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15 Moments of Instant Regret [GIFs]

November, 2011

MMA Black Friday: 7 Things That Money Can’t Buy


(A PSP, a Marmaduke book, and fistful of dollars… Man, this cat really knows how to get down!)

By Jason Moles

While our wives and girlfriends are busy maxing out our credit cards in hopes of finding the perfect gift for everyone she knows, we should be reminded that money can’t buy everything — especially in the world of mixed martial arts. Follow us after the jump to discover the irony of the MMA Black Friday. I promise it will be better than the turkey sandwich and leftover pumpkin pie you’ll have for lunch.

1.) Resurrection

In June, Cheick Kongo did what no man has done since the Messiah some 2,000+ years ago — he defeated death. Alright, so maybe I’ve had a few too many turkey day cocktails and that’s not exactly how it went down, but you get the jist. Kongo was knocked unconscious not once but twice in his fight against fellow heavyweight Pat Barry and he still managed to win the fight! By KO nonetheless. No amount of Earthly money could ever buy a second (or third) chance to live again. If it were that easy, Steve Jobs would’ve made certain you increase your credit limit.

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Give Thanks: ‘Pele’ vs. ‘Macaco’ III is Going Down in January


(Video courtesy of YouTube/TeflonMaster)

If you’ve followed MMA for more than a few years, you know who Jose “Pele” Landi-Jons is.

Anderson Silva — a longtime training partner of “Pele,” who lost to the Cuban-born fighter twice in muay thai competition — credits the original Chuteboxe team fighter with helping make him the dangerous fighter he is today.

Well, it appears that Pele is back to form after suffering a career threatening leg break back in 2008 and now the 38-year-old, who is undefeated in his four bouts since returning from the grisly injury, will take on Jorge “Macaco” Patino for the third time at MMA Combat 2 Kumite on January 20 in Brazil.

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Make Your Thanksgiving a Little Bit Better by Watching Eddie Bravo and Renato Laranja Act the F*ck Out of This Short Film

If you’re looking for something to do today besides watching football and pretending to enjoy the company of your annoying family, we got you covered.

The first episode of Eddie Bravo’s “Bravo & Company” web series, “Return of the Death Knuckle,” featuring a who’s who of the 10th Planet family tree including Joey Diaz, Renato Laranja and Scott Epstein is out, and we’ve got it here for your viewing pleasure.

So grab your iPhone and a bottle of bourbon, lock the bathroom door and spend the next 23 minutes watching this masterpiece.

Check it out after the jump.

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Reminder: Get Your Votes in for This Year’s Fighters Only World MMA Awards by Friday


(Meathead’s impartial reminder for you to get your votes in.)

Even though we were conspicuously absent from the ballot again, we’re still going to do our friends at Fighters Only Magazine a solid by reminding The Potato Nation to vote for your other favorites who were nominated for this year’s 2011 Fighters Only World MMA Awards.

For all of the readers who pine over your old dad who left you to be raised by mom and your *new* dad, even though he doesn’t write or call, you can vote for Ben Fowlkes in the MMA Journalist of the Year category.

Other than that, there are probably a few brands and names in there that you support.

With Chael Sonnen hosting the event, things could get interesting, especially when it comes time for him to do the rumored dance number with Black House.

Check out the categories and nominees after the jump.

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Kampmann vs. Alves in the Works for Unannounced UFC Event in March

According to multiple reports and independent confirmation we received this afternoon from a source close to the negotiations, a welterweight match-up between Martin Kampmann and Thiago Alves has been verbally agreed to for an unnannounced UFC event in March.

MMAWeekly was first to report the news.

Both fighters rebounded from disappointing losses in impressive fashion in their last outings.

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Former UFC Fighter and Bellator Signee Maiquel Falcao Suffers a Heart Attack


(Photo courtesy of MMAjunkie.com, if you couldn’t tell.) 

According to multiple sources, UFC veteran and recent Bellator signee Maiquel “Big Rig” Falcao suffered a heart attack in training this past weekend, the cause of which has yet to be determined. His manager has stated the following:

Maiquel is still on the Intensive Care Unit and might stay there for few more days, when he’ll go through a catheterization. He’s lucid and improving fast.

Falcao’s lone octagon appearance, a decision victory over TUF 7 alum Gerald Harris, was memorable for a multitude of reasons. Not only did a timing error deny Falcao nearly 7 seconds to finish a rear naked choke on Harris in the first round (one which even Dana White though Harris would have tapped to), but the third round would become an exercise in tedium as neither fighter would engage. Bizarre to say the least, made all the more disappointing by the fact that Falcao had been so dominant up to that point over a tough guy in Harris.

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Video: Jason Miller Promises to Finish Bisping in the First Round

With The Ultimate Fighter 14 Finale just a couple weeks away, many of us have been wondering how prepared Jason Miller was for his return to the UFC, especially considering that he hasn’t truly faced legitimate competition since his unanimous decision loss to Jake Shields just over 2 years ago. Aaron Tru of TruMMA was able to catch up with the Team Mayhem coach recently, and aside from playing a good old fashioned game of “Sactap,” was able to achieve a rather serious conversation with Miller, at one point even discussing the WEC and Strikeforce veteran’s seriousness (or lack thereof) when it comes to training. And “Mayhem” was quick to set things straight for those doubters out there:

On his training camp: “[Training] is going fantastic. I’m really surprised. This is the first camp that I’ve got a super serious camp in my entire career, and I’m an old damn man by fighter’s standards. It feels awesome. I’ve never been in such good shape and I’ve never had such a good mental focus going into a fight. It’s really refreshing. I was like, ‘Oh, this is what training camp is supposed to be like.’”

On how serious he takes his training: “The reason I do this sport, the reason I got into this career, was because I enjoy going to a padded room where I can act as crazy as I want and it’s not an institution. I think you can train seriously and still have a lot of fun. Even on The Ultimate Fighter, here at Reign Training Center, even going back to high school wrestling, I was always like the funny guy on the team and I feel like it keeps morale up.”

It’s hard to disagree with Miller, who has shown a true knack for not only coaching but connecting with his team on this season of The Ultimate Fighter, whereas Team Bisping seemingly can’t have a sparring session that doesn’t erupt into a brawl at some point.

Check out some more highlights from the interview after the jump. 

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Awesomely, Minowaman Will Be Fighting Kendall Grove in Hawaii

butterbean eric esch minowaman ikuhisa minowa mma photos
(Avenge us, Kendall. AVENGE US.)

Remember yesterday when we found that amazing drawing of Ikuhisa Minowa fighting Godzilla, and used it as an excuse to run a relatively pointless post confirming that Minowaman would not, in fact, be fighting Brian Stann at UFC 144? Man, the crazy antics we get up to when nobody’s watching.

The thing is, we actually have some legit news to pass along about DREAM’s reigning Super Hluk [sic] champion. MMAFighting is reporting that Minowa will make his U.S. MMA debut at ProElite 3 (January 21st, Honolulu) where he’ll face rangy UFC veteran Kendall “Da Spyder” Grove. Okay, so it’s not the kind of freak-show matchup we’re used to seeing from Minowaman — but at least Grove is really tall for a middleweight.

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Gallery: Fedor Loves His Kitteh and Seven Other Photos of ‘The Last Emperor’ Embracing His Inner Child


(In mother Russia, this is what tough looks like.)

Years from now when scientists dissect the brain of “The Last Emperor” they will likely discover that on one side was a cybergenetic processor similar to the one found in a Terminator unit, while on the other was half of a child’s brain.

Fedor seems to get great pleasure out of the juxtaposition of smashing people in the face and playing with toys. He’s what is scientifically referred to as  ”a manchild,” and there’s nothing wrong with that. Who doesn’t secretly dream of being part Billy Madison and part Steven Seagal sometimes?

Anyway, check out some other photos of Fedor embracing his his inner child after the jump.

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“Ask Dan” #3: The One Where Severn Spits Blood Into His Opponent’s Face

Dan Severn funny MMA UFC photos
(“Nice hipster glasses, buddy! Let’s see what they look like…SUPLEXED!!!!” Photo via Dan’s Facebook page.)

In this week’s installment of his mailbag column for CagePotato.com, UFC Hall of Famer Dan Severn discusses a memorably bloody Vale Tudo match, the greatest night of his career, and the technique that he wants to see banned from the sport.

DARKHORSE06 asks: What is the worst injury you ever received?

The worst injury I’ve ever received in my career has probably been a cut. One time I was competing in Brazil back in the No Holds Barred days — known as Vale Tudo in Brazil — and my opponent hit me with a big overhand right that split open my top lip. When I grabbed hold of him to try and shake some of the cobwebs out of my head I noticed he was covered in baby oil so I couldn’t get him down.

In the clinch, my opponent threw a knee up that hit me in the mouth and split my bottom lip open. Somehow he was able to get me into the corner and I couldn’t really see as he started trying to attack me with knees, stomps and other techniques of that nature. I was trying to think of some way out when suddenly it dawned on me to suck the blood off my face and into my mouth. Once it was in my mouth, I would basically just spit the blood into my opponent’s face because it was not against the rules. As my opponent looked away so as not to get any blood spit at him, that’s when I got the upper hand, swept his feet out from underneath him and dropped him down on his butt.

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