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21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

January, 2011

Ryan Jimmo’s ‘Big Deal Blog’ Number Five: Weekly Workouts, No Excuses and Losing Weight Through Science

(If it were any man other than Bas, he’d be getting a punch in the mouth.)

Undefeated in the past four years, at 13-1 Ryan Jimmo is one of Canada’s most promising MMA prospects.

The Big Deal is in the thick of training camp for a championship bout with fellow Canadian Dwayne Lewis at MFC 28 on February 25 in Edmonton Alberta and has offered to write about his preparations for the biggest fight of his career via a weekly training blog published every week leading up to the fight here at CagePotato.com.

Check out Ryan’s latest entry after the jump.

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Sergei Kharitonov Continues to Do His Best Ivan Drago Impersonation


(“He is not human. He is like piece of short, balding iron.” PicProps: Tapology)

As we all discovered when a recent Gambling Addiction Enabler questioned our collective manhood about betting on the Strikeforce heavyweight grand prix, former Pride/Dream/K-1 slugger Sergei Kharitonov is currently paying off at fairly epic +2000 odds to win the whole shebang. Now, if we didn’t believe this tourney was headed for chaotic disaster and/or we thought there was a chance in hell those shady internet bookies would make good on a sizable bet, we’d actually consider Kharitonov something of a steal at those odds. Especially since he’s coming out of the weak-sauce side of the bracket and – as he reminds us in a new interview with Tapology.com this week – he’s already beaten two of the so-called favorites.

“People like to think they are experts on things they think they know,” Kharitonov says. “I beat Alistair (Overeem) and (Fabricio) Werdum and (accomplished) that at a time when my stand-up skills were not 25 percent (of) what (they are) now. You do the math.”

In fact, the Russian-paratrooper-turned-Golden-Glory-kickboxer says a bunch of totally badass stuff to Tapology. Stuff that only becomes more badass when you imagine him saying it in monotone, heavily-accented English like a certain 1980s movie villain we could mention. Case-in-point, Kharitonov’s message for first-round opponent Andrei Arlovski: “I will break you.” That’s right, he said it.

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UFC Fight for the Troops II Fallout: Hague Cut Again, Guymon Retires, Mitrione, Freire, Dunham and Roop Medically Suspended


(A few of the victims who felt the wrath of Fight for the Troops II.)

Here we are five days out from last weekend’s Fight for the Troops II show and word has begun trickling out about the statuses of a few of the fighters on the card.

The Texas Commission of Licensing and Regulation announced on Tuesday that it had suspended five fighters who fought at the event held at the Fort Hood military base in Killeen, Texas.

Williamy Freire (out indefinitely for right hand and right cheek injuries)
Matt Mitrione  (out indefinitely for a broken second metacarpal on his left hand) Tim Hague (out until February 22 as precaution due to TKO), George Roop (out until February 22 as precaution due to TKO) and Evan Dunham (out until February 22 as precaution due to TKO) were all handed down suspensions this week.

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52 Year-Old Dan Severn to Fight for a Heavyweight Title this Weekend


(Those "breaking glass" sound effects don’t program themselves, people. VidProps: YouTube/Elite1 MMA)

Couple things you need to know about this Elite1 MMA promotion that will reportedly give ancient old man Dan Severn a chance to win its heavyweight title this Saturday night at a casino in Moncton, New Brunswick (that’s in Canada): First, current champ Scott Fraser is just 3-1 and two of those wins come over the same guy – an apparent light heavyweight named Dan Fowler, who is 2-3 overall but was a respectable 2-1 the first time he and Fraser fought. The other guy Fraser beat? One Jeff “Viking” Lundburg, who is currently 1-7 and riding a four-fight losing streak. Don’t tell Justin Wren about this, you guys. For the record, that gives Severn (listed at 96-16-7, by Sherdog) an experience edge of 115 fights over Fraser.

The second thing you need to know about Elite1 MMA? A cool $40 (Canadian) will get you in the door, so if you live anywhere in the greater Northumberland Straight-area, you might as well check it out. Severn, who’s been averaging a half-dozen fights per year since 1994, is in the midst of a seven fight win-streak and has won 18-of-his-last-20, all over no-name dudes at smaller shows. His last six bouts were all fought under the King of the Cage banner, so they probably weren’t even fixed. Probably.

Fun fact: According to the Dog’s fight finder, in 119 fights Severn has only been knocked out once. Top that, Couture.

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Eight MMA Fights That Were Over Before They Started

Patrick Cote Anderson Silva injured knee MMA photos
(Actually, make that the “9 MMA Fights That Were Over Before They Started.”)

By Cage Potato contributor Chris Colemon

Your average Mixed Martial Artist devotes three months of his life to preparing for a fight. That’s ninety days of rigorous training and dieting; ninety days of mental preparation and time spent away from friends and family. That great sacrifice becomes worthwhile the moment the bell rings and he gets to show the world what ninety days of commitment can bring. There are few better ways of displaying your hard work than to shut down your opponent in the blink of an eye. After months of speculation, hype, and anticipation, you could say that such fights were over before they even began. You could say that, but you’d be wrong. That ignoble distinction belongs to a whole other category of fights. Fights that didn’t end with a winner and a loser. Fights that didn’t make the sacrifice of training worthwhile. Fights that were truly over before they began.

Check them out after the jump.

Matt Serra vs. Johil de Oliveira (PRIDE 9: New Blood)

(Who knew the fiery background of Oliveira’s PRIDE photo would actually predict his fate that night?)

MMA in itself is purely a sport, but every promotion walks a line somewhere between sport and entertainment; where that line is drawn is up to each organization. While some fans prefer the more straightforward, professional production values of the UFC, others long for the rich pageantry and theatrics of Pride. No matter where you stand, everyone likes a fight full of fireworks. Well, everyone other than Johil de Oliveira. A victim of Pride’s WWF-esque walkouts, de Oliveira was warming up backstage for his Pride 9 bout with Matt Serra when he stepped on part of the pyrotechnic display, setting it off like a landmine. He was rushed to the hospital with serious burns, setting a record for ‘most baked fighter’ that would stand until Pride 33. Johil would recover and fight again just six months later, though he still suffers the inability to shave frequently or sunbathe – a fate worse than death for a Brazilian.

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Total Jinx Alert: Soares Wants Anderson Silva to Retire ‘Undefeated in the UFC’


("On our way in here, we totally walked under a ladder. Anybody got an umbrella? Pop that shit open." PicProps: Us.)

In other sports, they have rules about this kind of thing. In baseball, dude has a perfect game going, you’re not allowed to go anywhere near him in the dugout, let alone fuck around and say some dumb shit like, “Hey, Nolan! I sure hope you can close out this perfect game!” In football, whenever you hear a play-by-play announcer say something about how a kicker hasn’t missed a field goal all year, well, you pretty much know what’s coming next, right? In MMA these rules seemingly don’t apply, as manager Ed Soares made a recent appearance on MMA Weekly radio and spoke with an apparent disregard for Anderson Silva’s current 12-fight win-streak in the Octagon, and 13 consecutive victories overall.

“In a perfect world, I’d like to see Anderson retire going undefeated in the UFC,” Soares said. “If I could have my perfect world, that’s what I would love to see.”

Well shit, Ed, you unbelievable jinx, you.  If Silva goes out and immediately drops the strap to Vitor Belfort next month, I guess we know who to blame …

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Video: Tim Sylvia Takes Us Along For a Night Shift With the Milan Police Department

(Video courtesy YouTube/HDNetFights)

If you didn’t believe us when we told you that Tim Sylvia is a part-time cop in Illinois, maybe the ride-along video above will convince you. 

Notice that the department made Big Tim shave off his goatee and those trademark mutton chops — not because they have a dress code, just because they thought he looked ridiculous. Rumor has it they eventually made him stop wearing his Powerhouse World Promotions heavyweight strap while on duty, too.

The former UFC heavyweight champ’s worries that nobody would recognize him were soon squashed.

"I”ve been recognized a few times pulling guys over," he explains. "Some guys when I pull up and ask for their license, registration, insurance, they’re like, ‘Are you Tim Sylvia?’ and I’m like, ‘Yeah.’ ‘That’s cool, man. I just got pulled over by Tim Sylvia,’ and I’m like, ‘Well, be safe, slow down and have a good day.’"

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Exclusive Video: Keith Jardine Talks About Getting His Career Back on Track, the Nemesis Fighting Debacle and His Next Fight


CagePotato.com Video Interview with UFC vet Keith Jardine – Watch more Funny Videos

Our video reporter at large, Sal Mora recently caught up with former UFC light heavyweight standout Keith Jardine at his recently opened Mean1 MMA & Fitness gym in Albuquerque, NM and broached a number of topics with "The Dean of Mean."

Jardine gave us the scoop on what went down in the Dominican Republic during the nightmare Nemesis Fighting show on December 11 and also outlined his goals for 2011, which include stringing together a few solid wins and making his way back to the UFC. He recently helped establish PaytheFighters.com, a not-for-profit website whose purpose is to raise money to pay all of the short changed fighters on the Nemesis card.

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Justin Wren Kills Pig, Puts ‘Poser’ Viking Brock Lesnar On Blast


(Props: Photobucket)

Dude. We almost don’t know what to say. Former “TUF 10” contestant and UFC washout Justin Wren apparently went on a “hunting trip” of sorts recently wherein he ripped out the heart of a wild pig with his bare hands (and a smallish knife) and feasted on it, then took a bunch of pictures of himself covered in the pig’s blood, *then* wrote a post on The Underground Forum basically calling Brock Lesnar a pussy and a “yuppy viking” for growing a shitty beard and killing deer with (of all things) a rifle. I mean, good God, what the fuck?

A 30-second look at Wren’s personal internet photo stream and/or his new website tells us he’s not kidding around about this Viking shit. There’s a picture of him on there in a helmet and animal pelts, carrying a warhammer and a battle axe and (possibly) wearing white jeans. White jeans, dude. Anyway, after the jump you can read Wren’s first-person account of slaying the pig. We have to warn you that it includes phrases like “waterfall of steaming hot blood” and “seeing it’s beating heart (and) stabbing it” so, you know, do so at your own risk.

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Brendan Schaub is Terrified of Mirko CroCop … And That’s Exactly How He Wants It


("Herb, thank God it’s you. I had the worst dream." PicProps: MMA Crazed)

Brendan Schaub is scared, you guys. Not just a little nervous, but borderline terrified. He’s afraid of what Mirko CroCop might do to him during their upcoming fight at UFC 128. He’s afraid of losing – this fight, the money, the momentum in the heavyweight division – and he’s afraid of what people will say about him if he does lose. The last thing Schaub wants is to have to spend another three months moping around the house like he did after getting KTFOed by Roy Nelson at the “TUF 10” finale. He doesn’t want to have to listen to the haters say “I told you so,” and he damn sure doesn’t want to face his teammates at Grudge Training Center on the heels of another defeat. That’s why Schaub tells MMA Fighting.com on Wednesday that he makes a point of scaring the bejesus out of himself before every fight.

"Every guy I fight, I create just this monster out of him,” Schaub says. “It doesn’t matter who it is – (Chris) Tuchscherer, Chase Gormley – I just make them into these nightmares. It makes me train harder and makes me so much sharper in the cage. It gets me focused."

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