Steroids in MMA
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January, 2011

Strikeforce Diaz vs. Cyborg: Live Results and Commentary

("I thought you said you were Mr. Cyborg?") 

Here we are with Strikeforce’s first major event of the 2011, or as we like to call it, their first shot at fucking up the good things they did last year.

Although rumor has it Gus Johnson won’t be in the broadcast booth tonight, he promises that he’ll bring his MMA-retarded rhetoric back in time for the first round of the Strikeforce Heavyweight Grand Prix in February, despite the fact that HDNet has announced Michael Shiavello and Bas Rutten will be added to the announce team — at least for the prelims.

With no GuJo to screw up the broadcast and no feuds brewing between the Diaz’s and opponents they’ll likely never face, there’s a pretty good chance that this event could go off with out a hitch. The only thing that could knock this ship off course would be for Cyborg to upset Diaz and for Lawler to knock out Jacare.

And for the record, we WANT Strikeforce to succeed more than we want to see Justin Bieber fall down a flight of stairs, it’s just that they haven’t exactly given us a lot of indicators that they’re ready to go head-to-head with Zuffa’s Evil Empire (Just kidding, Dana. Ben doesn’t want to get fucked again.)

Let’s get this thing going. Spoilers after the jump. Refresh often.


Coker Keeps Talking Diaz-Mayhem, But Still May Not Fully Grasp his Role as Strikeforce CEO

("Diaz vs. Miller? I’d love to, but I think I’m busy that weekend." PicProps: MMA Convert)

Even after last week’s revelation that it would take “a couple fucking million dollars” to get Nick Diaz to meet Jason “Mayhem” Miller at a catchweight, Strikeforce CEO Scott Coker says he’s still interested in making that fight … just not so interested that he’d actually take an active role in trying to book it. According to a story out on MMA Weekly this weekend, Coker says he didn’t even call Diaz manager Cesar Gracie during the recent period of negotiation when the fight almost happened, then didn’t.

“Sometimes I’ll call Cesar, but on that occasion I didn’t call Cesar and I let my guys handle it, and it was really close,” Coker said. “I thought it was going to happen, but at the last minute it fell apart. I know weight was definitely one of the issues. The weight they say, ‘Oh it’s only two pounds, three pounds,’ but you know what? When you’re two or three percent body fat, five percent body fat, there’s just not a lot to lose and we just couldn’t bridge the gap. In the future, I’d still like to put that fight together because I think they have some unfinished business with that match-up.”


Abe Wagner Kicks Tim Sylvia’s Fat Ass

(VidProps: YouTube/ZPsBackUp)

Tim Sylvia showed up at Titan Fighting Championships on Friday night looking very much like a 311-pound man who knew he had to get this over with in a hurry. Unfortunately for the rotund former UFC champ, Abe Wagner had the same idea. Both guys came out of their corners throwing heavy leather and it was Wagner – a +355 underdog despite appearing to have trained at least one day for this bout – who got to Sylvia first. He clipped the “Maine-iac” with a right hand above the eye in the early going and drove him across the cage flurrying punches (that mostly missed) before Sylvia ran out of real estate on the other side. There he was felled like a giant, flabby redwood by a left to the jaw and another right. When referee Jason Herzog jumped in to call a stop to the action, then hesitated, Wagner responded exactly as a fighter should in that circumstance: He walked away and started celebrating, creating such an awkward situation that Herzog had no choice but to wave things off.

Sylvia tried to protest the stoppage, but you could tell he was on wobbly legs. And not just because they were covered in cellulite, either.  The end came in just 32 seconds which – to answer Michael Schiavello and Frank Trigg’s question – is four seconds fewer than it took Fedor to topple Sylvia. The current part-time cop said prior to this bout that he believes police work will “help fill the void” when the time comes for him to retire from MMA. That time may be now. Fill the void, Tim. Fill it with something besides ice cream sandwiches.


Friday Link Dump

(Video courtesy of YouTube/MMADigest)

- Creepers who text (doubleviking)

– Strikeforce weigh-in results (mmafighting)

–  Dan Miller compares MMA to motocross (therugged)

–  Debunking the calorie myth (bullz-eye)

–  More on the Freire stand-up with Nick Lembo (thegarv)

–  What TV and movies get wrong about sex (mademan

–  Melvin Guillard says Cesar Gracie is jealous of Greg Jackson (middleeasy)

– Rich Franklin breaks down Silva vs. Belfort (heavy)

–  Tracy Morgan says something nice about Sarah Palin (tuvez)

–  Zuffa adds pieces to UFC 129 puzzle (sherdog)

- Overeem says Velasquez is the number one heavyweight in the world (bjpenn)


Warning: Don’t Try to Act Tough While Sparring With Wanderlei Silva

(props: burchfootball3)

CagePotato reader Stephen B. writes:

"Not sure who I should send this to, but I thought you would like to see a video from an MMA seminar I went to this past weekend in Charleston, WV. Wandy was in attendance and after demonstrating various techniques, he began sparring with individuals. This was all going pretty well, being that most people understood that he was an animal and respected that at any moment he could destroy their ability to operate their limbs. That is, until a young upstart at the age of 16 chose to show off in front of everyone. It turned out less than favorable for him…Enjoy."

That 16-year-old kid is lucky to be alive after disrespecting Master Silva with his insolent turning side kick. The ensuing bear-slap is pretty epic, and you gotta love how the entire class groans when the kid starts into his Royce Gracie-style heel-chops at the 0:37 mark. I think everyone there learned a valuable lesson at that seminar — when Wanderlei Silva asks you to spar with him, don’t. A reverse angle of the video is after the jump.


Five Reasons Why You Should Watch Strikeforce Tomorrow Night

By Cage Potato contributor S.C. Michaelson

(Hmm..Guess they ran out of space for Cyborg and Gracie on the poster.)

Saturday’s Strikeforce event is the promotion’s first non-Challengers event of 2011. Unfortunately, it’s been toiling in the shadows of the much-anticipated Heavyweight Grand Prix and hasn’t received much in the way of coverage. There are quite a few reasons to tune in this weekend.

Here are five big ones.

Herschel Walker, Genetic Freak
Though only a novice in the game of mixed martial arts, Hershel Walker is no stranger to high levels of competition. His athletic accolades read like a novel. College football Heisman trophy winner, All-Pro NFL running back, track and field star, black belt in Tae Kwon Do, Olympic bobsledder. Yes, Olympic bobsledder. And after all of this, Walker decides to throw his hat into the cage and try MMA. Did I mention he’s 48? Now, in MMA that may not seem special as we have our own version of a 48-year old wonder in Randy Couture, but Couture looks every year of 48. Walker, on the other hand, could pass for a man in his early 30s and has the physique that men in their athletic primes dream to attain. Herschel Walker, at 48, might be the greatest physical specimen to step foot in an MMA ring or cage…ever.


On Eve of Second MMA Fight, Herschel Walker Still Making Outlandish Claims About Pretty Much Everything

(Apologies if the vid takes awhile to load. You try squeezing all of Walker’s BS in to a simple embed code. VidProps: Shoot Media)

We’ve been pretty studiously ignoring Herschel Walker since his bout with Scott Carson got postponed back in November. Somewhere along the way we just got tired of the guy’s running patter. Even last week when the mainstream media grabbed hold of his offhand comment about trying to make a comeback to the NFL when he turns 50 and trumpeted it from the rooftops like it was some kind of actual news, we turned a deaf ear. For our money, 48-year-old dude wants to fight? No big deal. He’s semi-famous, so we gotta put him on the main card? We get it. For real though, the fact that Strikeforce has to go out and sign no-name opponents for the express purpose of getting beat up by Herschel Walker in 220-pound catchweight fights pretty much says it all about the legitimacy of his MMA career.

However, this latest video from the good people at Shoot Media – who in all honesty do pretty great work – sparked our interest. Mostly because it successfully falls in line with the standard Rich-Athlete-Makes-Sacrifices-to-Pursue-his-True-Passion clichés while still giving us a nod and a wink about what an odd, odd man we’re dealing with here. Among other dubious claims made in this vid, Walker says he was just a fat kid with a speech impediment from small town Georgia that no one thought would amount to squat. You know, until it turned out he was one of the greatest natural athletes of all time, rushed for over 3,000 yards in high school, became a national prep scholar-athlete of the year and went on to become maybe the greatest college running back in history. Still, those early years were pretty touch-and-go.


Attention Strikeforce: JZ Cavalcante Needs to Eat, Wants to Fight

(Despite not being able to afford a shirt, JZ remains upbeat about the situation.)

When you’re a fighter and your income is dependant on how often you fight, it’s understandable that you might get a bit upset when your employer, without explanation, keeps you out of work for an extended period of time.

Such is the case with Gesias Cavalcante.

"JZ" has been sitting on the sidelines waiting since October for Strikeforce to call to tell him when he would be fighting next. Unfortunately for the American Top Team lightweight his phone has been silent the past three months so he decided to take matters into his own hands and contacted the San Jose-based promotion to see what was up.

Not surprisingly, he was given the runaround.

“I’m basically in the dark. I wanted to fight on either the December or January Strikeforce card. I was told they were full, so I was told I’d be fighting in the February show," JZ, who signed a four-fight deal with SF prior to his last fight explains. "That got full, so I heard March would be it. But that’s coming up quickly. I don’t know when or who I’m fighting.


Behold, the Arianny Celeste Fathead

Arianny Celeste fathead life sized wall sticker UFC ring girl
(My God, that’s the worst sunburn I’ve ever seen. Images courtesy of via CageWriter)
Arianny Celeste fathead life sized wall sticker UFC ring girl  Arianny Celeste fathead life sized wall sticker UFC ring girl

In case your Brock Lesnar and Georges St. Pierre Fatheads need company, Arianny Celeste is now selling a "Super Lifesized Wallsticker" on her store page. For just $49.99, a 5’7" two-dimensional representation of the UFC Octagon Girl can be yours to slap onto any flat surface. Check out that first thumbnail image, in which the Arianny wallsticker is displayed in what appears to be an Ikea model-bedroom — so unlike any bedroom that this sticker would actually be displayed in. Where are the bags of Cheetos? The TapouT-brand bed-sheets? The bottle of hand lotion on the end-table? A little truth in advertising would be nice, that’s all I’m saying…


Tim Sylvia Is Still a Fatty Boom-Boom

Tim Sylvia Titan FC 16 Abe Wager weigh-ins fat
(Tim’s impressive physique can be credited to his sports-nutritionist, John Belushi. / Photo courtesy of

Tonight at the Historic Memorial Hall in Kansas City, Kansas, former UFC heavyweight champ Tim Sylvia will take a break from almost suplexing mental ladies to face TUF 10 castmember Abe Wagner in the super-heavyweight main event of Titan Fighting Championship 16. Weigh-ins were yesterday, and Timmy punished the scales at 311 pounds, which is basically what he weighed for his ill-fated bout against Ray Mercer in June 2009. Back then, we took his weight as a sign that he wasn’t taking his opponent or training seriously. But just look at that grin in the photo above. Sylvia is owning his girth. It’s where he wants to be. 

We can’t seem to find full weigh-in results for the event, but we will say that Abe Wagner is looking mad beefy, and appears to be a hell of a lot more serious about the whole thing than his "aw fuck it" opponent. The Titan FC 16 main card will be broadcast on HDNet tonight at 10 p.m. ET. The full lineup — which also features UFC vets Rich Clementi, Drew McFedries, and Jason High — is after the jump…