Coaches and fighters from Jackson’s MMA say they were stunned last week to find out that an up-and-coming amateur fighter who had been training at the gym in Albuquerque since last summer was a wanted man who was on the run from kidnapping and domestic abuse charges in Colorado.

According to the complaint filed last July, Tyron Wright allegedly kidnapped an ex-girlfriend who he handcuffed and tortured. Besides assaulting her, Wright is also accused of heating up a knife on his stove and burning the victim with it.

(Trust fall: You’re doing it wrong.)

If anything, UFC on Fox 3 is looking like it has the potential to surpass that of its first two cards in terms of excitement. Dana White announced via his Twitter last night that a battle between top welterweight contenders Josh Koscheck and Johny Hendricks has just been booked for the UFC’s third go-around on Fox, which is already set to feature a lightweight clash between Jim Miller and Nate Diaz, as well as a heavyweight sure to be slugfest pitting Pat Barry against Lavar Johnson. Yes, it’s looking like there is little stopping this card *cough* Jon Jones’ commentary *cough* from finally delivering a good lineup to the masses. The first Fox card had the fights, but failed to showcase enough of them, whereas the second card was simply too underwhelming to reel in any new fans, but the addition of Hendricks/Koscheck to this card will surely push it over the top.

Hendricks is coming off a 12 second knockout over former #1 contender Jon Fitch, which snapped a 5-0-1 streak Fitch had put together since dropping a unanimous decision to Georges St. Pierre back at UFC 87. Koscheck, however, is fresh off a controversial split decision victory over Mike Pierce at UFC 143. Despite being outsruck for the majority of three rounds, Koscheck was able to secure the decision by converting on two of his three takedown attempts, because that’s apparently all it takes these days.

Thompson looks to stay undefeated against Matt Brown at UFC 145

We’re barely one week removed from UFC 143, yet two welterweights who were victorious on the card have been signed to fight at UFC 145. The UFC has announced that TUF 7 veteran Matt Brown has agreed to a bout with Stephen “Wonderboy” Thompson.

Matt Brown managed to buy himself more time in the UFC with a second round TKO over Chris Cope at UFC 143, improving the UFC record of “The Immortal” to 6-5. On the other end of the spectrum, Stephen Thompson made an impressive first impression on viewers with his first round head kick knockout over Dan Stittgen. The victory improved his record to 6-0, and also earned him Knockout of the Night honors.

Felipe Enomoto vs. Ole Laursen. All videos in this post props to IronForgesIron.com

It would be a real shame if you only remembered ONE FC 2 for the freak show that was Bob Sapp vs. Rolles Gracie. As is too often the case when events only get remembered for the freak show fight(s) that they hosted, the rest of the card had some legitimately entertaining fights. Four out of five of the main card’s bouts ended in submission, with Felipe Enomoto, Bae Young Kwon and Gustavo Falciroli all securing rear-naked chokes against their opponents. While Enomoto vs. Laursen may have been the most entertaining of the three, Bae Young Kwon’s victory came the earliest, securing the choke only fifty six seconds into the fight. Likewise, Gustavo Falciroli picked up a quick submission against Soo Chul Kim, who curiously enough seemed hesitant to stand up with the BJJ blackbelt.

Bae Young Kwon vs. Honorio Banario

Strikforce’s paper-thin light-heavyweight division just lost another one.

As GRACIEMAG first reported yesterday, Strikeforce light-heavyweight Roger Gracie has been called up to the UFC. While a date and an opponent have yet to be named for his UFC debut, Roger Gracie has hinted that he may enlist Anderson Silva to help him train for the bout. Roger Gracie is currently 4-1 in his career, with his last fight being a first round knockout loss to King Mo at Strikeforce: Barnett vs. Kharitonov.

On paper, it’s pretty strange to call up a guy with five professional fights who just lost to the big leagues. But it makes a little more sense when you actually look over Strikeforce’s light-heavyweight division. With King Mo on the shelves for a while, there really isn’t much to offer Gracie in Strikeforce. As the age old saying goes: If Gracie fights Ovince St. Preux or Gegard Mousasi in Strikeforce and no one watches, does the fight even matter? At least I think that’s how that one went.

Props: IronForgesIron.com

When we announced that ONE FC’s second event would feature professional publicity stunt Bob Sapp fighting against UFC veteran (sigh) Rolles Gracie, we offered you a question about the fight: Bad idea, or worst idea? On paper, this meant pitting a one-dimensional, subpar kickboxer fighter impersonator against a one-dimensional grappler. Factor in the complete lack of cardiovascular endurance that both men have exhibited, and we were in for an ugly affair.

Well, that fight went down today in Jakarta, Indonesia. And it was everything that you expected it to be.

After going 0-7 in kickboxing and MMA in 2011, Bob Sapp decided that he needed to change his traditional game plan of “start out strong, get tired, get knocked out”. This time around, Bob Sapp attempted to start the fight early during yesterday’s weigh ins. Like the obese guy who orders medium fries with his twenty piece nuggets and large milkshake instead of large fries, we guess we can applaud him for at least changing something.

(Dumbass paediatric cancer patients are the new rape.)

-  Star Wars in 3-D: ‘Aw, Hell No!’ Edition (WorldWideInterweb)

-  Father Teaches Daughter a Lesson about Facebook (BREAK)

- 9 Rock Stars Who OD’ed and Lived to Tell About It (Guyism)

- 9 Things George Lucas Denies Besides Han Shooting First (ScreenJunkies)

-  No Joke; Cut 50,000 Calories (MadeMan)

-  On being a Latino Star Wars Fan (TuVez)

-  Clowning on LeBron’s Hairline (BuzzerBeat)

-  What Your Booze Says About You (AskMen)

-  How to End a Date in 30 Seconds: Jenga (Clutch.MTV)

-  How to Be An Alpha Valentine (TheRugged)

-  Every Slow Motion Wes Anderson Shot Set to Ja Rule (FilmDrunk)

-  Chris Bosch Learns the ‘Yes’ Dance (TerezOwens)

-  Alvarez May Be UFC-Bound (FightersOnly)

-  Best Finishing Moves in MMA History (BleacherReport)

-  Best MMA Motivation: Do or Die (MuscleProdigy)

(“Like Miesha, Poirier will get to have his cake and eat it too.”)

It looks like the best way to get the UFC’s attention these days is to call out an opponent on Twitter.

Dustin Poirier mentioned via Twitter two days ago that he would like a fight with “The Korean Zombie.” Today UFC officials announced that the pair will square off in the main event of UFC on Fuel 3 May 15 at the Patriot Center in Fairfax, Virginia.

(I may not know how to buy a house, but if you give me fifteen minutes I WILL make a four percolator bong out of this.) 

Man, the UFC marketing department intern in charge of Lorenzo Fertitta’s Twitter account must be working overtime these past few days. Aside from announcing the Mir/Velasquez, Griffin/Ortiz, and Overeem/JDS fights last night, “Lorenzo” recently held a Twitter Q & A session to set the record straight on this whole Nick Diaz/Puff the Magic Dragon thing. And even if Diaz is planning to retire, his contract with the UFC will remain. You know, just in case he gets the sudden desire to fight B.J. Penn, Karo Parisyan, or Joe Riggs again in some small promotion somewhere.

When asked about Diaz’s Zuffa future, Fertitta was quick to respond, “[I] really like the kid [he] just needs to get it together. I’m a sap for real fighters.” We know, Lorenzo.

We don’t want you to argue about whether or not marijuana should be considered a banned substance, or illegal for that matter, because we already have. Needless to say, if anyone out there actually thinks weed enhances anything but zombie mode on Call of Duty and the enjoyment of Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives, then they are clearly unfamiliar with the term “enhance.” What we are interested in is what kind of punishment you think Diaz should receive for violating a rule, as silly as it may be. Three months? Six months? A year? Well, barring a successful appeal, which, come on, it’s looking like it will be a year or more before we see Diaz in the octagon, if at all.

Perhaps even more hilarious than the predicament Diaz has put himself in was how the MMA community responded to his failed drug test. Check out some of the best tweets, compiled by MMAFighting.com, after the jump.

(Hey Tito, do you mind taking a look at this fungus I’ve got growing on my foot? I figured if anyone could spot a bizarre infection, it would be you.) 

It’s looking like Tito Ortiz will be getting his wish to go out on a hotly contested decision like he’s always wanted. Though the event or location has yet to be determined, Lorenzo Fertitta announced to the Twittersphere last night that the rubber match between Ortiz and Forrest Griffin will in fact be happening, and, just like Ortiz requested, could transpire on Fourth of July weekend.

After saving his Zuffa career by submitting Ryan Bader at UFC 132, Ortiz has dropped two straight to Rashad Evans and Antonio Rogerio Nogueria, both coming by way of TKO. Griffin is also coming off a first round TKO loss, which he suffered in his rematch with fellow former Light Heavyweight champ Mauricio Rua at UFC 134.

Ortiz and Griffin first met way back at UFC 59 in the spring of 2006. At the time, Griffin was on a four fight win streak including his TUF 1 Finale victory over Stephan Bonnar. Ortiz had scored two straight after being knocked out by Chuck Liddell at UFC 47, and would follow his split decision victory over Griffin by beating the piss out of poor Ken Shamrock twice in a row. Their second meeting, which went down at UFC 106, saw Griffin emerge victorious by an equally controversial split decision.

Speaking of trilogies…

(“I’ll be there in a minute, mom. First I need to go pwn these noobs on CagePotato.”)

After reading through the entries for this week’s caption contest, we have one thing to say: “Damn we miss our old kids. Those fuckers were funny and they didn’t bitch a quarter as much as you little bastards.”

But like any good parent, we just smile and lie through our teeth when we tell everyone how smart and great you ugly neanderthals are. We’re stuck with you, so we might as well make the best of it, right…*cough….Xeno…cough*?

Anyway, since we had to pick a winner, we chose the three that sucked the least. Seriously. We gave you guys three chances to knock it out of the park and the best you did was the equivalent LOL-wise of a Family Circus comic? Son, I am disappoint.

Check them out below, and remember that it ain’t easy to be funny, as you can tell by most of the entries we received.

*drops mic and walks away like Andrew Dice Clay*

(Didn’t Hobert Downey Junior tell you JDS? Never go full hetard.) 

Lorenzo Fertitta tweeted last night that the highly anticipated heavyweight clash between newly crowned UFC Heavyweight champion Junior Dos Santos and former Strikeforce and DREAM Heavyweight champ Alistair Overeem is in the works for UFC 146, which is scheduled to go down on May 26th at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas.

Dos Santos has spent the last few months recovering from a torn meniscus in his knee that he suffered in preparation for his eventual title earning win over Cain Velasquez at the inaugural UFC on Fox back in November.

Overeem, on the other hand, is coming off a first round TKO via Uberkick of Brock Lesnar at UFC 141. We’ve added a gif of the liver kick from hell below. Why, you ask? BECAUSE WE CAN.

Fun Fact: Both men have not lost a fight since 2007. Dos Santos has scored nine straight with six coming by way of TKO, and Overeem has notched eleven in a row, with only one of those making it out of the first round.

What do you think Potato Nation, will JDS be able to fend off the overwhelming machismo of Alistair, or will the heavyweight title change hands yet again? Also, Rhode Island, neither a road nor an island. DISCUSS.

-J. Jones.

By Aaron Powers (Jawbreaker_46)
(What the hell is ‘Rampage’ doing in this photo?)

I have been a correctional officer for five years now, and it would be an understatement to say that I’ve seen some crazy shit.

The institution I work at, which shall remain nameless, specializes in mental health. Think half psych-ward, half prison. There are inmates and patients who eat their shit, throw their shit, and smear their shit. Once an inmate shoved a pencil in his pee hole and about half way down the shaft, poked it out through the top and ripped it out, slitting his unit up the middle so it looked like a micro-waved hot dog.  There is a patient who, every month or so will bash his head on the wall to get Satan to stop talking to him. His forehead looks like that old In Living Color skit where the family had asses on their heads… and they couldn’t figure out where the whistling was coming from on the roller coaster…. You don’t remember that one? Trust me it happened. So yeah like I said, crazy shit.

(Video courtesy of Sapo/IronForgesIron)

If you weren’t excited about the next major Zuffa show on February 25 before, this 10-minute extended preview should get you pumped for the first UFC show in Japan in more than 10 years.

You know the card for UFC 144 is good when Yushin Okami, “Kid” Yamamoto and Hatsu Hioki are on the prelims. The card is stacked. Edgar versus Bendo will be a fast-paced chess match, Rampage versus Bader should be a slugfest, Hunt versus Kongo will be a K-1 bout in a cage and Pettis versus Lauzon is an interesting clash of styles. What’s not to like about this event?

By Mike Russell

We know the suspense has been killing you, so we’re just going to break it to you.

Apparently Nick Diaz partook in the stick icky a little too close to his UFC 143 welterweight interim title bout with Carlos Condit as the Nevada State Athletic Commission has announced this afternoon that the Stockton native’s post-fight urinalysis came back positive for marijuana metabolites.

According to NSAC executive director Keith Kizer, 18 of the 22 fighters who competed on Saturday night’s card were tested and only Diaz yielded a positive result.

Carlos Condit, Fabricio Werdum, Josh Koscheck, Renan Barao, Ed Herman, Dustin Poirier, Max Hollaway, Matt Riddle, Henry Martinez, Edwin Figueroa, Alex Caceres, Matt Brown, Chris Cope, Rafael Natal, Michael Kuiper, Stephen Thompson and Dan Stittgen were also tested.

You read that correctly. Russia…has water parks. Not only do they get to have Sambo, awesome sweaters, and The Dude’s favorite beverage, but now they have waterparks as well. YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THE LAND OF SNOW AND SORROW GOD DAMN IT.

We have no clue where this video came from, or what the true purpose of it is, but we’d be lying if we said that Piterland doesn’t look like the bees knees, and apparently former PRIDE Heavyweight champion Fedor Emelianenko and his daughter Masha agree. We are still waiting to hear who “The Last Emperor’s” next opponent will be, but rumors have ranged everywhere from Bobby Lashley in a MMA match to Brock Lesnar in a pro wrestling bout, so who the hell knows? What we do know is that the next man to fight Fedor might want to reconsider if he values his health whatsoever. Poor Ishii.

What’s that you say? You want to see a MMA fighter humiliate and dance around his opponent ala Silva/Leites/Maia/anyone before brutally kicking them in the face? Well we’ve got just the video awaiting your viewership after the jump.

(Hover-hands… making UFC fighters not seem like germophobes since 1993.)

We realized we haven’t had a good old fashioned caption contest in a while, so to make it up to you guys we figured we’d do three for the price of one. That way you can pick your favorite photo to mercilessly carve, rather than having us disappoint you by choosing one that dries out your creative juices. And you say that we never listen.

You know the drill. Come up with your best captions for these three Tracy Lee photos from last weekend’s “It Ain’t Chemo” fundraiser. Best one for each pic gets a CP devil horns or HOF T-shirt. One prize limit per entrant.

And….GO!

(If Dana were to give an actual State of the Union, we imagine it would sound a little something like this.)

Now, I know I am going to take a lot of flack for writing this, but it’s good to see that UFC President Dana White is at least addressing our concerns when it comes to the clusterfuck that is MMA judging and refereeing. No matter what, or should I say, whose, side you took in the whole Diaz/Condit debacle, you probably agree that there need to be some serious changes made when it comes to choosing the winner of a given fight. And don’t even get us started on the Koscheck/Pierce decision.

The simple fact is that although the sport has evolved in leaps and bounds over the years, the matter by which it is judged has refused to change its mindset, like a stubborn old man who still believes that a mythical beast hustled him out of three dollars and fifty cents.

And while reffing will always contain a certain degree of human subjectivity (as with any other sport), MMA judges should be able to adhere to stricter, more definable rules than “aggression” and “octagon control,” which leave a lot of room for interpretation when it comes to deciding a close round. We’ve already put forth several options, and per usual, no one has returned our calls.

Anyway, join us after the jump for a transcription of DW’s inaugural “Presidential Address,” as well a snippet about his plans to bring the UFC to Hawaii.

(Maybe this is why the Condit fight ain’t happening?)

According to Nevada State Athletic Commission executive director Keith Kizer, an unnamed fighter that competed on Saturday night’s UFC 143 card in Las Vegas had a drug test come back positive for an unspecified substance.

Here’s Kizer’s quote from an email we received today:

“Thank you for the many email and phone calls.  I am still waiting for all the steroid and drug test results to come back.  We did have at least one positive test.  I will send out an email later today on that matter.”

(These things have been passed around more than Arlovski’s ex-girlfriend.)

Although the UFC only had five weight classes at the time, four years ago today it had seven champions and only two still hold a strap.

BJ Penn (155), Matt Serra (170), Anderson Silva (185), Quinton Jackson (205) and Randy Couture (265) held titles in their respective weight divisions, while Georges St-Pierre (170) and Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira (265) were the anointed interim champions.

Fun Fact: Anderson Silva is the only champ who still holds the same belt he did then.

Remember when we posted that photo of Frankie Edgar getting his BMW M5 “towed” away by repo men? Well, it turns out that the mastermind behind the prank, TUF 14′s Akira Corassani, even went as far as to hire actors hooked up with some Mission Impossible-esque camera glasses to capture the whole thing on video. The man is like the Swedish Ashton Kutcher. But although he’s come a long way from shaving castmates hair in their sleep, he will never match the whip-it gag Kelso managed to pull on Demi Moore a couple weeks ago. That was like the Thomas Crown Affair of modern day pranks.

(I could’ve sworn I took the blue pill.)

By Jason Moles

They say that time waits for no one and that you’d be wise to treasure every moment you have. After reading this, I bet you’d agree too.

To realize the value of ten years: Ask a 20-something-year-old who just signed his first major contract.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/FromRussiaWithLois)

Growing up, I always laughed at douchebags who would pick a fight with a much smaller guy, only to learn the hard way  that they shouldn’t have. I imagine a few of Anderson Silva’s tormenters experienced a bit of this poetic justice in the 80s for making fun of his Kid N’ Play hairdo and knockoff Reebok Pumps.

(Props: karmaatemycat.tumblr.com, the Internet’s #1 source for Karmaatemycat video blogs.)

The life of an MMA fighter isn’t all loose women and free lollipops. It’s a 24/7 grind, and if you’re a hungry up-and-comer without the benefit of fancy-shmancy UFC accident insurance, you might have to perform some home surgery once in a while.

Our dear friend Jefferey “Karmaatemycat” Watts recently posted the following vid on his official site after a nasty cauliflower ear flare-up, with the following description: “Oh yeah thats right I did it, I drained that bitch. I am sure it wont be the last time but dammit if I am not worried anymore and it beats waiting on useless Doctors who went to school for ten years to tell me about shit they don’t know anything about.”

So how did Karma’s ear-drainage go? Well, hit that play button and find out.

(Ronda Rousey Continues Her Crusade to Become the Female Chael P. Sonnen — Video courtesy of MMA Fighting)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere…

-  Miesha Tate: ‘Ronda Rousey Sounds Like An Idiot Half the Time’ (5th Round)

- UFC on FOX 4 set for Staples Center in Los Angeles, Calif., on Aug. 4 (MMA Mania)

-  Tapout/UFC Announce New Sponsorship Partnership (MMA Payout)

-  UFC 143 Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda With Scottie Epstein (MiddleEasy)

-  Valentijn Overeem on Lesnar, JDS and Alistair (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

- UFC Announces Twitter Bonus Winners for Q4 (Lowkick.Blitzcorner.com)

- Sanchez Says He’d Be Willing to Fight Teammate Condit  (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Death of a Fight Club  (MMA Convert)

- Dr. PaulBowman on “Theorizing Bruce Lee” (The Fight Nerd)

-  UFC Message: Please Forget the outcome of Condit/Diaz I (Fight Opinion)

-  Stephen “Wonderboy” Thompson’s Post-UFC 143 Blog (FightLine)

(“Why do you keep following me to these things? I told you you’re fired.”)

Mauricio “Shogun” Rua announced last night via Twitter that he had split from his longtime manager Marcelo Alonso and today went on to explain the reason for his decision

According to Mauricio, he and Alonso had differing opinions of how Rua’s career should be handled. Marcelo apparently felt that he should be in charge of securing sponsorships, co-ordinating fight camps and handling press for the former UFC light heavyweight champion, while his client believed that the tasks should handled by three people.

“What happened was that Eduardo believed in a line of working and I trust another one,” Rua told Tatame. “He believed my career should be managed by one guy, I don’t agree with that.”

(“Awwww…How adorable are you?”)

It looks like Brett Rogers is content with his career being that of a can crusher.

The former EliteXC and Strikeforce heavyweight’s next opponent is 38-year-old Todd Allee, who is 2-1 (1 NC) with only four fights under his belt, including two wins against a pair of fighters with a combined 0-3 record.

“Da Grim,” who was dropped by Zuffa after his arrest last summer for beating his wife, was set to square off at the “My Bloody Valentine” event with another disgraced fighter by the name of Jeff “The Predator” Kugel. The 1-0 Michigan native, whose sole win came over Eric “Butterbean” Esch, was banned for life by the Ontario Hockey League after taking to the ice during a brawl, pulling a Paul Daley sucker punching an unsuspecting victim and skating around the ice trying to incite the crowd while the referees attempted to corral him.

Now instead he’ll face Allee, a Michigan MMA instructor who hasn’t fought in a year.

(Are you there God? It’s me, Cowboy…)

A lot of fight booking action today, Potato Nation.

Before dropping a unanimous decision to Nate Diaz at UFC 141, Donald “Cowboy” Cerrone had arguably the best 2011 of any fighter out there, scoring victories over Paul Kelly, Vagner Rocha, Charles Oliveira, and Dennis Siver, three of which came by way of stoppage. And although he ended the year on a loss, Cerrone will be looking to start off 2012 with a big win when he takes on 60 fight veteran Yves Edwards at UFC on FX 3, which goes down at the Patriot Center in Fairfax, Virginia on May 15th.

After suffering one of the most brutal knockout losses of 2011 at the hands of Sam Stout, Edwards has gone 1-1 in the UFC, picking up a second round TKO over Rafaello Oliveira at UFC Live 6 before being outpointed by TUF 13 winner Tony Ferguson at the TUF 14 Finale in December. Edwards will likely be a considerable underdog going into this one, so Yves, for the sake of the Thugjitsu nation, lay off the KC Masterpiece.

And in other UFC on FX news…

(“And then he had the nerve to say that we all probably dance around an effigy in grass skirts praying to our pygmy gods. Talk about clueless.”)

Anderson Silva appeared in the latest episode of the Brazilian “Sports Spectacular” series over the weekend as part of a promotional appearance for one of his sponsor’s brands, Amazoo Açaí.

During the segment, Silva fought by the Amazon tribe’s “huka-huka” rules, losing when his back was taken by his opponent, but when the tables were turned and he was allowed to employ his Brazilian jiu-jitsu techniques, the UFC middleweight fighter put on a submission clinic for the Kamayura people.

(I got you now you son of a…wait, where’d you go?) 

A great man once said that if you tweet it, they will come. Yes it seems that after days of tireless bitching reasonable pleas, we will in fact be treated to a Carlos Condit/Nick Diaz rematch in the near future. DW broke the news yesterday via his Twitter (go figure):