sloths funny photos album covers
Iconic Album Covers Replaced With Sloths

May, 2011

I’m Totally Up Out This B*tch, You Guys

(Warm up the bus. Pic: Combat Lifestyle)

Best part of it being my last day contributing to this website? Being able to blatantly violate a CagePotato ban without fearing any reprisals from the powers that be. Boom, you guys. Makes me feel a little bit like Tito Ortiz, to tell you the truth. Worst part of it being my last day contributing to this website? That’s probably the last time I’ll ever get to use the word bitch in a headline. My new employer has already laid down the law in terms of the swears, even the minor league ones. That’s the bad news. The good news, at least for you, is this: My understanding is that (drum roll, please) our friend ReX13 has agreed to step in to replace me as a daily contributor to this site. I know he’ll do a great job.

I have to say I’m going to miss you dudes. Even you, trolls and Russian computer spam commenters. But before we get all weepy and start slapping each other on the back while exchanging awkward bro grabs, keep in mind that I still should be pretty easy to find. You know, if you feel like it. Professionally and personally, I’m going to miss the spirited back-and-forth that goes on both out front and behind the scenes at this website. I’m going to miss the guys I work with who – regardless of what some of you think – are all really cool dudes. I’m even going to miss getting my ass handed to me in the comments section now and then. Nah, jokes. I’m actually not going to miss that at all.


Pro-Wrestling Legend “Macho Man” Randy Savage Dies in Car Crash

Earlier today, those of you who have an account on Twitter may have noticed rumors of the death of professional wrestling great “Macho Man” Randy Savage.  Unfortunately, has since confirmed those rumors.  His brother, Lanny “The Genius” Poffo stated in an article published this morning, “…the wrestling legend suffered a heart attack while he was behind the wheel around 9:25 AM … and lost control of his vehicle.”  The vehicle drove across a concrete median into oncoming traffic before crashing into a tree.  Savage, who was 58 years old, is survived by his wife Lynn.  Lynn was also in the car but suffered only minor injuries.  According to the police, both passengers were wearing their seatbelts at the time of the accident and alcohol was not a factor.

For those of you who don’t know (or are too cool to admit to knowing) who Randy Savage is, his bio on sums it up pretty well: Few superstars were as dynamic as “Macho Man” Randy Savage.  His style – perfectly punctuated by his entrance music, “Pomp and Circumstance” – was only outshined by his performances in the ring, which led him to two WWE Championships, two World Heavyweight Championships and a 14-month reign as Intercontinental Champion. Other in-ring accomplishments of Randy Savage include being the 1987 King of the Ring, as well as 4x WCW World Heavyweight champion.


Wait, What?: Matt Lindland Is Fighting Tomorrow in Poland, I Guess

Matt Lindland Strikeforce Robbie Lawler knockout MMA photos
(“Hey man, look on the bright side — if you had won, it would have ruined my parlay bet.”)

Talk about flying under the radar. Not sure how this slipped past us until just now, but apparently MMA veteran Matt Lindland will be facing Mamed Khalidov in the co-main event of KSW 16, tomorrow in Gdansk, Poland. (Remember when it was mentioned at Chael Sonnen’s appeals hearing that Lindland couldn’t be at the proceedings because he was in Poland? Yeah, that’s why.)

Lindland, who has suffered first-round stoppage losses in three of his last four fights, is coming off a brain-melting knockout loss to Robbie Lawler last December. Khalidov is on a two-fight win streak, and is returning to action after his quick, predictable submission of James Irvin at KSW’s last event in March.

KSW’s main event will be a heavyweight wheeze-off between strongman-turned-fighter Mariusz Pudzianowski — who’s coming off his submission-via-punches win over Butterbean — and James Thompson, who has secured just one victory in his last ten fights. I appreciated this bit from Sherdog’s weigh-in report:


Video: Ford Steals Win in the Third Against Parisyan Via Doctor Stoppage Due to Cut at MMA Live 1 Thursday

(Video courtesy of YouTube/

If there was any question as to whether or not Karo Parisyan has turned a corner from his highly publicized battle with anxiety and painkiller abuse, he answered it with his showing against Ryan Ford at MMA Live 1 in London, Ontario Canada last night.

Logging what was arguably his best performance of the past three years, Parisyan took the two opening rounds of the bout utilizing his flashy judo and ground control and was looking good in the opening minute of the third when Ford connected with a stiff knee to the crown of the Armenian judoka that opened up a nasty cut and left the mat soaked in blood. When Parisyan slipped in the puddle of blood, veteran referee Yves Lavigne called in the ringside physician who, after a few moments of deliberation, called the fight off, giving Ford the win via TKO at 1:26 of round 3.


Tim Kennedy Offers to Fight Michael Bisping for the Good of Mankind

(Guess if they’re gonna let *somebody* fight Bisping, it might as well be somebody we like.)

When last we heard from Tim Kennedy, he’d just completed the MMA equivalent of sinking a two-foot putt by choking out Melvin Manhoef in Strikeforce, then went public with his lament that he hadn’t been the one to administer an in-home eye exam to Osama bin Laden. Y’all know we’ve always liked Kennedy. Seems like a super cool dude and admittedly there’s something fascinating about a guy whose typical day might just as easily include either choking out a Dutch-Surinamese kickboxer or smoking the world’s top terrorist. Give or take.

It’s exactly that admiration that led us to be a bit disappointed this week when we heard about Kennedy offering to fight Michael Bisping over at MMA Weekly. Calling out Bisping is one of the more played-out moves a well-known middleweight can make, after all. When we saw Kennedy saying it, we assumed it was just another case of a guy trying to make his bones off Bisping’s inflated reputation and general overratedness. Truthfully, there probably is some of that at work here. But then we started digging into Kennedy’s quotes and realized that A) He’s offering to fight “The Count” basically for free (PR bump notwithstanding) and B) He seems driven to do it out of moral obligation, more than anything else. As far as we’re concerned that – as long as he’s not just bullshitting us – is pretty cool.


‘UFC 130: Rampage vs. Hamill’ Video Hype, Part 1

(Props: UFC)

After the jump: Quinton Jackson gets his swim on and explains his dual personalities, while Matt Hamill vows to fight smart and earn that Top 5 status.


Business as Usual: Cris Cyborg, World Champion, Still Can’t Get a Damn Fight

Cris Cyborg Jan Finney Strikeforce
(Weird. The “cover your ears and rock back and forth while humming to yourself” defense worked so well in training.)

Inactive and without a fight booked since her squashing of Jan Finney last June, 145-pound Strikeforce women’s champion Cristiane “Cris Cyborg” Santos is desperate to return to competition — so desperate that she had reportedly been negotiating for gigs with the WWE and a Brazilian fight promotion in recent months. Now she’s moved onto the public-pleading stage of her frustration. Here’s what she had to say yesterday via Twitter:

Hi My dear fans, want to fight too soon, but not dependent on me. This very difficult to renegotiate with scott. They’re not appreciating all I did for the event. I am very sad, but I will not give up. God has another purpose in my life…Maybe I fight the world jiujtsu not going to be the way you like with many punches…but I will give my best to make you guys like it.

Alright, Cris, here’s the deal…


Tom Wright: UFC 140 in Montreal in December Quite Possible and GSP vs. Nick Diaz Main Event Isn’t Being Ruled Out

(One of the instances when we’d overlook the flagrant violation of Zuffa’s “business as usual” policy)

Montreal is being targeted as the site of UFC 140 on December 10 according to the UFC’s director of Canadian operations Tom Wright who revealed the news on Ringside Report Radio Wednesday night.

“We’ll do Vancouver on June 11 and then most likely we’ll be back in Montreal on December 10,” Wright said.“We know how important this market is to us and putting on great fights. [Bell Centre's]  a great venue, it’s a great fan-base, it’s a great environment. The energy in that building is as good as any building in North America. We’ll always have a soft spot for Montreal.”


Correction: Chael Sonnen Won’t Be Able to Reapply for a License Until May 2012

Chael Sonnen UFC comic book illustration MMA
(Sonnen illustration via

Though it was originally reported that the indefinitely suspended Chael Sonnen would be able to re-apply for an MMA license after his current license expires on June 29th, California State Athletic Commission executive officer George Dodd contradicted that bit of information today, telling MMA Fighting that the soonest Sonnen can re-apply is May 2012:

One of our rules, in our Title IV [of the California Code of Regulations], stipulates that you have to wait one year after an appeal of your suspension or revocation of license. And since he appealed this [on May 18, 2011], it’s one year from the day of denial.”

Wait, it gets worse:


Reminder: Submit Your Trash Talkin’ Kids T-Shirt Designs by Monday!

Phil Baroni trash talkin' kids t-shirt
(Props: David G. TTK logo blurred out for legal reasons. Although for this design it kind of fits.)

We’re about halfway through the submission period for our Trash Talkin’ Kids t-shirt design contest, which means it’s officially time to get off your asses and put together some entries for this thing. Please shoot your designs to by next Monday, and we’ll open up the voting on Tuesday. Four more current front-runners are after the jump…