Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

March, 2011

Round 5 Releases Another Series of MMA Action Figures That *Vaguely* Resemble Fighters They’re Modeled After

(Morton Downey Jr. is not impressed with these action figures.)

Keeping with its tradition of producing head-scratchingly non-resembling miniature renditions of MMA fighters and personalities, Round 5 announced today the release of its sixth series of action figures.

Instead of posting a photo of the latest wave of figures, who, besides their hairstyles and accessories, really don’t capture the likenesses of the people they’re based on (at all), we figured we’d let you decide who they *really* look like.

After the jump are the faces of 24 of Round 5′s figures, including the six from the set to be released this spring.


Strikeforce Women’s Middleweight Champ Cris Cyborg in Contract Limbo

(“Don’t move, Gina. This is how we’ll get mainstream acceptance.”)

Strikeforce hasn’t announced when  Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos will next defend her belt, and according to the dominant women’s middleweight champion, it’s not because she isn’t ready. It’s because she doesn’t have a contract.

Cyborg told Tatame recently that her contract ran out after her last fight with Jan Finney last June and she hasn’t spoken with Scott Coker and company about re-signing with the recently Zuffa-acquired promotion in the nine months since the bout.

“Currently I don’t have a contract signed, but on my former contract there was something saying that for a year I’m connected to the [promotion] but we might sign a new one.  I believe the fact that the UFC bought Strikeforce is a good thing for women, because we have two years to do a good job and prove them our value —  to prove it to Dana White,” she explains. “I’m not anxious and I’m not worried. I’m happy and I keep on training.”


Satoshi Ishii’s Strikeforce Debut Postponed Due to Visa Problems

(“Well, maybe *you* can’t tell the difference between 18k gold and 14k gold…”)

Though he was slated to face Scott Lighty in a featured light-heavyweight matchup at this Friday’s Strikeforce Challengers event at the Stockton Arena in Sad City, Olympic gold-medalist judoka Satoshi Ishii has been forced to withdraw from the fight. Strikeforce announced this morning that due to the recent natural disasters in Japan, Ishii was unable to acquire a visa permitting him to leave his homeland in time for the event. Stepping in for him will be Lorenz Larkin, an undefeated knockout-artist who is currently 9-0 as a pro, following a 7-0 amateur career.

The Stockton Challengers show — headlined by a lightweight meeting between Justin Wilcox and Rodrigo Damm — would have been Ishii’s first MMA appearance in the United States. After losing his MMA debut in a decision to Hidehiko Yoshida on New Year’s Eve 2009, Ishii went 4-0 in 2010, with notable victories over Ikuhisa Minowa and Jerome Le Banner. Maybe when his visa issues are sorted out, a judoka vs. judoka bout between Ishii and fellow Strikeforce light-heavyweight Rhadi Ferguson is in order.


Strategic Call-Outs Alert: Hardy Wants Lytle; Johnson, Hendricks Would Also Like to Pick Their Next Opponents

(If only he put as much time and energy into choosing a barber. Hi-yo! Pic: Dan Wait, Dan Hardy is an org?)

Well, this is getting pretty goddamned transparent. First everybody and their dog wants a coin-flip fight against Wanderlei Silva, then Ryan Bader responds to the first loss of his career by calling out Tito Ortiz and now – fresh off his own third consecutive defeat in the Octagon — Dan Hardy is suddenly very interested in fighting Chris Lytle. You know, just for the purposes of putting on “an old school shootout with a guy that wants to throw down” and stuff like that. We’re sure it has nothing to do with Hardy desperately needing a win.

“Screw the rankings, records are for DJs,” Hardy tweeted on Sunday, as part of a Twitter barrage expressing his frustration with losing a “boring” fight to Anthony Johnson at UFN 24. Once again the whole “mixed” part of mixed martial arts bit another standup-oriented fighter in the ass as Johnson first toppled Hardy with a head kick, then dominated him with his wrestling skills en route to a unanimous decision. After the trio of losses, Hardy’s job was saved only by the fact Dana White “fucking loves that kid” (his words) and now Hardy just so happens to fancy a matchup with one of the throw-downiest guys who ever threw down, yet doesn’t have a ton of knockout power. Must be coincidence.

Anyhow, after the jump we took the liberty of condensing Hardy’s irritation into one easily-digestible quote. Plus, find out what fights Johnson and Johny Hendricks also envision for themselves …


Where Are They Now? — A Brief History of Zuffa Buying Its Competition

Zuffa logo MMA UFC globe world
(“The world, chico. And everything in it.”)


The more I think about it, the less faith I have in it. “Business as usual” seems to be the motto for the UFC after their historic purchase of Strikeforce. It came as a surprise to all of us when Ariel Helwani held the mic under Dana White’s chin to reveal an acquisition that made many MMA fans’ stomachs tie themselves into knots.

Some fans reacted positively to Zuffa’s latest splurge, citing that the best talent would now be under one roof and that all the fights we have been dying for can finally come true. Older fans like myself were more than skeptical; we had seen this before and we knew the chances of this situation being any different were as slim as Gina Carano making weight for a fight on her first attempt.

Let’s take a quick jump into the way-back machine and look at the previous transactions of Zuffa and see what has happened to other companies that were scooped under its umbrella, starting with their most important purchase…

Zuffa buys the UFC – 2001
Station Casino owners Frank Fertitta III and Lorenzo Fertitta joined forces with young entrepreneur (and former aerobics-instructor) Dana White in 2001 to make a purchase that would end up changing the course of sports history. White convinced the Fertittas to buy the assets to the UFC, which in 2001 was still black-listed from television and seemingly on its last legs.

Bob Meyrowitz, owner of the UFC, along with Semaphore Entertaintment Group, sold Zuffa the rights to all of the intellectual properties of the UFC for $2 million. At the time, it was a risky investment at that price, but now, it’s more than a bargain. Nonetheless, Zuffa pushed on and begun the battle to legalize MMA around the country and get the sport back on pay-per-view. They finally returned to PPV with UFC 33, which turned out to be disastrous, as the show cut off during the main event.


‘Cage vs. Cons’ Somehow Still Operational; Danny Trejo, Tiny Lister Sign On to Host First Show

(Well, this just *screams* legitimacy. Pic: Cage vs. Cons)

My God, we had totally forgotten about this debacle: About a year ago we told you that a couple of janky promoters out in Hollyweird were set to launch a series of live MMA shows pitting a stable of “good guy” professional fighters against “bad boy” former convicts and criminals. At the time, the whole venture – called “Cage vs. Cons,” you’ll remember – seemed too hokey to become reality. Well, guess again, as a reader tip pointed out this week that somehow nobody has stepped in to pull the plug on this walking corpse and its official website says “Cage vs. Cons” is actually gearing up for its first show in May.

But, but, but wait, it gets worse (yes, that’s an Onyx reference for all you 30-somethings): Cage vs. Cons has allegedly inked well known character actors Danny Trejo and Tommy “Tiny” Lister – better known as “Machete” from, uh, “Machete” and “Deebo” from “Friday,” respectively – to be “hosts” of sorts for the first event. And yes, the website actually refers to Lister as “Deebo” half the time as if that’s his real name. They’ve also released a complete-ish lineup of fights (so, they’re one step ahead of the average Strikeforce show) and are advertising live performances from a boatload of rappers we’ve heard of before. The particulars, including the bitchin’ “Cage vs. Cons” theme song – by a group called Big Twins – are all after the jump.


Increasing Speculation That He Will Fight at UFC Rio: Royce Gracie Reportedly Pulls Out of UK Seminar Tour to Focus on Training for Fight in August

(The question is, which weight class will Royce fight under?) received word over the weekend from a source close to the situation that Royce Gracie has cancelled the European leg of his spring seminar tour and that the official reason given to the group organizing his UK appearances (NJM promotions) is that the UFC Hall-of-Famer has accepted an offer from the promotion to fight on its August 27 card in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.

According to NJM, Gracie’s manager, Mike Kogan revealed the news to them, which was relayed to the seminar host gyms in an effort to explain why the 44-year-old UFC 1, 2 and 4 tournament winner would not be able to make his scheduled appearances in England.


The Gracie Breakdown: UFC Fight Night 24 Edition

If you think Twister is just a fun game to play drunk and naked, then #YouDontRoll.

In the interests of edifying our readers, we’d like to present you with the latest edition of the Gracie Breakdown.   We can’t have our readers being “that guy” that boos when fighters stop hitting each other and start rolling around on top of one another all gay and stuff.

True story: we overheard a guy at a bar explaining that the Gracie family is famous for their groundbreaking style of “Mexican wrestling.”  If you overhear someone drop a nugget of wisdom like that inside an establishment that shows UFC events *and* they serve alcohol, we recommend the following course of action:  buy that asshole a beer, buy one for yourself, and try to write down everything he says for the rest of the night.   Sure, you can teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime, but sometimes you owe it to yourself to sit on the beach and watch that moron pull up license plates and stingrays.
Anyways, watch Rener and Ryron analyze the historic Twister from UFN 24, then leave your newly-enlightened comments below.


Photo of the Day: Junior Dos Santos Interviewed by Huge-Assed Brazilian Woman on ‘TUF 13′ Set [UPDATED]

Junior Dos Santos brazilian girl woman ass MMA photos
(Okay, we’re just assuming she’s Brazilian. We apologize for perpetuating such a vile stereotype. Props: Sherdog via Lowkick) released an exclusive gallery of photos from the TUF 13 training facility, and there was one picture in particular that stuck out, so to speak. In fact, the chick in the yellow dress was so eye-catching, that we almost didn’t notice that her male counterpart was wearing a ridiculous fake nose. (Not sure what’s up with that. Maybe he’s Brazil’s answer to The Garv.) You can check out the full gallery here, although we have to warn you: There’s only one more photo of Girl in the Yellow Dress, and it’s a lot less flattering. We’ve placed it after the jump, for your convenience.

Update: We’ve now learned that the girl in question is Juliana Salimeni, and her fans are pushing for her to be a ring girl at UFC Rio.


Cruz vs. Faber 2 Booked for UFC 132 in July

Urijah Faber hide yo kids hide yo wife funny MMA photos photoshop Antoine Dodson
(Well now I want to see Dominick Cruz as Backin’ Up Lady. Props:

The UFC announced on Saturday that the bantamweight title fight between Dominick Cruz and Urijah Faber will go down at UFC 132, July 2nd at the Mandalay Bay Events Center in Las Vegas. Since taping for TUF 14 is expected to take place sometime this summer, it seems unlikely that Cruz and Faber will be tapped as coaches for The Ultimate Fighter‘s first bantamweight/featherweight season.

The two former WEC stars have shared some bad blood since the lead-up to their first fight at WEC 26 in March 2007. Upset that he wasn’t featured on the event poster, Cruz signed his name over Faber’s face — which the California Kid perceived as a sign of disrespect. Faber went on to score a guillotine choke victory in just 98 seconds, retaining his featherweight title.