(He’s the Juggernaut, b*tch.)

Most of you (outside of Canada)  have probably never heard of Nick “The Juggernaut” Hinchliffe, but after his Aggression MMA bout with Ryan “The Real” Ford tonight, the 18-7  Nanaimo, BC welterweight, who at one time tipped the scales at 275 lbs when he played high school football, is confident you will know who he is afterwards.

We recently caught up with Hinchliffe to talk about his fight with Ford, his familiar role of underdog and how he handles having three full-time jobs.

Check out what he had to say after the jump.

(I dare you to find me a better GIF than this one. Yeah, that’s what I thought.)

“I really believe zombies are a realistic possibility. Patient zero will start out of someone’s gym. A guy has their dog in the gym, the dog gets a staph infection, the dog gets bit with rabies, some type of cross breeding with the staph and rabies happens and then the dog bites the person because the dog goes crazy. The person goes to the hospital and this crazy strain of staph/rabies turns them into a zombie and it all started right there in somebody’s gym…

“You can’t armbar a zombie. You try to armbar a zombie and it will bite you on the leg. You can’t do jiu-jitsu with a zombie. Kickboxing might help a bit. At the same time, I’m a ‘germaphobe’. I’m afraid I’ll get scratched and infected. I could kick the zombie in the head and his head explodes and I’ll get zombie juice on me and I get infected because I have a scrape somewhere. It’s kind of scary.”

— Yves Edwards (40-16-1) explains to UFC.com why you should never bring your dog to the gym. The “Thugjitsu Master” is 2-0 in his latest UFC stint, most recently choking out Cody McKenzie at Fight for the Troops 2 in January. He’ll try to make it three in a row against Sam Stout tomorrow night on the Spike Prelims Live portion of UFC 131: Dos Santos vs. Carwin.

The Bum Rush is back this week and the most notable change is ReX13 returned for his first show in months. On this episode the guys share their thoughts on the week’s news stories and give their predictions for this weekend’s UFC 131 show and next weekend’s Strikeforce: Overeem vs. Werdum event. They also (begrudgingly) get into a brief discussion about “cuntygate” and an uncomfortable segment on ReX’s fascination with Tito Ortiz’s penis.

“So then I said to Dana, I said, ‘Look, big guy, you take that check, and you roll it up real tight…’”

With the UFC’s current deal with BFF network Spike set to run out at the end of the year, Zuffa has been looking at other options on television, including buying a stake in cable network G4. It’s been fertile ground for all manner of rumors, but one piece of speculation that kept popping up was that Zuffa may be looking at buying Bellator Fighting Championships. This is not really a new idea, and it’s understandable given Zuffa’s demonstrated willingness to swallow its competition, but it ain’t happening.

Sure, Zuffa has pockets deep enough to write a check for the young up and coming promotion, but would they actually be interested in doing so? What would such an acquisition do for the UFC? Could they convert Bellator’s circular steel to Zuffa’s angular cage? Do they need Bjorn Rebney to come up and teach the finer points of running tournaments? Are guys like Eddie Alvarez, Ben Askren, Joe Warren, and Hector Lombard valuable enough to justify a takeover?

Well, short answer: no. Everyone knows that you can’t octagon a circle, so Zuffa would likely have a handful of round cages with nothing to do with them. Who wants a cage that doesn’t reflect your company’s logo? Come on, people, that’s just elementary.

Come on in past the jump and we’ll lay out our case, woefully uninformed though it may be, as to why Zuffa will not be buying Bellator anytime in the near future. We’ll even open up the floor for comments, if you jerks think you know better than we do. Just remember, if you make us look silly, we’re completely capable of doing humorous things to your log-ins, like adding links to diaper fetish sites and penis pump vendors. You’ve been warned.

(K-Sos: A little somethin’ for the ladies. Photo courtesy of Sherdog)

Good news for you smug Facebook-resisters: UFC 131‘s first five preliminary matches will be broadcast on the “Live” section of UFC’s YouTube account, in addition to their usual stream on facebook.com/ufc. Kicking off the night’s action will be…

Krzysztof Soszynski vs. Mike Massenzio
Nick Ring vs. James Head
Dustin Poirier vs. Jason Young
Joey Beltran vs. Aaron Rosa
Michihiro Omigawa vs. Darren Elkins

You can watch the YouTube prelims right here tomorrow starting at 2:50 p.m. PT / 5:50 p.m. ET. The live stream will lead into Spike TV’s UFC 131 Prelims Live broadcast at 5 p.m. PT / 8 p.m ET, featuring Jesse Bongfeldt vs. Chris Weidman and Sam Stout vs. Yves Edwards.

Semi-related: If you’re not already a fan of CagePotato on Facebook, please stop being such a dick. And come back tomorrow night for our liveblog of “Dos Santos vs. Carwin”!

(Dana White runs down some current events with Ariel Helwani following the press conference. Props: MMAFighting)

The UFC hosted a press conference in Vancouver yesterday in advance of UFC 131, but the most interesting announcements had nothing to do with Saturday’s “Dos Santos vs. Carwin” event. Here’s a recap…

Five-round non-title fights: UFC president Dana White announced that the UFC will make non-title main event fights five rounds from now on; previously, only title fights were worthy of the five-round distinction. The rule doesn’t apply to non-title main events that are already booked — Dos Santos vs. Carwin, or Rashad Evans vs. Phil Davis at UFC 133, for example — but it will apply to every non-title main event signed in the future, even for UFC Fight Night and UFC Live events.

Flyweight division in the works: According to White, the UFC will be adding a 125-pound division “really soon,” possibly by the end of 2011. He expected that some of the UFC’s current bantamweights would make the drop.

(“…and how much for you to convince Olivia Munn to come back?”)

According to a report by Bloomberg, several analysts are pegging the prospective UFC-G4 deal between $360 and $600 million US, depending on how much of the company Zuffa wants to buy.

Both David Joyce of Miller Tabak & Co and David Bank, an analyst with RBC Capital Markets peg the value of the deal as high as $600 million if the UFC purchases the network outright. Insiders say that the promotion is looking to purchase at least a 60% controlling interest in the struggling network, which would cost them an equal percentage of the purchase cost.

Who writes these?  Because we may have a job for him.

Whether you think he’s the most entertaining character in MMA right now, or you think he’s the boldest sort of hypocritical cheater, you kind of have to admit that no one — no one — can touch Chael Sonnen for smack talk. There seem to be no rhyme or reason to his endless stream of one-liners, and there’s no telling who he’ll target on any given day.

(Round 5′s new Talking Dana White action figure says eight phrases. All of them are “Fuck you.” / Photo courtesy of liverkick.)

The rules of Make It/Take It are simple. Two MMA writers face off on opposite sides of a hot-button topic, and make their case to the Potato Nation. The “winning” writer — based on number of votes cast in the poll on page 3 — returns next time to battle a different MMA pundit.

This week, “Writer X” from Parts Unknown (aka, a friend of ours from a different site who has chosen to remain anonymous*) goes up against CagePotato’s own Ben Goldstein. Read on, and let us know your thoughts…

* No, it’s not Maggie Hendricks. Or Chad Dundas.

“The UFC Needs a Businessman at the Helm, Not a Character”

By Writer X

Dana White and the Fertitta brothers have taken a sport that was once referred to as “human cockfighting” and built it into a business worth billions of dollars and for that they should be commended.

On its website, the UFC claims that it is the fastest growing sports organization in the world and while that very well be 100 percent true, is there really that much competition out there for them? NFL, NBA, NHL, MLB, FIFA, these are all established organizations that have put in their time and gone through their growing pains. They all have been where the UFC is now.

The dilemma the UFC now faces is how does it grow beyond a niche sport into a major league sport like those mentioned above? To start, the promotion needs to move Dana White out of the spotlight and replace him with a new president that is more acceptable to the masses.

By Jason Moles

Man, they sure are lowering the bar these days. According to TMZ, Dave Bautista (aka former WWE professional wrestler “Batista“) and renowned MMA trainer Cesar Gracie have created a new tag team, and will be opening a Gracie Fighter Jiu Jitsu franchise in Tampa. Though the gym is currently only open to “close martial artist friends,” it will be opened to the public next week; you can see a couple photos of the joint here.

The last we heard about Bautista’s MMA career is that it was dead thanks to the UFC acquiring Strikeforce. I’m not sure if I’m more surprised that Bautista can’t stop pretending he’s a real fighter or that Cesar is whoring out the Gracie family name like that. I hope his cousin Renzo gives him a good talking to about this whole ordeal.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/UFC)

If you missed the UFC 131 countdown show last night, don’t worry, we’ve got you covered.

Of noting is that the UFC enlisted the help of former WWE writer Paul Heyman to help produce the Camp Carwin segments of the show, which he was likely hired for when it was supposed to be his pal Brock Lesnar fighting dos Santos. It’s likely no coincidence, though that Carwin seemed to have a lot more contrived soundbites than usual like, “I’ve wrestled since I was six years old. These hands are meant to get ahold of people. I get ahold of Junior dos Santos, the fight’s over.”

(Video courtesy of YouTube/BratIvan88)

When news first got out that a little known fighter named Jon Olaf Einemo who hadn’t fought in over five years was scheduled to take on former UFC number one heavyweight contender Shane Carwin at UFC 131, many wrote it off as an easy tune-up fight for “The Engineer” who has been out of commission rehabbing a back and neck ailment since having surgery last year.

To those in the know, however, Einemo is a tough challenge, no matter how long he’s been away from MMA.

Einemo’s only MMA loss came by unanimous decision to Fabricio Werdum at PRIDE 31. For most, not being submitted by the decorated Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt would be an accomplishment in itself considering he tapped out Alistair Overeem and Aleksander Emelianenko just a few months later. But Einemo was an ADCC champ who won the revered submission grappling tournament in 2003, (and would later lose to Roger Gracie on points in 2009 in the same tournament) so it was unlikely he’d be submitted, even by Werdum.

Fast forward five years and the 35-year-old Norwegian heavyweight, who has remained busy training with his new Team Golden Glory teammates in Holland and competing in grappling tournaments since stepping away from MMA to focus on his family, is stepping back in the cage to take on UFC newcomer Dave Herman, who replaced Shane Carwin in the match (who stepped in to face Junior dos Santos in the main event when Brock Lesnar was forced off the card due to a diverticulitis flare-up) this weekend in Vancouver at UFC 131 this weekend. Most think that ring rust and Herman’s proven stand-up may play a factor in the bout, but considering Einemo is a main training partner of Strikeforce and K-1 champion Alistair Overeem and according to his coaches has had “many wars in sparring” with “The Reem,” it seems doubtful that the 6′ 6″ fighter (Herman is no slouch himself at 6′ 5″) will be unprepared in any areas of the fight.

After the jump: Rounds two and three of Einemo’s fight with Werdum and his ADCC match with Roger Gracie.

Come on Internet, where are all the awesome fan-made promos? VidProps: mleqs

Damn, we’re glad we didn’t make plans this summer, because we’re going to be typing our hands off over the next few weeks. After the warm up-act of the TUF 13 Finale, we enter one of those fun times when there’s always another show coming up to talk about: we’ll have some big MMA event every weekend. That’s good for you, since we’re less likely to try something new and different. Also good for us, because ideas are hard.

This Weekend

Friday, 10 June — MFC 30: Up Close and Personal The biggest MMA promotion in Canada returns for action, featuring Drew Fickett vs Brian Cobb, Marcus Davis vs Pete Spratt, Thomas Denny vs Sheldon Westcott, and the other Lima brother in welterweight action. Stay tuned for a full preview of the card.

Saturday, 11 June — UFC 131: Carwin vs Dos Santos. More like UFC 131: Snakebit, right? (Just kidding. But seriously.) Carwin vs Dos Santos; plus a pretty nice list of compelling names, but not a lot of intriguing matchups (Poirier vs who?) On the other hand, we couldn’t agree on many predictions while discussing this for the Bum Rush, so no telling how the card goes. Plus, Nick Ring vs James Head jokes will write themselves for a week, easy. Success!

Yessir, we’ve got another $50 store credit to MMAOutlet.com burning a hole through our pants, and we’re holding another fight-picking competition this week to determine its rightful owner.

This Saturday night, UFC 131 goes down in Vancouver, headlined by a heavyweight #1 contender fight between Junior Dos Santos and Shane Carwin, and a featherweight feature between Kenny Florian and Diego Nunes. If you want a crack at this week’s prize, post your predictions for these two fights in the comments section below, including the winner’s name, the method of victory, and the time/round of stoppage (if any). Basically, your entry should be in this format:

(The ‘Josh Kosh M’Gosh’: Taken from us too soon. Props: facebook.com/TrashTalkinKids)

Due to his unauthorized depiction in the “Trash Talkin’ Kids” t-shirt line, UFC star Josh Koscheck is suing NGAUGE, the MMA artwork and apparel company co-founded by Stephan Bonnar. NGAUGE was officially served with notice of the lawsuit yesterday morning.

Though a source at NGAUGE told us that reaction from the other fighters depicted in the shirt series (including Georges St. Pierre and Brock Lesnar) has been uniformly positive, Koscheck apparently didn’t see the humor in being associated with a brand of children’s overalls. Which is too bad, because that shit is kind of hilarious.

(Now we know how the void left by All My Children going off the air in the fall will be filled.)

The Wall Street Journal is reporting that the UFC is currently in negotiations with NBCUniversal to purchase a majority stake of its G4 network.

According to the report, (which quotes different sources who have claim that negotiations are in the beginning and midway points and others who say that the story is just smoke, but no fire as the UFC is talking with several networks to get an idea of what options are available), the deal would provide the promotion with a new home for its programming when its current deals with Versus and Spike TV conclude at the end of this year. Apparently Spike has made initial high monetary contract demands of the UFC to renew a deal with the specialty channel whose growth can be attributed in large part due to runaway success of The Ultimate Fighter.

G4′s asking price and the percentage of ownership the UFC is looking for are not yet known.

(Photographic proof of how the UFC contributed to  Aldo’s injury. That’s a slam dunk insurance claim right there.)

With the UFC featherweight title picture out of focus until champ Jose Aldo heals from a nagging shoulder injury, a question that was recently brought up was what happens if Diego Nunes beats Kenny Florian Saturday night at UFC 131? Surely, he won’t fight a teammate, since that’s a faux pas in Brazil, right?

Think again.

According to Aldo’s longtime trainer and Nova Uniao founder Andre Pederneiras, “Everyone from Nova Uniao knows that if they have to fight against each other, they will.”

“…and I call this here the ‘cattle prod’.”

Donald Cerrone faces UFC newcomer Vagner Rocha this weekend at UFC 131, but to hear him tell it, he knows next to nothing about the guy. “I haven’t watched any video on him and I haven’t watched any tape on him, I don’t care,” Cerrone told UFC.com, “I’m going in there to fight him like I’m going in there to fight anyone else.”

Of course, “fighting him like anyone else” means that we could well have a Fight of the Night on our hands, an award that Cerrone has picked up five times in four years. His first fight with Ben Henderson in 2009 was a five round war that was Sherdog’s pick for Fight of the Year. Now 14-3 (1 NC), Cerrone has racked up 12 submissions wins, but he’s not interested in going to the ground. Speaking of his opponent, a noted grappler with four of six wins coming via submission, Cerrone lets it be known that he wants a damn fight. “I hope he doesn’t come wanting to make this a jiu-jitsu match,” Cowboy says.

After Josh Barnett‘s re-licensing bid was stonewalled by the CSAC in December — leading him to basically give up on California altogether — Strikeforce figured they could solve their problems by hosting Barnett’s promotional debut in Texas, a lawless wasteland whose notoriously lax athletic commission allowed Antonio Margarito to box Manny Pacquiao at Cowboys Stadium the year after after he was caught loading his gloves.

That fact that we hadn’t heard anything about Barnett’s licensing status in the lead-up to June 18th’s “Overeem vs. Werdum” event at the American Airlines Center seemed like a good sign. But problems remain — namely, that the Babyface Assassin reportedly hasn’t completed his Texas licensing application, with just ten days until showtime.

(New York State Assembly: where dreams are squashed.)

The man in charge of the Assembly floor in New York, Democrat Speaker Sheldon Silver yesterday put the big kabosh on the hopes of MMA supporters who were optimistic that the sport will be made legal in the Empire State this year.

Silver intimated to the New York Daily News that the bill may not even be brought to the Assembly floor for a vote before the current legislative session ends on June 20 because the support isn’t there, which is curious considering votes in the other levels of government have all swung considerably in favor of approving legalization.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/Videosemgeral1)

Here we thought that it was going to take a guy with a solid wrestling base who could put Anderson on his back to grind out a decision win over “The Spider.” Apparently all it takes to beat Silva is a solid Hadouken.

“Say ‘Cheese’ fellas! We’re going to the UFC! Drinks are on me tonight.”

You know, we haven’t always been as friendly and respectful to Scott Coker and company the past few years as we could have been. Some of you have even called us haters, right here to our damn faces. However, since this is CagePotato and not CompletelyProfessionalMMAReporting.com, and since most of you assholes come here because we’re assholes, we figure that’s just peachy. That said, Strikeforce does manage to put together some stacked shows, when they’re given enough time between events.

Case in point: Strikeforce’s June 18 show in Dallas boasts a boatload (a large boat, son) of names taking part in the Neverending Story that is the SF heavyweight Grand Prix. Overeem vs Werdum is obviously the big one, but we’ve also got Josh Barnett vs Brett Rogers, Cormier vs Monson, the other Overeem vs that guy with the sideburns, KJ Noons , JZ Cavalcante vs Justin Wilcox… this is a stacked effing card, you pricks. So there, we said something nice. We marked it on our calendar, so it will be nothing but assholery and dick jokes until the autumnal equinox.

Or until the next UFC-Strikeforce superfight, whichever comes first. And with the recent news that cross-promotional fights are on the table for UFC and Strikeforce, we expect to hear SF champs making their case for a superfight of their own.

(The splash of green on the far right edge of the photo? That’s Susie. Photo courtesy of MMAWeekly)

Editor’s note: Yeah, it’s been over a month since Gary has graced us with his presence; long story, but it’s our fault, not his. Please forgive us for the delay. If you have any burning questions for the next installment of “Ask Gary,” please submit them in the comments section below, and catch up on his past columns here and here.

By Gary “Big Daddy” Goodridge

‘zaman fu’ asks: Please tell us some crazy stories about your sister.
Susie and I have always been really close and most fans would be familiar with seeing her in photos or post-fight ring celebrations. Throughout her life, Susie’s had a number of different boyfriends and, most of them, I didn’t like. The only men who I ever liked have been her husband and the man that she’s with right now. I’m sure there is an entire biography that can be written based solely on crazy stories about my sister Susie. She’s a party animal. Anytime I went to a fight, she would party enough for the both of us. I’d always go back to my hotel room and she’d go out to party with the fighters and fans. Needless to say, she’s got the skinny on everybody.

‘DARKHORSE06′ asks: Dear Gary, How come you never got paid what you deserved? Why were people always ripping you off? And why was it so hard to save? Not to push any buttons.
Hindsight is 20/20. Each one of us has our own life to live. Nobody makes all of the right choices at the right times. I’ve done both good and bad things but when all is said and done, I’m the one living my life. I’ve learned not to spend too much time worrying about how other people think they may have lived my life. Everybody gets ripped off and I’m no different. Old guys like us may have gotten taken advantage of sometimes but it’s nothing to whine about. Hopefully the new fighters can benefit from our experience by learning to watch their back and pay attention to what’s going on. Don’t let people make decisions for you. Make decisions for yourself and be careful who you give your trust to.

‘danomite’ asks: Who, out of all the people you have fought, hit the hardest?

(Legal Disclaimer: Actual Bud Light contest winners will not be nearly as attractive as the people featured in this commercial. Props: officialbudlight)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

- Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza to Defend Strikeforce Title Against Luke Rockhold (5thRound)

- UFC 131 Tickets ‘Cannibalized’ by Vancouver Canucks NHL Finals Run and More (MMA Mania)

- Shane Carwin on Dos Santos: I’m Going to Knock Him Out or Tap Him Out and Feel No Remorse For It (LowKick)

- UFC 131 ‘Dos Santos vs. Carwin’ Pre-Fight Interview: Kenny Florian (MMA Convert)

- The 13 Strangest Fighting Styles to Ever Grace UFC’s Octagon (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

- Five Lessons: ‘TUF 13′ (NBC Sports MMA)

- Downes, Cope, and Kingsbury Top TUF 13 Finale Medical Suspensions (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Fight Journal: ‘Mayhem’ Miller Edition (MMA Fighting)

- Now You Can Watch Hector Lombard Give Joe Doerksen a Harry Potter Scar (MiddleEasy)

- “Combate Extremo” CEO Michael Shoffner talks about MMA in Mexico (TheFightNerd)

(If the OAC wants to be taken seriously, it can’t expect promotions to self-regulate.)

If you recall, we reported after UFC 129 that the Ontario Athletic Commission had passed the buck in terms of post-fight drug testing to Zuffa for the April 30 event held in Toronto and that the UFC had hired an unnamed independent laboratory to look after testing the fighters on the historic card.

According to UFC Vice President of Government and Regulatory Affairs, Marc Ratner, who responded to a request from CagePotato.com today for test results from the event, all of the samples came back clean two weeks ago “for both [performance enhancing drugs] and illegal street drugs.”

(Whatever’s wrong with her, it’s probably nothing that one of my famous back-massages couldn’t cure. #creeper)

Strikeforce kicked off today’s “Overeem vs. Werdum” media conference call with some very bad news — franchise star Gina Carano will not be making her scheduled return to the cage against Sarah D’Alelio. Scott Coker told reporters that Carano failed her pre-fight medical examination, but didn’t share specific details about what might be wrong with her health.

Replacing Carano vs. D’Alelio on the televised card of the June 18th Showtime event will be the lightweight title eliminator between KJ Noons and Jorge Masvidal, which was originally slated for the prelims. The promotion may find a replacement opponent for D’Alelio, and will announce more details later. We’ll update you when we know more.

Fitzpatrick is a freshman at the Clay Guida School of Head Movement.

Proud member of the Potato Nation Logan Wendt (AKA logdog52) sent us video evidence of his amateur debut in Lebanon, Missouri back in March.  We figure Logan sent us the video because not only did he win, he won quickly via choking the other guy right the hell out.  Running down our “Do We Post It?” checklist, we see:

1) A fight video.
2) A fight video in which a dude goes out cold.
3) A fight video in which a dude goes out cold and one of you bastards did it.

(The full gallery is after the jump.)

We’ve been burned by these “guest Octagon Girl” reports in the past, but this one seems to be coming from a higher authority:

UFC 131 in Vancouver will have a guest Octagon Girl by the name of Leah Dizon according to Arianny Celeste on Facebook yesterday. Leah, a singer and model was born and raised in Las Vegas but now resides in Tokyo, Japan. [via babesofmma]

Well, at least she did live in Tokyo until she divorced her husband and moved to New York. And hey, fun fact? She also went to the same high school as Arianny. For more of what you might be seeing this Saturday, check out our handy photo gallery below…

Joe Rogan *may* have uploaded this. VidProps: YouTube Person

Marcelo Garcia took gold in the 82kg Middleweight division this past weekend at the BJJ Worlds (and we’ll probably mention this esoteric tournament again, with its bizarre rules against hammerfists, soccer kicks, and striking in general). It was Garcia’s fifth gold at the Mundials, putting him on a very short list of grappling legends.

So where did Marcelinho learn his deadly moves? Check out CagePotato’s Quick Hit of the Day for the answer. But we bet you already know.

[RX]

(Video courtesy of YouTube/FightHubTV)

It’s official. The world must be ending soon. How else can you explain the fact that we actually agree with something Gary Shaw said regarding MMA?

In this interview Shaw did with FightHubTV.com about Zuffa’s purchase of Strikeforce, Shaw detailed who the winners and losers are in the deal and his viewpoints were all valid ones.

“Great for the UFC [and the] Fertittas. Brilliant, brilliant move. For the fighters, terrible move because they don’t really have another place to go and bargain. So, if you ask me as a businessman, I think it’s brilliant on the part of the UFC, Shaw said. “I’m not even sure that when Strikeforce’s contract is up with Showtime, that they just don’t fold [the promotion] into the UFC at that point and just make it a pay-per-view. For the fans it’s bad, for the fighters it’s bad and for the UFC it’s terrific.”