sloths funny photos album covers
Iconic Album Covers Replaced With Sloths

October, 2011

There’s a Pretty Good Chance You’ll Have to Google the Names From the Second Bracket of ProElite’s HWGP


(Video courtesy of YouTube/ProElite)

ProElite today named the participants of the second bracket of its planned heavyweight grand prix and there’s a pretty good chance you won’t recognize the names on the list.

Contrary to popular belief and ads that inferred as much, the tournament will not include former UFC heavyweight champions Andrei Arlovski and Tim Sylvia. According to the press release sent out by Stratus Media Group, the tournament will be structured similarly to Strikeforce’s Challenger Series in that the “up-and-coming’ winner will earn a shot at an upper-main card slot on a future event.

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Report: Vitor Belfort and Anderson Silva Tapped as Coaches for Brazilian Edition of ‘The Ultimate Fighter’ in March


(“Your face still has my footprint on it, bro.”)

According to the Brazilian website GLOBO, UFC middleweight champ Anderson Silva and former number one contender Vitor Belfort will be the coaches on the Brazilian version of The Ultimate Fighter, which begins filming in South American country in March 2012.

UFC officials, however told MMAJunkie this afternoon that the report is erroneous, but take the denial with a grain of salt. Remember the company has been guarded in the past when it comes to revealing TUF coaches prior to approximately the month before shooting begins for logistical reasons. The other reason why they could be denying the report, if it is in fact true, is that Silva is likely to face Chael Sonnen in February and it would come off as though they are expecting “The Spider” to win if they were to announce him as a coach, especially if it’s likely that he will defend his title against Belfort at the conclusion of the season. Smoke and mirrors.

Personally, I’d like them to bring in Uncle Chael to coach opposite Anderson. Hell, I’d watch the whole season without subtitles and on mute just to see Anderson’s facial expressions whenever Chael addresses him. It probably won’t happen since 3/4 of the Brazilian MMA fan base don’t know what playing the heel is, which is probably tied into the absence of the Internet in the country and because they often mistake buses for horses.

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UFC 137 Fight-Picking Contest: The Winners!


(Images via BJJHQ and ZPR on Facebook.)

Between the widely held beliefs that BJ Penn vs. Nick Diaz would end in a stoppage, Matt Mitrione would outstrike Cheick Kongo, and Mirko Cro Cop still had some old Cro Cop left in him, none of you were 100% correct with your UFC 137 predictions in last week’s fight-picking contest. The closest entry belonged to commenter J. Spaceman, who got all three winners right, predicted the scorecard of Diaz/Penn within one point, and also guessed a TKO win for Roy Nelson. For his efforts, he wins this Gameness Premium Cage Rashguard courtesy of our good buddies at BJJHQ.com! (Spaceman, e-mail contest@cagepotato.com with your name, address, and size, and we’ll get it sent out to you. Please wear it responsibility.)

And since he was one of the first ten entries to correctly pick Diaz/Kongo/Nelson, J. Spaceman also wins a copy of Break Media’s new ‘Zombie Parkour Runner’ iPhone game, perfect for sitting on the couch waiting for your girlfriend to finish putting her Halloween costume together. The other winners of Zombie Parkour Runner are: aaron530, Viva Hate, Ani703, TheJedi, FrontKick Dentist, SmellMyTriangle, PERPATRAITOR, jinx5128, and heavy. If your name has been called, please e-mail contest@cagepotato.com with your real name and screen name, with ‘ZPR’ in the subject line, and we’ll shoot you a download code. Thanks to everybody who played!

Semi-related: If you’re particularly proud of your Halloween costume this year, post a photo of yourself on our Facebook wall. We always like seeing what you crazy bastards are up to.

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UFC 137 Salaries: Nick Diaz Earns $275,000, Five Others Break the Six-Figure Mark


(Maybe now that Bart’s rich, he can stop swagger-jacking KarmaAteMyCat. / Photo via MMAFighting)

The Nevada State Athletic Commission has released the official payroll from Saturday’s UFC 137 event, revealing that the participating fighters earned $1,326,000 in disclosed salaries and performance bonuses. Headliner Nick Diaz went home with the largest check — $275,000, including his Fight of the Night bonus — but the biggest winner had to be featherweight veteran Bart Palaszewski, who made more than ten times his $10,000 show-money, thanks to a win bonus, a Knockout of the Night bonus, and a 25% cut of Tyson Griffin’s purse.

The full UFC 137 payout list is below; keep in mind that the figures don’t include additional revenue from sponsorships and undisclosed “locker room” bonuses, or deductions for taxes, insurance, and license fees.

Nick Diaz: $275,000 (includes $75,000 Fight of the Night bonus; no win bonus)
def. B.J. Penn: $225,000 (includes $75,000 Fight of the Night bonus)

Cheick Kongo: $140,000 (includes $70,000 win bonus)
def. Matt Mitrione: $10,000

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In Case You Missed It, Here is the Awesome New UFC on Fox 1 Primetime Show


Primetime by JMMANow
(Video courtesy of DailyMotion/JMMANow)

If your wife had you finishing up some shit on your honey-do list you had better things to do yesterday afternoon than sit inside and watch the UFC on Fox 1 Primetime show, don’t worry, homies. We got you covered.

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Video: Cesar Gracie’s Pretty Sure GSP is a Big Fat Faker


(Video courtesy of YouTube/ProMMANow)

You would think that Nick Diaz’s camp would cool it with all of the accusations about Georges St-Pierre being scared or faking an injury to get out of fighting their boy now that they got the desired result, but that’s not how they do things in Stockton, evidently.

Dring a media scrum after the UFC 137 presser, Cesar Gracie was asked, in a somewhat baited way if he thought GSP’s injury was legit and he didn’t hold back, although he made about as much sense as his protegee.

“He ran past me earlier. I mean, he literally RAN past me, so… Look, he’s a great guy. He’s a black belt under [my cousin] Renzo Gracie. I don’t know the guy that well, personally, but I’m gonna tell you guys something right now… Nick Diaz missed a press conference and he’s here and [he] fought,” Gracie sort of explained. “The guy that went to the press conference didn’t fight. That’s all I gotta say about it. Nick…Yeah, he got kicked out, he’s this…he’s the bad guy… We didn’t go to what Nick called, ‘the beauty pageant,’ but come fight night you guys saw what he’s made of and he showed up and he did everything he had to and the guys that made the press conference, they weren’t here tonight, so you be the judge. You know what I mean?”

No, we don’t know what you mean since it makes no sense. So let us get this straight, somehow GSP faked an injury to get out of fighting Nick, even though he was scheduled to face Carlos Condit when the injury occurred. Wait, what?!

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MMA Stock Market™ — “UFC 137: Penn vs. Diaz” Edition

Roy Nelson UFC 137 clean shaven post fight photos
(Allow us to introduce you to Nelson Roy III, the brilliant hedge fund manager who has absolutely no relation to that fighting hillbilly you saw on Saturday. / Photo via MMAJunkie.)

By Jason Moles

If you decided to play the new CagePotato drinking game this weekend, you’re probably way too hung over to think about your financial future right now. But now that the dust has settled from UFC 137, you owe it to yourself to study our insightful and highly opinionated rundown of where to direct your hypothetical MMA investments. It’s “Buy, Sell, Hold” time once again, Potato Nation…

“The Prodigy” BJ Penn – Sell

Even if Baby Jay is pulling a Jamie Varner (man I hope that’s not a euphemism) as Mr. Falvo so eloquently put it, the writing on the wall has been there for a while now even if the majority of fans didn’t bother to read it. BJ announcing his retirement Saturday night may have been a moment of weakness when his emotions got the best of him which led to a rash decision, but let me remind you (just like every other single story you read today about “The Prodigy”) that Penn has went 1-3-1 in his last five fights. The Hawaiian may fight again to collect another paycheck but there is no more money to be made as a shareholder.

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Donald Cerrone to Make Quick Return Against Nate Diaz at UFC 141


(Unless you have your last name and a dog’s face tattooed on your back, you really can’t call yourself “alpha.” / Photo courtesy of Heavy.com/MMA)

Following his UFC 137 Submission of the Night victory over Dennis Siver, Donald Cerrone — one of the gamest sons-of-bitches in MMA — made it known that he’d like another fight before the year is out. As confirmed by MMA Junkie, the UFC has granted his wish, sticking Cowboy on the UFC 141: Lesnar vs. Overeem card (December 30th, Las Vegas) against lightweight mainstay Nate Diaz. You dodged a bullet, Nam Phan.

Cerrone is currently on a six-fight win streak, including a 4-0 stretch in the Octagon since debuting for the promotion in February. Picking up a fifth UFC victory inside a calendar year would be nearly unprecedented. (I know Roger Huerta did it in 2007; if there any MMA stats masters in the house who can provide other examples, please do so in the comments section.)

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Photo of the Year Candidate: Nick Diaz and BJ Penn After UFC 137

nick diaz bj penn ufc 137
(Props: MMA Scraps)

A superstar on the rise, fist-posing next to a possibly-retired legend who barely has the strength to shaka — you can put this photo in the MMA dictionary next to “changing of the guard.”

UFC 137 provided another example of the unique emotional arc that this sport sometimes gives us. Headliners Nick Diaz and BJ Penn got into a near-tussle at the weigh-ins, spent three rounds trying to knock each other out, and after the fight they were chillin’ like two old bros. Never mind the fact that Penn’s left eye was leaking blood from all the blows he ate from Diaz, who happened to break the record for significant strikes landed in a UFC fight, by the way.

After the jump: More UFC 137 post-fight press conference highlights, in which Diaz talks about why he didn’t want to fight Penn, and explains that he didn’t go to school for buying a house. (That’ll make a little more sense when you watch it.)

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Bellator 56 Recap: Askren Survives Hieron, Prindle and Santos Advance


Askren vs. Hieron, part one. All videos in this post via IronForgesIron.com

Bellator returned to action last night in Kansas City with action from the heavyweight tournament and a welterweight title fight between current champion Ben Askren and Season Four tournament winner Jay Hieron. Earlier this week, Ben Askren promised to “maul Jay Hieron”, as our more astute readers may remember. Well, that didn’t exactly happen. We’ll discuss that more in a minute.

The night kicked off with heavyweight tournament semifinals action. To say these fights delivered quick, exciting finishes puts it mildly- It’ll take some of you longer to read this sentence than it’ll take you to actually watch the fights. In the first matchup, Eric Prindle countered a leg kick from Ron Sparks with a brutal straight right forty seconds into their fight. Not to be outdone, Thiago Santos quickly dropped Bellator Season Three heavyweight tournament finalist Neil Grove and sunk in a rear naked choke. The total amount of time it took Santos to do this? Thirty eight seconds. Don’t blink when Eric Prindle meets Thiago Santos at Bellator 59.

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