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21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

May, 2011

Hioki Relinquishes Shooto Belt; Likely UFC-Bound


(Video courtesy of YouTube/EskriMMA)

Shooto featherweight champion Hatsu Hioki announced today that he has relinquished his belt and that he is moving on from the Japanese promotion in search of other challenges.

“At this time, I’ve returned the Shooto world lightweight title,” Hioki told Sherdog.com via email. “There is a pride in wearing the Shooto world title, but I think that, in the near future, I would like to challenge a new stage of pride.”

According to Sherdog, the popular 24-4-2 fighter, who holds a pair of wins over UFC featherweight contender Mark Hominick as well as one a piece over Takeshi “Lion” Inoue and Marlon Sandro, is being flown in to Vancouver, BC to attend UFC 131. I think we can all connect the dots on where he’s fighting next.

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Check Out Masato Toys’ Awesome New Steven Seagal Action Figure


(If only this were real.)

If you aren’t familiar with Masato Toys, it’s basically the body of work of a talented Photoshop artiste whose specialty is creating parody MMA action figures. You may have seen his work on various MMA forums in the past.

His latest masterpiece is this Steven Seagal figure, complete with, “official front-kick patent” and, “Gene Lebell restraining order.”

If this thing was real, we would have one.

You can find his work on the Masato Toys Inc Facebook page.

Check out some of our other favorites after the jump.

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UFC 130 Salary List: ‘Rampage’ and Mir Lead the Pack With $250k Checks

Gleison Tibau Rafaello Oliveira UFC 130
(Rear-naked chokes exist in a surplus in some markets, causing their value to be diluted, but their rarity at UFC 130 inflated their value to $70,000 apiece. See, I told you economics could be fun! Photo courtesy of Heavy.com.)

The UFC paid out $1,211,000 in disclosed salaries and bonuses to the fighters at UFC 130, according to new figures released by the Nevada State Athletic Commission. The highest paid fighters were headliner Quinton Jackson — whose salary was a flat $250,000 — and Frank Mir, who doubled his $125,000 to-show pay by defeating Roy Nelson. Three other fighters were able to crack the six-figure mark thanks to their $70,000 performance bonuses. The full UFC 130 payout list is below; keep in mind that the figures don’t include deductions for taxes, insurance, and license fees, or additional revenue from sponsorships and undisclosed discretionary bonuses.

Quinton “Rampage” Jackson: $250,000 (no win bonus)
def. Matt Hamill: $32,000

Frank Mir: $250,000 (includes $125,000 win bonus)
def. Roy Nelson: $15,000

Travis Browne: $86,000 (includes $8,000 win bonus, $70,000 Knockout of the Night bonus)
def. Stefan Struve: $21,000

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Anderson Silva Calls Chael Sonnen ‘A Loser in Every Sense,’ Criticizes Okami for Associating With Him

Anderson Silva Brazilian athletes mural UFC 134
(“And you made sure my nose looks like a big-ass clove of garlic? Okay, perfect.”)

We weren’t expecting much trash-talk in the lead-up to UFC 134‘s middleweight championship headliner between Anderson Silva and Yushin Okami — but the Spider continues to be the aggressor in the pre-fight war of words. This weekend, Silva gave an interview to Brazil’s O Globo newspaper, and expressed disappointment at Okami’s association with longtime training partner Chael Sonnen:

You have to find the best person to train you, and I think he chose wrong…I will never line up with a loser, a loser in every sense. [Sonnen] did not win the fight (against me), (he) was caught doping, is being sued for various things, and is suspended from the UFC…Want to be a champion? (Be) allied with good people.”

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Kurt Pellegrino Announces He’s Stepping Away From MMA Competition, Possibly Forever


(“At least I’ve still got my modelling career.”)

Remember when Kurt Pellegrino said he would retire if he lost to George Sotiropoulos at UFC 116 and then decided that because he was injured in the bout and came close to finishing G-Sots in the closing minutes, he was taking a do-over on his vow?

Well, it looks like Pellegrino made the same pledge to himself prior to his UFC 128 fight with Gleison Tibau as ‘Batman’ announced today via his personal website that he has opted to not sign a new contract with the UFC following back-to-back losses in the Octagon. Instead, the 16-6 Point Pleasant, NJ lightweight who is 7-5 in the UFC says he will shift his focus to his jiu-jitsu students and on improving his jiu-jitsu, wrestling and boxing skills for if and when he decides to make a return to fighting.

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Breakfast With a Champion, Featuring Alistair Overeem


(“You kick one little girl at a birthday party and nobody ever lets you live it down.”)

In an effort to constantly increase and improve our interactive offerings to the Potato Nation, we’ve come up with a new concept for a series of ongoing articles that will give our readers the opportunity to interact with some of MMA’s biggest stars.

We dubbed the series, “Breakfast With a Champion,” because we will be posting them early in the morning for you to read and because the concept is that you send us your questions for various titleholders and we forward them and post the replies here when we get them back.

The beauty of it is that you get to ask questions that typically don’t get asked by journalists and you get to contribute to the content you want to read in one of two ways: By posting questions for future guests and by suggesting which champs you want to take your questions.

We’ll do our best to get in touch with as many of them as we can and to answer as many of your questions as possible. All we ask is that you keep your questions respectful and that you spread the word about the series.

So without further adieu, check the first instalment of Breakfast With a Champion, featuring Alistair Overeem after the jump.

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Armchair Matchmaker: UFC 130 Edition

Roy Nelson Frank Mir
(Meanwhile in Roy’s stomach, a dozen undigested cheeseburgers cried for mercy. Photo courtesy of UFC.com)

Look, I was all for sweeping UFC 130 under the rug and never mentioning it again, but since ReX has shamed me into doing this, it’s time to look back at Saturday’s big winners (and big, big losers) and see if we can devise some future matchups for these guys that will actually produce interesting fights. Make it happen, tiny atheist.

Quinton Jackson: Dana White seems dead-set on giving Rampage a title shot if his hand is healthy enough to accept it. Ugh, terrible. Why the UFC isn’t interested in promoting the hottest rivalry in the sport is anybody’s guess. (And don’t give me that bullshit about “timing”; it’s more likely related to White’s personal feelings about Rashad Evans.) In a perfect world, Rampage sits out for a few months and faces the winner of Shogun vs. Forrest at UFC 134 in Rio. With losses to both on his record, I don’t think motivation would be an issue.

Matt Hamill: Sure, on paper Hamill was coming into the fight against Rampage with a five-fight win streak — but considering that the most impressive victory in that streak (by far!) was his knockout of Mark Munoz, you have to wonder where the Hammer really sits in the light-heavyweight pecking order. My first thought was that Hamill should face the resurgent Vladimir Matyushenko next — but Vlad already has a date in August. So give him the winner of Kyle Kingsbury vs. Fabio Maldonado at this Saturday’s TUF 13 Finale. Either Hamill rebounds, or a rising prospect gets a big-name notch on their belt. Seems win-win to me.

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Fedor-Henderson is Officially Official for 30 July


VidProps: TheAzyunyh2

Now that contracts have been signed and announcements have been made, we can officially start looking forward to seeing Fedor Emelianenko and Dan Henderson go at it later this summer. Sure, there’s no title on the line, and sure, there’s not much of anything on the line other than bragging rights, but according to a memo sent out to all MMA media and bloggers back in 2003, we are required to be excited anytime Fedor is set to fight, even if there are exactly zero fights announced for the rest of the card.

The promo trailer is a tried and true tool used to raise excitement for future matches, and it’s one tool that amateurs — by which we mean unpaid fans — usually outshine the pros. This is because, just like Mom’s cooking and anything that is still produced by hand, it’s made with love. Watch this video of Fedor and Henderson during their respective ups and downs over the past decade, and tell us you can’t feel the love. It’s that fuzzy feeling you get when the music syncs up just right and you feel tempted to jump up and fist pump.

Whatever you do, don’t jump out of your seat and fist pump at work! Everyone in the cubicle farm will see you, and you’re supposed to be working extra hard to make up for slacking off since last Wednesday. Just watch quietly and feel the love. Sure, it may feel like you’re just watching Fedor knock Brett Rogers’ face sideways, but believe us: it’s love.

[RX]

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Brad Tavares Steps in Against Aaron Simpson at UFC 132; ‘Mayhem’ vs. Bisping Now Slated for TUF 14 Finale

Phil Baroni Brad Tavares UFC 125
(If you hear something late at night / Some kind of trouble, some kind of fight / Just don’t ask me what it was…” Photo courtesy of MMAWeekly)

With Jason Miller being drafted for a high-profile gig coaching The Ultimate Fighter, Mayhem’s original UFC return opponent Aaron Simpson was left without a dance partner. However, the UFC confirmed last night that Simpson will remain on the UFC 132: Cruz vs. Faber 2 card (July 2, Las Vegas) against undefeated TUF 11 semi-finalist Brad Tavares.

Kind of a downgrade for Simpson in terms of name value, but Tavares (7-0) is one of the best prospects in the middleweight division, and is coming off a first-round knockout of Phil Baroni in January. During his stint on The Ultimate Fighter, he won three consecutive fights before being choked out by Court McGee in the semis, then outpointed Seth Baczynski at the Finale show.

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Brockwatch 2011 Continues as Lesnar Recovers From Surgery


Brock Lesnar has a gut feeling. It’s a bad feeling.

Brock Lesnar is reportedly convalescing from his latest dust up with diverticulitis, after undergoing scheduled surgery Friday to deal with the chronic and debilitating intestinal disorder. According to the Baldfather, Lesnar had “about twelve inches” of his colon removed, and there’s perhaps a bit of irony that Mr “Write That Down In Your Little Notebook” is uncomfortable in the bunghole region. “He said he’s a little sore, but the operation was a huge success,” says Dana.   Take it with a grain of salt, but Lesnar and the UFC are optimistic for a to return to the cage in early 2012.

Just in case you missed the important part in there, Brock Lesnar just lost about a foot of his large intestine.  Also,  how has no one mocked up the Trash Talking Kids “Eat Some Broccoli Lesnar” yet?

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