(Sometimes you forget how enormous Nate Marquardt is, and then you see him standing next to Chandella Powell and you’re like "damn, bro." / Photo courtesy of the UFN 22 Weigh In Pics gallery on CombatLifestyle.com)

What happens when you put two massively-jacked, notoriously aggressive middleweights in a cage together, one of whom is returning from a three-month suspension for his complete disregard of his opponents’ safety? Great things, we’re sure! Live play-by-play for tonight’s UFC Fight Night 22 event on Spike will be poppin’ off after the jump starting at 8 p.m. ET. Check your local listings before wading into spoilers, and refresh the page every few minutes to get all the latest results for Marquardt vs. Palhares, Efrain "El Gordo" Escudero vs. Charles Oliveira, Jim Miller vs. Gleison Tibau, and the outspoken Cole Miller vs. TUF 9 champ Ross Pearson. Be sure to stick around afterwards for the premiere of The Ultimate Fighter: Team GSP vs. Team Koscheck — or just read our episode recap tomorrow morning.

(Hazelett could easily drop five pounds by shaving off his Unabomber beard.)

CagePotato.com has learned that Dustin Hazelett will return to lightweight for the first time since facing Diego Saraiva at that weight in 2007 to challenge another submission specialist at UFC 124.

According to sources close to the fight, "McLovin" will take on Canadian grappling standout Mark Bocek on the Montreal, Quebec card, which, although the event details have yet to be officially announced, will likely take place on December 11 at the Bell Centre.

("Yeah, yeah, the number is the number, now where the f*ck the buffet at?" Photo courtesy of Heavy.)

After James Toney performed about as well as we thought James Toney would at UFC 118 last month, Dana White stated that we’d seen the last of Lights Out in the Octagon. And that may be the case, but it’s not going to stop James from trying. (After all, he got his UFC gig in the first place by being an insufferable pest.) In a new story posted on Fighthype, Toney angles for a spot on the upcoming UFC 123: Rampage vs. Machida card, which will be held near his Detroit hometown. "If they want to sell any tickets in Detroit, they should put me on there," Toney said. "Bitch ass Rampage can’t sell no tickets in my hometown." 

Well that’s not very kind. Keep in mind that James Toney didn’t exactly prove to be a strong live draw himself, as UFC 118 was short a couple thousand seats of a sellout, even with Toney’s presence. And that was in Boston, a fantastic and well-populated city that MMA fans would actually want to travel to. Detroit, on the other hand, is a bombed-out wasteland that you would only pass through as a last resort. According to our own research, the only way to guarantee sales in Detroit is to book either Brock Lesnar or GSP against Violent J or Shaggy 2 Dope.

(Video courtesy Vimeo/TheReem)

Our favorite online MMA biography series, The Reem, is back after a two-month hiatus and the latest offering proves it was well worth the wait.

In this episode, Alistair explains how he got into mixed martial arts and talks about the early days of his career when promoters couldn’t find an opponent in Holland to face him.

He also details his fights with PRIDE and the behind the scenes things that were going on his life that contributed to the series of losses he dropped, which is interesting to hear his account of, but it’s during this portion that you realize just how slick the production of these videos really is.

One story I had never heard before that "Demolition Man" tells in this segment is how he came to fight in K-1 on a whim against Badr Hari to shut up the Dutch-born Moroccan who had been incessantly dogging him to face him in a kickboxing match.

Regretfully, there is no mention of horsemeat or Fedor ducking him this time around, but there’s always episode 7.

("Wouldn’t it have been easier to just accept my friend request?" PicProps: CP24.com)

UFC welterweight champ Georges St. Pierre tells our guy Fowlkes at MMA Fighting this week that he typically doesn’t like to get to know his opponents on a personal level before he fights them. Since we all know that deep down GSP is kind of a bleeding-heart softy, he worries that if he comes to like and respect his foes it will be more difficult for him to beat the stuffing out of them in the cage.

“It’s hard," St. Pierre says. "Because let’s say in the fight you have a good position on him to hurt him, you know, to put him away and really hurt him. It’s harder to do. That’s why I like to be away from my opponent."

Apparently – and to absolutely no one’s surprise — getting to know Josh Koscheck while filming season 12 of “The Ultimate Fighter” had the exact opposite effect. In fact, St. Pierre says the most difficult thing about his TUF 12 experience was just having to hang out in close proximity to that insufferable dick. And here we thought the worst part of the reality show for GSP would be not being able to go to Club Orchid for a few weeks …

(Listen, man. I’m gonna make this up to ya’. I won’t kill ya’ and I’ll be your date for my afterparty.)

In the future, like most major corporations, the UFC and WEC will likely hand out employee handbooks to new signees that list behavioural expectations.
On the "DO" list will be things like:

"Hype a fight at all costs, no matter how uninteresting. You may call your opponent a bitch and mention that you want to hurt him if it helps to hype the fight."

"Sit out a year if it means you will hold your place in line for the next title shot when the injured champion of your division returns."

On the "DON’T" list will be things like:

"Pull out of a fight due to injury and agree to appear in a movie, no matter how much you need the money and if that is the case, don’t talk about how poor you may be."

"Mention in an interview that you want your opponent to die inside the Octagon or insinuate or proclaim that he is a homosexual."

Until they start handing out the manual, they are no doubt going to have to keep apologizing for not only the bad behavior, but also the stupid remarks made by their fighters like Frank Mir and Donald Cerrone.

("Wrestling should be a means to an end…You should be taking guys down so you can ground-and-pound the living piss out of them." Photo courtesy of the UFN 22 Weigh In Pics gallery on CombatLifestyle.com.)

If Cole Miller‘s match against Ross Pearson at tonight’s UFC Fight Night 22 event is boring, it won’t be Cole’s fault. The lightweight standout prides himself on being an exciting fight-finisher, and has stopped three of his last four opponents by submission. Miller was a guest on the latest installment of CagePotato’s Bum Rush Radio Show, and gave us an earful about the growing trend of point-fighting "underachievers" in MMA and why judging in the sport sucks so badly. Check out an excerpt from Miller’s segment below, and please subscribe to The Bum Rush Show on iTunes!

CAGEPOTATO.COM: I just saw your interview with BJPenn.com, where you referred to Frankie Edgar as a "bouncy wrestler type" who doesn’t try to finish, and is content to just stick and move and score the occasional takedown for points. Was Frankie dominating BJ Penn really not that impressive to you?
COLE MILLER: No, I thought it was very impressive. I don’t think you can say anything about his skill set. It’s just more like, I look back at his past fights — and it’s not so much Frankie Edgar, it’s just a trend with all weight classes and all these fighters — and it’s becoming more like boxing where these guys are just trying to do enough to win the round. "Let’s do just enough to get by. Let’s get that 10 points. And then let’s get that 10 points again. Oh, I’m up two rounds to none? Man, let’s just ride this out. Let’s just survive and do enough to just stay competitive, and man, I got that 29-28 at the very least."

It’s like, that’s really what you came here to do? And I’m not talking so much about Frankie [in] this second BJ fight. I’m just using him as an example because it was a recent fight and he’s a guy that has a lot of decisions on his record. Man the guy can really box, the guy’s got awesome boxing, he’s got good footwork, he definitely comes in shape, and he didn’t look like a slouch on the ground, he’s very well rounded, so to say that you’re not impressed with somebody, especially a champion, I think that’s kind of silly…it’s more like the mental approach to fighting. I just think that guys should have more of a finishing outlook on fights. Doing enough to just get by, that’s not something that’s looked well upon.

You look at boxing, why is MMA outdoing it on pay-per-view for the most part? It’s not because people can appreciate the takedowns and the ground game all that much more, even though the general population is becoming more and more educated, it’s because people like to see fights finished. Boxing was not getting the knockouts and you weren’t seeing these devastating knockouts like you used to, and people stopped buying the pay per views because the general public doesn’t want to see 36 minutes of two guys both trying to do enough to win the rounds and get that 10, and get that 10, and get that 10….

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

– The UFC officially announces Penn vs. Hughes III in Detroit (MMA Convert)

– Efrain Escudero comes in four pounds heavy for UFC Fight Night 22; fight with Oliveira will proceed as a catchweight bout (Five Ounces of Pain)

– Must-see: Chael Sonnen debuts his new stand-up comedy material at yesterday’s UFC Q&A session in Austin. (Heavy.com/MMA)

– Helwani vs. Dundas: UFN 22 Edition (Versus MMA Beat)

– Donald Cerrone Steps Over the Line Between Good Hype and a PR Problem (MMA Fighting)

– UFC 119: Mir vs. Cro Cop extended video trailer (MMA Scraps)

– Punk rock vampire pirates are the key to MMA promotion, obviously. (MiddleEasy)

– Anderson Silva says the fight against Chael Sonnen would be a different story, if he was completely healthy (LowKick)

– Behind the Lens With Josh Koscheck (FIGHT! Magazine)

– Epic video of Muhammad Ali doing what he does best…talking that smack (Watch Kalib Run)

You may also be interested in…

– The Jackass 3D crew needs ideas. Submit yours for a chance to film it with them. Plus, video of a rather impressive ferris wheel nut-shot. (WonderHowTo)

– Music video directors who made the jump to the big screen (Bullz-Eye)

(Listen, Chael. If you get into trouble and you forget what to do, I’ve had instructions printed on your shorts and my shirt and hat.)

Number one UFC middleweight contender Chael Sonnen took part in a Q&A session today in Texas ahead of tomorrow night’s UFC Fight Night 22 and as expected, the outspoken Republican had a lot to say.

Perhaps most interesting of all of the comments made by Sonnen at the UFC Fight Club event were in regards to whom he might be training with for his  rematch with Silva, tentatively scheduled for UFC 125 on January 1, and whom he has in his crosshairs should he win the UFC middleweight strap this time around.

"I’d love it if Yushin [Okami] came out [to help me train for the rematch with Anderson]. I have a room in my house and I call it Yushin’s room and nobody’s allowed to go in it. I finished the place for him, I put a big bed in it and I got him his own television. Nobody gets to go in there but Okami. But, I don’t know [if he'll make it to Oregon for my camp]," Sonnen said. "I just talked to a gentleman from Japan on behalf of Yushin. He talked about coming out, but he said that because he and Vitor [Belfort] are going to fight in Germany, he’s very worried about jet lag from travelling from Tokyo to the States, to Germany. So I don’t know if we’re going to get him or not." 

(Video courtesy YouTube/Heavy.com)

Just a reminder that we will be streaming the UFC Fight Night 22: Marquardt vs. Palhares weigh-ins live starting at around 5:00 pm ET.

Enjoy the ultra-dramatic pipe organ music seasoned clip of the two main event fighters getting their hands taped and hitting the pads at this week’s open media workout while you wait for the action to get underway.

The UFC media player is after the jump.

(Video courtesy of YouTube.com/asylumchannel)

Props to our buds at Asylum.com for putting Georges St. Pierre to good use when he stopped by their offices the other day. To recap, GSP is not impressed by your work, not impressed by Matt Hughes, not impressed by Taylor Swift, and somewhat impressed with that orange. Hopefully GSP keeps the running gag going and delivers his catchphrase to every losing fighter in tomorrow night’s TUF 12 elimination round.

(If you ask me to do the Techno Viking dance one more time, I’m shoving that glove up your ass.)

When Keith Jardine lost his Shark Fights debut against Trevor Prangley last weekend, effectively racking up his fifth straight loss, it didn’t seem like things could get much worse for the struggling former UFC light heavyweight.

It appears it did.

Jardine has been suspended indefinitely pending a disciplinary hearing for allegedly shoving a Texas Combative Sports Program official prior to his main event fight Saturday night.

   
(Click all images for larger versions.)

Props to MMAHilo.com for turning us on to Melissa Jo, an X-1 ring girl who originally hails from Kentucky, currently resides in Texas, and bills herself as "Southern Belle With a Twist." The "twist" in Melissa’s case is an edgy look that suggests she might go shot-for-shot with you at the bar, then leave you in a bathtub full of ice with a missing kidney. Not that we have a problem with that. Just be vigilant, is all we’re saying. The SBWaT has been featured in Ultimate MMA and MMA Sports, in addition to all the non-MMA-related magazine and event credits on her resume. More photos of Melissa await you after the jump. Get to know her better at SouthernBelleTwist.com, Facebook.com/SouthernBelleTwist, and twitter.com/southernbtwist.

(How did Bobby Lashley go from wrestling at a svelte 177-pounds in college to owning a Herculean physique and a head big enough to have its own zip code? Certain events, playa. PicProps: Heavy.com)

So, it was either the lingering effects of mononucleosis, that pesky bout of dehydration (possibly owing to the mononucleosis) or pressure from the haters that caused Bobby Lashley to shit the bed against Chad Griggs at Strikeforce: Houston last month. So said Lashley during an appearance on Ariel Helwani’s "The MMA Hour" yesterday. We’d be able to pin it down further for you, but reports make it seem like the WWE-wrestler-turned-MMA-heavyweight was still being kind of vague about the whole thing.

If you’re looking for a cool coffee table book to replace the Martha Stewart one your girlfriend arbitrarily decided to buy, you need to pick up Lee Whitehead’s "Blunt Force Trauma."

Chances are, if you’ve been a fan of mixed martial arts for more than a few weeks, you’ve seen some of Whitehead’s work. He’s a reporter with MMAWeekly and a longtime fixture in mixed martial arts photography. His work has appeared in countless MMA magazines including MMA Unlimited, Fighters Only, Martial Arts llustrated, Fighters, KamiPro in Japan and Ground and Pound Germany. He is also a feature MMA photographer for Spiked Extreme sports magazine.

Blunt Force Trauma is a collection of over 500 poignant photographs that illustrate the beauty and raw emotions of mixed martial arts through the triumphs, the trials and the tribulations of fighters from all walks of life and at different stages of their respective careers.

More excerpts from this must-have glossy hardcover after the jump.

A year after the release of their essential MMA striking-and-strategy manual The Stand Up Game, Greg Jackson and Kelly Crigger have teamed up again for Jackson’s Mixed Martial Arts: The Ground Game, a brand-new primer on ground fighting that was released on Friday. The book breaks down all the common grappling positions found in MMA (as well as Greg’s own cage-proven variations), helpfully illustrated with full-color photos, and even includes a section on nutrition contributed by P.R. Cole.  You can currently purchase the book for the bargain price of $23.07 on Amazon — or, you can win one of the two signed copies we have in our possession. You’re damn right it’s time for a caption contest.

After the jump, you’ll find a photo of Shark Fights off-color-man Don Frye sampling some of Amarillo’s local flavor. Come up with a clever caption and post it in the comments section below by Thursday morning at 8 a.m. ET. We’ll choose our two favorites and post the winners later that day. Good luck, folks. And thanks to Victory Belt for making this possible!

(Loser pays for the pig roast at the afterparty.)

CagePotato has learned through a source close to the situation that discussions are underway between Matt Hughes,  BJ Penn and the UFC to set up a rubbermatch between the pair at UFC 123 on  November 20.

The event, which is scheduled for The Palace of Auburn Hills in the Detroit suburb of Auburn Hills, Michigan will feature a main card match-up between former UFC light heavyweight champions Lyoto Machida and Quinton Jackson.

We first learned of the possible match-up last week, and although we were unable to confirm with Hughes’ or Penn’s camps as of time of writing, both men have since confirmed that they could possibly compete in November, so it seems like the tip was legit and that the bout is in fact a plausibility.

(Props: SOULJAHBOY1219)

We’ve already gotten a glimpse of TUF 12 castmember Alex Caceres, the afro’d cut-up who brought his own Bruce Lee costume to the set. Alex sports an MMA record of 4-2 — not including the unsanctioned backyard brawls he had in Perrine, Florida back in the day, hosted by Kimbo-esque fighter/promoter DaDa 5000 (of Dawg Fight fame). UG’er joe bruce found the above video of Caceres in one of those fights, scrapping with a gentleman named Chocolate in a 12-foot-square patch of grass. Chocolate is a handful at first, throwing wild punches and slamming Caceres on more than one occasion, but once Alex sets up the triangle choke, it’s only a matter of time before he gets the chill-dog tap. Afterwards, "Bruce" informs us that he takes slams all day, and basks in his instant celebrity. Not bad for a guy whose fight skills come from a delinquency prevention program.

Alex’s path to UFC glory begins this Wednesday night after UFC Fight Night 22 (which we’ll be liveblogging, FYI), when he does battle in the elimination round of TUF 12. For more of Bruce Leroy, check out his extended Ultimate Fighter video profile.

(Any of you blokes got any Visine?)

Last weekend was one that former boxing champion Ricky Hatton likely wants to forget.

Not only did "The Hitman" get knocked out with one punch in a drunken bar fight, he also got sold out to a tabloid by a lady friend who filmed the British boxer snorting copious amounts of cocaine off of a table and a toilet lid in her hotel.

Now Hatton has had to answer to the press and his fiancee for his behavior and has reportedly pulled a Tiger Woods, admitting himself into rehab to escape the media spotlight while he sorts out his problems and waits for the dust to settle. The official statement from his spokesperson is that Hatton is being treated for "depression and a drinking problem" and that "the drugs are quite recent and not actually the problem."

Now, I’m not justifying Hatton being out on the town with another woman or for getting wasted on coke and a few gallons of booze and acting like an idiot, but the fact that the woman, who claims to be a worried friend, went to the papers instead of contacting his family makes me think she set him up for a paycheck.

(VidProps: MMAWeekly)

While longtime viewers of “The Ultimate Fighter” continue to plead for the UFC to do something, anything to shake up the show’s stale formula, Zuffa, LLC. remains unwavering in its plans to take the reality series global with a number of American Idol-style international spin-offs. So says Dana White during the above recent public appearance, where he outlines future plans for the foreign and American ‘TUFs’ to culminate at the same live finale in a kind of intercontinental smorgasbord of violence.

“What we’re doing now is we’re working on ways to get ‘The Ultimate Fighter’ in other countries,” White says. At this point some enterprising soul in the audience (we assume it’s either Russell or Helwani) yells, ‘Canada!’ but White carries on without acknowledging him: “And then, you know when we do the finales? The finale would be all the countries (will) come together and everybody fights.”

We’re pretty sure he doesn’t mean all at once, but still …

("King of the Cage? I thought you said ‘King of the Players Ball.’ My bad.")

When Ray Mercer didn’t show up for a scheduled appearance on MMA Live last week, everyone figured that the boxer-turned-mixed martial artist, who is in the thick of training for a scheduled King of the Cage fight this coming Friday night must have mixed up his schedule.

Now it seems, there may be more to the story.

King of the Cage east coast representative Keith Creed revealed to usacombatsports.com that Mercer has not been in contact with anyone from his management team or his family since last Tuesday morning when he left his North Carolina home to complete the last leg of his training camp for his September 17 bout with Ron Sparks at "King of the Cage – No Mercy," in Mashantucket, CT.

(Natal vs. Travis Lutter, 5/21/10. Props: FightReloaded)

Though you won’t see any new faces on the televised main card, UFC Fight Night: Marquardt vs. Palhares will feature three fighters in the prelims who will be stepping into the Octagon for the first time. No pressure, guys. They’ve got the talent, but can they overcome the dreaded Jitters? Get to know these men below, and keep an eye out.

RAFAEL NATAL (MW)
Experience: 12-2 record (10 wins by stoppage within the first two rounds), with multiple appearances in Ring of Combat and various Brazilian promotions. Most recently knocked out Travis Lutter at Moosin: God of Martial Arts in May. Also holds a win over UFC/WEC vet Danillo Villefort.
Will be facing: Rich Attonito (8-3, 1-0 UFC)
Lowdown: Not to be confused with the King of Clay, Rafael "Sapo" Natal is a BJJ black belt under Draculino Magalhaes, and works as an instructor at Renzo Gracie’s in New York. His nickname means "Toad"; he picked it up as a 14-year-old during his first capoeira class in Brazil, and like all unflattering Brazilian nicknames, it stuck. Though grappling is Natal’s strong suit — and carried him to a gold medal at the Mundials as a blue belt in 2005 — Rafael loves a good brawl. As he told UFC.com, "Sometimes in the academy I’ll call a teammate to spar in that style (laughs) – no technique, only brawling, closed eyes, landing fists. This is excellent to take off the stress."

Natal was formerly the middleweight champion of Ring of Combat, but lost his title to Victor O’Donnell last year in unfortunate fashion: "I opted to trade strikes and the first round wasn’t going good for me. At the end of the first round the fight was on the ground and I was on the top, the round finished and I helped him up and went to my corner. The doctor asked me something and I didn’t answer because I didn’t speak English, so he stopped the fight! I tried to complain and nothing changed. Hey, don’t worry I improved my English and I won’t lose this way anymore."

(Anybody know the heimlich? Josh swallowed one of his little toys again. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

Despite the fact that he effectively torched Affliction’s MMA promotion by testing positive for steroids, Strikeforce has agreed to play ball with Josh Barnett, signing the former UFC heavyweight champion to a multi-fight contract. Strikeforce announced the news in a press release sent out this morning, but didn’t reveal the date of Barnett’s debut or the name of his first opponent. Said the Babyface Assassin:

“Strikeforce is the home of the best heavyweight division in the world and I’m proud to be able to call it my home now. I’m looking forward to competing amongst the greatest fighters in the world and fighting my way to another world title.”

(Alexander vs. Sokoudjou, where it appears the referee briefly considers letting Soko get beaten to death before finally stepping in to stop the fight. VidProps: ZombieProphetMMA)

Early reviews of last night’s Shark Fights 13 broadcast seem mostly positive, after Trevor Prangley, Houston Alexander and Paul Daley all notched wins. Also, “broadcasters” Don Frye and Bas Rutten said a bunch of crazy stuff live on pay-per-view. Especially Frye, who — after claiming that he threatened Shark Fights promoters with death if they didn’t put him on the show — reportedly dropped at least one F-bomb, made jokes about beating his wife and then compared the whole thing to an extended session of violent and satisfying coitus.

Basically, it was the kind of performance that, in any other sport, would cause a major scandal, Frye’s immediate firing and the issuing of a vague and halfhearted apology on Sunday morning. In independent MMA, it’s just par for the course.

"That was like two hours of hard, rough sex,” Frye reportedly said to close out the PPV. “I need a shot of tequila and a cigarette now."

C’mon Don, like you weren’t doing shots of tequila the whole time.

(Fickett vs. Prater in the final. Props for all vids: YouTube/ZombieProphet MMA)

It took Drew Fickett all of seven minutes, 38 seconds of actual fighting to cut a swath through the Shine Fights lightweight tournament on Friday night. Three fights, three choke-out victories for the Arizona fighter now apparently billing himself as “The Night Rider.” By comparison, Carlo Prater – Fickett’s opponent in the final – had already lost a three-round split decision, then won a two-round majority scorecard verdict by the time they met up in the evening’s last bout. Can’t blame Prater for looking a little bit “over it” by the time he and Fickett locked horns, in light of that.

After the jump, check out Fickett’s road to the final, including his ugly arm-in guillotine on Charles “Kid Kaos” Bennett. Seriously guys, just pick a nickname and stick with it …

(Fight starts at 2:45. VidProps: YouTube/ ZombieProphetMMA)

Alas, we’ll never know if Antonio McKee really would have made good on his threat to retire if his MFC lightweight title match against Luciano Azevedo went to decision on Friday. McKee, who’d promised to beat Azevedo like he cheated him at dice, needed just three minutes, 11 seconds to stop the 26-year-old Brazilian, after gashing him open with a pair of nasty right elbows on (where else?) the ground.

Give McKee some credit, he doesn’t look like a boring fighter here. Though this fight is marred by an early low blow by Azevedo, McKee slams him to the mat immediately after the restart — “Boom-shaka-laka!” yells the always understated Michael Schiavello, at that point — and goes to work with punches and elbows. As soon as Azevedo sees his own blood – “Blood is absolutely pissing out!” shouts Schiavello, ever elegant – the fight is pretty much over. After that, it takes McKee an uncharacteristic extra minute on the mic before he starts saying crazy stuff. Then he calls out some UFC guys.

By ReX “Go Panthers” Richardson

Well, Bellator rolled up into New Orleans on Thursday night, and there was incoherent speech, attractive women in small outfits, and some dudes got into a few fights. Bjorn Rebney made some interesting decisions for this one, since the show went off simultaneously with the first game of the NFL season, featuring last year’s SuperBowl Champion New Orleans Saints. At home. In New Orleans. This town is firmly behind their football team when they’re losing, and after a few winning seasons, it’s kinda impressive that more than a handful of people showed up at the Mahalia Jackson Theatre. (My guess is they’re either die-hard MMA fans or they hate America.) It’s pretty ballsy to put a card here this week, but Rebney’s father is the goddamn Winnebago Man, so if you don’t agree with him you can just fuck off. Also noteworthy is that there are no tournament bouts on the card, for the first time in 28 shows, but winners here will presumably show up next season in a bracket.

If you don’t mind listening to a play by play to something that went down two days ago, come on in and I’ll tell you about Bellator XXVIII. Special inside: the Brazilian Jiu Jitsu move you must try in bed!

(Video courtesy YouTube/lookoutawhale)

- Tim Sylvia to compete in Japanese pro wrestling (mmafighting)

- DV hotties in the wild (doubleviking)

- Paul Daley misses weight for Saturday Shark Fights bout (mmajunkie)

- Amazing Race watermelon face smash (break)

- Post TUF: The top 20 TUF fighters (bleacherreport)

- Resident Evil: Afterlife actress Sienna Guillory (screenjunkies)

- Young guns on display at UFN 22 (versus, by our man Chad Dundas)

- Made Man’s ultimate Vegas vacation (mademan)

- Why the Jets are overrated (scoresreport)

- Great moments in MTV Video Music Awards history (holytaco)

- Shalorus vs. Palaszewski in the works for WEC 52 (heavy)

- Daley didn’t appreciate Dana’s pink slip delivery (mmaweekly)

- Bibiano Fernandes finally gets paid by DREAM and says he likely won’t fight outside of Japan (tatame)

 
(Look up "shit-eating grin" in the dictionary and you’ll find this photo.)

I’m sure most of us have gone back to an ex-girlfriend’s apartment after a break-up to retrieve a few things. A pair of shoes, the Pixies CD that mysteriously went missing from your car or the $100 you leant her so she could get her hair streaked — whatever it was, you paid for it and you wanted it back; so much so, that were willing to stomach having to see your replacement sitting shirtless on her sofa and resist the urge to head-kick his smug smile out the window as you waited to get your shit back.

The difference between most of us — okay, all of us — and Floyd Mayweather Jr. is that he made more in his last fight than all of CP’s readers combined will likely make this year and that all of the items most of us would swallow our pride to get back, he could replace with the money he has in the ashtray of one of his 20 cars.

In spite of that fact,  he managed to get thrown in jail for stealing his ex’s $500 iPhone.

(Make sure your speakers are turned all the way up before you hit play. Props: gonzagabjj)

As we occasionally do when it’s Friday and we’re bored — and my God are we bored — it’s time to give away some CagePotato t-shirts to the commenters who made us laugh this week. But first, a classic comment from last month that we never got around to honoring:

El Famous Burrito on "Behold Tim Sylvia’s New Belt He Will be Wearing Everywhere He Goes": Thousands of years from now, the discovery of a mayonnaise-cured vinyl belt around a giant human skeleton is going to turn ape society upside down.

And now, this week’s big winners…

danomite on "Can Anybody Explain What the F*ck Gabriel Gonzaga Is Talking About?": I love the "car have no key’ video. He should do a whole series where he’s just fascinated by technology.
This lamp…it go on when…walk by. I….no touch…buttons. I don’t have to turn on….clap twice…light go on….clap twice more time….light go off.

RWilsonR on "Hot Potato: Sarah McDowd": It’s odd, though… when I look at her, I wonder what her original nose looked like, but I have no interest in what her original breasts looked like.

smiledriver on "Video: Nick Ring – Oh No You Didn’t!": I would have sex with Nick Ring just to keep this joke going.

If your name has been called, please send your name, address, and t-shirt size to contest@cagepotato.com. Enjoy the weekend, Potato Nation.