive gallery of photos from the event right here.)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

– BJ Penn Hopes James Toney Does Well Against Randy Couture (MMA Convert)

– Facing your "Mirs": Where do Lashley and King Mo go from here? (Watch Kalib Run)

– 5 Things To Watch For At UFC 118 (Heavy.com/MMA)

– Mauricio ‘Shogun’ Rua’s Return Delayed Until Mid-2011 (Versus MMA Beat)

– Why Nick Diaz vs. ‘Mayhem’ Miller Is the Fight Strikeforce Needs Now (MMA Fighting)

– Exclusive Interview With Bellator Middleweight Tournament Winner Alexander "Storm" Shlemenko (LowKick)

– Outstanding Wrestlers and the Lessons Learned (Five Ounces of Pain)

– Kickboxing Legend Andy Hug, R.I.P. (MMA Scraps)

– This Rampage vs. Machida trailer will be the greatest thing you will see today, guaranteed (MiddleEasy)

(Instead of bringing a knife to a gunfight against Couture, Toney’s bringing an unarmed combat instructor)

If you caught the UFC 118 countdown show last night, you were introduced to James Toney’s new trainer, Kenpo karate black belt and hand to hand combat instructor Trevor Sherman.

I was kind of taken aback since the last I had heard Toney was working with the beloved former plaintiff of a CP court case, Juanito Ibarra.

It turns out Ibarra and Toney parted company back in May, and since we can’t afford to defend another frivilous lawsuit after paying for new CP smart cars for Ben and I, we’ll say it was Ibarra’s choice to leave and just leave it at that. It’s not hard to believe, since he’s never been a difficult person to deal with in the past.

(Video courtesy YouTube/UFC)

Dana White is back with another installment of his self aggrandizing video blogs and he’s rubbing in our faces how much better his life is than ours is again.

In this edition, White hangs out with former multiple time world heavyweight boxing champion Mike Tyson and the conversation inevitably turns to the Randy Couture-James Toney bout set for Saturday night in Boston at UFC 118.

Tyson calls the bout intriguing, but seems to be leaning towards Couture as the favorite. The most interesting comments made by Iron Mike in the video were regarding Toney’s personality.

"Toney’s a crazy guy. He’s a really dark kind of crazy guy…. ha…ha..ha..ha..ha!!"

When Mike Tyson calls you dark and crazy, it might be time to re-examine things.

(Big ups to Team Thirsty, Team Get Dat Paper and Team Having-a-Second-Reconstructive-Knee-Surgery-in-Less-Than-Two-Years. PicProps: Esther Lin, obvi.)

OK, so here’s a textbook example of why fighters need managers (preferably managers who are not also their girlfriends, because that’s a no-win situation for everyone): Word out of Muhammed “King Mo” Lawal’s camp in the wake of his loss to Rafael “Feijao” Cavalcante at Strikeforce: Houston on Saturday is that Mo blew out both the anterior and posterior cruciate ligaments in his left knee during the bout. Because he’s an MMA fighter, Lawal wanted to squeeze in one more fight before opting to have surgery, but fortunately cooler (read: sane) heads prevailed. Manager Ryan Parsons now says the former Strikeforce light heavyweight champion could be out for up to nine months.

“Mo wanted to take one more fight, but we decided that this injury should be attended to first,” Parsons told Sherdog.com yesterday.  Um, yeah. No shit.

(When will Ontario see its first event?)

It wasn’t the fact that the province’s Liberal majority government finally decided that MMA was on par safety-wise and skill-wise with other sports that are legally contested in Ontario, making it a no-brainer to legalize that threw so many people off; it was the fact that the announcement came without much warning or fanfare.

The then-Minister of Consumer Services (she was shuffled to a different cabinet position four days after the announcement) Sophia Aggelonitis tweeted the news early on the morning of Saturday, August 14. Within an hour of sending out her brief message, that simply stated “Ontario will move to allow mixed martial arts,” Aggelonitis’ office posted a press release regarding the decision pointing to “competitor safety and boosting local economies” as its main reasons behind its landmark decision.

(The unstoppable force meets the immovable asshole. Photo courtesy of MMAFighting.com)

According to the LA Times’ Lance Pugmire, a middleweight title rematch between Anderson Silva and Chael Sonnen is being penciled in for the UFC’s next New Year’s Eve or Super Bowl weekend card, after Silva recovers from the rib injury that reportedly plagued him before the fight. Unlike other immediate UFC title rematches that have been booked recently — see esp., Machida vs. Rua II, Penn vs. Edgar II — Silva and Sonnen’s first meeting didn’t end in a close/controversial judges’ decision. Instead, Silva sunk a triangle-armbar with less than two minutes remaining in the fifth round, after getting out-wrestled and battered for the previous four frames.

Going into his UFC 118 title rematch against Frankie Edgar, BJ Penn is carrying a title that he hasn’t had since before UFC 80 — former champion. We’re willing to believe that the Prodigy had an off night in Abu Dhabi, but if he wants his belt back he’ll have to relocate the kind of violent aggression that got him to the top in the first place. With that in mind, let’s take a look back at four of Penn’s early fights that set him up as a star in the UFC, and laid the groundwork for the legend that was to come…

BJ Penn vs. Joey Gilbert, UFC 31, 5/4/01

As the first non-Brazilian to win the black belt division at the Mundials, Penn entered the UFC with a reputation to uphold. But he wasn’t looking to become the next Royce Gracie. Even from the beginning, the Prodigy was a true hybrid fighter, whose grappling and striking worked in tandem. His Octagon debut was against another UFC newbie, Joey Gilbert (1-1 MMA record at the time), and though Gilbert showed impressive ground defense in neutralizing Penn’s attacks and positions, Penn was finally able to flatten Gilbert out on his stomach and whale him in the head until the ref stopped the fight with three seconds left of the first round. It looked like there might be something to this BJ Penn kid after all.

BJ Penn vs. Din Thomas, UFC 32, 6/29/01

Penn returned to action just eight weeks later to take on another fighter who was making his UFC debut. But even though Din Thomas was new to the Octagon, he’d already been around the block, compiling a 12-1 record with all victories by stoppage and a notable win over future champ Jens Pulver. Penn plays guard for a while (and shows off his famous leg flexibility at the vid’s 2:13 mark), but once Thomas starts to threaten with ground-and-pound, Penn escapes to his feet and turns Din off with a perfectly-placed knee to the jaw. The Prodigy was no fluke, and the UFC’s fledgling lightweight division was officially on notice.

(Video courtesy YouTube/UFC.com)

I’m not sure what the betting odds are set at but I’m thinking that its pretty much a lock that James Toney’s interview segments from the UFC 118 countdown show that premiers tonight will include closed captioning. Apparently even Chael Sonnen can’t understand anything that comes out of Toney’s mouth and he figured out Portugese from an iPhone application in an afternoon.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that his trash talk on the show will include a bunch of insults towards Randy about how "he’s no legend" and he’ll fill in the remainder of his segment by talking about how great he is, how he’s going to "turn Randy’s lights out" and by referring to Couture at every turn as "princess."

(Props: EASJBS)

Since you’re probably tired of hearing about James Toney and his wack-ass smack talk, we’re going to leave him out of today’s installment of The New Guys. Instead, we’ll focus on a fighter who actually has a decent chance of winning his UFC debut at #118, and will probably stick around for one more fight even if he loses. Ladies and gentlemen, meet the other guy who will be entering the Octagon for the first time on Saturday…

AMILCAR ALVES (WW)
Experience: 11-1 record (seven wins by first-round stoppage), competing for various Brazilian promotions. Last competed in December 2009, avenging his only career loss with a 59-second knockout of Fernando Paulon.
Will be facing: Mike Pierce (11-3, 2-1 UFC), in the first fight of the preliminary card.
Lowdown: A product of the red-hot Nova Uniao team in Brazil, Amilcar Alves is a training partner of such elite fighters as Jose Aldo and Marlon Sandro. The judo black belt plans on being a crowd-pleaser: “I know what audience and the promotion expect from a newcomer: to be a ferocious and hungry dog, and this is what I want to [be]. I know what I’ll bring will please the person who’s a UFC fan, much aggressiveness and versatility…I’m capable of bringing new tricks to the table in any moment.”

Apparently Vitor wasn’t bullshitting when he said he isn’t waiting around for Anderson Silva to heal from his rib injury to fight the UFC middleweight champ next spring. According to the former UFC light heavyweight champion, he will take another fight in the mean time which should appease those who believe that he should at least have one fight at middleweight in the Octagon before getting a title shot.

The question is, who should he fight?

The UFC’s middleweight division has not shortage of contenders, but most of the usual suspects are already committed to fights and would have to abridge their training camps — that is if they escape their upcoming fights without any injuries.

Let’s look at the candidates for facing Belfort.

(You taking notes, Tapout? Now *that’s* how you make an MMA T-shirt. VidProps: YouTube/Helwani)

At this point, it would basically constitute an act of grievous, unforgivable promotional negligence if Strikeforce fails to put Jason “Mayhem” Miller in the cage with Nick Diaz this October. When two of your most popular and similarly-sized fighters have a real life beef that comes preloaded with hype from a giant, in-ring brawl your company already aired on national television, it doesn’t exactly take P.T. Fuckin’ Barnum to figure out what to do. Unfortunately, since grievous, unforgivable promotional negligence is what Strikeforce does best these days, this fight will probably never happen.

And you know who’s going to be really pissed about that? I mean, besides us? Mayhem Miller, that’s who. As evidenced by the above video with Ariel Helwani the very topic of Diaz makes Miller totally incapable of using his “inside voice.”

(I gotta split, man. KITT is double parked out front.)

According to Strikeforce lightweight KJ Noons, he isn’t a dirty fighter and he says fans shouldn’t be swayed by popular opinion about a late punch he connected with after the bell in the first round and a questionable knee he landed to his downed opponent Jorge Gurgel in the second round during their Strikeforce: Houston bout on Saturday night.

"I’m not trying to be dirty," Noons said. "I’m just trying to finish the fight."

The fighter with the Hasselhoff hair explained the late shot to MMAJunkie, pointing to the fact that he wanted to ensure he won the round and that he didn’t even hear the bell.

"I didn’t hear the bell," Noons said. "I heard the 10 seconds. When you hear the 10 seconds, being a fighter, this is your chance. I don’t know if I won that round. I don’t know if he won that round. You want to end every round showing out good. A lot of guys do a takedown. For myself, I want to get that last couple combos in to maybe finish the round good and win the round."

The day is finally upon us. After a very fruitful submission period, we’re ready to announce the 12 finalists of our desktop wallpaper contest, presented by Throwdown. Check them out after the jump, and vote for your favorite in the poll over on the right. (If you have trouble using our poll, please e-mail contest@cagepotato.com and include which Internet browser and operating system you’re using.) Please get your votes in by Thursday at midnight ET. On Friday, we’ll announce the first-place winner, who will receive the following Throwdown gear, pictured above:

– an All Over Print Duffle Bag
– a Logo Flexfit Hat
– a pair of On Top Remix Shoes
– a Throwdown Hoodie or Thermal of your choice
– 2 Throwdown by Affliction "T"s of your choice
– 2 Large Throwdown Stickers

Now, on to the brilliance…

(Hatsu Hioki vs. Jeff Lawson; video courtesy of ZombieProphetMMA)

A year and a half after Jorge Santiago scored a fifth-round comeback submission against Kazuo Misaki to win Sengoku’s middleweight title, the two fighters met again in the main event of yesterday’s Sengoku Raiden Championships 14 in Tokyo. And once again, Santiago managed to pull out a stoppage in the final round, forcing Misaki’s corner to throw in the towel with just 29 seconds left in the fight — a fortunate outcome indeed, considering that Santiago was down on the scorecards.

"The Grabaka Hitman" controlled the first two rounds thanks in large part to his grappling, scoring two takedowns in the opening frame, and threatening with a guillotine choke and full mount in the second. The bout entered "Fight of the Year" territory beginning in the third. Santiago surged back, dropping Misaki with a head kick and smashing him with strikes from the top. It looked grim for the Japanese fighter, but Misaki survived and turned the tables once again in the fourth round, flooring Santiago with punches then working some knees to the head; Santiago intentionally rolled under the ropes to escape the abuse and was slapped with a red card. When the action was re-started, Santiago scored another knockdown of his own during a fierce striking exchange and pounded on Misaki to the bell.

The final round began with another knockdown by Santiago. After a couple of submission attempts from the reigning champ didn’t pan out, Misaki swept Santiago, then Santiago swept Misaki. Santiago seized his moment, firing down hammerfists and punches until Misaki was turtled and helpless. The referee wasn’t quite convinced, but Misaki’s corner had seen enough, and threw in the towel at 4:31 of round 5. Santiago retains his Sengoku middleweight belt in another dramatic performance, while Misaki suffers his third defeat in four fights.

In other action, Akihiro Gono took a suprising decision loss against Mongolian K-1 vet Jadamba Narantungalag, top-ten featherweight Hatsu Hioki notched a first-round submission over a very game Jeff Lawson, and former top-ten welterweight Nick Thompson ate his third consecutive stoppage loss against Sengoku newcomer Taisuke Okuno. Full event results and video of the Santiago/Misaki battle are after the jump…

(King Mo was skeptical about looking into the strange man’s pinhole projector, but eventually his curiosity about seeing a total eclipse of the sun got the better of him. PicProps: Strikeforce)

Aside from the hapless Jorge Gurgel – who has lived in the States so long his nationality could most accurately be listed as “Ohioan,” anyway – Saturday night’s Strikeforce: Houston card couldn’t have gone much better for the promotion’s Brazilian contingent. From Rafael "Feijao" Cavalcante stopping Muhammed Lawal to claim the light heavyweight title in the main event to  Ronaldo "Jacare" Souza winning the 185-pound strap after a fight with Tim Kennedy that wasn’t really as close as a lot of people are trying to allege, Brazil pretty much owned everybody’s asses last night.  Again.

In unrelated news, Bobby Lashley lost to some guy whose sideburns made him look like he should be playing trombone in a third-wave ska band. All of our deepest fears and darkest suspicions about the former pro-wrestler’s heart and MMA skills were confirmed. Goddamn it felt good.

Somewhere, whatever notes Scott Coker had scribbled on the back of a Motel 6 brochure about the future of his company probably got crumpled up and tossed in a trash can.

(VidProps: YouTube/KarelMMArts)

Even 12 hours later, it’s difficult to fully grasp the ways in which Jorge Gurgel’s fight with KJ Noons turned into a terrible abortion at Saturday night’s Strikeforce: Houston show. Suffice it to say, a lot of things went horribly wrong and nearly everyone involved failed miserably to do their jobs.

As he almost always does, Gurgel came into the fight with the worst possible game plan, essentially guaranteeing defeat before the bout even started. Meanwhile, Noons crammed not one, but two blatantly illegal strikes into just over five minutes of fighting. For his part, referee Kerry Hatley seemed not to notice either of the infractions, then totally bungled one of the more obvious stoppage situations you’ll ever encounter in MMA. All the while the Strikeforce broadcast team reconfirmed for viewers its complete inability to adjust on the fly when even the slightest controversy rears its head.

(Focused and ready for battle, King Mo stares into his opponent’s eyes, desperately trying to remember who the hell this dude is. Photo courtesy of allelbows.com)

Two title fights in the light-heavyweight and middleweight divisions, a lightweight slugfest between KJ Noons and Jorge Gurgel, and Bobby Lashley‘s latest bit of record-padding, all brought to you by the world-famous City of Syrup. Let’s be real — if you’re not watching Strikeforce tonight, you’re a damn fool. Or, you don’t have Showtime. Or, you have better things to do. Speaking of which, your usual live-bloggers are occupied tonight, so respected CagePotato contributor Matt Kaplan will be filling in. Round-by-round updates can be found after the jump, beginning at 10 p.m. ET. Refresh the page for all the latest, and let your voices be heard in the comments section. 
 

(It was 5:15 and still no sign of the cable guy, but Antonio Silva wasn’t about to call that bitch at Comcast customer service again. PicProps: Strikeforce)

So the Strikeforce heavyweight division has come to this: With Fab Werdum injured and Fedor Emelianenko reportedly warming up to the idea of re-upping with the company following his next bout, Scott Coker and Co. appear intent on feeding Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva to either Fedor or champ Alistair Overeem in the coming months. To what end? Unclear, but with Silva the only legitimate (and healthy) 265-pound contender on the roster who hasn’t suffered a seemingly career defining loss lately, maybe it’s the only thing they can do.

At best, a fight pitting Bigfoot against either Overeem or Emelianenko is a place-holder. Just something to do until the promotion can suffer through another round of prickly negotiations with M-1 Global — rumor is Fedor won’t sign a goddamned thing until Strikeforce ponies up the dough for that racecar bed he’s had his eye on – and takes another crack at getting its two best heavies in the cage with each other.  At worst, the Brazilian gigantor actually wins. Then what are you going to do? A Werdum vs. Silva rematch to determine who is The Greatest Fighter of All Time? Don’t think so.

(We’ll always have South Bend. VidProps: YouTube/Marijuana Muscle)

Well, for once it turned out Dan Quinn wasn’t just bullshitting us. The World’s Most Craziest Man really did fight UFC vet and former reality TV star Aaron Brink in some kind of bizarre-o “striking only” bout last night. Not to ruin it for you, but the results are sadly predictable for anyone who knows,  in general, what a bad idea it is to sanction a fight featuring A) A crazy man or B) A guy who just got out of jail. In this case, Dan Quinn falls into both categories. (Ed. Note: Somewhere in the bowels of the San Diego lock-up, I hope you’re paying attention, War Machine. This is your future.)

Perhaps the California State Athletic Commission has some kind of minimum required amount of mental illness that must be present in the cage at all times, because some genius opted to let our man Sensei Cecil referee this bad boy. Homey plays it pretty straight during the first round, but then breaks out his patented karate chop to begin round two.  If you don’t want  further spoilers, don’t follow the jump until after you’ve watched the “fight.”