Seems like you should be able to predict the fight based on the shorts alone. PicProps: MMAJunkie

It happens everytime. You write off a UFC card as uninteresting and decide to paint along with Bob Ross (or whatever it is you do with your personal time), and the fighters get wind of it and take your lack of interest personally.

They get in to the Octagon and perform stupifying acts of athleticism and heartitude, Dana White gets a huge boner at the press conference, and now you have to read recaps and watch GIFs to catch up on the action. Sucks to be you, we guess.

Frankly, you need to be making better choices in your life — you cannot paint those happy little clouds and friendly little mountains like Bob Ross — no one can. Frodog himself couldn’t even paint like that; all of Bob Ross’s shows were actually produced by Industrial Light and Magic. There, the secret is out, and we can die in peace.

For those dedicated souls that tuned in, hey wow, how about that show, huh? Like you, we had some thoughts during the fights, and unlike you, we wrote some of these thoughts down during and after the fights. Come on in and let us tell you how you’re feeling right now.

All hail Zombie Prophet!

(Photo courtesy of MMADiehards)

Considering he’s stuck in surgery this morning to repair the damage he sustained from Charles Oliveira’s questionable knee last night at UFC Live on Versus 4, at least Nik Lentz won’t be leaving Pennsylvania with a bad taste in his mouth.

According to Lentz’s “The Academy” MMA instructor Greg Nelson, the Pennsylvania Athletic Commission has ruled that the knee Oliveira connected with was indeed an illegal one as Lentz’s right knee was on the canvas.

Here’s what Nelson posted on his Facebook page late last night:

(Unfortunately, Ellenberger was fined 10% of his purse for drawing a bunch of dicks on Sean Pierson’s face after he was passed out. Photo courtesy of ESPN)

According to a new report from MMAFighting, UFC welterweight contenders Jake Shields and Jake Ellenberger have agreed to face each other this fall (event TBA). Shields is coming off his unsuccessful title bid against Georges St. Pierre in April — which snapped a 15-fight win streak — while the surging Ellenberger has scored wins in his last four Octagon appearances, including knockouts of Mike Pyle, John Howard, and Sean Pierson.

As you may recall, Ellenberger has been openly campaigning for this matchup ever since Shields’s underwhelming UFC debut against Martin Kampmann last October. Following that fight, Ellenberger harnessed his inner Chael Sonnen, tweeting “Jake Shields, you’re as exciting as watching a bowl of mash potatoes get cold…Your days are numbered…Jake Shields’ cardio won’t be a factor if he fights me next. I won’t keep him around long enough to get tired.”

(Props: Anchor Bay Entertainment)

Judging from the entries in last week’s fight-picking contest, there are a whole lot of heartbroken Pat Barry fans in the house today. Out of 114 predictions, only one person thought that Cheick Kongo would win by first-round knockout. That person was ‘Me likey‘, who thought it would happen at the 4:10 mark; the actual time of stoppage was 2:39. Obviously, we’re just going to pretend that Marquardt vs. Story wasn’t part of this contest — just as both of those guys will be trying to forget that this awful weekend ever happened, we’re guessing. (Hey Rick, remember when you were on this list? Sucks, bro.)

So, Me likey, hit us up at contest@cagepotato.com with your real name and address and we’ll send you that Royce Gracie Blu-ray disc as soon as we get a chance. Thanks to everybody who played…

(Props: ESPN via MMAMania)

Greatest comeback knockout in UFC history? Last night‘s main event clash between Cheick Kongo and Pat Barry is certainly up there with previous shockers like Scott Smith vs. Pete Sell and Mike Russow vs. Todd Duffee, considering how close it came to being stopped. Kongo earned himself a $50,000 Knockout of the Night bonus for his efforts. The other performance bonuses went to Joe Lauzon, who picked up the Submission of the Night award for his first-round kimura over Curt Warburton, and Nik Lentz and Charles Oliveria, who were awarded the Fight of the Night despite the fact that an illegal knee from Oliveira near the end of the match may result in the fight being declared a no-contest.

After the jump: An excerpt from the night’s other epic battle — Rampage vs. Ariel.

FACT: At some point tonight, someone will refer to this man as “Kongo Slice”, and consider him/herself incredibly clever for doing so. Props: MMAJunkie.com.

The UFC will be holding its fourth installment of live MMA on Versus Network tonight at the Consol Energy Center in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, headlined by Nate Marquardt versus Anthony “Rumble” Johnson Pat Barry versus Cheick Kongo. Eh, what are you going to do? Plus, Rick Story and Charlie Brenneman battle for welterweight contendership, Matt Brown and John Howard more than likely fight for their jobs and Matt Mitrione squares off with Christian Morecraft.

The prelims are currently happening on Facebook now, so why not check them out? We’ll be here when you get back with live updates starting at 9 PM, ET. And yes, we know you’ll be back. It’s a Sunday night, now’s not the time to start acting like you have other plans. Refresh this page every few minutes for the latest results.

“I’m going to beat you so bad you’ll look like you were in a car wreck. Then I’m going to drag you over to the driver’s seat and run away into the night.”

With their featherweight tourney already underway, Bellator would like to remind you that they’ve got some big boys that can throw down too. Two fights have been announced for their upcoming Bellator 48 card, going down on August 20th.

Realizing that beautiful things can be accomplished in the summertime, Bellator kicked off its 8-man featherweight tournament last night on MTV 2. If you happened to miss it, we’ve got a quick recap of how things went down along with a few gifs for your viewing pleasure after the jump.

Breaking sports news video. MLB, NFL, NBA, NHL highlights and more.

While we all wildly speculate what exactly caused Nate Marquardt to be pulled from tonight’s card and ejected from the UFC, we can likely eliminate one potential reason. As seen in the NBC Sports video above, the weight cut looked extremely smooth for Marquardt as he made his first drop down to welterweight. Incidentally, his replacement Charlie Brenneman says that he was notified Friday that he may be stepping in to take on Story.

Perhaps the cutting of Marquardt reminded the rest of tonight’s cast just how fickle a UFC career can be, but something seemed to light a fire under the asses of several fighters at yesterday’s weigh-ins. Weigh-in results and videos of tense staredowns await you after the jump.

(Video Props: LarryBrownSports.com)

Bad news: it’s starting to look like this thing is really happening. Worse news: as if the combatants themselves weren’t awful enough, the injection of special rules qualify it as an early runner for the least-meaningful highly-publicized fight ever.

We blame ourselves.

Well holy shit. Word came out today that Nate Marquardt was having a bad day: he’d failed his medical clearances for his main event fight against Rick Story at tomorrow night’s UFC For Free (or whatever they’re calling it now). There weren’t a lot of details, but his management said it “only temporary” and that “Nate’s future is at welterweight.”

Marquardt’s day turned significantly worse just an hour later, when Dana Tweeted a terse video confirming that Marquardt was donezo:

“I’m sure you heard that Nate Marquardt is out. It’s true. He failed his medicals. Not only is he out of this fight, and out of the main event on Versus, he will no longer be with the UFC.”

WOW. We’re not ones to speculate, but it’s pretty obvious that BigDaddyWhite is pissed, like he’s holding the fighter responsible for some misdeed.

Oh and by the way, Marquardt will be replaced by Charlie Brenneman, who had originally been slated to fight TJ Grant. Grant pulled out of the bout three days ago due to illness, leaving Brenneman without a dance partner.

Feel free to let your imaginations run wild in the comments, and we’ll update you as soon as we hear something from Marquardt.

[RX]

Hatsu Hioki has officially joined the UFC, announced this morning via Twitter.  The Child of Shooto relinquished his lightweight title in late May, and we all kind of assumed that he was headed stateside.  Well, call us Nachodamus.

By now ya’ll know that Hioki  has some prime wins under his belt (something you can’t always say about fighters competing on the other side of the Pacific), including Mark Hominick (twice) and an upset over Marlon Sandro for the Sengoku featherweight strap.  Hioki hit a rough stretch in 2007, dropping consecutive decisions under the Shooto banner, but he hasn’t really lost since if you don’t count the decision loss to Michihiro Omigawa that the judges hung on him–and we don’t.

No word yet on who Hioki will face off with for his debut, but may we suggest Kenny Florian?

[RX]

Breaking sports news video. MLB, NFL, NBA, NHL highlights and more.

Rick story, blatantly holding back his true feelings regarding Nate Marquardt.

In preparation for UFC on Versus 4 this Sunday night, Ariel Helwani has been busy interviewing fighters. Since you probably have a major concerns regarding his interviews, I’ll address it now: Nobody gets slapped. For those of you still here, Nate Marquardt and Rick Story don’t exactly speak highly of each other, Christian Morecraft talks beer and Black Sabbath and John Howard talks about the Boston Bruins winning the Stanley Cup.

For more of Ariel Helwani, be sure to check out the pre-fight and post-fight shows on Versus Network, beginning at 8 PM ET and 11:30 PM ET, respectively. You’ll get analysis from Ariel, Todd Harris and Stephan Bonnar. You’ll also get a special appearance by our favorite reader (No, not Cheick Kongo). And also watch the other videos after the jump.

Video Props: MMAWeekly via MiddleEasy

With his upcoming bout against Cheick Kongo taking place this Sunday at UFC on Versus 4, it seems kind of odd that we’re still talking to Pat Barry about his loss to Cro Cop. Despite losing the fight over a year ago, and since defeating Joey Beltran at UFC Fight for the Troops 2, Barry is still addressing the concerns that some have that he threw his fight against Cro Cop. Needless to say, Barry doesn’t exactly take kindly to such claims.

Pat Barry goes on to talk about a guy who actually whispered into Pat’s ear that he thought Pat Barry threw the fight against Cro Cop. I’m not sure if we should count that as bravery, stupidity or attempted suicide. He also talks about Cheick Kongo’s improved wrestling, some comments attributed to him before the fight and his time training with DeathClutch in preparation for this fight. Well worth a quick viewing, even if it’s just for the facial expressions that Pat Barry makes.

These guys know what I’m talking about.

With all of the MMA available this weekend, you had to expect to sit through at least a few decisions. Maybe even a few overreactions to a subpar performance. Last night, Strikeforce Challengers 16 delivered on your expectations. Fans at the ShoWare Center in Kent, Washington sat through six straight unanimous decisions, with every fight on the televised portion of the card ending this way. Yet despite the lack of stoppages, most of last night’s fights were still pretty entertaining.

Fodor vs. Terry was a very entertaining scrap, with both lightweights landing hard shots throughout the fight. However, whenever the fight went to the ground, Caros Fodor clearly controlled the action, earning him the decision. The AMC Pankration prospect improved to 11-3, with four consecutive victories under the Strikeforce banner. Excuse me for pointing out the extremely obvious, but Fodor really deserves a step up in competition.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/FightHub)

- The Most Misleadingly Named MMA MMA Moves (Clutch.MTV)

- Strikeforce Overeem vs. Werdum from a CP Reader’s Perspective (PatrickWalter)

- The Most Amazing Acts of MMA Mid-Fight Mockery (Cracked)

- Andy Roddick is Baffled By Reporter’s Questions (Guyism)

- Jones, GSP and Werdum Nominated for ESPY Awards (MMAJunkie)

- The Dugout: Jim Riggleman is Sick of This Winning Shit (WithLeather)

- Cecil Peoples Caught in a Riot at Kickboxing Event (TheFightNerd)

- James Spader to Join The Office (ScreenJunkies)

- “Shogun Would ather Stomps Than Elbows in MMA (MMAMania)

- Westboro Church Picketts Ryan Dunn Memorial (HolyTaco)

- Sony Facing Possible Class Action Suit For PS Server Hack (FileFront)

- New Captain America Trailer Kicks Ass (TheRugged)

(PRIDE never die…)

PRIDE 3 went down 13 years ago.

Why it matters:

• Mark Kerr was still in his prime, which was how we want to remember “The Smashing Machine.” He easily handled IVC and IVF champ Pedro Otavio.

• Gary Goodridge picked up his eighth MMA win.

• Kazushi Sakuraba continued to assert his dominance over top competition by dispatching of Canadian rising star Carlos Newton, who would eventualy win the UFC welterweight strap.

(The poster for tomorrow night’s “Shark Fights 16: Neer vs. Juarez” card — look for the broadcast soon on FUEL. Image courtesy of SharkFights.com)

As if you didn’t have enough MMA to deal with this weekend — what with Strikeforce Challengers tonight, Bellator 46 on Saturday night, and UFC Live: Marquardt vs. Story on Sunday night, not to mention Spike TV’s counter-programming efforts — we have another recommendation for your MMA viewing pleasure.

Last week, FUEL TV kicked off a weekly Friday-night broadcast highlighting Shark Fights‘s best recent events. Tonight starting at 9 p.m. ET/PT, they’re airing highlights from Shark Fights 15, which featured the controversial draw between Joey Villasenor and TUF 11 castmember Chris Camozzi, and Dave Branch vs. Jeremy May. Coincidentally, Shark Fights is also holding their 16th event tomorrow night in Odessa, Texas, featuring interim welterweight champion (and UFC vet) Josh Neer taking on Bellator/MFC standout Jesse Juarez.

Also? Tonight at 11 p.m., HDNet is airing the It’s Showtime 2011 Amsterdam card from last month, which was headlined by accused coke-smuggler Hesdy Gerges vs. Chris Knowles. In other words, this is one of the busiest weekends in the history of combat sports. Enjoy, and please stay hydrated.

By Anton Gurevich

Ashley Salazar’s resume is longer than Travis Fulton’s fight record. Before winning the Knock Out Ring Girl contest for Strikeforce: Feijao vs. Henderson, Ashley served six years in the Air Force as a mammographer. [Ed. note: *spits drink out*] She also has an amateur Mixed Martial Arts record of 1-1, with her last fight taking place in August of 2010. Aaaannd…Ashley is also a mother.

Today, Ashley’s number-one goal is to win Playboy’s “Miss Social” contest, which will reach its final stage this Monday, June 27th. You can help Ashley win by submitting votes on the contest’s Facebook page.

We had a rare opportunity to have an interview with Ashley Salazar, asking her all sorts of ridiculous questions. Please make sure you follow Ashley on Twitter @ashleycmsalazar, and “Like” her Facebook Fan Page.

Check out Lowkick’s Q+A with Ashley Salazar — and more pics, of course —right here!

(Video courtesy of YouTube/StudioMMA/MMANYTT)

Our friends at MMANY.se passed along this recent interview they did with Rorian Gracie in which they spoke with the UFC co-founder about whether or not he had any regrets about selling off his stake in the company before it blew up in popularity.

“No, I don’t regret it at all. I’m happy that I’m no longer involved in this because it doesn’t reflect my vision for what I first came up with. Money-wise, it’s a big money-making venture, but for me it was always about much more than the money. It was the ability to showcase a fight that was for real. That’s what brought me to America. Thats what earned the respect for the Gracie name, is being able to fight against everybody and anybody at any time. Now that everybody has learned the system, of course it’s levelled the playing field. Everybody has learned jiu-jitsu and ultimately that’s what I’m happy with.”

(Video courtesy of YouTube/MMAHeat)

According to a report by MMAPrime.tv, Evangelista “Cyborg” Santos has pulled out of his upcoming bout with Paul Daley due to a shoulder injury, leaving Strikeforce scurrying to find a suitable replacement for the durable Brazilian for the July 30 Fedor vs. Henderson card in Chicago.

If we were the SF matchmaker (no offense, Sean Shelby), we’d already have a new opponent for “Semtex” before we hung up the phone with Cyborg’s camp when we got the call that he was pulling out of the bout.

“Tyron, get training. You got your shot. Daley July 30,” the text would read, to which a “smiley-face” reply would be sent back a few moments later.

Zuffa has yet to confirm the rumor that the Daley-Cyborg bout was for the welterweight title vacated by Nick Diaz’s unceremonious departure to the UFC, but since a Woodley-Daley fight was on the table before Cyborg was shuffled in from a planned bout with Tarec Saffiedene, why not give the undefeated American Top Team prospect his due. Strikeforce has been promising Woodley a shot for a while. Now is the time to deliver.

Neil and his jacked-up toe, in happier times.

Some people are just more committed than others. Some athletes train on a schedule that would appear insane to ordinary humans. Some athletes force themselves out of bed each morning when it’s still black outside and drink a few eggs and go run a half marathon. That’s pretty dedicated. Then there’s Neil Melanson.

Melanson is a grappling coach at Xtreme Couture in Vegas; you may remember him as the guy who gave Randy Couture some sort of black belt after submitting James Toney. Melanson is not strictly a jiu jitsu guy with a clear pedigree, instead blending elements from multiple disciplines including catch wrestling and jiu jitsu. Do not misunderstand us, though: Melanson will twist and contort your body until you cry like a little girl.

Turns out that Melanson has had a bum toe for a few years, and now he doesn’t.

VidProps: KahL1One

Once upon a time, you were terrified of Wanderlei Silva.    He did scary things to people.  He did it a lot.  You kind of wondered if he was legitimately crazy.  He intimidated opponents during his walk to the ring while the un-toughest techno you’ve ever heard played in the background — to the point that “Sandstorm” is now universally recognized as Badass. We didn’t even know that Badass had a transitive property, so we thank Wanderlei for teaching us that, as well.

The Axe Murderer returns to action this weekend, perhaps on the downside of his career. The Octagon has never been kind to Wandy — he’s got a 3-5 career record for the UFC– and he’s not getting any younger. If MMA does have a nine-year rule, then this 15+ year veteran should be ready to hang it up.

But he’s not.

(You’d better start sewing the dress for this little guy.)

There’s really no easy way to tell you this, so we’re just going to come right out and say it: As first reported by BJPenn.com, UFC Hall of Famer Ken Shamrock and trash-talking boxing champ turned Randy Couture choke-victim James Toney have agreed to face each other in an MMA bout this fall. The original report pegged the match to an unnamed event in El Paso, Texas, on September 23rd, but Toney’s trainer Trever Sherman says the bout could happen in September or October, and that Texas was simply the most likely location at this point; more details will be hashed out this weekend between the two fighters’ camps.

Look, we all had a good time laughing at Toney’s misfortune after all the smack he talked leading up to his humiliating MMA debut at UFC 118.  But we gotta give him credit for getting back up on the horse. And to be brutally honest, he stands a much better chance against Shamrock, who hasn’t had much success over the last few years, outside of a plodding decision over the rotund Jonathan Ivey last year. (We’re not counting Shamrock’s 2009 submission over Ross Clifton as a legitimate victory, considering he tested positive for steroids after the fight, and Clifton was just seven months away from death at the time of the fight.)

(The good old days — when men were men and briefs were shiny.)

Hello to all of my Cage Potato friends and thanks again for your interest and questions. It’s been a busy 2011 so far and things are only looking better from here. Thank you for the wonderful night before UFC 129 in Toronto. To those who missed it, there was a Cage Potato: Banned party that week and I had the opportunity to meet many loyal readers and Cage Potato “Big Wigs.” As you may know, I’ve reached a different stage in my career and I hope to provide you with more honest insights into many of the things that I’ve learned. I’m pleased to be black by popular demand. Ask away for my next column. Also, add me on Facebook, Twitter, and my blog www.bigdaddyfightteam.com.

All the best and Happy Humping,
Gary Goodridge

‘Bob Villa’ asks: How do you feel about all the lay and pray we’ve been subjected to lately? What do you think about guys like GSP who seem to fight not to lose and never go for the finish?
You’re asking the wrong guy because I always went for the finish. I think just lying on top of somebody is just crap and ridiculous. However, when fighters start doing that they pay the price because the promotions are not going to bring you back. You already know I like Wanderlei Silva and Chris Leben; I also like a lot of the U.K. fighters like Dan Hardy because they always provide entertaining fights.

GSP is a different animal though. He is a champion. He doesn’t have to finish these guys. They have to finish GSP. His job is to keep his belt any way that he can because the belt means prestige and, more importantly, money. If I were him I would use every fibre in my body to walk away with the belt. I never won a championship beyond the International Vale Tudo Championship so I was never in a position to have to try and retain my belt. I was the guy who tried to shatter the myths of others fighters as champions.

People need to understand that guys like GSP are facing the top competition in the world every fight. There is no room for a mistake. It may not look like he’s doing much but trust me, he is.

‘bgoldstein’ asks: At PRIDE 11, you gave Yoshiaki Yatsu one of the most savage beatings I’ve ever seen in my life. Why did PRIDE book a rematch of that fight the next year? Did you feel bad accepting it?

Continuing in Zuffa’s new social media trend of announcing newly-signed bouts before the MMA media gets wind of them, Strikeforce announced today via Twitter that a middleweight bout between Tim Kennedy and Robbie Lawler has been added to its July 30 Fedor vs. Henderson card in Chicago.

(Listen, Dana…Do you think you can say I was with you the night the heist went down?)

Lee Murray was released from a Morroccan jail 2 years ago.

Why it matters:

Although his freedom was short-lived (as in two days), it may be the only time the former UFC middleweight, who was sentenced to an additional 10-25 years for his part in the publicized Securitas heist in the UK, may taste freedom in the next two decades.

Ivan Salaverry retired from MMA three years ago…sort of.

Why it matters:

Salaverry announced that he was done fighting on this day in 2008, but later revealed (as illustrated in the interview above from Matt Lindland’s ‘Fighting Politics’ documentary) that his decision was brought on by the way he felt he and other fighters were mistreated by UFC president Dana White. Since there was a loophole in his UFC contract that stated that retirement nullified his agreement after a specified amount of time, after sitting out for nearly three years from his last bout at UFC 84, Salaverry pulled a Randy Couture and returned to action May 21 of this year to face Matt Ewin at Bamma 6. Unfortunately for the 40-year-old whose version of the mounted crucifix holds a special place in the heart of UFC commentator Joe Rogan, the long layoff and his age did him no favors as he lost the bout by unanimous decision.

(Barnett has his throat-slash. Roy Nelson has his belly-rub. Lorenz Larkin just stands there and poops in his diaper. Props: Strikeforce)

Tomorrow night, Strikeforce returns to the ShoWare Center in Kent, Washington for one of the most compelling ‘Challengers’ events in recent memory. “Fodor vs. Terry” kicks off on Showtime at 11 p.m. ET, and features a pack of exciting prospects. Here’s a quick rundown of the five-fight main card, plus videos of some of their recent performances…

Caros Fodor (10-3) vs. James Terry (10-2)
Fodor is a Washington native who trains under Matt Hume at AMC Pankration. Eight of his ten victories have come by way of submission, but he was able to score his first stoppage-via-strikes in his last fight, battering a worn-out David Douglas until he earned a standing TKO in the third frame. He’s a perfect 3-0 in the Strikeforce organization, and will be looking to move another rung up the lightweight ladder against Cung Le protege James Terry, who has won his last three fights, two by first-round knockout.

(Caros Fodor’s TKO of David Douglas, 4/1/11)

(James Terry’s KO of Josh Thornburg, 4/1/11)

(Now we know why Brock left…OK, besides ridicule about the tattoo.)

Well, there you have it. Watertown, South Dakota just reverted back to being as closed-minded as New York when it comes to MMA sanctioning.

According to reports, town residents voted 1228-841 to suspend mixed martial arts regulation after a fight between two bar patrons turned fatal when one of the combatants died as a result of injuries he sustained in the fracas. So why would they ban MMA as a result, you may ask? Because one of the combatants, a man by the name of Jerrin Stulken happened to be a local MMA trainer.

Bob Reilly’s cousin Bubba must be the mayor of that podunk town.

Our favorite MMA convict, War Machine is a free man in just under a month and when he gets out, the fighter formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver wants all of us to know that even though his Big House Blogs will cease, he plans on continuing to entertain us with an autobiography he has been penning the past few months behind bars.

You know you’ll read it, especially if he details his short-lived porn career and his multiple brushes with the law.

Check out what he had to say about his tome and his final weeks in jail in his two latest blog entries after the jump.